#beef: like your MOM

[kiwinatorwaffles]

big advocate for vampire vintagebeef because i just think it would be very fucking funny if he was bitten by a bat or something and just never realized he was turned into a vampire. he wonders why he gets sunburnt so easily and then spends a whole season in the middle of buttfuck nowhere with the sun beating on his back every single day. he thinks his “very sharp canines” is just a normal thing in his genetic code that came with puberty. he eats raw meat and when questioned he’s like “don’t bully me i like my steak rare :(“ and then pause is like my guy that’s not rare steak that shit’s legendary

#etho: that kinda looks like it still moos #beef: like your MOM #<- credit to sky for those and the legendary joke #team canada #vintagebeef #pauseunpause #hermitcraft #orchard’s library

[magdaclaire]

re: the american education system showing high school children their "dead" peers in an effort to lessen teenage drunk driving after prom,

the suing part is one hundred percent true but several parents (including my mom <3) threatened to personally beat the ass of the principal at the time

#i'm small town they all grew up together #when my brother graduated i had just finished seventh grade #and my mom walked up to my brother's now former principal and was like alright henry you have a year #you have a year where you have none of my children in your school. i recommend getting your shit together in the mean time #and the high school had a different principal when i hit ninth grade #mer rambles #the new principal was lisa and we already had beef though thankfully my mother and grandmother were not involved #i got dress coded a lot bc wearing a belt was part of the dress code and i did not own one and had no interesting in procuring one #because i'm autistic and belts fucking suck #but every time i got dress coded teachers would send me directly to the principal bc i had an attitude problem you know how it is #and i'd walk in and lisa would be like “belt again?” and i'd be like “yeah :) how are my grades doing :)” #bc the first time i got sent directly to her i told her to pull up my grades and tell me that a belt mattered to my education #and she would just tell me to go back to class beltless #i was in... sixth or seventh grade at the time? #then lisa moved to the high school my first two years and then became superintendent #during the senior pep rally i was leaving the rally to go to my favorite teacher's classroom bc it was loud #and lisa and one of the other school board members were in the hall bc it was an Event #and they're like Where Are You Going Get Back In There and i was like well lisa i still have anxiety attacks so i'm gonna go be somewhere #else. is that alright with you? and she just waved me off :) <3 #i'm a nuisance to any and all authority figures

[super-who-locked-me-in-here]

Sitting here fantasizing about me and Will Graham having the same meat freezer

#i could put so many body parts in there for my cannibal lover #don't worry there's nothing weird in there #it's not like my mom left one day to 'get meat for your uncle's business' #and came back with like 30 indiviually wrapped portions of 'local beef' #it's absolutely fine #no randall tier here #hannibal #will graham

[metagalacticx]

-Colleen McCullough, The Thorn Birds

#morey #morey edit #teen wolf edit #teen wolf #mason hewitt #corey bryant #twgs #i love them your honour. #i’d give them my life your honour. #jeff davis will never see the pearly gates your honour. #anyway #MOREY #one of the things i love about morey is there are so many things they could be AND STILL SO MANY THINGS THEY ACTUALLY ARE #like…..hi mom i’m dating this guy who died last semester #hey dad i’m dating this guy who was possessed and temporarily erased from existence #oh yeah i agreed to go on a date with you to find out info on your evil chimera leader #oh yeah your best friend kinda has beef with me and your alpha kinda sucked that one time #i can’t imagine the convos they have about scott and theo like…. lmfao #they love each other so much. when i say morey is best ship in teen wolf i’m only half joking #morey content for all my morey enjoyers morey enthusiasts morey fanatics #aka ME #thanks allyjostan for the suggestion!!

[skyburger]

i know their asses are fake music fans i know wamuu has never heard a single george michael song hes never even heard wake me up before you go-go. esidisi doesnt even KNOW about highway to hell. kars is also there

#SORRY IDK ANY CARS SONGS #i did look them up on spotify and like i listened to it and its good music!!!! but ive never heard it before LOL #anyway. i feel like ive sinned spelling acdc and wham like that #but i always spell kars with a k he looks stupid with a c... Automobile? your name is fucking automobile? #anyway as much as i just wanna call them wham and acdc. if i write them the official localization way #its easier for me to make clear when im talking about wham! (the pop duo) and AC/DC (the rock band) #anyway im allowed to post this because like well firstly why wouldnt i be #but secondly george michael is my moms fave singer #and before i discovered mcr i would say ac/dc was my fave band cuz that was like the first real artist i would just #sit down and listen to all their music you know #like before that i didnt have a fave!!! i would just say i liked 80s music #cause tbh all i listened to was video game songs and the radio #and i feel like half the radio was and still is one hit wonders #so id listen to one song by someone on spotify and like it but then i just wouldnt care for any of their other stuff a lot of the time #anyway ac/dc and eventually mcr were my gateway drug into like becoming a Music Guy (aka having more of a taste in music than i did + #when i was 12 years old.) #tldr wham is my moms fave band (''pop duo'' technically i guess but stfu its a band) and ac/dc was my first fave (and i still love em) #so im rightfully furious (jokingly) that these faker jjba villians dont even listen to their music!!!! THAT MUSIC IS BICHIN!!!! #stop killing people and listem to everything she wants by wham! please. please. it will fix you #also heres my formal apology to santana because like i have beef with kars for being kars #but santana didnt do shit i just dunno any songs by santana #like the band. sorry to mr. santana himself i will listen to your music one day i promise #anyway sorry for the ramble i looooove talking #muffin mumbles

[cautiousgoose]

I just wanted to take a nap before work!!!

This is usually my day off and I'm tired!!!!!!!

Why am I getting drama broadcast to me by multiple sources right now? 😭

#cautious commentary #it literally has nothing to do with me #why am I being dragged into this #when your mom and her (ex) best friend have beef #and you knew of the beef a week ago #and now the other party is messaging you and your sister and so your sister wants your input bc ofc #she isn't involved either!!!!! #y'all are grown ass women act like it!

[bunnyb34r]

I know I have a severe case of dematillomania and trichotillomania bc I think ab getting surgical tools like multiple times a year when I have a particularly stubborn DEEP hair

#marquilla #i need: localized anesthetic. tiiiiiny scalpel. tiiiiiny hemostats. tiiiiny clamps. okay mostly i want a scalpel #ive thought ab using an exacto blade more than once. only thing stopping me is the probability of hitting an artery or blood vessel :/ #it's too high. my fear of blood is severely diminished when im digging out a hair but it comes back when i see a gush from digging too far #well the pain also stops me i should add that. but mostly the blood vessel thing #i know i have a severe case but i dont intend on stopping bc none of the suggested coping mechanisms and alternatives help me #listen man it's this or smoking. i need something and this does less damage to my body #i can have a little self destructive coping mechanism as a treat #it'd be drinking if i could stomach alcohol. too self aware/cheap to do drugs. seriously consider smoking hence why this is my alternative #and why i dont talk to my therapists ab it anymore. and im too not poor but uhhh financially aware? to gamble #like ive gambled at carnivals lol and my mom will play this one game for hours if we let her (which is funny bc throughout my childhood the #guy running that booth every year was our neighbor we had beef with. we preteneded to not know each other during the carnival agsgdgdggd #i seriously consider smoking like 6x a year but the cosmetic damage (yellow teeth. yellow brittle nails. whatever the hell it does to fuck #up your skin) are more heavy deterrents than the health aspects. also im cheap and hate the smell of smoke sgdgdggd so lucky me huh? #so i need SOME unhealthy coping mechanism so this is better than the other options. besides this is KEEPING me from those so..

[ju-ji]

Also hot mom is now officially less likable than fucking august thanks I hate it

#she sentenced him back to house arrest NOT EVEN house arrest but ROOM ARREST and took his phone and changed the damn wifi password!!!!!! #what the fuck is wrong with you!!!!!!! #she’s like if my son is blind I can’t be happy and if I can’t be happy no one can be happy #but girl. day can be blind and happy so u sure as fuck can be happy too #and day WAS blind and happy!!!!!! and u took that away from him!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I will not allow any defense of her at this point I don’t care about good intentions or worrying about your children too fucking bad. #AND THE BEEF STEW!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t believe this shit this is peak mom behavior #last twilight

[whenthegoldrays]

also I threw shade a a dang 7-year-old this morning and now I have to apologize to his mom 🧍🏻‍♀️

#elly's posts #tbf I didn’t throw shade at him so he’d hear me I did it so she would #and my mom was like hey. watch it #and I was like “no don’t worry I said it honestly” #and I’m not sorry about speaking my truth but I AM sorry about potentially causing beef with his parents so it will be a sincere apology #but also my god people learn to control your child #anyway

[ghostcrows]

but for real though they were torturing that creature psychologically.

#they really just let things get bad...there were some attempts to help me #but it would be short lived and kind of like #'god are you STILL depressed we took you out for ice cream' #putting me on meds saying the meds helped then changing their minds and taking me off cold turkey #my mom actually wrote an angry letter back to me in that particular journal that i tore out and destroyed #imagine beefing with the ghost of your suicidal teenager's past

[bandzboy]

today my mom told me that my little cousin told her that there are weird kids in her class that called her ugly and short and she seems unbothered by it but i honestly just want names......................

#like my mom said she told her this and was laughing #at how pathetic they were by telling her this #but truly what type of education these kids have #to basically bully a girl like this like she really is the nicest kid ever #i am not even saying this because she is my cousin she genuinely has a good heart #and makes sure everyone are included in everything #and to have someone insulting her like this makes me mad #she also said that one of her friends said she was gonna hang out with my cousin #and of these girls basically were like 'poor you' for basically #wanting to hang out with my cousin #if i start beefing with 6th graders... mind your business KJDFKGJD #this is a joke obviously but hearing this made me sad bc #i was also bullied when i was in like 6th/7th grade and i know how evil some people are #and rn it all seems silly i just hope it doesn't get worse yknow what i mean #tris.txt

[hidansexwife]

we never see konan interact with the other akatsuki that much, which i assume is because most of it was her being frustrated at having to wrangle a bunch of insane criminals who make giving yourself wings and calling yourself an angel and a messenger of god look normal and not because kishimoto doesn't think women exist outside of subservience to men

#to be clear i do not think konan is like the 'mom friend' or a normal person or anything #i think everyone else is just so much worse that it makes her look like a regular human being #also mostly i just think she deserves to be more frustrated considering (gestures at the grown ass men she has to deal with on the regular) #naruto shippuden #naruto #akatsuki #konan #.png #like can you imagine being konan. #all you want to do is create a world where the wars that killed your boyfriend and family don't exist anymore #and sure you have a little bit of a god complex but your people need you and love you and look up to you #and then your best friend who is also piloting your dead boyfriend's corpse around #makes you deal with a ninety year old man who just constantly beefs with people more than half his age #a guy who creates skin puppets and also is a skin puppet #deidara. just. deidara. #whatever the hell is going on with itachi #and all the other fucking assholes he keeps finding wandering around like lost rabid orphans #i just think she deserves to snap! #naruto fanart

[pissditching]

How it feels to read through genius lyrics for the song you're listening to while you wait in the car for your nonna to get out of the cardiologists office

#I was gonna make latkes today and then my mom was like oh yeah you gotta take nonna to the doctor and take your brother shopping #nonnas fine btw she just had a small stroke last week and is in for a checkup but she's chillin #87 years old and 110 lbs of pure Italian beef

[hale-of-stiles-heart]

god not to sound like a complete and total dick but like. mom's bf's daughter is making brownies and I'm just internally screaming as she uses up the last of my baking stuff and a bunch of the expensive eggs I just got yesterday. like. no wonder I'm spending so much money I have to keep replacing my ingredients that she's using.

#i am not beefing with a 13 year old i wanna stress that! I'm just really annoyed that mom and her lil bf haven't helped #like get her her own flour and sugar or just buy your own that she can use instead of letting my stuff get used up #i make the least money out of everyone in this house! I'm the least secure in terms of living here bc mom likes to threaten to kick me out! #And yet i gotta keep buying more cocoa powder bc she uses it and without fail spills a bunch of it #ignore me

[lewisbian]

Why did Lewis tell that kid his mom needed to go to specsavers bc she thought he looked better when he was younger

#LIKE HE WAS SO SERIOUS #HE WAS LIKE YOUR MOM NEEDS TO GET HER EYES CHECKED BC IM SURE IM HOTTER NOW #the kid literally being like why are u beefing w my mom ? 😟

[daydreamingtomatos]

"reactionary horror like the exorcist" you did not watch the exorcist

#i get that the Bit is this single working mom isn't able to take care of her kids but idk man being the child of a single parent isnt easy #she clearly loves her daughters and we can see that before any possession #its a story of neglect leading to spiritual misfortune but its not like her father isnt also neglecting her even harder #conservatives fucking hated the exorcist #it draws attention to how poverty ruins your life and the rich arent happy #im not beefing in the comments of that post but like. grips table. you shut your mouth. #tomato talks #movie about how 70s psychiatry wasnt great. like yeah thatd be really regressive rn but I DONT PSYCHIATRY WAS GREAT IN THE 70S