#but he is ALSO an escapist at heart. Neither of them want their definition of pain so they both have terrible routines to try avoiding it ✌ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ftchai · 4 years

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—— ⋆ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄 ╯ task 002.

Basic Character Questions

First name? charlie

Last names? song

Middle names? haru

Nicknames? chai

Date of birth? february / 27

Age? 20

Physical / Appearance

Height? 5′3

Build? skinny, lean

Hair colour? varies constantly. currently, dark brown with the front pieces bleached.

Hair style? length wise, it can cover her chest, naturally straight but usually a little messy.

Eye colour? brown.

Glasses or contact lenses? just reading glasses.

Scars or birthmarks? many small scars on her knees, elbows, a big one on her left shin, mostly from when she once thought she could roller derby, and skateboarding incidents.

Tattoos? has a dragon tattoo that covers most of her left thigh, other random stick and pokes that cover her arms, most are film references and quotes, but also a couple murakami flowers, butterflies, a dead smiley face.

Physical or mental handicaps? she’s medicated for her anxiety.

Type of clothes? baggy band tees, mom jeans with rips in them, old ugly cardigans she somehow pulls off. will occasionally wear tight fitting crop tops, pleated skirts, .

Race / Ethnicity? asian, south korean

Mannerisms? very facially expressive, doesn’t talk with her hands much. mostly with her eyes. widening her eyes and rolling her eyes are usually her responses to most situations.

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? ”yeah” for everything. “man”, “damn”.

Do they have a catchphrase? not really. just quotes movies a lot.

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? depends on the situation. if it concerns others, she’s optimistic, but if it’s a personal matter regarding herself, pessimistic.

Are they introverted or extroverted? introverted.

Do they ever put on airs? never, it’s quite the contrary, actually. puts herself down frequently.

What bad habits do they have? smoking a pack a day, second-guessing herself, sometimes might fall into an old habit of biting her nails.

What makes them laugh out loud? compilations of old vines, cat videos, her friends.

How do they display affection? once comfortable around someone, chai is actually pretty grabby. hugging, hand holding, listening, giving advice, dropping everything for someone. very loyal.

How do they want to be seen by others? i think she just wants to be seen, period. she feels pretty invisible, mostly.

How do they see themselves? as less than they are. she is her worst critic, wish she could realize she’s actually special.

Strongest character trait? perseverance and adaptability.

Weakest character trait? insecure and escapist.

How competitive are they? strangely, not at all. used to be happy to get participation awards.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? a chronic overthinker, so definitely takes time to consider.

How do they react to praise? might not believe 100%, but appreciates it 100%.

How do they react to criticism? if it’s constructive, she’ll accept it when it comes to her music because she’s constantly trying to be better, so she’ll even go out of her way to ask people. when it comes to her life or the way she is, whether her stubbornness or self destructive tendencies, she just blocks it out.

What is their greatest fear? being forgotten. of course she dreams of making it big, but just living in some people’s memories would be enough for her.

What are their biggest secrets? doesn’t have many secrets. maybe that she cares

When was the last time they cried? probably days ago. she gets overwhelmed by her emotions easily, and also likes watching movies to cry at them, so there’s that.

What haunts them? how since her dad left, people have made it a habit to do the same too.

What will they stand up for? she’s an introvert but won’t stand for injustice. having been bullied herself, she’ll stick up for anyone she witnesses being mistreated. also, believes people should be able to live their lives however they want, without people judging them for it.

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? both. loves hanging out in her room, but also loves going to the beach, the lake, skateboard around town.

What is their sinful little habit? drugs. will take just about anything.

What quality do they most value in a friend? loyalty.

What do they consider an overrated virtue? probably temperance, moderation in general.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? she’s stupid so she’d say something like ‘being talented.’

What is their obsession? music, movies, comics.

What are their pet peeves? mansplaining. when guys try to outsmart her when it comes to comics or musical knowledge, and purposefully quiz her with things not even they really know, as if she has something to prove.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? small, separated between south sk and the usa. over here she has her mother, stepdad, aunt, uncle, and her 2 brothers.

What is their perception of family? she loves them, only moved out so soon because she wanted to do things her own way.

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? chai is the middle child, one younger and one older brother.

Describe their best friend. just her perfect fit. affectionate, calm, understanding and patient. someone chai can be herself around and expect 0 judgement. she throughly enjoys being with luna and she feels like luna brings out the best in her. @lunaolsson

Ideal best friend? ^^^

Do they have any pets? not yet. she can’t make up her mind between a ferret, a snake, or a kitten.

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? the kind of child that really lives in her own world. quiet, always watching her surroundings and the people around her, very calm. pretty much always with a coloring book in her hands, too. also her mom has too many videos of her singing into a hairbrush in their living room.

Did they grow up rich or poor? although she doesn’t remember much, she lived comfortably while her parents were together. once they got divorced however, her father stripped her mom of everything, despite the fact she had full custody of chai and her older brother. they struggled, but chai’s mom made sure there was always well fed and dressed. when her stepdad got into the picture, things became easier.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? nurtured by her mother, and eventually her stepfather, but neglected by her dad. he used to call on her birthdays but hasn’t done that ever since she turned 14.

What is their greatest achievement? finishing high school. that was hell for her.

What was their first kiss like? sloppy, drunk and not worth remembering.

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? has pushed away anyone with the slight romantic interest towards her, she doesn’t know how to handle it.

What are their ambitions? getting signed by a record label, buying her mom a house, getting out of crawford.

What advice would they give their younger self? “ it’s okay if people leave, you’ll always have yourself. ”

What smells remind them of their childhood? jjajangmyeon noodles, kimchi stew, pretty much anything her mother cooked for her. also, the smell of old books.

What was their childhood ambition? she wanted to be a vet, until she realized she actually needs to go to school for that.

What is their best childhood memory? the few memories she has of south korea, and when her mom saved up to take her and her siblings to disneyland for the day.

What is their worst childhood memory? when her dad left and they had to come to the usa as quickly as possible.

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? probably too many. she’s always been shy and has talks to herself way too much.

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? probably when cain shut her out.

What past act are they most ashamed of? all those nights she got passed out drunk as a teenager, waking up somewhere and not knowing how she got there. probably not too much because she’ll still do it

What past act are they most proud of? getting it together and keeping a job for once! also releasing an ep on spotify.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? yes and no.

Are they in a relationship? nope

How do they behave in a relationship? really chill, probably too chill because she’s been cheated on too many times. anyway, she really values the person and puts them on a pedestal, does everything for them and during the relationship they’re the topic of 80% of her songs, when they break up it’s 100%

When did you character last have sex? probably last week, some one night stand tinder date

Has your character ever been in love? she thinks so

Have they ever had their heart broken? every. single. time

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? leaves

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? neither. no fights. she hates confrontation.

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the electric yamaha guitar she spent 2 paychecks on.

What do they love to hate? g

What are their phobias? teenage mutant ninja turtles. they disgust her.

What living person do they most despise? probably adam sandler because of all the terrible movies he’s made.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? yes.

Where do they go when they’re angry? scream into her pillow, turn the volume on her amp all the way up and angry jam, gets high and goes skateboarding to clear her mind.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? officially, she works the concession stand at the crawford theatre. in reality, she does anything they need her to do.

What do they think about their current job? it’s hard work sometimes, but for once she feels useful so she enjoys it. movies are her favorite thing.

What are some of their past jobs? there’s a whole list, the ones that lasted more than two weeks were supermarket cashier, dog walking, and babysitting.

What are their hobbies? singing, playing guitar, skating, skateboarding, songwriting, reading.

Educational background? has a high school diploma.

Do they have a natural talent for something? music, both playing instruments and songwriting

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? nope.

What is their socioeconomic status? not really lower middle class, she’s struggling that last week before she gets her next paycheck, but if she’s organized she’s okay.

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? red panda or siberian tiger.

What place would they most like to visit? south korea, japan, london, paris.

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? when her little baby brother would dance around the piano when she finally learned how to play.

What is their favourite song? she’ll never make up her mind, so she’ll unironically say something by avril lavigne.

Music, art, reading preferred? all of the above.

What is their favourite color? green.

Favourite food: tuna sashimi.

What is their favourite day of the week? saturday.

Possessions

What is in their fridge: rice, kimchi, and redbulls

What is on their bedside table? whatever book or comic she’s reading, her glasses, a candle, songwriting book.

What is in their car? blankets in case she needs to crash right there and then, an old pair of sneakers, aux cord, a protein bar.

What is in their purse or wallet? drivers license, whatever change she has, credit card, baby photos of herself and her friends, notes she’s been given.

What is in their pockets? usually her phone.

What is their most treasured possession? that baby blue yamaha guitar.

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? chai has never had a family member pass away. so maybe her mother, she’s always looking out for her.

Do they believe in the afterlife? unsure.

What are their religious views? likes to believe there’s something out there, but she’s an atheist.

What do they think heaven is? where all her favorite rockstars are waiting for her.

What do they think hell is? working retail / customer service.

Are they superstitious? believes in ghosts, but other than that, not really.

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a cat. head empty, no thoughts, just sleep.

How would they like to die? somehow painless.

What is your character’s spirit animal? i’d say a fennec fox. small, looks cute but will bite and run away.

What is their zodiac sign? pisces.

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? betray them.

When did they last lie? rarely lies, if she has to, it’s probably just a little white lie.

What’s their view of lying? on one hand, she knows it’s wrong, but in the other, she’d rather be lied to than have to face the truth.

When did they last make a promise? doesn’t make promises often, must have been something important.

Did they keep or break their last promise? always does, wouldnt really make a promise if she wasn’t sure she could follow through.

Daily life

What are their eating habits? it really is mostly ramen and asian convenience store food. when she misses hearty meals, she’ll drive to her mom’s house.

Do they have any allergies? none.

Describe their home. shares her house with roommates, never leaves anything untidy and always cleans up for herself / does her chores when its her turn. her room is super cluttered, but somehow it’s not messy nor overwhelming. there’s film posters covering the entirety of the walls.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? shower, then eat.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? goes to her mom’s house for dinner, skateboards until the sun sets.

What do they do on a Friday night? goes out always.

What is the soft drink of choice? coke.

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? black vodka shots.

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? stevie nicks.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? anime schoolgirl in a zombie movie.

If they could save one person, who would it be? probably jack on titanic.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? luna !!

What is their greatest extravagance? music equipment.

What is their greatest regret? things she leaves unsaid, not watching infinity war at the theatre for the forth time.

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy her mom a mansion, move out to LA to get a record deal, travel the world.

Do they believe in happy endings? for some people, yes.

What is their idea of perfect happiness? having fans at her concert knowing every lyric of every one of her songs.

What would they ask a fortune teller? should she go into film making instead?

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 70s !

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? talking to animals

#crawford:task #❪ —— ⋆ 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 ╯ task.#omg i cant believe i'm done

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kingdom-hearts-imagine · 5 years

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Kingdom Hearts Match-Up Request

Name: Corethra (or Corey for short)

Age: 24

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Occupation: Hand Packer at an ice cream factory

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Chinese Zodiac: Year Of The Pig

MBTI Type: INFJ

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Race/Ethnicity: African-American

Height: 4'11

Body Type/Shape: Average but well developed figure at best. I’m pretty small because of my height.

Hair Color/Style: Black and naturally curly but I keep it relaxed and flat-ironed so it’s straight. It’s long and goes down to just below my shoulder blades.

Glasses or No?: Yes I wear glasses

Eye Color: Brown

Hobbies/Interests: Video games, reading, writing, anime, internet surfing, listening to music, politics (sometimes), watching movies/TV shows, basically being an overall nerd

Dislikes: Ignorance, stupidity, restriction, manipulation/gas-lighting, bullying, humanity, not being understood

Personality: At first glance, I seem quiet and keep to myself, only speaking when I need to or when I’m spoken to. I’m an anti-social introvert to the fullest and don’t care much for small talk or going out. I prefer to have deeper conversations. When I get comfortable enough in whatever environment I’m in, I start to open up bit by bit. I’m a tomboy and pretty rough-minded. I’m very sassy, have a smart, sarcastic, and witty mouth if not humorous and outrageous at times, can be borderline rude, and I’m more sensitive than I care to be. I can literally cry at someone’s suffering especially if it’s someone I’m close to or even a total stranger. I’m very empathetic and my heart is bigger than what most people would expect. Most people describe me as quiet, intelligent, creative, dorky, and really sweet. I love a good laugh and have an open sense of humor to boot.

Many of my friends say that I’m very sweet and kind which I usually am if I’m in a good mood as well as affectionate as hell. Hugs and pet names galore with me! However only my friends and family see that side of me. My language is often unfiltered, harsh, foul, and blunt which shocks people because they think I’m a pure angel. I say what I want when I want and no one tells me otherwise. If they do, they can expect a mouthful from me. I’m an escapist and very imaginative, can be a bit scatterbrained at times, and I’m methodical and detailed almost to the point of perfectionism. I’m usually a walking contradiction in terms of personality in so many ways to the point where the real me is almost impossible to decipher.

I have many pet peeves and I get annoyed easily in general. I’m also slowly embracing misanthropy and nihilism to a lesser extent. I’m practically zero tolerance when it comes to bullshit. I hate confrontation and conflict but I’m starting to work on it so I can be less passive-aggressive and more assertive. I also wish to stand up for myself more often than I should so people won’t think that I’m weak and an easy target. I’m pretty cynical which is to be expected and usually expect the worst from people. When someone angers me, I will either just withdraw altogether and completely cut them off (slam the door basically) or get in their face and go off before doing the former. I’m the “hold my anger in and release it all at once” type but I hope to change that one day and stop letting things fester before they get out of hand. I can be quite petty and even cold as well and if someone wrongs me, they will have to make the first move to mend fences. I refuse to apologize if I’m not in the wrong and I will not accept gaslighting/guilt tripping.

I have issues with trust and a wild imagination to boot. I usually trust my instincts and can see right through bullshit. I don’t like taking risks and I have to know all the details when I do something so I don’t mess up and look like an idiot. I am indeed a perfectionist at times. I haven’t been in a relationship yet and am still a virgin due to my issues with trust and not wanting to be hurt or humiliated as well as being picky/perfectionistic with the people I allow in my life. I expect a lot from people and myself although I’m pretty laid-back and a bit lazy most of the time which allows me to also take a lot of shit from people too before I eventually say “fuck it” and slam the door on them.

Many people praise me for my intelligence which is fitting since I’m an intellectual. My ideals and beliefs are rather odd to say the least (I’m a classical liberal/independent and despise most ideologies/ideas. This includes religion, feminism, social justice, traditionalism, statism, big government, nationalism, socialism/communism, etc.) and I feel misunderstood because of it (mostly because of the black community ostracizing me). I am indeed a rebel, open-minded, and a free thinker. No one tells me how to think or feel or else they face my wrath. I highly value power over myself and I think it’s the most important thing that a person needs in order to survive. I am definitely an outcast at heart and I often distance myself from others and don’t like talking about my feelings or beliefs because I think most people lack the ability/capacity to understand me. Before I give my opinion on something, I like to do as much research as possible as well as look at things from all perspectives before coming to my own conclusion. I don’t mind discussing things but I prefer logic over emotion when doing so which makes it damn near impossible these days for me to have an real conversation without insults and threats being thrown (usually towards me). Chances are I’m gonna find something wrong with damn near anything someone believes in or says and I’m not afraid to call it out when I see it. Once I do open up and express how I feel, the gates of passion will open up and never close.

I’m currently battling depression and often experience many symptoms of it including suicidal thoughts. I also suffer from iron-deficiency anemia and irregular periods. These things are pretty annoying and humiliating for me to deal with whenever they pop up.

Overall, I’m pretty crazy and a handful to deal with. Good luck matching me up with someone :P

I can see you with...

Ansem the Wise

You both share the same level of intelligence and sometimes get into heated debates. (You both eventually stop once you realize that neither of you are wiling to give up the fray.) Ansem, at first, was like a support system, a therapist for you then he started to feel for you. You thought he was just taking pity on you for your conditions, but those feelings turned out to be genuine. You awake to a hot breakfast everyday before you head off to work. Ansem does his best to provide for you and keep you happy. He does worry about you and will leave the laboratory early if he feels like somethings not right. He gives you space when you need it, he holds you when you cry, he's there for you when you're at your worst, he's always there to pick you back up and dust you off. He treasures your smile, your laugh, you in general.

#sacredwarrior88 #matchup #ansem the wise #submission

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straane · 7 years

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Motherworld (Ch.3/?)

Title: Motherworld

Author: strane-stelle

Fandom: Final Fantasy X

Central characters: Tidus

Rating: 12+

Chapters: 3/? Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Word count: 2809

Summary: “The fayth said it’s pointless to keep dreaming. The dream will disappear, he said. What did he mean?” After a long journey, Tidus finally gets to go home.

Warnings: Ton of OCs; idk, drug references??

Other comments: credit goes to @shuyiin for the idea.(or virtually the star player himself @leviathkand)

Chapter 3 – Go with the Flow

"Someone order a wacko? With a side of 'runs in the family'?"

To be sure, it was a clichéd line, but it certainly got the attention of all seven Abes, as Tidus joined them a couple of minutes late in the changing room. Not that he wouldn't have turned heads in any case – he would, everywhere he went – but he'd fallen right back into his old bad habit of listening in.

Nella shot up from the bench at once, beaming; to throw her arms around him. Tidus fell back about two steps – she was a head taller, and made of hard tricep and nothing else. There was a great sincerity about the gesture, hefty as it was – she was one of the two who had not uttered one bad word about their now scandal-ridden teammate. At worst, she had seemed worried.

"Welcome back!"

Feeling ever so slightly patronized, and not for the first time today, Tidus quickly broke away and responded with a simple thanks. Granted, he knew that the extremely kind and extremely talented midfielder had meant no disrespect. Nella gave a wide smile – with something resembling relief or anticipation; perhaps both. She had changed her hairstyle, from shoulder-reaching dark curls to clipped darker curls with red streaks.

"Look, we're sorry," a less keen voice breathed over Nella's vast shoulder, irritated. The voice belonged to Edge – also the owner of a well-suited name. Everything about the man was pointed and pallid: eyes, hair, face, personality. The eldest on the team, at 36; he was hardly any sage or father figure, more like a drunk grandpa – disapproving of anything and everything, and starting petty disputes over anything and everything – sometimes, it seemed, his own opinion. In the pool, inexplicably, he'd then transform into a fantastic team player. "What'd you want us to say? What do you think everyone else is saying?"

Tidus didn't have to think, nor did anyone in the room. Teri shifted awkwardly in the corner, moving a strand of her inky short hair; with others mirroring her movements – there was never any telling whether their capable if rather reticent captain was about to say something. But this time Edge beat her to it, adding with a more placid tone, "Well, it's good to see you alive."

Everyone gave approving nods, and resumed practice preparations in a collective synchronized motion, encouraging Tidus to claim his usual spot on the bench as well. Although, after receiving a couple more welcome-backs and a domino effect of apologies, he'd barely gotten around to pulling the zipper on his bag, when he felt obliged to stand up again and spare a few more words. And again the room went frozen and silent.

Tidus rubbed his temples. "Hey, guys... I know it's a lot to ask, but can we not do this whole 'awkward' thing? You know I liked it a lot better when I was just the... y'know, talentless new kid who made the team 'cuz of his dad and nothing else..."

"That was almost two years ago," Nella reminded him, suddenly defensive. "You've more than proven yourself since and you know th--"

"Yeah, I know that," Tidus agreed. "And that was the fun part, proving myself to you guys! Because I knew I could! Just give me another chance, okay? Or even better... let's just focus on practice and not me, okay? Those Duggles are going down," he slammed a fist into his palm, with half-earnest enthusiasm, "right?"

There was a string of half-hearted nods, and a couple of excited ones. That was good enough for Tidus.

Lately, Tidus had began to compartmentalize. Sure, he had witnessed an eerie sight on his very doorstep less than a week ago – heard it talk, even – and if nothing else; for Tidus himself, it had served as a final confirmation; vanquisher of all remaining doubt: Spira was real. He had not hallucinated anything, nor indulged an escapist fantasy or started to believe his own lies – it was all real. And sure, he still missed that place – terribly – this was about as far as he could look back, before it simply became too much. And sure, his life here remained unchanged; messy and vaguely melancholic; with new rumors sprouting up at every turn like Sinspawn; his recently expanded PR team refusing some 90 interviews per day; his plentiful caretakers studying his very breathing for signs – any signs. Even all positive remainders of his old life would appear exactly that: old. Worn-down. Ill-fitting.

But what was he to do? Since the fleeting encounter with the fiend from the other side, he'd not had the pleasure of beholding any additional otherwordly visions, nor had he heard voices or run into any mystical hooded children telling him not to cry (and boy, did he at times want to). So what if a dying demonic animal had transcended time and space just to tell him hi, how did that help him in any way? He'd certainly not been able to help the poor soul. If he didn't know how to reverse the stunt, what was the point of chewing it over?

And just the day before, in a passing moment of clarity, Tidus had finally found a solution. He had finally resolved in his heart to do what he should have done from day one. What Leo referred to as damage control, he would dub making the best of here and now. He would once again let go, surrender to the flow; tag along on a journey he'd never planned to take. He would moderate his responses to Dr. Cidron's questions; eventually phase them into retraction and denial. He would nod along as needed. He would heed Leo's every command. He would play with the Abes again. He would live a life; he would be his old self again.

In the depths of his soul, he would know the truth; in his heart; he would always treasure Yuna. But for now, to save his skin – he'd wear his old one. He didn't have a choice; it was the only thing he could do – he'd give in, he'd accept, he'd believe. He'd allow it to be true.

This was his new reality, and he was stuck in it for good.

The post-storm reconstruction had recently extended over to the pool area as well. The Abes' temporary practice field turned out to be a quite a far cry from what they were used to: a far smaller and simpler watery orb – a puddle almost – filled with; seemingly; lower-quality liquids. The proportions, the layout, Tidus observed; trying hard not to get snobby at a time like this; were all almost beginner-level. Not a lot of room for improvement, he couldn't help but indulge a smidge of that snobbiness, quite literally! Oh well, he then figured, wasn't going back to the basics his plan in any case?

They'd been marching to the pool entrance in a near-perfect line; the air still a bit strained for casual chat, when Frion suddenly broke the formation and ran to Tidus's side. Tidus turned his head in anticipation, and the white-haired youth hesitated a moment before whispering, just as they reached the gateway, "You cleared all the... tests, right?"

There was one thing that Tidus was determined never to 'confess'; not even to steer suspicions; or to give an easy excuse, and it was forbidden substances. He'd done well with Sin's toxin back on Besaid – and here it was again on everyone's lips, whether he liked it or not – but these were totally taboo; his no-good drunkard dad would've disapproved. Well before his own breakthrough; as Tidus vaguely recalled; there had been one case with a particularly nasty sort; one that would simultaneously enchance performance and cause hallucinations. In the end, the offender; a slightly older player if his memory served; had barely lived, and happily admitted to having made a terrible mistake. The incident had since been swept under the rug – mercifully – as a dirty black spot in the oft-glamorized blitz history. But for every blitz fan and every sports magazine that tried their best to forget, there was also one of each that remembered – and that wanted to know the truth about the more recent events; the truth about 'the toxin'.

"You think I'd be here if I didn't?"

Leo, Bern, Dr. Cidron and even Evy were all watching from the stands; Leo looking as though he wanted to produce a forbidden substance from his person right away; Bern buried in a book, sparing a listless glance now and then; Dr. Cidron trying to decide whether to cheer or worry or both; and Evy most definitely settled on cheering – she was as big a fan as ever.

Shortly before Tidus's disappearance, the blitzball powers-that-be had approved for test runs a new type of game-supplementary machina: a set of minuscule earphones and mouthpieces that allowed the players to communicate during the game. As it turned out, the technology had been freshly confirmed as official equipment to be used at the coming Jecht Legacy Cup (a Jecht Memorial Cup relaunch). Tidus had actually conducted one of the test runs himself – a mere week pre-Spira – naturally; as not too long ago he'd been the go-to poster boy of the new blitz generation. On that account, figuring out how the device worked was not the problem – and there wasn't really a problem – only a momentary feeling of mixed nostalgia and detachment as Teri very deliberately handed the headset to Tidus at the pool entrance. He really was back.

Technically, Teri was only the team captain, not the coach – but she effectively did double duty just as Wakka had, as their actual coach was far more interested in his 90% ownership of the team. Hirans, who in Tidus's opinion bore a striking resemblance to Kinoc, was neither a sportsman or even sportsmanlike in any way imaginable, and it was only by some clever navigation through bureaucratic technicalities that he'd been able to snatch the title of coach at all. He'd also been notably absent from Tidus's now infamous press conference, and had since practically gone into hiding, by the looks of it. Dreams or not, Tidus mused, people here sure loved to pretend: fake coach, nominal agent, lazy bodyguard.

"Alright, hope everyone's loving the widgets," Teri addressed the team as they swam into the pool, her own expression betraying a certain level of reservation. There were some cautious murmurs of approval, echoing through everyone's heads – Edge and Arret were covering their ears, apparently fearing that the microscopic gizmo would fall right off at the first wrong movement. Tidus could hardly believe that in something at least, he was actually ahead of the curve (and definitely no thanks to Spira). Juggling two blitzballs above his head, while others still bombarded Teri with questions, he was as ready for some tussle as could be.

"Hey," Nella suddenly gave Tidus a gentle nudge on the shoulder – startling him, and making him lose the ball, "you belong here. You always have." Tidus tried to scrabble for the runaway ball with his both arms and one leg, too; only to fumble the attempt. He gave her a nervous chuckle, which she returned. He appreciated the sentiment – but there was something about the passing moment of clumsiness that suddenly filled him with stress.

The first half of the practice was just alright. Tidus was on the same team with all of his harshest doubters, who also happened to be the ones struggling the most with the new technology. He was hardly at the top of his game himself, still feeling a little disconnected with the environment, and not only because it had recently shrunken in size. The other team, in turn, almost seemed to be going easy on them – or him – sometimes bordering on unprofessional levels. (This was not going unnoticed by Leo, either, judging by his rather lively body language.) The teams mostly relied on basic commands such as 'Catch!', 'No!', 'Come on!', 'Go Riona!' – which would've been easy enough to convey by the traditional non-verbal methods – and at times there was confusion as to who was addressing whom. The first ten minutes were far from a disaster, just markedly tame and tortuous at the same time – and goal-free. Goal-attempt-free, if one squinted – and not because there had been such high-caliber, evenly matched skill on display.

Bern, Dr. Cidron and Evy all departed for work after the first half – of course, Tidus would've been the work, had it not been for Leo's request to meet the boy in private after the practice. Tidus thought he saw the agent exchange a few words with Evy before she turned to leave – an apology for the press conference? The man could feel empathy?

Inexplicably, even the more skeptic fellow Abes seemed to have warmed up to Tidus by the half-time break – after he'd done literally nothing to deserve it. Perhaps nothing was more than enough – whether they'd been expecting him to start selling bags of powder mid-match, or just have a customary nervous breakdown, Tidus wasn't sure, but they were all giving him pats on the shoulder and even sparing some compliments, 'Still got it!'; 'Well, you are full of surprises!' What 'it' and 'surprises' referred to; and how exactly they'd been involved in the most uneventful practice session of all time; Tidus also wasn't sure, but he did feel heartened by the very subtle clap of hands that Edge indicated towards him.

The second half began in somewhat more vigorous spirits, when the opposing side went on the maximum offensive within the first ten seconds. Tidus finally got something to do as he near single-handedly managed to fend off the first scoring attempt, by throwing himself hard against one of the goalposts – and poor Nella, who'd been floating right up there stalking the goal area. Even with the increased resistance from the lower-quality liquids, and her matching if not greater body weight, she was flung quite a distance across the field, all the way to the pool entrance; which she thankfully didn't hit.

"Nella!" Tidus yelped after her, along with the others. "Are you okay?"

They never got a clear answer. From the other side of the pool, they could just see Nella straightening her back, unharmed; shaking her head a little and then starting towards them – only to lose sight of her completely, when there was a sudden outpour of something swift and green, swimming up from behind her and towards them. The headsets immediately turned into a hearing hazard.

"What...?! What are-- are those... fiends?!"

"How'd they get in? Wha-- I haven't seen one in years!"

"Nella!" Tidus shrieked, but there was no time to wait for a reply. Neither was there time to think – the swarm was huge, huge enough to block their single exit – and the fish's apparent entry point. But his fellow Abes were no cowards, and Frion had already grabbed one of the four practice blitzballs floating about – it was time Tidus took a leaf out of Wakka's book as well. Out of the corner of his eye, Tidus could see Leo in the stands, tearing out his hair in absolute horror.

The battle with the aquatic beasts was brief and chaotic. Tidus and Frion took out at least a dozen each, Riona joined in with a third ball after a failed escape attempt, and Teri had just located the fourth makeshift weapon when – just as quickly as they had emerged – the swarm began to vanish; dissolve into those bright, tailed lights.

This time, there we no parting words – the creatures faded away in near-complete silence, with only a distant sound of streaming water flowing through their technologically enhanced ears. Everyone seemed to be doubting their own senses – what exactly had happened, and why were they having an adrenaline rush?

"Hey," a shaky voice then spoke, and nobody seemed to care who it was exactly, "where's Nella?"

Tidus whirled around wildly. All eyes were on him.

"I..."

But she was gone. Nella was gone; without a trace, as abruptly and as definitively as the swarm of infernal fish that had ambushed her. The pool gate loomed bleakly on the other side of the field, not too far from them in the tiny watery sphere, tightly shut and empty of intruders.

Tidus felt a sudden thwack against his back, then another, and then; with one grip of his collar; Edge span Tidus around, tightening his grab as he struck his teammate on the chest, "You what?! What'd you do?! Where is she?!"

Teri tried to break the two apart, but her arms were still trembling, and she received a thump on the shoulder as well.

Tidus was as shocked as anyone. The blows had barely hurt.

"I... I think she went to Spira."

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ruinationrp-blog · 7 years

Photo

MASTER SERGEANT WILLARD “WHISKEY” WINDMILLER · 38 · HEAD DOCTOR · SHADOWED COMMANDO · TAKEN

" Stop doing what is easy. Start doing what is right. " - Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

ORIGIN:

Chicago, Illinois

TRAITS:

+ Amiable, Observant, Empathetic

- Escapist, Miserable, Vulnerable

BIOGRAPHY:

THERE IS A WAR OUTSIDE, COME SEE THE BULLETS FLY.

American as American could get, Willard was born in the heart of the United States high society, ironically so to two originally-European families, the dutch Vanderbilts and german Windmillers. He was a loved child, though the United States never quite had aristocracy, both of his families were very much near it. Their business went everywhere, from railroads to mining to stock market and so on, from the moment Willard knew how to talk, he knew his family was important. He was born as the oldest of five, to a loving but sick father and an equally loving but overwhelmed mother. When Willard reached age six, his mother had a mental breakdown and all of the children were removed from the house to live with relatives, as his mother was then cared for by an array of people.

Willard, as the oldest, was sent to his grandparents house in New York. Eliza and Frederick Vanderbilt weren’t young by any stretch when their grandson came to live with them at age six, they had spawned five children (Willard mother’s included) and had countless relatives to rely on, still, their days wound up most dedicated to the grandchild they took in. Eliza, like her daughter, was a good and kind hearted woman with a fragile health – so Willard’s days started early as he was a proactive child who wanted to care for her. If he wasn’t sticking around his grandmother, he was being taken to places along his grandfather, an important businessman that even though most of the fortune and family had been already passed down the line, he was alive and active in the New Yorker High Society.

Willard never cared much for the parties, functions, balls and so on. He enjoyed more the days he got to stay with Eliza, the head housekeeper Dmitria and his grandmother’s nurse, Carla. Homeschooled until age eight and after that he was put in one of the many renowned New York preparatory schools, one of his grandmother’s demands, that he’d stay as close as possible. Mostly peacefully and quietly, Willard’s days went by like that, with his time divided between school, the many activities he was expected to tend to and running around his grandparents. He was a sensitive, endearing child who only wanted to cater to the people he loved. By age sixteen he dutifully married one high society girl – Emma Rothschild, handpicked by his dying and definitely a little manipulative grandmother, who wanted to see him safely married to “a good someone from the high society”, and did not hesitate in emotionally blackmailing her favorite grandchild. Neither of them loved each other, though they were acquainted since childhood, there were no mutual feelings there other than sympathy for one another.

He accepted marrying a friend if it’d make his grandmother happy. Happier she was indeed when Emma got pregnant of their first child a year later. (She did not pass away until ten years later.)

As he approached the age of seventeen, Willard had never showed any particular interest or talent in the areas his grandfather thought interesting – law, economics, politics or architecture. Instead, he was given to the arts his grandmother loved so much and to caring for others. In the end, the middle grounds was medicine. He was just turned eighteen when he made it to Columbia’s medical school. Poster boy for an “exemplary” wealthy life. Rich, talented, married, a father and with a shining future ahead.

DO YOU HEAR THE BATTLE CRY?

Five years into medical school, a diligent and brilliant student, Willard saw as the Great Depression ruined New York and almost took his family with it – what was wealth to last the next five generations came crashing down hard and had them all holding their breaths. He had never cared for the wealthy and famous lifestyle but he had a wife and child to support and as the stock market came crashing down and he was as terrified as everyone else. That was how he found his way into the American Army. With strong recommendations from professors and a pedigreed name, Willard finished up his medical residence on the field.

While his country’s economics took so long to bounce back and he watched as many of his family took their own lives in despair, while the ridiculous amount of wealth was lost to the wind and ultimately, the mansion where he was raised wound up auctioned off, he was able to keep a decent living for his wife and son (and savings from the mansion’s auction he left for a truly rainy day, the irony of it). They weren’t a loving textbook family but he loved Emma as his best friend and he loved his child, those were the biggest motivators as to why he woke up in the morning. But he also ended loving his work – the specifics of army doctor, exactly. He wanted to help. He wouldn’t be able to hold a gun, the Hippocratic oath was the code he decided to live by.

Do no harm.

While Willard stood out among the troops like a sore, smiley, sympathetic, an incorrigible bleeding heart, he was also exceptional at his job. Unable to kill a bug but unaffected by shoving his hands into an open stomach in search for bullets, there were very few doctors with stomach and mind to withstand what he did. Winding up with Spec Ops many times, able to keep up with the ludicrous training and hours, more so, if he could save someone’s life without cutting off their limbs it was a plus. But of course, he couldn’t live forever holding up, unbroken.

In 1937, two years before the war began, he was sent to the countryside of England in a trade, to help train med technicians there, though he never meant to move to the United Kingdom he’d brought his family with himself in blind optimism of having a different life. Right after he war started, Willard refused to leave the United Kingdom but he put his wife and child in a ship and sent them back to their homeland. How could he ever know the ship would never make it? Just another casualty of war, he was devastated. But no one has time to feel loss in the middle of war, not when you’ve got people to train and lives to save.

Funny enough, what gave Willard a new reason to live was the very war that turned his life to shambles. He did not have properly anyone other what was left of his siblings in America but the men in the army needed him more than ever, that was enough reason. At first he was put as the Head Instructor for the Medic Technicians of the Second, a year later dispatched to work in a London hospital and a year after that he was put back with the Spec Ops unity he had worked with back then. Unsurprisingly so, his Unity was mostly killed by mustard gas and for a bit he was sent to work in another hospital in France – until he was brought to the Shadowed Commandos.

FACECLAIM: Chris Evans

#chris evans #chris evans fc #literate rp #wwii rpg #world war ii rpg #takenm #character #willard windmiller #whiskey

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sulfurousdreamscapes · 7 years

Text

It was the morning I was going to get the bow. Made from the wood from the Tha'syl forest, it would be the first bow I would use in my whole life that wasn’t a hand-me-down. The entire previous night, the song of the Cleric had been ringing in my ears. I went to sleep humming it, and I woke up humming it. I’d heard it only once before, when we made camp, on our quest to retrieve the goblet of the elven queen. And yet, it had remained lodged in my head like a fly in a spider’s web. I’d devoured it, and now it was a part of me: every note, every sound, every plucked string of the harp, every beat of the drum.

“I don’t really know if I’m ready for this,” I said, kneeling before my mentor, the old elf Dorannir. He conferred the bow to me, and I didn’t really have much choice in accepting it.

“You’ll never be ready for it if you keep wondering,” he said, “I spent a good deal on having this made, just for you. You deserve it, more than anyone else I know.”

“Even more than Tele'zica?” I asked. The very name made his face drop, and I fell sorry for bringing her up. “You know I would rather not have to think of her,” he said. I nodded and apologised. I felt the bow in my hands. I drew the string and fired at a blob of goo jumping around near the trees. It died instantly. Satisfied, I retrieved the arrow, and also some of the gold the blob had left behind.

I had an MP3 of the song. Yeah, that was a different era—YouTube was too unknown, and you didn’t have Spotify or Pandora to stream songs from. Back then, you searched high and low on the Internet for songs. And this song, from the MMO? Oh, it was rare. I found it on a file sharing tracker: a private one. It was like my little treasure. I played it over and over again. That probably explains my obsession with it.

Dorannir had been moved by the song too. Or well, that’s what I called him most of the time, but his screen name was Sugi49. The 49 stood for the year the People’s Republic of China was founded. He’d admitted that he’d had questionable taste in screen names as a kid. Any way, he had some video editing program, and he was working on a video for the song. It would have lyrics, and graphics and even animations and stuff. I think you kids call it ‘lyrics video’ nowadays.

“I know what you’re wishing,” I said to him over MSN Messenger, “You wish Tele'zica was here to hear the song.”

“Yeah,” he replied. He sent a nudge, which shook the entire chat window around. He knew I hated that.

I knew the full lyrics to the song by now, and I’d sung it a few times. Sugi49 wanted to hear me sing it, but my voice was too terrible for that.

I played the recording back. My microphone was terrible, and it picked up a lot of noise. All in all, it sounded like my voice was coming out of a shoddy radio. With a beating heart, I searched online for a host to upload it on (again, you have to remember that this was a time before Google Drive, Vocaroo, Dropbox and all these fancy services). I didn’t find one, so I told Sugi49 that I’m going to send it over MSN Messenger. And I did. And on my speed, it was going to take four hours to send one audio file. I sighed.

“It’s not really very good, and the microphone is bad too, so like, don’t judge it too much, okay?” I said.

Sugi49 lol’d. “I just hope neither of us have a disconnect. Then we’ll have start the transfer all over again,” he said. Ugh, I thought—disconnects are the worst.

I spent the next hour reading the MMO’s official forums. It was our own little community. A little hidey-hole from the rest of the world. I say this in retrospect, of course. Back then, it was just there—just so obvious, that I never even questioned it being there for me. I wouldn’t have used the term ‘escapist fantasy’ then because it just sounds so patronising. Like I’m a fucking child who needs escapist play to feel good about myself.

And then, on another lazy refresh, I saw the thread. It was Dorannir’s thread about the lyric video he’d made. “What the fuck?” I said to him over messenger, “You didn’t show me first?”

“Surprise!” he replied.

The video had been uploaded to this new video uploading site that was starting to pick up popularity. It was like Photobucket for videos, you could say. They called it… YouTube.

I started playing the video, and it took ages to buffer. I decided to leave it on buffer and left the computer. I helped mum cook, and she was glad about that, for once. I was glad I could make mum happy. Even though she’s a bitch most of the time.

When I returned, I hit play on the video. The video wasn’t really special, you have to understand. It was actually quite bad in comparison to what gets made today. But Sugi49 had poured his everything into it. It was full of effects. There were images from the game: wallpapers from the official site, key art, concept art, loading screens, even a screenshot or two. Sugi49 had used almost every transition and every effect available in his program. There was that old-timey-movie effect, there was the black-and-white, there was the shredder transition.

The song was ethereal, and Sugi49 had used imagery from outside the game, too. Clouds, forlorn-looking elven girls, full moons shining over the sea. There was an album cover, too. The band was Nightwish. He loved them, but I only got into metal much later.

And of course the video stopped buffering midway through. So much for waiting an hour for it to load.

Sugi49’s video blew up on the forum. No one had really made a lyrics video for this specific song from this specific MMO before, so it proved to be really popular, and a lot of players with internet connections far better than mine praised him for his effort and how cool the video was and asked him if he was going to make more.

He didn’t talk to me much that day. Of course he didn’t. He was too busy talking to people on the forum and answering private messages. He didn’t even show up in the game. I tried playing a bit myself, using my new bow, but I couldn’t bring myself to hum the song anymore. I didn’t even like being a Cleric class and using the bow. I wanted to punch the Cleric ‘Sister’ who sings the song in the game. It’s a stupid song.

I asked Sugi49 on Messenger if he listened to my recording. He said my connection dropped during the transfer and it was interrupted. I started the transfer again. Meanwhile, an anime episode I had on download finally completed downloading, so I hit play. As a side, I feel like the long downloads from back then really meant something. When you’ve had to spend days for an episode, weeks for a series, a month or two for a game, you start to treat them as something special. It’s almost like spending money on entertainment, except not.

I left a comment in the forum. “Nice video, Dorannir,” it said. Nice and simple. He never thanked me for it. Fine, I thought. I’ll just listen to J-Pop and anime themes. Fucking Sailor Moon cared more for me than Sugi49.

I didn’t really know what came over me to hate Sugi49’s popularity. It was like he’d been torn away from me. He’d become famous and now he probably didn’t care about little ol’ me. It was so stupid, but I couldn’t shake it off. Mum asked if I’ll help her cook. I told her I’m not feeling up to it. She said something passive aggressive. I sniped back. We argued. Also, fuck Sugi49.

In the evening, I asked him if he’d listened to my recording. He said he hadn’t. Then he checked, to make sure. Nope, the file download had stalled at 42% for some reason, and it wasn’t moving beyond that. We waited half an hour to be sure, and then cancelled the transfer. “This is never going to work,” I typed, and deleted a sad face emoticon before sending the message.

“Prolly not,” he said.

“Enjoying your new-found popularity?” I asked.

“Yeah sure, why not,” he replied.

“Well, there are people who don’t enjoy popularity, you know. Or like, there’s impostor syndrome, if you’ve heard of that,” I said.

“Ugh, so many PMs,” he said, “I give up answering all of them. Brb, gonna get some lunch.”

I played the recording of my voice again. And again. My own ugly voice singing to myself. I wanted to get on a boat, ride out into the middle of the ocean, and drown the damn recording. I’d let it sink to the bottom of the ocean floor only after I was sure it was dead. Unfortunately, digital data cannot be drowned.

That, and I’m scared shitless of open bodies of water.

Call it prophecy, call it a vision from the future, call it what you will. I realised how little all of this matters. I won't be playing this game forever. It's not even particularly huge, so it's almost likely going to be shut down at some point. Will Sugi49 and I still be friends then? Will the forums continue? Probably not the latter—those will be shut down with the game. The roleplays, the fanfiction, the discussion threads and polls, all gone. All the comments praising Dorannir and his mighty lyrics video would disappear into the aether of the internet, only to be resurrected in some Internet Archive page—if anyone cares to look.

It made me sad.

I messaged Sugi49. "Sorry," I said. "What for?" he said almost immediately. "I don't know, just sorry, I guess," I said. He sensed that I was having a pretty profound time right now, so he chose to accept the apology.

"Can you upload that audio to YouTube?" he asked me. He helped me put the audio into a video container with a basic title screen and a graphic of the game. It was kinda cool. I set it for upload, and sighed, almost certain that my connection was going to drop, or the upload was going to stall, or someone was going to bomb my house, or I was going to die in a flood, or something.

I went around looking at some fanart. and that's when I got a message from an excited Sugi49. "You won't believe what just happened," he said. I disagreed, but never mind. "Tele'zica just messaged me. She said the video is great. She's alive! I don't believe this," he said.

The irony is that he definitely didn't believe this, but I did. I mean, why the hell would I care enough to not believe it.

"What did she say?" I offered some interest.

"Nothing, just 'great video'," he said, but soon after added, "She's asking me how I am and stuff now. She's really back."

"Good for you," I typed, and deleted it without sending.The upload was working, so I just stared at the progress bar for a while. It moved really, really slow.

Somewhere in the game, in a forest where monsters once roamed, I sat down next to the campfire. "It's nice to be alone," I typed in the local chat. There was nobody around. Just me, and the chat box. There will be a time when even I won't be here. And the chat box won't be here. We'll only remember it by screenshots—old photographs proving that it once existed, and that it displayed people's messages.

Everything passes? The bow I have, that Dorannir spent so much gold on. The graphics and sounds here. All gone, but still tormenting me in my memories.

So what happened then? No, my YouTube video upload failed. And then at one point, my computer broke and I had to get the hard drive formatted, so I lost both the audio of me singing and the video I'd made out of it. Sugi49 and I stopped talking daily, then weekly, then monthly, and now we barely say hi.

Nearly a decade later, his lyrics video is still up on YouTube, although the comments have stopped trickling in. I can always revisit that—until YouTube is gone too, I guess.

This post was delayed due to technical issues.

Today’s throwback story is about a really tall tower.

#writing #writers of tumblr #writeblr #story #short story #spilled ink #spilled words #words #daily writing

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