#did i blind u

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[landfilloftrash]

seeing ghosts everywhere you go?

are they all in your head or are they here causing that chill in your bones?

#my art #Ace Attorney #Miles Edgeworth #Phoenix Wright #Gregory Edgeworth #Manfred von Karma #i think the concept of him seeing Actual Ghosts is delightful and should be expanded upon because YES. GET HAUNTED BITCH (affectionate)— #however; Metaphorical ones. Things he didn’t expect to see after Gregory was gone #the boy you have raised being like his father in every way you did not expect and it blind siding you every time no matter how you prepare #and the man who finally takes you down from your pedestal of godhood having the same gumption and determination #as the only man who could go against you toe to toe in court and scarred you in more ways than one #Manfred von Karma sees ghosts; it’s just up to your interpretation whether or not they’re real or crafted from his own guilt #rea rambles in the tags #small side note; it is *so* incredibly fun to draw him clutching his shoulder I’m sorry if you notice it a lot from me. ok thats it thank u #rea’s trash

[ilynpilled]

“jaime did it mostly for self preservation” “he did it bc he was ordered to kill his father” are not only blatantly incorrect and borderline illiterate reads of what is in the text but idk why people find it unfathomable that someone like jaime would want to prevent thousands of people from violently burning alive. like it is not actually a difficult moral equation which is why it is at the center of jaime’s arc and his relationship to his society because he realizes that the ethical constructs of westeros seem to be in opposition to this very obvious moral choice as seen by how the situation could even escalate to the point that it does through the enablement of the tyrant by the respected institution of the kingsguard and the uncritical upholding of the honor system over an actual coherent moral code. same with the scorn he receives for killing what everybody acknowledges as an objectively horrid tyrant who harmed innocents and violated law that knights are also sworn to protect and uphold and actually contradict by not acting against.

#like u guys r so blinded by agenda posting that it gets mind numbing #seeing ppl that otherwise r not illiterate repeat these points actually kills me #i should be studying but here i am pissing and crying again #and the whole ‘oh he only did it when it was convenient’ that is not the point the point is that he kept upholding what the kg represented #until he was pushed far enough to break and throw it all away #we see that he keeps challenging it and keeps being shut down until it reaches a breaking point #it isnt framed as ‘oh jaime now knows that he can do this bc tywins here haha’ #its just he finally reaches the obvious breaking point #bc someone out there has to stop a nuke #and it all becomes clear #jaime doesnt have to be the paragon of virtue to do this but yes he has the awareness and the moral code to do the right thing #how contrarian brained do u have to be to take this away

[vyeoh]

I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard

#vio.txt #mcu #marvel #jessica jones #daredevil #also the two of them induced so much bi panic in me. also gender envy. jessica jones is one of the few women i get gender envy fron #the iron fist and luke cage shows were...more mid but still leagues above current marvel shows #like. yes be anti-mcu but these were masterpieces #and yes this is why i was so pissed about them putting daredevil in she hulk and trying to make him iron man 2.0 #like! yes hes suave and charming but thats bc its his lawyer job!! he works in a law firm he and his friends started to serve his community #he is NOT 'i am rich and better than u' charming. he is 'i learned how to talk fancy for my degree and i have empathy' charming #and not bringing the other guys over either???? bruhhh #marvel really cancelled the best things they did on the screen #matt murdock my original red and black round glasses wearing sadboy what did they do to you #also!! can i mention that these shows had such better representation than nowadays marvel #murdock's actor doing extensive research on blind motility for the role #jessica and trish's friendship and how trish immediately believes jess about kilgrave #the whole!!! unique community feel of harlem and in luke's bar #hogarth whos both jessica's employer and foggy's boss in later seasons being a lesbian and having Real Marriage Issues #and also being a conplex and kinda shitty person #iron fist was....eh but that's why it was the worst one lmao #OH YEAH HOW COULD I FORGET MY GIRL KAREN #karen page getting a whole storyline in s1 about her dealing w ptsd and then getting fleshed out backstory and her own adventures #like ok it was kinda weird in daredevil that she dated like every guy bc she was the female lead 💀 #but even then foggy and matt and her figuring their shit out like adults. like they shot their shots and it didnt pan out. still besties th #disney would never allow such good writing in current times #but a boy can wish

[galedekkarios]

"how could anyone ship bloodweave they make no sense at all" did you think about their stories, their motives, their ailments, their shared hobbies, the subtle progression of their relationship throughout the acts, and how very similar they can be despite being different. i know that you didn't but if you had then perhaps you would understand why some people might ship them, especially since a) you can successfully romance them in an origin run thus making it possible, b) astarion already tries flirting with gale unprompted in act 1, and c) you can romance astarion with a good-aligned pc and romance gale with an evil-aligned pc. so, like. what's not clicking

#bloodweave #<- fuck it . look at my post fellow bloodweavers #you don't have to ship it yourself. but to pretend it's so whacky and outrageous and insane and a total crackship..... #cmon. you can easily take crumbs and make something out of it. you can easily take all of these similarities and force them to see them #and act on them in a way that the game doesn't. astarion comes on to him in act 1 and gale comes around later. you can easily #take that and run with it. ascended astarion being super ambitious meets the literal god of ambition. #like..... again.... you don't have to ship it..... but it's not insane lol. #and gale is good-hearted but he Does support some questionable things in the name of power bc thts his blind spot. #i just . You Can Just Say You Don't Personally Like It. that's a fine and dandy thing to say #i very much did not like st3ddi3 but i understood why ppl liked it even if it wasn't my cup of tea. #anyway. it's 3am and tumblr only ever wants to recommend me untagged anti-bw posts instead of actual bw content LMAO 😭😭😭 #like girl why did u think i would enjoy that......... how is ur ai this bad bro like cmonnnnnnnnnn

[thankstothe]

#house md #gregory house #james wilson #chi park #screencap #s08e14 “Love Is Blind” #the choices were made #give your homies a knowing look #like what was that #“yeah we both seen birthmark on my dick” #did he communicate here “yes wilson u know it ill whip my dick out in public the first chance i get” #that stupid photo behind house is breaking me

[thesilverlock]

pierce ➣ dynamics: "Whenever I look at you..."

While their ''miscommunication flirting'' brings some levity, it can’t distract from the greater issues for long. Jey is running from the war. He had to find a way to understand why choosing only Order made him feel like he was splitting. Needed to pursue Chaos, away from a group who kept villainizing it. He’s using 96. In a similar whatever way 96 is probably using him. Not that it should matter. The Number is Astral’s evil copy, not an individual. Just a cheap, broken replica., , ,,

>>extra zexoodle

#zexal oc #zexal #| pierceshipping ✶٭༌ | #| ultravioletshipping ✶٭༌ | #(( had this in the drafts since before christmas #and idk why they turned out looking kinda wack to me. And yassified? 😭 )) #ANYWAY WHATEVER I just wanted this o u t )) #| my oc ❦ | #| mist ✦ | #| saved ✧ | #(( Art started out a lot cuter and straightforward #but then I remembered ppl know a lot less about pierce.. and don’t know why they work #so no hand-holding this time. No blind throwing fluff out there and hoping the memo gets got like I did w/ Golden. #Pierce is gonna torture y’all in real time same as they tortured me. Prepare )) #no96 blackmist #no 96 black mist #number 96: dark mist #no. 96 black mist #no.96 black mist #number 96 (zexal)

[lexosaurus]

Important Question:

If we're going with the headcannon that Phantom's suit automatically reforms each time he switches into ghost mode, no matter the circumstances, then what happens to any other clothes that Danny puts on in ghost mode?

Like say Phantom's suit tears so someone loans him a shirt and sweatpants. Danny puts on the clothing on in ghost mode, then he gets knocked out so he automatically reverts to human mode. Then he gets up and switches back to ghost mode, so the suit would have reformed where the borrowed shirt and sweatpants were.

So where the fuck did those clothes go?

Did they just disappear into the aether? Are they floating somewhere on a lost island in the Zone somewhere? Did they appear back on their shelf in the closet? What the fuck happened to those clothes?

Please guys I'm in the middle of writing and I literally can't move past this scene idk what the fuck happened to the clothes Danny's borrowing what do I SAY?

#danny phantom #please im literally begging for answers #i've never been confronted with this issue before now #my whole life i could just happily turn a blind eye to this lapse in physics #like some oblivious goddamn cretin #AND NOW HERE I AM #STARING AT MY GOOGLE DOC WHILE HANS ZIMMER PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND #I LOVE U HANS BUT THE DUNE SOUNDTRACK IS NOT HELPING TO QUEL MY ANXIETY #WHERE THE FUCK DID THESE CLOTHES GO

[spacedlexi]

thinking about clem vi and minnie

#cant stop thinking about them....the Drama of it all.....the Gay Drama of it all #SORRYYY but like.... vi and minnie only ending their relationship bc vi thought minnie died and couldnt save her and blamed herself..... #vi finding out minnie was traded off by marlon and did not actually die #and finding out shes working for the enemy and vi has to accept the fact that the Real minnie is gone #the way minnie basically called vi a coward implying there mightve been some tension in their relationship(right after re-meeting after 1yr #the weird tension and mental battle between clem and minnie bc they are like 2 sides of the same coin #(and clem is dating her ex and taking her family) #vi reassuring clem that none of this changes her feelings for her and will go to battle against minnie for their friends #vi either getting kidnapped by the delta (bc clem doesnt save her) and brainwashed by minnie to act against her friends and fight clem #vs her saving clem from minnie by shooting her with her own crossbow with no hesitation other than a plead to stop (still makes me scream) #vi not being able to leave minnie alone and injured #brainwashed vi getting blinded in the explosion #ep 4 minnie not hesitating to try to kill vi for tenn #clem and minnie fighting to the Death #minnie being the reason clem gets bit..one last fuck you #vi having to leave clem on the other side of the fence leading to clem getting bit #s4 didnt have to give us one of the gayest drama-iest side plots in a game but it did and i still cant get over it #hehe hehe hehe :) :) :) infested with brain worms #thank u twdg s4 for existing i love u #need to draw more clem/vi/minnie tension #and also clem and minnie fighting i love when they fight #started replaying s4 but im taking it sooooooo sllooowwwlllyy i cant wait to get to ep3 this shit was written specifically for me #it speaks #twdg

[sillylittleguyinatrenchcoat]

LONG TIME NO MILGRAMPOSTING so how we feeling abt backdraft boys….

#LOTS of fuuta this batch he deserves to be celebrated #he absolutely OBLITERATED this trial #like FUCK props to arthur lounsbery my life is yours #he’s on the road to forgiven too im so proud of my little angry chihuahua #i voted forgiven ofc who do you think i am….. im his whiteknight ill always forgive him #jokes aside he does NOT deserve to be voted unforgiven like. my boy is straight up suicidal and nearly half-blind. despite being one of the #only characters who didnt MEAN to kill anyone #like yeah he fucked up and hes in denial but hes literally being CRUSHED by his guilt. and we’re doing the same thing he did #can u tell i love fuuta kajiyama #ANYWAYS tag time whoo #milgram #milgram memes #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #yuno kashiki #shidou kirisaki #kazui mukuhara

[puppyeared]

if you're walking at 5mph, but your feet are on sideways, and the sky turns green at 2:53, and Keanu Reeves has been sent to Neptune, what's your favorite video game

i cant walk 5mph in the first place, im only 5'4 and i have to walk like marvin the fucking martian everywhere i go

if my feet were on sideways i would still manage to get my shoes on wrong because i cant tell my left from my right

if the sky turns green that means every single car on the road is allowed to go at the same time

keanu reeves cant be sent to neptune with an expired passport

my favorite videogame MIGHT be professor layton and the diabolical box just because ive never been able to get over the ending, but mario galaxy and deltarune also come to mind

#this was very fun to answer thank u :o) ive always loved multiple choice questions #maybe if i had more multiple choice in my life id be able to get things done faster just closing my eyes and hoping for the best #its amazing that i dont own a magic eight ball. it would do wonders for my natural indecision and superstition #also to be fair ive only played the first two layton games even though i have the 3rd and 4th games on my cracked cartridge #BUT thats because my copy of unwound future is ass and it freezes on the opening cutscene so i cant even play it. sigh #maybe i should consider getting the mobile remastered versions but im lazy and i dont even know if i have enough storage space #there should be enough space on my ipad though so maybe. or ill back up some files to make room idk #i would have also answered undertale bc i had a huge undertale phase when it came out but im gonna be honest. ive never actually played it #im actually wondering if i should buy a copy for myself for xmas using grays steam account #the only thing im worried about is my motor skills are bad with keyboard and im dreading the asgore fight bc i heard its hard #but ive also never watched a full playthru so i feel like id be going into the game blind which sounds exciting. and ill prbably cry a lot #besides that ive been replaying mario galaxy with gray and i forgot how good the game is.. i love the ambience and game mechanics #although the races are so nerve wracking and i hate the controls sometimes. did u know i died on loopdeloop galaxy TWELVE FUCKING TIMES #also deltarune because i love EVERYTHING abt it i love the lore i love SUSIE i love the whole thing kris has going on #yapping #ask

[maedre13]

calmly adds another incident to the growing evidence-why-we-can't-trust-John-fully-right-now list and tries not to cry

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T SEE THE KEYS????! THEY WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!! #A BLIND MAN FOUND THEM QUICKER THAN YOU DID #John i love u but WHY are you being so suspicious right now!!!! #malevolent #malevolent podcast #maedre13 #john #arthur lester

[gncrezan]

“I like to think I’m just good enough. Come on, peach. Those muffins we made earlier are calling our names.”

NICKMANCERS WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER...!!!! from @mrs-theirin and her nick/sabrina fic, something i’ve been meaning to draw a little something for since it dropped and i’ve only just really been able to get around to it

#nick wiseman brand domesticity and kindness and understanding. the way that fic made me nearly die. #my art #partially thank u very much quill for sending in that valentines ask cause i'd just been exhausted for so long and it just made me smile!!!! #i know it wasnt much but it rly did make my day LOL #nick wiseman #sabrina cadogan #mind blind #if only technically.... into the tag it goes #hope this pose and whatever makes sense . to me nick is dropping the worst pick up line of all time #and sabrina is exasperatedly (lovingly) wiping the flour off his face that is making him look even goofier (cuter) #and yes have i been a bit obsessed with pink and yellow . yes. i think its pretty and also fitting bc of the nickname #how am i supposed to resist meaningful little colors like that. i CANT

[celestie0]

if u drive a tesla. fuck u

#the amt of times ive almost been whacked outta my lane by a tesla driver that doesnt know how to fuckin merge #like how do u not see me??? bitch dont u have blind spot CAMERAS??? #driving like yall own the freeway #esp the white tesla drivers #go fuck yourselves #sneak into the carpool lane cuz ur st00pid hov pass and then when u wanna take ur exit u merge out like ur the only person on the planet #eat dirt srs #matter of fact i’ll shove ur face in the dirt #like ur 2nd grade bullies probably did bc i bet u were miserable back then too #loser status ur whole life #anyways #road rage

[heich0e]

Shoko doesn’t even come close to their relationship. Even after all these years, it wasn’t until season 2 that we see that shoko was a friend of theirs. Gojo is a lonely man

i literally cannot talk about shoko bc i have too much to say on it. that's my GIRL

#liv got mail #ppl are always like 'GEGE DID SHOKO WRONG!!' and i don't disagree that he is suffering from shonen mangaka misogynitis #i don't think it's fair to say she 'doesn't come close' to their relationship #hers was just Different than theirs was #can you IMAGINE how that must feel though? in light of everything? #but i also think there's something very POIGNANT abt how gojo NEGLECTS shoko and her friendship and her involvement in his past #'i was there wasn't i' YEAH YOU WERE BABY WE KNOW THAT WE LOVE U #gojo is not a perfect person. he can be blind to certain things. that's literally the Whole Point #gojo looks back on geto and what transpired there and it's like all he can see is Him

[rhymaes]

the 'I knew him first' vs 'I knew him fully' & all the ensuing gratifications and absences that mark the Xianle trio's understanding of Xie Lian opposed to Hua Cheng's. THAT is devastation baby!!!

#i loved him despite vs i loved him because LIKEEEEEEEEEEEEE a devotion always at your back door waiting to be let in #opposed to the supposedly conditional devotion on your doorstep #one must shrink so the other can rise & neither can coexist because they exist in complete opposition #and this is SUCHHHHHHHHHHH a long way of me saying that hua cheng and feng xin will always be xie lian's #biggest supporters & the reason feng xin is included in that is because of how xia lian knows him & knows what devotion #is to him & how it is expressed & that age & affiliation are tags that pull you apart as much as they string you together #AND I LOVED YOU FOR WHAT YOU WERE FOR WHAT YOU ARE EVEN WHEN I COULDNT SEE IT BECAUSE I WAS BLIND BUT I WANT TO COME BACK BECAUSE #I NEVER TRULY STOPPED BELIEVING AND LOVING YOU EVEN IF I DID IT WRONG #anywayYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY can u tell. can u tell how ucking. much the xianle trio's relationship to each other means to me #esp in light of hua cheng's unwavering devotion when its like. as much as we would like that to be a permenant reality---thats actually the #outlier behavior here lmaoooooooooo your love will forever be overshadowed because of a SUPERPOWER LOVE NO ONE KNEW COULD EXIST UNTIL IT DI #& also hes a devestation so like. watch out haha #tgcf #heaven official's blessing