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angellbarnes · 3 years

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Forgotten Love - part six: no longer one of them

chapter summary: the truth will set you free, if it doesn't kill you first. The team interrogates you and your past.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

words: 2.3k

warnings: language, mentions of torture, needles

A/N: sorry it's been a while but finally got around to finishing this chapter. Pls like, comment and reblog as always! :)🤍

series masterlist

You look around the blank, boxy room. Then down at your hands, where your wrists are chained to a table. Then down at your ankles, where they are chained to the chair you’re sitting on. It’s been at least thirty minutes since you were left in here by yourself, struggling in your restraints. Your breathing becomes rugged and you can’t hold down the panic rising within, no matter how hard you try. Even closing your eyes, all you see are them. In a sudden rush of emotion you manage to yank yourself free from each chain and stand, pushing the chair from behind you and sending flying back, hitting the wall and crashing to the floor. You look up to the wall opposite, noticing your disheveled reflection in the mirror, fists balled up tight. A one-way mirror, no doubt.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeat to yourself. Your hands fly to your hair, raking through it and grabbing while your chest heaves and your head spins. Steadying yourself with the table for a moment to calm yourself as best you can. You tread carefully towards the door but stop in your tracks, physically frozen in place as you try and place how many footsteps are heading towards you now.

There are seven of them. Three, you notice, stay at the door whilst the others carry on, presumably to whatever room is behind that mirror.

The door opens.

“What in the-” Fury begins, seeing you standing before him and noticing the mess you’d left. “Let me see your hands.” He brings up a gun that seems to glare straight at you, as if to say there’s no getting out of this. So, you show your hands.

Tony and Nat are behind him and Natasha walks to the chair that is on its side, picks it up and sets it back down at the table, then motions stoically for you to sit back down.

“Take a seat. We’re gonna be here for a while. And before you try anything stupid, don’t.” Fury states. You sit back down and suddenly notice the dryness of your mouth and throat.

The three of them now stand before you, looming over like the shadows of your past.

“There’s a lot to unpack here, so I suggest we start with whatever the hell just happened upstairs.” Tony begins. His face is forbidding, as are the others, and his arms are crossed.

You remain silent.

“This is the part where you start talking.” Your gaze shifts to meet a single, harsh eye. God knows he only needs one to get the job done.

“I-”

“What Barnes said. Was it true? Did you help torture him as the Winter Soldier?” Natasha’s voice is demanding, needing.

“No.” You say, finally mustering up a word. “Well, yes. No and yes.”

“What do you mean no and yes?” Fury leans forward on the table.

“Not exactly.”

“Cut the crap. Did you, at any point, help HYDRA in torturing Bucky?”

Silence. Then,

“Yes.” It came out as a broken whisper.

Behind the glass, Bucky takes in a sharp breath. Deep down he knew it was true, but that didn’t stop him from wanting it not to be.

Someone begins walking towards the door from the opposite room. Steve enters and switches out with Tony. Steve looks more disappointed than anything, which makes your heart ache more.

“Why? Why were you with them?”

“Steve-”

“Just answer the question.” Steve closes his eyes in exasperation, letting his head fall forward. He can barely look at you.

“I was alone, back when I joined.” You begin. “At the time I was sheltering in an abandoned warehouse that was half blown to pieces. They found me. I was vulnerable and they knew it. So they took me in, fed me, gave me a roof over my head, a proper one. I thought they were good people, at first.” You’re looking down at your lap as you speak, not wanting to risk looking anyone in the eye.

“And how do we know this isn’t some bullshit story you’ve made up to get us to sympathise with you?” Nat chimes in, brows knit together by the thread of betrayal.

“For all we know you could still be one of them. Feeding everything back to them since you got here. Is that what you’ve been doing? Gaining our trust in order to have inside information? This whole goddamn time.” Steve is angry. More than you’ve seen him before. But it’s not the kind of anger that him and Tony might share when the other gets on their nerves, no. This anger is the one that comes from deep within you, that only shows when you’ve been stabbed deep enough in the back for it to come seeping out all crimson red.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m done with HYDRA, I promise.”

“Well that promise doesn’t mean much to us.” Fury comments.

“I know. But it’s all I have.”

Fury holds his fingers up to his ear. “Hill, bring it in.” A moment after Fury’s request she is heading round and into the room. She passes him a folded piece of paper.

“This,” he begins to unfold it. “was surprisingly easy to find. Inside a book? Really?” He leans onto the table and slides the paper forwards. You are now face to face with yourself; the file page you'd retrieved from the first mission. You rub your hands together, as if hoping for a genie to appear so you could wish for this to have never happened.

“That’s not me. Well, it is me. But it’s not who I am. The person you’ve come to know since I joined this team is the real me. I’m not that person.” You look back down at the photograph of your deadened self. “Anymore.”

“Care to explain?” Nat asks.

“After a while with HYDRA, I realised that some others from the rooms near me were being taken somewhere else. I didn’t know where, though; they wouldn’t tell us. Eventually I was the only one left, and none of the others had come back yet.” Your throat is dryer than ever. “They took me to a room. A dark one. And they sat me in a chair. Strapped me down. I could hear some screams from neighbouring rooms but they dismissed it, said people were hurt and they were treating them. They were lying, of course, but at the time I was naive enough to believe them. They stuck a needle in my arm and released an acidically blue liquid into my bloodstream. At first it was excruciating. It felt as though someone was searing my veins as it moved from my arm and into my chest, then up my neck and down my torso. Then it was everywhere. My mind was so clouded with pain, until it just… stopped. I felt numb. And after that, HYDRA turned me into their own personal weapon. Because I was their success. I was the one who survived. They had used a different serum on all twelve of us, trying to find one that worked. And it finally did. At first I felt special to have been the one that survived. Proud, even. But soon it turned into something more sinister, and I realised how lucky the others were…”

The silence in the room is deafening. To a point where you have to start shuffling in your seat just to rid it. It’s hard to gage anyone’s emotions at this point. Natasha leaves, silently, without glancing back. Though she doesn’t head towards the others behind the mirror, she walks away in the opposite direction. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest with the thought of having hurt her this much.

“So, you’re telling me, the serum we found on that mission last week hasn’t just been created? They’d already figured it out and used it on you?” Steve’s question is spoken as more of a statement, everyone already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” You whisper.

“And that’s where these powers came from? The serum?”

“Yes.”

“Another supersoldier. ‘Cause we don’t have enough of those.” Fury scoffs. “And why do they always have to come from HYDRA?”

“The serum made you stronger and faster. But it doesn’t explain your extra power. Where did that come from?” Steve interrogates.

“The serum as well.” Your voice is weak and strained by guilt as you speak. “When they were recreating it they also… experimented with it. Once they knew they perfected the original serum they started tampering with additional elements and quantities. It wasn’t until me when one of them worked. The serum they’d created managed to grip on to certain sensory nerves and cells and increased the sensitivity, or… something about exteroreceptors, maybe? I can’t exactly remember the science of it all-”

“So, just like that, we’re supposed to trust you?” Steve cuts you off, his vigilant tone as unnerving as his stare.

“Send Barnes in.” Fury motions to agent Hill, who exits the room, only to return with him: the one person you thought could get you out of this situation.

Bucky keeps his head down, making sure to avoid any eye contact. You desperately want to yell the truth at everyone - the whole truth - but you know that wouldn’t be wise. Especially since they’re already sceptical of everything that’s coming from your deceiving lips. They would never believe that. He would never believe it.

Not until he remembers it all.

“Bucky, do you know if this is the truth?” Hill cautiously asks him.

“No.”

“No, you don’t know, or no, it isn’t the truth?” Fury inquires.

“No, I don’t know.” He states, finally looking up and meeting your gaze. You can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s evident that these newly found memories haven’t treated him well. Especially since he’d started to take a liking to you, which he never let be known. He didn’t know what to make of it when he began to feel a strange, but strong, pull towards you. As if there was some invisible string that was pulling, connecting, the two of you together.

It frayed and snapped as soon as he remembered.

But knowing that he’d felt it in the first place makes his head hurt all the more.

“So, number 12, what is your real name?” Fury looks straight into your eyes, almost burning through your skull with his intensity.

“And don’t even think about lying to us again.” Steve snarls. You hesitate for a moment, drawing heavy breaths.

“My real name- my real name is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Let’s put it to the test, shall we?” Fury proposes.

A few moments later, you’re being hooked up to a lie detector by Bruce. He then sits diagonal to you with the polygraph machine in front of him.

“We’re set.” He states.

“Perfect. Let’s get started, shall we?” Tony is now back in the room. A full house.

They don’t hesitate with the questions, getting straight into it, yes or no.

“Before you joined this team, were you a HYDRA agent?” Hill begins with. There is no way for you to escape this, no stopping the rollercoaster from plunging down as you reach the top.

“Yes.”

“An assassin?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still work for them?” Steve’s turn.

“No.”

“Do you still associate yourself with them in any way?”

“No.”

“Are you in contact with them?” Tony asks.

“No.”

“Do you plan on going back to them? Becoming one of them again?” Steve begins again.

“No.” You answer through gritted teeth now.

“Bruce?” Fury chimes in, and all heads turn to him, as he reads the coloured lines on the paper.

“She’s telling the truth so far.” He confirms.

The questions, the interrogating, it continues for several more minutes. Questions like: Are you loyal to this team? Are you really here to make good of your past? Is that life with HYDRA over for good?

Yes, yes, and yes.

“Did you assist in the torture of a Seargent James Barnes whilst you were a part of HYDRA?” Fury reads from a sheet, making sure to leave no stone unturned. A stone that it feels as if he just threw at your stomach. You force your eyes upwards and to Bucky’s, brimming with sadness.

“Yes.” Your answer feels so sour against your tongue. You pry your eyes away and they fall to the floor once more.

“All true.” Bruce confirms once more.

“But-”

“Last question.” Fury walks forward. “How did you manage to get through our system, without us finding any trace of who you really are?” He speaks slowly, deeply, sounding like he has gravel in his throat.

“The old me was classed as dead. I had nothing to my name, not even a life. And HYDRA didn’t make it their first priority to give me one. So, technically I was no one. It wasn’t that hard to create a completely new person. A clean slate, if you will.”

Everyone’s faces are stern, yet utterly mindfucked. No one knows what to think. Fury stands tall and motions his head to the door whilst looking at the others. Everyone exits the room in a disappointed silence.

Bucky is the last to leave. He stands, with his arms crossed and brows furrowed, directly in front of where you sit. The prolonged eye-contact is laced with an unknown, but oddly familiar, tension.

“Bucky, I-” As soon as you begin to speak he follows after the others and shuts and locks the door behind him.

Once again, you’re left with just yourself in the vacant room, besides the company of the chair, table and your infinite, anxiety-ridden thoughts of what the hell is going to happen to you now.

•••

Taglist:

@buckysjuicyplums @901seconds @walkwithfluffyangels @infernal-fire @ohashley101 @mrs-fanfiction-2001 @buckys2thicc @freigeistundanderes

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refinedbuffoonery · 2 years

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Looking Through A Window (11)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

I’m gonna be honest...this chapter is messy and underwritten. My time is limited these days, and I had to choose between obsessing over this not-so-important chapter and putting that time/energy into making the next chapter (which is Very Important) really good.

That being said, there will probably be quite a wait before Ch 12 is posted. I’m trying to survive my last (!!!) semester of college and can only carve out small chunks of time per day. Thank you all SO MUCH for sticking with me and this story, even as I take an eternity to write it. It brings me so much joy to share this little fictional world with you. xoxo

*****

Mac is really tired of these stupid council meetings.

Maybe that’s why the FBI passed this op to the Phoenix. Because they somehow knew it would be so goddamn boring.

So boring, in fact, that Mac lets every word said during the hour-long meeting float in one ear and out the other. He avoids thinking about the inevitable scolding he’ll receive from Riley when he can’t relay any of the information shared today.

Riley. Now there’s someone he does want to pay attention to.

While he’s stuck in this meeting, in a stationary chair with nothing to fidget with, Riley is off getting her nails done. They need to look nice for this weekend, she claimed, having already made the appointment. Mac believed her then. Now he’s pretty sure it was just an excuse to ditch the meeting.

Gleaning anything useful from this snoozefest is a lost cause, so Mac lets his mind play back moments from this morning with aching clarity. He woke half freezing to death since Riley had stolen all of the covers again, leaving him with practically nothing. He yanked the covers back, nestling into their warm, fluffy heaven, but that too was cut short when Riley stole them again. Despite wanting to shove her onto the floor, which he spent several minutes seriously considering, something in Mac’s chest tightened.

Remembering the feeling, Mac rubs his chest as Conrad drones on. And on. And on and on and on and on.

Conrad’s stupid drawl fades into white noise. At this point, listening to the sound of his own breathing would be more enlightening than this.

He thinks about the way Riley’s chest rose and fell, steadily and slowly, as he tucked her in before leaving. Her near silent breathing makes her the quietest person he’s ever shared a bed with, although that doesn’t negate the fact that she has the same ruthless bed-hogging habits as every girlfriend Mac has ever had. And also Jack. Especially Jack.

Honestly, at this point he’s starting to think this is where karma draws the line and his luck runs out. No polite, acceptably warm and snuggly bedfellows for him.

Another voice joins the (one-sided) conversation, but Mac’s relief at the break in monotony is cut short when he realizes it’s Jett, aka the only person here he likes less than Conrad.

Jett should consider that an achievement, honestly.

If Jack was here, he would’ve threatened to bash Jett’s head in by now, which would be very satisfying to watch. Of course, he’d go on to actually bash Mac’s head in for getting up close and personal with his daughter, which would hurt like a bitch.

Sorry, buddy, he thinks. You’ve got to sit this one out. Matty’s orders.

The man sitting beside Mac starts complaining about something, and Mac allows his words to morph into the tantrum Jack would throw on the rare occasion the nature of an op forced him to stay home. Listening to one of those tantrums used to piss him off to no end. But the longer time stretches since Mac heard the last one, the memory fills his chest with more warmth than annoyance.

Unlike Conrad here, who needs to shut the hell up.

The scrape of a metal chair on the warehouse’s concrete floor shatters Mac’s daydream and causes a hush to fall over the room. It seems Mac isn’t the only one getting a headache from listening to Conrad talk in circles. Standing, Ethan slides his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, the picture of nonchalance. A good actor.

“Thank you all for coming today,” Ethan says, as if this were some special occasion and not the regular Wednesday morning council meeting. “I’d like to remind you that the fundraiser gala for Cody Rickshaw’s campaign is this Saturday. The party starts at 6 p.m., so I’d like to see you all there no later than 7. Dress code is black tie.” The last sentence earns scattered groans and eye-rolls, but they all show begrudging acceptance of being put on parade. Clearly aware of that, Ethan gives his men a cool smile. “I’ll see you then.”

Dismissed, the men scatter before they can be forced to agree to anything else they don’t want to do. Mac does the same—a detail he’ll leave out of this week’s action report.

Conrad catches him on his way out the door, and Mac has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. So much for slipping out unseen. “James, I’ve got a quick question for you,” Conrad drawls.

Mac plasters on his best business face. “Shoot.” Conrad doesn’t catch the pun. If Riley was here, she would’ve laughed.

“Do you do explosives?” Conrad asks bluntly.

Not expecting that question, Mac’s brain stalls as he puzzles through why the hell Conrad would want a bomb. Shit, does this have something to do with the fundraiser? Three days is a tight window to build and plant a bomb, but doable.

Mac weighs his options. He could tell Conrad ‘no’ and potentially decrease future casualties. But Conrad could very well find another bomb maker, making Mac less useful to the organization. Or Mac could say ‘yes’ and maintain his monopoly on the Patriots’ weapons supply.

He isn’t stupid. His value only goes as far as his usefulness.

“I do,” he says, deciding to worry about the consequences later. It’ll be fine. Or maybe this is a huge mistake. He doesn’t know. He wishes Riley was here to be the voice of reason.

He’s careful not to let any of that show on his face. He can hide his trepidation so long as Conrad doesn’t question him, which thankfully, he doesn’t.

Conrad lowers his voice before asking, “How much would it cost me for something that could level a building?”

Holy shit. Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit.

Mac slides his hands into his pockets to hide the shaking. Hopefully all Conrad sees is nonchalance. “More than the guns,” he answers calmly. Conrad whistles. The first shipment of guns alone had cost an outrageous amount of money. How the Patriots acquired that sort of funding was beyond Mac, but he wasn’t about to question it before the wire transfer was complete. Now, however…

The lump sums migrating in and out of the Patriots’ bank accounts continue to plague Mac’s thoughts. Where the hell are they getting this much money from?

“I think we can make that work,” Conrad replies, surprising Mac. “Ethan and I need to talk it over a bit more, but we’ll come to you next week with a formal request.”

“Alright.” It’s risky, but Mac adds, “If you clue me in to what you’re planning, I’ll be able to make better suggestions.” He takes it all back. This op is not boring, and he’ll never even think such a thing again in order to avoid jinxing future ops. He always made fun of Jack for being superstitious, but dammit sometimes that bastard was right.

Conrad smiles knowingly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

*****

The apartment is quiet when Mac returns, which means Riley is still out getting her nails done. Honestly, it’s fine by him, since it means he now has uninterrupted time to puzzle through what building Conrad and Ethan want to blow up.

The problem is that he doesn’t have a damn clue.

Houston is a big city, and the Patriots could want to level any number of buildings here. But then again, their target might be in a different city altogether. Which begs the question, how far is the Patriots’ reach?

The FBI intel said they’re nothing more than a grassroots startup, but if they’re really that small, then why did the Phoenix get called in to deal with it? The Phoenix solves crises in progress, not future problems; they’re the “Big Guns,” as the long-time tac team guys like to call him and Riley.

So if he’s the Big Guns, then why is he getting paid to sit on his ass? The jurisdiction politics just don’t line up.

Scratch that. None of it lines up.

Harley trots out of the bedroom, and Mac drops to his knees to greet her. It’s routine at this point—a good scratch behind both ears and a kiss on the forehead. Breathing her in, Mac wrinkles his nose. “You stink,” he informs her.

He should probably call Matty and Bozer to fill them in on the bomb thing, but until he learns more next week, they’ll just be harassing him for information he doesn’t have. They can wait, Mac decides. At least until he tells Riley.

Which means he has plenty of time to give Harley a bath.

Brushing her is already a hassle, so Mac can only imagine how much getting her into the tub is going to suck. Grabbing the peanut butter and a spoon, he lures his already-suspicious dog into the bathroom, shutting the door halfway behind them.

He sets the peanut butter jar on top of the toilet and starts unbuttoning his pants, because Harley always headbutts the back of his knees while he’s trying to pee. As long as she’s occupied, Mac can shut the door faster than she can escape. Or at least he hopes so.

Harley falls right into his trap.

She aims straight for his knees, and as soon as she makes contact, Mac throws the peanut butter at the door. The plastic jar collides with a bang, shutting the door and trapping Harley inside. Mac smirks at her, gloating, “I win.” Her head whips back and forth between him and the closed door.

Now that he has her trapped in here, how hard could this be?

Step one: re-button pants. Step two: bathe dog. Simple.

Harley backs into the corner, eyeing Mac suspiciously, but he ignores her, instead getting to work smearing peanut butter along the inside rim of the tub. Lucky for him, it’s the kind of tub that’s also a shower, and it has a removable showerhead. In no universe would Harley wait patiently while someone dumps water over her with a bowl.

After a staring contest, a wrestling match, and quite a bit of pleading from both sides, Harley is in the tub and drenched in water, and for that matter, so is Mac. While she’s distracted by the peanut butter, Mac works shampoo into her thick coat. For now, at least, the battle is over; Harley doesn’t seem to care as Mac scrubs her back, head, belly, legs, and even between her buttcheeks.

Mac doesn’t question his luck. Especially not when the peanut butter runs out before he’s finished.

“Just your tail, and then we’re done,” he tells her.

What the little information they had on Harley’s past failed to mention is that Harley hates her tail being touched and, as Mac quickly discovers, will go to great lengths to avoid it. Too slippery to hold, she flops across the tub like a fish out of water, tail tucked and her butt to the wall. Mac keeps reaching, and Harley keeps squirming. He curses under his breath.

There’s a gentle knock on the bathroom door, and Mac jumps in surprise, accidentally knocking over the shampoo bottle. It hits the tub floor with an echoing thud.

“Everything okay in there?” Riley’s voice is muffled by the wood.

“Yeah. I’m trying to bathe the damn dog, but—” he grunts, using his body to block Harley from jumping out of the tub— “it’s not going well.”

The door cracks open, and soft laughter fills the tiny room. Riley asks, “Want help?”

“Please,” he begs. Harley likes Riley better anyway. Maybe she’ll cooperate with her. Closing the door behind her, Riley kneels on the floor beside Mac and pours a dollop of shampoo into her palm.

She instructs, “You hold. I’ll scrub.”

Harley doesn’t stand a chance with both of them there. Her tail gets scrubbed. Thoroughly.

Reaching for the showerhead, Riley says, “You’ll never guess who I was seated next to at the nail place.”

“Who?”

“Carrie Ann.”

Mac feels sorry for her already. “How’d that go?” Harley wiggles in his arms, and he tightens his grip.

“Honestly? We had a good time. She’s like a nosey but well-meaning aunt. Once I dodged all the too-personal questions, she was actually kind of cool.”

Cool isn’t a word Mac would ever use to describe Carrie Ann, but if Riley, of all people, could learn to like her… Maybe she isn’t so bad after all. But only maybe.

“Nice,” Mac says. While they’re on the subject, he asks, “What color did you get?”

Riley blinks, taken aback. “You care?”

“Isn’t that the question I’m supposed to ask? Because if you report back that I’m a terrible fake-husband, Matty will definitely put it on my permanent record.” That earns him a genuine laugh, low and melodic. A soft smile lingers on her face afterward, and Mac wishes he had his phone so he could take a picture and keep her expression with him forever.

“You’re not a terrible fake-husband. And I got metallic dark blue.” She holds out her free hand for him to examine, then her bare foot. “My toes match.”

There it is again—that comforting wave of domesticity. He sees these moments so clearly sometimes, timestamped with a future date and slightly altered. Moments just like this—him and his wife sitting on the bathroom floor, soapy and soaking wet, in the middle of a disastrous attempt to bathe the dog. Not for the first time, Mac feels like he’s looking through a window to what could be the rest of his life.

“Looks nice,” he says.

As they finish rinsing Harley, Riley accidentally sprays him with the showerhead. Well, the first time might’ve been an accident, but after the second, Mac isn’t so sure.

By the third time, Mac knows it’s intentional.

“Watch where you’re aiming that thing,” he warns. Riley just smirks.

“Did I spray you? My bad.” She doesn’t sound sorry. Not in the slightest.

Before she can spray him a fourth time, Mac tries to yank the showerhead from her hand, snarling, “Give me that.” Riley’s grip is stronger than he expects, and they end up clamoring over one another in the wettest-ever game of keep-away. Mac never manages to steal the showerhead from her entirely, but he can taste the sweetness of satisfaction—although that might just be soapy water—when he directs the spray so it hits Riley square in the chest.

She retaliates by spraying him in the face.

Water lands just as much outside of the tub as inside as Mac and Riley keep fighting. Sharp barking, then laughter, echoes in the small space. After Mac spectacularly loses the upper hand, Riley has him pinned to the rim of the tub with the spray pointed toward his face, and Mac’s hand isn’t big enough to block all of the water—only enough to avoid being waterboarded. Still, she pushes, victory in sight.

He’s beyond soaked. The only thing Mac has left to fight for is his dignity, and he’s on the verge of losing that too. At least no one else is here to see him lose a fight he saw coming from a mile away.

Jack would’ve wanted Riley to win anyway.

Mac holds his breath. Letting go of the showerhead, warm water drowns his senses as he lunges for the shower handle. His fingers close around the cool metal, and not a moment too soon, the water shuts off. Coughing up water, Mac jokes, “We should probably leave this out of our reports.”

Riley releases him, smirking. “Leave out the fact that you lost? Not a chance.”

Mac groans. He should’ve seen that coming too.

Speaking of seeing… he’d have to be blind not to notice the way Riley’s pale blue t-shirt clings to her body and is now slightly see-through. Before she can catch him staring, Mac lowers his gaze from her chest, but then he’s thinking about her thighs around his hips and how he’s dying to drag her back onto his lap—an even more dangerous train of thought—and he’s forced to slide his gaze even lower. All the way down.

For now, the only safe place to look is the ground.

Harley paws his back, reminding him of the whole point of this endeavor. He grabs both towels off the rack to start drying her.

“Is that my towel?” Riley asks, frowning.

“I’ll wash it.”

She grumbles, “You’re lucky we have extras.”

Once Harley is semi-dry and the towels have been laid out to soak up the water on the floor, Mac and Riley sit across from each other with Harley between them. If they let her out now, she’ll immediately jump on the bed and the couch and end up making the whole apartment smell like wet dog.

Using their own waterlogged state as an excuse, Mac convinces Riley to stay in here with him and Harley. It’s the perfect opportunity to check in with her while her guard is still down. “How are you?” Mac asks, banishing his earlier train of thought.

He sees her walls go up, sees it in the way her body tenses and her eyes go cold. It’s an instinctive reaction, he’s learned. Either she’ll relax and answer his question, or she’ll choose to give distant, clipped answers. Mac really hopes it’s the former.

“I’m…” she trails off. “I’m okay. The thing with my mom got me.” Riley hugs a knee to her chest. “It was terrifying, Mac. I’m not…I’m not ready to lose another parent.”

Mac nods. He knows that feeling all too well. He wishes he didn’t.

“Anyway,” Riley says, changing the subject, “how are you?”

Mac doesn’t answer right away, taking stock of his feelings about each aspect of the op.

The Patriots and their plans make him nervous. And the fundraiser gala this weekend…that has to be more than just a fancy party, right? Not to mention Conrad’s bomb request this morning.

On top of that, living with Riley is complicated, to say the least. The problem is that it’s easy, and Mac can’t stop thinking about what his life could be like if only she loved him back, if only they were both willing to risk the relationship they already have. There’s also the problem of her being incredibly distracting, all the time.

And last but not least: Harley. His relationship with her is so hot and cold Mac has no idea where he stands half of the time. She’s smart and seems to want affection, but the second he or Riley makes a mistake, it’s back to square one. Bonding with animals takes time, and he knows that, but still. All he wants is for Harley to realize she’s safe and loved.

He’s not sure how to verbalize all of that, so instead he gestures to his clothes and answers, “Wet.” Riley snorts.

“Come on. I gave you a good answer.”

She did. Now he owes her one in return.

Mac picks the easiest one.

“Nervous,” he admits. “I’m still not sure we’re doing the right thing with the Patriots. Helping terrorists just feels wrong, even if it’s to ensure we take out the entire operation when we finally call in the cavalry.” Harley lays down, resting her head on Riley’s thigh, and Mac has to shove down a pang of jealousy before continuing. “After the meeting today, Conrad asked me if I could make them a bomb. No details yet; he just wanted to know if I could.”

“What did you tell him?” Riley asks cautiously, stroking Harley’s head. Mac can’t decide whether he’s more jealous that Harley is in her lap, or of Harley being in her lap.

“I said yes. Figured it was a better option than him finding a separate bomb maker.”

“Okay,” Riley says, and she means it. “That’s good. That’s one more variable we can control.” Mac wasn’t too sure about his decision before, but when Riley puts it that way, it makes sense.

“Yeah.” Mac lets his eyes drift, and they land on the gray tufts of hair from Harley’s undercoat along the baseboards. That dog sheds so much, no matter how often they clean, there’s always hair everywhere. “We need to vacuum again.”

He needs the distraction. From Riley. From the op. From all of it. He hates cleaning, but anything that keeps his hands busy also keeps his head clear, and that’s a trade Mac is always willing to make.

“Rock, Paper, Scissors?” Riley holds out her fist. Mac does the same.

“On shoot.”

Mac loses. Lucky him.

When he vacuums later that afternoon, he tracks down every piece of hair in the whole apartment, checking in every nook and cranny. Once he’s gotten all the hair, maybe the vacuum will suck down his fears about the Patriots and this weekend too.

~ Tag List ~ Want to be added? Send me an ask.

@angelinanao

@annmariestuff

@bluedrew12

@dreambelievergeek

@emilyscotson

@erika-amber

@fandomsilovewithoutshame

@fangirlfreak08

@g3svv

@hellishrose

@holbytlanna

@i-cant-think-of-a-name-15

@ijamaica5535

@justaghostmonument

@likeit-or-leaveit

@losingitovermacriley

@macrileyedits

@macs-paperclips

@multi-fandomshipper101

@mylifequotesshowallofthem

@nikki-1607

@orange-cat-vet

@penny114

@redjedistarfighter

@sxrein

@tall-tanned-tattoo

@thecarrieonokay

@tom-hunter-summah

@whatsabex

#beth writes #looking through a window au #macriley #angus macgyver #riley davis

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delaber · 3 years

Text

Just Friends (Part 12)

Story Summary: After moving to America for a 3-month long internship, you meet two interesting characters on a boring night out.

Word Count: 4.6K

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, minor drug use, smut, angst, slight dom!Rafa, swearing, and loads of British references (sorry not sorry lol)

Chapter Note: Okay so I probably should’ve tagged this story with angst. Whoops. Sorry guys

Tag List: lonelydance mysearchforgratification ramp-it-up blndspotting summerofsnowflakes exrthangel honeysucklechocolatedrippin captaintightpants58

Other Parts: See Masterlist

On Friday at 11 pm, you practically ran out the door of the lab, happy that you had managed to get so much work done within the past week. You needed some well-deserved time off and you could not wait to see Rafa and party with him and his friends all night. You had changed into the green dress that Samantha had picked out for you and was careful not to get it all sweaty as you fast-paced to the closest metro-line, hopping on the first train, eager to party.

As you arrived outside the guys' house, you could tell that it was already packed with people as laughter and rap music was booming out of the open windows in the kitchen. With a significant bounce in your step, you walked to the front door and stepped inside. The music was almost unbearably loud inside the house as you took a look around the room.

With Diggs' birthday present in hand (a bottle of Scotch and some British toffees) you did a quick scan for either the birthday boy or Rafa but was interrupted by a voice coming from the kitchen, "are you looking for Daveed? ‘Cause he disappeared into the bathroom with a girl a couple of minutes ago," a beautiful woman smiled at you. You vaguely recognised her as the girl who'd played Rafa's girlfriend in Blindspotting.

"Glad to hear that he's enjoying his birthday," you laughed, "you wouldn't happen to know where I can find Rafael?"

The girl's eyes widened, "Ooh! You're the British chick that Rafa's been on and on about for months now!" she presented her hand to you, "I'm Jasmine."

You shook her hand but your mind was elsewhere, "Rafa's been on about me... for months?"

"Yeah! I first heard about you way back in November at our annual Thanksgiving-party. He didn't know how to woo you," Jasmine smiled warmly, "and when I saw him again on Christmas day, he was still talking about wooing you even though he hadn't seen you since."

"You're kidding me!" you laughed.

"Nope!" Jasmine joined you in laughing, "he was clearly wounded by how completely uninterested you were," she chuckled.

"Aw, that poor little famous man!"

"Yeah it does get to his head sometimes. So it's really great when someone like you finally shows up and forces him to take it down a notch."

"Always happy to kindly pick him apart," you joked.

"Oh, you did way more than that!" Jasmine smiled, "to this day he will not shut up about you," she groaned playfully, "what happened? Did he finally drop by your house as we all advised him to do?"

"Nope," you shook your head with a low chuckle, "we actually bumped into each other randomly at new years."

"Ugh, I knew he'd chicken out!" Jasmine sighed, "Well I'm glad to hear that it worked out anyway - even though I have to admit that it's slightly hurtful that he didn't take any of his friends' advice," she smiled, "especially since we all told him to do the same thing; just leave a damn note."

Although you were flattered that Rafa had been talking to his friends about you even before you'd bumped into him again on new years, you had to admit that it was mildly surprising too. You were slowly realising that Rafa may have downplayed exactly how much he had thought about you in the weeks between your first and second encounter.

Jasmine's voice brought you back to reality, "You got him good," she laughed, "I don't think he's had such a challenge in years! It clearly humbled him that you didn't throw yourself at him at the first chance you got. We all adore you for leaving him desperate for more on the curb."

"Glad to be of service!" You laughed as well, already fond of Jasmine. She seemed just as carefree and bubbly as Samantha.

"Why don't we go see if we can find him? I know he's been dying for you to get here, looking at his phone every two seconds," Jasmine smiled at you.

"Yeah, I've been looking forward to it too," you smiled.

"I think he's playing beer pong in the living room."

You put down Daveed's present on a small table and followed Jasmine to the next room where most of the party goers were either dancing, talking in clusters, or playing various drinking games. Just as Jasmine had predicted, Rafa was playing beer pong with a group of people looking excitedly at the game unfolding before them. Rafa was in a light shirt and black slacks, the golden bracelet he always wore swung loosely around his wrist. His hair was in its normal slight swoop, the stubble on his chin a bit longer than you'd seen it before. He looked damned good as he was laughing with his friends.

"Hey Casal!" Jasmine said and gained his attention.

Rafa looked up at her with an expectant look on his face, clearly waiting for her continue speaking. His gaze quickly flickered to you, and when your eyes finally met, he had the same reaction as the night you'd met on new years eve; eyes softening significantly, smile slowly cracking on his face until his mouth was spread as wide as it possibly could, a hand flying to his heart as he took in your appearance. Without breaking his eye contact with you, he padded his teammate on the back and mumbled something to him before he stepped over to you, immediately pulling you tight against his chest.

"Hi," he whispered softly against you, "fuck, you look amazing," he grumbled, "I love that dress," his hands slid over your back and came to a rest just above your hip bone.

"Thanks. You look very handsome," you threw your arms around his waist, and looked up at him, almost wishing you could kiss him.

"Is it the beard?" he smiled, a slight growl to his voice.

"Yeah, you look almost grown-up," you chuckled, "where's the snarky boy from the bar?"

"Oh, he's long gone," Rafa winked down at you before he let you go when his teammate shouted his name.

"Hey, why don't you go make yourself a drink and I'll join you shortly?" he smiled, and sent Jasmine a look that silently asked her to take care of you.

"Come," Jasmine tugged on your arm, "I could use a drink as well."

You reluctantly left Rafa to go back to his game of beer pong and followed Jasmine to the other end of the living room. You both mixed a piña colada from the self-service bar, and sat down in a vacant spot in the sofa.

You looked around at the rest of the people in the sofa area, eyes almost immediately interlocking with the man you had met in the living room as you had snuck out the door on January 1st. He looked at you playfully, "Oh hey! I almost didn't recognise you with your clothes on!"

"Oh god," you groaned and laughed in the hopes of shrugging off the embarrassment you felt at the thought, "Definitely not my finest moment!"

"You don't say," he laughed and filled Jasmine in on what had happened that morning. Apparently, they knew each other as well.

"You walked out on Rafa on new years day as well?" Jasmine chuckled, "No wonder he was so grumpy when I called and wished him and Diggs a happy new year."

"Oof, you should've seen him when he found out you'd snuck out the door," the man sent you an anxious smile, "he was not happy! ...But you made up I'm guessing," he said, still smiling widely, "seeing as you're here and all."

"We did," you nodded, slightly embarrassed by how all of his friends apparently were involved in your situation but you shrugged it off with a joke, "so he only uses his friends to unload when he's frustrated? He hasn't even gotten around to tell you all about the happy ending and our rekindling friendship," you smiled.

"Yeah, he's a dick," Jasmine chuckled.

Sofa-man laughed, "Nah, we can take it. We all know that he's just insanely private about the women he fall in love with."

"The women he fall in love with?!!?!" You shrieked but no one really seemed to hear neither your voice nor your heart that was beating like crazy in your chest.

Rafa was in love????

"Oh come on," Jasmine rolled her eyes at sofa-man, "He's not private at all! He just hasn't had anyone to tell us about for years! You know Rafa. He's a big softie posing as a tough guy."

"Yeah, well that's true," the man laughed, "It's actually quite nice to finally meet the woman who was able to tie that boy down."

You felt yourself going dizzy. This was a lot to take in. Did you already mean as much to Rafa as his friends were implying? You were aware of the fact that he was insanely sexually attracted to you and that he was fond of your company - and if you were completely honest with yourself, you also knew that Rafa had a major crush on you but by the way his friends were talking about it Rafa had fallen in lo-

"Heeeeey!" a man behind you broke your stream of thoughts as he put his hands on your shoulders, "you came!"

You looked up to a smiling Daveed who looked quite tipsy.

"Daveed!" you did your best to look excited as if the news that Jasmine and the other guy had broken to you a few seconds before hadn't toppled you, "happy birthday!"

"Aw thanks," he hugged you, "did you say hi to Rafa? He's right over there," he pointed to an overly-confident Rafa who was juggling two ping pong balls.

"Yeah, we just came from over there," Jasmine laughed from beside you.

"Oh Jas!" Daveed said excitedly as if he'd only just realised that she was there, "I see you've finally met Rafa's girl!"

Before Jasmine had even had the chance to think of an answer, you swooped around, "not his girl," you pointed at Daveed and said for what felt like the millionth time since you'd gotten to know him. "I'm not Rafa's girl," you looked back at Jasmine and the man from January 1st too. They both shot you weird looks.

"Oh, trust me. You're his girl," Daveed snickered, apparently not catching on to your tone.

"I assure you I'm not!" you smiled sweetly, "we're just friends. Please stop calling me his girl. We’re friends,” you were aware that your voice was sounding desperate and pleadingly.

The smile finally disappeared from Daveed's face when he heard your tone of voice, "Are you sure Rafa's aware of that?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"He knows!" you nodded to convince him.

"Uh, that's not really the vibe he's been sending," sofa-man said quietly from behind you.

You looked between the three friends, all of them sending you concerned looks.

"Uuuuh.... I... I need to run to the bathroom real quick," you said suddenly and stood up from the sofa, grateful that your feet took you away from the conversation without you really having to steer them. They walked in the opposite direction of the bathroom, steering towards the pool area outside instead. Air! You needed air!

You quickly walked by Rafa and his group of friends playing beer pong, praying that he didn't see you, but luckily it seemed as if he was far too concerned with the last cup standing in front of the opposite team to notice anything else.

Quickly, you opened the door to the outside, snaked your way out and slid it soundlessly shut behind you. You sat down on a bench overlooking the pool thinking about what Rafa's friends had said. Was he really so smitten with you? You couldn't decide whether you felt happy or suffocated. You were going home in a week for crying out loud! If Rafa had fallen in love with you it would complicate things a bunch! You cursed yourself for having played along for so long when deep down you knew that it was bound to happen to at least one of you. You felt like a bloody idiot!

Although... if you were completely honest with yourself, you had to admit that Rafa wasn't the only one who was smitten; you had fallen for him pretty hard as well. You had tried to fight it relentlessly but in the end his sincere nature and sweet gestures had made cupid shoot heart-shaped arrows at you. You thought of the last couple of weeks and how hard it had been for Rafa to keep his hands to himself. It had been quite sweet how involuntary it had all been and how he had practically touched or kissed you at every chance he got. He just couldn't help himself. The thought alone of his helpless, wandering hands made the butterflies flutter awake in your stomach. And you realised that even though you had fought hard to avoid it, you were actually crazy in love with him too. It felt as if you were high as you finally let yourself indulge in the feeling of being in love with him. The feeling ended abruptly, however, as you realised that the two of you didn't have a happy ending. That you still had to go home. That everything was indeed screwed.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of the door behind you sliding slightly open before it was closed again. Not two seconds later, you were joined by Daveed who sat down next to you.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked you as he put a reassuring hand on your arm.

"Yep!" you said a little too chipper to sound believable.

"Is it Rafa?"

You didn't know why you had felt the need to pretend in front of Daceed, so you immediately let down your guard, "how'd you guess," you sighed unenthusiastically.

"What'd the idiot do now?" he too sighed.

"He didn't do anything."

"What are you sitting out here all sad for then?"

"Because I just had an epiphany," you looked up at Daveed.

"An epiphany?" He sent you an amused smile, "sounds interesting. About what?"

"About Rafa," you squinted at him as if the sun was blinding you, "I think we're in love..."

Daveed's smile grew wide, "oh, great! So you finally admit it? He's going to be stoked!"

"It's not exactly great news..."

"Why not?" Daveed laughed, "when is being in love ever bad news?"

"It is when one part is leaving the country in a week," you shot him a pained expression.

"Oh. Yeah," Daveed said slowly, his sassiness visibly dropping to zero, "That part sucks, I know."

"Yep!"

"Which is why I don't understand why you aren't in there soaking up every last minute you have left with him."

"Ugh," you buried your face in your hands, a small desperate laugh escaping your lips, "because this is so complicated. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm usually so in control!"

Daveed laughed, "well I for one know that Rafa has been desperate to get you to drop the act and just smooch him already."

"Oh my god," you laughed into your hands, "I can't believe he's even involved all of his friends. Jasmine and that guy you were hanging with on new years day knew exactly who I was. They told me that Rafa's been ready from the beginning because I was so dismissive towards him."

"Yeah, you spellbound him," Daveed laughed.

"Did I bring this upon myself?" You squinted up at Daveed.

"You're putting too much on your own shoulders. Rafa knew from the get-go that you had to go back to Europe after a couple of months - granted, at first, I think he just saw you as an interesting fuck, but he could've stepped out when he realised that he wanted to hold you tight and buy you hotdogs and what not," he elbowed you with a laugh.

"Yeah... yeah you're right. Do you think he'll handle it alright when I go fly back home?"

He smiled secretively, "he's probably gonna go full emo."

You looked up at Rafa's best friend who you knew would have his work cut out for him, "sorry..."

"Not your fault," Daveed laughed, "and I'm guessing that you'll still keep talking and maybe fly back and forth when you have the chance. I can handle emo-Rafa if you just handle happy-Rafa."

"Sounds like a fair distribution of roles," you laughed before going all serious, "what do I do now?"

"You tell him of course," Daveed smiled brightly, "and you two just enjoy the upcoming week. I'll find somewhere to stay so you can have crazy monkey sex all over the house without having to think about the cock-block of a roomie," he winked at you.

"You truly possess big 'best mate'-energy," you laughed.

"I do," he nodded.

You smiled at him for a second before the seriousness of the situation hit you again, "wow, I wish I wasn't so..." you couldn't find the right word.

"European?" Daveed finished.

"Yeah," you chuckled, "if I didn't live so fucking far away from here, it'd be a completely different situation."

"I know," Daveed said and hugged you, "cheer up. It's gonna suck for a while but you'll find a way."

"Thanks," you mumbled into his shoulder.

You were still hugging when you heard the door slide open behind you.

"I thought I saw you two out here," Rafa's voice called happily when he stepped outside.

Daveed slowly let go of you, allowing you to turn around and face Rafa who had a large grin plastered on his face.

"My best friend and my... other friend," he smiled drunkenly, "what a sight."

"I'll give you two some privacy," Daveed said with a wink before he went inside.

Rafa took Daveed's seat next to you, immediately pulling you close, "why were you and Diggs sitting out here all alone? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," you smiled up at him, "yeah, everything's good."

"So you don't know why Jasmine looked at me all worried just before?"

"I kind of ditched her," you sent him an apologetic look.

"Aw, you don't like Jas?"

"I do! I just had to get some air and clear my head," you smiled.

"Yeah? Long day at the office?"

"You have no idea!" You laughed, "I hope you had a better day than I did."

"Mmh, I'm having the best day," he buried his face in your neck, "It's Diggs' birthday and you're here with me and I'm just having a really, really great night."

"Alright," you laughed, "well, in connection with that, I have something to tell you that I hope will make it even better," you grinned while he nuzzled against your neck. He was being really cute and you couldn't help but laugh at him, "this is a big deal, could you not act like a lovesick puppy right now?"

"No," he kissed your collarbone, "what do you want to tell me," he chuckled drunkenly.

You took a deep breath, "Rafa -"

"Mmmh," he interrupted you with a growl as he licked his lips, "I love it when you say my name," he grinned up at you.

"Be serious for once!" You laughed, "I'm about to blow your mind over here!"

"Mmmh, can't wait," he smiled, lips inching closer and closer to yours, his eyes glistening in the dim light from the pool. He smelled of beer and whiskey and it made you feel both adventurous and safe at the same time. His right hand was warm against the back of your neck as he closed the distance between you, his lips moving slowly and sensually against yours while his left hand was stroaking your thigh. He was humming slightly as he moved his body closer to you, the hand he had on your neck travelling to the middle of your thoracic spine where he pushed slightly, bringing your torso even closer to his. Kissing Rafa and finally allowing yourself to do so without feeling bad about it felt more amazing than you had ever imagined, and you felt your heart explode in a heap of colours as you both poured yourself into the slow kiss. All the nervousness you'd felt only moments before was now gone, and you suddenly couldn't wait to tell him that you were in love with him. Slowly, you pulled your lips away from his, earning yourself a small whimper from him.

"Rafa," you tried once more.

"I know, I know. You don't have to say anything," he stated flatly with a smile, his words a bit slurred from the alcohol, "I already know what you're gonna say."

"You do?" Amused, you arched an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah," he smiled confidently, "you're gonna call me out for kissing you and for wanting to fuck your brains out, and you're gonna remind me of your code and the fact that you're leaving in 7 days and blablabla," he said cockily, "and because I care about you, I'll pretend that I care about your code, so I'll tell you sorry and that I'll be on my best behaviour, and you'll accept my apology and I'll patiently wait for the next opportunity and start all over again until you finally say to hell with it all and act like you really want to. And around it goes," he smirked, his lips suddenly close to yours again, "does that sound about right?"

You blinked a few times while his words settled in your brain. Did he just say what you think he did? "Wait what? Hold up Rafa. Back up a second; You patiently wait for opportunities to overstep the boundaries of the friendship that we both agreed on? You keep pushing until I say to hell with it and let you do whatever you want?" You repeated with closed eyes, wondering if you'd understood him correctly, "are you saying that you did all of those more-than-friendly touches, and hugs, and kisses on purpose? That you were in fact able to keep your hands to yourself but you pretended not to be so you could make me say 'to hell with it?'," you looked at him rather unimpressed.

"I wanted to win you over," he shrugged with a crooked smile, "did I manage? It feels like I managed," he snickered. He did not look as cute right now as he had done only seconds before, the smell of beer and whiskey suddenly a tad bit sickening.

"So what you're saying is that you lied and pretended to be interested in being friends with me when in reality, all you could think about was planning your next move so I'd let you screw me?"

"Aw, come on. You're making me sound like a villain," he groaned.

"Rafa, let me get straight with you," you said sternly, "Don't you understand that I made those rules so this wouldn't happen?"

He finally seemed to understand the severity of the situation, "so what wouldn't happen?" He spoke in an offended tone as he straightened up.

"So we wouldn't fall for each other! And now I find out that you had an elaborate scheme to get me to throw myself at you when I told you specifically that I was not interested in that? What kind of a sociopat does that?" You stood up from the bench, anger bubbling more and more in your veins as you slowly realised what he'd done, "what the fuck, Rafa?!"

"You think I did it completely for myself?" He asked calmly but with offence still staining his tone of voice, "you think I did it to somehow lure you into sleeping with me? You really don't see that I did it because I thought you deserved to listen to your instincts for once instead of doing what you think is the right thing to do?"

"You had no right!"

"Hey, don't you dare put all the blame on me!" His voice was raised slightly as he too stood up from the bench, "you were just as bad at keeping your hands to yourself as I was! Inviting me up for tea and fucking cuddling," he spat.

"I had one weak moment!" You held up your finger.

"Oh don't give me that shit! You had several! How about kissing me in the living room after the concert? And a few days ago in Diggs' car? Or masturbating in front of me - or even whipping out your tits in the bathroom when you know I'm crazy about you?"

"That's the problem, Rafa! I thought you were just sexually frustrated! Had I known you were bonkers about me this whole time, I wouldn't have allowed it to come this far!"

"Oh you wouldn't have allowed it?" He said in a wild tone of voice, "well I'm fucking sorry for having my own free will. As if I need your permission to fall for you."

"I can't believe that I got caught up in your web," you scoffed. Mostly to yourself, "I mean; I knew you were dangerous! I knew you'd have the ability to smooth talk your way into my heart - but never in my wildest imagination did I think that you'd screw me over and do all of this on purpose to get me to fall for you. What did you do it for? Did you do it to check off the girl who rejected you? Self gratification? Bragging rights to your mates? A couple of weeks of sex? What Rafa?"

"Oh fuck you," he spat, "don't give me that shit when you're clearly just as crazy about me as I am about you."

"I'm not sure I am anymore," you said rather childishly.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that so you can fuck off back to England without ever having to think of me again," he panted, "is that what you want? Is that really what you think is realistic? If you think you can put me in a box labelled 'my PhD-trip to California' and never think of me again, then you're clearly not as clever as I thought you were. Do you really think that just because you've tried to stay abstinent, that you could leave every thought of me across the ocean?" His voice broke as he took a step closer to you.

"I don't know what I thought," you said calmly, eyes piercing through him, "clearly, it was a mistake to engage in anything with you."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down so he could be rational, "look, I'm sorry if I tricked you. It really wasn't my intention and I clearly made a mistake and you got hurt. I just need you to understand that I didn't do it on purpose; I just wanted to get you to act on your feelings instead of staying in your head. I just wanted you to enjoy your time here. With me."

"You ruined it, Rafa," you said slowly, "I don't care if you hurt me on purpose or not. You still did. You manipulated me."

"Baby come on," he croaked, his voice cracking.

"I'm not your baby," you whispered.

You looked at each other for a few seconds, his eyes drunk and hurt. "Is this is then?" He croaked with desperate hands gesturing to nothing in particular, "do you really think that my actions are so unforgivable that we can't see each other anymore?"

"No, it's not unforgivable. I just don't see the point in forgiving you when I leave in a bit anyway."

"You're breaking my heart," he said quietly.

"You broke mine first."

#rafael casal x reader #rafael casal #daveed diggs #blindspotting #rafael casal imagine #smut #rafael casal fanfiction #bay boys

55 notes · View notes

mymadmedleyw · 3 years

Text

Fic Writer Review

I was tagged by @dp-marvel94 (I am just saying this is my very first occassion to by tagged in a thing like that, so filling this made my day really, thank you!)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

22 – wow, that sounds many…

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

206.997, and more than the half belongs under one idea – that’s creepy…

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh, it’s many… once, I am into something, I have to write in that – surprisingly I am addicted to DP for nearly a year, and nothing else.

(But little bit of history, from the newest to the oldest: Danny Phantom, The Irregulars (that was really a short one), Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians (my very first finished multi-chaptered one was in that), Dark, Charmed (the old one, not the new series), Gravity Falls, Venom, Doctor Who, a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law, Death Note/Death Note: Another Note; and I had some ideas about a Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls crossover, and it seems I never uploaded here my concept about a not crossover Tangled: The Series idea, and either an independent one in Rick and Morty, hm… shame. Most of those are not finished. Okay, like 99% of it…)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Core (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~3k

What The Past Holds (Danny Phantom), wip, ~91k

Pitch’s Secret (Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians), finished, ~14k

We are not alone (Venom), really short one, ~1k

Phantom (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~2k

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

Definitely it’s WTPH. It’s my current work. The idea about it came in December, and since that, I am working on that constantly. At first, I had ideas for eight chapters, and nothing else. Now, it grew into this monstrosity: a side-line (Bonds Over Time), and a collection that contains the deleted scenes or ideas that appeared in my mind and could fit into the story (Bits Of The Past), and also an entirely finished concept for Vlad’s past (Certain Moment Of Time), that could be connected to it too.

I also put many headcanons in that, and ticks of characters, and parallels, and layers that I just love: like Vlad having a sister and some details about his family background, Dan having Vlad’s memories too, how the explosion in the Nasty Burger happened and how Dan turned out like that… some precious things, really, but I won’t elaborate much, in case of anyone wants to give a read to it. Overall, I tried to make the TUE-mess into a somewhat more reasonable logical mess – if I managed to do that at all. I don’t know I’m just like a mother with a new-born with it: look, it’s my child! I made it! I developed it! here, hold it! and love it too, as much as I do! (Sorry, I don’t know how that metaphor came…)

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Even if it’s a kudo, or a keysmash as a comment, I write back. I mean, if someone writes – literally anything – and spends time with it, I write them back too. (And my very bad habit, that sometimes, if the comment hits an interesting thought, I tend to explain the background behind that more, and accidentally spilling some things I shouldn’t yet... In many cases, it’s like a brainstorming, and then I use that idea. I mean as, for example many of @dp-marvel94’s comments on ff, made me to realise some things, and how then I fixed those forgotten parts made my story along with it much better – once, I will list them, and you’ll be surprised how long is that list, and how obvious things I forgot about entirely…)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Okay, I don’t have many finished story – shame on me. So, I’ll count the shorts. I think it’s then Phantom. It rolls around the idea what if in Forever Phantom, Danny can’t change back to Phantom, and his parents blame Phantom for the disappearance of Danny, and they start chasing madly the ghosts, making them leave the human realm once and for all – which means, Danny has to go with them. It’s really a short fic, but I very like this idea, and it was my very first in this fandom. (I was watching DP that time, I mean, getting familiar with it, but this idea got stuck in my head as I watched that episode, so that was my introduction here. Also, I watched my very first DP episode that time, which means, less then a year ago, so, I am that newbie here…) I am not spilling the end of the story, but it doesn’t have a very happy end I could say.

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Uh, yes? I have a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law. It’s unfinished, but that time I thought Milo and Varian have the same vibe, including clumsiness. It was only a short idea that time, but it’s definitely worth once to continue or finish somehow. I have a crossover within Rick and Morty, and Gravity Falls. That is standing within my very big idea, but it’s halfway written on my original language and English and that’s like after how a certain trilogy end, but it has some mentioning of ideas I never finished, so yeah… it’s not even published anywhere. Maybe, once, I’ll decide what language I prefer for that, and translate the other part and then, hardly, but I’ll finish it some day... – or, never, it actually would be a very big bite if I try to imagine it.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t remember to that. I mean, my main story (WTPH) kind of not everyone’s preference, ’cause of Dan, so that’s already divides the readers and I haven’t got all in all many comments yet on my stories (kudos are appreciated too, I am shy too to leave comments on fics, so don’t worry, I get it), so I think I haven’t got any. But I'd be curious to experience if someone reads one of my stories and leaves behind a comment that then criticizing it. I mean, I’d be open to learn what part is not fitting, or just too much. (I am surprised that no one ever mentioned my ’weird’ sentences. I mean for me those make sense, but those make sense for a native English person too? I’m always worried about that…)

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Uh, yeah, I did. Not very proud of it, though I don’t have a heart to orphan that work. I mean, it belongs to me too. Sometimes I wonder to delete some of my works, but then I realise, no, that’s me, I won’t pretend where I came from, and shove into the dustbin my mad thoughts... All in all, my stories now, for a while, are much more family-friendly – if, anything within DP could be really counted as ‘family-friendly’…

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, I was very proud of my story back then, called Metamorphosis (Death Note), and I had a crazy idea and tried to translate it. So now, the first chapter is out there both in English and both in my native language, but I got stuck at the second chapter. I couldn’t translate wisely and logically the title of it to give out the many meaning it has in English. And I once tried to translate California (Gravity Falls) to English, but that would be a hard work, so I left it behind – maybe once…

Over that I sometimes has a crazy idea to translate back and forth my stories, no, beyond that, I haven’t had a fic translated from anyone else. And I think I am the only masochist that it ever crosses my mind, I guess…

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. I’d be curious to once do that – maybe, but I’m not sure...

(To tell the truth, I’d be worried about that. I’d be glad to do that once, but I am anxious if I could understand my co-writer, or not. I mean, do you have any idea that I have to give five reads to any longer comments to understand it? I understand those (and I really love getting those!), but I have to give many reads to make sure I understand those well, and then, making sure, I answer back right, and my sentences make sense. My fics have ’fancy’ words, and I love working in English, but sometimes it’s a curse it’s not my native one. So then, I’m constantly worried about interactions, if I receive well something, and if my sentences are understandable for others or not. So, in short, you can see my struggle here… same reason I don’t do Invisobang, but I am considering it...)

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m not very much a ship-type. But I count Danny and Sam, as a fix point. (Danny and Val was nice and I’d have been very glad to see them in more episodes, but let’s face it, that wouldn’t work, because both of them are too stubborn to choose their other life and if once, they would face with each other, knowing everything about the other, they’d remain allies or at most very good friends.) If, the question is, what are the ships in my head (but not necessarily just ‘romantic’) that I prefer to read, well, it’s Dan and Valerie. I love their dynamics, especially in Deliverance. I don’t know why I just love reading it.

For other reasons I ship Dani and Valerie. Though I can’t write romance and stuff like that, but in one of my planned ideas they are dating - sort-of...

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay, there are many. Surely, it’s my Gravity Falls story, called California, but that’s a huge one, and the first one in a trilogy (plus some additional side-lines), and mainly in my head for years, so yeah… I think I won’t ever reasonably finish that as it should be finished. A Tale of Fords (Gravity Falls) could be count as one too. Oh, and Envision and ties (Doctor Who). Sad to say, but yeah, I am always saying, “maybe once”, but I am not sure when…

15. What are your writing strengths?

Okay, this is a funny thing, but I’ve realised I can’t deal with many characters at the same time. So, I think my strength are dialogues and interactions within two people. And I get into their thoughts, so I guess if I have to word it somehow: it’s character-studies then.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can’t handle more than two people. No, seriously, somehow it always turns out, the third is unconscious, sleeping, leaves the room, and so on. I’ve just recognised it recently, and it was a hilarious recognition…

I am also bad at actions, like very very bad, I don’t even try that, because my brain just simple can’t come up with fight-scenes at all. I think I only can write character-studies, and nothing else.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh, man… does it count I am not a native English-user? So, technically I ‘always’ write dialogues in another language? But jokes aside, sometimes, I have ideas that the people use another language, and I am like “are you aware, you can’t even write English slang?”, so then, I gave up. Right now, though, I am planning to add ASL in one of my future ideas. I am wrecking my mind, how to do that nicely – but that’s only a forming plan, and dated for next year, currently, I am only collecting ideas for that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does it count my very first fic was a fanfiction of one of my friend’s fanfiction in high school? She wrote a really good story – not shared anywhere, we were just giving each other the hand-written exercise book (oh, the old days…). If I remember well, it was a crossover within Supernatural and Queen of the Damned (the movie, not the book). I had no idea about Supernatural, but the story was good, but I was not satisfied with the end, and in secret I wrote another end for it, to myself. I’m not sure where is that anymore, but I clearly remember that was my very first written stuff, and that’s how my origin story began and how is I am here now.

(Oh, and once, I wrote a H2O fanfiction short story to my sister as a name-day present, in which she was a mermaid, discovering her powers during a holiday at a beach (we were at that time in Croatia in a family holiday, so the timing was fitting), and that was one of my very first fandoms to write in it too… God, I have no idea why I wrote it down, it just crossed my mind, and I remember I thought it was cute, I think she was eleven or twelve that time, so I am not sure she appreciated as much as I found it fun to write that…)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is mean… anyway, currently it’s WTPH, for obvious reasons. But I am very proud how the Angst Week turned out (my work for that is called Certain Moment of Time). First of all, I doubted I would be able to write for every day, since I planned to do the whole DannyMay, but things turned out differently and I am still sad, I haven’t done many. But I did not just managed to write for all days, but all could be counted under one idea, and also each of the chapters could be read independently at the same time. It includes a little bit of background story about Vlad, about a rewritten time, his struggles at the hospital, things around Danny’s birth, how Danny managed to survive the Portal incident, how Vlad was informed about the Ghost Boy, and that actually Danny’s separation was just a ‘plan B’ that Vlad tried to avoid… it’s complicated to describe the many things in that, but when I feel WTPH an unescapable mess, and I am frustrated by the lack of proper words to finish the coming chapters, CMOT is my absolute favourite. And I love the whole idea about it. No, I’ll be honest, that’s my beloved so far (just because it’s finished). But I like so much too my idea about Dan and Dani in Bonds Over Time, how they try to live together a normal life… okay, let’s admit it, this question is mean, I seriously can’t tell, and I am thinking right now only my current ones…

20. What fic are you most proud of?

Okay, this is mean too. I am proud of my old works as much that I always go back to them when I am in a nostalgic mode. (I haven’t read any of my old ones in ages, because I try to avoid distractions, and knowing myself, I’d start thinking about the continuation and never finishing my current works at all...)

I am proud of Pitch’s Secret, because that was my very first multi-chaptered one idea that I actually managed to finish. That in fact, gave me the courage to start working on a multi-chaptered DP one. (My original plan was to be brave and aim doing eight chapters, to top the five, and I would have been very proud of myself, but instead now it’s way longer than that original idea, and I seriously don’t know when it will end – twenty chapters maybe?)

I think, if I don’t include the previous question. (It’s the same, isn’t it?) I am very proud of the first chapter in my Doctor Who fic. That doesn’t tell anything about the plot or about anything, that just gives a very good atmospheric background. Every time I read that, it gives me shivers.

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okay, I don’t know who to tag, anyone who feels like it, serve yourself, I am curious... :)

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thecandywrites · 3 years

Text

Jewel Of The North Chapter 12

Woo, I know it’s been a hot minute. But I gotta show Doug and Alorna getting their comupance because JUSTICE and REVENGE. Also, I wanted to send our little blended family on a cruise. Not just any cruise, but a Disney Cruise. Have I have been on a Disney Cruise? No. Do I want to? Yes. Did I watch three and a half hours worth of cruise videos talking about the Disney cruise ships and clubs and concierge level stuff for research? Yes. Is it crazy stupid expensive? Yes. Is this an escape fantasy from The Plague I’m living in? Yes. Also because this is a fantasy story. I’m smudging reality. Becuase those pictures are from the Disney Dream, but last I knew it was the Disney Wonder that was in Alaska. But can I leave things there? No. Because I’m a Dramatic Bitch. And I live for the drama. And yes this has been sitting in my drafts for...way too long. But a few more bumps in the road, some hurdles AND THEN happily ever after. We are getting there.

Jewel Of The North

Chapter 12

Noah’s jaw was on the floor when you came out of the bathroom in the “infamous” gold dress as Noah wolf whistled.

“Wow. That’s the gold dress eh?” Noah asked as he openly gawked at your body in it.

“Yep. It’s the “gold maneater”. Every time my kids see me in it before now, they’ve always complained, because both already have to deal with enough of the “your mom’s a MILF” comments as it is and they think it's too risque for a woman my age. I actually got this dress as a dare from Tasha who said I need a “back on the market and on the menu” dress. Blossom calls it my “get dicked down dress”.” You laughed as you struck a few poses for him as Noah had a hard time forming a coherent sentence and simply made a string of half word-like sounds along the lines of ‘yeah’ ‘mmhmm’ of agreement as he simply settled for gestures of approval and agreement cause his words were failing him.

“Yeah..that’s...that’s exactly what’s going to happen.” Noah reassured you which made you laugh even harder.

“Oh I know. It’s the last night of the cruise, I wanted to go out with a bang.” You shrugged as you slipped your shawl on.

“Ready?” You asked him.

“I uh, I’ll need…” Noah tried to hint as he tried to adjust the bulge in his pants, it had only been hours since you had sex shortly after lunch, but he couldn’t help his reaction to you and he doubted he ever would get used to you or stop reacting to you like this.

“A moment?” You guessed as you beamed smugly, happy to elicit such a reaction from him, even after you thought he would be sated, at least for a few hours but you would be lying if you claimed you didn’t want Noah to try to rip this dress off of you and ravish you- preferably after dinner because you had worked up an appetite.

Being married to your former husband, Andrew, he was ok in bed. But he wasn’t necessarily “sexy” to you, at least in looks. He meant safety, security, stability and comfort for you when you met him and married him but eventually, the spark left, the more narcissistic traits you saw and experienced and the more of an ‘asshole’ he acted and the less natural chemistry you had. He didn’t always know how to get your engine revving and keep it revving. Mentally or emotionally which eventually bled into physically.

But Noah? Oh, all you had to do was think about him and your whole body was humming and buzzing with delight, anticipation and- what you had thought was your long past dead sex drive- which thanks to the awakening it received from Noah, was very much alive and well and practically insatiable with Noah and even though you were losing count of how many times you had had sex, or made love in all of it’s forms, you hungered for more. And with just a look, a touch, or gesture, or especially warm, wonderful words and deeds from Noah and it was all over for you. He was...everything you had ever wanted or needed and you were so grateful you had waited for him because he had been worth the wait and definitely worth all the effort and he made all the bad times and obstacles and trials and tribulations up to this point- worth it and was the last piece of the puzzle and completed everything and you couldn’t wait for him to fully join and complete your family.

Once Noah “recovered” enough, you went to dinner and if Noah had thought you garnered a lot of attention in the red dress, it was nothing compared to the attention you received in the gold dress. He never heard so many ‘god damn’s’ or ‘wow’s’ or even ‘holy fucking shit’s’ from guys and even other women when you strut past, with your arm happily hooked in the crook of Noah’s elbow.

You were happy that his own gold tie matched your dress flawlessly so that it was clearly evident that you were a couple and one hell of an attractive one and you couldn’t help but notice how the women who weren’t looking at you, were staring in awe at Noah. And while you, understandably, weren’t necessarily one of the jealous types, it filled you with pride to be on his arm to show him off, cleaned up and looking like a million bucks himself and you felt so lucky to be with him.

Even after dinner, when you went to one of the “clubs” on board, it was wonderful when Noah danced with you. Andy didn’t dance and hated to dance with you even though you loved to do so and would begrudgingly dance with you at weddings, only when you begged and pleaded for him to.

Noah though? The man, thank the gods, had rhythm, and could keep up with you on the dance floor and the two of you danced really well and the chemistry you had in the bedroom spilled out everywhere else. You were so focused on grinding on Noah with his hands possessively on your hips and riding the hypnotic beats from the music to notice how Doug stared in disbelief as he watched from a safe distance while Alorna was in the restroom and felt jealousy eat him alive, that could have been him. He could have been the one to dance with the hot millionaire MILF. What did Noah honestly have that he didn’t? Was it because he was an ice orc instead of a “traditional” green one? Or was it the plane? Probably the plane.

When Alorna came back she scuffed in disgust to see you and Noah on the dancefloor cutting it up, like you were in your own little worlds as she watched how all the guys who had been staring in desire at her, were now staring at you, their jaws on the floor and their hard ons tenting their pants.

“Come on Baby, lets go back to the casino, let her have this little tiny club, I’m feeling lucky tonight.” Doug insisted to get Alorna out of there before she started a fight because he could see the fire in her eyes that she wanted to start one.

“So do I.” Alorna cooed as they strut out of there and went back to the casino and in the beginning they were winning back all their previous losses, but just like any casino, the longer they played, the more they lost until they lost even more than what they had previously won and then some.

But all of that was a world away from you and Noah.

You barely made it back to the room before Noah hiked your dress up, pulled your breasts out, moved your slimming panties to the side and fucked you into the back of the door of your room while sucking on your tits as you moaned and keened in ecstasy, to the point no one could pass by the hallway without knowing exactly what you were up to inside the room and by the time you made it to the bed, your dress was ripped, Noah’s buttons on his shirt had popped off and the room looked like a hurricane had torn through it and Noah and yourself slept like the dead, having worn each other out half the night.

In the morning, you both got the remainder of your things together and checked out of the room and were happy when even with some shopping on board, you still had left over credit and you had the cruise cut Noah the check for your surplus and just as you disembarked, you watched as Alorna and Doug were arrested by four police officers as they had tried to disembark.

“Get your hands off me!” Alorna screeched as she struggled as Doug was struggling too before both of them got tazed and pissed themselves as you and Noah gasped as you watched on from a safe distance before you two couldn’t help but snicker a laugh as everyone else watched on eagerly and laughed as they recorded it to upload it onto YouTube as the cruise simply handed them a very hefty bill, from not just their room and drinks and spa services and add ons but also a bill for tens of thousands owed at the casino.

“Wouldn’t want to be them.” You practically sang to Noah as you both laughed, watching them get their comeuppance.

“Me neither.” Noah shook his head as you both eagerly watched as they were hauled off and you and Noah got your baggage and got a taxi to the hotel you would be staying in tonight before you would have to go to the airport the next day and each of you would fly your separate ways home.

Once at the hotel you went ahead and booked the Disney cruise for the dates that worked best and went ahead and booked things for all the kids, the extra experiences and excursions you could, you wanted Sakura to have the princess treatment, and knew that Skylar, for as tomboyish as she was, she wouldn’t say no to some pampering, nor Zane for that matter as you did the same for things for you and Noah as Noah made plans of where he was going to park his plane and stuff and meet back up for the cruise before you made more plans of how you were going to move Noah and his own animals and pets and things down for the winter and when and even ordered new things to decorate Sakura’s room with because you were taking Sakura, and her pets home with you after the two families met and would hopefully, with all fingers crossed, would get along and get her on your insurances, get her in school and get her room ready for her so that moving in would be as easy and hopefully seamless as could be and even made plans so that Noah could fly his family down to see where Noah and Sakura would settle in for the winter and have a chance to have a really big, proper gosbe and merging of the two families in September as everyone in your family was eager to meet Noah and Sakura and their family too.

You spent the last night together holding each other tightly, making promises and plans as you made love slowly, savoring every nano second because it would be a while before you would have the opportunity to have this pleasure with each other for a while. The next morning at their airport, Noah waited with you at the gate since your flight left before his, not wanting to spend a single second without you- that he didn’t have to and gave you one hell of a kiss goodbye.

Several hours later, you both arrived home and while you were happy to be home, you missed Noah and Sakura especially and once the kids were dropped off at home, you sat them down to bring them up to speed with the first part of your plan and were surprised when both of them were ok and at peace with it, and strangely- eagerly looking forward to it and when they asked about the second part of the plan, of Noah and Sakura moving in with you for the fall, winter and spring and Noah working on flipping the estates while they were in school and you were at work- they were actually impressed and relieved that Noah would be “pulling weight” and working with your dad on the houses too and were more interested in the how rather than the why of the matter because they could tell that you genuinely loved Sakura and Noah and they were grateful that at least Noah was “connected” to people they knew and trusted, mainly, your father.

“Ok, I’ll be honest, I totally thought I was going to have to do a lot more convincing.” You admitted to them once you seemed to have laid all your cards out on the table to them.

“Grandpa Gru vouched for him and when Grandpa Gru talked with Noah’s dad Ukluk and Noah’s former father in law Tonrar, we were right there and got to hear most of it and we got to talk to them too and they’ve been talking back and forth ever since and Grandpa Gru has been telling us about him and Sakura and they were really nice, and we got to talk to Summer and Isla and we got to talk to Noah’s siblings, well, all of them except Alorna, who’s apparently in jail for slandering you as a priestess, which isn’t cool, but you can’t please everyone. But otherwise we got to talk to his former siblings in law too and even Sakura’s cousins who all seem really cool and they’re all pretty normal, which is a good thing. And to hear all of them be honest about Noah and his situation and especially about Neena and their relationship and how he treated her and how he treats his family as well as the circumstances of her own death and how he’s dealt with it, in particular how he didn’t turn to the bottle or any other vices, or even his own temper, impressed us, like a lot. And instead of a “sales speech” about how great he is, to hear he’s imperfect and makes mistakes but tries his best and treats the people around him respectfully and really well and has honor and a strong sense of duty and was already making sacrifices for people around him, and has similar values that we have and has a very similar situation that we have. That was enough for us. We also comprised a list of questions for him.” Xander revealed before they showed you the list.

“Aww, this is really comprehensive.” You praised as you looked it over and grinned when you already knew the answers to most of these but you’d leave it to Noah to confirm them himself.

“Can I copy this?” You asked.

“Please do.” Skylar nodded before you went to your office and took a photocopy of the list, both sides before you took pictures and then took a pen and added a third page of things they didn’t come up with that Noah had to offer and things to talk about before you copied that and handed it to them to look at before you got a call from Noah.

“Yes?” You answered when you picked up only to hear Sakura’s voice on the other end.

“Hi Mama,” Sakura greeted you sleepily as you looked at your watch and noticed that it was bed time in her time zone as you yourself were feeling quite tired.

“Hi Honey,” You greeted, your heart melting in your chest as your soul ached to be holding her again.

“Can I have a bedtime story?” Sakura asked.

“Of course,” you readily agreed.

“I gotta read Sakura a bedtime story.” You informed your kids who both grinned knowingly and were happy to see you happy before you went upstairs to the bookshelf in your kid’s old playroom and got an appropriate story to read her and once Sakura was put to sleep, you talked with Noah and told him about the list and the developments with Sky and Zane and what your dad had done which Noah was very grateful for as Noah revealed that after you had boarded your plane and he was waiting for his own, that he got a call from your dad and the two talked for a couple of hours while he waited as your dad got to have a good conversation and came to an understanding and was surprisingly sympathetic and really nice and welcoming and Noah had a really good feeling that they were going to get along just fine and when he talked with your Mom, all your mom wanted to know was about his pets and horses and what he liked to to eat and drink and otherwise welcomed him with open arms which made you blow out a breath of relief you suggested that for next year that he would probably need to put an addition to his house for everyone which he was more than happy to agree to because his house currently was only a cottage sized house, big enough and cozy enough for Noah, you and Sakura but with adding Skylar and Xander and the menagerie to the mix, not so much. And even the barn would be cramped but Noah’s plot of land was definitely big enough to accommodate your needs and it could be made to work.

In just the span of three weeks, you had turned one of your guest bedrooms into a bedroom for Sakura and worked overtime to make it perfect while also working with your dad, your brothers and brothers in law to make sure the outbuilding, aka the man cave- was ready for Noah and and looked into zoning for several acres of land to see if you turn it into a runway so that Noah wouldn’t have to rent a space at another air field and looked into commissioning an airplane hanger to be built on the property too since you had bought up the surrounding farmland.

But that time seemed to fly by and now your children and yourself were waiting in the lobby of a hotel, waiting for Noah and Sakura to arrive while you and your children all played games on your phones as they were also waiting, having brought gifts for Sakura which were in gift bags while your own gifts had been a new suitcase full of new clothes and things for them both.

While all of you were excited, you were particularly anxious because the weather forecast told you that this week was going to have some storms and you weren’t sure how the cruise was going to go if the weather was bad, but you had an abundance of seasickness medicine and other medicines, just in case. You were prepared.

Finally Noah and Sakura made it into the hotel and the moment she saw you, she let go of Noah's hand and bolted for you.

"Mama!" Sakura shrieked in delight as you readily got up and closed the distance as you caught her in your arms and tried and failed not to cry, when you got to hold her again as you kissed each other all over as Noah came over and simply kissed you sweetly before the three of you made it back over to where Xander and Skylar were still hanging out in the lounge area, gift bags in hand and friendly smiles on their faces before Sakura got down and practically tackled Skylar and Xander with hugs which made the kids laugh as Noah was holding Sakura’s gifts for your own children.

“Hi, I'm Noatak, aka Noah, nice to meet you both.” Noah greeted your kids with a handshake which they were happy to give him, staring up at this mountain of a man, kind of awe but still a trace of fear because he was still just a little fear inspiring in person but they weren’t terrified or anything. His smile and demeanor and especially his energy was friendly and while they could tell he was nervous, he seemed to radiate calm and warmth, which is what Skylar picked up on the most and just by this first impression, she was cool. Xander, was still reserving his final judgement though.

“Hi, I'm Skylar, you can call me Sky for short,” Your daughter mirrored and echoed back to him as she watched as her little hand disappeared into his much larger one.

"And I'm Xander but you can call me Zane for short too." Xander replied before Sakura happily exchanged gifts as Zane and Sky were excited to see what Sakura would get them before a discussion was held about where to get dinner at before a place was decided that was within walking distance where the kids happily walked with their gifts, eagerly talking and getting to know each other which left you and Noah to walk hand in hand only a step behind them.

“Here, you left this.” Noah said as he tried to hand you a check for the entire amount that you had left him on the day he flew you out.

“Oh no you don’t. You need to keep that, it’s our money now, who knows when you’ll need it, moving can be expensive, as are planes, I know you already had plans to upkeep the plane this winter, I just made the “how” a little easier.” You argued as you took the check and promptly tore it into little pieces and stuffed the pieces into your pocket to burn later.

“Nice try though.” You cooed to him.

“Well then the moment we get back, I need to put you on my bank accounts so that you can access it anyway.” Noah insisted.

“Only if you’ll let me do the same for you and my own accounts.” You proposed.

“Only the small ones.” Noah gently countered.

“Fair enough.” You grinned with a soft chuckle.

Over dinner the kids brought out “the list” of questions as you and Noah sat side by side in the booth while the kids sat on the other side of the table as they went down the list while you waited for the food.

“So what was your first job?” Zane began.

“Well officially, the first job I had that came with a paycheck, was actually on a fishing boat, fishing for snow crabs and just about everything else under the sun up there and that’s how I saved up my money to buy the plane. But otherwise I have been flying with my dad in his plane since before I was old enough to legally drive as did my brother who actually flies for USPS.” Noah revealed which got all but Sakura to blink in surprise.

“Well that might come in handy, there’s supposed to be storms this week on the cruise, I’ll need your help getting my sea- legs.” You murmured.

“Oh there’s plenty of tricks to getting the seasickness to abate.” He reassured all of you which made you feel better about the prospect of spending a cruise on stormy seas as he simply squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“So how did you know that our mom was the one for you?” Skylar asked which got Noah to bark a laugh for her bluntness.

“Direct, I like it, actually, she was the answer to a lot of prayers, the least of which was financial.” Noah began.

“I had been praying, ever since Neena died, so for a while now, for the right woman to look at Sakura and see a daughter, her daughter specifically and love her just as much as I do and would want to be her mother and would be an excellent mother at that and be what Sakura needed to help her heal from the loss of her first one. And have a future with her without erasing or ignoring the past and who would respect our culture and not look down on it, and would help her embrace it. And your mom did all of that and more, like so much more than I ever could have thought to hope for, much less pray for.” Noah answered as you practically glowed with pride next to him and smiled so adoringly at him and thanked all the gods for a man who finally recognized your contributions and gave you credit where it was due.

“Because she prayed with me to the same gods my first mama and all my grandparents pray to and then she showed me how she prayed to hers and we shared a lot of the same ones and she made me my summer solstice outfit, just like my first mama did, only better. And hugging her felt like I was hugging my first mama, that she loved me just as much.” Sakura volunteered which melted everyone’s hearts.

“And it became immediately apparent to me just on that first day that it was The Gods Will that everything that I packed for Taylor and her family, I packed two, and both sets made it and it just so happened that Noah needed everything that I had packed but he didn’t ask for any of it and I sincerely doubt he ever would have either. But he did appreciate it and was more than deserving of it too and while his house wasn’t the biggest or grandest house I’ve ever been in, he built it with his own two hands and he built it well and it was full of more love than anything which was very keenly felt. And I could tell that Noah took care of his house really well too, everything was in good working order, and well maintained and neat and orderly and pretty clean too. He’s been used to doing all the domestic chores along with earning an income and providing for his family just like me and trying to carry everything all by himself which is hard and a burden- I’m all too familiar with myself and he cooks really well too. So, win-win.” You added with a proud smile which got Sky to smile fondly and even Zane to grin as he sat on one side of Sakura while Skylar sat on the other side of her which Sakura couldn’t be happier about, being surrounded by her new family.

“So how did you know that Daddy was the one for you Mama?” Sakura asked you in turn.

“Well he also answered a lot of prayers for me too. So on the trip up to the Frozen Tundra, I had to take a flight and a short cruise up there and it was just non stop men with a few women too, both married, divorced, single, in and out of all kinds of relationships and it was just a barrage of mostly guys wanting to buy me every drink at every bar that they could make- in an effort to have sex with me and I was really sick of it, been sick of it for years now and I was worn down and weary of it all. Like even the spa manager on that first cruise ship tried to have sex with me so my guard was up and I figured I wouldn’t have a break from that until I got to Taylor’s house when surprise- surprise, even there, I ran into the same thing from her brother in law and the whole way up I had been praying that I would find a friend and find relief from all of that and lo and behold- Noah was there waiting for me to get off the boat and he didn’t flirt with me once on that first day or even the second and not really on the third either. He was nothing but respectful and professional to me even before I met him and after he met me in person he showed unbelievable restraint and self control which encouraged me to do the same, because the moment I saw him in person, I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on and there was that instant attraction, connection and chemistry and even with all of that, he let me just hang out and help him in exchange for flying me all over which I love flying and at the first subtle sign of discomfort from other’s advances, he didn’t hesitate to protect me and shield me from those unwanted advances from everyone else and it was such a welcome relief, like it was walking into a cool air conditioned room to rest and get replenished and feel completely safe while also feeling completely free and it was so wonderful to feel that after being in the oppressive heat all day with buzzing mosquitoes trying to suck every bit of blood and joy and peace from me they could and it was really nice and refreshing.” You began which got Noah to huff a laugh.

“That’s funny I felt the same way but kind of the opposite.” Noah said.

“I was oppressive heat?” You laughed.

“No, no, no, it was the opposite in that for me it felt like it was the never ending winter and oppressively cold, but with you- it was like getting that first warm breeze of summer, where the winter finally shakes it’s hold on everything and wishy washy spring where it’s cold one day and hot the next only to be cold the day after that- it felt like winter was finally over and once that warm summer breeze rolls in, it’s even and stable and you can trust that it’ll stay warm instead of trying to rip it away in two seconds, and you did smell like some tropical blooms in paradise, and what was really poignant, was that morning when I dropped Sakura off at my mom’s, my mom said her tea leaves told her that I would find Paradise that day and at the time I had no idea what she meant but the second I met you, it was crystal clear.” Noah explained.

“Which is why I called you Paradise at first Mama and because she showed me the tea leaves and then did some more and they told me that you were a really good mama, one of the best.” Sakura sighed dreamily as she smiled adoringly at you as you mirrored her.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” You fawned as you picked up his hand and kissed the back of it sweetly before you reached across the table to stroke Sakura’s cheek with your palm and smiled even brighter when she leaned into your touch as Zane and Skylar smiled fondly too as that seemed to cement things for Skylar especially, the gods themselves picked Noah and Sakura out for them and through destiny itself, brought them together.

“So anyway, when I first came up, when I finally got to him- others tried to flirt with me, once he observed that I was tired and uncomfortable, he shut them down and stood up for me without asking for anything in return or trying to flirt with me himself even though at the time I would have probably flirted back but because he showed restraint, I showed some too and he was generous with me without any thought of being paid back for any of it and treated me like we’d been friends for years and we just got along and we clicked on just that base- friendship level because he thought I was married and I thought he was married and we both deeply respected those boundaries and didn’t push them and when we found out that we were both widowed, it didn’t jump straight from friends to romantic, it stayed friends and it grew very organically from there and he went above and beyond for me, helping me with my luggage, helping drive half my crap to Taylor’s house, and hugging him that first night felt like hugging home, only it wasn’t a home I had known yet and it was such a relief all around and a very welcome change.” You explained.

“Yeah except, because you were that wonderful paradise compared to everything else and it’s not like I wasn’t immediately attracted to you either. You were wonderful on the phone and then when I saw you coming down the pier with a plane load of cargo, I figured you were my fare but the closer you got, the more I could see and I had every intention of meeting you halfway but once I got a good look at you, my whole body just froze and my brain shut down and my eyes got tunnel vision and I just watched completely bewitched as the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life who looked like paradise incarnate, coming down the pier and so that’s why I just stupidly stood there and stared at you like an awkward teenager and then when you saw me, smiled politely and turned and called me and pulled me out of that daze, I almost said ‘sorry, we don’t get too many drop dead gorgeous women up here’ but that would have been incredibly unprofessional and inappropriate and my mouth has never worked that smoothly with my brain and then when I was driving you to the plane and I’m seeing every sailor, every passenger, every guy with a pulse stop, stare and do a double take, I thought I needed a warhammer strapped to my back and I thought I was going to be fighting all of them off just to keep you safe because we may live in a polite- modern society but that can change in a hot minute and I had to hide behind my sunglasses and I was terrified something was gonna happen to you and so I had to call Taylor and voice my concerns to her because again, didn’t want to be rude to you and told her that you needed a bodyguard and she told me to volunteer basically before she laughed and hung up.” Noah confessed.

“Really?” You and the kids all laughed in delight, grateful that there was that instant attraction and chemistry.

“Yeah, so like I just had to put myself on my best behavior because I did not want to mess up anything with you.” Noah explained.

“Well obviously it worked.” You reassured him.

“Plus when I met Sakura, I had the most overwhelming mothering urges towards her, like every instinct in my mind and body was telling me to love her and take care of her and do everything in my power to make sure she was ok and help her in any way I could, whether it benefited me or not. And when I got to hug and hold her for the first time, it was like I was holding you guys after I first gave birth to you. That ‘there you are, I’ve waited so long to finally meet you and I’m gonna love you forever.’ feeling.” You repeated and even now Noah still got misty eyed just thinking about it as Skylar had her arm around Sakura and hugged her tight too.

“And that’s exactly what I prayed for.” Noah repeated.

“And then to know that he wasn’t a stranger or just some guy- but to know that it was Grandpa Gru’s old airforce brother from another mother, that- that- was his dad and that our families had actually been old friends before my dad had moved us away, that if my parents had stayed we would have grown up together and probably would have been friends starting then too. And the fact that Taylor also vetted him for me, and that Taylor knew him and knew his family too so that I had not just that childhood connection but also have that mature adulthood character reference and his reputation alone was outstanding and the fact that he not only respected me but respected my profession too which is a really big deal, especially for me, when so many think it’s an invitation for solicitation, but not him, he recognized that it was, not just my bread and butter but actually my calling and was really helpful and supportive.” You mused.

“Well and likewise, because you were the first client since Neena died that didn’t haggle me or look down on me because I was an ice orc and a pilot and you didn’t treat me and my family like tourist attractions which has happened a lot before and you respected me and my profession which also went a long way too.” Noah confessed.

“Yeah, being objectified sucks, we just get objectified for different things. I’m actually worried that’s gonna happen on the cruise, that you and Sakura will get patronized because you’re ice orcs and get roped into posing for other guests who think you’re part of the experience.” You confessed.

“Nah, I wouldn’t, if Sakura and I brought our native regalia, maybe, but since we didn’t, I doubt that’ll happen, I don’t think people will care enough to notice us because usually we get ignored everywhere we go that isn’t home where we know everyone.” Noah reassured you.

“But, back to what we were talking about, the moment you came into my life, suddenly money was the last thing to matter to me, all that really mattered was Sakura and you, and making sure both of you were ok and taken care of and most of all safe.” Noah professed.

“Aww, I had the same feeling but especially for Sakura, like I knew you would be ok and could take care of yourself and I knew Sakura would be ok as long as you would be successful so making you as successful as possible so you could continue to care for her became my immediate goal. Which is why once I found out that your competition was undercutting you to steal your already limited pool of clients, I felt I needed to try to help any way I could and it ended up working out really well. And what worked out even better was that all the money that I made that first day, even when I went and didn’t expect to make any money at all, I spent helping you even more so that it was in no way a burden and the more I gave and the more I helped, the more blessing and happiness I got in return and the blessing didn’t stop at you and Sakura, it went to your family and Neena’s family too and even the clans, despite Alorna and Doug’s attempts to sabotage that because the seeds and things I brought from the lower 48 that I barely spent anything on- ended up getting split up and going to all the clans and it all got used and appreciated which is, at the end of the day, what matters.” You added.

“And it proved to everyone what a fine woman you were that even in the face of deep disrespect and sabotage that you kept your cool and kept your composure and were classy and gracious and respectful and still honored the clans and the council, which was the right thing to do, it wasn’t easy and I didn’t make it any easier on you either.” Noah confessed.

“How did you make it hard?” Zane asked with a frown.

“I took her concession as her giving up on me and Sakura and it wasn’t that at all, she was in her own priestess regalia and in regalia, she has a code she needs to abide by and I didn’t take that into account or consideration at all and I, very wrongly jumped to the conclusion that she was giving up and I will probably regret that mistake till the day I die.” Noah readily confessed which impressed Zane and Skylar that he was humble enough to admit he made a mistake and owned up to it and didn’t sugar coat it or downplay it but was actually very factual in his recounting which was very honest and forthcoming, which they respected and admired.

“Well you need to forgive yourself for that, I know I have, and beating yourself up for a mistake won’t get you anywhere.” You comforted him with another squeeze of his hand.

“No but it sure did teach me some humility and the lesson to not to jump to conclusions and to actually talk things out and figure it out instead of just emotionally reacting.” Noah gently countered.

“And it taught me to explain myself before misconceptions and misunderstandings happen because the difference in culture is still there.” You allowed.

“Huh,” Zane hummed and shrugged it off.

“But that’s still a really good thing that you would admit that you were in the wrong and obviously you apologized and tried to make amends and that you’re humble enough to admit that you were wrong and learned lessons, even as an adult.” Skylar praised.

“And what an apology it was.” You grinned cheekily which got Noah to blush and smile bashfully.

“It wasn’t just sex was it? It was an actual apology right?” Zane pressed.

“Yes, it was an actual apology, like, crying, on his knees, begging for forgiveness and admitting fault and promising to do better and then following through with actions.” You reassured Zane.

“And then yes, sex.” Noah took a chance and teased Zane which got Skylar to snort a snickering laugh as Sakura giggled too as Zane just sighed tiredly and resigned himself to this even though secretly he was relieved that it was Noah that you had chosen, or the gods rather, because now that you were in a serious relationship, his friend’s dads would hopefully now be deterred and stop drooling over you already.

“Yeah, I guess that’s inevitable and part of a healthy, committed monogamous relationship right?” Zane returned, trying to be cool about it because he could tell Noah was being harmless, in his joking and appreciated the gesture and could humor him.

“Yup, very healthy,” You nodded.

“And very committed and monogamous.” Noah nodded in turn.

“So have you ever killed anyone?” Skylar asked which got you and Noah to laugh because she just- came in from left field with that one.

“No, I have killed many animals though, for hunting purposes because hunting and trapping is legal and absolutely necessary if you’re going to live up there.” Noah answered.

“What’s the biggest thing you’ve killed?” Skylar asked.

“A bull moose that was just over 1500 pounds, getting that thing to my plane was the hardest thing because you have to dress it in the field and carry it out in pieces and carry it out quickly before the wolves and bears get wind of it. But thankfully I was hunting with my dad and my brothers and brothers in law so we all helped and we got a few moose that day, it set up the families for most of the winter actually.” Noah began before he recounted his other hunting expeditions and by the end of dinner, Sky and Zane seemed happy and satisfied with Noah’s answers to his questions and Noah in turn got his own questions about you and them, answered too.

You went back to the hotel and you tried to “ease” everyone into this by getting two hotel rooms, one for Noah and Sakura and the other for your kids and yourself, but they were right next to each other and had a door from one to the other that you kept open and once the kids got dressed to go swimming in the hotel’s pool and Noah got to see you in a bikini again, he nearly lost control and had to actively remind himself that not only was Sakura around, but your own children and the guests at the hotel meant he couldn’t just scoop you up and fuck you against the closest surface. The bikini wasn’t even all that “sexy” it was actually modest compared to most but your body in it was giving every ounce of will power he had a run for its money.

“Did you miss me?” You cooed to him as you caught him staring at you as you laid out the kid’s towels down over the sun chairs as you taunted him by wiggling your butt just enough to make it jiggle a little.

“You have no idea.” Noah returned huskily as he simply came up behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you flush to him to pin his hardening cock to your backside and left the most salacious kiss on the side of your neck, your knees almost buckled from under you as you dropped your own towel on the ground as your whole body betrayed you and you were ready to rip your bikini off of your frame and offer yourself to him poolside.

“Fuck.” You cursed under your breath as it was suddenly unbearably hot in the sun, because Noah had practically set you on fire with just that little touch and kiss.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” He teased you.

“You keep pushing it and this will end in one of two ways, I get away from you so I don’t fuck you in front of the gods and everyone- right here, right now and scar the kids for life or you can figure out a way we can both sneak away for five or ten minutes so we can get our own private business taken care of.” You offered as you bent at the waist to pick up your towel and to feel his shaft tried to spear the cleft of your ass as it laid against the length of it.

Thankfully the kids soon made friends with the other kids swimming at the pool and Noah and yourself did manage to “sneak” into a family’s restroom.

That door was barely shut and locked before Noah ripped your bottoms off as you barely had a chance to step out of them before he picked you up, pinned you against a wall and entered you roughly then started up a very earnest and powerful rhythm as he kissed you like a man starved while you clung to him like a lifeline while you tried to stamp down your whimpering keens and feeling rejoined was feeling like you were whole again.

“Gods I’ve missed you.” You confessed between scorching hot kisses.

“Missed you too, my hand has been a poor substitute.” Noah confessed which got a giggle to bubble from your throat.

“Likewise.” You returned as his hips snapped forcefully into yours and the pleasure was almost overwhelming, after three weeks of just talking on the phone, seeing him again in person, the magic and the sparks and the chemistry was still there, if anything there was more of it. That three weeks had felt just as long as the two years between losing Andy and finding Noah to begin with and it was crazy how in a month, what once was a stranger was now the center of your life and the same could be said for Noah.

But at least you had all the texts, phone calls and emails. And thankfully Noah had been busy with his business while you were gone, having practically worked nonstop once he got back. And you talked to both him and Sakura at least once a day, especially at night, reading stories to Sakura to put her to sleep and then talking to Noah about his day after putting Sakura to bed. And sometimes it was just decompressing or heart and soul bearing conversation and other times it turned into some really amazing phone sex. But none of it held a candle to the real thing and way faster than you were expecting, you came in a shuddering keen, nuzzling your face into the crux of his neck and shoulder while your fingertips dimpled into the meat of his shoulders and back and it took less than ten pumps later before Noah finally let loose himself and pumped you full of his seed, a growling groaning moan as he simply pinned you against the wall and held you tight and nuzzled his face in the juncture of your own neck and shoulder and breathed in your scent deep into his lungs, feeling anchored by it because now, that he had you in his arms, he didn’t care about anything else. Everything else seemed so far away now.

By the time you made it back out, Sakura was on Zane’s shoulders as he and some of the other kids there were playing chicken and didn’t notice that you and Noah had stepped away it seemed as you both slipped into the warm water and swam around until the sunset and you finally got to go back to the rooms where you happily put Sakura to bed, snuggling with her in her bed as you read a story from your phone to her as Sky and Zane got ready for bed in their own bed across from you and watched on fondly before they fell asleep after Sakura did before you happily crawled into bed with Noah, made love and then fell asleep in his arms, finally sleeping well for the first time in weeks and Skylar and Zane didn’t have any issues with it in the morning which was a relief for you and Noah.

Before loading the cruise ship you had Noah take you and your second set of luggage and a huge crate of gifts for kids, all of Sakura’s cousins on both sides of her family since you and your kids had insisted on also getting gifts for their soon to be cousins and loaded those up on the plane so you wouldn’t have to worry about those gifts getting dirty or damaged before they could reach their recipients and your kids got to explore Noah’s plane which they thought was really cool, Skylar actually did summersaults down the cargo hold as Zane sat in the cockpit and eagerly looked at all the controls and was asking Noah about what each one was and did which made you happy as Noah promised that after the cruise, he would let them fly the plane for a few minutes on the way home which made them really happy and excited for. Which made you so excited to see everything again, but instead of the eyes of a visitor but from the eyes of a soon to be local.

Thankfully you got onto the cruise ship early because you were in the concierge royal suite and not surprisingly, Zane and Skylar seemed to make new friends right at check in, some of them had even been at the hotel the night before and even Sakura made new friends too which gave you some relief that she wasn’t being left out or ignored. Skylar and Zane could make fast friends wherever they went when they wanted to and for a week long cruise, they could do so freely to make the trip more enjoyable and Skylar and Zane had gifted Sakura a little notebook to write down all the names of all her friends so that once they got on board they could send each other gifts and “pixie dust” to other guests which Zane and Skylar insisted that all the kids staying in all of the handicap rooms on board get pixie dust in particular which damn near made Noah cry because of how thoughtful and inclusive they were to include them as Sakura also agreed to do the same which made you particularly proud. You had also spent the last three weeks making sure that you would have all the extra touches and flourishes that would make the cruise memorable and special for everyone.

Once you were invited to board, you got your pictures taken and then it was announced to the welcoming crew that the Kintucks and the Kingsleys were arrived which Sakura thought was really fun and once onboard the concierge lounge on the ship, you got each of them the program for the cruise and your highlighters out and brought out the list of things you had already put into your agenda, like princess makeovers and royal tea service for the nights you would be going to Rapunzel’s Royal Table for dinner where it was basically Disney’s version of “formal nights” as all five you got to have your choice about activities for the cruises.

Noah, unsurprisingly, was happy to just be along for the ride. Sky and Zane were really looking forward to all the kids clubs and since this was Sakura’s first cruise, much less a Disney one, she was just eager to experience everything she could as Skylar and Zane were equally eager to share the experiences with her while you were eager to have some good proper alone time with Noah because your suite had two huge whirlpool tubs, one for the master and one for the kid’s room and while you brought plenty of bath bombs for the kids, you also brought some for yourself too along with some amazing lingerie just for Noah’s enjoyment, as all of you tried to get used to the rocking of the boat.

“So...what’s that trick to getting your sea legs?” Zane asked Noah as you could tell from his expression that he was getting a little queasy as he sipped on his ginger ale.

“Ok so back when I was on a fishing boat, what we would do is we would fill the hold up with sea water, get our gear on, as if we would go overboard and we would take turns throwing each other into the holding tank, like throwing each other as high in the air as we could, with more flips and twists, the better and when the body gets thrown around like that, it’s forced to re-calibrate itself and even in a really bad storm there is always a rhythm to the waves that your body gets used to, we would barely be out of port and we would start doing this, usually on the third throw, maybe the fifth throw if you’re really bad off, you’re good to go, now the biggest trick is when you get back on land, your body will still want to follow the rhythm of the sea and you can get “land sickness”, which is getting sea sick sitting perfectly still, but again, it’s the same trick to get out of it.” Noah explained.

“So you yeet us basically.” Skylar grinned excitedly.

“Yeah, into the pool.” Noah nodded.

“Yes!” Skylar cheered which got Noah to laugh as he looked around casually and noticed something...odd.

“Hey, not to be a worry wart but we might have a problem, 8’oclock.” Noah murmured to your family as he looked around casually again which got everyone’s ears to pick up.

“What?” You asked, as you instantly looked around yourself before you noticed the family in the direction Noah alluded to before your own stomach dropped.

“They’re looking at Zane pretty hard.” Noah realized.

“Ah, fans, this happens quite a bit, hopefully they’ll be cool and not swarm me.” Zane muttered in resignation.

“Cause of your YouTube channel?” Noah asked.

“Most likely, they don’t look like the ballet following type.” Zane answered.

“If they come over and bother you- do you want me to get rid of them?” Noah offered casually.

“Uh, well, there’s no reason to be rude, but yeah if they get bothersome and hound me, please do.” Zane answered, happy and relieved that Noah would even offer before the family couldn’t help it and came over.

“Hey, are you Zane Kingsley, with King’s Snakes?” Another boy asked Zane as the family from across the lounge had been staring and gawking at Zane the moment your family had been waiting to board the ship and Noah noticed Zane plastered on that same, forced polite smile you did that first day when that whole tavern tried to buy you drinks as Noah looked from Zane to you to see you did the same thing as Skylar didn’t bother hiding her annoyance at the intrusion while Sakura looked on curiously as she ate her snack.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Zane reluctantly confirmed before the whole family seemed to gush and fawn and geek out that they met a “celebrity” on the cruise before they all got pictures with Zane as Zane humored them and gave them autographs while he tried to keep it about the snakes, asking if they had any and was happy that they were looking to buy one soon.

“Oh my goodness, look at us being so rude, are you vacationing with your family?” The mom asked.

“Yup, that’s my mom Zara, my sister Sky, my soon to be stepsister Sakura, and soon to be step dad Noatak.” Zane introduced which brought a more genuine smile to your face.

“Oh wow, you guys are ice orcs aren’t you?” The dad asked.

“Yup, we’re from the Sungilak tribe too.” Sakura volunteered.

“Oh that’s so awesome, do you mind if we get pictures of you guys too? We’ve never met ice orcs before, you have such beautiful coloring.” The mom tried to flatter.

“Sure.” Sakura agreed before she smiled really brightly for them as you and Noah shared a meaningful look before the family seemed satisfied they left you alone.

“Gods, please let that be the only time that happens.” You muttered to Noah worriedly as you squeezed his hand as you walked the halls to your suite to get changed into your bathing suits since the luggage that wasn’t your carryons had already been delivered.

You all got to your room and just as the other guests were boarding, Noah took the lifeguard aside and explained what he was about to do to you and your family and got special permission to do so since he would be throwing you guys much higher and farther than would normally be allowed but they trusted Noah for his word and his experience.

Skylar had never screamed more gleefully in her life, even on roller coasters, she didn’t squeal so loudly and Sakura did about the same and Zane even let out a shout or five as you marveled at Noah’s strength in not only picking you up but throwing you just as high and just as far as the kids but it worked like the charm it was. Then Noah jumped and did flips in the air to calibrate himself to it and once done, all of you happily went back to the room to fully settle in and get ready for the sailing away party as Sakura got to be on your shoulders while Skylar requested to enjoy it on Noah’s shoulders and was happy to be the tallest in the crowd that was gathered.

The first two days of the cruise were perfect, everyone got to have all their fun events that they wanted to go to and no one had issues with seasickness at all and you and Noah got to fully reconnect and Noah loved the lingerie and loved getting it off of you in record time too while the kids were in their kid’s clubs and do a lot of crafts in the oceaneers clubs.

The third day however, the storms hit and thankfully you were in the middle of the ship so you didn’t have to have deal with the bow going up and down with the waves, but the winds and rains hitting the glass of the veranda was the scariest thing you had encountered on the sea as all three of the kids huddled close to you in your bed as Sakura was squarely on your chest, Zane was under your right arm and Skylar was under your left and Noah was on the other side of Skylar as Noah simply smiled fondly to see you comforting all your children through the storm and was relieved that none of you were faring badly because of the seasickness as you all huddled together under the blankets during the worst of the storm.

Then after that, the storms passed and things went back to normal however, for the rest of the cruise, your family soon garnered more and more attention every time you left your cabin as Zane got an exorbitant amount of attention and “pixie dust” from just about all the kids on board because the news of “a celebrity” had traveled fast and even Noah and especially Sakura was approached a lot too, to the point that Noah actually did have to intervene and remind the other guests that you were all on a family vacation and that if they wanted pictures with ice orcs, to get them on shore with the others who were actually dressed to cater to tourists but that he and his daughter were not part of the attractions themselves and that Zane was also on a private family vacation and appreciated his privacy which Zane had never been more grateful and thankful for Noah to do as Skylar was more adoring of him in those moments than she had been yet because usually you fiercely protected Zane from “fanatical fans” but with Noah, he was the best deterrent yet and she had immediately claimed him as her step dad and had instantly started calling him "Dad" which Noah got used to pretty quick as Zane had to get a second piece of luggage to pack all of the “pixie dust” from the cruise.

Then when you got off the boat with your luggage, Noah flew you back to your family’s new home away from home, to meet his family which your kids thought was the coolest thing to be flown in and all took turns in the cockpit with the head gear and help steer the plane and then the kids happily loaded themselves into the back of the pickup truck with their luggage and thought the Frozen Tundra was really, really pretty, with the mountains and the greens and the swaths of wild flower blooms in the other fields and you had them also pack gifts for their soon to be cousins as well, making sure that all the kids were accounted for and prayed that the kids would like the gifts as you went to Noah’s house first to unload all your luggage as Zane happily poached stickers and other items from all the “pixie dust” that he got form all his “fans” on the cruise and added them to the gift bags for a special Disney touch to them.

You were never more relived to see Neena's family with the Noah’s family again as they still gave you the same warm welcome that they had done last time and Sakura was so proud to introduce her new siblings to all her cousins who were thrilled to get presents as you and Noah watched on, as Skylar of course, wanted to wrestle with her new boy cousins while Zane was content to simply sit and talk with his new girl cousins as they all happily played with their new things of slime happily around the card table in the game room.

“Ok, you guys can wrestle if you want but here are the rules, no broken anything, no broken noses, wrists, elbows, knees, ankles and obviously necks, we don’t want to take anyone to the ER today, that kind of thing. No pulling hair or braids or anything like that, and anything that a bathing suit would cover is off limits and of course, honor the tap out code and only displays of good sportsmanlike conduct is allowed. And boys, if you’re not cool with a girl like Skylar getting the best of you and beating you, don’t wrestle with her in the first place. She’s had a lot of formal training. Skylar, only match what you’re about to be given, no ganging up on anyone, lets play fair, one on one or two on two or however it has to go to be even. No breaking furniture or windows or anything like that, let’s be respectful of each other and the space. No trash talking or anything like that.” You specified, making sure you made eye contact with all of them before they all eagerly nodded their agreement.

“Ok, have at it then.” You agreed before you backed away before it descended into controlled chaos.

“Does that happen a lot?” Isla asked as she sat next to you on the couch with Summer as you all watched as Skylar happily started pinning each one down to the ground as all the boys were beyond happy and excited that a girl was willing to play this rough and could go toe to toe with them and they didn’t have to worry about holding back to keep from hurting her cause she was one tough cookie.

“Yeah, now don’t misunderstand, the two of them could just as easily switch places. And at home, Zane is Skylar’s workout and sparring partner so he knows everything that she does martial arts wise and in school he was the one to restrain her when she would get in fights in school so he knows those holds better than she does. But he prefers to make interpersonal connections through talking. Skylar, is obviously more physical and they’ll both bond to everyone else, just through different means. And Skylar, is actually a really gifted, graceful dancer and Zane can do all kinds of lifts with her and it helps her keep her own balance in the martial arts, but she prefers the skin on skin contact and getting to know each one by playing like this.” You explained before you watched Skylar actually kick one particular boy cousin off of her with so much power he practically went flying backwards about 10 feet, a few feet off the ground as Zane saw him coming and pulled the other girl cousins out of the way so they didn’t get pulled into it and hurt as the boy got up and laughed and dove back in as the other fathers watched their sons play fight with amusement as the other women were puting the finishing touches on dinner as Noah had never beamed with so much pride at seeing Skylar seem to take on two at a time with ease and judging by all the bright smiles on all the faces of the kids, they were all definitely having fun.

“So how was the cruise?” Noah’s brother Nago asked from the pool table.

“Uh, it was a mixed bag honestly. The first couple of days were awesome. Then word got out that “a celebrity” was on the cruise and then it wasn’t so great. Zane has a YouTube channel about breeding ball pythons and he’s only ten but he’s already making money as a breeder and he’s actually really, really smart when it comes to their care and genetics and medical care. And so, because of that exposure, he gets recognized a lot and he got recognized on the ship and he signed more autographs than Mickey Mouse did. It was insane. And it got to the point that he had me step in and remind these people that he wasn’t at an expo, he wasn’t on this cruise for any kind of publicity but he was just on a private family vacation and it’s a good thing I have a mean glare to keep them at bay but it was the same people who objectified Sakura and I the whole time, thinking because we were ice orcs that we were part of the cruise and the experience too, that wasn’t cool and Zara showed her claws a few times trying to keep Sakura safe and not hassled either and the staff of course was really cool and understanding and helpful. And then of course we had those storms roll in and it got pretty dicey a few times and if I had not done the water tank trick on all of them and myself, all of us would have been sicker than a dog that whole time. But even with all of that going on, Zara never faltered once. She was amazing and kept everyone safe and together and having a good time and to Sakura, she just thought it was the best family vacation she had ever been on and thankfully didn’t think the attention she got was a bad thing as Skylar warmed right up to me and loved it that I was bigger and taller than anyone else on board and loved to sit on my shoulders to watch all the shows that weren’t canceled due to weather. Zane is of course reserving judgement which I can’t argue with or find fault in. So, like I said, mixed bag.” Noah surmised.

“Well of course it wasn’t going to be perfect. Nothing ever is.” Ukluk noted.

“No, I wasn’t expecting it to be but I just wasn’t exactly expecting what we got either.” Noah muttered as he continued to watch Skylar closely to make sure she wasn’t getting hurt before she put one of Sakura’s cousins, Kako into a choke hold.

“Hey! Kako! Tap out, she’s gonna make you pass out buddy.” Noah suggested as Suka laughed at how his son was being put into a choke hold as Kako never looked happier to be in such a state.

“I’m good!” Kako tried to say as he waived off his uncle in between trying to squirm out of the hold only a minute later he went limp into a pile on the floor before Skylar let him go and rolled him over with the help of his siblings and other cousins as they all cheered that she had knocked him out before they clamored for her to do the same thing to them.

“Really?” Skylar asked.

“Yeah!” They insisted before Skylar looked at you and then to Noah and the other dads for permission.

“Go for it!” Nago, Yakone, Tonrar, Dave, Max and John all encouraged her.

“If that’s what they want, go for it Sweetie.” Ukluk laughed and gave her the nod before she beamed and outright tackled the rest of them until she had all the boys passed out on the floor around her and stood and caught her breath and appraised her handiwork while Noah and his brothers and brothers in law and his father and father in law all give her high fives and teased that she needed to come over to their house for sleep overs to do that to their sons that night for bed.

“If this was two hundred years ago, she would be getting marriage proposals left and right for that.” Isla practically cackled to you which made the rest of you laugh with her.

“Yeah, most of the boys at school already view her as this little warrior goddess as it is. And she’s only 8, just turned 8 too, I can’t imagine what she’ll be like at 18, but my rule is, no dating while in elementary, middle or high school. If you want to date in college that’s your choice but nothing before that.” You insisted.

“Ooh, that’s gonna be hard, especially up here, most are matched before high school graduation.” Isla grimaced.

“Well then she’ll be one of the few who aren’t as will Zane, and Sakura. Because they’re children right now and they should focus on being kids, having fun, enjoying hobbies, learning life skills and school. Not anything romantic, they’re still growing and developing and maturing for their age, romance should be the last thing pushed onto them.” You insisted.

“Agreed.” Noah practically boomed from across the room which made you smile even brighter as Skylar then joined Zane’s group and met all the girl cousins and sat next to Sakura and put her arm around her.

“Can you show me how to do that?” Sakura asked Skylar.

“And me?” The other girls chimed in.

“Yeah sure, wait for them to wake up first.” Skylar said as she nodded over to the boys who were still passed out before their mothers came down to get everyone.

“What happened to the boys?” Samantha asked worriedly, seeing her sons passed out on the floor.

“Oh Sammie, you should have been here! So the boys found out that Skylar can wrestle, asked her to put them in choke holds which she did! It was the single coolest thing I’ve ever seen.” Nago laughed giddily as he went over to his boys and picked up their arms and let the arms drop.

“The boys...asked for this?” Samantha repeated.

“Yeah, and of course I was cool with it and gave her permission too.” Nago insisted.

“We all did.” All the guys insisted.

“...ok. Well dinner is ready, and they need to wake up for dinner.” Samantha insisted before all the guys murmured their agreement and woke up their sons who almost jolted awake.

“Hey bud, how do you feel?” Suka asked Kako.

“I feel fine, that was really fun!” Kako beamed happily.

“Good, I’m glad you had fun, time for dinner.” Suka insisted as he helped his son to his feet before all the other boys as they all happily got up and went upstairs and happily told their mothers all about how awesome Skylar was and how she plays just as rough as they do which made their mothers happy to hear that they were getting along and you and Noah were finally relieved that this time, things were going much smoother.

#Jewel Of The North #Jewel Of The North Chapter 12 #ice orcs #jewel orcs

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alexstandoll · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions!

Tagged by: lovely @closetfascination 💙

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Ten.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

146,767 i suck at longer chapters.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I’m posting/writing 2 fandoms in ao3: Bohemian Rhapsody RPF and 13 Reasons Why, with a few crossovers. But I was posting in fanfiction.net years before which was mostly Final Fantasy. And in my previous writblr @benhardypout-archive where I’ve also wrote for other fandoms aside from the aforementioned, like: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and 6 Underground / G.I. Joe Retaliation crossover

I actually only write in a certain/random fandom (which happens rarely) when an idea strikes. I can sometimes be random.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Who’s The Boss (borhap rpf)

Stalker Angel (borhap rpf)

accismus; (13rw)

Yin & Yang (13rw)

Getting Over (borhap rpf)

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Always. Though there are times that I failed to.

Why? Because comments gives me life. lol and it’s my way to show my appreciation and gratefulness to my readers.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Eternity.

But there’s this one I’ve written back when I was in highschool, which I’ve posted in fanfiction.net. (although my writing was a trash back then lol) But I rarely write angsty endings, even though most of my fics have touch of angst in them.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I’d say accismus; Though I always liked my endings to be happy. aha. cause why the hell would I write a story only to end it tragically? jkjk

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’m like a sucker in writing crossovers lol but I think it would be:

should he call it fate? a 13 reasons why / plan B crossover

Four Meet Mouse a g.i. joe retaliation / 6 underground crossover

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Unfortunately. There’s one who tried to make fun of one of my chapters of a certain fic. I can consider it hate as they’re being rude and sarcastic.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes, but not raw smut. idk what kind. lol. idek what kind of smuts are there. I just write smut as fitted in my fic.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Luckily, no. It’s not like my fics are that interesting to get stolen. XDDD

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I never have any confidence.

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

It’s safe to say I HAVE A LOT! I multi-ship some characters and I can’t even decide which one I like best.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have published unfinished fics. 💀 But there’s this one borhap fic that’s been in my drafts for years and I can’t ever finish. 😭 it’s a eugene!joe x walter!ben au.

16) What are your writing strengths?

hmm... idk tbh. maybe... romance? lol i always write shipfics after all.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Conflicts. 😓 And how to resolve that conflict.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it’s interesting especially if one of your characters can speak other languages. For example, I’m mostly writing 13 reasons why atm and my fave character is Monty and I believe he speaks Spanish but idk Spanish so... I think adding a mix of other languages as dialogue would really add to the character. But I’ve never actually written one. And I wouldn’t dare myself to, so to avoid misconception of the certain language.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Final Fantasy

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

There are a number actually, some where mentioned already: Four Meet Mouse, (un)Typical Christmas, Two Eves, Yin & Yang, Should He Call It Fate?, In Peril, I’ll Protect You With My Life

But as of now, my favorite is what I’m currently writing: As Luck Would Have It

I tag: @stephanythedramaqueen ; @heybuddy-drabbles ; @imsnny ; @thosequeenboys 💙

#personal #!tagged #13 reasons why #bohemian rhapsody #final fantasy #tmfu #thanks so much for tagging me! 💙

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silyabeeodess · 3 years

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So... Last night, I read the Balan Wonderworld novel. It’s... something. It's not bad--I did enjoy it and it does have its moments--but there’s bits that don’t really seem to work as well as they could’ve and they can add up. To avoid major spoilers, like last time, I’ll put my thoughts below the cut, so be warned:

Most of my concerns are issues with the individual characters, but I’ll start by talking about the book itself first. Because there are so many people and themes in it to discuss, with the plot covering every stage and each of the residents’ backstories, you have to move through events quickly: We don’t really spend enough time with any of the characters to know them beyond some basic traits and what they need. Fine for a game and with visuals, sure, but not so much for a story. Things can feel like they’re moving a bit too fast, which I can excuse because of the large cast number; however, the writing only amplifies the problem and makes it feel like the book is being padded with wasted, repetitive dialogue that takes away from the story. I want you to imagine taking the 12 Days of Christmas and turning it into a novel--not with the things divided up into each individual day, but each chapter repeating all of the other days that came before it. It’s stale, it’s droning, and you as a reader will just end up skipping through material after a while. The book does this through the visions the characters share of Balan and Fighter/Emma, with Streetbeat/Leo and the residents each having them with slight differences in-between. As you meet each individual resident, one by one, they repeat a lot of the same things over and over. Not only that, but then you have to loop back through them and their stages a second time as Leo saves everyone. It’s not quite as bad as my 12 Days of Christmas example, but it does get to the point where you’re ready to say, “I get it! Your lover gave you calling birds, hens, doves, and a partridge--please, just move on already!” There are such easy fixes to this issue too, like having characters already meeting in each other’s stages to cover them together, maybe summarizing the differences in their stages to set up Leo’s expectations before he sees how distorted they become later on since he’s going to have to visit each one anyway. Instead, time is wasted that could’ve been spent on descriptions or building the characters in other ways.

I think the one character that suffers the most because of this Fighter/Emma. Because she’s placed in the story with the same mystery as Balan and viewed as a villain by the rest of the cast up until the end, she’s constantly being sidelined even though she’s a main character. She’s used more-so as a plot device for Leo, running off to do her own thing when she’s no longer needed, and then gets no conclusion where all of the other characters do. It’s like that meme where a person asks, “What about Emma?” and everyone just repeats the question dismissively as an answer. Again, I get it, we’re following Leo’s story here just as we would only be following one of them in the game, but it’s bad to keep dismissing her all while using her as a necessary key to saving everyone else. I guess it’s implied at the end that the Wonderworld gang might seek her out too, as they did with each other, but she’s barely a footnote. Balan and Lance suffer a little bit too, but do make enough satisfying reappearances that it’s not as much of an issue.

I kind of want to avoid talking about the writing style further, as I can’t help but wonder how much might be more of something like a translation issue; however, I will say that if you plan on reading this with a young reader, be ready to explain some extensive vocabulary to them. The style itself isn’t very flowery, the book isn’t a heavy text, but there are some words they won’t understand that can’t be deciphered by using the surrounding text. Like I said, the book doesn’t have a strong focus on description: Moreover though, there’s not as many illustrations paced through the book as you would imagine based on the preview. You end have having to rely on what you already know going off those first images at the start of the book introducing the characters or if you’ve played the game. It’s not a big thing, but I can see it being a small problem if you chose to read the novel alone. I tend to lean toward styles with heavier description in both my reading and writing though, so that might be a bit of my personal bias as well. Some of you may prefer it as it is.

Now getting on to the individual characters... Oh boy, is there some stuff to go through. Let me start with the one I’m actually a little uncomfortable with, as her actions affect some of the other characters as well in major ways: The Clocktower Kid/Cass Milligan. Throughout the story, we’re given clues that she has a big crush on Pensive Perriot/Attilio Caccini--who, as most of you likely already know--is in love with a woman who works with him at his theme park as a princess. By the end of the book, it’s revealed that there’s a near decade-long gap between when the two stepped into Wonderworld and that Cass is the princess... Thankfully, Attilio showed no interest in Cass as her child-self and this means that they’re actually close to the same age, but let’s unpack the assortment of other problems this brings up. 1.) This goes beyond a childhood crush with someone older that most people get over: The girl devoted a decade of her life to getting the princess role so she could be with the guy. If it was a year or two between teenagers, that would be one thing: This borderlines obsession. 2.) She knows who Attilio is from the beginning and waits for him to confess his love to her before revealing her identity. She says it’s because she didn’t want to risk messing up the timeline, but her own actions could’ve done exactly that had the princess role been meant for literally any other girl on the entire planet. She didn’t know that she was meant to be the princess: All she knew was that she wanted to be with Attilio. 3.) Either Attilio just kind of accepts all of this or, again, the pacing won’t give us some much-needed details, because the next thing we know we’re getting to their engagement and honeymoon months later. Keep in mind: While she waits a decade for him, his confession takes place barely a few hours after he leaves Wonderworld. I think the guy would need at least a little time to process everything. 4.) While the book seems to stay close to the game’s canon from what I’ve seen, this particular relationship is handled even weirder in its cutscenes. For one thing, it’s not revealed that Cass is the princess. For another, despite this, we see her with Attilio anyway as her young, childhood self--granted, without any big hints to a romance between them. I’ll let you dissect what you will from that.

Let me get to The Checkered King/Cal Suresh next. In the novel, a couple of the characters had their backstories tweaked. These changes don’t interfere with what we see from the game’s cutscenes, but they do add more context to them that changes what particular issues the characters are suffering through. In Cal’s case, his obsession with his champion title in chess led him to ignore his dying wife, adding an extreme sense of guilt and longing that wasn’t there when we believed this was just a matter of his pride and sense of identity alone. Enter Cass, who reappears in her timeline before this death takes place, finds out who Cal is... and apparently does nothing to warn him. We can use her timeline excuse, but this is someone’s dying wife we’re talking about--she even sees him grieving over her in an illusion as they’re all leaving Wonderworld. Even if no one could do anything for Mrs. Suresh, even if Cal didn’t listen to Cass and dismissed everything she had to say about wasting precious hours better spent with the people you love, I think an attempt at talking to him would at least be necessary. No though, the book just ignores that while the two of them and Attilio eat snacks together.

Cal isn’t the only one who had the added trauma of death: They did it to The Watcher/Sana Hudson too. In her case, she was trying to protect some endangered birds that were killed--both directly and indirectly--by the construction workers in her area, leading her to despise humanity for its “greed and selfishness.” Now, her situation/feelings is/are perfectly understandable, especially given how the construction workers in the story are portrayed. What doesn’t really work is the context surrounding the issue and her actions involving the event. Now, I admit this first point is a bit weak as I can’t speak for the regulations across every country and we don’t know exactly where Sana is from, but a lot of places have heavy regulations and work with big organizations to protect endangered species. Not to mention this is a bit of a heavy topic with much-needed context for a book like this to properly cover. This fact isn’t even glossed over though and the workers have no problem cutting down the birds’ tree despite how this would likely cause massive legal trouble for them and be a major deterrent as a result. As to the “greed and selfishness of man,” this doesn’t really work well considering that the workers are trying to build a residential area. A cost to the environment? Yes. However, it was likely ordered for the benefit of the community. We see this debated a little more evenly in the conclusion to Sana’s story; however, we’re also pretty much told “Yeah, humans are terrible and can never change. Pick birds over them,” beforehand. Lastly, Sana’s own actions--or rather, lackthereof. When the birds lose their tree, their eggs are destroyed and the parents stay behind out of their love for their deceased offspring rather than leave for winter later on, resulting in their deaths. To try to prevent this, Sana begs the birds to leave... Let me repeat that: She begs the birds to leave. The problem? They’re birds. They’re animals. And, outside of the theatre, this is supposedly a world just like ours. You can’t reason with a bird like a person. She could’ve just as easily tried to capture the birds and brought them somewhere safer herself or called someone who would. If that didn’t work, at least those actions would make a lot more sense for the hatred she feels towards other humans: Instead, this decision makes their deaths kinda her fault too for leaving them there despite knowing what would happen is she did.

I don’t know how I feel about the added issues involving death. Yes, there’s a lot surrounding that theme alone to cover, but part of Balan Wonderworld’s charm is confronting all these people with extremely diverse problems, some stemming from issues beyond their control and some their own, internal struggles. The inclusion of death might have made the consequences of events more traumatic, but I think to a detriment. It doesn’t affect Sana as much, but Cal’s case is the worst, as his wife’s passing echoes the regret and mourning we already get from The Lady/Iben Bia’s story when it could’ve been it’s own, independent thing focusing on pride, identity, and a sense of fulfillment that we see more in his game counterpart. I can’t help but feel that we miss out on a wider range of messages by emphasizing on the aspect of death so much.

Lastly, let’s get to Balan and Lance. Overall, I greatly enjoyed the twist at the end with the connection between their characters. The problems I have with them, honestly, I debate whether or not are even problems at all as they do address real concerns that perfectly fit what individuals in their circumstances would go through. First Lance, then Balan, they’ve spent a millennia helping others repair the imbalance in their hearts. People come, people go, and they’re left behind, forever alone in that that theatre. It would be crushing. Lance already broke under the weight of that pain, which is why Balan exists--and now he’s likely doomed to continue the cycle as he suffers this same degree of loneliness. My main issue is that there’s so much to cover about this that we’re barely given a teaspoon of. The author couldn’t really give us much, as this book’s main focus was on Wonderworld’s inhabitants. It feels though that there’s something being built-up that we might not ever get to see completed depending on how successful the franchise it, which is sad if that’s the case. (Hey though: That’s where we fans usually step in, right?)

Secondary to that is that there’s a level of hypocrisy to Balan, Lance, and how they engage with the inhabitants. I kind of love it, but this is where I’m a little conflicted since Balan is supposed to be the one helping people fix their hearts. Two general themes that carry over greatly among all of the inhabitants is the importance of love and friendship, how we rely on others to grow and save us from the worst of ourselves. Balan, however, is required to stay detached from others no matter how much it hurts or what it will inevitably lead to, as everyone must leave Wonderworld eventually. It’s a conflict of interest. Ironically enough, it’s Lance’s decision to trap Leo in a stage and his overwhelming longing for true connections that allow the inhabitants to find and help each other. It’s bad that Balan and Lance couldn’t take the lessons they gave others and apply it to themselves, because their situation is so extreme.

Furthermore, there’s a hypocrisy between Balan and Lance in their decision to wipe the inhabitants memories. It’s revealed not to be a magical phenomena caused by the theatre itself once people leave it as many of us thought, but rather a conscious choice Balan makes--just like Lance. However, while Lance does it to keep the inhabitants contently trapped inside their hearts, we’re not really given a reason for Balan’s actions. Memories, good and bad, are a vital piece of us: We reflect on them as we grow to maintain the lessons we learned in those moments that make us who we are. We see the danger of lost memories not just with Lance, but with Balan as well as part of Sana’s conclusion alludes to a potential relapse. It was her connection to the people she met in Wonderworld that allowed her to recognize one of them--Eis Glover--back home and keep her grounded in another, potentially shattering instant of her life. Similarly, Leo only managed to restore his imbalance because of his friendships with the other inhabitants--friendships he was destined to lose the moment he walked out of the theatre had Balan taken everyone’s memories. This too, I feel, could’ve caused Leo to relapse. If so, Balan’s choice to let them keep their memories of Wonderworld likely prevented them from needing to come back to the theatre--at least not as often as they may have needed to otherwise. Let’s get to the question Lance brings up at the end: “Honestly, enough with the self-deception. You normally take everyone’s memories when they leave, so why this time did you make an exception?” It could be that Balan simply didn’t want to be forgotten anymore. It could also be that he loved them enough that he didn’t want them to suffer to the extent where they had to return to the theatre even if it meant there was a chance he wouldn’t see them again. That idea would beg a second question though: Why did Balan erase the memories of every inhabitant who came before them? (If it isn’t obvious by now, this scene was my favorite bit in the whole book.)

I know this whole post seems to be mostly a series of complaints, but I did enjoy the book overall: I just have a tendency to look at every detail and, when things don’t work, they stay in my mind for a long while. Like I said at the start, the novel isn’t a bad read, it just has some bad points. If you’re already a fan of the game, you’ll probably enjoy it too. If not, I’d recommend checking out some of the other content available--like the video previews/cutscenes introducing the characters--before stepping into this.

#balan wonderworld #bww #video games #novel #novelization

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wickedobsessed101 · 3 years

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Fanfic Writer Asks

[SOURCE: criminal-minds-fanfiction: Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!]

I’m answering all of these b/c I love Q & A’s about my writing, both for my fics and other things.

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction? It was 2013, so I was 14 years old. I’m now almost 23.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one? I’m mostly in the Wicked Musical fandom, but I like to read for other fandoms, like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Chronicles of Narnia, ect.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer. OCs, but I’m more than willing to create an OC for someone based on characteristics they give me.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for? I love me some fluffy romance and hurt/comfort, but I also love some angsty drama.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi-chaptered stories, which would it be and why? OMG, don’t make me choose! They’re all my babies! I love all my children equally! They all hold special places in my heart.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why? Goodness, most of my stories prior to 2017, because I was in high school and had no idea what I was doing because I was just getting my feet wet with writing.

7) When is your preferred time to write? Anytime really. The latest I’ve stayed up writing a fic was 4AM. *Glares at ‘Threads of Truth’*

8) Where do you take your inspiration from? Where ever it happens to come up. I’m not picky. Movies, music, people I’ve seen on the street, random thoughts that enter my head, anything.

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote? In ‘Threads of Truth’, it’s a tie between Villy’s first date, and an argument that happens in an upcoming chapter. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind? In ‘Play The Game’, I liked the epilogue ending that I gave Elphaba with her family, even without Fiyero. I like writing her with kids. Another ending would be with the Fiyeraba still together, but I’m satisfied with the ending it has.

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it? I’ll go back and fix typos that are pointed out, but I don’t change plot stuff. Like, I wrote what I wrote and I will amend my technique in future stories.

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why? Other than my OCs, because I get to fully create them and my lowkey babies, I’d have to say G(a)linda. She has so much potential and she’s so much fun.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why? Boq. Not because I hate him (I don’t!), but because I don’t normally know what to do with him. If he’s not with Nessa, he’s literally just standing there like a brick wall. No offence, Boq!

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories. [Ask me about a specific story(ies)]

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names? I usually change consonants and vowels to already existing names, or add unnecessary letters because... reasons.

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx? [Ask me about a specific story]

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on. “Hopefully, this will soak up any more leaks.” (Upcoming Wicked fanfic)

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? Yes, 2. Both of them are a few years old and I’ve grown as a writer since then. Maybe one day, I’ll edit them and repost, but not anytime soon.

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to? Not everything can have a sequel, y’all! XD

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently? Yes! Around 60% of them.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire? @vinkunwildflowerqueen @raven-curls @mylittleelphie @weaselspeedfanfic Ultimate Queen of Cliffies

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it? This goes back to Question #6; most of what I posted prior to 2017.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? Silence. I need to focus.

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes? I can’t write it. They’ll make out, and then be pregnant in the next chapter. Y’all can do the math for yourselves.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story? YES! Yes, I have! Both sad tears and tears of joy. I’ve also cringed from second-hand embarrassment at the things the characters do and say. I’m not in control of their actions all the time. Sometimes they tell me what they’re gonna do, and I’m like, “Well, alright, then.”

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write? [Ask me about a specific story]

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? I write bullet points of things I want to happen in a chapter on the Word Doc, or in the story as a whole, and I try to keep those bullet points in order. And the Notes App on my phone holds a lot of my ideas, and sometimes full scenes.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction? That I’d become obsessed with writing and continue doing it for almost ten years, as well as expanding to writing plays and musicals.

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like? Yeah. I’m not gonna say which one, but just know there’s one... or a few.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? Yes, and I’m still not gonna say which one(s). I want all the love!

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec, not the answerer) Yeah, sure!

32) Are any of your characters based on real people? Yes. Villy Doiir from ‘Threads of Truth’ is based on 4 people I know in real life, all mixed together into one wholesome, mother figure/ mentor. Perhaps that’s why I like writing her so much.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? All reviews keep me going, no matter the length. But I love it when people review saying that they picked up on little references that were really just for me. It makes me feel like we’ve shared a moment.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten? A guest reviewer once said, “You tend to write Fiyero as an abusive person”. It wasn’t harsh, just... NOT TRUE. Especially for the story they were reviewing.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest? Close to my chest. I’ll share it with the world when I’m ready.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s? NOPE! You’ll just have to wait and see! LOL!

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written? I... really don’t know. My stories all have their funny moments.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it. I’m very busy, and collabs aren’t really my thing, but I’m always willing to lend an extra pair of eyes pre-posting.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person? I’ve written one story in the first person and it was fun to get into the character’s head, but I love third person, cause I like knowing what everyone is thinking. Second person makes me feel a certain way and that don’t really like.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction? IRL, no. It’s not something I bring up over dinner. I’ll talk about my plays and musicals, but not fanfiction. I like keeping my fics for the online peeps and my more personal writings for the RL peeps.

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written? My OC, Princess Hannalyn, from ‘A Royal Romance’. She was so much fun!

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx. I haven’t done a song fic.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it? Not fully, but they’ve had little inklings, but certain details were still a surprise. And I’m not mad about it.

44) What is the last line you wrote? “I don’t want this to be the last time we see each other.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process? When I’ll have one idea, and it spirals into many others, and when the characters write themselves. It makes it so much easier for me. Sometimes they tell me that they’re about to make a bad decision, and I just go along with it. They need to learn and grow somehow.

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it? [Ask me for a specific story]

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about? [Ask me]

48) What’s your favourite trope to write? I love a good Royalty AU (not fully AU ‘cause of our princey-prince, but still) and Holiday AUs. And I’ve never written a Coffeeshop AU, but I LOVE reading them. I’ll read anything. I’m not picky, and I love to see what ideas others have.

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about? Yes, and both of them were Gelphies: 1 - “Easier Said Than Done” by mecelphie - It’s part of a long, wonderful series of Elphaba and Glinda together at Shiz and how their lives evolve together and has many lovable OCs. 2 - “The Thropp Diaries” by denpa wave chick saki - It’s first-person Elphaba POV of the book. It expands on lots of mentioned moments and we get to journey through Elphaba’s thoughts.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? I’d have to say fluff, so I can get my escape from reality. But it’s hard to write pure fluff without a little bit of conflict.

If you wanna read my stories, they’re all right here: Fae’sFlower

#wicked the musical #wicked #wicked fanfiction #fiyeraba fanfic #faesflower #Q & A #Fiyeraba #gelphie #Elphaba #Fiyero #Glinda #Galinda #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction.net #let me tell you about my writing and my stories #writer #Q & A with Nia

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ot7always · 4 years

Text

Fractured (part 1)

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Word Count: 2.8k

Pairing: OT7 x Reader (platonic); future Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst, fluff, (future) smut

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of violence including murder (non-explicit). Mentions of sex (non-explicit). Mentions of drugs, guns, neglect, physical abuse, parental death. Toxic household, implicit mentions of mental illness (depression).

Rating: 18+

Summary: You’d always known something was strange and different about your “family,” but it wasn’t as though your environment encouraged curiosity from you. You thought you wanted to know all the answers, but nobody ever told you that the more you learned the more pieces of yourself you would leave behind.

A/N: This is my first story in this fandom, and I haven’t written anything for any fandom in years. This plot came to me all of a sudden last night and I decided I needed to write it. Please let me know what you think!

Masterlist

You used to be naive.

You were 11 when you first held a gun.

12 when you first made every shot through the centre of the target.

13 when you first noticed the fathers’ proud eyes rather than empty ones.

14 when you first defeated one of the boys in a spar.

15 when you first learned the details of why this was all necessary.

16 when the boys last saw you smile for real.

17 when you first participated in a mission, knuckles bloody for the first time.

18 when you first gave yourself to a man, only to later drug him and strangle him in his sleep.

They say ignorance is bliss, and you can’t help but to agree. Knowledge is not always power – you understand that better than anyone. Because the day you sought more knowledge was the last day you might have considered yourself truly happy.

“I said no. You’re not going anywhere.” The man looked at you, stone-faced in the doorway to his office. You had sought him out for permission to attend a classmate’s birthday party, but already regretted trying. It wasn’t as if you were ever allowed to go anywhere but school and back, escorted by the man’s driver.

Your neck had to crane upward to give him the pleading looks that often worked on his wife, but to no avail. With your head barely reaching the man’s waist, his cold stare had your six-year-old heart pounding, tears filling your eyes.

“But-“ you started, however it appeared there was no room for negotiation. The door was slammed in your face, door rattling in the frame. The noise was enough to make you jump, hands rising to wipe away the wetness that you could no longer hold back after being denied again.

Wanting to hide under your covers for the rest of the night lest you run into the man again, you turned around but instantly collided with another body. Gasping, your eyes immediately fell to the floor, hands falling to your sides.

“I’m sorry,” you uttered with as clear of a voice as you could manage, unwilling to invite the anger of another in the household, especially not the other adults. But the response was not one you expected.

“Y/N?” a soft voice questioned, reaching for your trembling hands. Your eyes rose to meet those of Namjoon’s, who only looked at you with more concern once he properly saw your state. His eyes swept over you quickly, assuring himself you weren’t hurt. He was only a few years older than you, but he worried for you greatly. “What happened?”

Hearing a kind voice after such an icy rejection only caused you to cry harder, stepping forward to wrap your arms around Namjoon’s waist, head buried in his chest. He accepted you without hesitation – it isn’t as though this is the first time this has happened. His hand rose to rub at your back, his warm touch calming you down some. But still, you did not offer an explanation. You knew the rules in this house, and it was your own fault for wanting more, after all. As you begun to pull away, still seeking the safety of your bed to avoid the rest of the world, Namjoon’s hands remained on your shoulders.

“Did my father say something to you again?” he questioned, sympathy in his gaze. You breaking eye contact was answer enough for him. And while he wished he could do something more for you, approaching his father about this would only invite him to unleash his anger on both of you.

Instead, he grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with your own. When you peered at him inquisitively, he was glad to see that while your eyes were shiny and nose runny, you were no longer crying. Unwilling to let you mope for the rest of the day, he begun leading you away.

“I’ll make you some pasta, okay? I’m sure you haven’t eaten dinner yet,” he said, continuing the long trek from the upstairs rooms down to the kitchen.

While no, you hadn’t eaten, the last time you ate Namjoon’s pasta you ended up throwing up into the toilet hours later. But unwilling to reject his kindness, you allowed him to seat you at the dining table as he looked for ingredients in the fridge. You had planned to sit and watch him quietly, until you felt somebody collide with you from behind, arms wrapping around your neck.

“Y/N! We need one more person for Mario Party!” an excited voice yelled right by your ear, making you wince. After giving you the appropriate 0.3 seconds to formulate a proper response, hands begun shaking you at the shoulders hard enough to whip your head forward and back.

“Taehyungie…” you started, ready to deny him, unsure if you could handle the raucous of three young boys yelling at each other for stealing stars.

“Pleeeeeease! Please please please pleaseplease,” he begged, rocking your smaller body back and forth in the chair. His enthusiasm had you cracking your first smile since returning home from school.

“Y/N! We’re waiting for you!” a softer voice called from the living room. While you had been thinking about denying Taehyung, you never would’ve been able to deny Jimin. While mischievous, he had never been anything but kind to you growing up, leaving a huge soft spot in your heart for him.

Namjoon let out a small laugh from the stove, where he was stirring a pot that seemed to be letting out a suspicious amount of smoke for what he claimed to be pasta.

“You’d better join them or you’ll never hear the end of it,” he chuckled, giving you a wide grin when he saw you looking significantly happier than before. He was thankful that even if each of their parents might give you a hard time, at least you had seven brothers who only wanted to make you happy.

By the time you were ten years old, you had grown to accept that your life would not be like the lives of your classmates. You would not bake cookies at other girls’ houses, you would not join the after-school volleyball team, and you would not walk with friends to the ice cream shop down the street from school. That isn’t to say you hadn’t been invited. You had, years ago, but a child can only be told no so many times before they stop trying. After all, who wants to ask a question knowing the answer will always be rejection?

You were friendly with your classmates, but they knew you were some type of untouchable. You heard the whispers. She says she likes us, but why won’t she hang out? Why does the same car with tinted windows pick you up everyday? Why were you always alone on Parents’ Day?

While others had always wondered about your life, nobody dared to ask you. Whenever anyone mentioned family, the friendliness stopped. “It’s none of your business,” you would always answer, ending the conversation then and there. If your teachers ever tried to get information out of you, you would tell them not to worry. You always had an excuse for your parents not being there.

“They’re away on a trip.”

“My mother is ill.”

“They need to work during the day.”

The staff at school thought your parents were government officials, and you had likely been instructed not to talk about it. They were half right – your entire living memory you have been instructed not to talk about your family or your living situation no matter what.

It was easy to lie about why your parents weren’t there when your parents were dead. After all, who was there to refute your claims when the only family you had to speak of wasn’t even related to you by blood? The seven young boys – teenagers now, you supposed – had always been close to you, but you weren’t family.

No, you had been told that your parents were business associates of the seven families, but they had unfortunately died in an accident shortly after your birth. Unwilling to send their friends’ newborn to an orphanage, they instead took you in and allowed you to live with their families, where they raised you.

If raising you was the right term. In fact, many of the boys’ fathers ignored your existence. Namjoon’s father seemed to loathe you, though you didn’t think you did anything to cause such hate. However, you supposed that since he was not a kind man to his own son either, you could not complain. He was the head of the household, after all. You didn’t dare anger him, preferring to keep out of his way than to risk his booming voice and hard gaze.

It was not an ideal life. This much you understood, after seeing your classmates boast of their grades to their parents, happily shoving their report cards in their faces. When you see fathers raise their sons above their head, making obnoxious noises and pretending they’re an airplane, something deep inside you mourns something you’ve never had. You’ve never laughed at your father’s jokes, nor picked out an outfit with your mother.

It was not an ideal life, but at the very least you had the boys. They were perhaps the only people you could ever call a friend. They were loud and annoying, but also the only people who made you feel that you had a home.

By the time you were eleven, you had become curious. After all, every television show you’ve seen only had one family in one house, sometimes two. Seven was unheard of as far as you knew, and your adolescent brain with a newfound passion for science and mystery novels needed to know why this was. Of course, nobody could know about his goal of yours. This was top secret.

It started with casual eavesdropping. Before, you had tried to avoid the men in the house at all costs. Their serious looks scared you, and though the majority never specifically targeted you with their anger, you dared not risk it. However, you knew the men of the house frequently gathered behind closed doors, sometimes their wives too. It almost seemed like a business meeting, based on the dramas you’ve seen Seokjin watching in his spare time.

It was surprisingly easy to sneak around in the house, considering your presence was ignored by most. Even the maids didn’t look twice at your antics, knowing how teenagers always seemed to play weird games.

It was difficult to listen well, and you didn’t want to risk getting caught. You’ve only heard snippets of conversation, but it was enough to raise suspicion. The words you’ve been able to catch recently – “mission,” “warehouse,” “armed,” had you furrowing your brows, but what confused you most was “Bangtan,” or what you thought was Bangtan. You didn’t know what that meant. But what surprised you most was how often the others boys’ names seemed to come up, particularly Seokjin and Yoongi, the two eldest.

Your sleuthing continued through the weeks, but the words were hard to hear and you didn’t gain much from it. In fact, you considered giving up and trying to figure things out based on what you already had, but you figured one more try couldn’t hurt.

Perhaps you should have stayed in your room. Not that you knew now whether that could have helped you or not.

On one Wednesday after school, you returned home quicker than normal, traffic having been light for some reason. You figured you may as well use the opportunity to listen to any conversations that might be going on. After all, you made it home earlier than expected, so perhaps nobody would think you to be there to hear anything at all. Not that anyone paid attention to your schedule at all.

So there you sat – squatted, more accurately – outside Namjoon’s father’s office. You heard two muffled voices inside, but could not place who the other belonged to. What you did not expect, however, was to hear your own name coming from their lips.

“We’ve waited long enough. Y/N is useless right now, a liability more than anything,” a gruff voice said. The domineering tone itself told you it was Namjoon’s father, even if you couldn’t see anything at all.

“She’s still young-”

“And your son was years younger than her when he learned of everything. Stop babying her.”

Hearing a conversation centered around you was definitely not the norm. You leaned closer, hoping to hear better, but that was your downfall. Your shoulder brushed against the door – barely a touch at all, but enough to shake the door, and clearly noticeable to the men inside. Before you could even think to stand up, the door swung open, your eyes meeting those of Taehyung’s father like a deer in the headlights.

You felt as though your chest was going to explode, bracing yourself for the worst berating of your life. Would they kick you out? Would they hit you?

“I-I’m sorry,” your voice trembled along with the rest of you, “I thought I heard my name and I was curious, I promise I didn’t mean to,” you let out all in one breath, flinching and preparing yourself for the yelling, the fists, for anything.

What you didn’t expect was laughter. Namjoon’s father’s laughter, to be exact.

“The choice has been made for us,” he declared, directed toward Taehyung’s father.

“Sit.” he instructed you harshly, gesturing toward a chair across from his desk. There was just enough distance between you and him to feel that you were miles away. It made the man seem even more powerful than before.

“Do you remember what we told you about your parents?” he said as he fixed his stare on your wide eyes, more a demand than a question. You nodded, afraid a verbal answer would only get caught in your throat.

“Then you know we were in the same business,” he continued. You nodded again. This is the nicest he’s ever been speaking to you, and that had you relaxing some.

“You see, the boys here are all involved in this business as well. That is their responsibility to their family. Their duty. And it is time for you to fulfill your duty as well. This is what your parents would have wanted, and it is what we need from you in return for sheltering you all these years,” he went on, taking in your expression. The confusion and wariness must have been apparent on your face, because he kept on without waiting for a reply.

“You will train. After school for four hours everyday. You will become part of this business. The boys will help you,” he stated firmly, and you clearly knew these were not requests. These were commands, and you had no place to deny them, despite the questions you wanted to ask. You turned your head to look at Taehyung’s father, who had been one of the only people in the house who treated you as human. He nodded at you reassuringly, hiding his own hesitation well.

“Yes, sir,” you managed to get out, the first words you’d spoken since you entered the room. Even those were a struggle considering your shock.

“Good. You start tomorrow. Now leave.”

And train you did.

You were 11 when you first held a gun.

12 when you first made every shot through the centre of the target.

13 when you first noticed the fathers’ proud eyes rather than empty ones.

14 when you first defeated one of the boys in a spar.

15 when you first learned the details of why this was all necessary.

16 when the boys last saw you smile for real.

17 when you first participated in a mission, knuckles bloody for the first time.

18 when you first gave yourself to a man, only to later drug him and strangle him in his sleep. That was the first night you’d made yourself vulnerable in years, sobbing into Hoseok’s arms lamenting what you had done.

19 when you finally seemed to earn the respect of Namjoon’s father.

19 when you finally seemed to realize you would never be happy, never hold a real job, never get a real education.

You were no longer just part of the house, invisible to the powerful men and their wives who lived there. You had skill, talent.

No, you were no longer just a thing. You were a weapon, an asset. A tool to be used.

But a tool can only be used for so long before its shine fades.

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#bts fanfic #bts series #bts x reader #bts mafia au #ot7 x reader #yoongi x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fic

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abreathofthewild · 4 years

Text

And They Were Roommates, Chapter 2/?

Summary: After the events of Endgame, the Avengers try to regain a semblance of normalcy. Steve Rogers decides to move to a small town, get a regular job and a regular roommate…

Word Count: 3709

Warnings: mentions of alcohol. aftermath of a break-in. mentions of blood (small amount!). suggestiveness. eventual warnings for traumatic flashbacks and ptsd. eventual warnings for smut.

Notes: Hello friends! As promised, Chapter 2 of And They Were Roommates is here. I had a ton of help from @gothiclocalcryptid who went above and beyond proofreading and editing with me so HUGE shoutout to her <3. It was so much fun writing this chapter, especially since I got the inspiration to somehow double the word count?! My essays could never. Thanks for reading and I hope y’all enjoy!

Links: Chapter 1

The physical act of getting out of bed two hours later was nearly impossible. You could care less if you fell into a hole and never came back out. Even the sun rising, soft and golden over the skyline, and the smell of freshly ground coffee beans serenading your senses didn’t really improve your mood.

“Not to be rude, but you look like death warmed over.” The second opening barista, Vanessa, almost never minced words. This morning was no exception. You shot her a playful glare as you followed her to the back, throwing your bag and jean jacket into your locker as she placed another tray of crescents in the oven. “Long night?” The question was followed by her handing you an iced coffee with heavy cream, just the way you liked it.

“How’d you guess?” Your question and expression dripped with sarcasm. “Steve--”

“Steve. Steve! If I hear this story I know I’m going to feel like kicking his ass.”

You gathered your hair into a ponytail and sighed, taking another long sip of your drink. At 6:30, customers were starting to file in, but the early birds were sporadic; it wouldn’t get really busy until about 9 or so. Your face lit up as you greeted the older woman who had walked up to the counter, and she frowned as she heard the tail end of Vanessa’s sentence. After making her latte with no foam, you proceeded to set up extra pastries in the display case and wipe down the countertops.

“Look. He pays half the rent, and we never specified we couldn’t bring people to the house. But sometimes, he decides that 2 AM is a good time to bring home… guests.” You didn’t need to bring other people down to get your point across. But... there was an underlying feeling there you didn’t want to acknowledge. Sure, these girls were gorgeous, but they seemed so… fake. Maybe they didn’t seem fake, so much as not right for Steve. Vanessa saw the excuse me expression manifest on your face as you warred with the thought. You proceeded to tell her how the rest of the young woman’s visit had gone. “...And now he’s picking me up when I get off.” You decided to leave out the part where you walked in and he had watched you watch him. The part where your heart had stuttered so hard in your chest you knew the super soldier could hear it. The part where his mouth so close to your ear had sent a shiver tripping down your spine.

“Earth. To. Y/n.” Vanessa’s mouth was agape as she waved her hand in front of your face. “Girl, where the hell did you go just then? Is there something you’re not telling me? I mean, what could be better than finding out that Captain America is taking my favorite coworker on a date?!”

“It’s not a da--”

“Ah! Ah! Don’t interrupt me! What could be better than finding that out? You’ve despised his cocky attitude. He brings random girls home all the time. It’s not very considerate. He knows he’s too beautiful for his own good and he shows it. Yet, despite being woken up like two hours before you had to get ready for work, you’ve gotten surprisingly peppy the longer you’ve been here. Could it be… No.” Vanessa gasped as a huge shit-eating grin plastered itself on her face. You eyed her warily while the sudden feeling of being totally exposed washed over you. “Could it be you like him?” You shook your head vigorously. Nope. No way.

“Um, no? You just gave me a bullet list of all the things to dislike. I’m sure he was different… before… We all were. He is a hero. Always will be. But he’s at a different point in his life now. I haven’t seen the good guy side of him in person.” Your mind skipped over his smile in the photo on the mantle. “He’s a cad!” You said in your best British accent. Vanessa glared at you in playful disbelief.

“Sure. Okay. I’ll play along. Do you even know where you’re going? Do you have anything to change into?” She emphasized the last question like it was the most important thing in the world. You shrugged your shoulders. In all honesty, the only thing you could focus on that morning was to throw some makeup staples in your bag as you had stumbled out the door. She closed her eyes and let out a quiet sigh. “It’s all good. I’ve got something. I always keep a dress in my car, just in case.”

“Vanessa, you’re too much,” you giggled. “I don’t really wear dresses. He sees me like this every day. It’s not a date. He’s taking me out as an apology. If he can’t deal with me in jeans and a t-shirt, that’s his problem, not mine.”

“You’re with me for another six hours, and I can be very convincing.”

Sure enough, 12:45 rolled around--the two mid-shifters taking over for you two having already clocked in--and Vanessa was pushing you into the employee bathroom to change. You applied some mascara, tinted chapstick, and slipped into the dress. The white cotton felt like heaven, and the v-neck did everything for your curves. You made a mental note to attempt to get something for her that could pay her back. After you let your hair down from the ponytail that was starting to give you a slight headache, you stepped out and grabbed your bag. When you came around front, Vanessa stopped dead in her tracks.

“Ay, Dios mio! You’re gonna make me regret wearing that dress after you, ‘cause I know it won’t look that good on me.” She hooked her arm in yours as the two of you meandered to the front of the coffee shop. “Are you nervous?”

You turned your head sharply in her direction. Were you nervous?

“No, why would I be?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “I am still 100 percent convinced this is a date. I would be nervous. What time is it?” You glanced at your phone screen. The numbers read 1:06. A slight flutter of uncertainty pinged around your chest. That first thought of this is stupid… I’m stupid. You shook your head to clear it.

“Let’s go outside and wait. It’s so pretty out today!” It was. There were exactly five tables and chairs outside, and luckily, the one that sat under the dogwood tree was free. It was tucked farther in the back, closer to the building, with an unobstructed view of the street. These factors all made for good people watching. One considerably long conversation later, which had been punctuated by periodic glances at your phone under the guise of checking the time, Vanessa finally hopped up from her seat, planting her hands firmly on her hips as she leveled a stern look at you.

“Uh-uh, we’re not doing this. He proved whatever point needed to be proved. You’ve got better things to do with your time. There’s a new little Mexican-Korean fusion place down the street that I’ve been dying to try. We could drive there faster than you can walk home!” She held her hand out to you, and amidst the usual ‘I’m sure something came up’ excuses you were making for him (making excuses for him--what even was that thought process), you decided to take her lead on things. It wasn’t exactly like you were surprised but it still felt like a rock had been dropped in the pit of your stomach. The afternoon sun was now beating down on the two of you, and an air-conditioned building sounded so good.

“I do have to go home at some point though,” you intoned on a sigh. “It’s gonna be awkward. Probably. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll act like nothing happened.”

Vanessa scoffed. “Unlikely, but some good food and a couple of margaritas will be sure to help that anxiety float away.”

“Nessa! Day drinking? I’m simply scandalized.” But once again, Vanessa was right, and after a Korean Lime Margarita and some excellent Kimchi street tacos, you were in high spirits and ready to take on whatever awaited you back at the house. Vanessa offered to give you a ride home, but you opted for the fresh air and the walk since you were about twenty minutes away. It would give you time to clear your head.

The sun was still out in full force, but a lively breeze had come about so that by the time you turned off of Main Street onto Pine Street, you felt as if you were walking on clouds. Steve had better things to do with his time than to make sure your feelings weren’t hurt. You were a grown woman and he had apologized last night. And if he had been rude today by not shooting you a text letting you know he couldn’t make it… well, it wasn’t unexpected coming from the Steve you knew.

You were so engrossed in giving yourself a pep talk that you got up to your front door, key in hand, without noticing that the door was in fact already open. Immediately the hairs went up on your neck. Something was off. Your breathing came out a little bit fast and shallow. Where was Steve? It was the first thought you could latch on to. He wouldn’t be home. Right? If somebody had broken in he would have made fast work of them. Maybe you were being silly. Should you call out for him? Should you even go inside?

You stood frozen on the doorstep, keys in hand as a makeshift weapon, until you heard noise coming from inside. It sounded like someone was sweeping up broken glass. A sigh of relief escaped your lungs when you finally stepped over the threshold and made your way past the living room and into the kitchen. There was Steve, the door to the backyard open and letting in the breeze. The first thing to catch your eye was the cabinet door hanging on one hinge. The second was all the broken glass. There was so much of it, probably from the dishes that had fallen out of the broken cabinet. Steve was sweeping it into the dustpan. The third thing you noticed was when he finally realized you were there, and he turned to you on a dime. You took in his face; it was flushed, and a nasty open gash was slowly bleeding down the left side of his face.

Time stopped for a moment as the two of you watched each other. The light coming through the west-facing kitchen window was golden, slanting in such a way that it hit Steve’s hair just right, setting it alight. At first, his expression was uncertain. Then his eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, as he realized what he had missed. He turned and threw the debris into the trash can he had dragged to the middle of the floor. His movements were slow, deliberate. You set your bag on the hook next to the open door and walked over to the sink, grabbing a cloth and wetting it down.

“What happened?” You heard him take a deep breath behind you. “Steve, sit down. Let’s take care of that cut.” It was surprising that he did as he was told, the second-hand oak chair creaking under the size of him. You moved slowly as you walked towards him, sensing that whatever had happened was a big deal; the normally-outspoken super soldier seemed at a loss for words.

When he was sitting, it gave you the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be looking down at him. He was still tall, only a few inches shorter in this position, but it was a different perspective nonetheless. The clean washcloth you had wet down felt cool in your hands. The sensation was the only thing keeping you grounded when you stopped in front of him, stepping between his knees to get a closer look at the wound. You bit your lip as you concentrated, softening the dabbing motions when Steve hissed at the contact.

“This should be healing, shouldn’t it?” Your voice was much quieter than you intended it to be. “Do we need to contact S.H.I.E.L.D?” He shook his head and closed his eyes; you had full opportunity to study his face. The beard had been a nice addition, you thought absently. His eyelashes were fanned out across his cheeks. Who had eyelashes that long? It was a bit ridiculous. His lips were pursed and quite involuntarily you wondered what it would be like to kiss them. A lock of hair had fallen into his face, and as you brushed it back, carding your fingers through the dark golden crown, his hands flew up to grasp your hips.

The motion startled you, but you were rooted to the spot. His hands were big, and the gentle motion of his thumbs made your breathing hitch. This was dangerous territory that definitely felt like it was coming out of nowhere. You weren’t equipped to deal with something like this. The heart behind your ribcage was thundering, thumping so hard you were sure it was going to give you away, betray you, and the emotions suddenly washing over you.

“I don’t need to contact them. Just a break-in that I wasn’t expecting. I chased him off. Normal life’s left me soft,” he finally gritted out in a quiet baritone. His hands were still splayed on your hips, and it took everything in you not to lean into the touch. “Guess I have to figure out some other way to say sorry.” You watched as his eyes fluttered open and a sheepish grin painted itself across his face. Was there an invitation there?

A shaky sigh escaped your mouth as you reluctantly extracted your hands from his hair and stepped back; you rolled your eyes, and just like that the old magic of the moment was broken. Still, something skipped in the air around you.

“You hardly have to worry about missing today when you were fighting an intruder, Steve. Don’t be ridiculous. Whaddya say to just whipping something up here and watching a movie? That’s my kind of apology anyway.” You dropped the cloth in the sink and turned around, crossing your arms and leaning back to look at him again. The physical distance had allowed the fog in your brain to clear just a little bit, until you saw the way he was watching you. Lazy, but focused at the same time. “What?” Your skin felt warm under his gaze.

“Nothing. You just look nice is all. Was that dress for me?” If anyone had looked at you right now, you were sure you would have looked like a deer in headlights. You weren’t sure whether to answer or not. His voice had gone all low, and now he was standing, making his way over to you with sure, slow steps. The floor creaked slightly under his weight. Oh, definitely not good. Steve reached forward once more, correcting the strap that had fallen down your shoulder. Goosebumps raced over your flesh. “I like the idea of staying here better too,” he rumbled. You pursed your lips and nodded, taking another huge breath.

“All right then. Um, I guess we should fix that cabinet door first?” Steve’s eyes searched yours for a moment before smiling and ducking his head.

“Yeah, I’ll grab the toolbox from the garage. I’ll take care of that if you can finish cleaning the mess off the counter?” Another nod.

“I’ll check the fridge too, I’m pretty sure we have all the ingredients for pizza.” You took a moment to watch his face; his eyes were distant. It took everything in you to tamp down the urge to reach out and touch him. “Steve, are you good?”

He stuck both thumbs in the air as he headed past you to the garage. Something in the set of his shoulders and the way he quickly avoided your gaze said otherwise, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. The idea that this had just been a normal break-in seemed unlikely. Even if Steve hadn’t been interacting with S.H.I.E.L.D outside of occasional check-ins, there was no way Steve would have been caught off guard by a normal human being. Still, it didn’t feel like the right time to question him about it.

The two of you made quick work of the mess. After a small disagreement on whether pineapple actually belongs on pizza, with a compromise of half with pineapple, half without, the two of you finally settled on the couch to watch the movie. It was some secret agent rom-com you’d seen a few times before, but that always fit the bill for a chill night at the house. Steve, on the other hand, had not seen it and felt obligated to point out all the flaws in the action scenes. It made you smirk and elbow him more than once. After a while, though, you began to feel the tell-tale signs of sleep, your eyes drooping and your breath slowing.

It didn’t take him very long to notice.“Wanna head to bed, sleepyhead?”

You turned to him, your gaze briefly unfocused, and poked his arm.“I wouldn’t be tired at only eight pm if I hadn’t been woken up two hours before my four am alarm,” you replied with a smirk. Despite yourself, however, a yawn escaped your mouth. “I’ll take care of the dishes, it will help me wake up enough to finish the movie. You need to take a shower or anything after fighting the big bad wolf?”

Steve crossed his arms and let out a snort. You nudged his arm again with your elbow. “All jokes aside, thanks for keeping our house safe.” He stilled next to you but finally nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re welcome. Uh, yeah, I’ll go take a shower. You sure you don’t want any help?” Again, had he always been this nice?

“You’re fine. Go on.” If you had been able to read his mind, you would have known that to hear you say “our house” lit a fire in his veins. You wandered into the kitchen, noting how every detail seemed in focus; the night sounds coming in the open window, the smells of the breeze, the way the tile felt cool under your bare feet. The air felt charged with… what? You noted the gradual switch in your brain. Just this morning, you had been able to rattle off in your head all the reasons you hated living with Steve. You had even contemplated looking for someone else to room with. And now… now, after a brief conversation and some wound care, you really couldn’t figure out why you had decided to hate him. Hate was a pretty strong word.

Two plates and some intense daydreaming later, you wandered back into the living room just as Steve came back down the hallway, adjusting his shirt over the lower half of his stomach.

You were glad the lighting was low, because you were sure he would have seen the flush creep into your cheeks at the glimpse of bare skin across his abdomen. Absolutely ridiculous. Finish the movie. Go to bed. It was very simple. Or better yet, fake a headache? Could Captain America tell when someone was lying? Would you be surprised if he could? No. You sneaked a sideways glance at him as you sat down again. He smelled fresh and like a hint of Old Spice. His hair was combed back but still wet; little water droplets clung to the ends. Without a second thought, you reached out and turned his face to look at you.

“How’s that cut,” you murmured, suddenly quiet. The wound that just hours before had looked like it would need stitches now looked like a thin pink line. Oh god, his face was so close. You could close the space easily. There, there was that look again. Steve was not one to shy away from looking someone in the eyes, and every time he had looked at you in the last twenty-four hours had left you feeling weak and heavy, but in the best sort of way. Your phone buzzed from its place on the coffee table in front of you, the name “VANESSA” emblazoned on the front. You released a breath you hadn’t released you were holding and snatched the phone up. Steve cleared his throat and sat back.

“Hey, Nessa, what’s up?” What was up was that the opener for tomorrow morning had called out, and you were the most reliable on short notice. You agreed to cover the shift and let out a groan of disappointment when she told you she was working the night shift, so you wouldn’t even get to see her. Steve guessed what had happened from the conversation he could hear on his end (actually, he could easily hear both ends of the conversation, but that point was moot) so he locked up while you were getting last minute details.

“It’s all good,” he laughed when you tried to apologize. “We can finish the movie some other time. I had fun tonight. Oh, and, uh, thanks for the medical care.” He had shoved his hands in his sweatpants pockets and was rocking back on his heels. He looked every bit like someone who was definitely planning out his next move. He looked nervous, and somehow you couldn’t wrap your brain around that.

“Was the least I could do. I’ll see ya tomorrow?” Steve ducked his head with a smile. A smile that could stop traffic. A smile that had been burned into the mind of every US citizen as the poster boy for America. But to you, it was a smile that was warm. Familiar. And somehow now a smile that was starting to whisper home.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Was there a promise there? You kept the shower water cold that night, trying to focus on something other than Steve Rogers.

#and were live #and they were roommates #inthorantine writes #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers #captain america #guys im so hype #i cant believe i drilled out #close to 4k words #let me know what yall think

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