#coming from good/helpful intent

[slippery-minghus]

getting really tired of my new coworker's attitude. starting tomorrow, i'm taking a policy that if she wants me to teach her how to do something, she's gonna have to ask. no more politely checking if she knows how to do a task. no more watching as she does an uncommon thing. if she's gonna give me snark every time our communication styles mismatch, then i'm just going to remove one of the sources of that friction.

#we really. are not a good fit #we miss each other farrrr more often than we match #and as much as i don't want to say i'm blameless and perfect at social things and a victim that things just ~happen to~ #i feel like i'm coming to our interactions with a lot more grace and patience #i realize i could take a step back and trust her to do the job #and i'm going to #but i really want to train her well since it seems she'll be sticking around. i want her to be confident in the job and know what she's doin #though i'll admit it has been hard to see her as competent and treat her as such. she had made bad impression after bad impression #and i probably could afford being more hands off at this point #and because i'm annoyed and a little hurt i'm going to just back off entirely #which maybe is kinda a dick move #but if my training strategy has been so annoying to her then she'll probably appreciate me backing off. #even if my intnetions are from negative emotions vs my admittedly redundant reminders #coming from good/helpful intent #it just annoys me because i try to grant her good faith when i misunderstand her or she jumps the gun or something #while i feel like she isn't doing the same when i do it #and then when i explain a thing in a way that doesn't make sense to her she gets passive aggresive about it. in front of patients #tes i could've explained that better and i will try to explain things like that differently in the future #but the running joke you've made about this isn't funny #so. no more training unless explicitly asked for. and frankly #if i can. no more reacting to her passive aggression #that one will be harder but i think i can do it #i hate this so much #i'm at work to get paid not fucking struggle through Draling With Idiots 101 #*Dealing #and if she's gonna proudly proclaim how much she just doesn't care? fine. just fine. neither will i #personal #okay can these feelings calm down now i need to sleep

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i have never felt this uniquely insane about a character <3 i cant get a read on him

#what is his DEAL #im usually really good at pegging a character's intentions / general vibe #BUT IM GETTING SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS THAT I JUST DONT KNOW #his off the charts rizz is fucking up my geiger counter #is he evil? is he a victim? a pawn/minion? does he have good intentions? neutral ones? bad ones? #I CANT TELL #welcome home #wally darling #i mean im team 'wally is a victim just trying to help / protect his friends (maybe the 'viewer')' #and home is maybe the main villian but also not bc the villain is the abstract force of cosmic horror manifesting as the chasm under home #and it has simply infected home or possessed it #and welcome home's whole deal is cosmic horror from a puppet's perspective #and they all need to stick together like glue to get through the Ordeals and Situations #and wally's just trying to keep his friends safe and the neighborhood together and fix home #BUT if it turns out wally is straight up evil then. yknow. i support his wrongs <3 #he could do literally anything and id be twirling my hair cheering and clapping #i love his big hair and gay little outfit #ever since i watched night minds video he hasnt left my brain. i think he's eating it #like i want him dead. i want him to be happy. i want to beat his little body against a wall until his stuffing comes out. i want to hug him #he is everything to me. he activates my maiming instincts but also my cherish instincts #i want him to get all the hugs from his friends #god i cant wait for this whole enchilada to kick off its gonna be a DOOZY #i trust clown's brilliant mind no matter which way they take this #absolutely fascinating stuff. i already know im in this for the long haul

[leavemeal0newithmym0ss]

“You little nark! get out of my head!” implying V didn’t want Uzi in her mind and wasn’t willingly knocked out for the whole process. 

UZI 👏  WAS 👏  WORRIED 👏 THAT 👏  WHATEVER 👏  WAS 👏  INFECTING 👏  N 👏  WAS 👏   ALSO 👏  INFECTING 👏  V 👏  AND 👏  SHE 👏  KNOWS 👏  DAMN 👏  WELL 👏  THAT 👏  V 👏  WOULD 👏  MUCH 👏  RATHER 👏  OVERHEAT 👏  THAN 👏  ADMIT 👏  IT 👏  AND 👏  ASK 👏  FOR 👏  HELP❗❗❗

So naturally she knocked V offline. The question is how.....Probably N? Probably N.

#today on another episode of 'Uzi is a good person who cares for those around her' #Uzi knowing damn well V would not hesitate to attack her if she deemed her a threat: #'but what if she needs help??? What if there really is some sort of virus that is hurting her???' #murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation v #on another note having your memories being at the mercy of someone you dont really like much especially when you didnt agree is definitely #upsetting i get where V is coming from lol #Uzi had good intentions to be sure #but still #probably shouldnt have messed with someones mind without their consent

[silverwhittlingknife]

Dick + not getting phone calls

1. Bruce makes Jason Robin (Batman 416)

Dick: "It was quite a kick for me to learn about the new Robin in the newspapers."

2. Jason dies (New Titans 55)

Dick: "Bruce never called to tell me what happened to Jason. He didn’t know I was half-way across the universe, but he didn’t even leave a message on my machine. If Danny hadn’t found out... Blast him. Why didn’t he call me?"

3. Bruce picks Jean-Paul Valley as the next Batman (Robin 13)

Dick: "You left Tim alone with a lunatic. The kid could have been killed." Bruce: "There wasn't time." Dick: "No time to pick up a phone? No time to call me? ... I thought there was one guy who'd have faith in me. But when it comes down to the test, you picked someone else to succeed you."

4. Alfred quits after Bruce's back gets broken in Knightfall (Nightwing: Alfred's Return)

Dick: "Bruce didn't send me. I came because I'd like to know why the guy who's been like a father to me suddenly upped and split without a word! Because my best friend has been gone for months - the Bahamas, Antarctica, England - and I didn't even get a call! Not even a postcard!"

5. Donna's son dies (Teen Titans Vol. 2 12)

Wally: "Man, Dick, I'm sorry! I thought for sure she would have called you!" Dick: "Robbie was her world. Why didn't she call? I could have helped. I would have... I'd do anything for her..."

6. Wally's wife miscarries and...it's complicated, but for the purposes of this list you just need to know that he didn't tell Dick or ask him for help (Flash 210)

Dick: "What I said earlier, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. You're my best friend. You have been since we were kids. And after everything you went through, I just wish I was the one you came to for help - instead of Hal."

#dick ''JUST CALL ME AND ASK FOR HELP DAMN IT'' grayson #also dick: *does not pick up his phone when roy keeps calling after donna dies* #*tries to hide and then straight-up run away from tim in the aftermath of blockbuster* #dick grayson #anyway the wally plotline is something else flash comics are bonkers you guys #at wally's 1st wedding his wife gets kidnapped & everyone forgets she exists #later they remember and have an impromptu second wedding! #another time he got replaced by a different Flash from another dimension #and that Flash pretended to be him for a while and was in the Titans and it unnerved Dick who wasn't sure if Wally set it up on purpose #you might be thinking ''come on Dick - Wally would never do that''- but wellllll /probably/ he wouldn't but it's hard to say #after Linda miscarries Wally gets the Specter to mindwipe his secret ID from everybody #but then uh oh Wally forgot too! - but then he remembers! - so he tells Linda so she'll remember! #so she's understandably kinda freaked-out that he messed with her mind albeit w good intentions and she needs some space #and then Wally goes and reminds Clark who he is and then reminds Dick who he is #anyway i feel like Dick's frustration with him here is very legit and so is Linda's though in Wally's defense #he was extremely upset by the Zoom-attack-induced miscarriage #and going to the Specter for help is not *quite* as dumb as it sounds because the Specter used to be the hero Hal Jordan #and Hal Jordan was buddies with Barry Allen the previous Flash #anyway later on there's time chaos and the miscarried twins get born after all!! #so it all works out in the end #anyway my conclusion is that if you had the misfortune to become a speedster you just gotta get used to zany adventures #hoc scripsi

[aho-dapa]

This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

#anyway #just having thoughts #anti sjm #like I'm also pro Tamlin? and that doesn't help #i had to stop making intensive tamlin posts because my mental health honestly couldn't handle the constant discourse #which is sad when people genuinely come with the intent to discuss but since its all horrible in general I end up not having a lot of #emotional space to have a good conversation most of the time sighhhh #i also just end up blocking people in general when my timeline messes up my interests but #i have yet to block main ship tags because I still want to interact with my side of fandom on it but I'm sooooooo close to blocking #main tags because some people are vile on here #don't even get me started on gwyn because people end up saying shit they shouldn't be just because of shipping #and I don't have any personal feelings about gwyn but the way people say she's not important as a character gives me the ick tbh #like I get it from a sjm is a terrible writer standpoint #but gwyn did have narrative importance in acosf despite however I feel about how it coulf have been better written #and also as a character that is very explicitly a SA survivor some people here need to THINK about how they talk about her

[trans-mephisto]

Blue Exorcist fan theories are always like "THEORY: Mephisto is secretly evil because he's OLD AND UGLY and SMILES A LOT" and everyone cheers

#im just poking fun mind you #i always roll my eyes at the evil mephisto theories regardless #from a storytelling standpoint itd be such a boring and expected plot twist to make the mysterious guy the REAL BADDIE ALL ALONG #hence why im more on board with him genuinely having good intentions at his core #also reminder that it coming from a selfish reason really doesnt take away from the fact hes doing stuff to help anyways #meffy rambles #aoex #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #mephisto pheles

[wizardnuke]

apropos of absolutely nothing. i am not a witchy person i am never really going to be. but. but. if crystals are "magic" or give "good vibes" or whatever it's because they're Of The Earth. you know what's better than getting some cheap quartz at a boho store. finding a really fucking cool rock. or a stick. i think if physical items have the sort of power people believe they do then it would come from literally anything that nature makes and you have to love that thing at least a little bit. anyway don't steal from parks and don't put rocks up your vagina.

#i wholeheartedly believe that carrying around a piece of bark you found on the side of the road is a thousand times more likely to #manifest good things for you than the $8 shiny perfect rock that was imported from a child slave labor mine #was talking about this with my pagan/witchy bf like. finding and loving and working with a cool stick is probably going to give better #results than Buying Rocks. anyway my no-fun psych perspective on it is that a lot of practices involving this focus heavily on staying #present and in tune with nature/your surroundings. and that's really good for you no matter what you believe in #and it is going to make you happy and it is going to help you in every aspect of your life. do things with intention #thank a bug. put ur hands in the dirt. u are part of a very big n very unknown world n i do believe there's more to it than whats visible #i find it very hard to believe that certain items do certain things but yall do you. i see where you're coming from and im kissing u

[monards]

i know hoyo is setting up rhine to have good intent and whatever in her trying to 'save' khaneri'ah or whatever; but i REALLY hope they stay with the cruel persona thats been built up for her. because it would be so wonderful to see a character who had good intent in the beginning just get absolutely corrupted; with the inability to ever go back to that prior state purely because of what had happened. also because there is NO way in her turning back after all that shit

#sorry. i dont think theres any good and plausible explanation for rhine to still be a kind or gentle person in general #she can (and SHOULD) have her moments. but it'd make so much more sense (and be much more impactful) for her to be inherently cruel #because look at all the stuff thats happened #i love the indomitable human spirit trope. dont get me wrong. #but rhine has that in the way she WONT stop her research till shes either dead or murdered. she is not gonna be gentle kind and optimistic #she watched all her kids (that she was SHOWN to care for) get very brutally murdered. #had to then go and kill her next creations that she didn't consider perfect (which most certainly fucks a women up. no matter what you say) #made the 'perfect creation' and the way she treated him was obviously a HUGE contrast to how she was before (being gentle and nuturing) #and left him (albeit with what we can guess was good intent) with NO goodbye just #a recommendation letter. a text. and his final mission #she could have good intent #and still care for others #dont get me wrong!!!!!!! #but shes. human??? #humans can be (as much as i hate to say it) a tad selfish when it comes to survival #and being antagonized demonized AND shunned by teyvat and even her own people. having to survive multiple gods wrath #isn't. gonna be good for the human psych #and it isn't gonna be something fixable #look at how furina progressively faltered over a hundered years WHILE being adored #she already started waning in her ethics and morals (as someone immortalized as a human WOULD) #with exposing lyney and all of that when it was VERY clearly the morally wrong thing to do (which her as a human would know) #and being relatively pessimistic and clearly spiralling #(no hate. i love furina with all my heart.) #if thats how FURINA started going #imagine rhine who has nobody (save maybe alice. but i doubt she'd be constant given her spontaneous nature and refusal to sit still) #shit man. even I'D go crazy and be horrible. #its okay and natural to be bitter #and its not as if anybody was there to help #hexenzirkel has a ton of women who survived their own nations falling yes #but not ONE of them (from what we know) has had circumstances any where near rhine's

[randomnameless]

@zeroabyss replied to your post “@zeroabyss replied to your post “You're not wrong...”:

I definitely say a father telling him he has to do it all on his own and that he can’t even rely on his friends or even their fellow nations, definitely pushed Lyon to take the path that he did. No one can handle something on their own, and so Lyon was tempted to use the one power their texts said had the power to avert disaster.

​You can see how this issue was more than likely a flaw when Lyon talks about him to the twins. About how his father took on the burdens all on his throne and barely, if ever rested. The man shouldered everything that it likely played into his worsening health and death, and his final words being to tell Lyon he can’t rely on help from others concerning a natural disaster and that the other countries would leave any Grado refugees to die at the border to protect themselves

Vigarde pushing all of the country's hopes and aspirations on his unprepared son was his mistake, sure, but...

Between Vigarde telling him to deal with Grado's fate alone because relying on Renais is impossible, and Vigarde/Father Mc Gregor/The World telling him not to free Satan to use his powers because Satan nearly destroyed the continent centuries ago, if Lyon had to pick one command to disobey, I suppose he could have picked the "I'm still going to ask for Renais' help" instead of "I'm going to use Fomortiis' powers".

Vigarde might have steered him in the wrong direction - Lyon already playing with Fomortiis' powers (to save a child! and then to predict tempests and save more lives!) was his own thing.

It's SS in a nutshell, good intentions alone cannot justify the worst means used to satisfy/reach them.

Lyon lamented and complained about his perceived weakness, feeling he would never compare to the twins nor would be the kind of ruler Grado will need to save itself... so he doomed Magvel, wanting to be the strong and kind person he wished to be.

I think this is the flashback where it's more or less spelled out :

Lyon: “Mm… My research isn’t complete yet, but there’s no mistaking the power the Sacred Stones contain. And the Stone of Grado seems especially responsive to my dark magic. I suppose it’s because it contains both sacred and demonic properties. Regardless, if I can just press my studies a little harder… Well, I think I might be able to use it to heal my father’s illness. If that works, there’s no telling how many other people I can help as well.” Eirika: “Do you think this is wise? The power contained within the stones is beyond our understanding… My father tells me that the stones possess a power not to be trifled with.” Lyon: “Uh-huh… Father MacGregor is also against it. That’s why they still won’t give me direct access to the Stone of Grado. For the time being, I’ve made do with the radiant energies surrounding it. They’re nothing compared to the raw power of the stone itself, but… If I can show Father MacGregor some real progress, perhaps one day…”

(...)

Lyon: “Thanks, both of you. Hearing those words from you means a lot to me. Actually–and this hasn’t been made public yet–but… I’ve already saved someone using the knowledge I’ve gleaned so far.” Ephraim: “You have?” Lyon: “Uh-huh… A while back, a fire ravaged Serafew, and a little girl got trapped in the flames. Her burns were terrible: not even healing staves were able to cure her injuries. But just a sliver of the stone’s power restored her life and healed her wounds. We saved that girl’s life, Ephraim! Oh, if you could have seen the tears of joy in her mother’s eyes!

Fado, Ismaire and I'm pretty sure Vigarde himself know it's not wise to triffle/use the SS powers... Father MacGregor is also against it, as the resident "holy man" around - and his words are important, since the Church of Magvel was founded after Latona, who fell herself (but managed to fend him off for some reason ???) to Fomortiis' possession! - but Lyon's reply is... Mockery? Or disinterest?

Father Mac Gregor wanted to prevent him from continuing on this path, and forbade him access to the Stone! But Lyon didn't care and still used what was... available, when he also knows the power he is using has demonic properties, and a will of its own!

Lyon's reasoning isn't "Father Mac Gregor is right maybe I should try to consider that I cannot "use" Fomortiis" but something like "maybe he doesn't believe me when I tell him this power can be used for good! I just have to continue working on it!" completely missing the point...

Or is he?

Sure, Lyon saved the Serafew child... but this hadn't made been public as of yet (2 years before the start of the game), like was this not enough to convince Father Mac Gregor that he could use those powers to do right and good things? Or Lyon himself realised he... "saved" someone who was already dead?

This flashback is even more interesting because we have this, the twins' failure :

Ephraim: “Using the Sacred Stones to study magic…” Lyon: “Ephraim, Eirika, what do you two think? Using the divine power of the Sacred Stones in this way… You don’t think it’s a very good idea, do you?” Ephraim: “…It’s just that I know nothing at all of magic. I would that there were some way I could help you, but I simply can’t. But, Lyon, I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked to help others. I know how much you want the power to make others happy. I know these things, and because I know you, I trust your intentions.” Lyon: “Ephraim…” Ephraim: “If you hope to use the power of the Sacred Stone for good, I trust you can. I’m behind you all the way.” Eirika: “I agree with Ephraim entirely. You spend every night in the library, studying cures for your father’s illness. The power of the Sacred Stones is too powerful to be used for personal gain. But you, Lyon… I think you’ll be fine. You’re the kindest person I know.”

It's a double failure on their part, firstly because they give empty reassurances to Lyon claiming to know him, how he wants to use this power because he has the right intentions, or how it's totally not used for his personal gains...

When part of Lyon's desire for power was to help people, sure, but also, to be worth someone in Ephraim and Eirika's eyes!

Secondly...

No, the power of the SS (especially the one housing Fomortiis!) cannot and should not be used, even for "good" or with "good intentions". There are lines that shouldn't be crossed, even if it means not being able to save people/not reach your dreams.

The Epilogue in Eirika's route is very explicit :

Eirika: “That would be nice… But first we must seal this away… This stone banished the Demon King. With such power… Do you suppose we could bring back Father and Lyon… That everyone who died in this dreadful war could be–“ Ephraim: “Eirika.” Eirika: “I know, I know. Such things would be– I cannot wish for such things. No matter how it hurts, or rather because it hurts, we must learn to accept sorrow. We must take it into our hearts and tame our grief…” Ephraim: “Eirika… Tell me, Sister… If Lyon were here with us, what do you think he would want?” Eirika: “What he would want?” Ephraim: “Yes. You see, I think I know. It was the reason for his studies. It’s why he wanted to know about the Sacred Stones–or rather the Fire Emblem. Let’s take Lyon’s dreams and fulfill them in his stead. We can do that, can’t we? Without relying on any mystic power?” Eirika: “You’re right, Brother, we can. Let us fulfill his dreams. As Lyon wanted, as we all want… So we may live in peace and joy.”

Sure this epilogue sort of sucks because Eirika has to be explained things by Eph out of anyone (when we know how he takes the news in his route!), but the point still stands, tempted with the power to achieve the impossible... the heroes refuse and accept to move forward and fulfill their dreams (make the impossible possible?) without relying on mystic powers, especially if it comes from Fomortiis himself!

#zeroabyss #magvel stuff #fe8 #replies #lyon stuff #vigarde was an ass and yet he still wanted peace #FE8's dark magic comes from fomortiis #Knoll in his support argues that dark magic shouln't be seen as inherently evil #and yet dark magic users in this verse can summon monsters and zombies #“'i'll use my zombies for good” sure jan #I guess unlike the other games in the series where power isn't inherently evil it's what you do with it that's evil or not #Dark Magic being so tied to Fomortiis and giving to its users a bootleg copy of his abilities is telling enough #that even if a dark magic user has the best intentions he will fall due to the nature and source of that magic #maybe if users only limit themselves on using Flux they can be spared? idk #FE8 is the methods >intentions game #I like the Knoll Natasha support it highlights the differences between the two #they're similar in their wishes to help randoms and Grado #but when knoll says he wants to help by knowing and researching #Natasha wants to risk her life to save people #and knoll follows her but doesn't want anyone to die

[seagull-scribbles]

I’m touched starved and dysphoric and making it your problem 💕

#sth #bunnie rabbot #antoine d’coolette #Archie sonic #buntoine #buntwan #I urhhh #I’ve been on the fence from posting this #like it’s innocent and that was my intention but I just have this horrible feeling some tumblrina is going to come attack me #and I am too old and too tired for the drama #but I have it on good authority if anyone has a problem that is on them #I like to think Antoine is strong and can carry Bunnie but obviously 3 fully robotised limbs…are very heavy #but Bunnie can’t feel with them so she doesn’t like wrapping them around him which you might have noticed on my other art #it’s always the other was around #so the wall is kind of for support #and the one leg is also there to help balance that weight out so antoines back doesn’t give out in his 30’s #but also I have talked before about my big headcanon they originally first started binding over body dysphoria so #this is also doubled up and a positive self love thing and all that #my relationship with my own body is so weird but one day I’ll be happy x #also i mentioned ages ago that i think bunnie paints antoines toe nails but this has been my forst opportunity to show that so here #i always think shed choose pink cause thats what shed use on herself but i thought blue would be nice in since that goes with his uniform

[shikishake]

today on gundam: witch of mercury, Prospera continues being worst mom and also worst person alive. more news at 11.

#gundam the witch from mercury #mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #ep19 #spoilers #prospera mercury #i don't actually have any more comments i just think prospera should maybe stop #just like in general #shaddiq at least has the excuse that he's trying to help #he sucks at it but at least it's coming from even the smallest of good intentions

[snow-and-saltea]

yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"

#yuu rambles #it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it #concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable #framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does #doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me #but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen #he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke #its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr #normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways #then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone #who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media. #paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol” #those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are #a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride #and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies #it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt #block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily #recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his #video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal #i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first #but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric #i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao #they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on #detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2 #im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary #made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror #and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good! #again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far #i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue... #theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

#who is talking about this!!!! let me know #idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which #i was anticipating #and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before #but liiiiiike. #i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them #it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there #just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse #like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no #anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite #and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up #people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out #and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point #or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible #but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding #at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends #which i am so grateful for obviously #i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol #AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad #just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t #i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it #i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this #which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao #probably for the best #ugh whatever #again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know #meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone #AAAAAAAA i just want to scream #text

[like-sands-of-time]

I wonder what ani and padmé would have been like as parents to Luke and Leia, and later grandparents to Ben. Like I don't have any great developed thoughts on that whole au concept I just do love the thought. Ben has so much impressive family, and a lot of uncles and aunts to look up to. If a lot of things had gone a lot differently, idk how, and padmé and ani got to grow older and stronger together, if Ben were to have his grandfather not only as a legend but as a person to hold him and tell him stories, I wonder what that would have been like.

#what if ben wants really badly to be a knight like his uncle is when hes young bc girls are gross or whatever and hes shy and awkward #so hes pretty sure hes never gonna be with anyone anyway #and then when hes almost 30 he meets rey and he has his oh moment #padmé was quite a bit older than anakin so it looks like ben will be more like his grandmother than he realized #rey actually is a nobody from nowhere bc duh #but despite her lack of etiquette training or politicking she fits in with princess leia like SO well and the fam loves her #especially when they start noticing the changes in ben... cripplingly shy and quiet ben is trying to woo rey and failing adorably #or so it seems. mostly because he doesnt come out and speak his intentions.. sure that a girl like her wouldnt actually want him #never mind that theyre dyads and they share a mind connection. he somehow finds a way to misinterpret her emotional responses #mostly because he has no measure for these things in his own life #but also.. neither does rey. and a lot of new stuff is happening in her life including suddenly having the force and a forcebond #with a prince of the galaxy of all people !! shes got some major imposter syndrome going on #oh maybe its also implied that she will be bens queen because of the forcebond from the time they find out so its SORT OF an arranged #marriage?? and she obviously senses his anxiety and trepidation and he clearly is willing to go through with it.. even trying to court her #but she thinks its better if they dont try bc the force may be saying they have to be together but she believes in making her own choices #and she actually thinks bens a nice guy and a good friend to have. but obviously she says this to him trying to make things better #tells him they should just be friends. she likes him and his family and is so grateful they accepted her but they should get to choose #so ben takes this with grace (lol) and he does agree to be her friend because its better than nothing right and everything about her is just #so captivating to him that he cant help but friendzone himself. but on the way to strengthening their bond and training together they grow #closer and the tension between them coils tightly. so rey TOLD ben they should have a choice and she doesn't want to go back on that #theyre still arranged to be married or perhaps they already are married but living separately. but still she doesnt want to make him think #shes fickle or ruin their friendship because she cant control herself. shes clearly confusing her feelings for his too (shes not) #and ben is majorly confused when he realizes that the affection he feels is returned at long last he doesnt know if he should confront her #or if he should be subtle about it. courting didnt seem to work last time but things are different now. he brings her gifts theres nothing #wrong with that. so he's picked up on gift giving but more personalized? and hes taking her on trips bc she wants to see different worlds #he already reads books about topics that interest her but now he gifts them to her or talks about those topics #and shes so determined to keep it to herself he realizes that he kisses her!! he feels so confident and assured in that moment. he knowswhat #he feels and he knows what she feels. theres no need to hold back any longer. he doesn't want to. ben takes her hand and goes before his #grandparents to ask for their blessing for marriage. everyone is pleased to finally be able to speak freely of them. ben and rey and both #overjoyed. theirs is the biggest most extravagant wedding in the galaxy. moreso than han and leias. everything is perfect

[crossbackpoke-check]

a doc of omega yamo being a nuisance, you say?

well…

#the doc sure does exist 🤷 #me waiting to post this until i had compiled all the tags into the doc so it wasn’t just the empty doc i started with good intentions #that just said ‘yowling’ #and then me not even doing that 😭 what’s in the doc right now? absolutely unhinged shit from ANOTHER yamo post. why #liv in the replies #anon i love you so much. this is the correct method to get me to do things (be interested) (bully me a little) (i have to write FOR someone) #maybe if i actually write something for omega yamo being a nuisance i will post snippets #and not have to create elaborate rules about posting them. also i keep telling myself it helps to be like. home & functioning to write #& maybe if i chilled the fuck out a little bit i would have the time to do fun things i like but i feel like i have been saying #‘ok once i get through this [semester/summer/working/class/season]’ for like. three years now but also i don’t feel like i have stopped ever #in my life so that may also be part of the issue. anyway! in the mindset now that i have to make time for things that bring me joy/creative #because otherwise there will never be time #but also telling myself that like. i work seven days a week 8.5-9 hours a day plus commute/classwork so it’s ok to only be able to come home #& do Adult Tasks & write my coursework requirements & ALSO i’m doing my fucking applications which i really really need to do & should take #priority & i am going to need to work very hard to do because. i don’t want to do them :) #so!!!! this is your daily tag dump on a post which it is not relevant to (on brand for me) #but also the point was to say thank you i love you please have 0 expectations because i don’t want to disappoint you #but i love your encouragement and am not taking it to be any pressure!! i just have to preface bc i am like this

[normal-newt]

Think that I don’t mind using term “health trolling” to describe when people are “just concerned”. Problem is, abled + thin people not always seem to understand? If they only get those comments occasionally, they sometimes assume that we also only get those comments occasionally. And assume that we are reacting to same situation as them.

Think maybe “harassment” is clearer term. Maybe has better chance of convincing people those sorts of comments are more targeted + more constant if you don’t look like what people think is healthy. Know many people won’t care, but might help some people think of it differently?

Idk, just tired of being told health based harassment is for my “own good”. Feels exactly same as being told to “take a compliment”. Want people understanding that is everywhere. That even in places that ban other harassment, even in places where feels safe to be queer and have diversity policies ect. often health based comments written off as someone “meaning well”.

Isn’t just once off thing for me. Is something have to prepare for every time I interact with strangers (and many people I know). Will go to dentist and get “advice” on curing permanent, not tooth related disability with running or journaling. Will get complete strangers say something cured their sister’s arthritis (which I don’t have) or say vaccines that stop me getting pneumonia again actually caused disability (which is genetic).

Anyway maybe don’t harass people? Promise people don’t get sick/ disabled on purpose. Have heard of every single suggestion from last 15 people who showed up. Promise we have all heard of smoothies by now and your self-help club is probably same as last one we were told about. And maybe if people say something feels bad, listen?

#yes have already tried exercising #if anyone responds to post about literal harassment by saying people had 'good intentions' will scream #many harassers don't have bad intentions #many harassments come from people who are 100% sure they must share super special knowledge with me #but good intentions worthless if used to make bad action #ableism #fatphobia #harassment #sick of being accosted by 'self help guru'