#even tho no one else cares. but whatever

[comradekatara]

mai and sokka teen detectives 🔎

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #mai #sokka #mai&sokka #AUs #art #mart #one of my favorite AUs <3 #i finally finished drawing the first one #but the second drawing is actually a couple years old #but i could never get the pose quite right for the first one #so i finally managed to produce something i'm actually happy with lol #this is like. one of the most iconic AUs to me #even tho no one else cares. but whatever #mai and sokka unraveling the dark mystery at the heart of their mundane small town is real and true. to ME.

[haunted-xander]

You ever think about how Ryne probably got a more honest yet closed-off Thancred while Minfilia got a more disingenuine yet open Thancred?

Like, the Thancred Minfilia knew and grew up with was the one we saw in arr, the flirty, teasing and sassy but friendly man who was clearly not very honest seeing as no one- not even Minfilia- noticed how worn out he was from his constant work. Even just by hw he's noticably more prickly and. not quite rude but. more outwardly cynical? He's always been kinda cynical, but in arr his teasing and banter hides it well, which never disappears but is more. natural? genuine? now. Krile directly points out that he's much more brusque than she expected of him based on how Minfilia described him.

And sure, you could attribute that behaviour to his grief and stress (which is certainly a part of it) but considering he acts much the same in ew, when he's finally moved on and come to terms with everything (and is also post-shb character development), I think it's safe to say that this is the most honest we've seen Thancred be.

But this is all Ryne has known him to be. She's never seen Thancred be flirtatious or as social and friendly as he is in arr, she's only seen him be brusque and cynical but still teasing and kind. But he's also far more closed off from her (and others) bc of That Whole Deal going on. Urianger has told her more about Thancred's true feelings than Thancred himself has. and even that's not a lot, for Urianger is not only not a mind reader and doesn't know everything that goes on on Thancred's head, but also is reluctant to share more than is necessary since it's not his place to divulge these things (and also he himself is not free from the folly of emotional self-isolation).

With Minfilia though, he's open enough that she's never doubted that he cared for and loved her even when he couldn't spend much time with her, and she felt comfortable enough to admonish him when he did his usual self-destructive behaviour (you know, becoming an alchoholic at 17 and All That Entails)

Just. food for thought

#theres a lot of these parallels between ryne & minfilia in regards to their relationship with thancred #like. the way things are so similar yet so *different* from each other #same same but opposite ya know #like how thancred blames himself for warburtons death and by extention minfilia being orphaned even tho it was in no way his fault #vs how he knowingly took ryne away from ran'jit bc he knew that whatever other life shed live would be better than what she had #when minfilia first experienced the echo thancred knew wat it was but didnt tell her (for circle of knowing related reasons) #whereas he told ryne everything he could in regards to her powers and circumstances #he gifted minfilia her dagger for self-defense but never taught her how to fight #but ryne was not only gifted daggers by him but also taught how to properly fight and fend for herself with them #and he trusted minfilia in the main care of f'lhaminn while he took a more secondary support role #but he assigned himself the primary caretaker for ryne while the others (read: urianger) became secondary ones #(granted due to rynes situation he kinda had no other choice at the time) #(but im sure he wouldve taken the same role even if he could theoretically have safely handed her over to someone else) #also just to be clear thancred IS genuinely social and friendly even hw & up #just not as extroverted #he spends a lot of time either by himself or with fellow scions/other close companions #rather than with whatever lady hes trynna impress next #anyway. yet another day of being Completelt Normal about this complicated family situation #thancred waters #ryne waters #minfilia warde #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #xander being insane about ryne

[petz5]

grabs him by the scruff of his neck like a kitten

#ranma 1/2 #not putting this in my art tag i just wanted to post Something #U EVER THINK ABT HOW HIS MASSIVE EGO IS TOTALLY FOR SHOW #like def the result of genma telling him hes the best martial artist in the world one moment then that he's a disappointment the next #and how ranmas secretly terrified ppl will notice hes only good at one thing and then will see how worthless he rlly is and abandon him #(im not saying hes worthless i just mean from his perspective) #and thats why he has a total breakdown in the moxibustion arc bc hes CONVINCED if he cant do martial arts then no one will want him around #its also why its so important that even tho she cant think of anything else he's good at akane still tells him to stay or at least #let her go with him #bc she values him bc hes a person and she enjoys spending time w him. its not abt what he can bring to the table or whatever #what he brings to the table is his kindness and humor and care for others around him!! #anyway that arc doesnt cure his ego by a longshot but it did open the door for him to trust akane way more and share his insecurities #the other half (lol) of this convo could totally be abt desperately trying to live up to being a Manly Masculine Man #but 99% of the time he expresses genuine confidence in himself and not just his abilities its in girl form #i already made a post abt that a while ago #ANYWAY SORRY FOR THE FUCKING ESSAY

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[krispiecake]

i hope that everyone is aware that i am trying SO HARD to be normal but the universe is TESTING ME.

#i am trying ao hard not to fall back into old habits rn but jesus CHRIST brooooooooo #i havent been able to get barely any time with the staff i need for the past two days and now #theyre like 40mins late with my meds bc of another tenant #and its not even like theyre WITH the other tenant rn btw there are two members of staff sat in the office just talking #and its like bro. BROOOOOOOO #like they know this shit is SO triggering and i know they cant help some stuff but i still feel like i should be able to get my meds on time #if they arent actively with another tenant #its such a small thing but it helps my brain remember that actually they do still care abt me lol #all ive wanted to do since like wednesday was just watch a movie with my fp now that we’re cool again #and i was waiting in the lounge for like an hour and no one even came in #and its not like we planned anything so im not mad or whatever im just frustrated that #i had a rlly shit night last night and a pretty shit day today #and there just isnt anyone around to talk to bc theyre all dealing with someone else #or not even just sat around talking or whatever #idk this shit makes me wanna punch things burn everything to the ground and then kill myself if im being totally honest rn #and like last night and this isnt my therapists fault or anything but ahe wasnt able to pick up #and i managed to get thru it but it just added to the feeling like no one gave a shit #and its past nine again so she probs wouldnt be able to pick up now even tho i kinda need help again #idk this shit just. its so fucking triggering and i feel insane and so tightly wound #and ive been putting so much effort into my stupid therapy and i just wanna let go and have a full on meltdown again #i wanna take a bunch of pills and scream and cry and throw things and argue and just LET GO #cuz i feel like thats my ‘true nature’ and everything else is just me faking #or masking #AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT ITS SO MUCH EFFORT AND I FEEL LIKE IM GETTING NOTHING BACK

[terroristiraqi]

oh i wish feelings would go away

#p #need to unregister from the class we signed up for together lol #unless i need it in that case he can leave #i do care about him but he was just exhausting me constantly #just being immature and not to my standards. which like fine i have high standards for ppl whatever #but just not being realistic at all. then has the gall to call me immature and call this 'tv ahh shi' #genuinely burst out laughing at that one #he loves me sure. #i realized i kept dreading calls or trying to ignore his texts and avoid him essentially #didn't see him for a month and we kissed day after eid and there was nothing honestly #none of the spark or the feeling that was there before #alhamdullilah. i came to my senses even tho 3 weeks late #he says he doesn't hate me. 'you're the only one who can break my heart'. direct words #he's upset no doubt. blocked him on everything #i think he thinks i'll come back i mean i came back twice #but khalas. sneaking around and lying and the excuses i keep giving to my family. it's exhausting #on top of me being already iffy about him. i'm 18 man i have so long to find someone #he was a lousy boyfriend a lot of the time. didn't make up for the things he said he'd make up for #he did get better but im not entirely sure since we didn't see each other for a month #all i need to do is look at the bright side of it all. i have so much freetime now. i can do what i want. i don't have to apologize for #every little thing. i feel more relaxed. i don't have to check my phone as often. i don't need to make excuses for someone else #alhamdullilah alhamdullilah alhamdullilah

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

ppl on vinted grind my fucking gears. don't come near me with that passive agressive smiley face!!!!

#like. why should i care how much someone else is selling them for? #my price is based on how much i paid lol #i did accept the offer tho even if her passive agressive face pissed me off #not to mention mine are size 20 and the £20 ones are size 8...... #size 20 is out of stock and size 8 is currently on sale for like £30 on their website so. that probably explains it!! #anyway i sold them so. whatever #🧃

[sensazioneultra]

there is a special place in hell for this couple that occupied the disabled seats on this bus with their fucking equipment for god knows what

#every time i am on a bus (almost every day) i get comsumed by rage seeing people occupy the seats for disabled people #and like yes i know there are invisible disabilities. i am aware as an invisible disability haver #but i can tell you for sure most people just sit on whatever seat without caring if it's not for them #there is surely a small percentage of the people i see sitting on disabled seats that need it even if it's not visible #but it IS small #and it drives me insane like. it costs you nothing to sit in another seat. nothing #god i hate these ppl. i've had times when i was in a lot of pain and was debating whether i could use the disabled seats #and i didn't in the end! they're not even more comfortable or anything anyway most of the time lmao they're mostly for people with #reduced mobility bc they're close to the exists and then there's the spot for wheelchair users #and people who need more space in general. which you guessed it gets used by people who don't need it #alllll the time #when i was in dublin on a bus a person with a cane got on and none of the people sitting in the disabled seats got up #again sure maybe someone needed it and you couldn't tell #but i am sure at least one of them could've gotten up for that person who CLEARLY needed the space and the distance from the exit #i got up but my seat wasn't ideal - no one else got up tho #the person thanked me and i was like no worries which wasn't even SUPER true bc i had a hard time with my back in that moment #and could've used sitting #but like if it's between me - who can stand up on a bus without risking falling down and hurting myself - and that person? i'll stand up #but if people didn't occupy disabled seats when they don't need them there would not be that problem!! there wouldn't be two disabled people #possibly without a seat!!!! #and god at the VERY LEAST abled people could leave their seat to a disabled person when there is one getting on the bus!!!! it's like the #bare minimum i'm so mad people can't even do that #i don't see this much here but i mostly take the bus in my town during not so busy hours so there are almost always free seats #i'm sure it does happen here too. and everywhere #fucking furious #nico.txt

[atopvisenyashill]

sometimes someone whose meta i like but who is on the hero dany train will make a point that i feel works better for villain dany and iiiiiiiiii never know if i should reblog them or not aksjsjs like i’m not gonna start a fight but i will be adding my “daenerys is old valyria risen again” and “daenerys as orestes” tag and if they click on that they’re gonna see me theorizing about her getting eaten by drogon 😭😭

#which tbc i don’t want that one to happen i’m just paranoid about it aksjdjdj #like i don’t *think* i’d be mad if someone reblogged my meta and put it in their ‘jaime is gonna die w cersei’ tag even tho i hate that #theory. i wouldn’t care but that doesn’t mean someone else would feel the same. #i think just. a nice disagreement is different than someone in your mentions implying you’re not a feminist for x reason ya kno #or whatever. #getting on my soap box

[dontgofarfromme]

I'm finished finally I'm empty inside now lol. I wasn't as upset at the ending as I thought I would be, tbh i liked the whole Fitz building a dragon thing. I think the actual concept of Fitz being on the verge of death and instead pouring all of himself into a stone wolf and being joined by the Fool and Nighteyes is pretty good, it was sad but felt like an appropriate mirror to the first series and a tying up of all the times it was made clear that Fitz and the Fool fit together as one being.

The thing I didn't like is what happens leading up to that. Fitz and the Fool have sometimes done this thing before where they fight but then things are resolved due to extenuating circumstances forcing them back into trust and understanding rather than the two of them actually discussing things and coming to a new agreement. This has been like a minor annoyance to me previously but is usually not a huge deal as most major conflicts get real resolution. But i felt like in comparison to previous books their arguments were more bitter and targeted and loaded here, and deserved a full resolution. Instead we had them in conflict for the majority of the voyage from Kelsingra with no real closure to any of the issues they had because suddenly everything started happening and then Fitz was dead and dying and it wasn't an issue.

And the thing that like bites at me is that the exact same thing happens between the Fool and Bee--as soon as Fitz is gone she takes over his role in having this antagonistic and fraught relationship with the Fool but without any of the underlying love and affection that held Fitz and the Fool together despite their differences. I feel like there shouldve been an opportunity to hash out the stuff with Fitz and especially the stuff with Bee (even if it's just her and the Fool gaining a mutual understanding of their shared loss rather than her suddenly seeing him as a father which seems unrealistic). I feel like it made this book hard to read because there's all this tension tension tension in the interpersonal relationships that feels like it will build to something but the resolution, where there is any, is very sudden and all at the end.

And also just personally I feel like I enjoy things better when there's happy or hopeful moments interspersed with the tragic ones--the closest we got to that was with Bee Fitz and the Fool sitting together while they cleared out the bricked-up tunnel, but otherwise the downtime especially towards the end of this book felt either like periods of (as Nighteyes put it lol) boredom, or periods of depression between really sad things happening. Which turns things into a slog rather than highlighting all the sad and bittersweet moments that come later. And because I love him I also really just wanted the Fool to have at least one moment of happiness here and I don't think he even gets that much due to on a character level the constant conflict with Bee and Fitz and then just everything about the entire plot.

Overall I did like the like...raw building-block plot points to this book but I think it could've been more satisfying if it hadn't ground everybody down constantly--like you need a moment to breathe in order for sad things to have their full impact, and you need some hope or joy for things to qualify as bittersweet and I'm not totally sure we got there with this.

#realm of the elderlings #fitz and the fool #annnnd im done!! #i was happy with the stone wolf thing tho all else aside i thought the pain of fitz losing himself to it #and the moment where hes like what were we and theyre both unable to fully express it #was good #and i think that in and of itself couldve been effecgive as a last minute conflict to overcome #instead of trying to sell me on every interpersonal conflict is now resolved bc they love each other enough to go into a stone wolf #like it READS as tho they had worked some shit out before and this is the only thing left lingering #so why not actially DO that resolution instead of dropping all those threads??? #also i think the whole bee lying to the fool as obstical thing coulrve worked even if theyd come to an understanding o #or worked out some kinks in their relationship #the things she said were SO cutting that moving them to early on in their relationship #but letting the two of them progress and gain respect and letting bee like care for him even a little #wouldve worked bc he 1000% wouldve still held those hurtful things close #you can get the same impactful 'i lied' but it might even be MORE impactful if it comes as like #the final resolution/removal of a wall in a relationship that was originally fraught but has developed to be affectionate or whatever #i think mostlh rh had to get the fool into the wolf withoht making it seem like he abandoned an entire child lol #which...cant help her with that one lol #maybe if it happened when bee was older #idk #anyway!! #this was fun mostly despite all this!!

[dan-crimes]

I gotta complain abt being a picky eater here for a sec cuz I'm lookin @ all this stuff on the breakfast menu and there's always the SAME ingredients in all these SAME food items and it would be SO much easier if I could just order food without having to think of all the stuff I DON'T want on my food cuz I always gotta put in so much effort to look into every single ingredient in every since food item that I order bcuz I DON'T LIKE MOST FOODS !!! SMHH !!

#mostly making a post abt this cuz there are ppl out there who think picky eaters are just childish and need to grow up #as if I'm CHOOSING to be a picky eater #and they call it childish cuz they think ppl just don't wanna be healthy and eat veggies and it's not THAT bad or whatever #THE THING IS! I FUCKING LOVE VEGETABLES!! THAT LITERALLY PROVES IT'S NOT PEOPLE JUST THROWING HISSY FITS !!!! #I literally LOVE fruits and veggies and I'm honestly not a big fan of candy like I enjoy it but I have a pretty low limit for em #like I could just eat tons of fruits and veggies no problem but candy makes me sick if I eat more than a few of em #snacks on the other hand like chips and nuts and granola and stuff are a different story #which btw my family does NOT have the same taste buds as me they are all SUPER unhealthy and I like the most healthy foods #not including my outer family members I mean immediate ones that I actually care abt and effect my food palete #ANYWAYS I will say I don't like tomatos that's one of the few I'm not a fan of I don't even really like ketchup that much #tho I have gotten better about spaghetti sauce which I'm sure people would CRY from how plain my pasta is lmao #the sauce is literally called tomato sauce it is LITERALLY tomato sauce it has nothing else in it and it has absolutely no chunks #probably the reason I never had sauce on my spaghetti for so long is cuz it always has CHUNKS in it or little leaf things that would crunch #which I like crunchy but only when it's MEANT to be crunchy #anyway all I'm sayin is it would be nice to get a breakfast burrito but I feel bad changing the order SO MUCH just for me to enjoy it #and most the time other ingredients will get in it regardless and I can't eat it anymore cuz that entire area is infected with the taste #even my Mom thinks I'm crazy for that 🙄 LISTEN IF YOU PUT PEPPERONI ON PIZZA THE FLAVOUR STICKS TO THE PIZZA #DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU TAKE IT OFF THE JUICES THE FLAVOUR IT GOT ON IT I CAN LITERALLY TASTE IT BRO !!!!! #or even a half and half situation if any pepperoni touched MY side of the pizza I am TASTING it and I cannot eat it #trust me it's not a mind thing it has been tested on me before and no one has tricked me into eating it bcuz I simply DO NOT LIKE IT !! #there is no trick to be had I can simply TASTE IT !! smh smh #anyway that is my rant abt being a picky eater quota met for the first half of the year #I have one more I have to make before the end of the year (just saying it'll likely happen is all lmao)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

ATTENTION: BRAINDEAD POST INCOMING

i'm gonna marry him i swear to god. I promise. no kidding

#his 80s cary elwes-esque slay w the moustache WHYYYYYYYYYY i am in agony. #i think there was just something about 2021. prophetic dreams were abound and we all fell in love w someone who greatly impacted us forever #i still believe there's smth special about him and i can't let him go 😐 the nature of the dream and everything and the fact that i knew IT #i sowwy for being insane but i do believe he's my special little guy. him havin a gf literally changes nothing. whoops! 🤷‍♀️ #god i have a problem i think i need to be on anti-psychotics but idc. i'm just remembering how i was sayin i was happy abt him reading my #comment and saying good night to me and i called him 'my beloved streamer' and people were callin me parasocial for that and yet #a bitch who's been his fan for over half a decade who ends up dating him ISN'T parasocial? the hypocrisy of everyone being kind to her #while getting angry at other for being attracted to him and genuinely caring for him just like i'n sure she did. i hate alllllllll of you #i never felt like life made sense more than when i was obsessed w him... sigh #ironically i think want someone to tell me that i'm being crazy just so i can tell them to fuck off. it's not like i don't know or that i #enjoy being like this but i feel like a have no other choice? it's odd but it feels like my purpose. this is my rock to roll up the hill #my track record for this sorta thing isn't good but i'm trying to be better. just once i wanna be loved by someone i love heh... 😔 #he feels like the final one fr. the last in a line of total failures #god it's a miracle anyone puts up w me ngl LOL there's smth deeply wrong w me i don't think is fixable #not to quote astrology like it's gospel but the stars decided i was supposed to fall for someone in the public eye so. it only makes sense #that this keeps happening to me i guess. i'm just fuckin retarded no need to be concerned #anyways SCHIZOPOSTING OVER! back to whatever the fuck else i can use as a diversion so no one reads this (even tho no one gaf)

[hpdgirlfriend]

and i dont........feel like i really matter anyways but

#she is specifically messaging me. and he said he liked my attention and whatever. #and ive been gone today #but i actually cant force myself to respond #even tho i want to :( #&&&&. i dont think that she or anyone else rlly. cares abt me #i dont think i actually matter i CERTAINLY dont to other ppl but maybe not even them #itsss. mmm. s bunch of small things piled up. no good night message or replying from him and #my one other friend group that im kindof in the sidelines of saying how they miss each other and i KNW im not included in tht #and then just..... them talking to other pplrn and. #i dont know. i dont matter #when she says she's doing something for someone . & its not me. i want to crack my skull open just a little bit #diary

[bladeofthestars]

.

#currently having one of those shits you have to get naked for #curled over the toilet and yelling as quietly as possible #hopefully whatever this is is out of my system before i have to go to lessons tomorrow #would hate to have to call off #i've been pretty consistent about my practice and would like to actually get good at it #also excited to go out for a latte tomorrow and put the lavender flowers i just bought in it. they smell super pungent so should be good #would also like to write or draw sometime soon #have mostly just been playing videogames with my SO when they're home and various homemaking stuff or piano practice when they're not #we desperately need to move out of here which means i need a job which aaaaaaa #i have desperately fucking needed this break after how that place was treating me #hoping to get a work from home job again to make moving easier #also would like to not burn through my entire savings but ey whaddaya gonna do sometimes ya know? #between med bills student loans keeping gas in my car groceries car insurance and whatever the fuck else life throws my way #my decently sized savings will likely dwindle fast #my partner is currently covering my car insurance but like. i pay significantly more than that amount for our shared groceries #maybe double or triple the monthly cost of my car insurance #and they have like 0 bills except the amount taken out paycheckly to have health insurance #hate ever even suggesting to take up more of the load tho #just awkward to talk about #in any event #here's to hoping for a decent wfh job. it's much easier to take care of the home and myself with wfh.