#capitalist osha

[theramblingvoid]

One of your coworkers walks into your factory where he agreed to not visit any more, and everyone's stopped working to look at him now, so you have to go say hi, and anyway you need to know why he's here so he can leave faster because you've got some very important sketchy fake coins to manufacture and you've got a schedule to keep damnit. You go ask said coworker why he's here. He says nothing. He starts biting you repeatedly. No explanation is offered. The biting continues. You are Mr. Fires.

#fallen london #bal spoilers #it's not bag a legend now it's Bite a legend and i will be biting it absolutely as much as physically possible #see this is what happens if you're a capitalist and you don't follow OSHA! HAH get BITED #wild day for Fires though hdhfhfhdj #i wonder how much of a normal thing it is for Masters to just. bite each other #it actually increases your credibility on a success so maybe...

[threebea]

Okay I love the fanon Dooku and Obi-Wan dynamic and all of them getting along and being a great master and Padawan pair.

But consider...

Au where for whatever reason Dooku has to take on Obi-Wan's apprenticeship and they absolutely hate each other.

Dooku (68 and trying to get seduced to the dark side): are you going to tattle to the council again?

Obi-Wan (19 and not having it): are you going to drop protocol and try to choke someone out with the Force again?

Like Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon always had their moments of friction but the level of ice that can develop between Dooku and Obi-Wan is legendary.

Obi-Wan: Master I don't think siding with capitalists and billionaires will help the people of this planet like you think it will.

Dooku: the red tape of the republic-

Obi-Wan: is there to ensure walkways have guard rails. Do you see a guard rail here? If knighthood doesn't pan out I'm applying for a job with Space OSHA.

Dooku: Padawan the Jedi are the attack dogs of the Senate.

Obi-Wan: hey I am not the one using the force to choke people on my missions. I use my words. I think you'll find you're the one attacking--

Dooku: are you ever going to let that go?

Obi-Wan: of course Master! I know how to let go! Unlike you when you're crushing someone's windpipe!

Dooku: why you little-

Obi-Wan: *choking sounds*

Mace: you've been together for a month, surely this is just a rocky first step.

Dooku lifts his arm, Obi-Wan is biting him hanging off by his teeth: I'm going to level with you Master Windu. I was considering leaving the Jedi and joining a Sith Lord who plans to destroy the Jedi and take over the galaxy, but now my only desire is to get as far away from Obi-Wan Kenobi as I can and never speak to him again.

#count dooku #obi-wan kenobi #just having fun #i was thinking of icy glares over the tea table but somehow it became absurdist

[all-is-for-all]

the movie: [a wealthy capitalist sets up a factory in the middle of a low-income british(?)/american(?) neighborhood to exploit cheap labor, only to fire everybody when his IP might be threatened; exploits indentured colonized people for free labor; "tests" an impoverished kid by dangling thousands of dollars in front of his face, claiming he "passed" when the kid refused to better his situation; lets four children probably die; probably has mountains of osha violations and is trying to pawn off his factory onto someone else so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences]

the theory: is the impoverished bed-ridden 80-year-old man who stands up for the aforementioned kid during the "test" actually the real villain of this story???? 😱🤯😏😜

#willy wonka #charlie and the chocolate factory

[slender-bureaucracy]

Government Approved List of Slender Blogs (Pt2)

(Collected by the Blog Oversight Agency (BOA))

Gamer Slenderman (@gamer-slenderman)

Santa Slenderman (@santa-slenderman)

Anarchist Slenderman (@anarchist-slenderman)

Jolly Slenderman (@jollyslenderman)

Bigenderman (@realest-bigenderman)

Slenderman Éireannach (@irishslenderman)

Communist Slenderman (@communist-slenderman)

Sapphic Slenderman (@sapphicslender)

Bisexual Slenderman (@bisexualslenderman)

Acephobic Slenderman (@acephobic-slenderman)

Budget Cuts Slenderman (@budgetcutsslenderman)

Argentinian Slenderman (@argentinian-slenderman)

Wildcard Slenderman (@wildcard-slenderman)

Sleepy Slenderthem ( @sleepyslenderthem )

The Slendgineer (@the-slendgineer)

Learning French Slenderman (@learningfrenchslenderman)

Nyanbinary Slenderman (@nyanbinary-slenderman)

OSHA Slenderman (@osha-slenderman)

Prosecutor Slenderman (@prosecutor-slenderman)

Slenderman Mom (@slenderman-mom)

Slenderman JWRI (@slenderman-jrwi)

Slender Pup (@slenderpupp)

Slender Worm (@slenderworm)

Capitalist Slenderman (@capitalist-slenderman)

Aro Orchid Slenderman ( @aroorchid-slenderman )

Slenderstuck ( @slenderstuck )

Slendergal High ( @slendergal-high )

Slender Wingman ( @slender-wingman )

Divorced Slenderman ( @divorced-slenderman )

Slenderwoman ( @slender-woman-returns )

Prenup Slenderman ( @prenup-slenderman )

Memorium Man ( @memorium-man )

Slender Judge ( @slender-judge )

Troll Slenderman ( @troll-slenderman )

Robloxian Slenderman ( @robloxian-slenderman )

Slenderjerma ( @slenderjerma )

Slender exploding car with hammer ( @slenderexplodingcarwithhammer )

Blenderman ( @blender-man )

Emperor of Slendkind ( @emperor-of-slendkind )

Discourse Slenderman ( @discourse-slenderman )

Slenderbrows ( @slenderbrows )

Purple slenderman ( @purple-slenderman )

Slemon ( @lemon-slenderman )

[43 Total]

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Killer (@spooky-killer-ooh)

William Afton (@williamfnafton)

#please let me know if there's any duplicates y'all #i'd fix the mishaps on the first list but it literally will not let me edit it anymore rip </3 #also lemme know if the antigov people wanna be on the non-gov approved list #side eyeing you anarchy #slender list #slenderdirectory #slender blogs #also i'll put up a masterpost later with links to both of them

[rigberts]

Actually, let's move this to a different post. What do you think labor rights is like in omegaverse? Depending on your personal canon, omegas and alphas need several days to a week off work at a time anywhere from once a year to every month, and that probably doubles once you get a partner.

Is that like, paid leave? Is rut/heat leave a federally protected right, or do you need to join a union to guarantee it? Do betas also get the same amount of paid leave? Are betas preferable employees for not having heat cycles? Are employers legally allowed to ask about your secondary gender before hiring?

Suppressants are a common feature of ABO, but is your employer allowed to require you use them?

What about people with an irregular cycle? Do they get extra leave? Is it legal to fire someone for having an irregular cycle?

Are scents a workplace hazard? What are OSHA requirements regarding powerful scents? Again, is having a strange or distracting scent something you can be fired for?

Depending on answers, your omegaverse can be something of a dystopian capitalist hellscape trying to dictate human biology to suit its needs OR a surprisingly progressive work culture modeled after northern European social democracy.

#characters: let us fuck #me: but the labor laws!!

[badlysummedupmoviestournament]

If you recognize the movies hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.

Movie n°1: Currently doing that

An old capitalist built a zoo with rampant OSHA violations and SO MUCH corner-cutting. He decides to show off his cool thing he built to a group of specialized experts and some kids. A corporate rival bribes a staff member to defect to steal their top-tier zoo technology. The animals end up escaping and eating people because the one guy was just so bad at sneaking away properly.

Movie n°2: The colour of despair

Spaceship find a really cool rock. Rock be wildin. People be wildin and some of them even grow some parts.

#movies summed up badly tournament #tournament poll

[ctommy-chileno]

Previous

Yay! A letter! Whou could it be? Maybe its mom, or a friend, or advertising, or a fan??? The possibilities are endless

This isnt a letter

Its an invitation

"You're Invited!

Come to my mansion this Saturday at 8 pm for a party TO DIE FOR. ha. haha. Don't worry for the cold temperature as my mansion will have its doors and windows VERY CLOSED to not let any cold in. Or out. Murder. Anyways, Snackies will be provided.

My Regards:

Mr. Eugene Coli"

Hey, wasnt that the famous guy that had a very big brand factory or something capitalist like that

But then

Well, its good to know he got better after losing his job, and fame, and respect, and getting shamed by the public. Im sure that will do nothing bad to his psyche or make him do something irrepearable. Anyways, Snackies! Our detective has something to do tonight!

#one last to go!!!

[humunanunga]

Say it came through science. Simple rituals to levitate objects. The first result was the most surprising. You tried to explain it using quantum mechanics and still couldn't place an explanation.

What would you call it, as gravity vanished?

I... think this is supposed to be some kinda gotcha, under the impression that I said not to believe in magic? But I have more than one answer to this, some in direct response to this and some not. So let me just go down the list and maybe I'll figure out how to abbreviate myself along the way.

I'll start by saying that what is science to us in the 21st century would very much be sorcery back in the Bronze Age. And that's before even touching upon alchemy, which played a major role in the development of the scientific method. In this way, the difference between science and real-world "magic" is the framing. Programming could be described as spellbinding. 3d-printing could be described as conjuration. Pharmaceuticals could be described as potions.

So realistically, if it were discovered in the Digital Age that a ritual could induce levitation, and parlor tricks were ruled out, it would most likely be called a new physics discovery until further studies were made. Is it telekinesis, or is something actually canceling out the force of gravity upon this object? Is this object also experiencing the negation of air pressure, and how is it not affecting anything else? (There's a lot of gases in the sky pressing down upon the ground, as even gases are matter and therefore mass, which becomes weight under the effect of gravity, which is how we get less air pressure at higher altitudes.)

If this phenomenon could be reproduced simply by a ritual, every capitalist corporation would want their employees to do it too and before OSHA regulations catch up with the discovery, so they'd call it a job position.

If this phenomenon could be reproduced by equipment, then buddy, it's gonna be called whatever the leading brand named their device, just like "bandaid" or "dumpster."

People didn't always understand why some rocks seemed to curse their bearers either, but then we developed equipment and studies that could perceive radioactivity. So even if this scenario really did happen, all it would mean is that we either haven't figured out which known force is acting upon the object or the device necessary to perceive the acting force hasn't been invented yet. And I mean, hey, we're still at least a few years short of mind-readers or Ghost in the Shell brand telepathy.

Now, here looks like a good place to interject with what @claire-starsword and @no-foxgiven said so well in the notes:

#to believe in the supernatural is to be open minded about the things we don't and possibly can't explain #not to throw away the explanations we do have

#this is why i love Clarke's Third Law (and its reversal) #''Any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic'' #Like yeah computers are magic #electricity? if you don't know enough it certainly is #but also the reverse #''Any sufficiently understood magic is indistinguishable from science'' #the mitochondria may be the powerhouse of the cell but also we just magically process magic #diseases transmit through curses (pathogens) #Life is magical and science is magic!

Even if we have no understanding of engineering, frankly, the reason we don't usually think of computers as magic is because they're mundane. Basically, most real-world magic like physics or sentience or morality isn't called magic because we reserve that word for mythologized interpretations.

There was one more point I was gonna tack on at the end, what was it... ah, right.

My post didn't say not to believe in magic. I was saying to be careful. Not to tell anyone to touch grass, but having a sense of wonder is important. Indulging in a little whimsy is fulfilling, but believing something that doesn't hold up against fact-checking just because you want to live out a fantasy where you're the heroic rebellion against demon overlords is how you get an angry mob bringing a noose to the White House.

#it's striking midnight by the time i finish typing so i'm just /hoping/ this is coherent with as much body text as i put into this #magic #mysticism #tldr #serious #inbox #anonymous

[doctormage]

few things make me want to kill capitalists more than reading OSHA guidelines. what do you mean we have to force people to provide shade and drinkable water to employees who work outside in 100F+ heat. what do you mean we have to explicitly define what shade is and how much water you are required to provide. what do you fucking mean we have to fucking specify that the water must be fucking DRINKABLE. I’m going to murder you

#i knew all this shit already I’m just re-mad about it bc of a doc I’m working on #fuckin hate it here

[splathousefiction]

"porn is-"

Let me stop whatever puritanical bullshit you're about to say right there. Let's cut all the fuck-shit hand wringing and get right to brass tacks.

Does the adult industry have its issues?

Abso-fucking-lutely. Every industry has a base exploitation of labor, and under a capitalist system often that will be to a de-humanizing degree. Every single job in the world fucking sucks, even if it's a job you love. The porn industry especially has it's share of horror stories both from the production side and how the consumer market treats sex workers.

But I'm not gonna sit here and let your fucking opinion of what I do for a living - a profession where I was given bodily autonomy and respect for that autonomy, both legally and from my audience - turn into federal laws and regulation.

The porn industry has safety checks, physical consent slips, mandatory STI testing and much more to the point it would make an OSHA inspector blush. If you're a solo star working out of your home with a modicum of understanding re: how to market yourself, you can make a living wage ($20 an hour and up) as opposed to the federally mandated minimum wage ($7.25 an hour as of this writing). As such you're also more than likely an independent contractor, so you can walk away from the job at any time for any reason whatsoever unless you've signed a contract (in which case, read your terms).

Porn historically has, and continues to have, a racism and sexism problem. But this isn't the 60s and 70s. /Because/ of a combination of /labor regulations/ AND /consumer demand/, the market now has more female/queer and BIPOC industry leaders than ever before. Which is a far cry more than you're going to get in most corporate offices.

The adult industry was the first place I was respected for both the true value of my labor and on terms with my identity, with both often protected by the platforms I worked for (and my audience!). To disregard it as "immoral and exploitive" is to use verbatim the same fascist ideals of a "pure" culture those particular slack-jawed, gravel-brained, total wastes of spaces are gonna use to eventually /eliminate you/ when you're not good enough for the cause anymore.

The denigration of sexual expression is the destruction of freedom of expression, and the element which weathers away the strength of the human spirit.

I'm sorry me posting my fat cock on the web sends you into a tizzy, but at the least I'm affirming my will to live.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Yeah, I’ve been on a bit of a mushroom kick this week. Video games too and when one thinks of mushrooms and videogames, Nintendo’s golden boy, Mario, should be just around the corner…in his go-kart since it's time for another Mario Kart track. Specifically, Toad’s Factory from Mario Kart Wii. Yep, Toad had a factory. One with conveyor belts, gears, industrial presses,  platforms held by shipping cranes, crates, grates, sirens, bulldozers, mudpits and one heck of big band backing track scoring the three lap mad dash. Such an awesome concept and execution for a track It’s a darn shame it hasn’t come back since its original debut but hey, there are still seven more slots available in the Booster Course Pack. Who knows? Maybe this #wonderful OSHA nightmare will come around again. I’ll certainly be happy even if the people working under Toad’s capitalistic machinations probably won’t be.

#wonderful #toads factory #mario kart #tracks #mario kart wii #factory #racing games #conveyer belts #gears #big band jazz #concept #execution #mario kart 8 deluxe #booster course pass #osha #capitalism #mushrooms #video games

[americanphysco]

I love that one blog that's dedicated to bracket polls pitting different organizations within the US government together because the comparisons are always a horrible controversial violent/capitalist component of the government vs something like the FDA or OSHA, which like. I can already hear thousands of tumblr users cheering before I even vote n reveal the absolutely not shocking 100% to 0% ratio.

#levis greatest hits

[log6]

"I see you're all white people who clearly don't read so let me explain." : i love you so much (also tfw is osha and safety a cog of the capitalistic machine 🤔🤔 ?? like 😭 i love u)

omg help right

#thanks

[madamtrashbat]

Hang on I'm still heated about OSHA discourse

Did none of you learn about the Industrial Revolution

Does this site only love Muppet Christmas Carol because Muppets or can I direct you to the BBC/FX Christmas Carol where it shows Scrooge as the capitalist fuck he is whose cost-saving measurements caused people to actually fuckin die

Did NONE OF YOU get taught The Jungle by Upton Sinclair

Come ON y'all

[boernetopjanitorialservices]

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Having tidy filters will certainly aid your vacuum cleaner run much more efficiently, which indicates much less time invested in your component. Your janitorial solution ought to likewise have the correct equipment to polish tough floor surface areas. An expert janitorial service will focus on cleansing areas where germs prosper, such as toilets. A specialist janitorial solution will certainly utilize high-quality tools, saving you money and time. 

Cleaning up with low-grade equipment can damage furniture and also the atmosphere. A specialist janitorial service understands which items are secure for various surface areas and also products. Additionally, they will utilize the very best cleaning items, ensuring your residential property is as spick-and-span as it can be. An additional essential consider hiring a janitorial solution is its bonding limitations. Bonds protect your consumers versus loss due to theft. Some janitorial solution companies may be required to carry greater bonding limits than others, ensuring the safety of your property. Check out this website to learn more about  janitorial service.

This will certainly maintain you protected if a worker steals from you. In addition to being accountable for keeping the building tidy, you'll also be protected from any type of claims by clients who are miserable with the high quality of your service. Keeping your facility clean as well as disinfected is likewise an essential aspect of marketing your service. When your office or service is pristine, visitors will really feel more comfortable as well as most likely to return. This is especially true if you supply a place of work that's messy.

 In addition to prospective customers, employees and also capitalists will think extra favorably of your business if they see a tidy setting. So, it's no surprise that a janitorial solution is essential to your business. Your janitorial service needs to come outfitted with the correct tools, devices, and cleaning products. They can clean different components of the workplace, making sure the atmosphere remains healthy as well as secure for all staff members. Boerne top janitorial services offer environmentally friendly products. This makes it much more effective to work with a janitorial service. They can customize a cleaning strategy to your company's certain demands and give you with an eco-friendly service. 

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[badlysummedupmoviestournament]

Round 2!

If you recognize the movies hiding behind the decoy titles, please do not give identifying details about them in the notes.

Movie n°1: Secret melody

A child (ok, probably more a teen) working hard to maintain the family business afloat in an unprecedented economic crisis finds themself stalked by a questionable journalist who thinks they're the accomplice of a group of thugs. As they run to a family member for help, they find said family member bound and gagged, and are soon attacked by a guy with an axe. Most of the movie is actually flashbacks from the point of views of everyone involved, all tied together by a detective/fed/PI (not clear) investigating the case, then an uneasy alliance from a few of them to arrest the real criminal once they discover who it is.

Movie n°2: Currently doing that

An old capitalist built a zoo with rampant OSHA violations and SO MUCH corner-cutting. He decides to show off his cool thing he built to a group of specialized experts and some kids. A corporate rival bribes a staff member to defect to steal their top-tier zoo technology. The animals end up escaping and eating people because the one guy was just so bad at sneaking away properly.

#tournament poll