Alicent being ignored as a parent during those first few years. Alicent being expected to take care of aegon, while also allowing Viserys to take him whenever he so pleased, to show off and pass around like a model toy. Alicent being denied her child whenever lords and ladies were around. Alicent only getting him back when she was at her wits end, stressed after being separated from him for so long, watching people hold him wrong, play with him wrong, touch him wrong. Alicent only getting him back when he is fussy and no longer a source of entertainment for Viserys and his guests. Alicent holding her baby close to her chest during outings or events, stiffening when people ask to see him, hesitant to release her grip on him. Alicent biting her tongue when people ask to "give her a break" when she really wants to tell them that it's her baby and she's perfectly capable. Alicent being so exhausted from guests and Aegon being so little and full of energy, and her second pregnancy, causing her to doze with Aegon in her arms, only to nearly lash out when someone tries to slip him from her arms, engulfing him in her arms as if to fend him from hungry wolves. Alicent carrying him around, even as she grows tired, her arms burning and back aching, so she knows he is safe, away from prying hands and acrid whispers, away from his father's attempts to use him for amusement purposes. Alicent feigning a smile, feigning composure and enjoyment, when really, she just wants to be home, in her chambers with her son, where no one can bother them, where they aren't props meant to smile and wave for a man who does not love them.
(inspired by this reblog of my post from earlier. cause yes, @squgs [hope you don't mind me tagging] is right, she would very much go to war for her baby)
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
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I saw someone talking about Cale not being innocent with relationships, which i agree with, so wanna also add my personal opinion on this rather interesting matter+a bit on his trauma!
Cale loved reading novels and comics, so he probably read some romance or smut among the way too. As we know, he is a quite curious person, thus i doubt he wouldn't be interested in it at least for a bit.
He also recognizes relationship stuff overall! Like for example in Korean arc with Kim Min Ah and Bae Puh Rum. They weren't a couple yet, however Cale noticed vibes around them so there is also a comment about them looking good together. Even if it was more of a "Ah, they were lovely-dovely since then", it is still a realization.
As a result, if we push back the idea of Cale being aroace, he isn't innocent! Cale knows enough to understand romance, sex, flirting and all that jazz on a basic level.
Here is the thing, right?
When literally anything relared to emotions or relationships, both platonic and romantic, includes HIM in the equations, Cale suddenly becomes a fool.
An obvious, absolutely traumatized and with little to no self-awareness fool.
Cale literally degrades himself and his feelings or emotions on a daily basis, guys, i don't think this depressed man is able to comprehend that people actually just enjoy his sole presence alone.
Again, the problem here not in Cale not realizing/recognizing that kind of stuff (what basically innocence implies), but in Cale not thinking that someone can like him or be into him.
People don't give enough credit to how severe his self-hatred, that was builded for tens of years and supported by hearing others hate him, is.
It absolutely distorted Cale's view of himself.
As Kim Rok Soo? Well, he was always average looking, the scars made him look even worse.
As Cale? Well, he might look better now, but his personality still trash, he is selfish and not emotional overall.
If nothing above works? Well, his self made inner image of a "Bad person" always does!
He wouldn't ever believe that someone can love him romanticly.
Because why? Why him?
He is absolutely disoriented when people show their care for him nowadays. In the novel it plays of as the silly moments of obvious Cale, but if you think about that?
It just Cale honestly not understanding why they care for HIM.
This is not about innocence. Not at all.
It is about a man who cannot love himself and as a result doubting everyone's love for him.
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Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky~
Inspired from This post of @just-dol-headshots and this ask from @hakusins. Don't worry I'm still aiming for your ass Haku-Dean :) References and something under the cut
We all have to agree Bully Robin should have some softer and caring sides. When there's only them two and no one else is around to judge, he can let loose and slip back into that kinda of "Original Robin" we know and I love. I mean, that's what JDOLH made that got me into these swap messes from the beginning jsjkhskjhd you knowww the HUG!!
Reference: Barbie Girl (Aqua) and this cute ecchi Clamp Chobit piece
All in all I'm a pink bietch and Dollya won't be losing her V-card anytime soon that I can promise so hang in there okay mr.Bully.
edit: OMG THIS IS MY 1000TH POST TTOTT)) JKSDJLASKJKDLA
SELF-INDULGENT HERE WE GO
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I am going to keep slutting Ghost out, he deserves it. Respectfully. But also the man cannot dress himself, he has no drip. He's got 20 black t-shirts, he's got jeans and fatigues and that's it. He thinks skull and skeleton motifs are cool. Soap and Gaz get him a skeleton sweatshirt/sweatpants fit as a gag gift and laugh themselves hoarse when he wears them around the base.
I'm not saying he doesn't look so fucking good in a black tee and fatigues, but the man does not have style. Not on purpose. He wears his usual black tee and maybe some black cargo pants, wanders around town in his big army boots and gets stopped by goth kids and tech/streetwear folks. He doesn't know what the fuck they're complimenting him for. He doesn't know why they're talking to him. He tells Gaz about it and Gaz almost chokes on his drink, has to call Soap over to hear this. Ghost doesn't know fashion trends, he doesn't care, he's going to keep doing what he's doing.
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