#damn this DID make me feel better

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem! #its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome' #instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems! #anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now! #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

[petite-phthora]

This yours?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 12]

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Part 1

Ao3

---

Somewhere else, in a seemingly abandoned building on the outskirts of the city, a figure shrouded in darkness and wearing a dark cloak plots.

In front of them is a whiteboard. It’s covered in pictures, sticky notes, and illegible texts. Some of the notes thrown about that are legible are ‘fight…’, ‘draw blood.’, and ‘DEATH!!!’.

There’s a crude stick figure drawn in the corner of the board, it’s impaled. Other small doodles can also be found all around the board.

Most of the information and pictures are connected by red strings, like you see in movies.

In the middle is a picture of 2 people sitting on a motorcycle, the arms of the person sitting in the back are around the waist of the person sitting in the front. The picture has some arrows pointing towards it and the people in the picture are very obviously circled.

Though the face of the person driving the motorcycle is obscured by their helmet, the other person seems to be heavily blushing and grinning broadly.

“Yes… yes! That’s it! I know what to do…” They seem to be speaking to themselves.

Quickly, the person scribbles down a barely legible ‘sacrifice!!‘.

They start cackling.

“Mwuahaha!”

It’s an evil laugh they’ve been working on for quite a while now, and they’re pretty proud of it.

However, the effect is slightly ruined when a fly enters their mouth, cutting off their cackling with choking as they gasp for air, grasping at their throat.

A few good thumps against their chest, with some coughing out their lungs, helps them dislodge the fly from their throat and they spit it out on the ground. They take a few deep breaths before straightening up again.

“Curse you” the person exclaims, angrily waving their fist at the fly as it flies away.

---

Bruce’s face gives off nothing as he stares at the streets down below. He’s dressed as Batman, crouched at the edge of a building with Damian by his side as Robin. Spoiler, Black Bat, Nightwing, and Red Robin are further back on the rooftop.

They watch in silence as another group of the Joker’s goons passes by. They’ve been all over the city, wandering around, not doing anything obviously illegal.

They don’t stay in one place and they don’t seem to have much of a purpose. No attacks… No stealing… No smuggling or transport of goods… No, instead they’re inspecting every single inch of the city.

They don’t seem to have any weapons on them. All they’re carrying on them are some flashlights. While most don’t give anything away with their body language or expressions, some seem to give off a bit of anxious energy.

Spoiler claimed she even saw some of them climb down into the sewers earlier and then climbing out again sometime later somewhere else, but this time ‘dejected and stinky’.

One thing seems clear to the Bats.

They’re searching for something… or someone.

“This basically confirms that not even the Joker’s henchmen know where he is. He’s missing.”

“I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing”

“Good… thing?”

“It’s… something. That’s for sure.”

“We don’t know if he’s really missing. For all we know it could be a trap. What if the Joker is hiding, pretending to be missing to have us bring our guard down? Besides, how could he be missing? He’s the Joker. No one’s just gonna kidnap him”

“For all we know he could be lying dead in a ditch somewhere”

“I highly doubt that”

“Everyone, focus” Bruce speaks up, having them draw their attention to him.

“It’s unclear whether the Joker is simply hiding away or missing. Instead of focusing on the why, we need to focus on the where. Missing or not, we need to find him and get him back to Arkham. Oracle, have you managed to find out anything from the footage yet?”

“Nope, still nothing. All the files from the moment he enters Crime Alley are wiped and any attempt at recovering them only brings back corrupted files.”

 “We need Red Hood. Where is he?” Bruce asks.

“He still has his phone on silent and he has removed the trackers and cams. We haven’t placed any new ones on him yet”

“Let’s visit him on his turf then. And keep an eye out for anything suspicious in the meantime. Oracle, try recovering the missing files. If that doesn’t work, go back to the breakout footage. Perhaps he left some kind of clues about his plans or whereabouts behind there.” Bruce states.

“Roger that.”

---

Red Hood has his arms by his sides as he gazes down upon the street below from the rooftop of a random apartment building in Crime Alley.

He’s lucky to have avoided the Bats so far. But he doubts his luck will last for long.

Red Hood stiffens as he suddenly feels something clamp down on his arm. As a reflex, his other hand has already drawn his gun.

He slowly raises the arm he felt something clamp down on and looks at it, only to make eye contact with a girl with black hair and blue eyes who has sunk her teeth into his arm and is now hanging off of it.

The teeth are sharp, as the girl seems to have some small fangs. They’ve gone through his jacket and sunken into his skin.

It doesn’t really hurt all that badly though, probably hasn’t even drawn much blood, and that’s one of the only reasons Jason hasn’t flung the kid off of him yet. Another reason is the fact that it’s a kid.

They both stare at each other for several seconds.

As Jason takes her appearance in, he notices that she seems rather familiar. In fact, she looks like a more feminine version of Danny, or if Danny had a twin.

The person hanging off of his arm looks younger than Danny though, probably a teenager around 13 or 14, if he had to make a guess.

Slowly, he puts his gun away and takes out his phone with his other hand, watching the random girl’s eyes follow his movements. He raises it level with her face and snaps a picture, quickly sending it to Danny and ignoring the girl’s curious gaze while she’s still hanging onto his arm by her fucking teeth.

---

Meanwhile, Danny checks his phone to see Red Hood sent him a message. He opens it and is greeted by a picture of Ellie in human form biting down on Red Hood’s arm with the caption ‘this yours???’

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea   @uraniumwizard    @why-must-i-be-like-this   @griffinthing

#dp x dc #dp x dc fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #dead on main ship #Im wondering how easy/hard it is to guess who the person is #and also yes its supposed to have stereotypically comedic 'evil'/'villain' vibes #the person did that on purpose because they are dramatic and have style #also i aged ellie down a little from how old she *should* be cause i felt like it fit better #If you need a reason maybe she like ages a little bit slower due to being a clone or something idk #oh and i have a question for you all #should i make a masterpost?? #i have like the very first chapter pinned but i feel like a masterpost might be better #especially cause like i already have 12 chapters and the story is only getting longer #damn this story has gone further than expected from a oneshot lol #it all started with me just tinking it'd be funny if like #a character was basically in shock but was still like nah I cant just kiss someone without consent lol #also I said id post like 5-6 chapters and this is still only like 6k :( i really need to write more ;-; #and also if y'all haven't noticed already #all I know of dc is through fanfics and fandom posts #though I really want to start reading the comics #i just haven't really had the time nor do I really know what's good and where to start #so like if anyone has any recommendations for dc/batfam comics they are more than welcome!! ^-^

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month? #can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me? #and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends. #and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once. #and that's not me. that's not who I want to be. #i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

[scopophobia-polaris]

Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark

#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just..... #have it #like all of it #and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh #how do i put this #how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing #or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc #i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT #But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the #what was jt #idk man they just keep taking away her agency #man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE? #idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad #and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her #becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship #but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more #instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say #when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice #how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like #mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because #did #did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck #sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man

[diorsbrando]

i like ‘em a little insane, covered in blood and severely mentally unstable <3

#ʬʬ.sosa speaks.com #!tw blood #!tw gore & violence #the grimm variations #the way i watched this on netflix but IMMEDIATELY ran to a streaming site to rewatch…. #just to take screenshots……im so insane #when i tell you #for 10 minutes i could NOTTTTTT get past the scene in the first 4 photos #i was feeling so so so so crazy and extremely feral it was hard to contain myself #bc i wasn’t expecting it at all #i have so many things to say about this episode 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #aside from this man it was actually really good the plot twist was plot twisting !! #the cinematography the music the animation the voice acting ALL A1 & TOP TIER #they did not have to make him look this DAMN GOOD??? he’s so deranged you guys i wouldn’t wanna be alone with this man 😭 #but at the same time………………..👀👀 #idk i want him to choke me while he deep in it and say compliment my every body part #not just in a romantic way but in a ‘i want to eat you and satiate my ever growing desire for human flesh and authenticity’ kind of way too #the fact that in the eng dub he’s voiced by ray chase makes it NO BETTER! his voice was so sexy here

[jacksoldsideblog]

truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it

#like damn weve all been 14 yrs old and making health decisions that are actively damning your future health in very concerning ways #but also like #these blogs exist because of each other and if i could nuke every single one i could because that might help even one of these kids #to recover #jesus #makes me feel old #like. ive been there lol. youre depressed and 12 and self harm seems right and also cool #but thats insidious as hell snd listening to that is whats going to make you depressed for half a decade #i think the hardest part of growing up is seeing kids make the same or similar mistakes you did and knowing if you say anything they will #almost certainly double down and dig themselves deeper #but you feel its a crime not to say anything and also remember lack of pushback being part of the problem #but its just. you cant fix anyone #i wasnt anorexic ftr but its Very Relatable unfortunately #anyway whether i like it or not i have a lot of teenagers following me i think #all of you. be nice to yourselves #actively pursue making your life better #not in a momentary happiness sort of way but in a taking the work to get over your mental illness and grow and become a more confident and #secure person kind of way #it sounds impossible and it feels like hell but literally the biggest part is just really trying to do it and letting go of the comfort of #the pains you know vs the unknown pains of change #i should stop soapboxing because this is getting silly long lol

[reel-fear]

Hey if anyone wants to check out Moving Pictures Redrawn [a fan-made remake of the first chapter of BATIM that Mike n Meatly may have ordered to be taken down? It's unsure at the moment] Guess who downloaded a copy before they did that~

#batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #honestly if they did order the take down um lmao tbh #I guess Id do the same it must be embarrassing for a fan to make a better game than you did literally improved your damn #flagship title bc it fucking sucks #but yeah in the name of preserving this piece of art this person mustve spent forever making hmu if u wanna download it <3<3 #its genuinely so cool I hope it turns out someone was posing as the bendy devs bc like this is so awesome #to have it taken down just feels so shitty #idc if its just a better batim if I could fucking sue Meatly n Mike for selling me a piece of shit of a game #thats not fun to play buggy as hell and has some of the worst storytelling ive ever seen #then took this down bc actually we cant let ppl play chapter 1 for free anymore ugh its just salt in the wound of how shitty they r #this remake is so cool I cant believe I got it to run on my computer #the way they redesigned the general areas is so damn cool too this is genuinely such an improvement and meatly n mike should be fucking #begging on their knees for the fans to forgive them if they did take this down fuck them so so much #mike literally has flaunted his fucking wealth in the past do we really think he needs the extra 20 bucks from some poor soul #buying his elaborate scam of a game that has a broken save system really? Does he need that money? No the fuck he doesnt #ramblez

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[synthshenanigans]

I cant believe fine im fine lost by 1.4% crying

-Please listen to both instrumentals if you can! While there are the popular songs, there's a lotta good ones out there that aren't talked about enough!-

Instrumental Links:

Nerd

The Bidding

[Reblog for more of a sample size of you'd like]

#the randomizer rlly put Jash's most listened to spotify song against the least favorited tmph song damn #also gonna say that y'all better listen & appreciate Nerd cos it deserves more love aight #not saying to vote for it but this song is so damn good & the refs are so fun #for everyone that puts that song low on your tier list. know i am biting your ankles #number 1 Nerd appreciator right here #tho with this. idk what to pick cos like Nerd has so much goin on in it & it makes me so happy to listen to #but like. its The Bidding you know? its so damn good #og is already catchy as hell & i love the way CJ did his cover of it #idk im torn. i like both a lot #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cj tmph #i wish you the best luck Nerd. you deserve much more #also Nerd has the funni skeleton riff guys #feel like that's important knowledge when voting #also tho bidding has the FUNKIEST bass & electric bits that rot my brain #also also has the most passive aggressive xylophone ever #also that marimba part tho????? especially on hearts “piece of shit” line? like hell yea bro fuck it up on that long ass complicated piano

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[paperclipfanatic]

Unconditional

(Rant/Analysis in tags)

#midnight doodle? midnight doodle #i can't sleep but this one's very pretty. wanna share #crazy how fast ran gets attached to sara. looks like a simple crush at first but its clear that his feelings for her aren't purely romantic #he notices how much effort she puts into carrying the group and the toll it takes on her #and for a reason I cant quite decipher he desperately wants to take that weight off her shoulders #saviour complex? maybe a way to make up for his past life. he did say he regrets not making friends and living to the fullest #the guy tries to better himself but fails to go about it the right way (socially awkward tingz i guess lol) #still #sad that sara takes advantage of that in the logic route #go girlboss but damn dont do the boy like that #rip ranmaru you wouldve loved mcr and panic! at the disco #yttd #ranmaru kageyama #sara chidouin #paperclip draws #btw correct me if I got sumn wrong cuz i might jus be spouting bull rn #its like 1 AM so im smooth-brained #cw knife

[mossflower]

loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!! #by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

[hecksupremechips]

The best feeling in the world is when there’s a piece of media you know you love and you’ve hyped it up as your favorite thing for so long but you haven’t revisited it in a while so you start to worry if it’s really as good as you make it out to be and so you go back and revisit it and it’s like. Oh this is even better than I remembered this shit rules

#the klock keeps ticking #i always get this feeling when i play 999 but tonight i got it with the letter #cuz ive uh finally decided to bite the bullet and play the evil meanie route where everyone dies 😟 #a route ive put off for so long cuz its just too damn sad to think about akjdksk god it hurts #and ive played like for the most part every route of this game EXCEPT this one but i know the ending is really dark and i need to see it #plus i will at least get my beloved torture scene in so thats nice #i didnt kill off isabella though its a coma route which i hope still allows me to get the ending i want cuz i mean shell still be out of #commission in the final scene so hopefully it works out #but yeah no i started off tonight on the marianne chapter and while i did skip around through it cuz ive played it many times and i just #wanna get to the important stuff already alskj i also just replayed some of the best parts #aka the shit where lorraine appears and the gay shit alksks and god like hnnnghh not only does this chapter still ruin me emotionally #i also just remembered why i love this character so much and remembered just how good the character writing in this game is #and i also played into the rebecca chapter and didnt skip as much cuz i actually am not as familiar with the coma route #cuz it makes me sad and i never revisited it lol and i havent gotten to The Scene that makes me sob yet #its so coming though dont worry but idk i guess its just been cuz ive been thinking about p3 so much lately #and in particular shinji both the death route and coma route but in particular the coma cuz thats what im writing #and damn lol the letter just writes the grief and nuanced relationships and death stuff so much better lol god #like marianne loses her childhood best friend whom she has a gay ass relationship with to suicide and like its just better #she blames herself and still isnt even kinda okay with it after 13 years #like it just fucking ruined her and the only thing keeping her from losing it is her repression and drinking problem and unattached sex #and then with coma route well fucking first off isabellas friends actually like. visit her frequently damn #and they just all have such unique ways of coping like Zach is being optimistic so no one gets too upset #rebecca is sorta in charge of making sure everything goes smoothly she has to contact the family and make big decisions #and shes also just taking the most stress and shes got so many complicated feelings around isabella going on but she genuinely cannot stand #that isabella is hurt shes fucking destroyed she loves isabella and then ashton AAAAA god yeah i also just remembered that hes SUCH a good #character hes like being a genuine asshole right like Rebecca calls to tell him that isabella is comatose now and he literally doesnt let #her say anything he literally says ‘i dont have time for other things rn’ like the wellness of his friend is just ��other things’ #but you just know thats not it not at all hes burying himself in work to the point of destruction so he can figure out who did this and make #everything okay and he refuses to show even an ounce of vulnerability cuz THE SECOND HE DOES IT ALL COMES OUT AND HE CANT GET OUT OF BED #ANYMORE CUZ HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WHEN THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE IS DYING

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation? #uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄 #unrelated

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 26

"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan

#song of the day #you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll) #they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs #I love them. I adore them #'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable) #'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain #Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain #they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain' #what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy #anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/ #I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times #which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is) #but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful' #and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday' #and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--' #and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning' #and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--' #and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about' #so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both #which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything? #it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/ #(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better #and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it #hmm maybe yeah)