#even just 1 good cry.

[thecheshirerat]

My worst anxiety regarding season three of Good Omens is that the ending will be lovely, but that it will pass too quickly.

I trust that it will be a happy ending; we know it will be. And I want to see that. But almost more than I want to see that, I want to see them breathe. I don't want "they kissed and made up and went off to their cottage and clinked glasses whilst watching the sunset and saying witty sappy things, and everyone sighed, satisfied." That's not too different from what we got at the end of season one, and it's lovely, but these two have been waiting so long.

so. long.

And I want the ending to be long enough that there's space for that "finally." I want there to be room for their emotions. I want them to giggle like teenagers, I want them to find stupid excuses to kiss each other, I want them to hold each other and cry, I want them to talk about the things they always stopped themselves from talking about, I want them to address the complexity of their feelings. I want there to be some recognition of the relief, and of the wounds that still ache. I want to see them slowly, slowly relax into security. I want them to tentatively reach for each other, each time fearing that they won't be there, and each time collapsing under the weight of their relief to find that they are.

I want to see them make plans for their future and let themselves be hopeful about it. I want to watch the reality of their happy ending sink in. I want to watch them heal.

#good omens s2 #good omens #cheshi squeaks #ineffable husbands #go2 #go2 spoilers #go3 speculation #fanfiction won't be enough for me #i need them to face the camera and say “hey you queer people. you can heal. you can have everything you've wanted. and we see your feelings #it would really make me so so sad if we ended this story without giving them the space to fully heal. i know neil's already written the las #episode and i pray everyday that he understands this #it can't just be witty sappy dialogue and nightingale reprise!!!! I NEED THEM TO FEEL THEIR FEELINGS ON SCREEN #even just 1 good cry.

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending #and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens #so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that #they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta #lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly #minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her #god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her #like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard #i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now #it speaks #twdg #i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying

[amiharana]

what do you guys think revali and link's love languages are?

for revali, it's absolutely words of affirmation but i'd also like to propose quality time as his "secret" love language. nobody wouldn't expect this stuck up birdie to be a sucker for doing things like flying together or napping in a hammock together, but once you think about it more, it makes more sense. and revali's arrogance and irritation are significantly quelled after getting back from a training session at the flight range or fishing in the hebra plunge with link.

for link, it's most certainly physical touch and i propose his "secret" one as acts of service. i love the headcanon that rito "kiss" by pressing their foreheads together and nuzzling each other or whatever, but i think link is the #1 rito kiss enthusiast. at this point, everyone in rito village has seen link on his tiptoes cupping revali's face in his teeny little hylian hands to initiate a rito kiss and revali's squawking and complaining, but ultimately returns the gesture much to link's delight.

i love the idea of revali braiding and doing hair maintenance on link as part of their nightly routine, or link looking for his weapons because where the fuck did they go until he finds revali in their shared roost, polishing his shields and retying his bow strings, all of his quivers fully stocked of regular and elemental arrows. revali is still quite bristly and blunt, so he's all mumbling embarrassed at being caught doing something sweet for his mate like, "it's incredibly dumbfounding that they still call you the hero of hyrule when your idea of weapon maintenance is sliding your blades against a rock like a bokoblin" or "i see now why you go through bows within a moon as quickly as you eat. you aren't changing your bow strings out and you're just using them until they snap! were i any less disturbingly infatuated with you, i'd dissolve our coupling for such atrocious behaviors." link just smiles at him, fond and warm, and any irritation revali feels dissipates into the air as he returns to the weapons, his feathers ruffling and muttering under his breath.

oop. now i feel like writing fic for this. 😳

#loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #revalink #revali be like Tell me i'm a good boy and also surgically attached me to your side so we're always together #link be like Please let me eat ur face and if u do one (1) nice thing for me i'll cry #i also considered gift giving as revali's “Secret” love language #but i think that should be a characteristic for all ritos because. bird. #revali will literally bring home a shard from a rusted blade and link is just like. Revali what am i gonna do with this #and revali's like idk but it was shiny so #so not only does link deal with (1) praise kink and (2) separation anxiety #he also deals with “revali i don't have any more space in my jewelry box for this” #“if you disapprove of my gift of courtship to you i would prefer that you say it directly” #“revali these are DIAMOND earrings where did you even get this from” #“... i had a favor with daruk and urbosa's jewelry maker.” #“REVALI. 🥹” #and then link rito-kisses him mwah happy ending i love gays in love #amihan's revalinkverse

[jula483]

Y'ALL. this pic is from yesterday

#rhett and link #matching #instagram story #SCREAMING AND CRYING #first of all #link's hair is SO SHORT #wtf #the sides are so short you can see his whole ear #and even the mullet is not so mullety anymore #link whyyy #i'm gonna need 1 to 3 business days to get used to it #okay i'm back to normal lol #ohhh also link's new glasses? i think i like them but they still feel too big for his face #and his tattoo is filled in!! #anyway gonna shut up about link now #they both look so good ahhhh #i just can't wait for gme next week and to stare at them in real time #btw it's one of the interns pic i think they had a last day of summer intership this week #my post

[kindledrose]

we interrupt your regularly scheduled kindledrose tumblr hiatus to bring you a last five minutes of good omens season 2 finale episode reaction moodboard because HUH???????? BECAUSE WHA????????????

#i haven't even FINISHED WATCHING IT he said the freaking. he said the freaking Line and i could not watch. i literally closed my eyes bro #ok i just tried to watch it again and couldn't. ohhh my gosh. what is happening???? #?????????????????????? #how do i tag this Sobs #good omens spoilers #i don't want to spoil anyone idk. cries a little bit #but anyways dear great goodness gracious what am i watching what is HAPPENING #it's so good like ohhhhhkay the conversation i just watched THE THEMES BRO??? THE THEMES ARE SO APPARENT I LOVE #but then they freaking??????? they uh???? whataaysgsdhf #i have one (1) irl good omens friend. should i go cry to them. i think i will #BUT FIRST I'M GOING TO TRY TO WATCH IT AGAIN? WITH MY EYES OPEN THIS TIME? AND FINISH IT? whAAAAt is happening #terra is rambling

[ajdrawshq]

love this animal. the saffron

#thinks abt them and cries forever (hasnt gotten anywhere near the oart where i will actually cry forever. probably) #like i JUST died to the king the first time and we're still in sillyfunny mode. i fear for this lads future #their Problems are beginning to set it tho . #n like. i already liked the group at first but theyre Really growing on me .. so so good #considering the way the game is im glad its not as repetitive as i was afraid of. tho it IS hard to remember stuff after a while #theres so many things to do and keep track of!!!!!! siffrin needs to get a notepad or smth my memory is just as bad as his #i was doing good w that part until we got to floor 3 ;; and theres still so many things in 1 and 2 to backtrack for......... #all in due time tho . and i still have a couple places where i need to use those star things at bc i got the right path first somehow..... #isat #isat spoilers #? i mean. the dying to the king first round is in the trailers so even i already knew abt that but. who knows

[flowercrowngods]

the absolute mortification of crying in front of your volleyball group because you twisted your knee (fucking figures) and everyone keeps asking if you’re okay because you can’t stop crying but there’s no way of saying “the knee is fine, it’s the person attached to it who’s not” 🫠

#blah #seriously all i did today was cry. i’m so tired of crying all the time #and i’m so mortified that everyone just. had to see my ugly cry face. and my ugly post-cry face #but also everyone was so kind 🥺 my friend’s father took real good care of me and gave me his brace and. he was in full dad mode 🥺 #and my brother and his wife took me to their place and we had comfort food and his kitty was cuddly so it’s all better now #i even showered. but man 😭 i couldn’t keep playing volleyball bc the father said no (he’s a trained PE teacher) #and volleyball practice was the one (1) thing i looked forward to this week. and then that made me cry more #because objectively everything sucks and everything goes wrong and and i’m not getting any wins #anyway welcome to my pity party 🫶 #pathetic boy hours

[indigodawns]

.

#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised #or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna #make you deal with that #but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been #cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ??? #idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed #my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1 #and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd #yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀 #so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk #ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure #* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest #anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd #other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been #even longer since we could talk 1 on 1 #like 2 weeks rip #maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip

[spacedlexi]

the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭

#twdg #i love the way s4 connects back to lees whole 'murderer' thing back in s1 😭 guilt...atonement.....systems of punishment #i love thinking about s1>s4 themes and crying #anyway this is partially why i hate when i see the ericson cast reduced down to 'just some teens' its so much more than that #them being abandoned in a boarding school for troubled kids is SO IMPORTANT its not 'just some school' #anyway its also probably why theyre my favorite cast #theyre literally one of if not the most mature group of the series even while being a bunch of kids who make choices i dont agree with #because they actually love and care about each other. even when theyre mad. because theyre all they have left #i do think the vote was a fair way to handle it even tho i still ultimately find it cruel. they couldve talked it out #but this is still a story that needs conflict to resolve so is what it is #they would rather they leave than have to face their confused feelings. the most immature thing they do. but understandable #they did such a good job crafting that cast for clem GOD an entire ensemble built around her and aj....delicious #zombie/post apoc media about love and community my beloved 😭 #sorry but get tf out of here with that 'humans are evil and everyone dies' lame ass bullshit we are nothing without community #the amount of love pouring out of s4 is like getting my ass kicked but then they give me a big hug and kiss after and send me on my way #s4 my absolute beloved i really love it more and more every time. so much to appreciate even with it the way it is #the themes bro the themes........ the connections between seasons 1 and 4 you are everything to me #it speaks

[apotelesmaa]

A while back I saw sm1 saying tsukasa expresses emotions like it’s his first time experiencing them & while it’s very funny and true I think it’s also worth noting that unlike tv/movie actors, stage actors have to really exaggerate their body language/expressions so that their emotions are readable for everyone in the theatre. On screen you can easily pick up the micro expressions on an actor’s face because you’re like 5 ft away at most and the camera often zooms in on their face. From the back of the theatre you can’t read subtle expressions so the actors need to over emphasize and use their whole body. All this to say: given that u cannot take the theatre kid out of tsukasa I feel like his acting just bled into how he expresses his emotions.

Emu also does the body language thing but it’s harder to tell as she’s normally expressing a smaller range of emotions than tsukasa (she’s naturally joyous and whimsical creature & tsukasa is usually given ample reasons to express annoyance). I think that’s more of a result of her exaggerating her happiness so that other people are also happy rather than an acting thing though. Gestures at her refusing to show negative emotions. Entertainer/clown (actual clowns, not the insult) vs stage actor. Really good examples of them doing this is the clip of rui imitating tsukasa & the clip of nene imitating emu.

#project sekai #don’t misinterpret this he’s not like. pretending to feel whatever he’s expressing. he’s acting the emotions he feels. #he’s capable of not doing that esp when he needs to be serious. his normal is just stage acting behavior. #knowledge I gained from 1) having a theatre kid sister who was rlly good at this 2) doing photography for her shows 4 newspaper #she got put on the no print list (list for ppl who are photographed all the time who need to not be photographed so others can be in photos) #bc she specifically was very very good at doing this and it resulted in really good & clearly readable photos #2 a lesser extent I do this as well bc of her influence I just emote less #don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it’s intentional given the implication that he’s so loud bc he’s used to projecting his voice while #he performs. #to clarify wrt emu I think if she was to express more negative emotions they would be more subdued. #unless it was for a role in which case she feels more comfortable not expressing joy 24/7. #i could go on a tangent abt ‘tsukasa doesn’t express his true emotions’ fanon when 1) he does. very obviously. 2) *emu* doesn’t but that #gets ignored. hello. nene having to tell emu it’s ok to cry and rely on wxs to comfort her. #even in the main story where she’s like devestated and blaming herself for wxs breaking up #she’s still smiling when she’s telling tsukasa that she made everybody sad and ruined everything (her view not mine) #mafuyu emu parallels… hm. #i don’t think emu’s ever been shown pissed off id be interested in seeing how she expresses that. #speaking of the it’s ok to cry thing if I don’t get that card when it runs on global I’m going to fuckin lose it. gay ass card. #this is getting long and I have stuff to do but as a side note nene & rui both hide their emotions #nene bc she’s shy & doesn’t show her true hater self unless she’s with friends #& rui because he’s used to being alone & struggles to identify his own emotions #at some point I’m sure I’ll ramble incoherently about how a lot of the issues ppl project onto tsukasa r issues he doesn’t experience #but *emu* does but nobody ever takes her character seriously so it gets ignored. #colopale do an event where nene encourages emu to b ok with showing minor negative emotions please please please

[neechees]

I love my niece and nephew but my sister literally keeps dumping them with me & expecting me to babysit without paying me despite the fact she has a job, & I'm tired of being treated as free labor for her

#when i asker her if there was anybody else to babysit she said her friend but was like 'but then if i took them there #then I'd have to pay them' (meaning she offhandedly admitted she doesn't believe she should pay me for babysitting all day) #i agreed to ONE day of babysitting & now ive been babysitting since monday from 9 am to 5 pm #& she didnt even tell me about the other days i literally woke up to my nephew crying & my sister gone so she just left him here #without saying anything #tbd #and she STILL never paid me for watching her son all summer 2 years ago despite telling everyone she was going to #she had a job & good money then too she just. decided not to pay me #i also hate 1. waking up early 2. waking up early in the summer 3. babysitting without getting paid 4. doing shit last minute #so this is p much my nightmare to keep waking up early in the summer to babysit all day without being told about plans & without pay

[soldier-poet-king]

I love my Nonna dearly but I also just got my first real "here's how you should find a man" advice so truly 2023 IS my Charlotte Lucas year

To be fair, I'll give them credit, this is one of the first times my family has pulled this shit on me. I suppose my "I'm too busy focusing on school" excuse that I used through all 8 years of undergrad and grad school doesn't really work now that I've been working full-time for a year. And she also didn't bring it up in front of everyone or out of the blue, it came up because we had been discussing how insane my motherhas been about babies lately and my Nonna said "oh it's BC she's waiting for grandkids"

And like??? Just because my mother got married and had kids by my age (which may have been the right decision for her, this isn't judging even if I think her life went to shit bc of it) doesn't mean it's the right decision for ME

In fact, it is the ABSOLUTE WRONG decision for me. Theres a whole long list of reasons why I'm not getting married + or having children, including but not limited to: the trauma of my parents marriage and my childhood, my own ongoing health stuff, the whole religious queer anxiety guilt complex I've got going, the fact that if I were to get pregnant the resulting mental health crisis and dysphoria would undoubtedly make me *** y'know not soemthing that is frequently a source of nightmares for me or anything, my inability to take care of myself let alone CHILDREN, and the anxiety of raising children religious when I don't even know wtf is going on with me, CHILDREN??? IN THIS ECONOMY????

Ofc I can't exactly say any of this to my Nonna who, while incredibly sweet and loving and Good, is also like. Not at all exposed to these concepts and would probably freak out if I was like hello yes I am a big fat queer and I rlly hate the concept of gender and societal ideas of womanhood :) it also doesn't help that rlly the only single, middle aged woman my Nonna knows is this lady who works at the church who is DEFINITELY a badly closeted lesbian but also she's super fuckin mean and condescending and no one likes her BC she's a bitch, on top of the whole being a badly closeted lesbian in a conservative heteronormative religious environment

Like even IF I were to get licitly Catholic married to a man. You wanna find one for me??? My Nonna was like "go to church more to find a man" HELLO??? WHERE??I GO TO MASS EVERY WEEK?? Every religious man I know irl is a radtrad women can't wear pants type or is a manchild. Even if I COULD find a normal man, he'd have to get real cool about some stuff real quick. In that forever dilemma of too leftist queer for the religious and too religious for the leftist queers. (Obvs your partner doesn't have to be your duplicate but I'm like. Generally being on the same page. The same BALLPARK. is probably conducive to having a healthy relationship, y'know?)

Besides a significant part of my having 0 social life is because I am living in my parents basement which is in a shitty not-a-suburb of mostly immigrant families with youngish kids or super old folks from when the neighborhood was built, so it's poor and run down but also super fuckin far from anything To Do, so it's the WORST of both worlds of urban sprawl. And I have no car. And I already spend 2.5 hrs a day commuting for work. And I'm chronically tired. And joining a fencing club or taking art class or whatever costs MONEY y'know the thing I'm trying to SAVE by living in this hell place???? She literally said in the same convo "live here as long as possible to save money" like??? YOU CANT HAVE UR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO as long as I'm living here I'm NOT going out and meeting ppl BC there is literally Nowhere To Go. Big box stores like Walmart? Yet another strip mall? The highway??? THIS IS SOULLESS HELL of neither nature NOR accessible city amenities

And anyway, I would rather be in a long term marriage for tax benefits relationship anyway. Not platonic, not romantic, but a secret third thing (jk but also serious). Like. Mutual devotion that blurs the lines and transcends labels. It could be completely chaste. It could not be. It's not a dealbreaker really. It's about trust and devotion and companionship and love. But also I'm insane and I KNOW how insane and obsessive I sound, and society prioritizes nuclear family relationships and not the weird ass shit I crave, and I feel too much too fast and would ruin any relationship I had even if I WERE to somehow find someone who prioritizes those things too

So like. It's fine. Most days (not all ofc, but I'm trying) I'm okay with this and being on my own and learning to cultivate my own peace and Goodness and I know who I am and what I believe and what I trust to be Good and I'm working toward that and I'm not sacrificing it for anything. But also. Can you give a bitch a break. Please. I'm so fkin tired

#franposting #my bday isnt even til JUNE #im going to bitch anyway #im genuinely really upset but part of that is bc my headache has come back #and its worse than ever #i might cry but my head already hurts too much #i got really good news at work and only the men in my family made a big deal #the women were just. meh. and ofc none of them have careers so why should ot be important to me? #as the only granddaughter ofc :)))) #i am going. to crawl into bed. hair washed. lavender candle on. #do a lil meal planning. and then read or maybe just sleep. #tmrws goals after church are gym and grocery shopping before dnd #have to make my body hurt so much i cant think again #ofc bro 1 has claimed the car. so maybe i cant go #god. gos. i fuckin need to get out of here #but i literally cannot afford even studio apt rent in the city #and moving to one of the boroughs doesnt gwt me any closer to anything esp without a car #literally. just like. fuckin kill me #or find me a decently paid not soul killing job in a smaller city or even a town #where i could have a garden #or a porch swing. sit in. the sunlight

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

#please please please for the love of god ; ; ; #i am begging and pleading do Not let this be a repeat of last semester ; ; ; ; #this is exactly how i felt last time i got sick with covid and i Cannot afford another late start ; ; ; ; #i am. suddenly stuck by The Unwelcome Guest last week cryptically asking me when you're supposed to test for covid #and then saying 'hmm. okay. good to know.' and then refusing to elaborate #i swear. to god if she got me sick i'm #i. can't even say. i'm suddenly struck by such helpless grief thinking about how little i can do to keep her from being in my life ; ; ; ; #we literally Evicted her she all but threatened my older sibling into letting her visit weekly to take care of her potted plants #and then in october last year she was like 'my roommate has covid and i don't have money for a hotel i have nowhere to go :'(' #so the agreement was she could stay for One Week #and basically she has been. on and off our couch since then. #like. only going back to her apartment for 1 to 3 days at a time before spending another two weeks in our house. #with new excuses every time. #and literally Every Time I Say No And Put My Foot Down older sibling begs on her behalf because she's busy hounding and guilt-tripping them #so like. what can i even do if it turns out she infected me with covid because she didn't care to disclose that she was feeling sick #(and decided to come over anyway) #i'm just. overwhelmed ; ; ; #i feel like crying ; ; ; #i'm already busy pre-mourning the loss of my mental health and down time with my internship starting back next week #i don't need to worry about whether or not i'm going to be bed ridden for 2 weeks #and suffer Even More lasting lung and brain and blood and fatigue issues on top of that ; ; ; ; #a a a a a i just. feel like crying a lot ; ; ; ; #i'm already behind ; ; ; #i should ; ; ; try to work more tonight before the inevitability of it all hits me tomorrow ; ; ; ; ;

[orcelito]

Salty bitch in me sooooo satisfied by the fact that I probably make more money than the person who made my life hell last year lmfaooooo

#speculation nation #chatting with a coworker about how they ended up seeing her by chance #and she Asked about me. she seemed so preoccupied with me Specifically it seems! #and she apparently mentioned how shed consider coming back here and im just loke #lmfaoooooo girl im in charge of the hiring now and there is no WAY id hire her back #even without the personal grievances. she just caused some Real problems. like hell id accept her back. #but also she was a total BITCH to me. like really fucking nasty. and yeah maybe im still holding a grudge about it! #im a chill person but when someone makes me cry that hard for that long TWICE #yeah fuckin right id hire you back. keep dreaming. #anyways ive just been hanging out at work and chatting Whoops hfkshfj #my shift ended an hour and a half ago. i really should be going home soon. #the good news is i should be able to secure the lease renewal for only $40 more than the original renewal offer #the bad news is they havent replied since sending that which means its not in writing yet #WHICH MEANS the showing is still on for tomorrow. ugh. #which means i need to clean. blegh. #i guess having the pressure to clean isnt the worst but i really dont wanna lmaooo #at least i do have tomorrow off. i can make it work... #but yea my anxiety is a lot more manageable now. tempered by the satisfaction of being better paid than an old enemy #IT'S KIND OF FUNNY to call her that but she kind of is. it was mostly 1 sided bc she took issue with Me #i was fine being friendly work acquaintances but noooo she had to go and make my life fucking hell for several months #the social atmosphere has changed man. im not letting a snake back in. #im a nice person but i am a Resentful person. if youve wronged me i am never fucking forgetting. #but yeah i make more money than her ❤️ yay ❤️

[lostlegendaerie]

problematic fanfic 🤝 original novel

"I care so much about this and cannot discuss it with anyone"

#actually had a cry about this earlier! #mighta also been having to spend all day undoing last weeks work on my Topaz cosplay #and being super overwhelmed (again!) about all the work I need to get done #but man. I love both stories. I love the themes and the characters and I'm making progress #but I'm not. good at working alone. writing for myself #doing ANYTHING for myself bc 1) I was always told that was selfish and 2) I don't know who I am or what I want #anyway I hope people read this fanfic. I hope I don't drop it #I hope I can keep going even when it's hard #but the suicidal thoughts are back and I just. don't want to do anything anymore