#cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can

[astranite]

--whiney rant and vent--- starts at tumblr but descends into my life.

Fucking tumblr!! *grabs tumblr and aggressively shakes it*

Some new hell update has made it so every time I reblog a post, i go right back to the top of my dash and have to scroll half a mile through the posts Ive already seen to get back to the ones i havent yet seen and want to see!! And even with the scroll bar it takes ages and breaks the loading and makes it nearly genuinely unusable!!!

But Im still going to even though it sucks, because tumblr is my designated scroll and look at characters time and be with mutuals. And yes this is a very small whiny thing to rant about, especially given the state of the damn world, but with the rest of my life imploding in many numbered crisises that even one of would be apparently considered a fairly major thing to have to deal with im now realsising because through massive amounts of avoidance id just gone "this is fine" despite being very reasonably banned from the word fine by 5 different people and then me, and then others going 'wow that really is alot' semihorrified, and I awkwardly laugh because i am used to this and its not that bad and whatever stupid shit i tell myself to keep going.

So yes, whining about tumblr because at this point its a load bearing coping mechanism. And its somewhat a last straw because i am barely hanging on as it is but ill deal with this like everything else because there isnt any other options.

#astra stuff #ill survive this i just got to be dramatic about it first #and some of this stuff i dont think im actually being dramatic about because its really not fine #yknow the stressed and terrified with the whole trying to move out and figuring out how possibly can i because at this point i really need #chronic illnesses being chronic annoyingly #trying to hold everyone together and then myself too #dumb panic attacks because im on a hair thin trigger but shrugging them off halfway through because i dont have time nor energy for this #the whole fucking cpstd thing which apparently psychologists dont hand out like halloween candy #so there really is a problem here given meeting the diagnostic critera #and what happened to me being just so incredibly Fine! #you can probably at this point see exactly the reason why i write scott like i do #okay apparently more dumb rant in the tags #and im getting really sick of the goverment social whatever services fucking hold music #plus the daily attempt convince my stupid emotions that nooo everyone does not despise me in particular that doesnt even make logical sense #ugh #cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can

[this-doesnt-endd]

Europeans who complain abt american candy in an american candy store fuck off

#what am i gonna do abt it im just some girl #this dude comes in looking for truffles and goes right to the box so i assume he knows what he wants but i still explain it to him #and show him a picture of what exactly it will look like and tell him its an assortment of all the truffles we make #hes looking at the best by date thats in like 365 format abd hes like this is confusing why do you do this #and im like oh sorry it makes it easier for us inventory wise and hes like well its harder for me #and im explaining that its best by like peak of freshness that itll still be okay after thata #and he like goes off abd looks at stuff abd im helping someone else out and he goes back to the truffles and is fucking up the display #just took it apart to look at the dates abd i told him theyre all the same theyll be fine through april #and im helping some other lady and he walks to the register and stands there im clearly the only worker here #and i cant tell them like hey line starts here i have to ring up the person im helping at a diff register and say ill be with u soon #then offer a sample as apology that they cant read or stand in lines #and im checking him out and he gets confused when i ask if he would like a sample of candy and hes like i just want truffles #and im like okay yeah i have a sample of one of those its hazelnut is that okay? and hes like no!! just chocolate chocolate i want a truffle #and im like yeah it one and he has like a relaization that he didnt exclsuovely get chocolate truffles #and im like yeah its coffee and chocolate and fruit filling LIKE I SHOWED HIM WHEN I SHOWED HIM THE PICTURE #and i hadnt finished the transaction yet so i was like i can exhnage it and hes like sighing being like no no its FINE i guess #like SORRY MAN BABY im trying to help you #and hes like in eurpoe u get so spoiled u get to eat it right as its made its so nice and not full of preservative #fyi our candy doesnt have preservatives either #and hes like i guess ill have to go w american candy that lasts for years upon years and im like well ours dont do that so #also he walkes directly to the truffle box and said these are truffles right so he had to have lookes this up in some capacity #we've been voted like best in the country its good chocolate #sorry u cant eat it off line

[gogomatthew]

Request: (Smut)

Hotch gives Spencer the lead on a new case. And when Y/N doesn’t do what Spencer said to do- well let’s say when they get home she gets punished.

Just you wait

SPENCER REID X FEM!READER

summary: being from a different department and working with your fiancé was always great except but things change when you don’t seem to obey his orders

warnings: choking • punishment • spanking • sub!dom dynamics • cursing • arguing • bj • PV •

a/n: english isn’t my first language so I apologize for any gramatical errors! I don’t really see Spencer as a dom tbh so this was a little difficult for me to write sorry if its not exactly what you wanted honestly it was rushed :/

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI!! 18+ SMUT AHEAD

“I dont feel great about this just so you know” Emily says as you both enter the DCPD. “You think I do? but we can’t prioritize feelings over case right now” Emily sighs as you squeeze the orange envelope filled with new pictures of the crime scene between your fingers subconsciously releasing your stress onto it with a deep breath.

You see a lanky figure make his way towards both of you with a glare of disbelief plastered on his face. “You went behind my back?” though his tone is angry theres hurt laced between his words. “Im sorry but we found new evidence that-” he cuts you off “I dont care right now! Im leading this case and I told everyone to stay away from the scene until further notice. You cant just ignore my authority!” his eyes switch back and forth between you and Emily

“I work for a different department” Emily just sighs and throws her hands up in surrender as she walk away past Spencer after realizing the conflict just got a little personal. Spencer runs his hands down his face in defeated frustration causing his words to come out slightly muffled “Am I joke to you? seriously am I? I know you work for a different department but you never seem to have a problem obeying Hotch..” his hands fall back to his sides as he grabs the envelope from you and storms off leaving you there with your thoughts.

For some cases your department sent you out as the traveling detective to help out the BAU and you never had a problem working along side your fiancé I mean this job is what brought you both together but having him as your acting boss was slightly different. Its not that you didn’t respect his authority you just didn’t understand his judgment at this moment. He knew how your job functioned and always did his best to help you with whatever you needed but right now he was stopping you from doing your job and you were worried about him but there were victims at risk.

Hypothetically he would’ve been fine if..

If Hotch wasn’t hovering

If the geographical range wasnt so large

If the building wasnt so loud

If the PD didn’t see him as joke

if it wasn’t dangerous for his agents to leave the building alone

ect,, there were too many thoughts taking over and none of them were good.

Thankfully the evidence you and Emily found was crucial to the investigation and even though he was still under immense stress you felt as if at least you took a little weight off Spencers shoulders although that didint mean he was pleased with your actions. He avoided you throughout the day even after the unsub was caught not even breaking the silence on the car ride home. Before you can even finish parking Spencer is stepping out of the car and entering your shared apartment before you.

You make your way inside not too long after him with tears of pent up frustration brimming your eyes and threatening to fall only for those thoughts to be forgotten as your head gently hits the wall. Spencer has you pinned by his large hand lightly squeezing your neck the way he knows you love as his other hand holds both of your wrists between his fingers. “what was that today? first you ignore my authority..” a squeeze to your neck as his raspy voice lingers closer to your slightly open mouth “and then you humiliate me?” another squeeze and the tears fall alongside a whimper “why’re you crying baby? you know I just wanna keep you safe and thats why I couldn’t let you go to the scene” his tone is genuine care mixed with condensation as he looks you up and down hungrily “but you just had to ignore me and im gonna have to make you learn your lesson” his grip on your throat loosens as his hand gently strokes your face wiping away your tears “m- sorry” you choke out as he ghosts his lips over yours, his hot breath makes your thighs clench.

“I know you are but its too late now” his grip on you loosens and he pushes you down harshly to your knees as he undoes his belt without a word. As he frees his cock from his boxers he gives it 2 slow strokes “open” he simply says and you obey, taking him into your mouth eagerly. What you cant fit into your mouth you pump with you hand causing his breath to hitch at the stimulation. Spencer strokes his finger through your hair before fisting it and thrusting his hips into your mouth. He’s vocal and hes not shy about it, his moans come out strained and loud as you feel his dick twitch on your tongue getting ready to have your throat welcome in his load despite your gagging until he pushes you away “d-dont wanna cum yet.. gonna make you beg for it first” he says out of breath as he lifts you off the ground and into the bedroom.

“take it off.. I want a show” with a gulp you start unbuttoning your blouse slowly trying not to seem to desperate and take your pants off as he eyes you lustfuly. You are completely nude to him as his shirt and boxers remain “come here” you walk over to him cautiously and he sits you down on his thigh resting his hands on your hips slowly rocking you back and forth causing a moan to drop from your parted lips. “mm” you start rocking yourself faster as he removes his touch from you depriving you “please” he fake pouts “please what? I need to hear it” a desperate cry leaves your mouth knowing you wont be able to cum just from his thigh “I need you” he chuckles “need what? my fingers?” his hand cups your dripping cunt teasing your entrance with his fingers “n-no your-” a whimper leaves your throat “your cock”

one last look at you and he’s flipping you over so hes caging your body under his own. He grabs his dick in his hand and pushes it into your entrance without warning or giving you time to adjust. His hand finds its way back to your throat making your sounds of pain and pleasure sound strained. His thrusts dont have a rhythm theyre just ruthless and fast. “hah- ah you crying? im just correcting your behavior” his cock brushes your g spot so good it makes you forget how to talk “you know that right baby?” now this is condescending but you cant find it in you to care right now, the pleasure taking over “say it.. say you deserve this” his hold on your throat releasing so he can hold onto the bed frame to go deeper against your sensitive spot “ahh say it” with a yelp you manage to push the words out “I-I deserve t-this” his thrust dont let up it just fuels him on even more “wasnt gonna let you c-cum tonight but I think id rather fuck you stupid ah- what’d you think about that?” he knows you’re already seconds away from your orgasm as your eyes start rolling to the back of your head and you cant provide any actual words. His free hand makes its way down to your clit desperate to make you his own little fuck toy. Your legs start shaking erratically and without a warning you cum all over spencers aching cock with him hot on your heels. You pant but before you have time to catch your breath you’re roughly flipped over onto your stomach as a rough slap lands on your ass

“im not done with you yet”

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid smut #dom spencer reid

[sofs16]

perceval shark

charles! fake photographer x singer!reader

HEY! i know that may sound alarming as he is a fake but its quite silly… i think… im about to write it so enjoy <3

— just finished writing; not proofread at all

yn.yln

liked by charles_jpg, and 10,484,393 others

yn.yln hi friends! im currently looking for a photographer to join me on tour for the next month since my cousin (usual photographer) got injured and can’t travel:( send me a message or email in my bio and ill send more deets:) thanks a lot!!! 💌

view all 2,484,393 comments

ynsphoto will she acc reply to like millions of people tho 😭

⤷ yn.yln i really am trying but my instagram dms are glitching now 🫠 my team and i have replied to most of the emails tho:))

july 31, 2023

— mail app, you’ve got 16,483 inbox!

INBOX

From: Charles Perceval >

To: Yn Yln >

July 31, 2023 at 4:18

Hello, Yn!

If you are still in need of a photographer, I would love to help out!

Though I have no real experience aside from taking pictures of my friends, I have a large passion for music as you do.

I hope to hear from you:)

P.S Here is a link to some of my work. Have a good day:)

All the best,

Charles Perceval

NEW EMAIL

To: Charles Perceval >

From: Yn Yln >

Subject: reply asap pls :))

July 31, 2023 at 11:01

Hey, Charles!

I’ve really spent quite a while being mesmerized at your photos and I would loveeee if you could come with us on tour this month!!

The notice is quite short but the schedule would be August 4 to August 28 with us circling Europe. Let me know if there’s any issues and we could work around it:)

Hope to hear from you as well.

All the love,

Yn Yln 🤍

To: Yn Yln

From: Charles Perceval

July 31 at 16:22

Hello, Yn!

I am so glad! There may be a minor issue but could maybe we could talk about it on Instagram.

Would that be alright?:)

All the best,

Charles

Charles Perceval

charles_jpg • Instagram

12 Followers • 83 Posts

Following you since 2017

yn 💌

i must say, the 12 followers and private account is very sketchy, perceval 🤷🏻‍♀️

Charles Perceval

Hello Yn! Why are you judging me on my followers 😂

yn💌

NO IM NOT

im just saying i hope you dont rob me when we meet in real life 😔

Charles Perceval

Thank you for the trust in me. But I would not do that to you😁

yn 💌

sigh.. i guess it’s my fault if i end up dead in a ditch… ANYWAYS!

are you free to meet tomorrow 😁

Charles Perceval

Where exactly?

yn💌

Where are you now?

Charles Perceval

Spa

yn💌

you’re.. in a spa?

Charles Perceval

No! Spa, Belgium

yn💌

that one was NOT on me! But perfect the first stop there is actually Belgium! I can go there if it’s not a problem for you?

Charles Perceval

It is no problem for me:)

yn💌

Charles, don’t take this personally or rudely, but how old are you?

Charles Perceval

26 This October

yn💌

alright! just making sure youre not an old man😁

Charles Perceval

Aw, thank you.

yn💌

my manager will send more details, thanks charles and see you tomorrow:)

charles.jpg

Follow Requests

f1babes + 5,383,292 others

yn.yln has requested to follow you. 1m

confirm | delete

yn.yln

belgium

liked by charles_jpg, and 8,018,382 others

yn.yln i may look fine but i have been hiccuping for the last 2 hours i fret i am getting a six pack

view all 1,198,292 comments

ynsbabe i bet if u turned it to a sing, it’d be a bop

⤷ yn.yln too emotional to turn it into a song

august 2, 2023

yn.updated

liked by 2,483 others

yn.updated yn.yln just landed in Belgium where she will be performing for the first time this Friday!

view all 318 comments

liviesyn streets say she went to dinner with a guy 💔😭😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ ynsday chill. she can have guy friends

⤷ author not this one 😅

august 2, 2023

ynshit

liked by oliviarodrighoe, and 16 others

ynshit NOT WHAT I EXPECTED EMAILING THIS MAN.

view all 10 comments

oliviarodrighoe cant believ u didnt know charles leclerc THATS SO SO SUTPID IM LAUGJGING

⤷ ynshit HE SAID PERCEVAL DUMBASSSSS

⤷lauflaufey if he said leclerc would you have known anyway😭

⤷ ynshit 🙂

⤷ oliviarodrighoe how did you even find out

⤷ ynshit HE TOLD ME BCUZ HE’S LIKE A SHIT LIAR (thank you very much)

reneewrap did you hire him anyways

⤷ ynshit yes… MAN IS RICHER THAN ME THO

⤷ oliviarodrighoe HAHAHAHAHAHA

⤷ ynshit fuck you

⤷oliviarodrighoe or…

⤷ ynshit STOP

august 3, 2023

charles_jpg

yn.yln has requested to follow you. 4d

confirmed | decline

— instagram notification!

• yn.yln has followed charles_jpg and charles_leclerc!

charles.jpg

liked by yn, lando.jpg, and 7 others

charles.jpg Thank you, Lewis for the camera 😘

view all 10 comments

lewis.jpg Anytime mate! yn yes, thank you lewis hamilton

[liked by charles.jpg]

august 3, 2023

ynswife

liked by 10,483 others

ynswife what do you MEAN yn followed charles leclerc on his main AND jpg acc which NO ONE ELSE BUT THE GRID AND HIS FAMILY FOLLOWS. view all 3,485 comments

ynsferrari bro has been liking all of yns posts since 2015 with that acc 😭😭😭😭

august 3, 2023

yn.yln

tagged: charles_leclerc liked by charles_leclerc, and 14,393,292 others

yn.yln belgium 🤍 got a special guy with us too

view all 3,696,607 comments

charles_leclerc Sooo excited for this month! ⤷ yn.yln bring it on, perceval;)

maxverstappen1 🎉

taylorswift Gorgeous! ⤷ yn.yln i told u guys that song was abt me

august 3, 2023

charles_leclerc

tagged: yn.yln liked by yn.yln, and 2,293,596 others

charles_leclerc London 😎📷

view all 583,797 comments

yn.yln youre so talented, perceval:,) you make me like my smile

⤷charles_leclerc Haha thank you, ynn. You have an pretty smile to begin with! ⤷ lestappen1661 I can hear the church bells

charles1166 no because the way charles always captures her best moments like the happiness in the first slide and how she’s literally a star on the 2nd 😭

august 6, 2023

FERR4RI.YLN

liked by 3,282 others

FERR4RI.YLN “you make my like my smile” “you have a pretty smile to begin with” OH ITS OVER FOR US

view all 27 comments

ylnleclerc MOM AND DAD

august 6, 2023

yn.yln

tagged: charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari, and 7,383,494 others

yn.yln my turn to jpg 🤭

view all 3,585,922 comments

charles_leclerc Loving the first slide ❤️

⤷ yn.yln thanks!

oliviarodrgio ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹❣️❤️💗💟😘

⤷ yn.yln fuck off. f1rraris yn sitting with charles on the plane😭 his whipped smile😭 them eating together😭 the heart emoji😭

august 8, 2023

yn.updated

liked by 18,493 others

yn.updated yn sings unreleased song “slut” at monaco soundcheck today?!?! some lyrics :

• “got love struck, went straight to my head”

• “and if they call me a slut you know if might be worth it for once”

• “everyone wants him that was my crime”

• “i break down then he’s pulling me in. in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman”

view all 4,586 comments

chleclercs bye. august 10, 2023

yn.yln

liked by charles_leclerc, and 9,193,492 others

yn.yln monacoooo!!! thanks for being so kind to me and charles:,)

august 10, 2023

yn.yln

monaco

liked by charles_leclerc, and 11,737,292 others

yn.yln a day in shark lerklerk’s life

view all 4,697,922 comments

lewishamilton shark lerklerk

⤷ maxverstappen1 shark lerklerk

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial shark lerklerk

⤷ pierregasly shark lerklerk

⤷ landonorris shark lerklerk

charles_leclerc 🤦‍♂️

⤷ yn.yln💆🏼‍♀️

cru3lsumma entering gf yn time.

august 11, 2023

ynshit

liked by oliviarodrighoe, and 8 others

ynshit this isnt funny im ac down bad. ITS BEEN LIKE 10 DAYS

view all 6 comments

oliviarodrighoe MATCHMAKER ERA 🙋‍♀️

august 11, 2023

sharkie !!❤️

ynn💗

sharkie! wana dinner 2nite 🎉

sharkie !!❤️

Of course! Where should I pick you up? :)

ynn💗

my my what a gentleman

at the hotel we’re staying in🤷🏻‍♀️

sharkie !!❤️

see you:)

ynshit

liked by 11 others

ynshit HE LET ME EAT IN HIS CAR. …… 🙂

view all 32 comments

laufey oh she’s whipped! oliviarodrighoe LALALALALALAL HELLO?

august 11, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by 7,282,595 others

view all 1,201,833 comments

charlec11 the random an posting no caption is so bf

yn.yln wait. why do i look snatched here.

⤷ charles_leclerc You most certainly are ;)

⤷ f1111zoom HOLD TH E PHONEZ

august 15, 2023

yn.yln

liked by charles_leclerc, and 15,393,393 others

yn.yln little ep out now:)

[ COMMENTS DISABLED ]

august 22, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by 21,383,696 others

charles_leclerc Might as well be worth it for once❤️

view all 5,707,707 comments

yn.yln thanks for the last pic, love 🧘‍♀️

yn.yln STOPP IM GOING TO MISS YOU FOR TOUR

⤷ charles_leclerc you could always come to the pasdock😘

⤷ yn.yln WAGGING HERE I COME

august 25, 2023

#f1 imagines #formula 1 #charles leclerc #social media au #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc imagine

[coolprettyleo]

superman - gabe perreault ❥

tw: angst? fluff? not proofread. this is my first fic lol. pls be nice!! inspired by superman by taylor swift

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

lottie woke up to the sound of an alarm going off knowing very well it didnt belong to her. it belonged to the snoring and now slightly grumpy boy wrapped around her. who was tightening his arms around her waist because he didnt want to let go. he turns and puts his alarm on snooze and turns back to the beautiful girl in his sheets mumbling something about how all he needed was just five more minutes. 

“gabe you have to go, youre gonna be late” lottie softly says sleepily.  

gabe huffs and untangles his arms from her waist as he sits up; not before leaning over and giving lottie a kiss on the cheek that never managed to fail and give her butterflies even if it was five AM. lottie watches gabes tall and dark haired figure disappear into the bathroom as her mind begins to wonder off into a realm of wonder. 

lottie knew what she was getting herself into when she met gabe and ultimately decided to get involved with him. hes a hockey player who happens to be a pretty darn good one meaning he was going to be gone on roadies and there was going to be days where he was going to leave for roadies. at days at a time.  

he walks out stuffing something in his bag so he can leave off and save the world; or go play hockey. Its the same thing to lottie. atleast in her imagination. 

“you okay?” he softly says as he sees his girlfriend sitting up on his bed staring at him, in his shirt having a bit of a dazed look on her face. 

“im fine, it just sucks youre leaving again. I feel like you just got back” lottie sighs. 

she was right seeing as they just came back from christmas break last tuesday and it was currently friday morning and he was already leaving. again. 

“i know baby, but i’ll call you everynight and ill be texting you as long as i have my phone” gabe says walking over to her and gently stroking her hair. “we’ll be fine we always are” he mumbles before giving her the sweetest forhead kiss. 

lottie looks up at him with some words hanging off the tip of her tongue but for some reason she just cant voice them. shes not even sure what exactly she wants to say. 

he has his mothers eyes. 

lottie cant help but notice. as she stares into them.  

they get pulled out of their little admiring eachother moment when gabes phone goes off. lottie knows its most likely will or ryan waiting for him downstairs in the car ready to drive to the buses. she knows he has a busy day.  

“ill be out in a moment” gabe says into the phone rushing to get his bag not before giving lottie a swiss kiss “bye babe i love you” he says rushed. 

if lottie wasnt awake two seconds ago she was definitely awake now. they stopped and looked at eachother wide eyed knowing damn well they hadnt said those words to eachother yet. I mean lottie knew she felt them she just didnt know how to voice them. he knew she loved him. right? 

gabe looks at lottie for a moment waiting for her to say them back like any boyfriend who does nothing but support and love her, but lotties mind was anywhere but in the room. at the moment just wanted to crawl up into a little ball and cry because she couldnt help but overthink the fact he probably didnt mean them and it was most likely one of those moments where you accidentally say i love you like when your five and you accidentally call your kindergarten teacher mom. your not his kindergarten teacher lottie, your his girlfriend. 

she decided to do what she does best and acted ditzy.    

“good luck!!” she said, patting his chest with a smile that looked eerily ill. 

gabe was taken aback. a little because the first time he wanted to tell lottie he loved her, he wanted to make it special. he couldnt believe he did it just like that 10 seconds before he had to be out the door. but mostly due to the fact lottie looked like a deer in headlights. 

does she not love me? was it too soon? is there someone else? gabe couldnt help but think. 

he stared at charlotte for a moment before nodding to himself in what lottie couldnt tell was disappointment or anger? walking out the door. 

he had to know lottie has always loved him since the very first day. right?!? that she'll be waiting for him when he gets back, right? 

lotties mind was going about one hundred miles per hour. 

meanwhile, gabe couldnt wrap his head around what just happened.

“gabe-o you good buddy?” ryan ask, seeing as gabe got into the car looking like he was about to break into a million pieces. 

“yeah ill be fine” he said while irrationally muting lotties messages of her telling gabe to call her. he puts on his beats quickly after that signifying he didnt want the conversation to go any further.

ryan and will give eachother a look before taking off and ultimately deciding to let it go knowing gabe would probably just temm them later.

meanwhile lottie was sitting on gabes bed wondering what the hell is wrong with her. gabe is what anyone would want in a man. hes a gentlemen he treats her as if she was a princess and hearing those words wanted to make her scream and kick her feet. yet when the time came she stared at him. he probably felt like crap and that was not what he needed going into a weekend of gamedays. she felt horrible seeing as he was leaving her on delivered or just read. 

part of her knew she deserved it and she just wanted to desperately tell him how shes loved him from the very first day and she just hoped he didnt go off and do something irrational,  because he had to know lottie was going to be here when he got back, waiting for him right? 

… to be continued

#gabe perreault #gabe perreault x reader #ryan leonard #will smith hockey #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #bc hockey

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Alright. Imma just say it. Something is wrong with the theme park and Ollie. Because at first, it just seems really sweet right? Ollie seems charming and super nice to Bad- a true friend, if you will. But what initially started out as "getting help" for a "surprise for cucurucho" in the form of a ferris wheel turned into Bad being responsible for an entire theme park. Ok. But like. Why tho.

Also what is up with the snakes and raccoons that just randomly appear every time Bad tries to show the bunny workers his work- therefore inadvertently causing him problems that lead to bad reviews by the bunnies. And more importantly: Bad owing Cucurucho more debt each time.

There's something interesting about that last part and this whole situation intrigues me so much if Cucurucho really is manipulating Bad into becoming closer, and ultimately, slowly integrate him into the Federation.

- alchemicaladarna

EXACTLY

see the thing is i have to agree with bad that i think cucuruchos setting bad up for a debt payment so theyre forced to interact daily! Like a baby trap but with financials kjkhjgvhjbnjk

i wrote this in a post like i think two ish days ago that cucurucho seems to be testing bads boundaries, which includes forcing bad to somehow pay cucurucho or be in debt to cucurucho, both things which bad hates because he really likes being at the top of the ladder on the richness scale!! Like he checks that stupid thing so often just to make sure hes still at the top when in reality theres like a 10K GAP between him and the second richest person on the server

Like its so sus how this is the second time cucuruchos made bad indebted to him within the past couple days. And bad really couldve just refused to pay cucurucho back (it was just a netherite block that bad didnt even have that we WATCHED cucurucho destroy) but instead bad bended and said that he'd find a way to pay cucurucho back even if getting a fucking BLOCK OF NETHERITE would take FOREVER

AND THE THING IS!!!! THE THING IS!!!! I am 90% confident cucurucho didnt expect bad to be honest and give him back that whole stack of netherite blocks, it was a VERY OBVIOUS TEMPTATION to try and get bad to refuse to give them back but instead he did so and cucurucho panicked and decided to fabricate a false debt on his own

But the thing is, a block of netherite is something one can forget about especially when bad doesnt actually have it, so instead he made bad in debt with something a little more tangible, something bad cant just give back to him all at once (or that he didnt want to - of course bad could do it he has WELL over 12k but bad hoards his money like a dragon). So instead cucurucho charged bad an exuberant price for something he shouldnt have even known existed just so bad would be forced to interact with him and go out of his way to give him exactly 12 coins a day!! Cucurucho was even nice enough to take 3k off just because he likes bad (thats a quote, that was crazy)!!!

AND cucurucho did the math in his head, if bad were to stick to their debt agreement bad would be paying him back for a little under 3 years !!! Bro had a fucking calculator on hand!!! 2.74 years i believe were his calculations, a thousand days!! Bro is counting!!!

like im just saying its so sus,, its so sus i UNDERSTAND and i hope its on purpose and that they DO SOMETHING WITH IT!!!

AND SIDE NOTE!!!! THESE BUNNIES ARE SO CRINGEFAIL!!!! WHY ARE ALL OF THEM ALWAYS ON HALF A HEART???? The bear fed workers werent doing allat!!!!! It seems like every time a rabbit is around bad theyre always on 2 hearts constantly getting downed, every other time bad sees ollie hes picking her up from getting downed, he had to save the two tie rabbits several times today, sipi kept getting downed, etc. etc. that cant not be planned, its like they go out of their way to be weak to be able to make these accusations that cause bad to get fined that cause him to be in debt like THATS CRAZY RIGHT???

I dont think i saw any bear fed workers get downed until fucking CELLBIT started killing them, and pre-theme park weve rarely/never seen a bunny properly get downed, even when they were around bad, Ronnie was mostly stalking and hiding and jumping around and excited, they didnt get downed nearly as much!!! Its crazy!!!

EDIT: EDITING THIS TO SAY. LOWEST OF KEYS. REALLY SUS THAT OLLIE CLAIMED IT WAS FOR A CELEBRATION FOR CUCURUCHO, BUT REFUSED TO ELABORATE ON WHICH CELEBRATION... BAD ASKED IF IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY OR LIKE A BOSS APPRECIATION DAY OR SOMETHING AND SHE JUST AGREED NONCOMMITTALLY AND REFUSED TO ELABORATE.. A LITTLE ODDDDD

#qsmp #cucuhalo

[pr0dbeomgyu]

BUSTED!

CHAPTER 25

"hey, yn, what's up? missed me already?" beomgyu, as bright as the sunshine chirped, as soon as yn arrived at the cafe.

oh my, if only he likes me back when i had feelings for him. timing, is a really mean thing.

"gyu.." her voice faltered. it broke her heart, not being able to reciprocate his feelings, and what's worse is that she actually knows how heart shattering it was, when the one who's always comforting you, was the one breaking your heart. she literally went through the same thing not long ago.

"yn, are you okay?"

"gyu, im sorry.." she felt a lump in her throat, no amount of swallowing it would help her get rid of it.

"oh... OH no... you found out, didnt you? fuck.. im so sorry, yn, i really am," beomgyu's face visibly fell, as he reached for her fingers, a habit he did ever since they knew each other.

"beomgyu, no. what- what are you sorry for?"

"you found out i like you,didnt you? when you're in love with someone else. now you feel bad," yn noticed the boba eyes she adored so much, dulled a little, and she felt bad for being the reason behind it.

"how did you know?"

"you know, yn. as your best friend, i was bound to know you too well. It definitely is a blessing, i knew right away when you liked something, your favourite movie, your favourite cake, your favourite book, but that means i'd be the first to know when you're falling in love with someone else too, unfortunately sometimes, even before you. and that's exactly why i didnt come clean with my feelings for you, cause i knew you're already developing feelings for yeonjun," he explained calmly, but there's only so much time he can hold back his tears, even a dam would break if it's holding too much water and he's hoping that yn wouldn't be there when the dam does broke.

"i dont even know what to say, gyu. I cant comfort you cause i know, i'd only make you feel worse. I cant even say im sorry, and i cant just act like i didnt know about your feelings, cause that means you'd have to hide your pain everytime you're with me, and i dont want that, i've done that and it hurt me so bad," yn was already crying and she couldnt bring herself to care.

"our timing is really... fucked up," beomgyu said, his hand running through his hair in frustration.

"but i know everything's gonna be fine, yn. im sure i'd find someone someday," he tried to make it sound convincing, even if he doesnt believe it, not one bit.

NEXT | MASTERLIST

A/N :

damn i almost teared up

SYNOPSIS :

bumping into her shitty ex out of nowhere while hanging out with her friends, y/n was determined to show that she was way better off without him. desperate enough, she paid choi yeonjun, a cheapskate stranger she met 5 seconds ago, to act as her rich, classy boyfriend. y/n thought it was fine to change some things about her life to yeonjun (read: everything), cause heck, they don’t even know each other! but why is it that after the incident, yeonjun kept on appearing in her life, finding out the truth about her one by one, in the worst possible way?

TAGLIST :

@robin-obsessed @sjyuniverse @nyangjjunie @todorokiskitten @lunaflvms @iyeonjuni @clarakyunisageek @rinhyun @ladyiove @dear20cm @yeonyeonyeonjun @softylilies @pinkheadflowers @rencarnationofangel @petunialix @woo-minhee02 @navsnct @carolnina55 @bigtittietoji @letmeal0ne @beomslonghair @secretmilkshakefury @gorechoi @mochisnlix @day6andetcetera @soobpricity @fairybinie @butterfly-skinnylegend @yuakagi @soobin-chois @enhacolor @starlitskies0 @linovrl @multi4lifer @tonightletspretend @sebongajju @softpia @summery-bat @youreverydayzebra @blessed-sky @hae06 @en-boyz @rolexjung @bobrouxsky @a1exandra-ray @lilacarat @mybabywearschanel @acciomylove @marsophilia @qiankunslove @taeyongslilkitty @solarswonderland @rubberduckieyourtheone @taehyunsfel

#yeonjun #txt #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun smau #yeonjun au #tomorrow x together #txt fic #kpop smau #yeonjun x y/n

[selamat-linting]

living after experiencing sa is so weird like, the same piece of writing about assault could do nothing or it could send me into a week long spiral and its just a matter of dumb luck or pure chance that determines my brains' reaction to it. i've had moments where im legitimately triggered in the middle of re-reading something i actually enjoy as porn. over the years i figured it was because i had small triggers that are abstract or wasnt easily noticeable or doesnt feel like anything until its in the spesific context of sa. like being trapped in an enclosed space with strangers, begging to be sent home, being deceived, having your preferences and interests weaponized against you, the really lonely and painful walk home afterwards where no one comes to save you but maybe its better off this way since you dont want to be seen, those are things im particularly sensitive with. for example, a few years ago i got really messed up about this anecdote of a kid who got kidnapped by a neighbor for a few hours. he offered to see his cat and then lock them up in a room while theyre playing with said kittens. nothing actually happens but that made me legit depressed for a few days. while im fine talking with my friend about an incident where she got followed by a creepy guy who groped her while she's walking home. both situations are horrifying and bad ofc, but i cant exactly communicate or find an easy way to filter out the bad. like, i can handle hearing the graphic details, the bare bones account of what happens, but if it touches on how the victim was tricked or deceived or gets taken advantage of, even when its basically the least upsetting part, i just couldnt do it.

idk, maybe its because my experience was more in the mental stuff. yeah sure, it was only some groping, an almost kiss, and some sex talk. but the context was that i asked for help, someone friendly comes along, they say theyre just helping me but turns out they actually have ulterior motives. i was stuck in a car for hours to god knows where, fully knowing i was gonna get raped when the car eventually stops, trying to plead or at least delay it with someone i thought was a friend without being too harsh because i know they could do even worse things if i drop this thin veneer of friendliness we got going on. and all the while this asshole kept touching me in spots i didnt even realize was a sensitive place for me and i had to keep a straight face the whole time because if they see a hint that i liked it, its over. did i like though? yeah. do i want it? fuck no. never in a million years. and i felt betrayed because im supposed to have that moment of discovery with a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it was supposed to be nice and comforting but its not. and i might associate gentle touches with this forever. and there's also a part of me that said, hey somebody wants me. dont you want to be wanted? i might as well enjoy it because no one's gonna offer me hot car sex like this. i should try to get myself wet! this is a new experience that i should just see the bright side of. im supposed to be a kinky slut right? i just turned 20. and after all, i promised myself, after the first time i had my sa as a kid, the next time it happens im gonna fight. and what am i doing right now? i'm just running my mouth. im laughing at my soon to be rapists' joke and i tell him we should meet up later instead of doing everything right now since i had work later in the day. this isnt fighting, its bargaining. and all the while im wondering if i look pretty while im doing this. i hope i look pretty. im just wearing sweatshirt and pajama pants. this is sick, why do i want to look good while im sexually assaulted?

i never told this to anyone except a friend. but even she didnt get the whole account. she just know it happens. its the part that actually upsets me that i didnt tell her. the whole violated trust thing. and how dumb i am for instantly accepting help from an acquaintance i dont even know that well. and what happens after the car stops. all she knows is that when it stops, i pushed him off of me and i left the car and run.

to her it just seems like im valiantly fighting off an asshole. she didnt know that after i ran, a bunch of men saw me running. they asked me if i need help. they were kind. but i thought of the hassle of reporting to the police, being grilled with questions, have my entire behavior scrutinized, and my parents vacillating between unhelpful anger or chastising me for being so trusting and eventually isolating me because i cant be trusted to exist in a public space without being harassed and god i dont want to miss work today and theyre gonna ask why if i had to miss a day and theyre gonna know too. so obviously i shut up. i couldnt say anything. the fuck who assaulted me came, and get this, i went back to his car. i didnt sit next to him, i was sitting at the backseat, and he was angry and yelled at me the entire time while driving me back to the closest bus station. i didnt say anything, and i actually paid him money before leaving. i was a coward.

in hindsight, what happens after the next few month after that was just me trying to compensate for the shame and utter incompetence i felt. i thought i was good at being confrontational and assertive, but when it actually matters, i cant speak. it was awful. i mean, it was a moment of self improvement, i did evolve from being an awkward self-important debate kid to an adult who relies on being good with persuading people for a living. im proud of that. but the feeling of helplessness still remains. im still afraid that when it happens again, i'd just clam up like usual. even though i already successfully fend off several people trying to fuck with me before anything that bad ever happens because im a hot saleswoman now. it felt weird calling myself a victim or a survivor because, it just happens. i didnt survive shit nor do i want to be a victim. i dont want to be pitied. and i dont want to be called brave or anything because im anything but.

except that everytime something reminds me of my sa incident, i kept having this urge to tell somebody, and i'd wrote a long paragraph detailing everything that happened including all of the uncomfortable details that didnt make me look good as a victim. and then i'd delete it before sending because its not good to tell your personal triggers online right? but i have no one i want to talk about this irl. and i cant imagine any well-meaning response that doesnt make me angry. i kept thinking about it. if anyone acknowledged this happens to me, i have no socially acceptable response. im not sure if anyone could understand or be sympathetic. i mean, imagine someone told you a grave secret about them and then they get angry and throw a tantrum when you say youre keeping their secret to the grave. youre in the right to be angry and confused at them. and its one thing to write a retrospective like this, and its another thing talk about it directly. i wouldnt be self aware to control myself. i'd just ruin another friendship because i got pissed off for no discernable reason.

i dont really know where im going with this. i think i just wanted to get this out of my system. its been what? three years? im sick of keeping that shit in. i think i just need to talk about it, sort of like a confessional before moving on for good. anyway, your usual shitposting will resume shortly. bye bitch!

#sa cw #this is about my personal experience with it #and something about abstract triggers

[gayspock]

ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

TH

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

um

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

TH

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

HI

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

NM

M

M

M

M

M

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

#Egg.txt #YELLOWJACKETS LIVEBLOG

[sereniv]

@memecology Cutting you out bc there was a comment on that thread i didn't care for

But this is exactly what i mean when i talk about Veganism. (Possitive post)

Veganism has a specific need to be considered by the term Vegan (which really isnt anything but descriptive of philosophy) and that is that a core value, as in morals, philosophy wtvr, is that we all and individually should do our best to avoid all unnecessary animal exploitation.

And not everyone believes that. Some people have different ideas of what is nescessary, etc.

and that looks different for everyone bc we arent all the same or in the same situation. what im able to do might differ from you. I take pills tested on animals and have animal products in them. This i cant help and its not possible to stop. Maybe for someone else they are able to. We could both still call ourselves vegan

But a lot of people arent by definition, vegan. They are plant based, meaning they consume a plant based diet and stick with it for other reasons like understanding the ecological impact, but might otherwise not believe that animals are sentient or for whatever reason, the definition of veganism doesnt resonate with them

and thats fine.

This person isn't vegan by definition because they dont agree with the definition, but they do eat a plant based diet which would make them plant based.

Not every vegan can eat 100% plant based. and its ridiculous to expect every single person to be able to do that, or to say that regardless of what they believe and regardless of how hard theyre trying to avoid animal exploitation- that they cant call themselves vegan bc they are incapable of eating 100% plant based?

You cant be Blank if you make mistakes. You can't be Blank if you are physically unable to do something

And in cases where someone lets it slide like "oh youre allergic to most plant based food so you get a pass. you can eat animal products but still call yourseld vegan" like whos deciding this? wheres the line drawn and the criteria to figure whos got a pass?

But yeah, veganism isnt about us and what we call ourselves. all it tells you is what we commonly believe as a philosophy.

I am vegan and 100% plant based. Which means i go by the definition, and my diet consists of only plants (except for things i cant avoid like certain medications).

This person is Plant based but not vegan. And thats fine because its not anyones job to focus on individuals and quiz them and all that.

The goal is to do our individual best, to provide information, to change what we can, so that it makes it more accessible and easier for people to make more plant based and vegan decisions. Meaning deciding to eat alternatives, or deciding not to buy leather or go to a zoo or circus that directly supports animals for entertainment. or even just choosing an anti acid that doesnt have gelatin in it even though you might not like it as much. small decisions that can still add up in terms of an impact

I could easily drop the title of vegan. it doesnt matter. what matters is that we all are doing what we can, and that we challenge what we know and accept that things are different than how we were taught.

what matters is actually being honest with what you are able to do and arent. and to never stop asking your self.

It took me a long time to switch to plant based gum. I was honest with myself that i got non vegan gum because it was convienent and cheaper.

my goal was to switch to vegan gum. this was something that took me a year to finally make the switch indefinitely

i pushed myself, made reasonable sacrifices (not getting it when i wanted it because it wasnt vegan) and eventually got myself to a point where it was easy to choose vegan

The whole point is that i kept at it. i didnt point the finger at myself, but i kept at it and eventually changed.

Thats all it is. Getting my mindset to align, to see past the gum and see how it was made and the impact and that i was paying for that when I could just go to a different store and buy a plant based version.

Anyway yeah. Labels dont matter in the end, but when it does matter is when talking about choice. Necessity.

Veganism should be a gateway into conversation not some strict "you have to do this or else you cant call yourself this".

What matters to me is that we are constantly working on being better individually and collectively. And thats why id rather work with people rather then focus on what they are or arent doing

Idk if that makes sense im half asleep but i appreciate this comment. I think that maybe theres some information this person doesnt have or else they logically would consider themselves vegan

but i honestly dont care. im open for people to come to me, but im not going to waste my time on individual people.

Best thing to do is spread info, provide sources, so that people come to their own conclusions. that they feel comfortable making changes. that they find it fun to explore a new way of thinking or living

etc etc im typing too much ive said all this before sorey

#vegan ref #memecology

[ants-personal]

have another scene were evan is sitting at the beach by the water hugging his legs with his chin resting on his knees. Staring at the water solemnly as tears run down his cheeks as the wind blows gently.

Tim who had panicked before thinking wvan had runoff somewhere finally finds him and approaches quietly standing beside evan for a bit neither wpeaking evan wiping his face and eventually tim would ask if he can sit and when evan would just look away and nid he would slowly lower himself and sit crisscross. Hands resting in his lap worrying his bottom lip. He hasnt been very good at comforting himself let alone others but he doesnt want to just leave evan alone.

Just as tim thinks of something at least slightly comforting evan cuts him off

" I know you think we have to do whatever it is habit asked. But we dont or i mean you dont I can go off myself no one else has to suffer oe die for whatever hes planning. I mean shit if you want to actual help me youd drive me out to the middle of this stupid ass ocean and push me over with rocks on each ankle."

And itd stun tim really and hed just shake his head cause of course not he wouldnt do that to evan or anyone he knows whats its like to kill someone and it nearly destroyed him.

Hed shake his head

" Evan im not going to do that it wouldnt help anyone. If ive learned anything its thay whatever these ... other things are that haunt us is that they wont just let us go no matter what. But i know we don't know eachother that well but i believe me when i say i know what your going through. Maybe not like exactly but this shits been ruining my life even when I cant remember it."

Hed place a hand tentatively on evans shoulder anf just hold it there and right as hes about to pull it away thinking hes gone to far evan leans into it.

" but im not doing this cause habit said i mean not entirely i am so he leaves Jessica out of this mess. But im also doing this as a way to end it ince and for all make that faceless fuck leave me and you and everyone else its tormented alone. We can stop it and then finally move on to idk something better worrying about stupid stuff like taxes instead of other wordly entities."

Evan would sigh with a small while ll3tting go of his legs to just fall back staring up at the sky next to tim

" You know you are fucking annoying when you think your right about something you get a certain look in your eye.

" I hate it."

Tim would chuckle and pat evans arm Evan sighs again turning to look at tim with a slight frown

"This sucks but you both i dont have a choice like always so fine"

" Well you dont have to say it like that but i guess so cmon before you get sick or something and we can start getting ready to for the longest roadtrip of our lives."

Evan moving to sit up exaggerating his moments till hes slumped up tim standing dusting his pants off before extending a hand to evan who glances at it then tim before just rolling his eyes and taking it both groaning as tim pulls evan up which the other purposly makes harder then it needs to be. Tim just shakes his head with a small smile acting annoyed as he turns them both to walk back to his house. He hasnt had to deal with someone elses antics in so long. Its kinda nice.

"Since you are driving me to hell which is your and his idea remind you. Im making you have to buy me whatever snacks and fuck all I want."

That makes tim laugh.

#i just wanted the sad beach scene its like grey evans sad and im projecting me and tim both are bad at comforting idk if this is anything #everymanhybrid #emh #emh evan #evan myers #marble hornets #tim wright #mh tim wright #everymanhornets #ant posts stuff

[effectivelyweird]

The NHS is hell (gynaecology edition)

Six weeks ago I had a pelvic prolapse of some sort. This caused varying levels of pain and discomfort. I havent been able to walk anywhere, or stand for more than a few minutes before experiencing pain. At the end of the worst days I have to push my insides back in.

I obviously went straight to my GP who was unable to examine me because it hurt too much to even get a finger in. At that point I basically didnt have a vagina, it was collapsed and squished, of course it was going to be tough to get a feel. GP referred me to gynaecology to get an ultrasound.

SIX WEEKS LATER I finally have an appointment. I get in (partner in tow for support) and am immediately asked:

Doctor: "Why are you here?"

Like??? Didnt you read the referral? MEe: "I've had a prolapse" Doctor: "How many children?" Me: "None" Doctor: Pauses and looks confused

Now, whilst it is far more common for people who've given birth to have a prolapse, it absolutely is not the only thing to cause one. I fall into basically every other risk category, it is NOT a surprise that this has happened.

Then I was asked to give my entire medical history and all the meds Im currently taking.

Like?????? WHY dont you already have that information???? I've waited six weeks in on and off agony, unable to leave the flat, holding out for this appointment, and now I have to spend the first half of it giving you information you should already have.

We move on to a physical examination. I explain that despite taking a pill to stop my periods, surprise! Im having a period. I have brought stuff to get me sorted and cleaned up (I use a cup, cant really be examined with that in) and explain Im happy to go get sorted so we can do this.

Doctor makes a rude comment like "If you'll let us examine you" like I didnt just make it clear I was happy to be examined. So now Im wondering wtf did that referral say? My GP hadnt been able to examine me because of intense pain when she tried, not because I didnt let her.

So I get myself sorted and lying on the examination bed. Im already very uncomfortable with being poked about down there for multiple reasons but I always suck it up because they're medical professionals and are here to help. For extra context, I have a skin disorder down there which means I tear very easily, things have narrowed or disappeared entirely, basically you have to handle me with care. I havent had sex in nearly six years due to discomfort both in and out.

Doc comes over, lubes up and dives straight in. If I hadnt just pulled my cup out of me, this in itself would have caused great pain. She then moves around wildly to get a good feel, hitting a tender spot and making me yelp.

"Oh, did that hurt?" she says, clearly surprised.

"Uh, yeah??" I say incredulously. Of course it fucking hurt. I have something out of place in that area and you just tried to scramble my eggs.

Doc abandons her examination and goes back to her computer. I am not given anything to wipe myself down with so Im left with a mass of lube and fluids for my pants to just deal with I guess.

I was then told I was being passed on to the womens hospital who will "make sure youre doing your kegel exercises properly" "I havent been given any kegel exercises though?"

Doctor looks surprised and slides a hand written note over to me. It has a website name for me to look up and learn from there.

Then it was over.

Without telling me ANY information about what was happening with my body. So did I have a prolapse? Did I not? Did she feel everything was fine? Did she feel something wrong?

I DONT KNOW

Im exactly as clueless as I was before I went in there, and now a little traumatised from the experience.

I waited six weeks, unable to live my life in that time, only to spend £20 I dont have to go to an appointment I didnt need. I was referred to get an ultrasound from gynaecology and instead I got an aggressive examination and then palmed off to the next clinic without a care in the world. I clearly stated when I went in that I am autistic and have ADHD but even if I wasnt I think I would have still been shook from her (lack of) bedside manners. I still dont know whats happening to my body. I still dont know what I should be doing, or not doing, to help this issue.

All I know is that I didnt get what I was referred for and now I cant pay my bills.

And I still have to stuff my insides back in on a bad day.

#nhs crisis #nhs #gynaecology #im so fucking tired of this shit #this is a widespread issue across the nhs

[chaudharis]

hey ! would YOU like to know more abt him? awesome because im gonna dump my design notes and lore notes for him here for funsies! i just wanted to make an info post for him! thank you for reading if you do!

its a bit of a long one btw, so apologies for thwt. i am very much open to ideas and suggestions for developing this little. interpretation? au? whatever you might call this. feel free to play around with him as u like hes not my oc :^] just a fun idea

DESIGN NOTES:

i want to make it clear most of the design stuff is bc i thought it was cool. then i bullshit my reasoning behind it. remember this.

i also dont know how exactly to organize this so smth more lore related might be in the design section and vise versa. i dont care enough to make this better

also design is still very subject to change because i enjoy constantly fiddling with things. fun! might update if its different enough.

uses mostly reds/purples to directly complement athetos's greens and blues. trace takes comfort in this, for the most part.

just a fun idea but i rhink its neat to have traces Not Human-ness be biological, to contrast with indras being entirely technological/robotic. adds to their parallels. (and both of them being physical at all is a parallel to hammond being fucking dead /j)

wonder why his mouth has those faint marks at the corners? because it can do this now!

why you might ask? i dont know. ask someone else. i thiught it was cool. the orange line on #3 is supposed to indicate where his mouth normally wouldve ended. so he has a wider mouth technically!

hes much more movement based now! since this also acts as a fun idea for what if in a future av game(s) we got gameplay that was even more abt the movement. so hes pretty good at parkour now. specifically climbing. ive been imagining he moves a lot like u do in celeste, except probably more stamina and faster climbing. less focus on dashing. but he can air dash too!

he has his gun i promise he has the gun i just dont like drawing it it sucks to draw

yea so he is covered in carapace, since ive had to scrap that with a different chatacter (if you know, you know) i get to put it on the same character but in a different direction. i can do whatever i want forever.

size comparison over his weird. tentacle things idk what ud call them exactly. they got bigger because i can do anything. also bc when i originally drew them i didnt look up a ref (i rarely use refs for charas and prefer to go off of memory unless i need to) and so i was like ok so thwyre big right? right. well turns out theyre not. but guess what. now they are. it is so awesome for him

for funsies i think trace can put stupid shit in his hair. its a tangled mess stuff will very easily stay in there. he hasnt brushed it in years man. he always forgets what he puts in there btw so its always a surprise for him

oh also his labcoat also is Different but i cant figure out what hed have that isnt already in av1. so imagine he does smth new WOW WOW SO COOL !

LORE NOTES:

this whole hashtag Look is either from the original bioflux mutation getting worse or a few different ones. i havent decided which one i wanna go with. either way this is a gradual change. it will get worse!

see i dont have much for What hes doing because i dont have any ideas for what the rusalki are doing now so thats very much up in the air. all i have rn is that hes helping them somehow. not of his own choice really.

has a very. Not Great relationship with the rusalki. hes incredibly bitter about his situation (lack of any real control) and so. well they arent besties. hes a lot more snarky and rude to them. which is fair i think how would you feel in a situation like that huh. not so great huh.

his best friend is oracca bc shes the only person who hasnt lied to him and has only been helpful and he loves to chill with her. she never speaks or does much of anything but thats fine with trace, he doesnt mind. likes to do the rubber duck thing with her (says thing out loud to pin point whats wrong with whatever hes working on). she also doesnt mind id like to think

hes. a little more aggressive but as a defense mechanism. hes in hostile territory all the time and under incredible stress all the time, can you blame him realky? stress can make people aggressive, it turns out. crazy.

also with this, i say hes more aggressive but hes just more all bark no bite. hes like this

but if you take like, anothwr step closer hes like this

see. hes still kind of a weenie dw. i understand

he really wants to be kinder again. but hes not in a situation where he can. this kills him

also! heavy unreality issues. this is what happens when you spend months if not years thinking ur living ur life as usual until it gets revealed actually you were in a dream simulation the whole time. unrelated but i think he hates the movie inception.

the unreality is still a massive issue but he copes with it by after so long just going "ok well ill just assume Everything is a dream no matter what because the opposite would be horrifying and i have no evidence that disproves this. but i can act like i dont think this on the off chance rhat it is real. but i know its not"

doesnt come up much at all because hes not ever around someone New but he is pretty self conscious about how he is now. i think hes also a very touch swnsory person so he develops lots of touch related tics. like when nervous he starts to pick at himself, runs hands through hair a lot, etc etc. very touchy. with the parts hes most self conscious abt.

massive identity issues, especially because of his distinct lack of humanity. how can he really be trace anymore if hes changed so much, etc etc. those questions. he can feel his connection to The Trace Identity sorta fading as he becomes his own kinda guy away from this but it fucking sucks for him. because if hes not trace then what is he. who is he. if you tell him athetos hed curl up and cry

speaking of curling up and crying, thats what hes kinda doing a lot internally. he really wants to go home man and for real this time he wont want to go back to sudra this time he promises. but also if he does go back he will be 100% convinced that isnt real. which is fair

if you ask him how long hes been there he'll tell you "a few months, i think." this is not true, he has been there for years doing somethinh, couldnt tell ya what tho!

Generally Not Doing Too Great On Many Levels But Hes Dealing With It

ok thats abt all i can think of atm? ill update this if needed. otherwise hi if you read this ur very kind and i appreciate that. it feels nice when people read my stuff. makes me feel good :^] i hope you feel good today too. today is a good day

#txt #trace #beast mode #my art #wheeeeee !!! wheeeeee

[szif]

it's kinda just like. i am genuinely not good at anything because i am physically and mentally incapable of learning things and remember them. any creative skill just flows out of me the moment i start doing things. and like, i've been thinking more and more about all of what i've been doing and it's not pretty. i am incapable of learning anything. i am incapable of mastering something to a point where i can say i know it and that i'm a beginner in it. i literally cant understand things. and like, okay, i'm not good at anything, sure, but that doesn't mean the end of the world. i exist as a person without doing anything, really. i still have a personality and i still interact with people and i exist. oh. that really was the breaking point for me right now. like right now lately i've just been going up to people and started talking to others and i've been nice to so many people and reached out to them (thank you if youve been a part of this and i strung you along it and now we're buddies, if it happened online) and i've been so happy by this, actually. i literally just approached people when we were doing some activity together and then we were on the "saying hello to each other" terms. and then sometimes i got those people come up to me and say hi to me and try to talk to me. establish connection. and like. okay i never had that. i never had friends and nobody really talked to me (as if i was incapable of talking to them back too.) and like. i dont know, it feels weird typing it down because then i am adsmitting something personal about me and i dont really want to do that because it feels. pathetic. and weird. and i quickly realized that like yes i connect to people and some people are so nice and they talk to me back but like. with what i am and how i am like i literally have no place anywhere. like i do not actually think i will find a place where somebody like me can be. not even meant to be there, but just can be there. it really feels like im tip-toeing everywhere i go and try to restrain myself from being too weird or whatever. and its like. fuck do i do about that. and how is it that ANYWHERE i go and no matter what i do nothing feels good. like i could talk to a thousand people and not even one person would actually be fine with me, i feel. i feel like i am simply having some self-esteem issues or whatever but the more i think about it its like. i dont know. it doesnt feel like it. but it might be. i dont know. i dont really want to call it that . but i literally dont know what to say when any person i talked to ever in my life doesnt care and i cant exactly feel like they care about me at all. its not even anything. i have been. i mean people talked to me. we. they care about me to some extent. and im happy about that. but then the gaping hole widens because i get sadder and sadder how i cant exactly CONNECT to them. like im just an entirely different breed of a thing and they cant have any of that. like, i am trying my absolute best here to do it. to talk and to connect. and to be. but then nothing really helps. and i guess from the outside it could just be seen that im lonely. sure. its just really fucking painful and i dont know what to do about it at all because its like. literally. what to do about this. what is wrong with me. why cant i be on the same level as anybody else. i genuinely feel like my parents dropped me on my head as a child and now i am incapable of performing anything the average person can and im expected to do all of that they can. i feel like im the lowest of the low and im simply hanging by a thread. and that once that thread snaps people will think of me the exact same way as the others who cannot do the same as them. and its fucking scary because i just know. i know how they treat anybody whos not like them. who cannot actually do anything. and its like. i dont want to be that vulnerable. i just want to achieve a sense of normalcy and not feel actively threatened by me... i dont know. what am i? i feel like i got some severe case of brain damage or something.

#like the solution to this is to fix myself. but thats literally impossible nobody can operate like that i just want to feel alright #i dont want to be slipping i want to be stable on the ground but i feel like with each passing moment im close to being PUSHED off a cliff #or maybe i just jump myself because i dont seem to be capable of being stable therefore i. #i dont know it all just feels weird. i cant do anything. everything is wrong. dont know how to fix

[corruptedsilence]

.

i know its my depression saying this but i just

i feel so useless here. i feel pointless, i feel so upset and angry at myself because im so angry at the fact i dont or cant ever just feel good enough. i forget so much and it makes me forget just how much i have and i come of as ungrateful and i just dont know what to do

ive hurt people because im so stupid, my emotions getting the better of me nad i cant do anything right here. im jumping blogs hoping it’ll fix something but no matter what its still just me, its still just the shit person i am who can’t get her fucking act together and do anything. maybe i should just yeet myself out, i dont know where i belong, i dont know where to go, im so stressed and i just wish i could sleep but if i dont do something ill only be more angry because i couldnt do what i love

i feel so isolated some days but i know its my own fault because i dont reach out and i just dont click with people because i cant socialize and i get so anxious thinking im always a burden, im always a problem people have to deal with so its better i just dont show up so everyone can have fun, its not like i contrubute anything to anyone anyway. maybe one or two people but even then they’d still do fine without me here, everyone would, because it always feels like whenever im gone i miss everything but when im here everyone is gone so i barely feel like im her at all.

im so tired, overworked, stressed, i just want to stay home and cry all day

but i cant because i cant just acll in, i have to call in monday becaus they keep scheduling me on days i have therapy and im tired of rescheduling and rescheduling and fighting for my own fucking right to get help

this is exactly what i wanted to avoid, depression posting but i guess i just cant help myself becuase i just feel alone and i just want someome here but i know no one can do anything because its my own issue

#Out for a Bite // OOC #Screams from the Abyss // MT #Negative TW #Vent TW #;; just ignore this #;; i needed to scream into the void

[spikeinthepunch]

your cryptoalia post about vehicles is interesting! I love seeing how people world build like this, with such freedom and then where they end up. From my personal experience, something is missing for me though - bikes! I couldn't imagine a world without that kind of easy personal short range vehicle, so I'm interested whether you have considered it all.

Another thing that stood out for me is "work" vehicles like garbage trucks or tractors for field work. How does that work?

I'm asking because I find it fun to talk about this stuff but please tell me to fuck off if I'm bothering you lol

thank you! and im am so glad to have anyone ask further about the ideas! honestly it helps me further develop, since i dont always think about certain questions people would have on the outside. its good to bounce off others when they question things i just dont think of.

very good to question non-motorized vehicles like bikes, so much of my world has been built around a mysterious "energy source". the world basically relies on this energy source for everyday functions and it is known to be 100% reliable, and generally not questioned to use things outside of it due to convenience.

buuut its not like things like pushed skooters and pedal bikes havent existed (the influence on human history would not have been old enough to stop that from existing)-- rather they likely fell out of style greatly because of the convenience of electric vehicles. still, thats not to say theyre gone i think. people have interest in vintage history, or some may want to do something outside of the "system". overall, motorcycles are likely the only thing you'll find if you were to try and buy a "bike" and even then it'd be locked into the digital system tracking all tethered vehicles. so to consider something powered by your body would be to deny the ease of current life, and that could lead to be further thinking about those who dont want to follow the near utopia like system-- but. back to vehicles

body powered things like that, may have more levels of strictness in certain areas. because for our main setting (the most strict of places as Elias oversees it directly) tracking tethered vehicles and the way theyre used is important- hacking it, going off road in specific areas, etc result in fines or potentially jail time depending on what youre doing. body powered vehicles like bicycles cant be tracked.... so, thats a problem. most people would wonder why tf youre using something body powered anyways because energy powered bikes are so much easier, mostly when they put you on a track you can just follow with ease! i wouldnt say youd get thrown in jail just for having one lol- youre allowed to indulge in them and say theyre hobbies- and youre allowed to ride them on the tracks provided-- but like anyone else youd be greatly fined for doing something already considered illegal, but maybe with the added consequence of it being taken away from you too.

onto other things though- yes, i didnt really specify other kinds of work vehicles (was on my mind but didnt think to elaborate).

all kinds of work vehicles- like for construction, mail, garbage etc work a bit differently in order to conserve on space. those vehicles as we know are big, and the world has become very tight due to the lack of parking lots and roads.

Garbage trucks dont exactly exist in the same way and are entirely automated- not run by people. for ease of access these automated garbage trucks follow a specific invisible track in order to reach all households and trash containers. they aren't "untethered" in a traditional sense, because they are automated and their paths are predetermined. trash is gathered in specific areas/containers, which is where the garbage truck picks it up.

mail is also automated entirely (but post offices exist still) in a similar fashion as garbage trucks.

for things like.. forklifts, cranes, etc etc- a lot of the time, these vehicles are also automated to come degree, with users actually managing them outside of the vehicle itself (in an office/building where the company owns it). why? think of it this way-- the cities have become very compact in order to fit everything into it. the tracks for subways/trains and individual vehicles take up a lot less space which means more buildings. more buildings and way less roads means everything squashed together. when something needs to be built or taken down in such an area, precision it key and so is making your vehicles super small in order to actually work. Too small and skinny to want to put a person into it- it costs more, it can be dangerous, etc...!

theres probably more i could expand on in this department too-- as work related vehicles turns me to... farming etc... is that automated too? to some level, again yeah. its not to say those kinds of labor jobs dont exist in this world- i am heavily focusing on the current setting which is probably the most "advanced" in this regard, while other countries may not do everything this way because of money/scale/etc. Cryptolalia's world is... supposed to come off like a "utopia" where things are "easy and safe" even if a little strict in places, but often places that dont matter much to those who live there. lots of jobs are admittedly, office jobs... management, organization, political, etc with lots of labor falling out of style unless someone has a passion for it. but that will be a blog post for another day unless anyone is curious about something specific lol.

#vehicles #transportation #world building #cryptolalia