#because that's what it is

[estrellami-1]

Steve never yelled.

It was something everyone knew and no one talked about. All his anger was quiet, a rage simmering just beneath the surface.

And sure; he’d raise his voice to be heard over the cacophony of the kids he’d unwittingly adopted, but everyone agreed that wasn’t yelling. That was just making sure he was heard.

Even Eddie, as his boyfriend, had never heard him yell before. And there’s something to be said about following the leader: even when they argued, even when tensions were high, Steve never yelled. So Eddie didn’t, either.

He wished he could take back the one time he did.

Eddie was hot-tempered. He knew this. Everyone knew this. Hot-tempered and a knife-sharp tongue, cutting down to the marrow with just his words. He’d never use his fists. This is also something everyone knows.

Eddie’s animated, larger-than-life, and he continued that trend in his arguments. Hands flying out to prove a point, but never to strike.

Everyone knew why. Everyone who knew Eddie knew what happened when he was nine, when Momma died and Daddy tried to find happiness at the bottom of a bottle.

That was the summer he moved in with Wayne. Wayne was a kind soul, slow to speak and even slower to anger. He was even-tempered, which meant it took a lot to get him mad, but once he was there, he wasn’t letting go easy.

So Eddie never raised his hands. Steve never raised his voice. Steve never raised his hands, either.

Eddie wished, with everything inside of him, he hadn’t raised his voice.

Because there’s something to be said about following the leader. When Eddie yelled, Steve followed.

Eddie didn’t know what they were arguing about anymore. Something stupid, he’s sure, but all he heard was blood rushing in his ears as he argued with Steve.

Steve, unflappable Steve, unshakeable Steve, argued back. He raised his voice.

Then, suddenly, he stopped. “Shit,” he whispered, eyes wide and not completely present. “Shit- I- sorry, I- I’m-” he shook his head, started to back up, almost tripped on nothing. Caught himself on the counter. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t- didn’t mean to-”

Abruptly, everything was silent. Eddie’s blood stilled as something ugly rose up in his throat. “Steve?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I’m not- not him, I swear, I don’t- I didn’t-” he shook his head again.

Eddie almost cursed when he finally realized what was happening. A panic attack. “Steve,” he said, slowly, calmly. “Stevie, baby, can I touch you?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered again, gasping for breath.

“No, babylove,” Eddie murmured. “My fault, isn’t it? I should’ve known. Can I touch you, Stevie?”

He nodded, lip trembling. “‘M sorry.”

“No, sweets. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, c’mere.” He tugged Steve into a hug, nudged his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, rubbed soothing hands down his back. “Breathe with me, baby, c’mon, you can do this. Come back to me.”

Steve choked on a breath. “‘M sorry,” he mumbled again, and here were the tears, here’s what Eddie had been waiting for. He knew crying would likely trigger a headache, so he made a mental list of things he’d need to prepare.

“Not your fault,” Eddie promised him again. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I never shoulda yelled, that’s on me.” He smoothed his hands down over Steve’s back again. “Come back to me, baby, where are you?”

Shaking hands grabbed at Eddie’s shirt, just above his hips. “Eddie.”

“That’s me,” Eddie agreed. “Take a breath for me, sweets, c’mon. In and out.” A shaky puff of air hit his neck, and he gently squeezed Steve. “That’s good. That’s so good. One more, Stevie, c’mon, just one more breath.”

Slowly but surely, Steve calmed down. He let out one last sigh and unclenched his hands, wrapping them around his boyfriend’s waist. “Sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Eddie promised again. “You okay?”

Steve sniffed. “Think so. I, uh… didn’t know that would happen.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No.” He sniffed again, pressed his fingertips into the divots of Eddie’s spine. “I’ve tried, my whole life, to be anybody but my dad. He… he would yell, and I remember thinking as a little kid that… dads aren’t supposed to scare their kids.” He shrugged. “I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision, not to yell. Just a… side effect, I guess, of not being like him.”

Eddie sighed. “And here I come along and fuck it all up, huh?”

Steve shook his head. “You make everything better, Eds. Even if we argue. Because I know we’ll be okay.” He managed a huff of a laugh. “I, uh, don’t actually remember what we were arguing about anymore.”

Eddie chuckled. “Me neither, Stevie.” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Steve lifted his head to kiss Eddie properly. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Eddie answered instantly. “Always.”

#steddie #stranger things #Steve Harrington #Eddie Munson #both their dads are awful #can I tag #daddy issues #because that's what it is #panic attack #steddie fic #st fic #or would this be a ficlet? #i dont know what this is #starambles

[ride-thedragon]

Not gonna lie. The idea that the show cares what we want in terms of adapting George's story outside of wanting more accurate adaptations is wild. Some of you weren't Game of Thrones fans when season 8 premiered, and I'm reminded of that every time a deviation in the plot is made up by fans to support character relationships. They care about your engagement, but they are adapting a book, and that author is making them a lot of money. They care about him and their adaptation of his story more than they care about expectations. Expectations were the downfall of the last show.

#hotd #house of the dragon #hotd meta #like yea Alicent will poison aegon for Rhaenyra’s death #as though there aren't countless men who are willing by that time #also Daemon will not sleep with Mysaria #and Corlys doesn't care about Marilda #and Rhaenyra will torture Alicent #and mourn Jace like she did Visenya and Luke #because that's what it is #not saying we cant daydream but #its getting weird

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Hypothetical incredibox mod 3 2 1 let's go

Avenue 13

Every single sound tells a sad story...

All the characters are either people who are out of the picture (meaning varies from person to person), abstract concepts given form, or present and expiriencing the horrors in a way

The story is about grief and losing everything to circumstance and your own acts

Fucked up! Big time! Heavily!

And some of the abstract concepts also insult the protag, like HEAVILY

I don't think i can say a lot without spoiling the story (it's so good i don't wanna reveal it all just like that even though this is only hypothetical) but it is DARK and HEAVY AS FUCK

Anyway yeah that's it okay bye have a good one

#hypothetical stuff #incredibox #incredibox mod #because that's what it is #an incredibox mod #for incredibox #yeag

[adinelleggreeo]

I think of all the people making fun of Jojo Siwa in her comment section and I shake my head, because how hypocritical can you get?

These are the SAME people that get online and berate people for doing the SAME thing to people that they like.

Mental health matters until it's someone you don't like or think is cringe, huh?

And don't talk to me about all the allegations or whatever. You can call that out WITHOUT being a hypocritical bully.

Unfortunately for Jojo, she's living her goofy years in the public eye. The least we as people who have also gone through the goofy years can do it KEEP QUIET if we don't have anything nice to say.

Here's my nice thing to say: the song isn't as bad as others are making it out to be. It's generic, but pretty catchy. If she decides to continue this singer thing, I hope she'll actually contribute to the writing of her next song (I don't think she's a writer, so any future songs are going to be written for her)

Be kind please. Sometimes being kind means KEEPING QUIET and not jumping on a bully train just because everyone else is doing it. Have a thought of your own for goodness sake!

#jojo siwa #karma #karma's a bitch #jojo karma's a bitch #jojo siwa karma #she's like 20 #we were all doing cringe stuff at 20 #who are you to make fun of her then? #cyber bullying #because that's what it is #no im not a jojo fan #im almost 30 so im waaay out of the age group for her fans #but i was 17-20 once #and i would i have died if people came this hard for me and my goofy art #treat others as you would like them to treat you and all that #adinelle ggreeo

[tirsynni]

Okay. I’ve written about people’s takes on age before. Usually in the form of rants. Now I’m seeing some things pop up regarding the characters’ ages and their appearance in the upcoming RE animated movie and I’m flailing a bit. Too tired to do it too energetically, but I hope everyone knows that the thought is there.

If I have the timeline right, the characters in the new Death Island (someone just told me the correct name) should be in their late 30s to early/mid 40s. Now, we all know that Capcom is weird with ages. They like to make characters unrealistically young for the amount of experience/rank/education they have. They do that fucking ageist shit with women where they always look young and beautiful and perky, and btw, here’s some unnecessary skin shots. (Do some fucking skin shots with Leon, you cowards.) Thus, frustrated fan responses are to be expected.

Except some of these fan responses are just... wtf, people??? I’m cool with “Let characters look their age,” but then they get specific with how they think the characters should look. “Give them wrinkles! Give them grey hair! Give them things that don’t actually match their ages!”

How old do people think that age range is? People are considered young adult until they hit thirty-five years old. Thirty-five. 35. 3. 5. After that? Adult. You’re still going through puberty until you hit 25. At 35? At the bridge between young adult and adult. You still have years to go before you hit retirement age. I promise.

This reminds me too much of that bullshit online where people get on adults (especially women) when they reach a certain age and they’re still online. Like, once you reach a certain age, you’re no longer allowed to have fun. You are no longer allowed to interact with people below that line without being considered a predator. You’re supposed to follow this normative (typically heteronormative, ironically enough) pattern of being married with kids and only dealing with “adult, boring” things. “Wait, you’re how old? Get offline, you weirdo, and do your taxes or something.”

It feels like people want to deny to the death that they’re influenced by societal ageism. They have unrealistic, often creepy expectations of how people are supposed to look and act when they hit a number which usually has a creepy parallel with Conservative purist beliefs. They get angry when they hear about the ageism in Hollywood and then say the same things but just with different wording. Isn’t that funny? How you have two, supposedly opposing sides with the same exact nasty opinion? It’s all in the language and wording. Each side has a different dictionary, and as long as they use the words appropriate for their individual sides, it doesn’t matter if the message is the same.”Ugh. You’re a woman and you’re how old and still writing fanfiction? Shouldn’t you be taking care of your kids?”

A popular argument is that these people are traumatized and of course that would age them. That further enrages me. Can trauma have a physical impact like that? Yes. But there seems to be this popular concept that trauma must have a visible impact. I’ve seen over and over again that finally Leon looks as traumatized as he actually is in the RE4 Remake. Trauma has to have a physical appearance: otherwise, is that person truly traumatized?

That’s not how it works. That’s not how it works at all. I’ve written a fic myself where Leon experiences heavy trauma and it leads to premature greying, but that was for individual fic purposes and I hope people recognize the difference, how one fic or one instance doesn’t make something automatic or universal. People can go through horrific trauma without a physical mark to show for it. No scarring, no premature wrinkles. Their hair won’t magically turn white overnight. Fuck, some people go through trauma without PTSD or lifelong issues. It is based on their history, their genetics, their role in the traumatic action, level of support, what happened before/during/after, etc. Not everyone goes through trauma and welp! Immediate PTSD and triggers and nightmares and grey hair and weeping fits. (And no, for fuck’s sake, this isn’t an insult to anyone who went through trauma and now deal with these issues: the point is that trauma and trauma response is individualized and needs to be recognized as so.)

There are an insane amount of real stories where someone commits suicide and everyone comments that they never saw it coming, that there was no indication prior. The person seemed so happy! They were always friendly! Hell, maybe they were even the group comedian! If you look at warning signs for suicide, sometimes visible depression is one of them but it is usually far more subtle things. 

Trauma hits people differently, with different responses, different signs. Two people can go through the same exact thing and one comes out with PTSD and the other not. One person has nightmares and the other doesn’t. One has nightmares but no triggers, no PTSD. One can’t stand certain smells or sounds anymore but sleeps reasonably well and has a good life.

People have this thing where, if your trauma isn’t visible, if you aren’t acting appropriately, it didn’t happen or it wasn’t that bad. Raped women are often told that surely it couldn’t have been rape: they weren’t acting traumatized. One airplane crash survivor was scorned and called heartless for not being in hysterics when she was just in shock and oblivious to the fact that she was the only survivor. If you don’t show your trauma in certain ways, people dismiss you or insult you. To be accepted, you have to act traumatized. It has to show like the blood is still painting your skin. You have to have dark circles under your eyes. You must always, always visibly carry your pain and grief.

It’s exhausting to see this everywhere, but it’s even more frustrating to have supposedly “woke” people parroting these lines: if you are above a certain age you are old and you better look it; if you really went through trauma it had better show.

Fuck, too much time in the sun and too much smoking will age your skin more than trauma will. Yes, I want them to make the women look like they can legally drink, and when the time comes, I would love to see these characters with grey in their hair and wrinkles. In their 30s/early-to-mid!40s? Probably not going to see too much unless you have the genetic disposition for it.

Sincerely, someone who is in the same age range as these characters and who is sick and tired of hearing comments about her young appearance.

#resident evil #rant #ageism #purity culture #because that's what it is #tw: rape mention #you don't experience trauma #and then have it appear on your skin #a tattoo for every tragedy #you don't it a certain age #and immediately pop wrinkles #wtf people #long post #longer than expected

[gynandromorph]

i love that the wiki article for messianic judaism calls it a branch of protestant christianity

#because that's what it is

[dudefrommywesterns]

and people act like i'm being unreasonable.

#i'm sorry #i'm supposed to think i'm lovable? #or desirable? #the way my life has ever gone? #you all got evidence or do you just enjoy lying to me? #because that's what it is #a lie.

[liqhtenup]

wtf with that article

this article teaching me things i never knew???

OFFERS A CONSIDERABLE PAYOFF FOR READERS???? babe no i've been burning inside FOR AGES now because of fitz being homophobic and because of that beautiful romance story not even being a romance AND because of our fav queer character being thrown to the ground, tortured and not having their perfect love story even though they deserve it SO MUCH.

now don't come talk to me and say this only has benefits for queer people reading this book because no . like robin, our babe forever, she just comes she settles some perfect situation, friends-to-lovers trope, but then she's like no i said no homo. babeee when you do something DO IT WELL.

the link :

#sorry for that little anger post #this teaching us fitz has a desire for same-sex intimacy #and me wishing i could believe it #i know it was written and finished years ago but this could deserve a little shaping a little change #beloved beloved beloved #the fool the fool the fool #ily ily ily #fitzloved #robin hobb #homophobia . #because that's what it is #rote #wtf is this article tell me

[doppel-dean-er]

me trying my hardest to describe kissing as something other than disgusting

#my aromanticism is showing #IM TRYING #I CANT #IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE ugh this is so gross I don't want to write about it IT'S JUST THAT LIKE THE ONLY ACCURATE WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT IS. #DISGUSTING #AND GROSS #BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT IS #BUT I CAN'T DO THAT EVERY TIME #tw blood #chris's creations

[eachuisge-cc]

I call this one "every house in Lompoc, CA"

#I'm revamping the inner circle neighborhood to make it look more like a sad california suburb #because that's what it is #I grew up in california but I also hate it there so my credentials for this task are dubious

[sighonahurricane]

At this point I won't be surprised to know if SK comes up and says Lizzie's character is based on Lana Del Rey music.

#because that's what it is

[trashy-greyjoy]

really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

#who cares if its platonic love who fucking CARES if its because they wanna kiss like the devotion and the tenderness is there no matter what #mainly brought to you by: jack and anne from black sails but also probably sydcarmy and msr #sydcarmy #msr #rackhanne #the bear #black sails #txf #the x files #mulder x scully #sydney x carmy #jack rackham x anne bonny #oh wait perhaps also theonsa if you squint #maybe not

[sleepygaymerdisease]

#'who was this about' dont worry <3 #EDIT hi i didnt realize this would get notes LOL. um everyone reblog with what character ur thinking of because im NOSEY i WANNA SEE #edit 2 to everyone trying to guess what the character i made this for was. youre all wrong. this was about kamen rider #youd think lupin because of my profile picture but alas i have other interests as well... #anis gaymer moments

[literallyaflame]

how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

#yes this applies to gender too #if a kid says ‘i’m a girl!!’ it might be because they’re a girl or #it might be because they’ve got an incomplete picture of what a ‘girl’ is in their brains #and as a parent ur job is to help them complete those pictures #by asking them questions and giving them new information and playing w them

[cadmium-free]

terribly charmed by my sibling sending me a voice message that just said “i just always take ibuprofen at the wrong time. i had a headache all afternoon, from three to eight pm and then i took an ibuprofen half an hour before the headache went away! i could have just saved an ibuprofen!”

#text #edited to actually transcribe the message because it's so much funnier than what i wrote #notifications are muted

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently