#but yeah including two others as well

[drinkingdeadpeopletea]

Title: "flash-frozen in the driver's seat" Fandom: Midst (Podcast) Categories: G, Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply, Complete Word Count: 3613 Characters: Phineas Thatch, Tzila Guthrie

“Why do you have that?” Tzila asks. Phineas opens his eyes. She’s pointing at his abacus with the back of her pen. He looks down at it and frowns. “It’s my abacus.” “I know what an abacus is,” says Tzila, rolling her eyes. “Why do you have Caenum? Didn’t being a soldier and solving mysteries or whatever get you a ton of Valor?” Phineas and Tzila have a conversation in the quiet halls of the Lazaretto.

(hi everyone it's ME again! back with another midst missing scene i couldn't stop thinking about.)

#midst #midst podcast #my writing #i like phineas so much and i think his season 2 pre-moth headspace is. well. it's terrible in a way that i find compelling #and i think tzila's 'you were pretending to be my friend!' in 2.15 implies that they'd hung out more than we see in canon #AND i think tzila's relationship with the trust is potentially SUPER interesting #in that way that when you're twelve you're very sure you know what's right but it's often so influenced by what your parents/ #people you look up to tell you about what's right. but on the other hand! she misses the highest light! she grew up there! #also i do love miscommunication plots. i think all the things tzila and phineas and lark are not #saying to each other and not understanding about each other in season two are super fun to write dialogue around #so anyway here's this hope you like it <3 #also i really included SO many Proper Nouns in this summary without even noticing it asljsldkjflksj #yeah yeah we all know what valor and caenum and abacus and lazaretto mean

[graff-aganda]

I'm all for my fellow merch makers making whatever decisions they want with what they produce. But I wish it were more widely known that a clear epoxy coat over acrylic pins and charms will yellow over time. ;;

#there are pros and cons to many things epoxy included!! #like if its a coat over the print then like. it can protect the print itself from getting scratched #and hell it just Looks Nice. the domed effect is very cool :) #when theres glitter in there too??? whoa mama #but yeah. the yellowing. granted it could take a few years for that to start #perhaps also depending on the manufacturer and the epoxy used #as well as sometimes the epoxy surface has like. a residual tackiness to it? (from my vograce experiences) #if you're slow to move merchandise like I am tho. it kinda makes stuff with epoxy feel like a ticking timebomb #unfortunately all my previous charms are epoxy domed bc i didn't know this at the time!! but I'm avoiding epoxy for my new pin sets #and won't be using it for charms again in the future. just as a personal preference. #like dont get me wrong. they'll be fine for a good long while #but i was going through my old charms bought from cons again the other day and even some of the ones from just two years ago #were yellowing 😞 #grafftalk #delete later #also the same with clear epoxy resin in typical resin work. bc its the same stuff #but thats why a lot of resin crafts are best done with colour bc it usually hides the effects of the oxidation

[josephslittledeputy]

Lucian & Celeste (In her baby vamp era) || Wes & Celeste (Late 1970s/Early 80s) Gabriel & Celeste (Present time) || Sidra & Sel (Scandalizing the public, obvi)

Tagged by @inafieldofdaisies & @jillvalentinesday to do this Holiday Meiker ty beloveds!

Not tagging anyone since this ones already made the rounds and I'm a bit late, but if you want to do this one feel free to tag me!

#oc: celeste night #oc: lucian vargas #oc: wesley norton #oc: gabriel walker #otp: an invite to eternity #otp: you can love him #otp: who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me #oc: sidra navros #oc: sel blackmore #otp: our love is god #had to include Cel's many different ships this time cause why not they give me constant brain rot #we've got her maker (lucian) & her human lover (wes) & then her enemies to lovers prev vampire hunter dhampir (gabriel) #cant even begin to untangle their drama asdfghjkl & i dont want to clog up the tags so yeah we'll leave it at that #well okay theres no drama with wes hes definitely her healthiest ship but the other two (luci especially) are lowkey garbage fires #also in wes & cel's pic shes wearing his jacket in case she gets cold (he hasnt found out shes a vampire yet sksk) #Sid & Sel meanwhile are just having fun being public menaces and I love that for them

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

#science #transphobia #cass review #less 'cass review' generally more 'zucker specifically' because this same problem exists outside cass #have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong' #'there's another study says the exact opposite. that one's right. obviously.' #but cass is why i'm annoyed by it now #normally i don't have a problem with critical observations and questions. yeah check your science! that's good! #there have been some bullshit studies and some bullshit interpretations of good studies! scientific literacy is important! #and normally also am willing to pretend the people pulling reaction 1 on some studies and reaction 2 on others are. not the same group. #but now there's a ton of cass supporters tryna say 'oh the cass review didn't reject or downplay anything for being pro-trans!' #'some studies just weren't given much weight for being poor evidence! not our fault those were all studies with results trans people like!' #…….………….aight explain why zucker's findings are used for the 'percentage of trans kids who don't stay trans' stat instead of anyone else's. #would've been more scientifically accurate to say 'yeah we just don't know.' #'studies have been done but none of them fit our crack criteria sooooo *shrug*' #like COME ON at least PRETEND you're genuinely checking scientific correctness and not looking for excuses to weed out undesirable results #am also mad about zucker in particular because his is possibly the most famous bullshit study #quite bluntly if you're doing trans research and think 'yeah this one seems reasonable' you. are maybe not well-informed enough for the job #there's just no way you genuinely look at the research with an eye toward accurate science regardless of personal bias #and walk away thinking 'hm that zucker fellow seems reasonable. competent scientists will respect that citation.' #that's one or two steps above doing a review of vaccine science and seriously citing wakefield's mmr-causes-autism study #it doesn't matter what the rest of your review says people are gonna have OPINIONS on that bit #and outside anti-vaxxers most of those opinions will be 'are you actually the most qualified for this because ummmm.' #people who agree with everything else will still think someone more competent could've done a much better job #people who disagree with everything else will point to that as proof you don't know shit and why should we listen to you #anyway i'd love a hugeass trans science review with actual fucking standards hmu if you know of one cause this ain't it #……does tumblr still put a limit on how many tags you can include guess me and my tag essay are about to find out.

[the-kipsabian]

too tired to go on an actual rant about it

but kip sabian has arguably been the best feud orange cassidy has had while hes been holding the international title

#im gonna give a little credit to bcc as well sure but in their case that was way more about the two groups as a whole than just the two #sure the kip feud included others at times but it ultimately came down to just the two of them through and through #since then and before this there hasnt been a longterm meaningful feud in ocs title run. no you cant change my mind #im just brain worming about the match on sunday and i know im not gonna get what i want but yeah #just saying #dont @ me #wrestling musing #box thoughts

[fearandhatred]

.

#fearandhatred #on the canvas syllabus for one of my modules our ta included pre-tutorial instructions to form groups and bring an item to share #but the thing is i have no way of reaching any of my tutorial classmates because i don't even know who the hell they are #and i missed the first tutorial which was on zoom anyway so like. useless #also we haven't had a face to face lecture in the past two weeks. the first time was because of chinese new year #but the second time our professor didn't even give a reason so like what the fuck #anyway i don't think it's that big of a deal because this isn't like a graded presentation just class participation at most #but idk whether the rest of my classmates have already formed groups if they know each other (none of my friends are taking this module) #so yeah i have been mildly nauseous for the past 2 days because of this. thanks prof #anyway the tutorial is today! in 12 hours. we will see how it goes. maybe i'll just derealise and then i won't feel anything <3 #not giving af is not going well #hell week lol. goodnight #actually no fuck you there's a reason no other professor has ever done this and why it's always pre-allocated groups at the very least #how do you expect communication between students from like 500 different majors with no actual main communication channel #that is not how it works in our college bro i'm about to start insulting you in malay i'm so serious. bodoh

[our-reality]

doodled everyone's (my) favorite guy again 🙏 ft. a map of the markings on his torso + legs kinda not really

#python #art tag #i tried to fill the empty space w triangles HELP #also the snake marking on its left leg extends all the was down to his ankle and there's a head at the end :) #well. two heads. cuz i said so fuck you #there's nothing else on his right leg other than probably more scars #ask to tag #cuz the star looking things are gunshot wounds. not only does it have natural body markings but any scars he receives become permanent #the non-natural scars are the ones surrounded by a thinner line btw. including its top surgery scars 🎉 #also teenage disaster lyric go haha #yeah HWBABEBQNDNRKAN

[chipped-chimera]

FOR THE TIRED PEOPLE: Some new research about Chronic + ADHD(inattentive) related fatigue, and BCAAs

[DISCLAIMER // I AM NOT A DOCTOR. I AM NOT A MEDICAL PRACTITIONER. I AM NOT A DIETICIAN. I'm just a big tired nerd with way too much time on my hands who likes science. I am however, sharing this because this could potentially help others and BCAAs are already safe for human consumption, widely used and easily accessible. If you are uncertain about adding BCAAs to your diet please talk to your doctor first. There are also some medications which interact negatively with BCAA's. Do your research. Also generally be careful about taking medical advice from the internet! ]

I was going to post about something else but I went down the rabbit hole of explaining this study I read and decided that no, this needed it's own thing or it's gonna be a mile long.

So in one of my usual weekly fatigue breakdowns where I was scraping the internet for any kind of information that might point out something I've SURELY missed to explain why I feel the way I do, I stumbled across this study published last year (2022) -

[ The relationship between central fatigue and Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder of the inattentive type ]

The TL;DR on the paper - our previous assumptions about the tryptophan-serotonin system might be wrong (tryptophan being the precursor for a bunch of stuff, including melatonin which is the sleepy chemical - aka why people say drink warm milk before bed to help sleep, that's tryptophan) what was previously assumed was reducing tryptophan = bad because it could affect serotonin production.

Testing in rats (so grain of salt here) indicated that higher levels of tryptophan =/= higher levels of serotonin and when reducing the level of free tryptophan in the bloodstream it returned to baseline. High levels of tryptophan were associated with fatigue and inattention, and rats on a tryptophan deficient diet by contrast took longer to reach a state of exhaustion. I'm skipping over a bunch of stuff but basically - research is now pointing to both Chronic Fatigue and ADHD related fatigue being related to Central Nervous System Fatigue which up until now, has only really been associated with the fatigue athletes experience when exercising really hard (now just picture me doing jack shit and feeling like that every day. Yeah). I've only just stared to see bits and pieces pop up about this recently but nothing in relation to this tryptophan study.

Anyway, the thing about BCAAs: BCAAs (Branched Chain Amino Acids) are currently used to reduce the uptake of tryptophan in the brain for better performance in athletes, help with reduction of exercise fatigue (CNS fatigue) and muscle building. You can pretty easily find BCAA's added to protein-shakes or in it's own kind of supplement. It also occurs naturally in some foods (Beef, Chicken, Eggs, Lentils, Chickpeas, Brown Rice etc.) so it is absolutely safe to consume. It's also generally fairly affordable (especially compared to the lengthy process of treatment + medications that might not even work and you have to keep changing them, yes I am talking from personal experience).

Again, this is all very new and absolutely needs so much more research because up until now, no one has really been sure what causes Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but tests have shown that those suffering CFS demonstrate similar activation of their muscles as fatigued athletes - as in they could activate them but not to their full capacity. This connection is only considered 'possible' and it might take a good few years before we can say anything with certainty.

But as an extremely tired bitch who is extremely tired of being extremely fucking tired, I am sharing this because it's easy to get, safe, and affordable and if you're like me you're about ready to try anything. And it's not another goddamn pill (I'm on 14 a day).

Also for the ADHDers specifically: protein rich diets are usually advised for us because it helps with the metabolism of stimulants, and can help with softening medication crashes when they wear off. So adding a protein shake with BCAAs to your morning routine might be a good idea. Or just any protein shake in general.

There can be side effects to taking BCAAs, but it is considered rare and this depends entirely on the person. Cross check existing medications, talk to your doc etc. if you are not 100% certain adding BCAAs to your diet is possible. Stay safe peeps.

#science #ADHD #Chronic Fatigue Syndrome #did I put enough disclaimers on this to say I am just sharing research #NOT A DOCTOR #DON'T TAKE MEDICAL ADVICE FROM THE INTERNET #or at least look at what you're being told and go do your own research #basically what this is lmao - my extensive research #disability #the fact they're starting to figure out Chronic Fatigue and ADHD fatigue is related to CNS fatigue is amazing #it means we might be getting closer to a solution #but also science is slow as hell #and well ... BCAAs are right there #idk it's worth a shot to me? #only thing I'm gonna be watching for is mood shit given the serotonin interaction but I'm also on TWO antidepressants including a SSRI #so haha good luck trying to reduce serotonin in MY brain #I'm getting my protein with BCAAs order today and was gonna talk about other diet shit but it was getting too long talkin about this study #Long Covid #could also be a group that might benefit from this given it's considered to be basically Chronic Fatigue or highly related #yeah I am a fucking nerd. my nerd level - goes and reads research papers WHILE DRUNK. yeah.

[stewyhosseini-bf]

You know what I love. Is that in most fics written after the s2 finale but before s3 came out, whenever Kendall and Stewy meet again it’s always Stewy being super pissed off at him for not telling him beforehand and making a total surprise move and Kendall being apologetic and kind of closed off and then in the actual show Stewy sends him a wooden horse and then when Kendall goes to apologize for not clueing him in, goes well it’s fine I got a ticket to the greatest freak show on earth :))) <3 while they both grin at each other

#don’t get me wrong I think those fics are great #how could anyone predict what Jesse Armstrong would come up with here #but it’s so funny that the fic versions are honestly often more brutal towards each other than the actual show versions #and I see this trend in general with the two of them not just with post s2 fics #that they’re always sniping at each other but honestly they really aren’t lmao. stewy is just 100% honest all the time which sometimes #includes saying stuff like ‘and bro people don’t like you’ or ‘i am spiritually and emotionally and ethically behind whoever wins’ but like #at the end of the day he’s never mean about it quite the opposite I think #like not to be. I’m not trying to uwu-ify them and I’m not down paying fic writers’ writing ability #the fics are amazing ! but I guess it just always takes me by surprise when rewatching and seeing how they act with each other. kind of #cautious and understanding and mostly kind of. sweet? and super honest . sometimes super fucked it but that’s honestly? more Kendall than #stewy #thinking of 2x10 here with the severed dicks comment lmao. the WORST insult Stewy gives Kendall is ‘puscillanimous piece of fools gold’ #and ‘fucking silver-spoon fucking asshole’ #oh also Kendall calls him a pussy too. at some point in 1x9 but yeah #don’t know what my #point is lmaoo just observations #oh wait no also I forgot stewy saying Kendall is irrelevant which. OUCH. but again that’s not that snipe-y or mean it’s just #him again being. very honest lmao . to a degree that is mean and hurtful but I mean yeah. well

[ajdrawshq]

im glad that despite being on the backburner for . years. i can still think of my main aus like i never stopped :] kh on the brain forever

#looked thru one of my note for the pmd au and immediately got new ideas for it . i am so fucking back #made me wanna expand whats going on w Terra n Aqua since they dont have much going on besides. well. be legendaries basically #(they take the roles of rescue team Groudon n Kyogre as well as Latios n Latias in psmd. n technically also Entei for Terra in psmd) #that seems like a lot but i know what im doing i swear 👍 #maybe i should find a way to include the khdr kids since i havent gotten to that yet.. could be fun #oh ! also been working on ways to connect Terra w Ansem n Xemnas :] probably gonna be more canon-esque than most other things #but it kinda works w the rescue team part of the timeline #and i really need to figure out how exactly to work around Xehanort bc of what he can and does do both in canon and taking his role here.. #ironically these things are also backed up by pmd iq groups . now that i think abt it #i also need yo do more work on the psmd part of the timeline since its arguably the most altered part so far #since i dont really cover gates or rescue team anyway . explorers and super just connect a lil too well #i mean tbf gates and super are way too easy to also connect to each other bc like. come on. #but who would be the duo for that .. or maybe it could be earlier in the pmd timeline than it is .. hm. #that Could line up a something else i have planned actually. could be funky. theres two (2) different duos i have in mind #maybe more depending on who else i could slap in here #ok yeah. i have objectively the funniest duo to put in gates. thats happening now <3

[butchviking]

Analysis of top 3 Gerard pics?? I expect you to be insane about this.

ok so i am always saying i hate doing "top ____" lists i can never really stand by them i change my mind all the time because i just love everything so much. THAT SAID here are 3 that came 2 mind right away. i cant say that i have much analysis tho idk ive already talked about two of them a LOT lmao.

#1 of course Thee image THE gerard way photo THE cheerard photo that ive had as my phone bg since the moment it dropped and have in tiny little stickers all around my home and have in fact stuck in little corners in many establisments across north england. im not analysing cheerard rn ive written enough on that subject but i think this is easily one of the most darling gerard images ever. and yes i know the photographer later released a much clearer cleaned-up version but this grainy original will have my heart forever and ever. hey remmeber when i put this photo on a cake and got to consume what i love that was so neat. shes with me forever now

#2 i dont even know why i thought of this so immediately or so strongly but i did and i think of it very often. i dont have any analysis for this its just neat and i think he's neat and i love that he just does shit like this. also this is how i end up looking on almost any given night out lol

#3 im obsessed w this one i think about it all the time i think about it every time i listen to danger days or conventional weapons it encapsulates so much. he is a christ figure 2 me. i know ive posted these two together a million times but it's a direct parallel in my mind to this still from the jesus christ superstar 2012 arena tour

will you touch will you mend me christ won't you touch you can cure me christ... heal yourselves!! though i know how much you hate this are you gonna be the one to save us from the black and hopeless feeling.. if you all keep believing i'll keep believing.. hail hail cause the king is gone... you understand.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS (ie a selection of SOME of the other images that easily could have made the top 3 if youd asked me some other time some other day

#there are many others i could have included as contenders but tumblr will not let me add more images... probably 4 the best 😔 #really just went w my gut here. couldnt tell u why that second one is there. #actually would probably switch it out for the big smiley one i put near the end but. oh well #in fact yeah. switch those two. GOD THIS IS WHY I HATE PICKING FAVOURITES OF ANYTHING 😭😭 I LOVE THEM ALL... #ask #anonymous

[gwydionae]

I love that my sister randomly sent me a video of my nephew playing his cello, having taught himself the short ditty that plays over each live action One Piece title card, and the only "dialogue" is her going "ARRRR" like a pirate at the end (with me nephew making a GRRR face in response).

(BTW this is a "watch out for lots of One Piece posts sorry not sorry" warning, lol.)

#delete later #everything will be tagged 'one piece' and live action will include 'opla' #as per usual #look sanji's about to solo the train to enies lobby and i'm really feeling it right now ok #water 7 is such a good arc #so far the vague feelings i had from like two decades ago are holding strong #alabasta was great (if a little too drawn out in the anime) #skypiea started fine but got boring REAL fast #didn't even remember the davy back stuff so yeah that says enough XD #and water 7 has been fantastic #let's see if enies lobby holds up #and if i'm as bored with thriller bark (up to the end anyway) as i was the first time XD #i know i liked the ace stuff but don't remember much other than YOU KNOW #and then fishman island was so bad i peaced out before finishing it #...hoping that goes better this time but i'm aware that sanji gets... bad... after the time skip... #well at least i know he's better by whole cake island... #didn't have that assurance last time #ANYWAY HERE GOES

[airenyah]

it's the way i have twice as many bl series as non-bl series in my thesis dkdjdjjdjd

#it's also the way ohm is involved in like half of them djdjjfjff #and p'aof directed 1/3 of them kfjfjdjdjf #i have 9 different dramas in total and ohm is in 4 #airenyah vs her ba thesis #airenyah plappert #also for most of them you can't even tell it's gay from just my chosen examples #the only one that is explicitly gay in my thesis is star in my mind #for the other ones if you only read my chose dialogue with the most important context you wouldn't really clock them as gay just from that #POSSIBLY bad buddy too #but only if i do end up including dialogue from the our skyy special too #(having my eye on the 'i like it' 'the stars?' 'i like you' scene bc that's difficult to translate due to a lack of pronouns in thai) #(like if i include that scene it'll be explicitly gay in my thesis) #ok no you might be able to guess that bbs is gay too if you're well versed in tropes tbh #but yeah the two examples i have aren't explicitly gay and in fact sound kinda straight from my description lmao

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Also I'm really into Venom now. Good night!

#if i manage to sleep instead of reading venom fanfic for three hours lile it did two days ago #i have WORK tomorrow (afternoon and it's easy) #god i've been accumulating fandoms haven't i #.... i need to add bond q eddie and venom to the little room in my head where all the blorbos live #it's a long story but y'know the bedtime daydream to fall asleep to? #sometimes mine include this really specific scenario #where i provide a big room and lots of food #and put all my little guys (gender neutral) in there like it's a party #and i materialise everything they need (like ingredients to make potions or sparring mats) #it's fun because it's crack and low stakes and also i put my two main ocs in there #i should probably also add vtm meredith she would love to talk to canon herself #anyway yeah the room is CROWDED but it's fine i can make it bigger if i want <3 #they all have a room to sleepover after the little party btw. if you even care. #my favourite interaction is imagining all these fucked up people most of them good at fighting showing each other how they fight #like. tell me hornet would not fuck shit up with ahsoka's lightsabers. the different rules based on the different universes #and the normal ones watching from the sidelines worried about their safety #god i fucking love that daydream #it's an upgrade from when i was a kid and i imagined all the characters i liked sleeping in hammocks in my room #and one of the warrior cats cats would come in and plop down next to their buddies #and we would all go to sleep and all would be well #also i like putting meredith (& to a certain extent cécilia) in that room as a sort of social lubricant #like meredith is very social and by god she will make this weirdass party a good one. yes even for the guy brooding in the corner #meredith making some people realise that being aspec is a thing. meredith comparing potions with severus. #meredith pairing people up like 'oh yeah he's also a world class hacker. yeah the guy with literal red hair' #'oh there are other chosen ones in the corner. the two blondes yeah' #also. even more self indulgent than the rest but. bbc sherlock tries to deduce something and then some magical impossible bullshit #he could not have known about magic. his deduction sucked. he would be sooo mad #who would it be funnier for to piss him off about it? #ANYWAY. off to go daydream about it now. bye bye good night #wow i have a ramble tag now

[abyssmalice]

As a Harbinger, the subject of morals bears a more complicated answer.

The title is indifferent to things like age or innocence - for the sake of duty, she had to dirty her hands. It is a strange situation of needing to love the world to the point that she  should be willing to do anything and everything for it, from the best to the worst of actions. It is her Tsaritsa’s ambition, the path she laid for everyone who wants to walk with her to take down the stars.

And of course, Tonia doesn’t give two shits about how the Tsaritsa regards the world. There is no doubt that the Archon has very respectable goals, but the means never justify the ends—the good labor to foolishness, to an extremity of cruelty and monstrosity.

How unfortunate, that her hands must be so bloody for this bright, cold war.

But knowing that, it is all the more important that Tonia remains firm in her moralities, personal and general. To know what is good, what is right - what is bad, what is wrong. What is beyond these stifling categories, what is both, either, neither.

And so, for all the sins she perceives - indeed, she will acknowledge them as so. For no matter how terrible of a person she is, it would be worse if she couldn’t recognize the horrible extent of her deeds. Certainly, she will be blase about it, she may not harbor as much guilt as she should—but she will never, ever, say with sincerity that she is in the right.

#headcanons | (without love it cannot be seen); #(THE RETURN OF FLOWER'S HC POSTS THAT ARE SO LONG SHE NEEDS SPLIT EM INTO TWO AND THEY STILL END FEELING A LITTLE LENGTHY ANYWAY) #(anyway anyway this is the more important half of the morals hc imo) #(the other one too but this part? important - bc she Knows shes not doing good deeds like Ever. even her inconvenient mischief included) #(which is to say while shes a brat shes not doing it Obliviously - she knows shes being annoying at best and harmful at worse) #(and while she'll pull up a variety of childish excuses - thats just a lie. and she Knows shes lying. she knows its all unjustified) #(and if truly prompt she WILL admit its all unjustified nonsense with no good outcome) #(which is basically to say she has a sense of morals in that ''yeah its bad but at least i know and will ADMIT its bad im not a hypocrite'' #(a hypocrite in the sense that what shes doing is good or for the greater good. shes under no illusions the fatui are squeaky clean heroes) #(they have and will do terrible things for their duty. and toni will not hide behind an excuse of perfect justice) #(no matter how well meaning in the end - some things are just not right to do. and toni will admit that.)