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jelzorz · 5 months

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164.

As per @raayllum's request. Takes place/makes references to the fruit (~7 years post-series end, aka everyone is a fully consenting adult) which is not required reading but does explain what Rayla is talking about and is my justification for the existence of this ship.

"It's weird."

"No, it isn't."

"It is."

"Callum." Rayla lets out a breath. She likes to think she's been pretty patient about this, but it's been a long couple of months, and she's growing bored of managing Callum's expectations for him. To an extent, she understands: first Claudia had come home, and rather than be sentenced for her crimes, Ez had pardoned her, and then, somehow, had started courting her, and Rayla had thought that was weird too at first, but the fit Callum had thrown was pointless at best, and stupid and immature at worst. Rayla is his partner, his wife now, before she is anything else, and she's defended him in the past for his poor decision making and his poorer behaviour, but she will not defend him for his spat with Ez.

He has, thankfully, grown past it, but the reason he put his head back on straight is the new thing he can't get past, and they're not even dressed for dinner yet but Rayla is already exhausted by his inability to process the unexpected.

He pouts at her, helpless, confused, but Rayla would have more sympathy for him if he hadn't spent the last few months in a cold war with Ezran. She will not forgive him if he has another one with Soren and Opeli.

"What's the problem, exactly?" she demands, her patience well and truly wearing thin. "Is there something wrong with them being together?"

"I just—" Callum sputters, his brain obviously stuck on the word together like it's hammer caught between the gears of his brain. "It's—Soren—"

"You had no issues when Soren was dating Corvus."

"No, it's not—" He huffs. "With Opeli?"

"Yes. With Opeli. And?"

He flounders for a moment longer, looking more and more a like a fish gasping for air. "It's... I dunno, Rayla, the thought that they—they—"

"Oh, it's the sex, is it?"

Callum slams his mouth shut and goes so red that it takes all of Rayla's willpower not to dissolve into hysterics right there and then. Admittedly, she'd had the fortune of being told straight—by Opeli, when she'd gone investigating after the tension between all her friends had begun to piss her off. Callum and Ez were already refusing to talk to each other last spring, and when Opeli and Soren started to avoid each other too, Rayla had put her foot down and ambushed her in her office before the situation could grow anymore out of hand.

Then... Well. This summer hasn't been easy for them. She will not let Callum make it worse.

"Don't say it like that." Callum squeezes his eyes shut and rubs at his temples. "It's—Opeli's like a mom, y'know?"

Rayla snorts at him. "Mums have sex, Callum."

"And Soren is like—he's like one of us. It's—it's kind of—" He grimaces, and for what it's worth, looks genuinely frustrated at himself for not being able to reconcile it. Rayla gives him some grace for that. "Look, I don't want you to think I'm not, like, happy for them? It's just... Opeli's been High Cleric my whole life, and she's been looking out for us since we were teenagers, and she's so much older that—"

Rayla stops him there with a scowl. "Is there something wrong with ageing women, Callum?"

"What? No! That's not—"

"Is she not allowed want things, Callum?"

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Is Soren not allowed to think she's attractive just because she's older?"

"Rayla." He bows his head, resigned, exhausted, ashamed. "There's nothing wrong with them being together," he concedes. "Like. They're both adults. It's their decision. And after everything they've both done, and after what happened this summer... If they're happy, that's all that matters. My brain just... needs time, I guess." Then, quietly, and perhaps a little pathetically, he adds, "Sorry."

Rayla blinks at him, pleasantly surprised by his maturity after the months without it. "I get it," she says at last. "It threw me for a loop too, but at the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. They're still our friends. Our family. We'd still do anything for them, right?"

Callum nods childishly, and Rayla offers him a smile at last and pats his cheek. "Let's go have dinner with them. Think you can do that without having an aneurysm?"

He gives her a look. "Give me some credit."

Rayla laughs at that, loops her arm through his, and presses a kiss into his cheek. "Good," she says with a chuckle, "because Soren's been bugging me about this double date for weeks. Let's just have a good time with our friends, okay?"

Callum takes a breath but he smiles, if a little nervously, and nods. "Yeah. Sounds good."

#rayllum #sorpeli #callum not being able to process sorpeli or claudiez is the funniest part of both of these crackships #once again i will fight everyone for this ship #ageing 👏 women 👏 can 👏 be 👏 desirable 👏 too 👏#in anticipation

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raayllum · 10 months

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When he was little, Callum had always thought Aunt Amaya and his mom were invincible. Strong, powerful, trading quips as well as blows whenever they sparred with each other. He’d clung harder to the idea after his father died, needing something to hold onto: the certainty that he wouldn’t lose another parent, because he couldn’t. Mom was too strong and even stronger when Aunt Amaya was with her, and everyone would come home from the trip into Xadia perfectly fine.

Two days after the funeral, Aunt Amaya had cut her hair and left to defend the Breach (“They may still be more prices to pay for our trespass,” she’d signed to King Harrow) without looking back.

His aunt is not invincible, and while Callum had worried about her during the Battle of the Storm Spire, eyes scanning the battlefield to keep her in his sight, his heart had been torn; half with Ezran on dragonback, and half with Rayla in the clouds, watching over another dragon who couldn’t defend himself.

Callum isn’t sure why he expected it to be any different now, as the creatures close in around them in the Great Bookery. He keeps one eye on the corrupted banthers, for lack of a better term, slippery rungs hanging from their snappsih maws as they advance, prowling.

Soon it’s chaos, Amaya’s shield wedged in one of the walls, and Rayla losing enough ground she has to abandon her newfound bow for her trusty blades. Callum has been doing okay — it seems the creatures are most vulnerable to magic, which makes sense given that they are magical, in a sense — but he can feel his strength and stamina waning. Amaya had said something of just having to wait till morning and the creatures will dissipate or retreat back to the wound they came from, but they won’t make it at this rate. Won’t last long enough.

His wrist bends painfully when he has to block a banther’s lunge by using his staff, tossing the creature off with an electric blast that sends it flying, but there are still two more, and—

Amaya lets out the rare yell and his head snaps to the sound, his aunt limping as she goes for her shield in the corner, her sunforge blade laying feet away on the floor. He starts towards her, lifting his staff, her pleading eyes catching his for just a second—

But then Rayla screams and he pivots without thinking, fury building in his veins. He gets just a glimpse of the banther charging toward her, helpless, hurting, and—He doesn’t even have to say say a trigger word before a fistful of lighting crashes into the banther’s face and knocks it off course.

He pants for a second, knuckles aching and head buzzed, before he rushes to her, frantically looking her over for injuries. He finds her sword lying side ways and pushes it into her hands, helps her stand.

Then there’s another yell behind him, and Rayla gives him a tiny push, her upper lip split and curving. “Go help your aunt,” she urges, and he sends a blast of wind that way before he goes to help Amaya, too.

Later, on Zubeia’s back, Callum helps bind the bandages around Amaya’s arm from where the banther sliced her open. He waits, curious and a little ashamed (and then a little angry at being ashamed), to see if she’ll comment on his choice.

She doesn’t, eyes settled with understanding as she reaches up to ruffle his hair.

“Just make up with her sooner rather than later,” Amaya signs, nodding to where Rayla sits with Stella by one of the further dragon spikes, eyes distantly on the horizon line.

Callum’s heart lodges in his throat.

Easier said than done... but so was punching a banther in the face.

He gets up and sits next to her, watching softly while she fusses and patches up his hand. And so, so worth it.

insp by the dnd skit forever ago, in which callum abandons defending an innocent barkeep in order to protect rayla instead when she gets attacked

#the royal family of katolis #snake boi callum #rayllum #s5 #arc 2 #fic #ficlet #my fic #headcanons #s5 speculation #s5 spoilers #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers

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numptypylon · 2 years

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I had this idea of a reunion where's Rayla is staying invisible, ashamed or scared, and Callum reaching out, and then she fades into view from the touch of his fingers.

I ended up also writing a oneshot to go with it: Completely on Ao3

#rayllum #rayla #callum #the dragon prince #tdp #fanart #numpty art tag

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jheseltheunswerving · 1 year

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Rayla: How Selflessness Becomes Selfish

I had every intention of writing this before season 4 came out. Unfortunately, school and life got in the way, and I just didn’t have the time. However, I am writing this without having seen season 4, so please keep all spoilers out of the comments and reblogs.

Rayla is one of many people’s favorite characters. She’s cool, she’s beautiful, and she has a Scottish accent. But I wanted to get deeper into her character.

Morals and Responsibility

Throughout the show, Rayla is shown to be a protector, a fact that contradicts her training as an assassin. Even still, her being a protector is greatly influenced by her Moonshadow Elf ideals.

The Moonshadow elves and their ideals are introduced early on in the show where we see a group of them making essentially a bloodpact to avenge the death of the dragon king and his son. The planned assassinations of Harrow and Ezran are not only believed to be deserved but also believed to be vital to achieving justice. As Runaan eloquently puts it, “Life is precious. We take it, but we do not take it lightly.”

This is a moral that Rayla displays. She will only take a life if she feels it is necessary or deserved. Hence why she spares Marcos’ life in the very start of the show. It isn’t until she meets Callum, and he points out the revenge cycle, that these morals begin to be… altered.

As soon as the egg of the dragon prince is discovered, Rayla commits herself to defending Callum and Ezran. She smiles at Ez and offers to go back into the tower with Callum to stop her people from killing his and Ez’s father.

Rayla assumes the actions of her peers are her responsibility. When she first tells Callum and Ezran about her parents, she says she’s so ashamed, and feels her journey to return the egg to the dragon queen as one of redemption. In other words, Rayla feels she needs to redeem herself because of her parents' alleged betrayal.

She assumes this kind of second-hand responsibility from the other assassins as well. Throughout season 1 and well into season 2, Rayla is incapable of telling the boys what happened to their father. Even when Rayla asserts, “I didn’t kill anyone!” Corvus’ words illustrate exactly what she believes:

“Your leader did! What’s the difference?”

The difference is Rayla tried to stop him. She tried to get Runaan to call off the mission, and he wouldn’t listen. Now King Harrow is dead, and Rayla cannot bring herself to tell her new friends.

And this actually becomes a problem later. More specifically, Rayla’s morals become a problem. Although she can’t find the strength to tell Callum and Ezran the truth, she still needs them to trust her. She offers to carry the egg, but when she realizes giving it to her would be a gesture of trust, she can’t let herself take it. She refuses to accept the boys’ trust until she’s told the truth. Even Callum tells her, “You don’t need to do this right now, Rayla.”

“Yes, I do,” she asserts.

No, you don’t. Wait until you’re in a safer place.

But she can’t. She has to do what “the right thing” in her mind is before she can, and it nearly costs them everything.

This comes back to haunt her at the end of the first season. The guilt of dropping the egg is weighing on Rayla and she will not let herself believe it was anyone’s fault but her own, even though Callum was also arguing with her.

“I let you both down. I let the world down.”

Rayla has a lot of internalized guilt that she does not let herself let go. It might have been taught by her Moonshadow elf culture or it may have been something she learned on her own, but either way, it has shaped how she thinks of herself and how she handles situations.

Emotional Vulnerability

Like all characters, Rayla has moments of weakness. How she handles those moments is what differs her from other characters. The first true glimpse of this we get is after Callum told his aunt that Rayla is a bloodthirsty monster. Rayla says to Callum, “I can’t believe you’re such a jerk.” Her hood’s on, her back is turned, slouching away from the boys with her arms wrapped around her knees.

This kind of standoffish behavior is displayed in her again the very next episode where Rayla admits to being afraid of water. “I guess I was afraid of being afraid.” This is another example of how the Moonshadow elf ideology can be harmful. Rayla comes from a culture where weakness and vulnerability are things for which to be ashamed. A culture that ghosts their own people if there is even the slightest notion of that person having betrayed them — without any chance of explanation. Although she doesn’t know it, that is exactly what happened to her parents.

When she opens up about this, Callum tries to comfort her by putting a hand on her shoulder, but she pulls away. Rayla does not like to be touched when she feels vulnerable. This is a very interesting detail about her, especially as her and Callum’s relationship develops.

One of Rayla's main conflicts in season 1 and 2 is hesitation and struggling to do the right thing. She knows what she’s supposed to be and what she’s supposed to do, but it hasn’t felt right to her. And that causes her to doubt herself.

This becomes a problem during their trek up the Cursed Caldera. Rayla doubts her ability to carry out Callum’s plan. Even when she is successful in carrying it out, she’s already in a state of panic, so when thousands of tiny slugs start crawling up her body, she’s understandably shaken. In a moment of weakness and desperation, Rayla calls out for help. Callum uses Aspiro to blow away the tiny slug monsters, and she gives him a subtle angry look.

Rayla becomes defensive when she’s vulnerable. Her body language becomes closed off and she doesn’t speak as much. This is shown again after Rayla sees the illusion of the mummy turning to dust. She tells everyone, “There was no one there.” This may have been more to protect the kids than herself, as she admits to Callum in confidence what she saw. Interestingly, Callum doesn’t put a hand on her shoulder here, or try to reach out to her at all. He simply asks, “Are you okay?” and lets her open up. And she does. A little.

That’s the thing about Rayla. She doesn’t like being caught off her guard. If she’s going to open up, it’s gonna be on her terms. And this includes being touched.

Right before the Wonderstorm when Rayla is blaming herself for the egg’s fading, Ezran reaches out to her. “You tried, Rayla. You’re so good. And brave.” Here Rayla accepts Ezran’s hug. Though, there was a bit of warning in his approach, and he was also tearing up. This is another notable detail about her character. Although Rayla does not like being touched when she feels vulnerable, she does reach out to people she cares about when they’re the ones who are upset. She does it here with Ezran, and later after Callum finally finds out about Harrow, Rayla hugs him. Rayla is not devoid of empathy. She is capable of being there for people for support or as a shoulder to lean on. But she lacks foresight in how her own actions could affect her loved ones emotionally.

Still, Rayla does get better with being vulnerable in increments, particularly when it means helping Callum. At the end of season 2, she clings to him while he’s in his coma. She even goes as far as to nearly admit her feelings, only pulling away at the last second when he wakes up. But that isn’t the last time she’s vulnerable for him. She opens up again to Sol Regem, offering her hand to Callum and admitting she cannot finish their mission without him. However, what both of these scenes have in common is that Rayla is in control. Rayla is opening up on her own terms, no one is pressuring her to do it. It is not that Rayla is incapable of being vulnerable or opening up, it’s that she has to do it by her own choice.

And this is where hers and Callum’s love languages clash. Rayla hates being touched when she’s vulnerable, but it’s Callum’s instinct to reach out to her when she’s upset. The day after visiting the Silvergrove and finding out she’s been ghosted, Callum approaches her about how she must be feeling. But once again, Rayla keeps her back to him and says as little as possible — even denying that the previous day was difficult for her. When Callum pries and approaches her on the ambler, she snaps at him and insists that she’s fine. Finally, when he hears her crying in the oasis he reaches out to her again, only for her to smack him in the face with a pillow and run away.

And even when she tells him to leave her alone, that “she doesn’t want him to see her like this,” he still puts a hand on her shoulder. Of course, she immediately pulls away, once again shadowing that she does not like to be touched when she’s upset. To her, it’s like someone breaking through her armor.

Callum reaches out to her again, and again, she steps away. Neither of them are in the wrong here. Rayla does not like being touched when she’s upset, but it’s Callum’s instinct to comfort her the same way he’s been comforted in the past — with hugs and reassurance that he’s not alone.

Their love languages conflict because their upbringings do. Callum comes from a family that respects each others’ feelings and encourages free expression with games such as “big feelings time”. Rayla comes from a culture that denies fear and weakness and praises hardened hearts. And all those pent up feelings, at least in Rayla, manifest as anger and defensiveness. She closes herself off, she snaps at Callum. She acts like she is alone — like she has to deal with her feelings, alone.

By not letting the people who love her help her, she’s not only pushing them away, but she’s hurting them. When all they want to do is be there for her. It’s only when Callum snaps back and tells her to shut up that she allows him to talk. Callum has to talk her out of her hurt feelings before she finally lets him take her hands.

Of course, Rayla isn’t required to open up if she doesn’t want to. Callum simply isn’t used to that kind of behavior. Because of his family, he’s used to people being open and honest about their feelings. And he does slowly learn not to touch Rayla when she’s upset, but to let her come to him in her own time.

Where Selflessness Becomes Selfish

Rayla often puts herself in danger to save the lives of others. She runs out of the oasis into the Midnight Desert to save one of the mounts. She saves Nyx from the soulfangs, and she sacrifices herself to save Zym at the end of season 3.

But wait. Aren’t these all selfless acts? Well, yes they are, but they’re also selfish to the people who care about her. However, these may be excusably selfish. Obviously, saving the mount and Nyx were noble acts, and saving Zym was necessary. But there are times where Rayla is self-sacrificing for no reason.

Initially, Callum and Rayla planned for the group to leave the Storm Spire with Zym before Viren’s army arrived. Then Rayla said she was going to stay at the Spire to fight a hopeless battle by herself and die. And all she says to Callum after this reveal is “Goodbye”.

This is a scene that actually makes me angry. Rayla accuses Callum of “not knowing her at all”. Which is an extremely unfair thing for her today just days after he described her to Nyx as “selfless, strong and caring. She does what’s right even if it puts her own life in danger.” Callum loves Rayla, even if at this point he hadn’t said it yet. For her to suggest that he doesn’t know her is honestly a pretty selfish thing for her to do. And then — she runs away again. Just like she always does when her “armor” is breached, as if he touched her. And this is where that behavior is a problem, because she’s avoiding a conversation about a decision that affects Callum just as well as her.

That isn’t to say Callum was right in how he handled their argument, but understand where he is coming from. The girl he loves is willingly and pointlessly sacrificing herself for a hopeless battle and expecting him to be alright with that. And the last thing she was ever going to say to him was “Goodbye”. Her death would not have even served a purpose. She was going to throw her life away by herself for — as both her and Callum put it — “redemption”. A redemption that she didn’t need to earn, and even if she did, wouldn’t it be better to earn it through helping to protect Zym?

Rayla values certain ethics more than she values herself, and that turns into selfishness when it hurts people who care about her and she acts like it shouldn’t.

Again, though, these acts of self sacrifice are sometimes necessary. Rayla becoming the last dragon guard concludes her “honor” arc satisfyingly. She doesn’t do it out of cowardice. She isn’t trying to stay out of the heat of battle. She believes the enemy will make it up to the Spire and that she will have to defend Zym. And she’s right.

Sacrificing herself to save Zym was not unnecessary or selfish. It was a genuine act of self sacrifice for the greater good, and it is a testament to Rayla’s courage and heart. I do not believe she was thinking of herself or anyone else when she did it. Only of keeping Zym safe.

Unfortunately, that is not the end of the story. It continues in the canon graphic novel taking place between season 3 and 4. Rayla’s understandably upset about losing Runaan and her parents without fully knowing what happened to them. Callum reached out to her at first, before pulling his hand back. Once again, his instinct is to reach out to her, but he knows Rayla doesn’t work that way. If she’s going to open up about her feelings, it will be by her own volition.

So instead of reaching out to her or trying to convince her that her feelings are misplaced, he apologizes, saying he doesn’t like seeing her upset. And that little bit of space he gives works. She goes to him and leans on his shoulder, hugs him, and even agrees to try going on vacation.

Unfortunately, the supposed vacation does not work, and only further reminds Rayla of what is bothering her. She runs off from the group, still distressed about not knowing. Not knowing what happened to Viren, Runaan or her parents. The uncertainty is what’s troubling her.

She removes herself from the group and Callum follows her. Though to his credit, he does almost immediately offer to leave, and she’s the one who tells him to stay.

During their time alone, Rayla does open up a little about losing the people she loves. Then Callum makes the mistake of putting a hand on her arm while saying he knows how she feels.

I may be biased here, but Callum was once again valid in his argument. When Rayla snaps that he at least knows what happened to the people he’s lost, he says, “Yes, I know what happened to them! One of the people you’re so worried about killed my stepfather!”

His stance in the next panel tells me he’s been holding on to that one for a long time, but he didn’t want to say it because he knows Runaan is important to Rayla. It isn’t until she insinuates that she has it worse that he lets it out.

I’m not saying either one of them is in the wrong. Both of their feelings are valid. Rayla has every right to want to know what happened to her loved ones. But she shouldn't be taking that out on Callum. And it especially irks me that at the end of the argument, she accuses him of not having “moved on” from the tensions between humans and elves that are still very much a recent thing. A thing that has affected him personally, but he’s still able to look past that tension because he loves her. He loves Rayla, but she has a bad habit of forgetting that.

At the end of the graphic novel, Rayla leaves Callum to search for Viren — even after she promised him they would go together. This is the choice that inspired this analysis. She did it because she loves Callum and she did not want to risk losing him, but as we know from the clips for season 4, she’d be gone for two years.

This is where selflessness becomes selfish. For the entire book, Rayla’s been upset because of the not knowing. Then she did the same thing to Callum, without any forethought that it would make him feel exactly how she feels about losing her loved ones.

This is another example of how she forgets Callum loves her. Rayla does not understand her own worth. This results in selfless acts of self-sacrifice, but it also results in selfish acts of self-sacrifice. There comes a point where her actions are not only unnecessary, but harmful to the people who love her. It is a great example of character writing — using her greatest strength as her greatest flaw. But from an in-story perspective, Rayla needs to better put herself in the minds of others and gauge how her actions would affect them. Not thinking helped when it came to saving the dragon prince, but it was ultimately selfish when abandoning Callum.

#the dragon prince #dragon prince #rayla #rayla the dragon prince #rayla and callum #callum #callum the dragon prince #callum dragon prince #rayla dragon prince #analysis #character analysis #moonshadow elves

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yourtwistedlies · 5 months

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THATS RIGHT

your girl val binged the entire first season of the dragon prince

potential spoilers under the cut

Lord Viren is a snake

ratty little scumbag

i don’t like him ONE BIT

but let’s move onto more pressing matters while i get back to that later

the king is dead *jazz hands*

okay so i have a sneaking suspicion that the letter he gave callum was a letter that said he was to inherit the throne or something like that. though, isn’t that already obvious since he’s the oldest child of the king (even if he’s his stepson)? or does it only apply if you are blood related to the king, which means ezran would inherit it? dunno.

also i do acknowledge that rayla was hiding the fact that harrow died to protect them, but like, TELL THEM. even if they would have felt really sad and stuff ᵗᵐ, i feel like personally, i would have told them. because i feel like the longer you withhold the information, the more it’ll hurt when they figure out the truth. and i assure you, one way or another the truth always comes out.

also i felt so just like in shock while seeing the bond (for killing the king) come off of runaan’s hand. it was just so fast i could not process it. also the shadow hawk WAS SO FREAKING COOL. i was just amazed by that for a hot minute. but im not ashamed to say my first thought was that is everyone who was fighting there dead? is soren dead??? now, i wouldn’t say soren is the best person but the way he let callum beat him to impress claudia, never mind his own sister is just so 💗💗💗💗💗💗. also soren is kind of a hot snatch, and you can’t deny it, that’s speaking from someone who doesn’t even really have a type or anything.

okay, so yeah now my next big thing:

aunt amayaaaaaaaaaaa!!! aunt amayaaaaaaaaa! commander gren!!!! but mostly aunt amayaaaaa!!!!!!

eeee i love amaya!!! she’s such a freaking bada*s!! also she’s deaf, which is actually really inclusive of the show writers :D i think we need more shows with people who have disabilities and the dragon prince is a great one! it shows that you dont have to hear to be able to kick some serious a*s and lead people!!! also commander gren is just such a cutie. he translates everything for her, and THAT SCENE WHERE SHE SIGNS “I trust you, you’ve been my voice. Now you will become my hands to save the boys.” (translation from @redemptiionss—they have dragon prince translations for what amaya signs that gren doesn’t say!) AHHH!!!!! i mean that is just so sweet in like a really friendly platonic way. anyways i love aunt amaya and commander gren 💕

SPEAKING OF COMMANDER GREN. LORD VIREN YOU LITTLE TWERP WHY DID YOU UN-ASSIGN HIM FROM THE MISSIONNN??? ik he did it so that his kids could lead it obviously so they could follow his orders and do his dirty work but- you don’t know how much i wanted that commander gren screen time 😭😭 he just seems like such a funny guy

now that we’re back to the subject of lord viren-

his face is NOT doing so hot rn. he need some cera ve lotion ASAP. aging is not doing him well. okay but I’m going to stop joking now. WTF????????? HE FREAKING LIKE TORTURED RUNAAN???!?? AND PUT HIM IN A COIN????? AND HIS EYES ARE SO FREAKING SCARY??????

i mean at least gren is a witness to the torture but im honestly scared for gren now IF HE EVEN FCKING THREATENS GREN IM GONNA do nothing because he’s fake. but you already know im going to be so mad.

anyways lord viren is SICK (not in a good way). he needs serious help.

okay so yeah callum broke the primal stone to make the storm so zym could hatch blah blah blah i don’t really care. though he’s sad because he can’t do primal magic and stuff but now he’s determined to find another way to do primal magic because honestly claudia’s description of why dark magic wasn’t that bad was kind of terrifying.

yeah. then zym hatched i already forgot his full name since it’s so long, but okay!!! ALSO THEN ZYM BROKE RAYLA’S BOND!!! NOW SHE CAN SLISH AND SLASH (reference 😉) AND SHE WONT LOOSE HER HAND!!!! i love rayla :D. the dragon is kinda cute. but he can’t fly. which kinda makes him less majestic but ezran is gonna train him!!!!

ALSO EZRAN CAN TALK TO ANIMALSS!!!

i always believed in him.

next big thing issssss

claudia and soren both have different secret missions that they can’t tell each other about

like way to ruin your children’s sibling relationship and trust viren 🙄 and ALSO LORD VIREN DID NOT JUST TELL SOREN THAT IF THEY’RE ALIVE “SORRY MAN BUT YOU GOTTA KILL THEM” !!!!!!!!!!!! this man is terrifying

i want to beat him up. i could take him with no magic though. ik the only thing that is going to save him is some weird dark magic and without that his frail bones are going to have nothing on me.

okay! on that happy note i shall continue

something is going on with that mirror

runaan said that he had finally found something dangerous and that has hidden dangers (i hope they’re all inflicted on viren). lord viren has some weird obsession with that mirror and the end credits had a mirror with a hand that had four fingers (elf!!!) pressing on it. yay!! plot!!!!

that’s val’s (me!!) summary of the dragon prince season one

yeah.

aunt amayaaaa!!! aunt amayaaaaaa!!! commander gren!! but mostly aunt amayaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

#my chaotic tdp season one summary #no spoils plz #tdp #the dragon prince spoilers #NO SPOILERS FOR AFTER SEASON 1 #val talks #the dragon prince #the dragon prince season 1 #tdp s1 #tdp callum #tdp rayla #tdp claudia

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whump-me · 10 months

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Martyr, Chapter 18: Now We're Getting Somewhere

Chapter 18 of Martyr, a novel-length sci-fi whump story about a captured Martian rebel with a secret and the renowned interrogator who has waited a decade for the chance to break him. This series is best read in order. Masterpost here.

Contains: defiant whumpee, cold whumper, restraints, interrogation, verbal sparring, guilt, fatal beating mentions, brief wound infection mention, adult characters described as “kids” by an older and more jaded narrator

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Wraith

The Isadora who sat across the table from Wraith in the interrogation room was the same Isadora he had met on their very first time in this room. Her hair was as impeccable as her uniform. Her face was stone, her eyes ice. The Isadora he had seen in his cell seemed like nothing more than a dream. He might have thought he had dreamed it, if not for the bruises on her knuckles and the nail that had broken off at an angle from her right index finger.

He studied her other nails, looking for blood. But she had cleaned herself up soberly. There wasn’t a speck of the prisoner’s blood to be found. She had been thorough.

Wraith leaned back and tried to smirk. If she could show him her old self, he had to do the same, or the point would go to her. But the stretching of his lips felt strained and unnatural. The feigned smile fell away. He tried to hold her gaze, but found himself staring down at his lap instead.

He wasn’t fooling anyone, not Isadora and not himself. She might be able to pretend last night hadn’t happened, that she hadn’t beaten someone to death in front of him for no apparent reason, but he couldn’t. This point would go to her after all.

He wasn’t sure he cared.

He felt like he was the one who had been beaten. He hadn’t slept after Isadora’s guards had taken the body away. He hadn’t tried. It would have felt obscene to lie there trying to sleep, with the man’s screams still echoing in his ears and the smell of his blood still thick in his nostrils. Instead, he had stared into the darkness, trying to make some sense out of what had just happened. Isadora claimed she always had a strategy, so what was her strategy now?

Only a single word had come to him. A name. Callum. The prisoner’s name had been Callum.

His ankle was swollen to what felt like twice the size of the other one. The ankle cuff holding him to the chair, which was even tighter than the one in the cell, didn’t help. Every so often, blood dripped from the wound he had ripped open last night. The blood was the wrong color now, a sickly orange instead of dark red. Maybe the wound was infected. Maybe it would kill him.

As if it mattered. He would die here regardless. That was probably a better way to go than some. Better than Callum had gotten, for certain.

“I know what it did to you to watch your fellow prisoner die in front of you,” said Isadora, jolting Wraith’s attention back to her. “There’s no need to try to hide it. It won’t work, in any case.”

At least she didn’t try to make her words sound sympathetic. If she had acted all sugary-sweet about it, told her how sorry she was when she had been the one to do it, it might have sent him into a snarling rage, shredding the last of his self-control and winning her another point. Instead, she said it flatly, which led an air of unreality to the conversation. How many people could talk about beating a man to death as if they were reading off the nightly news?

Isadora Pope, he supposed.

“There aren’t many people who could watch something like that and feel nothing,” Wraith agreed, as civilly as he could manage—which wasn’t very. “I’m not ashamed of that. It makes me human. As opposed to whatever you are.”

If his words hurt her at all, she didn’t show it. “It means you’re a good man,” she agreed, with a small nod. “Better than the one who sent you here.”

At first Wraith couldn’t understand the words. The script was all wrong. This wasn’t the way the conversation was supposed to go. When the meaning hit him, he went rigid in his chair. A chunk of solid ice lodged in his stomach.

He didn’t dare say anything in response. He didn’t even dare breathe. Any reaction could betray too much.

But it was already too late for that, wasn’t it?

Her eyes glinted. He knew that no matter how hard he had tried to remain expressionless, he must have showed some reaction, something that had given him away. “Yes,” she said, “I know you aren’t who you claim to be. Your leader was afraid we were getting too close, wasn’t he? He thought sending a patsy to die in his place might buy him enough time to go deeper into hiding. I’m not surprised he thought that was worth spending one of his people’s lives for. After all, he’s been asking others to die in his place for ten years.”

“Of course that’s how you’d see it,” Wraith spat. “Because that’s how you think, isn’t it? No one is human to you. We’re all resources for you to spend as you choose.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why I ever thought the two of you were the same. He cares even when he shouldn’t. It’s going to be the death of him someday. But you… is there anyone you care about? Anyone at all?”

Isadora drew up straighter in her chair. “Everything I told you the other day was true,” she said icily. “You were the only one lying in that conversation. I care about Earth, and I care about the future of this miserable planet. I care more about it than anyone on Earth does—and more than your little band of rebels does, too, whatever you may think. I’m not the one willing to destroy an entire dome—the only thing that makes life possible on this barren planet of yours—just to make a point.”

“I didn’t ask what you cared about. I asked who. Is there anyone on this planet you claim to care about so much—even anyone on your own side—who isn’t a resource to you?”

“People like us can’t afford that luxury.”

“People like us?” he sneered. “Don’t put the two of us in the same category. I don’t have a problem with killing, but I do it to save people. You only use them.”

“I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about the one who sent you here. You can’t say he didn’t see you as a resource. Not when he sent you to die.”

“Saying stuff like that just proves that despite a decade of trying to hunt us down, you don’t understand him at all. No wonder it’s taken you so long.” If Isadora didn’t care about anyone, Gabriel had the opposite problem. They were all painfully real to him—every lost life, every sacrifice he agonized over in his office late at night.

He and Wraith had argued it out so many times, Gabriel behind his desk, Wraith pacing back and forth. Wraith would lecture him about how he had to stop caring so much or he would burn out and the rebellion would be left without a leader. Gabriel would tell him it was that same capacity for caring that let him find the strength to keep fighting, because it reminded him what he was fighting for.

He had always been like that. Too big a heart for his own good.

Wraith would know.

They had known each other from the start, had worked in the same factory together before Earth came. They had been young then, as reckless and unserious as all kids were. Gabriel hadn’t had that boundless sorrow in his eyes. Just like Wraith hadn’t had a constant flame of rage burning in his heart.

Tragedy had changed them both, because that was what tragedy did. Wraith had wanted revenge. Left to his own devices, he would have stalked it straight off a cliff. Gabriel had wanted something nobler. In the space of a few short months, he had gone from a kid who could laugh at a fart joke one moment and cry at a sunset the next, to someone people twice his age looked up to and were willing to take orders from.

Wraith hadn’t loved Gabriel back then, not the way he did now. That had come gradually, stealing over him with every soft word of encouragement Gabriel gave him and every time Gabriel held him back from doing something stupid, until one day he realized Gabriel owned his entire heart and he had no idea when it had happened. It didn’t make him unique. He knew he was hardly the only one to love Gabriel enough to sacrifice for him. He was probably far from the only one who wished it would turn into something more than soft words and sacrifice, something big enough to hold not only the devotion to a shared purpose, but moonlight kisses and hands running over bare skin.

But he liked to think it was different between the two of them, even though he knew he was probably deluding himself. The others hadn’t known Gabriel as long as he had, after all. And when Gabriel needed to let down his guard and talk honestly, he didn’t go to any of the other rebels; he went to Wraith. Wraith used to imagine that someday Gabriel would look inside himself and see that his own heart belonged to something other than his cause, and then they would share that kiss in the moonlight.

But he had set those dreams aside for Gabriel’s sake long ago. Just as, eventually, he had set aside his life.

“I was wrong about your leader after all, it seems,” said Isadora, interrupting his thoughts. “But not in the way I originally thought. I imagined him as a soft man. That was why was so surprised when I met you. But you’re just one more disaffected child driven by emotion. The one who sent you, though… he’s something far more dangerous. He’s cold. Ruthless. He wins the devotion of his followers, and then he throws them away.”

Wraith wanted to laugh, because she was so far off that she might as well have been standing all the way back on Earth. He wanted to snarl at her, because this was Gabriel she was talking about, and he wouldn’t have her slandering him. He pressed his lips together and forced himself to do neither. He imagined Gabriel beside him, a soft hand on his shoulder, a murmur in his ear. Don’t react. Don’t give her what she wants.

“As much as you brought your fate on yourself,” said Isadora, “I actually feel the slightest bit sorry for you. You were used. I know enough about your rebellion to know the kind of devotion your leader inspires. He knows how to manipulate people. He can get into their heads. And he took advantage of that. The man is a coward, and he used your devotion to save his own life.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Wraith spat, before his imagined version of Gabriel could warn him to keep his mouth shut. He closed his lips too late. He had given her a reaction, just like she wanted. One more point to her.

Isadora’s voice softened fractionally. “You’re a better man than him—I can tell. You may be stupid enough to let the anger in your heart control you, but at least you have a heart. You were sufficiently brave and loyal to allow yourself to be captured in his place, even knowing what it would mean for you. And you were strong enough to resist telling me the truth, even when you must have known you could have used it to work out a deal between us.”

“No,” said Wraith, “I couldn’t have.” The thought had never so much as occurred to him. He could no more betray Gabriel than he could force his own heart to stop beating.

“He must have seen all that in you. Your courage, your loyalty. Your strength. How many of his people have the fortitude to do what you’ve done? Not many, I imagine—not unless the people on your side are made of stronger stuff than mine, and I’ve met enough of you in the past decade to know that’s not the case. He saw everything that is admirable in you, and he used it for his own selfish—”

“No!” Wraith yelled. The word echoed off the walls. Isadora’s lips curved upward almost imperceptibly.

He had given her another reaction. He had betrayed a little more of himself to her.

But she couldn’t sit there and say those things about Gabriel. And what did it matter how much he showed her, anyway? She had already found out the one thing that was truly important. She knew he wasn’t who he said he was.

“You’ve got it all wrong,” said Wraith, his voice quieter but laced with anger. “You think you finally have him all figured out, but you’re more wrong than you ever were. He didn’t use me. He had nothing to do with it. It was my plan from the start.”

“I’m sure it was,” she said, like she was humoring a child.

“He didn’t want me to come here, you know that? We argued for hours. The only reason I’m here is that I didn’t give him any choice in the matter. He would never have asked me to do this, because he was dumb like that. He never did know how to make the hard calls. So I came up with the plan, because I could see the writing on the wall. I knew how close you people were getting to him. I told him what I was going to do, because I figured I owed it to him to say goodbye in person. And when he tried to tell me no, I told him I was going to do it with or without his approval, so he had better get on board.”

Wraith paused to draw in a long breath after his rush of words.

“So you’re wrong about him,” he concluded. “And you’re wrong about me. I’m not a resource—not yours, and not his. No one uses me. And he’s a better man than I’ll ever be. Why do you think I gave myself up for him?”

Isadora’s only reaction was a slight widening of her smile. “Ah,” she breathed. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

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Tagged: @straight-to-the-pain @soheavyaburden @gala1981 @whumpacabra @sacredwrath @suspicious-whumping-egg @sonder35 @decahedron-crabclaw @seasaltandcopper @tremendousenemyhideout @bloodinkandashes @whumplr-reader

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#whump #whump writing #whump story #whump novel #my writing #my writing: Martyr #sci-fi whump #interrogation whump

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welivefast-dieyoung · 2 months

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Happy Birthday to my A1 from day 1. My goofy Aquarius bestie. Might be the best of all my boys. Idgaf I love you with all my heart, I can't help it, you might be my favourite. Talented as fuck, one of the most expressive faces on the planet. Your smile is insane. Always just happy to be there, you literally look better every time I see you. Your tongue is allergic to staying in your mouth. You always wanna say something or sing something. Strongest face card of all my clients. Kinda guy who drives 30 minutes for a hug. Genuinely couldn't ask for more out of a fave. If you being virtually incapable of not manspreading is all I have to put up with I'll take it. Never change.

#scribblesbyc #I'm not ashamed of it he's the only man I'll ever love #none of my other boys listen to me the way he does (yes I'm still talking about the outfit you would too foh)#I'm his shooter I'm his ride or die I'm never leaving him EVER #ct #he ain't done nothing wrong to nobody and stanning him us just so easy which is RARE these days #callum turner

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zenthejackal · 6 months

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Book 6 Prediction Worry-Rant

...Oh boy. If someone told me the teaser would've caused me THIS MUCH anxiety, I would've just waited until the full trailer (or even worse, the full-on premiere)! I've been freaking out so hard since Thursday's reveal and only now have I gotten myself relatively under control. It also gave me some time to look at others' speculations and theories, so that always makes me feel better too. But now, I've got some questions about what will happen with this next book, and what it will really mean to be "emotionally wrecked".

Slight disclaimer: I heavily reference the info from the post made here by xadian-daydreams. I'm basing my ideas off of this, but all credit on retrieving this info goes solely to him (assuming him, sorry if I got it wrong!). I'll also have some references about Dark Magic from the Dragon Prince Wiki.

First off, I need to understand more about the real toll of Dark Magic. What we already knew was that using Dark Magic requires some form of sacrifice of a magical being, it leaves some form of corruption on the user (with physical changes depending on the severity), and that corruption can be used by Aaravos as a means of linking them together. The first use is a sort of 'jolt' to the body and results in nightmarish fever dreams but is remediable. Apparently, it amplifies the values/feelings of the user when casting it (according to latest Q&A). It has been constantly been referred to as a shortcut, or 'too easy to use', but isn't technically addicting; if you want to stop, there's no strong resistance to make you keep doing it. However, each time you use Dark Magic, it's harder to come back from it. Personally, I imagine this to your teacher's cheat-sheet for a test: at first you only use it to answer a really hard question, but then you keep using it because it's so much easier than relying on your own knowledge.

I need someone to explain to me: what exactly is the "corruption" of Dark Magic? Does it darken the soul to make it more evil, make you prone to the emotions you felt at the time of casting, or a very subtle way of "changing you from the inside out" without you realizing it?

The reason I'd like to know this first is because now we're looking at our 3 main protagonists: Callum, Rayla, and Ezran. First up is Callum, my personal favorite (yeah, that's right, I'm not ashamed to admit my bias). Going into the next book, the main questions that came up for me were:

How will Callum handle Dark Magic from now on, especially now that Aaravos is closer to him (magically and literally)?

Will it be easier for him to give into Dark Magic's temptation now that he's given into it a second time now?

How does Dark Magic affect the trust/friendship he's created over time?

Up until Book 5, I always assumed that Callum would never use Dark Magic again once he got Primal Magic; his one-time use was out of sheer desperation. Now that he's done it again (and after learning a bit more about his true character and motives), my main concern is that continued usage will continue to change him more and more until he's a very different person, someone Rayla no longer recognizes, let alone loves.

Moving onto Rayla, there was no real "progress" in the latest Q&A concerning her and the coins (writers refused to answer the REALLY juicy stuff), but there's still some things I still want to know:

If she's given a choice between her new and old family, who would she choose?

She has always been the one to be willing to sacrifice everything of herself for the good of others; how far will she go, or is there a line she will no longer cross?

How does she view sacrifice in relation to others, i.e. Callum? Is killing him when possessed his sacrifice or hers? Would she be willing to kill those she loves (not exclusive to Callum on this last part)?

Who does she ultimately choose above the other: Callum and Ezran or the world?

I realize that most of these questions center around Rayllum, but this is just what concerns me the most right now. I definitely want her to grow as an individual too, but this relationship between the two is something very special to me, mostly because of how much stronger they are when they're together! I really miss their chemistry!!

...Ahem, finally, we have Ezran. While he is still a great part of the main team, he is also now king. But we haven't really seen him act as one in the show as of yet; he's only really been ruling on-screen for about 2 episodes, gave into the bargain with Viren to try and prevent mass bloodshed, have a brief meeting with his council after the timeskip, and have some strong speeches concerning Xadia and addressing the dragons/archdragons. ...Okay, so that seems like a lot, but keep in mind, that 1) while there are powerful moments, they are still brief, and 2) all of this takes place over the course of 3 seasons so far, when he has begun his rule. I would personally like to see him act/struggle more as a king, mostly because I still see some naivety in his approach. He still acts a bit childish in his views, kind of like: "this is the right choice, so we'll do it" from a logical side. This view oversimplifies the world, and while he does address this in his powerful speech in Book 4, we haven't seen him really struggle with this notion. Your words aren't as strong if you haven't been hurt as bad, and I know that Ezran has a lot of hurt that he's been hiding. I want to see how he handles it. (No questions regarding Ezran, just speculation this time.)

The final cherry on top: can someone please tell me what "emotionally wrecked" could possibly mean for this upcoming book?!! Every time the writers bring it up, I get nothing but depression with a side of gloom and misery sprinkled on top! The only saving grace we do have from all this... negativity... is that it's coming in the second-to-last book, not the last. This also likely means that whatever horrible tragedies we'll face this book have the chance to be resolved/redeemed in the next one. Additionally, any character arcs/growth we go through will likely either continue over to the final book or will be resolved in time for another one. That being said, PLEASE TELL ME, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH BY DOING THIS TO US?!! THIS SUSPENCE IS EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT, AND I'VE HAVEN'T EVEN DONE DARK MAGIC YET!!!

...Whew, got that all out of my system. Please reply if you've got any answers or comments, especially with the last part (better to rip the band-aid off now). I love a good dialogue! Just please keep it friendly and civilized. Thanks for listening to my rant, and here's hoping for Dragon Prince's continued success!!!

#the dragon prince #tdp #book 6 #dark magic #callum #rayla #rayllum #ezran #i'm a wreck #how about you?

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m4rs-ex3 · 9 months

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the thing that kills me (though i am already dead WHO AM I RUNAAN) is that rayla told callum not to do it. she yelled it out to him. she was so proud afterwards. all that happened and callum was still just sat by himself. he was ashamed. he knew what she would think if she knew the truth. he doesn't think he deserves anything she's giving to him.

#but that will be ONE HELL OF A CONFLICT cannot wait #tdp spoilers #rayllum #callum #callum tdp #tdp s5 #tdp #the dragon prince

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jelzorz · 9 months

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157.

It's a little pathetic. Rayla will not defend herself in that regard. She's eighteen, for heaven's sake, and she'd grown up training to be an assassin, had defended Zym from the most dangerous dark mage in the world, had leapt off the the Pinnacle to what should have been her death, and this! This is what gets her. This is where she lets the world down: in a dinghy, in the middle of the Sea of the Castout, because she's too scared of the water to help save it.

What a disgrace.

Callum and Ezran have been under for about ten minutes now, and she's spent the whole time watching the surface of the ocean, daring herself to jump in after them. Bait and the baitlings and Soren and Zym watch her in varying degrees of apprehension. Stella chitters encouragingly but the dinghy bobs, and Rayla holds tighter still.

Soren nudges her gently. "You good?"

"Do I look good?" she snaps, and then the dinghy lurches and Rayla whimpers, her fingers curling into the wood. "Sorry," she mutters. "I just—I need a minute."

"You can have all the minutes you want," says Soren. "There's no shame in it. It's okay to be scared."

"I'm not—"

"Yeah, you are."

"You're not helping."

"Neither is pretending you're not scared." Soren gives her a look. It's supposed to be stern, she thinks, but it's offset by the baitlings climbing over his arms. "Look, Rayla. I dunno who you think you're kidding, but like. There's no judgement here. It's okay."

"Oh, like you would know."

Soren gives her a look, and Rayla shuts her mouth immediately, more ashamed of herself for her callousness than for her fear of water. "Sorry," she says again. The sea lurches, and she pushes herself away from the edge of the dinghy, afraid, for a moment, that the ocean isn't pleased with her either and might just pluck her out of the rowboat itself. "I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it?"

"I just—" Rayla presses her lips shut and buries her face in her hands. "You're you. You're confident and brash and kind of stupid—no offense. You don't know what fear is."

"Good to know you think I'm two-dimensional," says Soren, his voice dry but without malice. "Seriously, Rayla, it's okay. You don't have to be brave all the time."

"Yeah, I do." She huffs and stares up at darkening sky, her throat sore with the things she's too afraid to admit. "I'm a Moonshadow elf," she says at last. "I'm not supposed to show fear. We have this motto thing—I'm already dead—and it's supposed to keep us focussed on mission, and I can't even..." She wrinkles her nose. "Runaan was right about me. I hesitate too much. I don't know what the right thing to do is."

"I mean." Soren chuckles gently and nudges her arm again. "You didn't kill Ezran. You saved Zym. Now, you're beating yourself up about being scared hoping you might get over it. Those don't sound like wrong things to me."

"Hm." Rayla scoffs in spite of herself. "Stop trying to make me feel better. This is pathetic."

"To you, maybe," says Soren. "But I've been there too. I know what it is to be afraid. I'm not gonna blame you for that."

There's a pause. The ocean laps against the wood of the dinghy and one of the baitlings—Jellybug, Rayla thinks—flops out of Soren's hand and onto her lap.

"You're nicer than I thought you were," says Rayla at last.

"Well, thanks," laughs Soren. "And if it's anything to you, I think you Moonshadow elves have it all wrong."

"Why do you say that?"

Soren nudges her a third time and Sneezles tumbles out of his hands too. "Dead people can't help other people, but all you've ever done ever is help. So you can't be dead."

Rayla barks out a laugh, because it makes sense and it doesn't, and it's so ridiculous that she can't help but be comforted by it. She looks over the ocean again and feels it in her chest: she's still scared, but it's because she's alive, and that's okay. "Thanks Soren," she says at last, passing the baitlings back over to him.

Soren grins. "You good?" He asks again.

"Yeah," says Rayla, getting to her feet. The dinghy wobbles but she breathes out the fear and stares down at the sea. "I'm good."

#in anticipation #soren&rayla brotp #listen LISTEN #soren and rayla are the best of bros and i will die on this hill #me looking at the ia requests like: i see you ok i just got distracted

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raayllum · 3 months

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Ezran is twenty-two when he kisses her for the first time.

Claudia stumbles back in a panic, lips burning and wide eyed. His office, her books stacked high on the desk they share most days, is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

She touches her mouth. "Why would you do that?"

Ezran meets her stare evenly, although with something defiant about him, too. Like he's not sorry about putting this, whatever this is, out into the open, like he's daring her to make him feel ashamed for it. "Because I wanted to. Don't you?"

"It—Ezran."

Her eyes sting because the truth is yes, she wants. She has always wanted more than she should in all things, has never been able to let go of anything gracefully, has left claw marks on all that matters in her life. So she'd told herself this one time, at least, after everything Ez has done for her—he's the reason she's alive, he's the reason she's able to be here with her brother even when his had disapproved, he's the one who gave her a place to grow, and—

She wants him. She can't have him.

"I'm too old," she starts because it's true and because she swore a long time ago she'd never lie to him. She's not going to break that promise when she also has to break his heart.

Ezran frowns. "Claudia—"

"And I'm hardly respectable." Just the reformed dark mage and daughter of a dead, disgraced king, with no dowry, no tangible ties to Del Bar, and no prospects. It's a miracle she's not a prisoner. "And the court would talk."

His advisors want him to marry the younger sister of the king of Evenere or Del Bar, to solidify alliances, to ensure peace amongst the Pentarchy. A smart match that can give him heirs. She's just a few years shy of thirty and ravaged by dark magic, and—

She doesn't want to be a reason his judgement is questioned. She doesn't (heart pounding) want to cause a rift between him and his brother. Callum has only just begun to treat her as a friend again. What will he think if he finds out she's courting his baby brother?

"I don't care what they or Callum say," Ezran replies staunchly, and yes, there's the defiance. "I love you."

"No, Ezran—Ez." She dares to take him by the shoulders, marvelling not for the first time that she has to look up to meet him in the eye. "You're young," she reiterates. "And it will pass."

She is not going to ruin his life again—and certainly not let him ruin his life over an infatuation mistaken for love.

Because it is one thing to be his friend after she was his enemy for so long, and his high mage for half the year when his brother is gone. It is one thing to dance with him at Ellis and Aanya's wedding last summer, and to admire the way the light catches the gold beads in his hair, and hum to herself after they've gone for a castle garden stroll together, and try to make him laugh during droll council meetings, but she can't—they can't—

She leaves before she can do any more damage, before he can grasp her wrist and convince her.

The next day, after a terse breakfast in which Soren knows what happened because she told him in tears, he corrals them into talking.

Claudia doesn't get up to leave this time, when Ezran sits next to her on Their Bench in the gardens.

"You know," he says, not wearing his crown for once. "You never said you don't love me back."

Claudia can't look at him, focusing on steepling her fingers together instead, skin too pale and nerves still too frayed after so many years of dark magic. "I said I wouldn't lie to you."

Ezran exhales. "Then why on't you let yourself be with me?"

"Because I don't have a good track record with love." She and Terry still write to each other sometimes, and he'd help keep her sane those first few months back on this side, but... They'd been too much, and she'd been too prejudiced when they met, to ever have something work. She swallows. "And even worse track record with you."

Ezran reaches up and tucks a strand of dyed black hair behind her ear, lingering. "Well, you know I like to bet on long shots, at the horse races in Duren."

"You're young," she reiterates.

"My mother and father were six years apart, too—"

"And whole, and bright, and full of life, despite everything that's happened to you." She folds in on herself. "In spite of everything I've done. I mean it; you'll grow, and it'll pass."

That's how it worked for Callum, and for Terry.

"I just don't understand," he says. "Why not even try, at having the thing that you want?"

"Because the last time I chased what I wanted, the world ended." And it'd felt like it ended again, when he'd kissed her. Like it would end again because she never knew when to stop, she hadn't thought she was being selfish before, either, and... "It'll pass," she promises.

Not for her, but for him. It has to.

(It doesn't. He's twenty-three when she kisses him back.)

#claudiez #ficlet #fic #my fic #bc i Miss them #and ppl are cowards #canon crack quartet

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