#delete later this dont matter

[oddberryshortcake]

I wish I weren't poor and chronically ill 🥺

#such a bad combo #I'm not super sad it's just...yknow #I swear all my meds combined is probably half my entire paycheck #I just wanna take a vacation #or do nothing on my couch lmao #delete later this dont matter #its been a day #it's STILL a day im in class rn

[mellowmooon]

...do i count as disabled. is this a thing that counts for me now

ive never seen it anywhere else. I've seen people who use wheelchairs and canes but nobody like me. i just get really bad pain regularly and i dont fucking know why and it's making me a little bit insane because nobody is taking it seriously or trying to take me somewhere it's always just take some tylenol like that'll solve it

#sorry for venting on main i just #dont feel like putting it on the other one #this has been happening since i was four. nobody ever fucking takes it seriously #because oh it's just growing pains #just take some tylenol you'll be okay #doesn't matter if the problem's getting worse #this is a really bad rant im just. tired #delete later

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

This is gonna sound unhinged(also sorry to everybody that just now started following me bcuz of my Hazbin stuffs for making u deal w/ my South Park bs) but I PERSONALLY choose to ignore all the possible canon SP timelines and believe the main 4 grow up to be the worst, most codependent polycule you will ever meet in your entire life because I am not above admitting that I kinda just need that energy in my life rn. Don't ask why I just do.

#I may be cringe but Im FREE and thats what matters #also I just love disfunctional polycules in my media. like yeeeeees have those convoluted relationships!!! #Butters can also join but tbh I rlly just want him to get away from. everybody. pls somebody get that child some better friends- #south park #stylennyman #not gonna tag a lot cuz I just dont feel like it tbh #late night ramblings #might delete this later

[skunkes]

finally found a better way to word my issues with art improvement and thats that obviously art with no ref is/can be a little incorrect and misguided, there are Mistakes when you're just going off of memory.

But when i do studies my art becomes too Rigid because my brain remembers the studies and yells at me if i dont proportion things "correctly" (+ also ends up Bad due to overworking to "Fix" it)...

Its hawrd to find that balance, + have it be the Loose and Fun art that comes before reminding self what something is "supposed to look like". I feel my stuff only exists between extreme ends of sloppy and rigid bc i cant find the balance

Ive seen a few very old drawings from before I started using refs more often and they almost look Better. They dont look 100% Right but they look Good. Now I overwork everything bc it doesnt look Right and it still ends up not looking Right or Good.

#i also mentioned before the whole ''it doesnt matter if it looks Right if it looks Good'' and how some people have uninformed stylization... #and i feel caught between those too...i feel like my stuff just looks like uninformed stylization... #actually scratch that‚ IT IS. bc i look at old art and its exactly what it looks like #i dont know how ppl stylize correctly. i know the rules but even when you break them it turns out that theres correct ways to break them #and i cannot do that... #i also cant tell if it looks good despite not looking right...as in my brain it just looks Wrong and (therefore) Bad #talkys #also ugh im now fully realizing the truth of youll never like your art because its Yours and you hate yourself. so discouraging. #i rlly am never going to like it. every day i wish i cld see it thru someone else's eyes bc this is so miserable. idk how to keep #going if im never going to like it or make anything im proud of #but i will bc i have to 🫶 alas #delete later

[piplupcola]

I just want to commend you artists, you writers, you game designers and cosplayers and anyone who does creative stuff out there on finding the courage to create. Many of you out there are plagued with depression, anxiety, lack of confidence, imposter syndrome and so many other worries and doubts about your ability to create. I am one such person, and though I have so many ideas and stories in my head i could explode, I lose confidence in my ideas and skill so rapidly from just holding a pen, basically nothing ever gets put on page. I'll tell myself I'm lucky if I even get a single drawing done in a year, frankly calling myself an artist is more a fraud than anything.

But you people, you creative amazing people manage to overcome that. No matter how good you think your work is or your level of skill, you draw and write and do it anyway, some of you even post it online for people to see, something I'm almost always ashamed about doing in fear of someone I know seeing it (why do u think I'm hiding here on tumblr where none of the much more talented people I know go). I've always admired yet envy you amazing people, who are passionate about art, who sit down and still make stuff after a long day of work because it makes u relax, who see art as joy than something you need to do because it's work, who would draw and create despite all the hardships and doubts and worries the world and yourself have place upon you.

The fact that you're able to get pass all that and get a sketch, a word, an idea down on a page, I think you all are so very incredibly brave. Much braver than me at least. No matter where you are on your creative journey right now, keep doing what you're doing and create. It is those that keep going that make it to success in the end. I unfortunately will not be one those people, but I hope that I can keep cheering others on instead.

#art #artists #honestly its late and i might delete this in the morning #i just wanna get this out of my head so i can sleep #artists on tumblr #i feel like if i ever get drunk this is what my rambles would be like #idk cos i dont drink #but i hope ill be an encouraging drunk more than a sad drunk #right now with half my brain begging me to sleep i feel like both #keep drawing guys #thats the long and short of it #i came out of art school learning that i could never be an artist #not because of skills or anything its bcos i just have no drive to create like others #no matter how well i did in school it was always just to get a good grade #that when i left school there were no more assignments and i never could draw like i did in school again #it was then that i realise i could draw if i had to but i could never truly be an artist who draws bcos they want to #its just something i accepted and i need to learn to move on from #anyways night rambles #im gonna delete this later #im like that snowman in Undertale #i wont be able to go where you all go but i hope youll take a piece of me with you through all your art #anyways drink lots of water stayin school fuck AI and im gonna pass out #artist on tumblr

[wise-innocence]

Yanfei vc: If I'm an Emantor of Equilibrium, obviously HooH must think I'm pretty neat :)

HooH, who could not care less about the Arbitrators:

#// hsr verse loading page #// sorry im like super excited to work on this lmao #// yanfei doesnt flaunt any abilities or whatever #// but its funny to think that HooH is one of the aeons that just dont gaf about worldly matters #// similar to IX #// “vulgar mortal drama” okay man #// delete later

[yiptsu]

"what if sans is the knight" "what if Papyrus is the knight" "what if undyne is the knight"

What if deltarune is a story in its own right and doesn't have to tie back to UnderTale at all & the characters are only there for nostalgia purposes and for the fact it would take up less resources to reuse/slightly edit sprites from ut than to make all new character sheets

#undertale #deltarune #listen i love the theories #but some of you have to let go of undertale and enjoy the game as it is #it is so unlikely that any of the ut characters have any relation to the storyline #the only character i can see mattering is gaster and that is only because we havent seen him in deltarune yet #dont take this harshly or anything #ill probably delete it later but for now ugh

[sloppysequinz]

Just opened an insurance claim summary and discovered that some medical professional decided that they needed to put “MORBID (SEVERE) OBESITY DUE TO EXCESS CALORIES” front and center as a diagnosis and now I feel like shit 🙃✌🏻

#that was NOT what the claim was about it was for a surgery to remove a skin growth #but somebody decided I also needed to be marked down as FAT GROSS FUCK FROM EATING TOO MUCH #right next to the problem I was ACTUALLY getting treated for #at no point did I talk to my doctor or anyone on my surgery team about my weight #like I know. I know I’m in the obese BMI category and I normally don’t care because I think it’s bullshit #but to have them so clinically there seems cruel and hurtful #ALSO FUCK YOU YOU DONT KNOW WHAT MY OBESITY IS DUE TO #I’ve been in that category pretty much my whole life no matter what I ate #this is what gives women like me eating disorders #delete later

[tortadecuchufli]

say, are you from a relevant country or do your issues get tagged with compassion fatigue by global north bloggers?

#im salty #may delete this later idk #i really dislike that tag really #if you need to step away fron social media or certain tags then do that i guess but #buddy its your work #why is there a label for This Is A Big Issue You May Opt In To Read #and the big issue is genocide in the global south #or. rather. anything happening to people that your culture has convinced you matter less #look i dont oppose wanting to take a break from exposing yourself to all the things going on in the world #god knows i want to as well #but idk. it just feels like there may be a double standard #but i hope. i truly hope i am wrong

[gammija]

im sorry for laughing at 'the reading comprehension of tumblr is piss poor' jokes now - reddit might not necessarily be worse, but they sure are more confident about it

#joos yaps #delete later #probably #ig its also literally a matter of site cultural differences #tumblr on the whole is quite conflict avoidant im realising #if you dont agree with a post... just unfollow whoever put it on your dash? #or go through the notes to try and understand it

[frecklystars]

i dont know what's wrong with me but i always feel so sad and heartbroken when i see Colt.

like i feel so overwhelmed with love for him but i really cannot imagine him loving me back. like. like. he's everything. and i'm just keri. y'know.

augh. it feels... impossible. like i am not Good Enough for him. he would not look twice at me. i didn't used to have this problem until i was abused for so long and now it's like... i cannot imagine receiving love unless if it is through violence. oogh. hurts my heart like a motherfucker. i miss the old me.

#before this year happened i was always SO 100% ready to self ship #i would look at ANYONE. any any ANY character in the WORLD #and i'd be like. oh they'd love me!!! no doubts in my mind whatsoever. they LOVE me!!!! even the worst villains ever!!! #BUT nowadays im constantly like. ok i am not good enough. i am not pretty enough #i am not [insert word here] enough no matter what i'd do to change my appearance or personality to fit someone's desires #i *never* used to look down on myself THIS often and to THIS degree #now i genuinely believe that i cannot be loved unless it is through violence #or that im only desirable if im in a vulnerable position where im in pain or hurting bc i was told it made me 'cute' #and like?? it's stupid? they're fictional? why can't i just... stop thinking that lowly of myself? #my abuser is gone so why am i still believing all of the things they said to me?? #i want Colt to love me for Me. i want Ken to love me for Me #but i also feel like. im unlovable to them unless if im useful or... bleeding or beaten up or something. christ #TF f/os are gone. out the window. i lost them. and im so scared of losing my Ryan F/Os too when i need them so badly #idk how to be myself bro i dont know where the old me is!!! #im being stupid im sorry i just gotta throw this into the void 😭 #vent #delete later #abuse mention

[demonstars]

the part in the video about q has actually made me so fuckinf sad like all this talk about doxxing and how mean people have been to him but he never made a single negative comment about the way q’s community treated him and he literally blamed himself. anyway im not gonna think about it too much because his kindness and ability to self reflect constantly is my favorite thing about him and i have to remember it’s a good thing

can i say something that is one of the parts i think i will never watch because it Will make me kill myself. i just don't think i can withstand it

#WHILE I DO ADMIRE THE CAPACITY TO DO IT EITHER WAY. i dont think he has a choice in this matter. he either talks about it like that ordoesnt #maybe deleting this ask later idk it just makes me sad. #star anons

[craycraybluejay]

Codependency is underrated

#and kinda overrated also #bc when the ppl i love do anything my brain is like 'u dont matter to them' #i always talk ab how jealousy is not hot but im genuinely so full of envy and jealousy #like WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THEM they talked shit to you about me ARE THEY STILL WHISPERING IN YOUR EAR #i get so mad! #its not FAIR that when i meddle in other ppls affairs im obliterated over it and cut off #but then when someone else meddles in MY relationships that person is forgiven and im expected to forgive them too? #no! #cut them off like you'd cut me off if i ever pulled that shit! #its not fair its a double standard #'its not going to happen again' i dont care they should actually just be dead but im willing to compromise #even compromise isnt enough for ppl they want to break ur heart and know u will let them #its an UNBALANCED codependency bc i know i would get rid of someone if that person asked me to instantly #i would especially never try to defend someone they dont like for good reason to them. wtf. #i just feel like such a doormat bc im always loyal and other ppl just arent #cant u see this person doesnt care ab u!! theyre using u for their image! theyre a parasite! why are they more important! #vent post #vent in tags #delete later

[inkybinkyboink]

i love u math people who explain math in a way that non-math people still interested in math can understand

#like ok no i am absolute dogshit at math #i am so terrible at it #i have been a high honours student my entire life and the only class i was ever failing was math that is how bad i am #so i always kind of just left it alone bc it wasnt my thing but recently ive been like super into the shit math can tell us abt the univers #like that kind of stuff #and i just very much love that people explain difficult things in a way that my snail brain can understand and still ogle at how marvelous #it all is #and i love natural history and i love evolution and all that cool shit and like ahhhh the world is so big and we know a lot but also i dont #think we do? and thats cool because at the end of the day any conclusion is valid? because it doesnt matter but it does matter because you #make it matter and the world is just very big and objective and awful and cool and everything all at once #delete later probably

[anggeese]

I can never escape that one artist that infantilizes xiao to hell and back

#no matter how much i block and mute popular genshin pages still share their art #i dont want to see them dear lord #delete later

[lannisterdaddyissues]

today is not a good day

#i am so done with this semester you have no idea #i dont even know why i am still in college i feel like i should just drop out #no matter how hard i study for an exam i cant get so much as a fucking C on any of them #i worked my ass off for this exam and i thought for sure i could get a high B but i didnt even come close #i dont understand i did well enough on my last two exams but i fucked this one up so bad and it doesnt make any sense #theres just no use in me even trying anymore ill never get better than a D on any of my exams #its like these classes are setting me up to fail #im so lost i dont know what is going wrong in my head but it just isnt working #and i hate this #sorry to vent on main but i am so done i am so tired of being stupid i want to go back to when i wasnt failing everything #im so genuinely lost because i thought i knew this material so well so what the fuck happened #to delete later