#englishstrawbie answers

[englishstrawbie]

There’s a lot of people upset on twitter about what Bailey said to Ben in the hospital. I agree she shouldn’t of compared their situations but it didn’t seem so bad to me?

Oh Anon, there have been some interesting opinions on mental health and trauma response on twitter. I keep my circle small over there but some of the things I’ve read have made me put my phone down so I don’t say something (else) I regret. Fortunately I have a small group of friends who have kept me sane. 🤪

I feel like I was watching a different scene from most others because nowhere did I see Bailey compare Ben’s situation to Maya’s. The only people that have been comparing them have been the fandom. And the point is: it’s not a competition to see who has suffered the most trauma to justify a mental health reaction. Since when does mental health have to be justified by a trauma?

All Bailey said was: “I refuse to let you end up in a bed in this hospital like Bishop did.”

Why? Because they’ve just watched Maya spiral. She was going through something so awful, she wasn’t dealing with it, she wasn’t talking about it, and she ended up stuck inside her own head, with no way of getting out until she hurt herself.

What is Ben doing? He’s on the verge of spiralling. He’s at the hospital every day, he forgets to eat, he’s going through the incident report and questioning everything he did that day… of course Bailey is going to be worried. Of course Bailey is going to say “hey, you know our friend who recently went through hell? Don’t let things get so bad that it happens to you too.” I don't see what’s so wrong about that, it’s normal to learn from what our friends go though. As someone pointed out to me, Maya would say the same thing to Ben if she saw him!

I very much believe that we are all entitled to our own opinions and interpretations (unless those interpretations are harmful, of course). But the lack of empathy I’ve seen for Ben is incredible. Ok, he might have a hero complex, but he fell through a roof into a burning building, could have died, got trapped with two victims, had to choose one to save, watched that burning building kill the man he left behind with nothing he could do about it, feels overwhelmingly guilty and is blamed by the man who survived. And he’s not allowed to be traumatised by that? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Anyway, rant over. I’m turning off anon messages for a couple of days as I’m away this weekend and won't have chance to reply, not because I don’t enjoy chatting to you all. 😊

#station 19 #anon #englishstrawbie answers

[jmflowers]

Fic writer asks - 🌿 and 💎 please!

How does creating make you feel?

Safe. Important. Valuable. Worthy.

Why is writing important to you?

I think writing gives me a place to escape.

I struggle a lot, and especially right now, with feelings of unworthiness or invisibility or a lack of belonging. Writing or reading or just surrounding myself with words helps to quiet some of those negative thoughts and remind me that I'm capable. It also allows me to build a place that fulfills whatever might be missing from my own life - the rest and the calm and the safe, queer love.

Ultimately, I think I lean a lot on validation from others to make sense of my own worth. That's a massive pro to writing fanfiction, for me; often immediate feedback and positive response. The little words of affirmation, especially at random intervals, keeps me fuelled. I need to work a lot more on re-establishing my inner dialogue of self-love because gaps in my writing time leaves me feeling really off-kilter and alone.

fic writing asks

#the imposter syndrome is strong right now so it's been challenging to answer these #but thank you friend #I'll slowly get through the ones still in my inbox #fic writing asks #janelle's asks #englishstrawbie

[he0524]

🍓🌵

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into writing ff as a young child! My favourite TV show at the time had a canon pairing that I absolutely loved, and before I knew it, I was writing fanfiction for them.

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

I love editing! Less so for my own work (because then I get sucked into the lovely hole of rewriting sentences and paragraphs), but I love editing for my partner. It makes me feel accomplished, knowing that I put my all into a piece of work (when I edit my own stuff), and bonus: a snippet into WIPs before they're published! ;)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I absolutely love @rafiel_ahi (ao3) for her JJ/Emily (Criminal Minds) work. She has such an attention to detail and her imagery that she manages to capture never ceases to amaze me. Other authors that I can't recommend enough are @jazzfordshire (Tumblr/Ao3) for their Supercorp (Supergirl) fics, and last but not least, @englishstrawbie for their Maya/Carina (Station 19) fics. Fun fact, yours (@jmflowers) was the very first work on Ao3 that I read for the Marina pairing, and I absolutely fell in love!

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I believe there's a rabbit on the moon! (Not really, haha, obvs). Instead of the traditional "man on the moon" trope, I was told as a young child that there was a rabbit on the moon, and when it's a full moon, I like to see that I can see the outline of his ears. He is apparently pounding some fermented beans up there.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I wholeheartedly believe that Maya is a bottom in their relationship, both in the bedroom and out of the bedroom ;)

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I have a lovely, incredible partner who supports me in all that I do.

I'm so!close! to getting my postgrad degree! (Although this isn't a "good" thing right now because it's making me so stressed, haha! But I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to keep studying).

I have lovely pets that always make me laugh, no matter how stressed I am (Clementine, Lemon, Fig, and Peach, my ratties, and my little doggie who's been with me since I too was a smol bean).

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Definitely dirty-talk in Italian, haha! Perks of being a smut writer *hides*

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

That I've captured the characters as they are in canon! Something about that compliment makes me so giddy and excited. I appreciate all comments so much through.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Sometimes I hear spicy-ish songs that remind me of Marina, or even love/heartbreak songs that make me internally SOB with the thought of what they went through during Maya's infidelity.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

It's a combination of letters and numbers that are of personal importance to me! :)

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Work that doesn't have the appropriate grammar, or poor spacing. Each character talking starts on a new line! If it's just a whole paragraph of multiple dialogues, my brain cannot handle it and I click away :(

Thank you so, so much for all these questions! I'm about to pop some into your own inbox too :) I had so much fun answering them (and procrastinating my write-up, haha).

#my asks #my writing

[100hearteyes]

Do I get it wrong? I thought Lucy is mad about this promotion thing not because of Kate not telling her but she is mad because:

Kate did this big thing FOR her that makes her realises what they could have been(because now she knew Kate WAS really serious about them). Also, this brings out the feeling she still has for Kate(plus Kate got hurt), and at the same time she is mad at herself to have these feelings while so scared that if she gives in she will get hurt again.

Do those all make sense?

Like Lucy is more angry at the situation, at herself.

This is why I think that answer you had for an anon with grumpy cat Lucy and confused puppy Kate are so spot on for this episode's Kacy.

We all knew Lucy loves Kate, but Kate only knew about it this ep. I feel that Kate is a kind of person not very good with words in relationship but she does little things to show her love.

Hence the grand gesture makes much sense at the final ep. Because she just has to do something big to let Lucy knows she is all in and not gets cut off talking agin😅.

I actually really love this episode. Tori and Yas did a wonderful job. You can see in that scene next to ambulance how worried Lucy was but she tried so hard to calm herself down to not get mad at Kate🥺, Lucy was a mess inside.

All the team members with their off duty activities were so cute. Let Jane has her bath please😂

I also love that Kate has a good boss now, a boss has her back. The first thing he saw Kate was to ask her how she was and ordered her to get check, not caring about the case at all.

I don't think you're wrong at all and I'd like to refer to this reply by @englishstrawbie to support your opinion. A perspective I hadn't even be able to put into words till then.

Tori and Yas did a g r e a t job in this episode and I wish people would focus more on that rather than spreading all this unnecessary negativity. And I loved the episode too! Had a lot of fun with Jane's bath getting cut off 😂

I also absolutely believe Kate will get to have her say in the finale and things will get a lot better.

And yes to Kate's boss being a good guy ❤️

#ask #anon #kacy #ncis hawaii #ncis hawaii spoilers #kacy spoilers #kate x lucy

[mayasdeluca]

Do you read fanfic at all? And if you do any marina fic recommendations?

I do but I'm definitely behind on most of the fics I read, for some reason I haven't been in the mindset to read Marina fic lately but I'm sure once the show comes back and we get the mess that we get, I'll be ready to get back into it.

I don't know if you're looking for anything specific and I haven't really looked to see if there's any newer ones out there lately but you have to read everything and anything written by englishstrawbie and wrackwonder! They have multiple Marina fics and I've read/or in the process of reading just about all of them and they're all great! I also got asked this a few months ago and the answer is still the same so there's some other fic writers/fics you should check out that I mentioned here! Have fun and enjoy because we have some really great writers in this fandom!

#asks #anon #fanfic

[melancholy-ember]

Rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words. Tagged by: @englishstrawbie

“I have been resting,” the blonde murmured gently, throwing in what she hoped was an easy grin to soften the words even more. With her heart pounding in her ears, Kate couldn’t tell if it had worked as intended, but Lucy hadn’t left. Hadn’t stormed out or turned away. She looked tired from her long day, but curious. Willing to listen, for now at least. “And I'm getting better and better every day, Dillion actually seems to think I'm pulling ahead of schedule.”

Lucy nodded absent-mindedly, looking distracted. Kate wondered what kind of case had kept the brunette so busy, but more than that, she wondered if Lucy would answer her, if asked. A couple of weeks ago maybe, but now? Probably not. “That’s great news! I-I’m happy for you.”

Tagging: Literally anybody who sees this and wants to participate! This was kind of fun, I enjoyed it. Thanks for the tag!

#faster than a hairpin trigger #tag game #kacy #englishstrawbie #thanks for the tag! #this was kind of fun actually

[metabolizemotions]

get to know you better (tag game)

Tagged by @capitano-marina thanks 🥰

favourite time of year: When it's cool/ cold

comfort food: Non-answer would be whatever I crave then? 😅 or ice-cream. Hot sauce maybe? No, not on its own. And of course not together too!

do you collect something?: Nope

favourite drink: Generally coffee. If hot, with oat milk. If not, cold brew. Never sweetened, unless it’s a blend, with other flavours.

favourite song: a few -

current favourite song: more like current playlist -

favourite fic: current favs - From The Ashes by wrackwonder, Serendipity by @englishstrawbie, A beautiful mess of a changing world by @ncruuk

Tagging: late to the game as usual, so not tagging…

#tag game

[popchoc]

Tagged by @englishstrawbie 

Rules: Answer the following 11 questions and then ask 11 of your own and tag people.

1. What was a highlight of 2021?

The 40 year anniversary concert of the dutch band De Dijk. I’ve seen them many times, but this concert - the first one for the band as well as for the thousands in the audience, since it was literally the first big event allowed in over a year! - was just... indescribable.

2. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy?

Hmm maybe a crazy amount of art supplies? I started painting this year (or well, I’m trying) but good paint is annoyingly expensive.

3. What is your most treasured possession? (It can’t be a person or an animal!)

My 55L backpack. Got it almost 20 years ago and I’m using it till this very day. We’ve been all over the world together, so it comes with a lot of memories.

4. If you could live in any country in the world, where would you live and why?

I’ve been in 61 countries, and I loved most of them, but I only have 1 home. Which is right here. (But I wouldn’t mind going back to Galapagos for a bit longer! ;) ) 

5. What’s your go-to movie when you’re feeling sad?

I don’t think I have any. Rent maybe? 

6. What’s top of your bucket list?

To see the Northern Lights. I want to stay in one of those glass igloos, but I’m waiting for someone hot to join me.

7. If you could talk to your 16-year-old self, what would you say to them?

Open your f*cking eyes, you moron, you’re not as straight as you think you are! 

8. What talent do you wish you had?

I would appreciate some musical talent. I have zero.

9. Where does your tumblr username come from?

From my YT username, which comes from a bag of candy that just happened to lie in front of me when I needed a name. Least interesting story ever - lol.

10. What’s a song from your childhood that brings back a happy memory?

I have many, but my sister and I just happened to talk about Eros Ramazzotti’s “Se Bastasse Una Canzone” the other day, and the way we totally rocked that one (as we believed!), which definitely brought a huge smile to my face!

11. What’s a fun fact about you?

I had to do theater in school and me and my friends decided to join some Shakespeare piece so at least we could play some highly dramatic death scene. Unfortunately we were given the parts of the only three characters that made it to the very end.

Tagging @keepondreamingx @chuckzacharylevi @remarkingonit

01. How are you?

02. What was the first album or single you bought?

03. How would your friends describe you?

04. First celebrity crush?

05. What’s the best gift you got?

06. What is something you want to begin learning?

07. What is a comfort movie/show for you?

08. Describe your dream home.

09. What are three places you want to travel?

10. What superpower do you want?

11. Tell me a memory that makes you smile.

#tag game #thanks for the tag!

[lifesizehysteria]

Tagged by @englishstrawbie

Rules: Answer the following 11 questions and then ask 11 of your own and tag people.

1. What was a highlight of 2021?

My MIL beating Covid with a less than 5% chance of survival. M Quitting my job and going back to school (even though it sucks and I already want to be done LOL)

2. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy?

After paying off debts, a new house so my kids can all have their own rooms. (Preferably in a different country)

3. What is your most treasured possession? (It can’t be a person or an animal!)

Either my wedding rings or the necklace my wife gave me for our tenth anniversary while I was pregnant with the girls.

4. If you could live in any country in the world, where would you live and why?

I honestly don’t know but I’m ready to get out of the US tbqh

5. What’s your go-to movie when you’re feeling sad?

Mamma Mia

6. What’s top of your bucket list?

Meeting Julie Andrews.

7. If you could talk to your 16-year-old self, what would you say to them?

What you’re feeling isn’t love. Don’t waste your teenage years on something that you know can’t and won’t happen because it feels like a safe place to explore without any risk. Yes, you’re gay. But it’s not going to ruin your life and someday it will be one of the things you love most about yourself so let this go and go enjoy being young and dumb while you still have the excuse.

8. What talent do you wish you had?

Not so much a talent but I wish I had a natural affinity to picking up new languages because I’ve never been able to get to a point where I don’t have to translate every word I see, hear, or say but I’ve always wanted to learn multiple languages.

9. Where does your tumblr username come from?

A random username generator LOL

10. What’s a song from your childhood that brings back a happy memory?

My friends and I used to pretend to be the spice girls at sleepovers and would give each other makeovers to look like them and then dance and lip sync to their songs. Wannabe is the song I most associate with those times and even though I’m not friends with them anymore and we had a lot of bad blood a few years later, it’s still a really fond memory.

11. What’s a fun fact about you?

I’ve seen The Sound of Music well over 400 times. Probably more than 500, actually, but I can confidently say over 400. My questions:

1. If you could create a holiday, what would it be and how would it be celebrated? 2. What is your favorite way to relax after a stressful day? 3. What color is your phone case? 4. Do you like board/card games and if so, what’s your favorite? 5. What is something or someone you miss? 6. Do you believe in fate? 7. Are you a traditional pet person, a unique pet person, or not a pet person? 8. Favorite holiday tradition (either cultural or family tradition - any holiday)? 9. Describe your teenage self in 3 words 10. Describe yourself now in 3 words 11. One thing from 2021 you feel grateful for? I’m tagging @8679thehuman @jbthegift @queerytales @unknown-and-anonymus @loveindiravarma

#tag meme

[ssweetfuckingpoisonn]

The rules: answer 20 questions and tag 20 (or whatever) other blogs you want to get to know better

Tagged by @twistedhalos

Name: Jessa

Pronouns: She/her

Zodiac: Cancer

Height: 5’3

Nationality: American

Favorite band: Frightened rabbit, Hello Mary, The aces, Def leopard, Bahari, Crooked still, Daughter, Evanescence, The 1975, PVRIS.. (there’s more tbh)

Favorite artist: The Weeknd, jacquees, aftertheparty, partynextdoor, Halsey, girl in red (there’s way more)

When did you create your blog: November 2018

Last thing you googled: Halloween kills

Lucky number: 95

Other blogs: none

Why you chose your username: just a random name I came up with

How many blogs do you follow: 2,199 (need to clean it out tho)

How many blogs follow you: 2,109

Average hours of sleep: depends (my sleep schedule is pretty messed up)

Do you play any instruments: I’m rusty but guitar and piano

What are you currently wearing: black long sleeve and black basketball shorts

Dream trip: Italy or Ireland

Favorite food: pizza or anything homemade

Favorite song: Me, You And Hennessy - Jacquees

Tagging @it-keeps-gl0wing @peace-and-plants @t00gaytoday @thecityofembrey @goddess-drunk @englishstrawbie @rowdownthrowdown @stormmwithskin @luna-gaia

Only if you want to 😊

#tagged

[englishstrawbie]

Carina is so so beautiful

Carina DeLuca? Don't know her. Karen DeLinka, though, she's stunning. 😉

#anon #englishstrawbie answers

[jmflowers]

Fanfic asks… 3 and 6 please 😊

3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

Oh, I’m the worst in regards to this as I tend to fall into just one fandom at a time and I don’t watch very much TV or many films. Other than what I see on tumblr, I probably couldn’t tell you about anything going on in any shows right now (not even the one I write for – which I’m still two seasons behind on). There’s a small handful of couples I really enjoy, but only the one that makes me want to write fanfiction at this moment.

I would, however, like to go back and finish a long fic I’d been working on for the Charity/Vanessa (Emmerdale) fandom. I think we’re all resigned to the notion that couple will never be returned to us, but my story versions of them deserve the happy ending they were robbed of in canon. And I hate leaving anything unfinished.

If I had to wager a guess on what might draw my attention, it’d probably be the show Brassic because I really am rooting for Vinnie and Erin to get together even though they’re both totally agreed it would be awful. And it probably would be. But oh, that singular moment of happiness? That shit would make me soft. Maybe I’ll write a spec script for that show and toss it in my portfolio or something.

6. Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list?

I talked about it briefly in an answer to another question from this list. But maybe getting a few hundred words in several times in the last six months counts as starting it?

In which case, I want to explore more couple-centric and canon-compliant ideas in the coming year. I’ve spent so much of the last year deeply invested in my own created universe for these characters (which, honestly, I’ve needed with the stress of school), and it’s allowed me to keep from truly getting involved with the genuine storylines of the show. But it’s also kept me from reading a lot of other people’s work. I want to dive back into fandom present and explore who these characters are on screen right now. Besides, I’m sure everyone will eventually get tired of Andrea and Beatrice, even though I could probably write their stories for the rest of my life.

#janelle's asks #fanfic ask game #ask game #fic writing life #englishstrawbie #thank you! #these are really fun to answer

[englishstrawbie]

Between Kacy and Station 19, it seems you have a thing for lesbian reconciliation storylines. (TEASING).

Relationships have hurdles and for a lot of shows we get to see the couples hit their highs and their lows are temporary. Some of that is due to the relationships being a background thing, the focus is the crime procedural/medical drama, but I like seeing this attention given both couples as they work through things. We get to see that the love is still there, but growth and stumbles. It lets us see more in a way?

Thoughts???

Now Anon, why did you have to call me out like this?! 😝

But yes, I love a love story - and when you've got two people who love each other, fall apart but want to fight for that love, it can be beautiful to watch them find their way back to each other.

In a show like S19 or NCIS Hawai'i, there's a lot going on - there's a key theme or storyline that's going on throughout the episode, and then there's a whole ensemble whose personal stories need to be told as well. Inevitably that means that those storylines will ebb and flow throughout a season, sometimes getting more attention and sometimes getting less.

The fact that both shows are so invested in telling these wlw love stories makes me so happy. Especially the way queer shows are being cancelled at the moment. They're not just there for viewership or to fill a quota. These are characters who are important to the show and important to the 'family'. They're not trying to portray these women or relationships as perfect; they screw up, they learn, they make amends, they move forwards. And I love that we're getting to see every part of it.

#station 19 #ncis hawai'i #maya bishop #carina deluca #lucy tara #kate whistler #anon #englishstrawbie answers

[englishstrawbie]

I bet carina will find out she is miraculously pregnant

That is the popular theory of the moment, Anon, and one I'm not thrilled about - for a couple of reasons.

Asking us to believe that an OBGYN doctor who was actively trying to get pregnant: a) believed a pregnancy test without doing blood work; and b) hasn't noticed any changes in her body in the (approximately) three months since she last did an insemination. 🙄

Giving the moment to Carina, Bailey and Ben instead of it being a moment that Carina and Maya share.

On the other hand, I'm ready for them to push this baby story forwards because, after the donor nonsense in season 5 and now with the separation in season 6, it is something that is being drawn out for far too long without a proper sense of direction in the storytelling.

It would also force Carina to confront how she feels about Maya and whether she is ready to talk about what she wants and needs from the relationship if/when they reconcile, as Diane suggested. At some point, the baby steps they've been taking need to turn into a bigger step and, imo, it needs to come from Carina. I hope they give her the screen time she deserves to express all that.

But we'll see. I don't see the signs of pregnancy that everyone else does, it feels like a stretch - but then I am often proved wrong. Remember how we were convinced that Andy was pregnant at the end of season 4?!

#anon #englishstrawbie answers

[englishstrawbie]

What do you think the next episode will be like for Marina?

I'm not very good at answering these because instead of what I think will happen, I tend to say what I want to happen. 🤣

The promo shows Chief Ross asking who wants to be considered for the captain role. We see Maya hang back, we see Andy, Theo and Sullivan step forwards. The synopsis for the episode only talks about those three vying for the job, so I think it's safe to conclude that Maya doesn't put herself forwards.

Good for her! She's focussing on herself and her marriage for now. We know from 6x14 that she still wants to be captain, but she's learning to rein in her competitive nature and take her time. This is great progress for her. It's not a question of if, it's a question of when for her.

I really hope we see a conversation between Maya and Carina about that decision, where Maya talks to her about not putting herself forward. Even though it's a good thing for her, she's still Maya and she's still going to have feelings about it. It should be another reminder to Carina that Maya is all in when it comes to rebuilding their marriage, hopefully another step towards their reconciliation where they talk about the next steps... What does the future look like for them? Carina moving home? Finding somewhere new to live together?

An "I love you" would be lovely to hear! It's not like we don't believe it, everything they have done and said to each other tells us how much they love each other - but it would still be good to hear it! If not next week, then in the season finale.

#station 19 spoilers #station 19 #maya bishop #carina deluca #anon #englishstrawbie answers

[englishstrawbie]

Can’t wait for Thursday to come!! What do you think is going to happen on this date?

This feels like a dangerous question, Anon, because I have been trying not to have expectations this season which, so far, has been working pretty well for me. But since you asked...

I want Maya to be sat at the bar waiting for Carina; for Carina to come in and see her, and look at her (without Maya knowing) with those soft eyes; for Carina to slide onto the stool next to her and say "you look familiar" as a throw back to the first time they met.

I want the conversation between them to be easy. I want to see them laughing and teasing and flirting with each other, with the awkwardness easing.

I want Maya to continue to be honest with her about what's going on at work, how she and Andy took the photos to Chief Ross (which I'm assuming happens earlier in the day, before their date), and for Carina to continue to be proud of her wife for the work she's doing.

They're inevitably going to be interrupted by some medical drama with the three guest stars in the photo. I don't know if it's supposed to be one of those things from which they learn a lesson or if it's just a bit of silliness to balance out other, more serious storylines, but I hope it doesn't last too long.

I want an 'I love you' from both of them and a passionate kiss and Maya taking Carina home to the apartment for the night, perhaps with a hint that they are even closer to Carina feeling ready to move home.

#anon #englishstrawbie answers