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anthropologicalhands · 4 years

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ceg fic: miss do it right

title: miss do it right gift for: @clemdhoffryn for @crazyexvalentine word count: 4,885 summary: Valencia is ready to propose to Beth. The question, however, of when and where requires expert advice. Valencia & Heather, Beth/Valencia. notes: Happy Valentine’s Day!

“I need your help,” Valencia announces, breezing into Heather and Hector’s foyer, straight into the living room and perching on the arm of the couch adjacent to Heather’s current seat. “Also you really need to get a gardener—that trellis is leaning over.”

“Hector’s getting around to it,” says Heather, looking up from her magazine. “Hi, welcome back to West Coast, Best Coast or whatever. Didn’t I tell you to start texting if you were gonna come over?”

“I told you I was planning a wedding this weekend,” Valencia says archly, as if the mere statement of fact automatically absolves her of visitor’s etiquette. “Remember? In the group chat?”

“Oh, I remember. I just kind of generally assumed it was in New York. Since you do, you know, live there.”

Valencia pouts. “Come on, aren’t we hashtag gurlgroup4evah? Physical walls are meaningless. And I totally gave you a key to my place. You could do the same exact same thing to me and I wouldn’t mind.”

“That argument worked when you were in East Cameron, not East Coast. When am I ever gonna go to New York?”

“For me, obviously,” says Valencia. “Or for a Home Base conference, I guess.”

“They’re a West Coast chain.”

“So? Weren’t you planning on revolutionizing their corporate headquarters, or something?”

“I was, but that’s like, halfway through my five-year plan that I’m going to start next year.”

“Oh. Are you really not happy to see me?” asks Valencia, and she sounds just a tiny bit deflated, like she’s actually worried that that’s the case. Heather drops her magazine on the side table (occasionally, she marvels at how adulthood came upon her so fast—these have mermaid feet, irony unintended, that make her ridiculously happy).

“I’m happy to see you, Vee, can’t you tell?”

Valencia narrows her eyes. “Usually you’re happier.”

“You literally just walked in when I wasn’t expecting you for three weeks. Let me have a reaction time. And given your stance on Hector is lukewarm at best I’m still surprised to see you here.”

“I follow Hector on Instagram, and I happen to know that he has a surfing competition in Monterey this weekend,” says Valencia knowingly. “And I definitely know that you are always down for adventures, especially if there is just the right amount of drama.” Valencia wiggles her shoulders for emphasis.

Heather leans forward, studying her friend. There’s something surprisingly spiky and Rebecca-like about her energy –not out of whack, not in a bad way, but it’s there.

“Everything all right, Vee?” Heather asks. “You’re weirdly hyped up. Are you on a Guatemalan coffee kick again?”

“Please, you know I’m on a kombucha cleanse right now.”

“Kombucha can do all this?” Heather gestures up and down Valencia, like her “this” is the new “it” and she’s Clara Bow.

(Heather took a film class for like, three weeks in freshman year before she dropped it for being insanely pretentious.)

Annoyed, Valencia swats Heather’s hand away—all right, she’s not too far gone.

Valencia gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “No, it’s not the kombucha. It’s something way more important.”

There is a very meaningful pause; Heather waits, unsure whether it is done out of Valencia’s natural sense of making an entrance or for Heather’s benefit is a sincere question.

“I’m going to ask Beth to marry me.”

“Oh,” Heather blinks. “Wow.”

It’s not an unexpected announcement and given with Valencia’s usual careless confidence. But there is trepidation there, if one knows how to look for it.

“Does it seem weird? Tell me if it’s weird.”

“Uh, not weird, no,” says Heather carefully. “But given what happened a few months ago, I have to ask…”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking about it,” says Valencia irritably, waving a hand. “We’re on the same page. But I want it to be right, and I need help to make that happen.”

“Okay. And you’re asking me because…”

“Because Rebecca has a lot going on, and while I love the girl, I need someone who won’t let me get carried away with something way out of my budget.”

“That makes sense,” Heather agrees. “What about Paula?”

“She has that big case she’s presenting on Monday, and she doesn’t know Beth as well as you do.”

“True. That afternoon at the Korean spa means we’re bonded for life now, united by a great and terrible event.”

“You loved it. Didn’t you feel all nice and fresh?”

“Only because I had to grow a whole new layer of skin. I’m amazed Beth liked it; she was completely pink.”

“I mean, that happens if she steps out in the sun for five minutes without a hat,” says Valencia fondly. “But I’m not asking you to climb into a sauna, I’m asking you to help me propose to my girlfriend. Will you do it?”

“I mean, obviously. I’m a total romantic, so of course I’ll help.”

Valencia’s forehead wrinkles in a very pointed way. “You got married because of health insurance. I just need someone to tell me if I’m getting out of bounds with like, budget and expectations.”

“Wanting your partner to be healthy for the long run is very romantic.”

“Not enough to try to skip the actual wedding part,” grumbles Valencia.

“Who is asking who for help getting married, again?”

“Fair,” concedes Valencia grudgingly, though her smile undercuts some of her pretense. She kicks herself up and off the couch and gestures imperiously at Heather. “Now come on, we need to get going if we don’t want to be late.”

“Uh, we? Where?”

I have a vineyard in Temecula to make sure it is an ideal venue for my client, remember? We can multitask on the drive up.”

“Uh, now?”

“Why not?” With a flourish, Valencia pulls out a notebook that is already crammed full of post-its and other notes. “You can look at this on the way up. Plus, I can guarantee that we can ask to sample some of their viticultural offerings.”

“Well, when you put it like that.” Heather stands and stretches. “I did have a busy afternoon planned for contemplating my existence, but I’ll move for free wine.”

Valencia’s planner, much like her initial dream wedding plans, is elaborately and meticulously tabbed. Leafing through the pages, Heather briefly recognizes one of the strange commonalities between Valencia and Rebecca that reminds her that, as strange as the beginning of that friendship was, there’s a reason that their bond is as strong as it is. Valencia drives. It gives her a weird burst of fondness for them.

“You really thought these out,” says Heather, reading through a meticulous list of what it would take to plan a flash mob in Times Square with a reasonable budget.

“Right? I mean, I have ideas for days. It’s what I do—dolling up other people’s bad ideas and persuading them that mine are better. I can do this forever.”

“Great. So, why do you need me?”

Valencia’s fingers drum against the wheel of her rental car, clearly annoyed. “Because I’ve been striking out. Like, these are objectively great proposal ideas, right? But I can’t decide which one is actually, like, the best one.”

“I can see that,” says Heather, eyebrows shooting up when she turns a page and sees an elaborate plan for a hot air balloon proposal scribbled out with angry red marker. “What are you looking for, then?”

“Something that speaks to both of us. Like, as awesome as my spacing is for the choreo, I know that Beth wouldn’t want a flash mob in Times Square.”

“Yeah, that seems like a you thing. A pretty specific you thing.” Heather shoots her an inquiring look. “Did you?”

Valencia shifts uncomfortably. “There was a time where I might have mentioned it to Josh.”

“Wow.”

“Hey, Josh is terrible, but if he choreographed a dance proposal, it would have been amazing.”

“Can’t argue with that.” One of the pages just seems to be a froth of white lace paper surrounding a list of names at its center. Heather squints at the neat penmanship, idly wondering if she needs glasses or if Valencia’s handwriting is just really that small. “Is this a guest list?”

“No. I also really always wanted to do it at someone else’s wedding. Preferably Denise Martinez’s—”

“Valencia…”

“But that’s also not Beth’s style,” finishes Valencia slightly irritated. “Like I said, the proposal has to match both of us. I did learn from my mistakes, you know.”

“I’m not saying you didn’t,” says Heather mildly.

“And that list is out of date anyways. Denise got married last month and I hear that her and her new husband are already fighting.”

“Don’t sound so gleeful.”

“Sorry,” says Valencia almost contritely, merging off the highway. “We have a long history.”

“So I heard. We definitely need to unpack that some time.”

“Oh, this is perfect,” Valencia breathes, overlooking the gently rolling hills and the rows of twining grapevines.

“It’s pretty great,” Heather agrees, coming up besides her, hands tucked in her pockets. “It’s practically worth the sticker price.”

“Nothing’s worth the sticker price. I’ll get a better deal.”

“That winery owner guy seemed pretty stodgy.”

“I have my ways,” says Valencia enigmatically, which both impresses and concerns Heather in equal measures.

“I don’t doubt it.” There’s a pause as they survey the scenery together.

“Why wouldn’t you propose to Beth here?”

“Hm?” Valencia turns to look at Heather, the arch of her eyebrows more inquiring than sharp.

“You and Beth. I mean, this place makes a wicked rosé—”

“Since when do you use wicked? That’s an East Coast word.”

“’Cause it’s a great word? And I’m from Michigan, which is kind of East Coast.”

Valencia pulls a face.

Heather rolls her eyes in response. “Whatever. But seriously, this seems ideal. It has a view, it’s romantic—it’s everything you wanted. And you and Beth have family here, so you can have a big party after she says yes.”

“It has a lot,” agrees Valencia wistfully. Then she sighs. “But it won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Josh and I used to come here. Too many memories.”

“Oh.”

“Right? Josh just ruins everything.”

“Okay, it’s been three years, I think you can lay off of Josh.”

“Nah. I’ve dedicated too much time into it. I’m going to be doing this until after we’re both married. Speaking of Josh, you’ve met Rosa, right?”

“Yeah. I like her. I didn’t know that you met her—”

“Oh, yeah. Nice girl,” says Valencia, sounding vaguely surprised. Given Josh’s previous type, Heather can’t entirely blame her. Valencia continues, “But for whatever reason, they work well together. We had a long talk - I warned her about all of his flaws, and she said that she knows and she was positive she could handle it. Then she complimented my earrings.”

Heather has to smile at that. She is the least well-acquainted with Josh of their friends (though she’s probably seen him in far more intimate situations than most people ever have to see their friends), so her personal frustrations with him tended to be from far briefer interactions, over much more quickly. She’s glad to see that Josh seems settled in a way that he hasn’t been since she’s known him.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” admits Valencia, softening a little. “I am actually happy for him. But I have to keep up appearances - we were together way too long.”

“That’s fair.”

Once the vineyard has been approved (and Valencia has worn down the owner to her terms), they head back to Heather’s place, open a couple extra bottles of rosé and buckle down.

“Too much hassle,” says Valencia, X-ing out what seems to be a plan for a private yacht.

“Too showy,” agrees Heather, marking off a flashing billboard. She turns the page and squints at a picture of a dark room lit by hundreds of tiny flames.

“Isn’t Beth allergic to those candles?” she asks.

“They would be soy,” Valencia protests, but rather hastily reaches across the page to mark it out. “Still, you have a point.”

“That’s also a fire hazard, right there.”

“I’m not Rebecca,” says Valencia irritably.

“That’s still a lot of open flames. I’m just saying. Why not just go Big Fish and propose with a bunch of flowers?”

“I can’t. Beth’s allergic to flowers.”

Heather blinks.

“Seriously?”

Valencia shrugs. “Look, there’s a reason she hired me to do certain events that she couldn’t. She’s all about the hands-on activities. Pollen and natural phenomena - not so much.”

“Got it. So Big Fish is totally out?”

“Totally.”

Despite what Heather expected and the width and breadth of the notebook, they are burning through the ideas in the planner at an alarming rate. Valencia is clearly panicking too, if the two glasses of rosé are any indication.

“You know what would be great? The Met! Yeah, you could hide behind one of the exhibits to record, we’re surrounded by all this history, I’m sure they have something by Sappho in there, Beth loves her stuff—”

“Okay, just so we’re setting reasonable expectations or whatever, I can tell you right now that I am not going to New York just to help you propose,” Heather warns. “I have like, a household budget, and there’s only so much that I can dip into Hector’s accident fund and still have enough.”

Valencia lets out a little huff that indicates that while she respects Heather’s commitment to her budget, she continues to be less-than-impressed. It reminds Heather to text Hector and tell him that he might need to spend the night out with the guys—just because him and Valencia are no longer on murder terms doesn’t mean she can feel like she can guarantee his personal safety.

“Okay, fine. Skip to page sixty-eight.” At Heather’s disbelieving look, Valencia shrugs defensively. “What? A girl can dream in destinations.”

Heather does as she’s asked without further commentary. It’s not that Heather expected that helping Valencia plan a proposal would be simple. But Valencia knows her tastes—Heather was reasonably certain that her role would be as a yes woman and occasional financial wisdom rather than active decision making.

They aren’t using the couch or even the coffee table anymore—they’ve pulled off all of the cushions and have created a sort of nest on the floor.

“I can propose at a concert!” says Valencia, entirely too brightly.

Heather raises her head off one of the cushions. “You guys like going to concerts?”

“Not really? But everyone proposes at John Legend’s concerts, so it would work.”

“Beth likes John Legend?”

“Kind of? She doesn’t mind him but she loves Chrissy Teigen. And maybe we’d get some good karma from their marriage.”

“Not bad. You might also get drinks spilled on you,” Heather reminds her. “It could be sticky. Plus, other people might propose at same concert and steal your thunder.”

“Ugh, true. Plus, the scheduling doesn’t work out—he won’t be on tour for a good few months.”

Perhaps it is the tiredness, or remembering that she still needs to write up the shift schedules for next month, that prompts her to suggest, “Why not Home Base? I mean, you guys did agree to meet there. So, like, it’s sentimental.”

Valencia somehow looks affronted, disgusted and poorly hiding it, and despairing all at once. Heather would almost be impressed.

“I’ve been going to Home Base longer than you’ve been working there, Heather. I really don’t want to propose marriage at the bar where I used to pick up Elena from softball practice. It doesn’t feel right.”

Heather props herself up on her elbows so that she can look at Valencia properly. “Okay. What doesn’t feel right? It’s not going to be perfect.”

“I’m not going for perfect,” says Valencia irritably. “I gave Rebecca perfect, and look where that landed her. A perfect proposal would mean an island vacation, and dessert for Beth, and possibly sky writing. But it would also mean debt and she would so not be happy about that.”

“Great. Is that the only thing you’re worried about?”

Valencia’s hands twist against each other in her lap. Then they untangle and she dives into her purse and pulls out a small black box, which she sets on the table between them. Gone is her haughty event planner bravado, now Valencia just looks lost, more than Heather has ever seen her.

“This proposal has to feel right because I messed up the first time.”

“The first time?”

“The ultimatum,” says Valencia glumly. “I don’t want it to be too much—it needs to be something that Beth would love to accept. Something that proves that we know each other and can be a part of each other’s lives.”

“Can I see it?” At Valencia’s nod of permission, Heather reaches over and opens the box to look at the ring.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it? Moshe has a good collection. I’ve known this is the one for her for ages now. And…I want that feeling about how I propose. Does that make any sense?”

It does. Heather nods, waiting for Valencia to continue.

“It’s just…I made such a big deal about wanting to get married, and I want this proposal to show her that I know her, and it’s not all about me me me.”

“Of course.”

“That’s why I asked you. You might not be the biggest romantic of all of us, but you follow your gut about what feels right. And I want that confidence when I ask her.”

It’s both touching and terrifying to have that much faith in a person. Awkwardly, Heather pats Valencia’s shoulder. Valencia leans into the touch anyways, seeking whatever awkward comfort that Heather tries to give.

“You know, she’s going to love you whatever you do,” says Heather slowly. “And obviously, you know her well enough to know that these insanely awesome proposals are still awesome, just not right. We’ll find something better. And, like, I’m not gonna give up. You’re not going to leave California without a game plan.

Valencia gives her a tiny smile.

“Thank you, Heather,” she says. She looks ready to say more, but then there’s the sound of a very small gong being struck.

Valencia frowns, pulling her phone out of her pocket, scans the screen, and sighs. “I have to go. The client with the vineyard wants to meet now, of all times. I’m gonna go to her place, but when I get back, maybe we can just have a girls’ night in? No more proposal talk?”

“Sure, whatever you want. I can just duck out and like, get some more rosé. Just wines. Ablutions to drown our frustrations.”

Valencia smiles wanly and sees herself out. Heather waits until she’s sure that Valencia’s car has pulled away before hitting her speed dial. Heather is the coolest of her friends, even now that they are all responsible adults, and sometimes that means admitting that you are out of your depth.

Still, Heather isn’t lying when she says she needs to go pick up wines. She does.

At Il Cabino. Where Rebecca is waiting at a table for two, astonishingly early.

“You need to help me,” says Heather, not bothering with niceties. As frustrating as Rebecca’s flakiness can be, it is refreshing that she never gets insulted by Heather’s brusqueness.

“Oh, absolutely,” says Rebecca, eyes wide. “I know I haven’t been very good at that in the past, but like, right now I’m all ears.”

“Valencia is going nuts about proposing to Beth—”

Rebecca nods sympathetically. “Oh yeah, I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. She’s been texting me.”

Heather looks closely at Rebecca and only sees frank interest in the other woman’s gaze, no impression of jealousy or hurt. “Okay…so you know and you don’t feel left out?”

“She made it very clear that I’m not supposed to help, and given my past record for helping Valencia with anything, I figured the least I could do is let her do her thing,” says Rebecca with remarkable understatement. “Anyways, I’m actually crazy busy. My singing lessons are turning my brains to mush.”

“Hm, and I was hoping to hear that you were actually working your pretzel stand so we could swap tips as fellow businesswomen.”

“Nah, I just let AJ take care of it. His rent is less than a hundred bucks, he can manage.”

“Right. Enough about your life, back to my problems.”

“Shutting up now.” Rebecca mimes zipping her lips.

“Thank you. But Valencia is driving me insane with rejecting every single proposal idea I have. And, like, my ideas are good. I’m good at organizing events.”

“Right. You guys are crazy good at that.”

“I suggested Home Base, kind of as a joke, and she nearly bit my head off.”

“I mean, Home Base is not super romantic. I had enough sex in the back room there enough to know.”

“What a coincidence, so did I,” says Heather dryly. “Which means I probably should pay for an extremely thorough cleaning, but that’s besides the point. If Valencia isn’t feeling it, it’s not going work. So I figured, I’ve been striking out, I might as well ask our local romance expert for tips.”

“Aww,” coos Rebecca, placing her hand on her heart. Then her expression shifts from soppy to self-deprecatingly wry. “You guys must really be in a tight spot.”

“Yep. So…what do you have for me?”

Rebecca looks thoughtful, not unfocused like when she goes in her head or is too absorbed in her problems.

“I mean, Beth isn’t a total romantic, but she likes to make things meaningful,” says Rebecca after a pause. “She wouldn’t be in these kinds of events if she didn’t. Maybe for Valencia, she’s asking Beth to spend the rest of their lives together. Ask her about if there’s any specific moment when she knew that she wanted Beth to be in her life forever. Like, I know you are big on how there isn’t one moment of magical epiphany and I totally agree, for the record—but she made the decision that it was gonna be Beth at some point. Maybe asking when and where would give her a few new ideas.”

It's an almost stupefying simple idea. Heather nods slowly. “Right. Like, what do they do together that makes Valencia want to spend every day doing the same thing?”

“Exactly. Like, it’s just about finding resonance, right? Something that reaffirms how they feel, but not in an artificial or contrived way. Just love.”

“Right,” says Heather, starting to smile. “Thanks, Rebecca. That helps a lot.”

Rebecca beams. “Any time. And uh, not to be mercenary or anything, but since I gave good advice, does that mean you can pick up the tab? Music lessons have really tightened up my budget and you did offer to take me out to happy hour, so.”

“You’ve been gone a while.”

There’s a faintly accusatory tone to Valencia’s words when Heather gets back. She’s already sprawled over the couch, reading the magazine that Heather dropped earlier that morning.

“And yet, you still let yourself into my house. How was the meeting?”

“Okay. Honestly, it’s a good thing I’m in a personal crisis right now or I would have never agreed to do their wedding. Ugh, what annoying people. But, I promised, no more wedding talk. Tell me what’s been going on at Home Base. Don’t spare any details—I know you love that drama.”

“I do love drama. But before we get into that, I think I have one more suggestion that might help you with the whole proposal situation. Just one.”

“Okay?”

“I’m not a traditionally romantic person. You know this.”

“I do.”

“And I married Hector when I did because he really needed the health insurance. But I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him before that. He makes me laugh. He makes things light in my life. Even when he does something stupid like almost lose his toe.”

“That’s…surprisingly sweet, Heather.”

“Don’t say it’s wasted on Hector,” Heather warns.

“I’m not, but trust me, it’s hard.”

“Good. But that was a very roundabout, Rebecca-like way of asking: maybe think about when you decided you wanted to marry Beth?”

Valencia exhales noisily, slumping back against the sofa arm. “I’m almost never not thinking about it. When we’re at work together, when we’re talking, whenever I see her when I wake up in the morning with all of the light in her hair—” Valencia abruptly stops speaking, eyes wide.

Heather takes the opening.

“So there is a moment?”

“Yes.”

“In the morning?”

“Yes!”

“So you’re basically saying that she’s your sunshine?”

Valencia is too excited to be annoyed by Heather’s teasing. “Yes, exactly. She’s my sunshine! Which believe me, was sometimes the only thing that got me through this winter. It was cold.”

“I’ll bet,” agrees Heather. “New York isn’t exactly balmy.”

“Yeah, yeah. No, this is perfect.”

“So you know what you’re going to do?”

“Uh huh.”

“Are you going to tell me? Where will this event take place?”

“Our apartment. That’s our home now. It’s a shoebox and extremely uncomfortable, but it’s also ours. And mine. And that’s the first time I ever had something like that.”

Valencia actually sounds giddy.

“What do you think?” she appeals to Heather.

“That sounds just like both of you.”

“I think so.” Valencia looks conflicted. “But I want to share it with you guys too. Like, I want a little fun, otherwise I’ll just start crying and in the sloppy way, not the movie-style pretty way.”

“Again, I can’t go to New York. Paula’s too busy and Rebecca is equally broke.”

Valencia’s eyes sparkle. “Okay, but what is the best way to visit New York without visiting New York?”

Heather has an inkling of where this is going.

“You’re going to livestream your proposal?”

“Of course not. I’m going to livestream after she says yes.”

“Oooh boy.”

Valencia flutters a hand. “I think she’ll be fine as long as the actual moment itself is private. She’s not like me—she doesn’t want to get a proposal in front of people. So…you think it’s good?”

“It’s perfect. Out of curiosity, why did you want to be proposed to in front of people?”

“I mean, it used to be a social-capital type of thing, but honestly, I don’t want all of West Covina there. I would want you guys, and my family to share the moment. Cause you love us, you love Beth…and it’s still nice to be the center of attention once in a while. But that’s me, not Beth. Now, enough proposal talk. Let’s crack these wine babies open.”

Heather nods, a little distracted, a new idea forming in her head.

“The drone was a nice touch,” Paula observes as the three of them crowd around Heather’s laptop in her kitchen a few weeks later.

“Not mine. That was all Valencia.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe Valencia’s engaged!” Rebecca’s squeal is exactly what Valencia seems to want, she just beams all the brighter. From within the camera, Beth seems amusedly resigned, leaning her head on Valencia’s shoulder, admiring the ring.

“Well, since you have your girls on the line…” says Beth, and Heather smirks, the only woman of the lot of them who knows what’s coming, as Beth disappears out of their sight line, and emerges with a small velvet black box of her own.

“Oh my god!” Valencia’s squawk has all three of them jerking away from the laptop, but the general cacophony from Paula and Rebecca more than make up for it.

“A double proposal!” Rebecca’s grin is so wide that Heather’s own face aches in sympathy.

“Valencia, Valencia stop shaking me, I have a whole speech prepared, and I know it’s not a flash mob in Times Square—”

“I don’t care!” Valencia shrieks. “How did you—when—”

Beth laughs, giddy with adrenaline.

“Thank Heather,” she says, her voice clear even over the faint buzzing of the drone. “I called her for advice, and she didn’t give me any details, but she did say that if I wanted to propose, I might want to consider keeping the ring in the apartment. Preferably under the bed.”

“Heather!!” Valencia glares at her across the country, mascara running, but the smile on her face is impossible to repress.

“Told you I’m romantic,” says Heather mildly, but still smiling, pleased.

“I know,” says Valencia. “Thank you.”

She turns back to Beth. “But I thought you wanted a private proposal. Everyone’s watching us right now—”

“I did, and I’m glad I got one. But you’re not me. Valencia, you are a sun, and you draw all of us in your orbit—”

There is more, but Heather can barely hear any of it, between the screamlets coming out of the laptop and the shrieks echoing around Rebecca’s kitchen. Rebecca is punching Heather’s arm and saying something about she knew Heather was secretly a romantic at heart, she just knew it, and Paula is looking misty again, but Heather only has eyes for the two women on the other side of the screen, wearing rings and embracing so tightly it’s like the drone isn’t there at all.

What? She said she’s a romantic.

#crazy ex girlfriend #beth x valencia #heather davis #valencia perez #beth #crazyexvalentine #ellie writes fic #this was a lot of fun

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annemarieyeretzian · 5 years

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valencia proposed to beth!!!

#get it girl!!!#annemarie watches crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex-girlfriend #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex gf #ceg #cxg #valencia perez #valencia #beth #valencia x beth #beth x valencia #4x17

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clevercloudpoetry · 6 years

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#i'm valencia #valencia #valencia perez #beth #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex gf #crazy ex girlfriend spoilers #myedits #mygifs #beth x valencia #valencia x beth

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kendrysaneela · 6 years

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I really hope they give us some sort of backstory to how Valencia and Beth started dating cause honestly as much as I like how casually they handled their relationship reveal and I like how Beth is making Valencia a better person and I like Valencia’s character development I’m annoyed we didnt get to see how they got to this point and haven’t gotten to see how this relationship occurred or gotten any backstory on how this relationship occurred there’s just so much storyline missing.

#crazy ex girlfriend #valencia perez #beth x valencia #valencia x beth #bethlencia

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rachel-bloom · 4 years

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make me choose: heather/hector or valencia/beth

Well, I really like Hector, and our names definitely go well together. Our couple name is Heactor, like Hector but with an extra A.

#crazyexedit #crazy ex girlfriend #heather x hector #heather davis #hector #mine #sigh valencia/beth could've had so much potential #but they didn't give a shit about beth for one second #anyways i actually kind of like this set

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smalllittleplaceinmyheart · 3 years

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I really like Valencia and Beth. Beth is pretty wholesome

#crazy ex girlfriend #valencia x beth

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catty-words · 4 years

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crazyexedits · 5 years

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#crazyexedit #crazy ex girlfriend #valencia perez #beth #emma willmann #valencia x beth #4x15 #*#1000

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whistlewhileiblogit · 4 years

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Unpopular opinion: Beth is the WORST character in Crazy Ex Girlfriend. Not because she is particularly awful or anything, but because we know next to NOTHING about her. And her relationship with Valencia managed to drag Valencia down too.

Valencia's relationship with her had zero development from beginning to end, and rewatching the series again recently only further cemented that.

We don't even know Beth's surname, her interests, her sexuality (is she lesbian? Bi?? Pan?? Also Valencia didn't even get a proper say as to whether she was bi, pan, etc either), basically WHO is she??

The saddest thing about it is that Valencia being into all genders makes perfect sense. She has always had great chemistry with the other women on the show, especially with Rebecca. But I don't feel that with Beth, largely due to the massive time skip (which I personally think was a big mistake to do), but also due to the fact that she really just...doesn't have a personality outside of smiling and being vaguely friendly.

The show focused on telling rather than showing with their relationship, and Beth's character. We get told that Beth finds Valencia funny, instead of having her just laugh. We get told by other characters "oh I like you!" to Beth, for no other reason than the show WANTS us to like her. But why should we? She is shoved in awkwardly, not given any time to develop or even played as a fun character, but very lowkey.

I love Crazy Ex, but the way of handling Valencia's relationship with Beth was the WORST thing they did.

#crazy ex girlfriend #valencia x beth #ceg #ceg beth #beth dontknowyoursurname #valencia perez

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anthropologicalhands · 5 years

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ceg fic: sunlight and salutations

title: sunlight and salutations pairing: beth/valencia summary: valencia loves a girl who laughs. notes: this was supposed to be a more structured fic, but then it turned into more of a valencia’s feelings fic instead. Ao3 link

Valencia has always been an early riser. She loves the pale sunlight, the quiet that stretches across the streets of West Covina, after the garbage trucks have trundled past and before the hum of the daily commute starts to build.

Each morning, she wakes before her alarm even has a chance to ring, and heads straight to her yoga room. Before breakfast, before checking her phone. Life is in stasis until she has finished her asanas.

Yoga may have started as a way to keep herself fit, as part of her easy-breezy, effortlessly hot and fit girl image, but Valencia has always liked the practice for herself. It gives her time to unravel the knots in her back and in her mind, before the day properly arrives and she needs to put herself together again.

By the time the sun is fully in the sky, she’s ready to work.

Today, she has a new client. The client’s name is Beth, she lives a couple towns over from West Covina, and the meeting is at Home Base during Heather’s newly-instated happy hour. Valencia gets there early, portfolio in hand, stomach fluttering. Beth is one of the first clients to reach out directly, not just a friend-of-a-friend or another contact within six degrees of separation. And that’s nice, that’s good. She thinks Valencia is a good choice to solve her problem. Valencia is about to become known as a problem-solver, not just a hot girl. Not just a cool girl. She will be a normal-temperature event planner who makes dreams come true and builds up a fanatically loyal clientele.

Valencia is waiting at their table, hands folded, and spots Beth almost as soon as she walks through the door. It helps that Beth breaks into a smile as soon as her eyes settle on Valencia. Valencia immediately likes the look of her.

It doesn’t hurt, though, when Beth laughs—actually laughs—at her jokes and calls her funny.

No one has ever called Valencia funny before.

It becomes a game, to see how quickly she can make Beth laugh.

Beth is bright and wry and pretty much always in a good mood; making her laugh isn’t exactly the most difficult thing in the world but Valencia loves it. She easily becomes one of Valencia’s favorite clients, because she always knows what she’s going to get with Beth’s events, and that’s why her heart always soars when she sees a new message, coming through her inbox or blinking on voicemail or popping up on Facebook or sending restaurant recommendations through OpenTable.

Beth’s smart too, so she catches on quickly to Valencia’s game. She finds other ways to get Valencia’s attention; instead of heading straight for her table, she’ll approach from just outside of Valencia’s line of sight. Her favorite strategy is to sneak up behind Valencia and clap her hands across her shoulders, leaning forward until the wisps of her pale hair are in Valencia’s peripheral vision. Valencia can usually catch the scent of her perfume before she does, and she has gotten accustomed to listening for the familiar clicks of Beth’s shoes, but she lets her do it anyways.

Sure, it’s totally dorky, but her and Beth totally count as friends at this point, so that doesn’t bother Valencia as much as it might have once.

Sometimes in the mornings, stretching up her chin as she arcs her spine through cobra pose, Valencia imagines being an instructor again. Beth is wiry and her energy comes in bursts—more suited for pilates than yoga. But she had said before that she would be open to having Valencia teach her, to show Beth how to stretch out her neck and loosen those knots she gets in her back and shoulders; even with Beth’s easygoing nature, Valencia knows how those minor stresses can add up.

They haven’t made any concrete plans—it’s more of a passing notion than anything else and one that Valencia finds slightly perplexing for its persistence. Valencia is not generally a woman given to impulse. She likes to think things through: to make plans and implement them in a timely manner. It’s a quality that’s gotten her trouble more than once, when she wedded herself so thoroughly to one particular vision of her future that it nearly happened.

But even Valencia is not immune to the occasional drifting thought.

She thinks about how Beth would be more than capable. Perhaps not as flexible, and probably pulling faces as she moves through the stances, but capable, certainly. She would probably laugh as she tries to fold herself into the proper poses, and tease Valencia every time she adjusts Beth’s stance.

“C’mon, teach,” Beth would say, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “I’m doing it. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna split in two.”

And Valencia would laugh, but would still keep a sharp eye out, because Beth could be the kind of novice who overextends, either by pushing out her lunge too far or losing her balance while bring her hands over her head in tree pose, and Valencia would have to help her keep her center by placing her hands on her waist and—

Hm. The twinge low in her gut and giddy in her head at the image is pleasant, and not unfamiliar, exactly, but it’s been a while since she’s felt it.

Unfortunately, it’s also very distracting. Valencia sticks out her practice through all twelve rounds but finds no release and resolves to take an extra-hot shower to make up for it.

Not all clients are as good as Beth.

It’s been a long day, trying to be patient with a bride-to-be who has champagne taste with an apple cider budget and refuses to take any of Valencia’s recommendations seriously. Valencia can actually feel her body reacting sluggishly, rather than being ready to go at a moment’s notice. Luckily, she is able to go home and freshen up before her last meeting of the day, and as soon as she and Beth are done, she’s driving over to Heather and Rebecca’s murder house for some much-needed gurlgroup4evah time, with gossip and Rebecca’s obscure references and rosé. After the day she’s had, Valencia wants all of it and she wants it now.

Maybe that’s why she doesn’t realize that Beth arrived until she speaks to her directly.

“Wow, Valencia, you look really nice,” she says, and when Valencia jumps in her seat and looks up she catches Beth staring with her head tilted to the side, eyebrows slightly raised. She drops her eyes as soon as Valencia meets them, and Valencia can feel heat rises at the back of her neck, and she adjusts the neckline of her wine-colored blouse.

“Oh?” Valencia clears her throat, embarrassed by having missed her usual cues. “Thank you, but it’s nothing. I’m meeting with the girls after we’re done here, and I just wanted to not look like I went two rounds with Malia-the-Malignant.”

Beth winces sympathetically. “Hard day, huh?”

Valencia shrugs nonchalantly. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Yeah, I know,” says Beth easily, hanging her purse across the chair’s back before sliding into her seat. “You still look really nice.”

Something about the gentle firmness of Beth’s delivery makes Valencia’s toes curl and her muscles tighten briefly, and suddenly the sluggishness is gone and it feels like there are springs coiled up in every limb and she can bounce around the room like Tigger.

But bouncing around like Tigger would be deeply unprofessional, so she says thank you again and pushes the venue list to the middle of the table for Beth’s approval and pretends to ignore the way the late afternoon light makes Beth’s hair glow.

There is a long stretch of weeks where Beth doesn’t have any new events for Valencia and has been too busy to come into West Covina. It’s not a disaster: while Valencia isn’t exactly swimming in clients she is starting to get booked on a steady basis, and therefore she has other things she can do.

But still. She misses planning for Beth. After all, Beth is one of her best clients. It’s fun planning stuff with Beth. It’s fun talking about things that are not planning stuff with Beth.

Beth is in her head nearly every morning, these days.

So, Valencia makes a decision.

She sends Beth a message: hey, it’s been a while, want to get dinner?

It makes sense, after getting used to spending so much time together, to miss her.

She books one of the nicer restaurants, one that deploys candlelight in a way that Valencia knows is advantageous to her skin. Makes sense to dress up, wear a black-off-the-shoulder top with burgundy slacks and sleek heels.

She fusses outside the restaurant, wanting to appear relaxed, to lean against the concrete wall instead of being surprised on the bench, torn between pretending to fiddle with her phone or to keep looking around expectantly, as if she only just got there. The anticipation is like bubble wrap under her feet—sure, it keeps her buoyant now, but one wrong move and there’s going to be a very embarrassing noise.

She sees Beth’s car pull into the restaurant parking lot, and then Beth herself appears soon after. She’s dressed up as well – her black jeans are a little more casual, but her shirt is turquoise and silken and is both something that Beth would absolutely wear and something Valencia has never seen her wear before.

When she catches sight of Valencia, she smiles again, and Valencia’s whole stomach turns over in response.

“Hope I didn’t overdress,” she says, smiling, approaching Valencia and giving her a hug. Valencia returns it, lost for words.

She finds them later, over dinner, as she decides that maybe she wants a different kind of relationship, and that she wants to make more room for this warmth in her life.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Beth says during their first morning together, awake before Valencia, chin resting on her hand. Valencia fumbles for the alarm clock and groans at the time, before rolling over to poke Beth in retaliation for waking her when the sky is still dark. Beth squirms back in a brief but valiant effort to evade her, only to succumb to her own laughter.

When Beth laughs, her whole face lights up, and it’s impossible to look away, to not be delighted by the fine creases that fan delicately from the corners of her eyes and the way her mouth curves upwards. Each time Valencia sees it, and knows herself to be the cause of it, the world becomes so much warmer and brighter and lighter.

It’s a good way to start the day.

#crazy ex girlfriend #beth x valencia #valencia perez #beth #ellie writes fic #i enjoy their dynamic muchly

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annemarieyeretzian · 5 years

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beth and valencia are so cute

#annemarie watches crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex-girlfriend #crazy ex girlfriend #crazy ex gf #ceg #cxg #valencia perez #valencia #beth #valencia x beth #beth x valencia #4x07

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notbang · 5 years

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Hi! Just wanted to rant a bit about how disappointed I am in Valencia's character this season... She is my absolute fave and I absolutely loved her character growth but in a couple of episodes she went from commentary on how compulsory heterosexuality pushes women to stay in obviously bad relationships because in theory they perfectly match their partner to "she could've been happy but missed her shot, oops" which takes away a big chunk of her complexity and retroactively weakens the whole (1/3)

of season 1, and now she wants Beth to propose or she will symbolically break up?? Like that worked with Josh because the relationship was sinking and marriage would have been the glue to hold it together + traditional gender roles but with Beth it feels so out of place! They have a healthy mutually respecting and loving relationship, they just moved in together, why is V so obsessed about marriage? (2/3)

(And what the hell she literally threw away a bouquet last season did that mean nothing?) Plus she still expects her partner to make the first move and was oblivious to that awful Pirate King song, it’s like she suddenly reverted back to season 1 (which I know the episode was aiming for but still, Rebecca wasn’t dumbed down…) Seems like a bad excuse to break V and Beth up over literally no reason, I’m really mad that this is happening. If you don’t mind, what’s your opinion on that? (3/3)

hi! there are plenty of others that could speak far more eloquently on this topic than i, but here’s my lukewarm take.

unfortunately most of the commentary valencia’s arc provides on comp het seems to have been unintentional (or in the very least, purely incidental). i think they accidentally wrote a repressed wlw character that their fanbase connected with in ways they weren’t expecting and that they had zero idea what to do with her, which is commentary itself on how what is considered a diverse writing room by many standards can still be entirely lacking. i don’t think they actually understand how much they’ve undercut a really lovely arc, because it’s not an arc they intentionally set out to write.

i’m not even going to touch on the father brah storyline, because… ugh.

i would, however, argue that the set up for a valencia/beth conflict is not necessarily for ‘literally no reason’ - valencia and beth have been together… what? six months? maybe closer to a year? like, they’re out of range for the u-haul joke i guess but the relationship is still relatively new. and let us also consider that valencia and beth moved to new york together but valencia has apparently come back to town for a period of time that encompasses roughly 2-3 months?? it’s kind of a confusing mess, but the urgency valencia is feeling for formal commitment does make a certain kind of sense when you take into consideration that she and josh were together for fifteen years and only moved in together - with an engagement only then becoming close to an actuality for them - right at the end of that significant period of time. literally more than half her life was devoted to desperately clinging to that specific picture of a perfect happy ending and having it held frustratingly out of her reach, only for josh to offer it up to rebecca almost immediately in comparison.

the fact that valencia so desperately wants to be proposed to instead of, say, entertaining the possibility that she herself could propose to beth begs the question as to why the idea of being a bride (even one enmeshed in a terribly misogynistic song!) is still so important to her, which is absolutely an opportunity to re-examine the harmful effects comp het/patriarchal love narratives have had on her self worth. aside from marriage still being deeply intrinsic to her idea of a happy ending (because like… her preoccupation with pinning down josh as a life purpose kinda just shifted into her becoming a wedding/party planner, which isn’t so much a rejection of those ideals as it is a reframing - her career choice is now essentially built on performative happiness!!), i’d posit that a large part of it is valencia needing this very specific proof that she is being appropriately valued - that she’s not going to be waiting around again, giving herself over to the possibility of letting someone waste her time. it’s a relapse/regression/revisiting of an old wound that certainly invites character development, and i’m reserving judgment on it because it’s clearly a thread that’s going to be picked up again in the next episode, but the handling of valencia’s arc up until this point hasn’t exactly instilled me with the greatest of confidence.

this storyline could very easily go either way - their relationship dissolves, which helps dismantle the weird ‘look at how conveniently and perfectly my life has fallen into place’ feeling they’ve kind of used to dismiss both valencia and heather this season, or, in what could play into a nice parallel to rebecca’s own ongoing journey in self discovery, valencia comes to grips with the fact that she can rewrite her personal narrative, and they move forward with renewed perspective. whether or not either of those options plays out in a satisfying manner is a completely seperate issue.

what’s frustrating is that beth is so expendable to the story that her role almost doesn’t matter. valencia’s arc itself has come to lack depth and beth as a direct result is basically null and void, which makes the insistence that valencia is simply ‘beth-sexual’ even more laughable. i find her a pleasant enough character but let’s be honest she barely qualifies as one - her sole trait seems to be that she’s agreeable (something that was hilariously encapsulated in her ridiculously cheerful response to realising valencia was mad in this episode). i want to be invested in their relationship but i have to admit i struggle. if i’m completely honest at this point i’m more concerned that valencia and beth breaking up is part of a move to bring all of the characters back home to the nest to kick rebecca out of it as a way of saying her work in west covina is done, because, well. that would make me sad.

#crazy ex girlfriend #valencia perez #valencia x beth #as we go on there's so many aspects of the narrative that i've considered brilliant #that have just been dropped or played out in the most disappointing of ways #leading me to believe they were more happy accidents than anything #don't get me wrong i love the show with all my heart #but at the end of the day it's nowhere near as progressive or as woke as it thinks it is #or could have very easily been #tar-erendis #replies

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kendrysaneela · 6 years

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BETH IS MAKING VALENCIA A BETTER PERSON AND IM IN TEARS

#crazy ex girlfriend #valencia perez #beth #bethlencia #valencia x beth #beth x valencia

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quarterfromcanon · 5 years

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How Long Do You Plan to Keep Me at the Back of Your Mind?

Heather & Valencia - Femslash February - Day 21 - Basic [2,442 words]

“Hello, ladies, and welcome to the trial run of Hallmark & Hummus.” Rebecca splayed her fingers. She waggled them as if the name were appearing in lights. “On this very special evening, we will be enjoying some unarguably bland dip only made interesting with other foods. Whatever film is selected by our vote will be much the same: devoid of flavor until the added ingredients -- us, in this case, the added ingredients are us -- come along to spice things up.”

Valencia offered a strained but well-intentioned smile. She turned to the right and consulted with Heather. “Translation, please?”

Heather’s beleaguered sigh preceded the reply. “She wants to watch sappy made-for-TV movies and eat tortilla chips while we talk about them.”

“Ohhhhh,” the rest of the group chorused.

“I wanna take this opportunity to just apologize to everyone,” Heather told them, ignoring Rebecca’s background indignation. “The theme tonight is my fault and I am already so sorry.”

“How’d that happen?” Paula draped her arms over the sides of her chair.

“We were kicking around viewing options for Girls’ Night earlier this week and everything totally snowballed outta control. I was trying to steer her away from them by pointing out that they’re usually a little boring and unoriginal... which, like, ‘a little’ was being generous, honestly... and she just really latched onto the metaphor.” Heather folded her arms and shot Rebecca a ‘Why are you like this?’ look.

Rebecca tried to mirror the stance but ultimately just stuck out her tongue. “I still think we can make it fun. Plus, your cleverness sparked the creative spin! You should be owning this with pride! You were my muse.”

Heather wrinkled her nose. “I accept full responsibility for the apt comparison but not its application.”

“Compromise met.” Rebecca clapped her hands into a clasp. “Now, before we get into any of that, the first order of business is to greet our special guest. Thank you for joining us tonight, Beth. Welcome.”

Beth was clearly not expecting an individual shout-out like that. Still, she leaned forward to acknowledge them all with a salutatory wave before settling back against the couch. “Thanks for inviting me.”

Heather readjusted on her respective cushion. She pulled one leg up to her chest and locked both arms around the kneecap.

“Okay, so, drinks are in the fridge,” Rebecca continued the hostess explanations. “There’s wine, juice, water, beer, et cetera. I originally floated the idea that we take shots of Hennessy for every glaring instance of sexism to keep going with our letter ‘H,’ but Heather did actually talk me out of that one because we would all die of alcohol poisoning.”

She gathered a tall stack of borrowed cases in her arms, each labeled with a barcode from the local library. “I grabbed all the ones I could find. Their collection was unexpectedly extensive, so let’s see if we can start the process of elimination.”

“Nothing with a cover that looks like pretty white characters are gonna fall in love or die at Christmastime,” Heather declared.

Rebecca pouted and removed six boxes from the tower. “That’s practically their entire yuletide catalog - heh, yule log, that was unintentional - but fair enough. It does whittle the options down by a significant margin.”

“No movies with sequels,” Valencia suggested. “The last thing we need is to get stuck with these people for more than one.”

“And none with punny titles,” Paula added.

“Why not?” Rebecca countered.

“Check how many that eliminates and you’ll see.” Paula assembled a plate while she waited.

“Oh wow, you guys are going after their whole brand,” Rebecca muttered as she continued to weed out entertainment that matched the criteria. “Hallmark came out to have a good time and is honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“What does that leave?” Beth peered at the titles one by one when they passed through her acquaintance’s hands.

Rebecca held up a single DVD. “Something called The Love Letter.”

“Hang on a sec.” Valencia’s brow furrowed. “Can I see that?”

Rebecca passed her the box. Valencia tapped the name in the bottom corner. “I knew it! That’s Jennifer Jason Leigh.”

Beth chuckled. She rubbed her palm along her girlfriend’s spine.

Valencia peeked to the left self-consciously. “What?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s cute you followed the career of an actress with a big gay fan following before you even figured things out.” Beth kissed Valencia on the cheek.

Rebecca joined in the affectionate laughter. “Adorably oblivious.”

Heather popped the lid off her beer and drank.

Paula tucked a diced piece of pepper into the side of her mouth and lifted her own bottle. “Let’s get this party started.”

She tapped the alcohol against her friend’s serving. Just for a moment, Heather thought she saw a flicker of sympathy in Paula’s eyes.

They all settled more comfortably while Rebecca turned out a couple of the lights and readied the selection. Rebecca stretched across the chaise lounge. She pointed the remote control toward the censor. “Drum roll... play!”

Within the first sixty seconds, a store owner made a comment about women dragging their boyfriends into the building to look at a white dress in the window. Valencia and Rebecca automatically flipped their middle fingers at the screen.

“Damn,” Valencia commented just shy of the seven minute mark. “She likes some imaginary pen pal better than the guy who just proposed to her. Are we sure she’s not a closeted lesbian in this, too? Fixating on an unrealistic man-of-her-dreams seems like a handy excuse.”

“You would know,” Paula teased with a smirk. She sipped more of her drink.

Valencia arched an eyebrow but inclined her head. “Touché.”

“Ooo, it’s near Salem!” Rebecca enthused. “Witches?” She waggled her eyebrows.

“Dude, again, late ’90s Hallmark,” Heather reminded her. “They aren’t gonna throw us a lot of surprises. Also, wrong time period.”

“If Hocus Pocus taught us nothing else, it’s that they don’t have to be bound to their own era. Spooky shit happens,” Rebecca reasoned.

Heather shook her head and laughed quietly.

The female lead was finally introduced. Valencia and Beth exchanged knowing glances when her first onscreen act was writing a poem for a flower consistently referred to with “she” and “her” pronouns. ‘Gay,’ they both mouthed.

Half an hour into the run time, Beth whispered, “So, is this basically The Lake House with a more cockblocking year gap?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Heather confirmed. “This one’s just eight years older.”

“Good to know.” Beth smiled with genuine appreciation for the trivia.

Heather felt a twist of guilt that her first internal response was ‘ugh.’ Then the story randomly included a scene involving kitchen spices and she choked on a scoop of hummus.

“Are you okay?” Valencia murmured.

“Yeah, just went down the wrong way,” Heather managed to reply.

A strange reaction crossed Valencia’s features but she periodically hovered a concerned hand over her friend’s back until ten minutes later.

“It must be true love if you get turned on by air touches, amirite?” Rebecca joked. Heather and Valencia froze before they realized she spoke in reference to the film. They scooted to opposite ends of their couch space.

Beth’s fingers interwove with Valencia’s when the movie’s ill-treated fiancée got to confront her betrothed’s emotional infidelity. Heather’s eyes found the ceiling as she tried not to notice.

The end credits rolled. Rebecca wiped away a few tears. She tucked both legs beneath her body as she faced the other women in the room. “So, what did you guys think?”

“I really liked that checkered dress. Oh, and the giant cloak when she left for Gettysburg!” Paula stayed seated but pantomimed donning the aforementioned clothing while sweeping away in a hurry. “I mean, c’mon, can you really call it a dramatic exit without some kind of cape to swish behind you? It’s the only way to go.”

“Right? So pretty. So stylish. And when they got into the rowboat and she read her poetry to him?” Rebecca pouted and held her hands over her heart. “I loved that.”

“He was kind of an asshole, though,” Valencia concluded. “Waffling between them both like they were equally viable options. Pick a path and stick to it. And for the love of God, invest in wax or a razor.”

“That’s a justifiable point,” Rebecca acknowledged. “I’m a big advocate of a person having as much or as little body hair as they see fit so, you know, more power to him. But, practically speaking, that stuff is gonna scratch your tits to hell when you’re pounding it out together. R.I.P. reincarnated lady’s boobs.”

Heather and Paula concurred with empathetic nods.

“I’m not super into the reincarnation angle itself, though,” Heather decided. “They had a few set traits because of the whole same-internal-essence thing, but Caleb and Scotty were still different guys living different lives, y’know?”

“They did each have their own vibe,” Paula concurred. “The two were very similar but not identical. Close, but no cigar.”

“Exactly! And I think they knew people weren’t gonna be as into modern JJL after ninety minutes with Civil War her. That’s why her name went from Elizabeth to Beth so it’s like, ‘Oh, don’t worry. It’s cool for us to just end the movie now because she’s literally the same,’ but she’s not. She wasn’t there for any of it. Beth doesn’t share all the history and she doesn’t know everything that happened before she came into the picture. It’s like, dude, she’s a separate person and eventually you’re gonna have to explain everything. I guess go ahead and get attached to someone who’s superficially a match, but it doesn’t make her your soulmate.”

Heather finished her rant and stared down at the empty bottle in her hands. She could feel Valencia tense beside her but neither risked eye contact.

Heavy fabric pelted against the top of Heather’s head and fell to the floor.

“What the...”

She looked up to realize Rebecca had chucked a throw pillow at her.

“Start believing in romance, you cynic! Stop deflating love bubbles with your logic!” Rebecca reached for another to lob, but Heather held her hands aloft.

“Yeah, there’s an open container of salsa literally two feet away from me, so I’m thinking we should call for an armistice.” Heather forced her expression into a semblance of contrition. “No more mood-killing. But also no more furniture attacks. Deal?”

“I can agree to those terms.” Rebecca let the second pillow fall from her grip.

“Cool. I’m gonna go use the bathroom before we start whatever’s next.”

Heather departed for that location and locked the door. She splashed water on her face and met her own gaze in the mirror’s reflection. “You are acting like such a jealous douche,” Heather reprimanded herself in a low voice. “That may be the literal brand you represent, but it’s not who you are as a person. Cut the crap.”

She towel-dried her skin and sighed. Somehow, she had to come to terms with the chasm between where she used to think her life would be at this point and where things were actually headed. It wasn’t fair to Valencia to keep letting an undercurrent of bitterness guide the course of their interactions. Then there was Beth, genial and charming, who had done absolutely nothing to earn a cold shoulder. Heather frequently hashed and rehashed it all out in her mind, and she knew Beth had proven herself to be an exemplary first girlfriend. Whether the process of doing so was easy or not, she had to step aside. After all, Valencia wasn’t the only one in a new relationship. Heather had someone, too. Hector... No, she couldn’t tackle her feelings about him right now. The main thing to focus on was turning over a new leaf, and she intended to do so once she rejoined the others.

Heather left the bathroom, pivoted out of habit toward the living room, and almost ran right into Beth. She pulled to an abrupt stop. “Sorry. All yours.”

Beth hooked her thumbs in her belt loops. “Thanks. Hey, I don’t now if it’s a breach of that treaty you and Rebecca have going to tell you this, but you made a pretty solid point earlier.” She cast a covert glance at the rest of the group, playfully following along with the faux tension as well as the subsequent peace. “What makes a person isn’t just what they’re starting with, but how they’re affected by things, and what they do in response to that. Like you said, it’s from their ’90s collection, and I don’t know if they were really encouraging us to look that deep, but still.” She shrugged. “V told me you’re good at reading people, and she was right.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Heather nearly crossed her arms, but instead she slipped her palms into the pockets of her vest. “I may need to call on you for backup in the event of another pro-tearjerker uprising, so, be ready with a strong argument. Rebecca loves a debate.”

Beth laughed. “You got it.”

They parted ways and Heather turned around again. Valencia was watching. She twitched her lips upward timidly. Heather flushed with remorse that things had become so difficult between them. She returned the greeting with a sincere smile. Valencia beamed and approached to talk.

“How’s movie vote number two going?” Heather asked.

Valencia looked back at their companions with loving exasperation. “We’re officially in Eeny Meeny Miny Mo territory, but Rebecca and Paula got into a discussion about whether it should be the full rhyme or just those four words. I feel like I don’t need to tell you which friend was in favor of which option.”

“It’ll be all right. Paula will wrap things up one way or another,” Heather said confidently. “My money’s on her grabbing something out of the pile and shouting ‘This is it!’ just to cut the rounds short.”

Paula’s voice suddenly projected over Rebecca’s. “Oh, look! It’s the brunette from Down with Love. A Christmas Wedding -- we have a winner!” She held the box aloft and then carried the disc to the player.

Rebecca was miffed by the interruption for only a few seconds before her shoulders rose and fell. “Works for me.”

“You called it.” Valencia nudged Heather. “You know us all too well.”

“I feel like you could probably make an educated guess what I’m thinking sometimes, too.”

“Like right now?”

“Sure, if you want.”

Valencia considered Heather with exaggerated scrutiny. “Switching from beer to wine before we start another cringey movie?”

Heather elbowed her and they both smiled. “Bingo.”

#H+V FF #CEG Writing by Me #Helencia #Heather x Valencia #Heather's really sharing my friend's 'Oh poo. Beth's here.' reaction in this one.#I put all three women on the same couch and H+V were hashtag not happy about it. Justifiably so.#IT'S TEMPORARY ANGST #please forgiveee meeeeee

6 notes · View notes