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#dick abt danny: what a good kid!
ghostbsuter · 5 months
Text
"I can see dead people." He mentions with a shrug, using the chopsticks to fish more noodles into his mouth.
Dick stares at him. "Huh."
"Is that why you help?" He asks, getting more spring rolls.
"Yeah. Once someone becomes a ghost, word gets out quick, and they come to me. Always tatling about unfairness and justice." The kid waves the words around, rolling his eyes.
Dick just pretens to he uninterested, despite his mind racing at the new info. He is piecing past moments together, every shadow leaping away, every note with tips, leads and—
Huh.
"Do you... like it? Doing all that?" Richard approaches thus carefully, brows furrowed at the kid opposite of him.
Danny moves his head, giving a 'so-so' answer. "It's not much to like, I can see ghosts, and they know it and use it. If it brings them to peace or whatever– well, that's just a plus."
Dick stares. He places his chopsticks down and looks at Danny worried.
In turn, the kid sighs. "Sometimes gifts become curses the longer you have it."
And Dick understands.
Mind made up, he throws a pair of keys at the kid, watching fondly as the other catches them with confusion.
"Next time use these, instead of entering through the window."
Danny mock-salutes with a shit eating grin. "Yes, Officer grayson."
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halfagone · 7 months
Note
hi, hello, big fan! literally all of your writing is so good and top tier and i love every second of anything of urs i've read. which the most recent thing i read was ur jason and danny big hero 6 story. and i was so excited bc i love big hero 6, and u served like u do every time. that voice recording from mech-Robin took me out into a puddle of my own tears.
that being said i had a potential scene stuck in my head after i read that and i need to make it ur problem so here (i love love sibling angst) :
(kinda playing on ur implied engineer/inventor jason and implied danny's weakness being electricity above a certain threshold):
danny' despite telling dick that he would do a last patrol to say good bye, does not actually do that. he can't. not after- he has jason's face. he calls himself the red hood apparently. murder, mob boss, assassin, call him whatever you want. danny knows jason and that- that's not words people use for jason.
danny knows all abt pple coming back. first hand. that- that was is jason. they fought a few times. danny tried to figure out what was going on. either red hood (bc hes not jason- not yet) is being extremely tight lipped, or he doesn't know wither.
this time had been like every other time this past week danny encountered red hood in jason's turf (it would always be jason's, danny was just taking care of it). they met on a roof top, or rather danny had intercepted him. dick had told him not to go, said red hood was too dangerous, no one knew how far he was capable to go, what he was capable of doing. (danny didn't have the words to tell dick who was under the hood). danny didn't listen.
danny could tell red hood was getting annoyed of him. he was being more and more drastic, trying to get in heavier hits. if danny wasn't already half-way dead, hood would've gotten him there himself by now.
so when hood turned to look at danny, almost expecting- ready for a fight- danny hadn't been surprised. they fought like the always did. hood tried to kill, danny tried to subdue- get through to him. you can't kill whats already dead.
but hood was trying getting as close as anyone had gotten. a weird metal rope rapped itself around danny's foot, and before he had the chance to go intangible and get rid of it, electricity spiked through it.
danny could handle regular electricity, wall circuits, random door nobs, chargers - he was fine.
this- this was not normal electricity.
danny couldn't stop the scream that came out of his mouth as he crumbled to the floor in pain. pain that he'd only ever felt once before- thought he would never feel again. after all you can only die once.
danny did have a way with breaking rules though.
"danny!" he heard dick yell for him.
"danny you're hurt. on a scale from 1-10 how much pain do you feel." robin came out from it's hiding spot danny had told it to stay in. he didn't want jason to make that connection. if he even remembered.
"fucking a thousand." he barley managed before everything went dark.
-
dick knew he should've tried harder to stop him. should've known the kid would need more than a measly tracker. at least a comm, at least some good tech. not like they were short on funds. dick was suck a goddamn idiot to only realize that when he heard the most thought shattering scream of pain in his life.
"danny!" he screamed, not even thinking of code names.
"nightwing. what happened?" oracle asked in his ear.
he didn't have time to respond, only focusing on getting to danny as fast as he could. he's promised jason- god damit dick- you promised jason that u'd take the kid if smt happened to him. he would screwier dick if he had even known that he let danny go out vigilanting in crime ally of all places. unsupervised at that.
red hood towered over an unconscious but still withering in pain danny, crow bar in hand, ready to make the kill.
dick knew he couldn't get there in time. "danny!" he cried again, not feeling this helpless since his last circus act. oracle said something urgently, then b, but dick couldn't hear over the static in his own head.
red hood heard him that time. the crow bar inches away from danny's skull froze from what would've been a critical hit.
"danny?" he heard red hood's robotic voice echo from under the mask, but he didn't let the implied confusion deter him. he tackled him to the floor.
hood stayed there. watching dick as he untied the metal rope from danny's foot and called be to bring the batmobile and for someone to prep the medbay.
dick felt danny's pulse. it was light, feint, almost gone.
he could work with almost.
"danny." red hood said again, this time more sure of something.
there was something familar about the way he said that, but dick couldn't figure out why. (it sounded like jason) it didn't matter, because he would make sure danny never had to take on red hood again. not on his own.
he made a promise and he would keep it.
---
sorry i didn't think it would be that long, but it was such a bad itch in my brain and i needed to get it out.
OH MY GOSH YOU USED THE LINE
Poor Dick, he's Trying™ so hard but you cannot save/solve everything 😔 But also I'm sure this was intentional but that very similar parallel to the Joker was Concerning. Still oh so angsty though, thank ye for that. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to write for Whumptober, and yes I'm still thinking about writing for Whumptober despite of that lol
But all this was inspired by "On a scale from 1-10?" asfhjdsgh
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But you are right that fic was very emotional (it didn't help that I wasn't feeling the greatest at the time so I probably added some extra angst as a result lol) I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! It was very heavy so I know not a lot of people could/would read it, but to know that there are fans out there, that really did enjoy it 🥺 Thank you so much for sharing <3
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effervescentdragon · 1 year
Note
Maxiel and football/soccer au
i'm in a mood, and shadowbanned, so fuck it. inspired by @blorbocedes and her ideas abt this ship ngl. idk what this is honestly.
Daniel doesn't want to do it; he really fucking doesn't. He's not - he's not fucking old. He's twenty-five, for fuck's sake. Kimi is ten years older than him and he still plays like a beast. Lewis is twenty-nine, and he is the best player in the world, objectively, and in Daniel's own opinion. Seb, fuck, Seb is older than him and still the best offensive player in the whole of Europe.
So Daniel doesn't want to just, like, give up. Give his place to an upstart, to a fucking - to a teenager. No matter how good the kid is, Daniel isn't here to put his tail between his legs and let himself get fucked over. He still has a lot to give, a lot of drive, a hunger that can't be compared to anyone else on the field. That won't change, no matter what kind of player the kid is.
He's good, though. Max, his name is, and Daniel knows it, but he pretends he doesn't. He sees him flinch whenever Daniel calls him 'kid' and it gives him some sort of satisfaction, feeds that part of him that he buries down below and behind the wide smiles and the joking tone in which he delivers his jokes that aren't really jokes, that he means seriously. He sees the way the kid's cheeks flush, his pale skin not hiding the redness. Daniel thinks it looks ugly. Daniel thinks that the red makes his eyes look even more blue. Daniel thinks he wants the kid to blush more. Daniel thinks he wants the kid to be a worse player. (At least a worse player than Daniel.)
Daniel sees the way the kid looks at him, too. The way he looks away when Daniel takes off his clothes and walks to the showers, unbothered and laughing, unselfconscious the way the kid isn't, with his baby face and the way he still hasn't grown into his body. He sees it all, the quick glances, the redness of his cheeks and his ears that spreads to his torso, and he winks at the kid, and slaps him on the admittedly very firm ass, and takes every chance to touch him. The kid takes it all, giggles nervously, averts his eyes and tries to reciprocate, to tease Daniel back, clumsily and endearingly. Daniel does everything he can to kick the kid out of balance, to distract him before practices, to make him as flustered and as unbalanced as possible.
The kid goes out on the field every single time and outplays them all. (Outplays Daniel every single time.)
-
"You'll play center, Max," Christian says, and Daniel clenches his fists. The kid's eyes dart to Daniel quickly before he nods. "Danny, you're on the defence."
Daniel nods and says nothing. The kid scores two goals. Daniel gets a red card. He says nothing, still, but he isn't giving up. He isn't. He is Daniel fucking Ricciardo, and he is hungry for the win. He still has a lot to give, and he will. He'll give it his all, and he will be the best.
-
He fucks the kid eventually. He ends up fucking him regularly for a year. It's - alright. He's a good fuck, Max, and he's responsive, and he begs really prettily. His dick is bigger than Daniel's, but he doesn't mind being fucked. He doesn't ask to fuck Daniel, and he only comes to Daniel's room when Daniel asks. He never stays after sex, but that's okay, because Daniel doesn't give a fuck. It's not about sex, at all; it's about using everything in his power to stay where he deserves to be - on the top.
At the end of the year, Max gets a contract for five more years.
Daniel's contract doesn't get renewed.
-
"Max Verstappen, Netherland's captain, scores the deciding goal that takes Netherlands to the World Cup finale after ten years of-"
Daniel turns off the TV. His sister is waiting for him to go and pick up her kids for the day, so they can spend the day at their uncle's farm.
Daniel is thirty years old. He hasn't played football professionally for the past two.
He picks up the keys to his truck and goes to get his nephews.
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redroseworks · 4 years
Note
you should talk abt your earth-116 oc kids 👀
Akajsjakakah ok you asked for it lol
Idk where to start
Oh wait the three dc ocs that are kinda sort of their own thing except for one anyway
Lynn Small aka Selkie. Gothamite. Half Atleantean. Hates their dad. Goth. Eventually a sorcerer. Bad at coping.
Quatashia McFadden aka Lady Iris. Wonder Woman stan. Her mom is the goddess Iris. Would be offended by the pjo books. Retires from being a hero very early in life.
Jivika Chabra aka Kali. Her bio mother is lady shiva who donated her egg for a gay assassin couple to use with a surrogate. Yeah it's a long story. Also jivika isnt happy that they wanted her to be an assassin later in life. But like she only finds that out when they're both dead? They weren't planning on actually training her till she was 18 anyway. At least she can yell at their ghosts. Would kin Danny Phantom. She ends up dating Emiko Queen while in college!
Now my dickroy kiddos
Valerie Harper-Grayson. Adopted when she was three. Part Atleantean. Damian is her favorite Uncle bc he is almost always up for taking her to the aquarium. Then again Damian is basically all the Harper-Grayson kiddos fav Uncle. She never gets into the whole vigilante/hero business.
John Bo Harper-Grayson. Yeah John Bo is his whole first name. He goes by Bo. Hes biologically Roy and dicks kid. He'll eventually become Nightwing but he stays out of vigilante stuff till hes about 19.
Dylras Harper-Grayson. He was adopted as a baby from New Tamaran! He was rescued from uhh human/alien traffickers. He becomes Flamebird to Bo's Nightwing.
So now Bo's best friend: Jordan Lance-Queen! Haldinahollie's kid.
Jordan is biologically Hal's and a surrogate. They literally tried to find a surrogate that looked like Dinah. Jordan ends up being nonbinary so luckily they already had a gender neutral name. They'll eventually become Green Arrow! Their main goal in life is to make Bo suffer.
And then there are the Kent-Waynes and Allen-Waynes. Timkonbart kiddos.
Logan Kent-Wayne is tim and kons kid. Hes a really sweet kid though I havent wrote him as well him yet since I've mainly written him in a time period where he hasn't come out yet. He literally named himself after an actor cough garfield logan cough from a science fiction show he liked but then he found out said actor is friends with his uncle dick and he will never admit this.
Then there are the actually older than Logan twins. Except their clones. Made by lex luthor with DNA from kon and tim, Clark and Bruce Kent-Wayne use to be known as Alexander and Alexa Legacy. Maybe they were a little evil but they changed. They wanted to choose new names for their new lifes and asked tim, bart, and kon about names. Bruce's gender identity came out when he choose the name Bruce. Bruce and Robbie Troy end up dating (for a second time, first time being back when b was a little evil) and doing humanitarian work around the globe while also being heroes. Clark ends up going to Metropolis University to study elementary education!
And then there are tim and bart's pair of twins Meloni and Dana Allen-Wayne. I've only written them as babies so far so I havent given them much thought
Oh that reminds me Thad Allen (used to be Thawne but I feel like thad would change it) has an adopted son who he named Max
Now these two aren't kiddos but: Ezra and Amber Kane, Bette Kanes parents. Ezra is the youngest kid of whatever the fuck martha and Jacob's parents names were. He was a bit of a surprise considering his parents were pretty old when he was born so hes like 20 years younger than his closest sibling in age jacob. Hes also only like 8 years older than bruce and doted on his nephew as much as he could and hes the inspiration of the whole brucue wayne playboy act despite him not being a playboy at all but anyway. Hes also a pro tennis player. Amber Kane is his wife and best friend. She once dated Janet Drake. She had a shitty life and despite being an actress her childhood is still mainly secret. A few vague details are known but not specific not that it matters anyway. Her parents died when she was young and was taken in by some not so good people who got away with it bc they had money. Ezra and Amber spend any minute they can with Bette bc they love her and she is the light of their lives (well besides each other).
Then there's Faith, Bane, and Soledad Kerzner. Scandal, Kay, and Liana's kids. Faith and Bane are biologically Lianas with Thomas Blake as the sperm donor. Soledad was adopted when she was two . Faith... is a bit rebellious and gets caught up in some shit she really shouldn't have. Bane and Soledad are two characters I havent really explored yet but anyway they all love their three moms.
Viola and Robin Thomas are Duke Thomas and Jackson hyde's adopted kids. Viola is Martian which is really difficult considering her abilities. Shes a sweet kid though and really likes to help her dads! Robin is an Atleantean baby Jackson saved and brought home and it was kinda like that icarly meme (duke: jackson what do you have there? Jackson, holding robin and a smoothie: a smoothie) but like more dramatic bc Jackson was injured and had only come home because it was close and he really needed to actually go to a hospital anyway yay. Viola will become the signal and robin will become aqualad on day
Oh and there's Lilith "Lili" Bloomberg. Shes rose Wilson and eddie Bloomberg's daughter. She likes to watch blue devil. Shes really sensitive. Rose and eddie never got married to each other but Rose and Mia dearden married when Lilith was sorta young and eddie was married to jason todd for a little while before they got divorced and later he enters a relationship with zach zatara but I havent decided if that will last or not. Lilith is really close with tommy Blake bc hes kind of like an older brother to her
And then there's mystery girl wilson... I have yet to name her but shes a character I'm working on but her dad is slade
And that's it for now. There's more but I dont feel like going into then right now. But there more like Jason Todd's group of adopted kiddos and some others but I feel like this answer is getting way too long
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jiilys · 5 years
Text
call if you care for me
Sirius Black to goobers: the one day i actually come and school burns down
Remus Lupin: what classes were you in
James Potter: i was in english you Were Not
Peter Pettigrew: or history
Remus Lupin: it doesnt count as attending school if u just lie behind the science block till lunch  
Sirius Black: youre all ruining this fire for me  
/
James Potter to Lily Evans: give back my chocolate shake
Lily Evans: i dont have it
James Potter: i can see u fuckin drinkin it we’re in the same mcdonalds
Lily Evans: everyones saying you did it
James Potter: pardon
Lily Evans: set the fire
James Potter: come off it
James Potter: whose saying that
Lily Evans: everyone
James Potter: ah yes my great mate ‘everyone’
Lily Evans: mary, elliot from science, louise marcot, guy from math whose name i dont know but went to ball with ruby garland, sam roberts, and sushi danny have all told me it was you
James Potter: wow that does seem like everyone
James Potter: now im wondering whether I did do it
/
Sirius Black to James Potter: had a dream i died in a freak pharmaceutical accident last night
James Potter: what is a freak pharmaceutical accident
Sirius Black: i was drunk in a pharmacy and put all their throat lozenges up my nose 
Marlene McKinnion to Lily Evans: schools on the news
Marlene McKinnon: why tf are they interviewing black and calling him a ‘student’
Marlene McKinnon: dont u need to attend school for at least 3 out of 5 weekdays to earn that title
/
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: saw u on the news
Lily Evans: ur tie was inside out if thats even possible
Sirius Black: all part of My Look which i have now publicised on national telly so eat ass
/
James Potter to Lily Evans: wow is this what happens when u go in the sun what a tan u have
James Potter: and by tan i obvsly mean you look like an overcooked frankfurter
James Potter: clearly u need to be marinating in sunblock like a chicken
James Potter: GOD these similes……… no wonder I won the english prize over you last year
Lily Evans: what a shame ur going to be murdered before you can win it again
/
Remus Lupin to Marlene McKinnon: just checking ur the one called lesbo archilles in the kahoot
Marlene McKinnon: ya
Marlene McKinnon: why
Remus Lupin: wanted to know who was beating me
Marlene McKinnon: up ur classics knowledge lupin  
/
Peter Pettigrew to only smexy activity permitted: holy dick mum got an email the police think the fire was arson  
Sirius Black: confess now james
James Potter: fuck you
/
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: have u seen beyonce
Peter Pettigrew: i meant beyonce
Peter Pettigrew: why does it keep saying beyonce
/
James Potter to Sirius Black: nice work autocorrecting ur name in petes phone to beyonce
James Potter: however ur less destinys child and more destinys bastard son
Sirius Black: im making that my tinder bio
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: you know what i think ur socks need 2 pulled higher
Lily Evans: fuck the haters pull those things tits high
James Potter: ur late to this sirius already asked me if i knew i was being eaten alive from the foot upwards
James Potter: theyre literally pulled only just above my ankle i hate everyone i know
/
Remus Lupin to James Potter: have u seen this
Remus Lupin: sent a facebook link to jomes potter (general dickhead) deserves medal for burning down school
James Potter: this is getting out of control I DIDNT DO IT
James Potter: this page has 137 likes and theyve spelt my name wrong i wish i was dead
James Potter: ok why are you and sirius admins
/
Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: they know how the fire started
Marlene McKinnon: or mum knows cause shes sleeping with that police guy
Marlene McKinnon: lit cigarette by the languages block between 11-11:15
Lily Evans: fucking pardon
Lily Evans: are you sure
Marlene McKinnon: course i bloody am
Marlene McKinnon: whats the problem
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: james
Lily Evans: not to be drama but i think i fucking burnt down the school
Lily Evans: literally call me asap
/
James Potter to Remus Lupin: hypothetically in a hypothetical situation if someone was hypothetically smoking in the languages block and threw it on the ground at the exact hypothetical time a fire had hypothetically started what would one hypothetically do
James Potter: hypothetically
Remus Lupin: jfc what have u done
James Potter: genuinely not me this time come to lils pls
/
Sirius Black created the group save lily from arrest
Sirius Black added James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin
Lily Evans: sirius this isn’t funny i could’ve really hurt someone
Sirius Black: senorita blanco failed me in fourth year spanish so you could say it was karma
Sirius Black: also relax evans ur not guy fawkes u only maimed several expensive smartboards  
Remus Lupin: guy fawkes was famously unsuccessful ur reference is shite
Sirius Black renamed the group blow me lupin
/
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: james has it so bad its embarrassing hes followed all her playlists on spotify
Sirius Black: hes making his bed cause shes coming over who is he
Sirius Black: like evans makes her damn bed
/
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: marnie attkins just told me theres £120 on when youll confess u set the fire  
Peter Pettigrew: can u tell me when ur planning 2 so i can win i promise to split it  
James Potter: pete are you kidding me
/
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: stop looking at the languages block and being a sad sack  
Lily Evans: you mean where the block used to be before i burnt it down
Lily Evans: where are you anyway i cant see you
Sirius Black: on the roof of the bio building i have a deck chair here
Sirius Black: also dont be a drama queen youre not a bad person
Sirius Black: you hurt no one and cant change what happened by blaming urself
Sirius Black: now come 2 the science block and bring those twix in ur bag
/
James Potter to Lily Evans: nice tights
Lily Evans: i think you mean nice legs
James Potter: that too
/
Peter Pettigrew to reese witherhoon: we are go
Remus Lupin: godspeed boys
Peter Pettigrew: wait i left my wallpaper glue in the loos we’re not go
Sirius Black: im keeping one of these fake moustaches i look manly
/
Lily Evans to blow me lupin: sirius can i have the crisps in ur bag
Sirius Black: no
Remus Lupin: lily said to tell you shes lost her phone and cant see ur response so has started eating the crisps
Sirius Black: die evans
/
James Potter to Sirius Black: yeah every time i said I was over lil was a bold faced lie why is she the funniest prettiest best girl alive
Sirius Black: ur pathetic
Sirius Black: whats brought this honestly on
James Potter: she was laughing and i wanted 2 kiss her so bad i gave myself a headache
Sirius Black: i said you were pathetic 2 soon i shouldve said it here
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: i know u don’t think i shouldnt but im going to say it was me
Lily Evans: i mean i know mum cant afford the damage but im sure minnie would help me figure smth out where i could pay it back like over time i mean im just
Lily Evans: it was stupid smokings stupid and i miss it but im never fucking doing it again
Lily Evans: i did a bad thinhg
Lily Evans: i hate wine and its late and im masd u didnt come to this party i want u here
James Potter: dont say anything to anyone im going to ring you
/
Sirius Black to Marlene McKinnon: did you take my deck chair from the bio building roof
Marlene McKinnon: who is this
Sirius Black: come of it mckinnon i know u have my number
Sirius Black: i want my chair back
Marlene McKinnon: sorry was always taught not 2 talk to strangers
/
Mum to James Potter: school called and wants to interview you about the fire
James Potter: brilliant
Mum: bring milk home
/
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: are you with sirius
Peter Pettigrew: yeah
Remus Lupin: tell him i took his lunch and he wont get it back till he gives me my calculus homework
Peter Pettigrew: sirius says he has ur wallet and is now buying himself lunch
Peter Pettigrew: he said to ask if you wanted anything
/
Sirius Black to blow me lupin: so when is minnie taking u to jail james
James Potter: imminently  
Remus Luping: can we pls change the group name my mum saw these alerts
Sirius Black renamed the group fuck me lupin
James Potter renamed the group raw me behind the nice thai place lupin
Sirius Black renamed the group lupin rim me in ur mums home office
Remus Lupin: too fucking far leave mums home office out of this
Lily Evans: whats this abt james going to jail
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: cant believe you didnt tell me about mcgonagall interviewing you
James Potter: dw the police think its me lol
James Potter: i guess everyones been sharing their theories and that that fb page now has over 200 likes
James Potter: they dont have anything on me though so ur still good  
Lily Evans: they seriously consider you a suspect
Lily Evans: thats a big fucking deal james what the fuck  
James Potter: lily its fine
James Potter: lily
James Potter: jesus dont do anything stupid
James Potter: lily pickup
/
Peter Pettigrew to brats (not the dolls we’re barbie loyalists): omg guys lily just confessed she set the fire who knew!!!!!
Peter Pettigrew: guys
/
Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: baller of u to burn down the school and not tell me
Marlene McKinnon: is it cause im gay
Marlene McKinnon: homophobe
Marlene McKinnon: but seriously if you don’t call me in 24 hours im just gunna turn up to your house
/
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: fucking hell evans
/
Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: dont talk to the police without a lawyer
James Potter to Lily Evans: lily please call me
/
Lily Evans to rim me in ur mums home office lupin: im suspended for two weeks and have to pay off half the damage but not getting charged or expelled
Sirius Black: stunning job on not getting expelled or going to jail
Sirius Black: and a two week holiday!!! im going to burn down the english block
Lily Evans: black ur an ass
Lily Evans: also
Lily Evans added Marlene McKinnon to the chat
Remus Lupin: congrats lil glad 2 have u still with us
Marlene McKinnon: lupin what the hell is happening in ur mums home office
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: before you go getting all drama i didnt come forward because of you
Lily Evans: i did a bad thing and when you do bad shit ur not supposed to own up and say so
Lily Evans: i was being the kind of thing i hate and was sick of it
Lily Evans: but in the interest of honesty thinking about you in serious trouble makes me sick
James Potter: i understand
James Potter: i kinda always thought you would tell youre kind of like that
Lily Evans: like what
James Potter: good all the way through
/
Sirius Black to James Potter: love of ur life is pretty fucking ethical
James Potter: i know shes the best
Sirius Black: wait till i tell her abt that time u took that magazine from the doctors office
James Potter: we were literally seven how do u remember that  
Sirius Black: crimes are immortal 
/
Sirius Black to suck me off at the old quarry lupin: in lilys memory we should hold a bonfire vigil
Lily Evans: sirius im suspended not dead
Marlene McKinnon: rip evans (some fucking year – now)
Lily Evans: u rlly couldnt figure out the year i was born mar
Remus Lupin: gone but never forgotten
Remus Lupin: also stop it with these group names
Sirius Black renamed the group lupin pull me off at the gas station by the crisps
James Potter renamed the group lupin take me from behind in the girls loos at noon
Remus Lupin: hell has nothing on this
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: am very bored and out of oreos
Lily Evans: been considering dying my hair black just for something to do
James Potter: youd look shit with black hair
Lily Evans: youd know
Lily Evans: HA set you up for that id never dye my hair. u fool
James Potter: so rlly what youve been doing all day is thinking of that bit
Lily Evans: not just that i also finished the oreos
/
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: are you asleep
Remus Lupin: its 4am so you know im not
Sirius Black: i have potters keys wanna get mcdonalds
Remus Lupin: ill meet you outside
/
James Potter to Lily Evans: school is shite without you im coming round
Lily Evans: its 11am
Lily Evans: park down the street i have nosy neigbours
/
Remus Lupin to lupin bum me at nasa: for my birthday i want no one to throw up in my shoes
James Potter: it was fucking ONCE
James Potter: im hosting the damn party i wont b ridiculed like this
Sirius Black renamed the group lupin jerk me off while wearing james’ vomit shoes
Sirius Black: two birds one stone
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: have fun tonight tell remus his gift is late but coming
James Potter: we’ll miss you
Lily Evans: nah youll b fine
James Potter: i wont be
/
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: 2 protect ur shoes i put them inside the upstairs loo bowl no need to thank me
/
James Potter to Lily Evans: i know its late and ur going to think im drunk but ive only had one beer
James Potter: im interested in you
James Potter: so interested
James Potter: romantically
James Potter: earlier sirius struck out with some random girl marlene is now making out with and all i want is you here to laugh with us abt it
James Potter: cause youd say smth funny and good that would make everyone laugh
James Potter: also youre so pretty i couldn’t figure out how to work that in there but you are
James Potter: sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and fucks everything i just had to say
/
Lily Evans to James Potter: when you wake up you should probably come round
James Potter: im awake now
Lily Evans: wow an early one
Lily Evans: how was last night
James Potter: well four glasses are broken and peter slept on the dishwasher so standard but i also said how i feel about you to you so incredibly not standard
Lily Evans: yeah about that
Lily Evans: how do you feel about me now your single beer has worn off and the nights over
James Potter: the same
Lily Evans: well you should def come round then
Lily Evans: quite hard 2 kiss u dramatically if ur not here
James Potter: i know ur againist breaking the law and all but you cant say smth like that and expect me not to speed
/
Sirius Black to when will someone offer to eat LUPINS ASS at the museum holiday party c’mon guys he has needs: turns out lily was lighting fires in james heart all along
Lily Evans: jfc
Remus Lupin: i mean what is the correct reaction to that
Marlene McKinnon: removing him from the chat
1K notes · View notes
kae-karo · 5 years
Text
lmao so i thought someone asked for an analysis of the gwf vid like i could’ve sworn i had that ask so y’all just have to deal with me posting it anyway here ya go lads golf gone sexual™: the final edition
the fucking. the pirate outfits. the. i’m. i don’t. i can’t. (x) ‘left over from somewhere’
fucking phil ‘u lost ur stick last time i think’ yeah phil sure yeah sure okay buddy
‘choke me daddy festive edition’ @ dan pls stop
what cuties i love them just not actually knowing what they’re doing and messing it up and these awkward long pauses before they burst into a fit of giggles i love them
why did they even bring up the ‘winter update’ like it had no relevance??
crinkly boye
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don’t worry i can host dan what are u even on about
phil out here coming up with a great vid name (yo ho ho) and they went with battle for the booty smh that says everything u ever need to know abt dnp
wow even in this year of 2018 we got yet another ur mum joke (and phil’s right we do love kath)
@ dan pls stop ur bf from making weird hand gestures okay that’s,,,,,it’s unnecessary
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hi they cute
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‘u absolute twit nipple’ how on earth does that still sound so fond what the fuck
and another ur mum joke wow i just,,,,wow
the way dan says ‘oh my god that was good’ like. he never sounds like that??? it’s a good sound he should sound like it more often idk it’s like soft and genuine in a sort of ‘wow i did okay??’ kinda cute surprised way??
‘stop talking about how close this is’ dan,,,,,,really u thought that was bad??? really??? really?????
phil’s deep-voiced yarr and dan’s literal only reaction being that he should’ve made a pun out of it leads me to believe philip does that deep voice often enough that dan is entirely unfazed and idk how i feel abt that
‘just bounced off the rim that’s how i like to play it, don’t go in, just bounce off it’ that cheeky fuckin smile daniel please can u not
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lmao the pirate outfit is unlucky hm
hi i love dan’s lil trying-not-to-smile-but-just-about-to-smile smile when he’s staring at phil it makes me happy
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how did they spend ten minutes (okay ten full seconds) trying to figure out the name of the wheel
dan: makes f/phat booty pun, phil: ‘they’re just filled with ass they’re not even coins’
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same dan
important content
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ik everyone’s said it by now but dan’s choice of adjective was great and i’m here for it (’gaily jumping off the ship’)
dan’s lil smile when phil’s ‘gaily adjusting his stance’
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dimply boye
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how does phil just blatantly ignore ‘phil’s edging us guys’ like idk i mean i hyperfocus too but like damn they really must just talk about that kind of stuff on a regular basis bc u don’t just tune that out y’know
phil’s distracted ‘that is so much ass’
‘yarrs’ carries the same energy as when dan made the ‘ain’t no gravy up in this kitch’ joke in the bunny biscuits vid and stared at phil and waited for his joke to be acknowledged
my kink is dan looking hilariously fond abt phil making bad sex-related comments (’it’s a strap-on’)
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hey phil u know if u swear in another language it’s still swearing right?
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did dan just absolutely commit to the harder flag?? without saying anything abt it? even though he lost?
phil just. out here. purposely almost-swearing. we stan
ik i saw this joke elsewhere but phil ur literally staring at a posh pirate mmkay b
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i just wanna know what was going through dan’s head with ‘oingo boingo i’m a dick’ bc like. u okay there b??
ye dan we know ur geometry skills are quite lacking but glad the whole reference thing just keeps on coming up
‘they’re gonna do an exam about me and everyone’s gonna get an A star’ i mean that’s living in the phandom isn’t it? We all aspire to be phil trash, even though only One can hold the ultimate title
okay like take five seconds and take a step back they’re literally just playing golf i love how stupidly competitive they get it’s adorable
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‘oh dear’ makin a comeback
plankspank.com why are they like this (at least phil didn’t buy the domain this time)
danny u have picked up ur husband’s habit of making a cawing noise whenever u get a birdie
why does he do this
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physically in pain
fucking hell dan why do u have to make this so goddamn sexual i didn’t ask for this i didn’t want u talkin bout how it was a slow one and u put it in and jfc look i read phanfiction for a reason i don’t actually wanna know what ur sex life is like okay
britney spears references wow is it 2010 again or is that just all the foreplay golf,,,,,play,,,,,
dan,,,,,,,,
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re: the tentacle: ‘that is gonna be right,,,,somewhere’ dan we got it u did not have to add ‘right in the poop deck’ and ur fucking noise okay we did Not need that
i lied earlier my kink is dan saying he cannot believe smth
this is just becoming a masterpost of all the weird faces dan makes
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‘it’s part of the loser station for idiots who get everything wrong’ ???? dan help i can’t tell are u a seven y.o child who makes up mean insults when u lose or a twenty-seven year old adult who makes sex jokes n innuendos bc this vid is giving me mixed vibes
🎶🎶there she goes, there she goes again🎶🎶
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awwwww matching nerds
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dan n his fuckin squeaky i’m-making-fun-of-u voice
‘some people are just skilled booty raiders’ #dantops2k18
Important Dan Fact™ if u can see his lil corner of his mouth u can bet u could see his dimple on the other side and i’m suing bc we can’t see it
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why did it take them like 3 tries to figure out they had to time it with the cannons i mean it’s like they’ve never played a vid game in their lives
bite it danny boy u know u want to u also know if it were the other way round phil would’ve bitten at dan’s finger
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more dan face
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phil absolutely going off topic with ‘sometimes i want to explore with fashion’ and dan’s immediate ‘oh do u now phil lmao’
‘so many textures out there’ he cute
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i mean dan cute too but phil cute for sayin it
we stan boyfriends with literally the same brain whining abt lazy rivers and rude kids
hi sorry i just love watching phil when dan’s talking bc he pays so much attention like he used to not do that (back in the day) but like he just really turns and focuses on dan now and it makes me happy
i know we all adore dan’s ‘shut up’ but it always gives me life hearing phil tell dan to shut up
fond daniel
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also phil’s super cute soft natural voice when he’s talking about how he keeps saying ‘watch this’
has phil ever gotten this frustrated with gwf lmao
‘bollocks’ as if that’s a thing they say
just kiss him phil goddamn i mean u wanna win right what better way to throw him off his game
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why did maximum yeet have to become a thing i s2g
‘why am i helping’ bc u have absolutely no willpower and u want phil to be happy bc it makes u happy that’s why
why,,,,,,,why does everything satisfying have to be sexual phil, why. just. why. and then? golf gone sexual? as if that’s not a better title for the goddamn vid than ‘battle for the booty’ at least it’s accurate??? ‘battle for the booty’ i expect them dueling irl over who gets to top next or some shit that is why u call a vid ‘battle for the booty’
dan,,,,,,pls let ur bf make the weird noises okay
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hi sorry what the Fuck is this
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is that meant to be a monkey or some shit like what???????
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that is a skeleton pirate thing what the hell
why does he have such a long face
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idk they cute when they look at each other like they're like having a serious convo even tho they aren’t (although i wouldn’t be shocked if making puns is an important point of communication between them)
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also fun fact i heard phil saying ‘jewel’ for the first like five times instead of duel
phil, realizing he’s said something he shouldn’t have
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a cute
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hi once again i love them
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phil doing his face covering thing why does he always look at least 3x cuter when he’s doing it whilst staring at dan
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‘i got the octopus, he’s gonna marry me, we’re gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib’
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same dan same
and then he turns around n says ‘spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan’ wtf is wrong with them
‘u love a good tentacle don’t u’ show me where i asked
dan, actually considering how that would feel with all the tentacles:
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how did they go from phil saying ‘you love a good tentacle’ to saying ‘(you/we) should get some of those’ to dan saying ‘no, you shouldn’t’ like uhm. wot
this
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compunctionjunction · 7 years
Text
70 horrible questions
I was tagged by the lovely @1of1prism thank u my guy <3
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Maybe better than some people but probably also worse than a lot of people lol. Sometimes I go to people’s houses and I’m like ???what is this “communication”. Also depends on the day and parent. i have an entire tag devoted to my dad lol
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? I dunno probs my mom or one of my friends 
03: Do you regret anything? Lots
04: Are you insecure? "My insecurities have insecurities” tho tbh i’m gettin pretty good. 
05: What is your relationship status? Single and not ready to mingle
06: How do you want to die? in control and ready 2 go
07: What did you last eat? cream of chicken soup... chocolate frozen yogurt... caramel pudding....... I just had my wisdom teeth out.......give me real food......
08: Played any sports? Never, in my life. The audacity.
09: Do you bite your nails? Ahuh! Sometimes!
10: When was your last physical fight? ive never been in a 2-way fight but the most recent 1-sided one was probs in gr 6 when one of my friends (aha) dragged me across the classroom by my hair lol
11: Do you like someone? No :\
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? try 72 hon
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? lol trump (im not changing ur answer sophie cause its accurate lol) also anyone who aligns w him and rn all the conservative MPs for being dicks and a lot more I’m full of hatred rn 
14: Do you miss someone? i miss being able to eat real 
15: Have any pets? my sister has 2 ferrets :\ but she moved out so no
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? my face hurts
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? made out a cheque to my haters (just kidding i have no money and no haters i just was trying to be funny. im sorry. i need humour right now.)
18: Are you scared of spiders? i mean i think it depends on how dark it is and how big the spider is tbh 
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? i dunno i’ll need an informed consent form
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? :\ 
21: What are your plans for this weekend? first i gotta recover and then i gotta finish like 5 papers and hang with people and have a sleepover and hang with more ppl and watch a bunch of tv
22: Do you want to have kids? How many? I want to give birth to 0 kids tho I am still undecided on adoption etc. I’d probs be a rly good godmother tho like im just sayin. @1of1prism @purewhiteflames​ ;)) 
23: Do you have piercings? How many? no piercings as of yet tho i wanna get my ears pierced i think. but my dad disapproves of anything like that so i’d probs have to wait to either move out or be financially independent lol
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? rn? english, women and gender studies, most things involving research-based papers where i have free reign over the topic 
25: Do you miss anyone from your past? lotsa ppl tbh
26: What are you craving right now? food........that i can eat........ chickenmelts........hamburgers......pizza........pasta......... :’(
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? prob lol but do i care
28: Have you ever been cheated on? we’ve all been cheated on.......by the system.....
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? that would require having one
30: What’s irritating you right now? my goddamn jaw and people eating food I can’t eat in front of me. my parents had mcdonalds yesterday. you know what i had. a milkshake. my sister brought home bacon wrapped scallops. I haven’t had scallops in like 2 years cause they’ve doubled in price and the one time we have scallops let alone frickin bacon wrapped scallops (like what the hell what kinda fancyass lunch) I cant FRICKIN eat it. Oh but I can smell it. I can hear u crunching on these foods. “Mmmmm!” ya shut up.
31: Does somebody love you? Do you know how popular I am? I am soooo popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.
32: What is your favourite color? black and hot pink together
33: Do you have trust issues? ...........why are u asking..........what will u do with that info.......
34: Who/what was your last dream about? NO FREAKING JOKE!!!!!! i HAD A FRICKIN DREAM WHERE DANNY DEVITO CAME TO MY HOUSE WITH THIS LADY AND THEY TRIED TO BUY MY HOUSE AND MY MOM WAS LIKE “no..” AND THEY WERE SO MAD AND DANNY DEVITO TRIED TO STEAL THE HOUSE KEYS BUT I CAUGHT HIM JUST IN TIME like what kinda fake tumblr text post but it’s real i really dreamed that. I honestly can’t believe it. I would doubt it myself except I told someone abt it right away when I woke up. so now i will never forget.
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom and this nurse because I woke up in a cot after being high on laughing gas and some other drug and steroids so not only did I wake up and I didn’t know where I was and no one was there and there was like an hour gap in my consciousness but I was coming off a high LOL
36: Do you give out second chances too easily? definitely not lol I give 2nd chances on rare occasions but as a general rule if u break my trust I won’t trust u in the same way again lol “trust is like a mirror. u can fix it if it’s broke. but u can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection”
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm forgive i guess
38: Is this year the best year of your life? well not politically or in a global sense but in terms of like self-growth and stuff I’m doing pretty well so far I’m doin pretty good. workin hard... having fun.. loving myself.. 
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? i have never in my life sullied my lips with someone else’s bacteria-laden lips
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? n.........o
51: Favourite food? chicken pasta alfredo, chicken pie, chicken vol au vents, chickenmelts, eggs benedict, um, double chocolate fudge tart from dufflet... hmm, Sophie’s dad’s lasagna and also pasta al fuerno or whatever that’s called like yum, uh.. it’s really easy to list these off when i CAN’T HAVE ANY OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also poutine, and I also rly like Subway (ham and cheese on italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, onion, pickles, and mayonaisse, toasted...) 
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? kind of but I tried to explain it to someone once and they were like ??????what ur saying makes no sense and contradicts itself and i was like ya probably lol
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? watched a bad tv show my parents were watching and drank a giant mcdonalds milkshake and iced my face
54: Is cheating ever okay? honestly who am i to judge ur relationship and forgiveness and stuff but like imo if someone cheats on u they don’t respect u as an equal in that relationship or probably as a human
55: Are you mean? i can be a bit of a dick tbh but most of the time when i say something mean in my head im like “why is my mouth saying//why are my fingers typing these horrible ass things??”
56: How many people have you fist fought? well ive never used my fists on anyone but 2 people have punched me in the stomach does that count lol
57: Do you believe in true love? at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck, you’re an asshole, but i love you... so much i think it must be true love, true love. it must be tru-e love, no one else could break my heart like yo-o-o-o-o-o. yo-o-o-o-oh, oh-o-o-oh (No)
58: Favourite weather? either when its foggy and tranquil or when its like 23-25 degrees and sunny but also there’s some clouds so it’s not like direct hot sun on u but it’s still warm enough to wear shorts
59: Do you like the snow? i like when it’s snowing and quiet and peaceful and i like lying down in the snow and having that feeling of hearing everything kind of muted? but ya i hate slush and ice and stuff 
60: Do you wanna get married? not really but i might for tax benefits LOL
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? No, get that shit away from me
62: What makes you happy? lots of things especially seeing other people happy and genuine
63: Would you change your name? Maybe tbh it’s something i’m thinking abt right now cause I’m not a super fan of my name but maybe not officially and I also don’t wanna start shit with my fam I think my mom would be upset lol 
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? ya cause they don’t exist lol
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well thats nice cause I like him too but what’s with this “opposite sex” bs like i know what u mean but like 
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? like seriously it’s not a real thing sex and gender are both constructs it’s a spectrum, a range. my buddy. pal. listen. (also ya i like to think anyone in our friend group but like probs john cause I can be scathing with those guys but as if i’d ever be vulnerable around them LOL)
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? like ur gonna keep going with this. ur gonna keep doing this. thats fine. but i can give u some reading. like i have all these pdfs if ur interested. no joke. and if pdfs are unaccessible to u i also have a bunch of youtube links. like hon. (my dad)
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? wow i dont even know if i can tag u back @1of1prism cause if im being honest i think it was @purewhiteflames oops, yikes!!!
69: Do you believe in soulmates? no but i do think there are people that u are much more compatible with than other people
70: Is there anyone you would die for? i dunno we’ll see if/when it happens lol
I’m not gonna put anyone else through this so you can say I tagged u if u wanna do it but like lol
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