Pa’Bravo Tu
Escribimos de manera sencilla, la vida nos enseña que desde nuestra acera observamos el mundo de diferente manera; la Tia Juana, una vez por allá en Catia, al oeste de la gran Caracas, en unas elecciones mientras me llevaba al colegio en la Ramòn Isidro Montes al final de avenida España, hoy muy cerca de plaza Sucre, recuerdo el trayecto, estaba repleto en las paredes de propaganda y afiches pegados con maicena de AD, COPEI, URD, MEP, MIR, PRIN y toda la pelambre de la época, me dijo...(nunca se me olvidó su postura como ciudadana) ... - Ayyyy sobrino no te pongas a creé en los políticos esos carajos al final de la pachanga todos se comen el mismo postre con frijol, mientras nosotros vamos a está con las pepas de ojos esmirriados y con la lengua afuera.
Era el año 1964, tiempos de Guerrilla, las FALN estaban por todo el país; con apenas 10 años veo en sueños como aún la ciudad estaba inundada y atestada en las cuadras y paredes de informaciòn de los candidatos, ya había ganado las elecciones el ciudadano Raúl Leoni, el mismo que pudiera ser interpretado en una novela cursi por César Miguel Rondón; de pana que estos carajos salvando las distancias, parecen sin que ellos se hayan percatado hermanos, digamos los brothers del tufito democrático impregnados de creolina. La pureza de la Soberanía Total según los manuales de Joseph Goebbels.
Por cierto este último años atrás también estaba tocado por chifladuras nazistas y estuvo con Adolfito Hitler su jefe hasta el último momento, luego que este se suicidara con Eva Braun el 30 de Abril de 1945, presenció la cremación de ambos ese mismo día en un acto de máxima lealtad psicotrópica.
Tal vez haya que explicarles a los chamos de ahora que el camarada desaparecido Carlos Lanz desde hace más de 5 meses en la Venezuela Bolivariana, militaba en esos tiempos violentos en los movimientos de izquierda con el PRV ... Todavía ahora Enero 2021 en Redes Sociales estamos plegados a cuestionar y encarar la situación del profesor, pareciera que ahora a la moda invisibilizada o callada desde los medios de comunicación tradicionales.
¿Quién asume con valentía la explicación de cómo van las investigaciones, las diligencias para encontrarlo, las pesquisas?
¡O será que el tan mentado Poder Popular, la Masa, los cercanos por compromiso o familiaridad o nexos no merecen una explicación!
Cuánto valor y condición humana se necesita para ser líder social, este es el gran dilema de cualquier revolución... El hacerse responsable del por ahora no es solamente tomarse una tacita de sopa y galletas con pepitona: se necesitan verdaderos cojones y ovarios arrechísimos para cambiar la coyuntura y aumentar la autoestima colectiva.
Este es el verdadero ingrediente y flow de cualquier líder de avanzada en estos tiempos.
... Camarada de luchas y debates, Carlos Lanz, nuestros respetos para ti, fortaleza y energía infinita para familiares y allegados ...
¿A que viene toda esta introducciòn?... Coño sigamos en la onda insurgente de Jamás Quedarnos Callados, que desde las sombras de nuestras ciudades, municipios, urbanizaciones y barrios han llegado los momentos de organizar a nuestra gente, igualitos como nosotros, es un trabajo de ir corriendo la voz porque al final de la pachanga todos los responsables de la política se comen el mismo postre con frijol... y nosotros desde nuestros espacios familiares vamos viendo que no se resuelve nada...
Digan lo que digan, nos están cayendo a muelas, esa es la sensación, la percepción colectiva carajo, con las debidas excepciones, nos imaginamos y nos consta que hay hombres y mujeres, cuadros verdaderos, que realmente si le están echando un camión de esfuerzo, esos, los insustituibles, trabajan con eficiencia, con lealtad, con compromiso hacia el legado moral de Hugo Rafael Chávez, de Simón Bolívar , de los cientos de miles de mujeres y hombres que han ofrendado sus vidas para llegar a esta generación ... sin embargo con un Presidente elegido Constitucionalmente, con una Asamblea Nacional en mayoría, con todos los Poderes Morales en control... Fiscalía, Tribunal Supremo, Procuraduría, Defensoría del Pueblo, con una cartelúa Sundde - Superintendencia Nacional para la Defensa de los Derechos Socioeconómicos ... Verga que nombrecito tan arrecho... Y con toda la participación de cuatriboleados, ministros, superministros, alcaldes, gobernaciones, asesores, especialistas, doctores y magisteres... verga mi pana, se montó la Gata en la Batea... Nos están cayendo a muelas...
Algo muy feo para el país sigue pasando y no pasa nada en resultados o decisiones desde los liderazgos, mientras transcurren los días, ¿o es que no estamos aguantando una pela endemoniada que para comer normalito se nos hace una recontracoñísima aventura demasiado dramática, angustiante conseguir la manera de al menos alimentarnos de manera sensata?
Millones de familias, de ciudadanos están siendo empalados por la situación y las cúpulas que verdaderamente están de pinga mi pana... aquí sufrimos chavistas, oposición e indiferentes... mientras las alturas financieras, los entarimados comerciales que actúan de manera criminal en las redes de distribución de los precios de bienes esenciales están gozando la grande con sus enormes ganancias en moneda e intereses.
Y esto sin meter el transporte, las medicinas, la educación, el esparcimiento, el cachondeo, la cultura, la educación, el vestido y el calzado, cada día más nos parecemos a MACONDO el pueblo que se volvió leña y se destruyò de manera dantesca en varias novelas de Gabriel García Márquez.
Todos sabemos, no es secreto para nadie que hasta para morirse aquí nos metemos en un rolitranko de peo financiero que se lo dejamos a nuestros familiares que como puedan deberán asumir esa carga como una deuda bien cuesta arriba de pagar.
Pa’Bravo Tu... es el mensaje, es el temazo, estamos siendo impepinablemente afectados por una enorme pela generacional, allí desde el dolor miserable en esas millones de familias hay chavistas, oposición e indiferentes en situación directo tempranamente al Rigor Mortis, mientras las cúpulas que asignan los precios criminales están gozando un puyero y llenándose hasta los miércoles de millones de millones de billetes...
No estamos proponiendo odios, trifulcas, guerras civiles, apartheid, coñazas colectivas, NO ... en el marco de la PAZ SOCIAL asumimos la organización de los movimientos humanos para entrompar a estos grandísimos miserables que son venezolanos jodiendo a venezolanos que ahora se valen del dolor ajeno, están asfixiando a millones de mujeres y hombres llevándolos a una situación extrema de inanición.
No queremos seguir estando con las pepas de ojos esmirriados y con la lengua afuera.
No nos merecemos este tipo de vida, la Venezuela del siglo XXI, en plena lucha contra el COVID 19 se merece una sociedad diferente.
No callen, no teman, no se rindan, luchemos de manera pacífica pero con firmeza y decisión... organicemos la sociedad contra las injusticias de los poderes económicos, financieros, desde esos grupos que con sus actitudes y decisiones en la redes y cúpulas de asignación de precios de bienes esenciales están asesinando literalmente y sistemáticamente a la familia venezolana.
Pa’Bravo Tu
“Éste es el requisito para que la guerra pueda tener un final satisfactorio: que la crisis en el campo enemigo estalle antes de que nosotros hayamos caído.���
― Joseph Goebbels
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A Secret’s Worth
Chapter 8: Toby and Jim
Ao3
Toby yanked the door open and ran into the locker room.
Please be there, please be there, please be there.
He made a beeline for the laundry bin and practically dived in head first, frantically rooting through the used towels and uniforms. Two thirds of the way in his fingers closed around the object he was looking for. He went limp with relief before quickly realizing that was a bad idea when he was upside down in a laundry bin; which smelled like low tide on the world’s nastiest beach now that he noticed, and squirmed out. Talk about a lucky break. Toby had been that close to losing his wallet over thanksgiving.
Familiar leather rectangle now tucked safely in his back pocket, Toby started to leave when he heard something from the shower area. Curious, he took a few steps closer.
Someone was talking, based on the pauses between their words they were probably on their phone, but it wasn’t just any someone; it was Steve “Bane of Toby’s entire existence,” Palchuk.
Toby paused, one foot still frozen in mid-step. Normally he’d be running toward the other side of school right now, but something in Steve’s voice sounded...off.
Maybe he was risking his life and the integrity of his face by hanging around, but the potential for dirt on Steve was just too good to pass up. Squashing down his survival instincts, Toby crept closer, pressing his back against the wall and sliding up to the shower area until he could hear Steve’s voice crystal clear.
“I-- I know you’re busy, with work and important stuff-- but these are the semi finals,” his voice cracked “This is one of the biggest basketball games of the season…”
Toby held his breath and stayed as still as he could. That wasn’t puberty cracking in Steve’s voice, it was emotional cracking. Steve was upset-- no, more than that, it sounded like Steve was two seconds away from bursting into tears.
“Please Dad,” Steve’s voice was quivering so much he was practically whimpering now “I...I really want you to see me play,”
His voice died down, probably because his dad was saying something on the other end of the phone.
Things were silent for the longest time. Then Toby heard the click of a button and the soft rustling fabric as Steve hung up and slid the phone back into his pocket without saying a word.
Just a sniffle.
Toby couldn’t help but wince sympathetically. Everyone already knew about the divorce, Steve had straight up announced it to the entire class back in eighth grade, but this was something new. And it was no wonder he kept it to himself. Steve might have been his least favorite person on the planet and a world class asshole, but even he didn’t deserve to get jerked around by a deadbeat dad.
Nobody deserved that.
He shook his head, he could feel bad for Steve later, now he needed to get out of here before Steve saw him and turned him into literal mincemeat.
Toby turned to walk away, only to trip on a mop propped up against the lockers. He looked on in horror as the mop seemed to fall in slow motion, handle landing on the tile floor with a deafening clatter.
“Who’s there!” Steve roared from around the corner.
Oh fuck.
Toby could actually feel his heart shoot straight up into his throat.
No time to run, had to think of something quick.
Blood rushing in his ears, Toby quickly darted around and grabbed the mop with shaking hands, dragging it several feet closer to the door. He gently set it back down on the floor and shot back upright just as a furious looking Steve rounded the corner.
He forced himself to act casual despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins “Hey Steve, what--”
Steve charged and grabbed the front of his shirt, slamming him up against the brick wall “What did you hear!”
A trickle of sweat ran down the back of his neck “Hear-- what? I didn’t hear anything, I just walked in when you--”
The grip on his sweater vest tightened, Steve’s snarling face was inches away from his own “Don’t play dumb with me Dumbzalski,”
Toby held his breath, shoulders pressing into the gritty brick wall. No way to run. And if Steve even suspected he’d overheard he was dead. Like legit dead, as in Steve was going to kill him and throw his body in the laundry bin. The only thing to do was continue to pretend he’d just walked in. But knowing Steve he wasn’t just going to let him off the hook that easy.
All of a sudden it came to him. The perfect out.
Toby snorted and rolled his eyes, doing his best to come off as annoyed rather than nervous “Oh my god it’s the twenty first century Steve, if you and Hank want to make out just do it under the bleachers with everyone else,”
Just like magic the furious look on Steve’s face melted into a brief expression of relief, before he quickly adjusted it into a look of annoyed apathy. And when his grip on Toby’s sweater vest loosened and he knew he was in the clear.
Toby knew Steve, and he knew that if he accused Steve of swapping spit with another guy, he wouldn’t suspect Toby had overheard his real secret. Steve didn’t believe in pulling punches, and if the roles had been reversed Steve would have thrown Toby’s deepest, darkest secrets back at him without hesitation.
Bottom line, Steve would much rather have people question whether or not he was gay than have anyone learn that he was crying in the locker room because his daddy couldn’t come to his game.
So he could tell Steve was more grateful than angry.
But not enough to stop him from punching Toby in the face.
His head snapped to the side. Toby dropped to the ground with a grunt as sharp pain radiated through his jaw.
“Stay out of my way Tubby! You and that crybaby Lake!” with that Steve turned and left, leaving Toby to pick himself off the locker room floor.
Wincing, he staggered to the door and began making his way to the library.
He prodded the bruised area with his tongue, trying to survey the damage.
His heart plummeted when he felt loose bits of metal, mumbling several words that would’ve had Nana make him put money in the swear jar.
Toby liked to consider himself a reasonably forgiving person, if it had just been bruises he would have probably kept Steve’s secret to himself. But mess with the braces and the gloves came off.
Dr. Muelas might be his mortal nemesis, but even he never charged for repairs when his braces got damaged. The issue was time. Every little error took that much longer to correct and get back on track. And judging by the amount of metal floating around in his mouth right now, this was going to take weeks to fix if he was lucky.
Months more likely.
So yeah, he was definitely telling people about Steve’s daddy issues.
Toby was still grumbling to himself when he made his way into the library and found the table their group had decided to set up shop at. Classes had ended for the day, but their pre finals cramming session was just getting started.
Darci was the first one to notice him “Hey Toby we-- Why are you holding your face like that?”
“Now that is an interesting story,” Toby slid into his seat and pried his hand off his jaw with a wince “You guys are never going to believe what I just…”
He trailed off, noticing for the first time that they were down one person.
“Hey, where’s Jim?”
No one rushed to speak up. The girls all glanced at each other and shared a look in a way that made Toby a little uncomfortable.
It was Claire who ended up answering “We asked him to pick up smoothies from across the street,”
“Oh...you got a smoothie craving?”
“Not exactly,” Mary said, folding her arms across her chest, shoulders squared and head held high “Mainly we wanted to be able to talk to you alone for a bit,”
Right away Toby knew something was up. He recognized that look, that was business-Mary, and business-Mary only came out when something serious was going down “You what?”
Claire let out a deep breath and laid both hands palms down on the table “We need to talk, about yesterday,”
Toby grimaced.
Oh. That.
“Yeah, sorry, Dr. L has always been pretty strict about rules,”
“Uh, that wasn’t strict,” Mary said, voice dripping with contempt “That was full on psycho,”
Claire quickly reached out and grabbed Mary’s shoulder “Not helping,” she hissed.
Toby felt a pang of defensiveness “Hey, Dr. Lake might be a bit...overprotective, but she’s cool,”
Darci cleared her throat, causing everyone to turn in her direction “Toby, I’ve seen strict, I’ve seen protective, my dad could probably write a book about being strict and overprotective. But the way Dr. Lake acted yesterday was pretty unusual,”
“She...was...probably just tired from work,”
Mary opened her mouth but was held off from saying anything by Claire holding up a hand “Let’s start from the beginning,” Claire shifted her chair so she was now directly facing Toby “You’ve known Jim since you guys were five, right?”
“Yeah,”
“Has he had the same rules and curfew that entire time?”
“No,”
“So what was different about his curfew when he was five compared to now?” Darci asked.
“Well...you see...it’s more like--”
“Either his curfew changed or it didn’t,” Mary cut him off “Which is it?”
Toby’s face grew hot “Ok, the times he had to be home at never changed, but he got to stay up later and talk on the phone more as we got older, once we even pulled an all nighter in Minecraft back in middle school,”
None of them responded to that, but in a way that was even worse.
Shifting nervously in her seat, Claire continued the conversation “Were there ever any exceptions to Jim’s curfew? Like birthdays or sleepovers?”
“Uh....”
Mary raised a single eyebrow “Toby, have you and Jim ever spent the night at each other’s houses?”
Bile rose in the back of his throat “No,”
All three of the girls stared at him open mouthed.
“You guys literally live right across the street from each other,” Darci said incredulously.
Toby forced out a chuckle, trying to dispel some of the tension “Dr. Lake thinks sleepovers aren’t healthy. Not sure if I believe it but hey, she’s the doctor,”
None of the girls were smiling.
He fought the urge to fidget under their scrutiny. Why did he bring that up? How Dr. Lake did things wasn’t anyone else’s business. Now they were going to think she was some kind of weirdo.
Claire leaned over and laid her hand over his elbow “Toby, I know this is how it’s been for years, but it’s not normal to have a curfew that early, or to be that scared for breaking it,”
“Jim was just nervous because, because…” Toby fumbled for the right words “Jim probably just freaked out because he lost track of time and...panicked,”
His painfully clumsy attempt to reassure the girls failed spectacularly. With every word he said their frowns deepened and the three of them kept flashing suspicious glances back and forth.
And when Jim walked in on them like this it would not be pretty.
He gripped the edge of the table with sweaty palms. Why did Mary, Darci, and Claire have to make such a big deal about this? Yesterday had been bad, but it was just a curfew slip up, that’s all. And sure Dr. Lake’s curfew and rules might be a little out there, but there wasn’t anything wrong with them.
stay here I’ll get the scissors
Right?
*
Jim carefully balanced the bag while pushing open the side door of the school. A brief glance inside revealed all smoothies were present and intact. He hurried up the stairs to the library, mom had agreed to pick him up today, which meant he could stay right up until the last minute, but he still didn’t want to miss a second.
Nudging open the library doors with an elbow, he spotted the table they were all sitting at. Jim waited until he was closer before smiling and holding up the bag in greeting “Hey guys, I got the smoothies,”
They all turned at the sound of his voice and immediately he knew something was wrong. Darci and Claire kept exchanging nervous glances, Mary looked like she had bitten into a lemon, and Toby looked like he was about to be sick.
Uneasy, he pulled up a chair and took a seat, setting the bag on the table in front of him “Is everything ok?”
“We need to talk,” Mary said bluntly.
“Oh...kay?”
Her eyes narrowed “About yesterday,”
Jim did his best not to flinch.
“Sorry I had to bail like that. I’ve set an alarm on my phone so it won’t happen again,”
Jim hadn’t really expected that answer to satisfy them, but part of him was really hoping it would. No such luck.
Darci folded her arms “The issue isn’t that you left early, it’s about how you did it,”
He let out a nervous chuckle “What...do you mean?”
“Jim,,” Claire spoke up “When you ran out of there yesterday, you seemed scared. Really really scared. And your mom was acting pretty strange too,”
A lump formed in his throat “Mom...worries,”
“Worries enough to never let you have sleepovers?” Mary said flatly.
Jim very deliberately did not look over toward Toby, even though his friend was squirming in his seat, and bit back the urge to snap at them that how he and his mom did things was none of their business.
“Look, that’s a separate thing, me not doing sleepovers has nothing to do with my curfew, and yeah ok, I overreacted a bit, but that’s it,” Jim stopped himself before he could ramble on any more, his voice had already started to rise in volume and pitch. If he started getting worked up it would make them even more suspicious.
For a few seconds no one said anything, then Darci broke the silence “Jim, we’re your friends, you can trust us. If you’re having a hard time or if you and your mom are struggling with something, you can tell us,” she gave him a soft smile “Whatever’s going on, we’re here for you,”
Now all eyes were on him, waiting for his response.
Jim had to hide his hands under the table to hide how badly they were shaking.
We’re here for you.
Despite the strained, uncomfortable atmosphere Jim had the hysterical urge to laugh.
He didn’t doubt that Darci spoke for everyone there when she said that, but Jim couldn’t let himself believe it. What happened to him wasn’t like anything they were thinking of. This wasn’t a ‘normal’ family problem like someone getting divorced or sick or moving away. The truth of Jim’s life was so far outside the realm of possibility for Toby, Claire, Darci, and Mary that they couldn’t even comprehend it.
No one could.
The familiar prickle of anxiety twisted in Jim’s stomach as he tried to think of the magic words that would make them let this go.
How worried they were or how much they cared didn’t matter. If they found out what he turned into every night it would all go out the window.
The girls would all be horrified, best case they’d run away screaming, worst case they’d call the feds on him. And Toby…
His throat tightened. Jim couldn’t even imagine how betrayed Toby would feel after discovering his best friend lied to him for over a decade.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
He took a deep breath and counted to get his breathing under control.
There was no reason to start panicking and lose his head like he did yesterday. The girls just thought his mom was going overboard with protectiveness. Not the first people to think that and probably wouldn’t be the last.
Jim could work with this, he’d been selling that story for years, he could do it again right now. Not lying exactly, just giving them pieces of the truth that fell in line with the idea they already had.
“Everything’s ok at home,” he started haltingly “It’s just that...with only the two of us….things can get hard sometimes,”
They all stayed silent and watched him expectantly, so Jim continued “Mom only wants me home so early so she can know I’m safe. Yesterday she didn’t know where I was and I wasn’t answering my phone so she got...scared,”
That was the whole truth at least, last night his mom had been the most terrified he’d ever seen her in his entire life.
“Sure it’s not fun sticking to all the rules she has, but if being home at the hours she wants makes things just a little bit easier on her, I’m ok with that,”
He trailed off and everyone at the table shared an uncertain look.
“If you just want to help your mom out why did you have such a major freakout when you realized you were late?” Mary saidin a clipped tone “That seems more like a ‘Call your mom and let her know what happened’ situation than a ‘Ditch us all and run back home’ one?”
Jim let out a sheepish laugh “I’m really sorry I bailed the way I did, I’ve never been out that late past curfew before so when I realized the time I kind of...flipped out, but I promise I won’t ditch you like that again,”
He allowed himself to let out a tiny sigh of relief a little when he saw the girls starting to relax from their tense postures, Toby looked so limp with relief that he was practically sliding out of his chair. Jim was almost in the clear, just had to keep it up and smooth over any lingering doubts.
“Everything’s really going ok with you?” Claire asked.
“Yep,” Jim said with a nod “I’m doing just fine,”
“Good,” Darci beamed at him “That’s all we wanted to know,”
Toby grabbed the edge of the table and hauled himself into an upright position “So…” he drummed the tabletop with his fingers “Should we get this study session started?”
“Sounds good to me,” Jim said while pulling his textbooks out of his bag, relieved at the change of subject.
Mary tugged a stack of loose papers out of the tower of books and notes sitting on the table in front of her “Let’s start with history first, I just know that Mr. Strickler’s going to make the final brutal,”
The last of the tension fell out of Jim’s shoulders as they all reached for their smoothies and immersed themselves in notes.
Yesterday had been a close call, probably the closest he’d ever had, but he had bounced back from it just fine. Jim gave himself a mental pat on the back for diffusing the fallout so well. Keeping his cool had paid off just like he knew it would.
His secret was safe and no one was the wiser.
Sure he would have to be extra careful from now on with planning, and hanging out, and making sure he got home on time; but he could do it.
Jim had everything under control.
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