#feels. bad. for a variety of reasons. but it feels bad.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

mrrgrgr. driving class

#piktalk #kinda neg tagramble apawlogies #but i am so not ready for this oh my god #oh no. oh my god. #i am being so brave about this but oh my god. #like. so. for some reasons or another my focus and clarity has been really shitawful ok #and th online lessons ive been given have these like. snapshot 'look at picture say whats happening' thing and i did So bad on em #i. dont know if i can. do that. #like paying attention to all that? And the mirrors? And where im going? AND the bees in my head 24/7?? oh no #like i think my eyesight is genuinely getting bad too which is um. #hm. augh. #and like. my brain is hyperactive at filling in gaps and filtering out visual/auditory noise. like its bad sometimes #and im. auhg. ahhh. aaaaaaaaa. #i wont stop unless i fail but. i dont. um. starting to think maybe i shouldnt be on the road #feels. bad. for a variety of reasons. but it feels bad. #its like really hammering in the 'this is so dangerous pay attention or youll die and kill and itll be all your fault you will die youre g #and im just sitting here. wailing. rattling like a small dog. #ahh. auuhghgg. aaaaaaaaa.

[ganondoodle]

the worst part about finding more and more about totk that i dont like is that ... it seems like one of my biggest fears is going to become true; all of my previous hyperfixations died because a new thing of the franchise came out and i didnt like it, turned that strange, perhaps unhealthy, love and attachment into disappointment and sadness and im afraid thats happening to zelda right now, the one hyperfixation i hoped could last or at the very least i would just grow slowly away from in a good way if it was just totk that i didnt like, tho its hard to see all the love people have for it and just ... feel the opposite about it, it would be fine (heck i really disliked links awakening but ultimately i just regret spending so much money on it, it didnt impact my feelings about the rest of the franchise) but because it diminishes everything about botw too .. a game that i still love deeply, its not fine aside from me not liking anything they did with the zonau, it basically steamrolled botw too, damn near ignoring it ever happened, cramming in zonau stuff where it wasnt before just so its literally everywhere, taking its mysterious and answerign them in boring ways, implying that stuff i loved so much about botw was yet just another zonau thing (the three dragons possibly having been zonau ..........the ancient hero mystery being .. that.......) people basically claiming as fact that its somehow slammed into the old timeline despite it making no sense nor has any evidence aside from some names that happened to be used once before or them saying whats the point of ever looking at botw again bc totk does everything "better" ...

you cant ignore it really, even if i try to ignore what i dont like, i know whats revealed in totk, and others know it too.

and in turn it all makes me go back to that strange self hatred i thought i had finally left behind, the why do i care so much, its stupid to care so much about a piece of media i have no control about anyway, whats the point of caring so much, you have wasted so much time and effort and thought and tears about something like this, why are you so weird, why cant you just be like everyone else and love it all, why are you like this, stop being like this.

knowing i cant stop being like this, fearing from the start it might happen just like it has so many times, that i fall in love with a piece of media so much that when it gets a new thing that i dont like but affects every aspect of it it all flips into anger first, then disappointment and sadness and in end into wishing i wasnt weird like this, knowing i cant change it ... and it turning out true

#ganondoodles talks #i dont know how to feel #i dont want to lose interest i really dont #but im seeing it happen just like it has all these times before #on top of feeling bad for beign so negative #also feeling like the villain here bc so few people have the same criticisim as me #the only people that dont like it are those posting rants on youtube complaining about enemy variety or whatever #the game wasnt what i expceted nor what i hoped but weird thrid worse thing #that i dont know how to feel about #.... not to mention being afraid of making myself hated for being the way i am #probably the reason why so many popular zelda artists i liked and even talked to suddendly completely shadowbanned me #im afraid of losing everyone i got to know in this fandom #for being over emotional and annoying i guess #or maybe i am just a bitch #maybe they are right #maybe theres a good reason i never joined the ranks of cool and relatable popular artists #and maybe its better for me to stay in my weird lil bubble

[surreal-duck]

hi hi congrats on 1k!!!! if you're still doing requests, could i perhaps request switch?

woe. wizards be upon ye

#only realized a while ago that they have ''witch'' in their unit name im dumb as hell #switch #natsume sakasaki #tsumugi aoba #sora harukawa #doodles #enstars #duck scribbles #rqs #if this looks slightly different than the ones ive done recently thats bc im switching between two programs ignore that #i! dont know how to draw sora. #every time natsume calls the player chara kitten i feel the urge to punch him. stop that!!!!!!!!! #had a grudge against him for a while for a variety of reasons but ive started to like him recently hes neat i love transgender wizards #anyways hi my bad for taking so long ksdjkjgdshsgd #interning had me in a chokehold for a bit 😔 hopefully i can do these in a decent pace tho #anonymous

[jamiethebee]

I know everyone likes the "Fenton parents are dead/evil" route to drive Danny to Gotham, but I propose: "the Fenton parents have to send Danny away to keep him safe/cut off contact (since they're technically contracted to the government and the GIW is the definition of shady and spies)"

#the bee talks #dp x dc #if you cant tell im tired of every fic/prompt going “the fentons are evil :) and danny had to run away” #yall can push danny to gotham without making his parents evil.... im just saying (as someone who loves emotional angst and what's worse than #his loving doting parents having to come to terms with their halfa son and send him away with no one else to watch over him?!?!?) #or alternatively ppl could always do the “they're in a coma and the giw are after us” #the lack of evil parents would also make more sense for danny to willingly get adopted? (if they arent evil then no bad parent trauma) #but also a delicious conundrum of “i have parents (but for safety reasons i can't have them)” and “oh kinda vibing with wanna be parents” #no hate btw!!!! its just very overdone!!! and i feel like people are forgetting how much maddie and jack love their kids above all else!!! #i love a good angst as much as the next guy but i gotta have variety too

[grymmdark]

one of the worst parts of chronic fatigue for me, besides having my life taken away from me becuase i'm barely capable of doing even the thigns i need to do let alone the things i want to do, has got to be that i just dont really realize when im tired or exhausted. like, when youre in pain all the time the pain just becomes background noise and that can make it hard to recognise pain, but this also happens with fatigue for me. so i often dont even realise when i need to take a break or am pushing myself too far until its too late.

#grymms spectacular fucking posts #CFS #cfs/me #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #im generally really bad at being aware of my body for a variety of reasons (dissociation adhd autism etc) plus just getting used to things #that i shouldnt get used to and then not realizing when theyre happening is just. like its so terrible idk how to describe it to someone #who doesnt also feel it. and theres not much i can do about it either

[arihi]

The difficult thing about openly blogging about healing and going through a long period of growth publicly is the feeling of “I’m not doing super great, and it’s worse than it has been before” springs to mind, but for the X number of times you’ve said it in the past, it feels more trivial. And maybe that’s a sign that things have always been an up and down sort of pattern, and that it will pass again, but maybe it also serves to feel more isolating in not having the words or energy anymore to describe how it is *this* time. And it is a position that changes day to day, and on better days it feels more passable, and on worse the void feels more vast. The mere fact that it changes is probably a good sign, that nothing ever has to be set in stone. But boy are some days so, so dreadful.

#I guess a measure would be this feels like pre-move out times right now #when I was (physically) in a bad and unsafe place #and moving out has had its own stressors and anxieties #but the dread I feel is very reminiscent of another older time before then #I recently visited Texas with Spider and Sarah and Doc #we stayed at my parent’s place so it was definitely a mixed bag #I wish I wasn’t so messed up after every visit there #I thought it’d be better or easier with company after this time #but due to a variety of factors I’ve left the experience more tattered than I’d like #they had fun and it wasn’t a bad trip #but it wasn’t a great trip for me personally for loaded reasons #Spider knows to check in on me more in the coming days and weeks so that is good #FUCK man also I love this new song that came out but I CANNOT listen to it anymore and had to remove it from my playlist #because I kind of associate it with the trip now and it makes me cry every time I hear it haha #second song I ever had to do that with!! #I’m okay #just so very tired.

[summertimemusician]

Honestly the one thing that really frustrates me about Hyrule Warriors is how they cut Linkle being Link's sister, because otherwise it would have recontextualized Warriors entirely as a character.

This is mainly just headcanon territory, but something always bugged me about him being a knight in training from the get go, mainly because it's usually never any Link's first choice with First, Sky and Wild being the main exceptions (Gaepora took him in, and Gaepora runs the knights academy, makes sense he'd want to join then plus he'd probably want to protect Sun, plus Skylofts knights function differently than Hyrule knights, they don't have the same hierarchy and Skyloft is pretty peaceful before SS truly picks up so again, makes sense he wouldn't have troubles joining, we don't know First's reasons besides him seeing evil on the horizon and deciding if no one's was gonna do anything about it he might as well do it himself, and Wild was basically recruited at a young age for pulling the Master Sword while presumably young, he was never given a choice), we see it with Four, he's a blacksmiths apprentice under his grandfather and we see in his manga him practically baring his teeth at his father he won't become a knight and he doesn't pick up the sword unless really necessary, we see that with Time, he was raised as a Kokiri, he dreamt of adventure already from the drawings we see in his room, but he could always just become an adventurer if he wanted to though of course we see that change with the Hero's Shade, I'll come back to that, Wind? Was content living in Outset with Aryll before Ganon decided to fuck around and found out really hard, Legend was also a blacksmiths apprentice and adventurer and he only takes up knight training in the manga because Sir Raven inspired him, like even if he didn't want to be a knight the training would still serve him well (and lo and behold the advice pays off given all the shenanigans mostly caused by divine beings Legend gets saddled with), Hyrule obviously leaves in a very hostile world so he wouldn't even have ANY time to think about knight training, he's self taught because he'd literally die if he wasn't given monsters need his blood to ressurect Ganon so it's honestly a unique case of technically self defense, either he learned to hunt or he'd remain hunted, Twilight is the same case as Wind's, Ganondorf fucked around and found out with the wrong older sibling's people plus the protagonists heavily implied love interest(s) and got shafted into next week, him and Dusk don't have a personal connection besides Midna for him to stick around much and we see him go back to Ordon, so no knighthood there, so why was Warriors different? What motivated him?

I think Linkle being his younger sister would have been the answer.

Long post ahead, continue under your own risk

I know lots of people characterize Warriors as being of a noble line and joined the knights at the urging of his father, but let's not forget most Links are orphans so thinking Wars is an exception is a pipe dream. So that's out, however, in medieval times knights actually get plenty of benefits since they work mostly for lords, ladies and the local crown, being a knight is synonymous with being a noble or at least having a decent life at the cost of serving someone else and the Hyrulean knights don't really have any requisites before joining (though we do see long lines of knights exist, which some Links are descended from without their knowledge, so it's not farfetched to think that a good chunk of the knights of Hyrule qualify as members of noble houses loyal to the Hyrulean crown, would also explain their why they're ineffective a lot of the time too, if most of them grew noble and Hyrulean isn't war seeking {most of the time} then they wouldn't have any real experience), it would be a good way for Warriors to support himself as he climbs up the ranks, and most importantly, someone else, because he'd need to make that money to feed Linkle if she's his younger sister because most Links who take on elder sibling roles are at their best when trying to protect their younger siblings (Wind with Aryll, Twilight with Collin, to an extent Legend and Gulley, all Links are at their best when fighting/protecting someone else), Linkle could grown up without restrictions and he could support them both, making them work harder than other knights because he's already at a disadvantage.

Making it so he's in the perfect place at the right time to get noticed by Artemis before the War of Ages, and give him a reason to go against orders and fight rather than standby like other traineés, being discovered as the Hero in the process.

And as a result since Mask is in the war too, he gets inspired by Warriors (who as an older brother would definitely just snatch him, Wind, Tetra and heck even the Skull Kid under his wing because no way is he letting children younger than even his own little sister fight alone) and eventually becomes a knight too after presumably stopping his search for Navi or using his knight status to search more effectively, which gives us the Time we see in LU who eventually become the Hero's Shade, which trains Twilight. Because he looked up to Warriors while younger.

I just think it's a huge missed opportunity with a lot of room for angst/hurt comfort/drama, and also opportunities for Warriors, Legend and Wild to bond over not really liking the knights because they've all not likely been treated well by his fellow knights while young even though he himself is one, and that Warriors would absolutely be one of the first to throw hands if he heard another soldier talk badly about any of the Links, in this essay I will-

#linked universe headcanons #lu warriors #been replaying Hyrule Warriors while sleep deprived and this suddenly came to me while mid drinking coffee #we really need more Warriors appreciation and big sibling Warriors around here #I Shall Not Tolerate Warriors Slander #Twilight and Time own my entire heart and soul but he's pretty neat #The inherent tragedy of unknowingly helping guide your younger sibling to roam aimlessly as a spirit until his descendant pacifies him #all because all you did was for your younger sibling and you tried so so hard to protect the boy who'd become the man behind the ghost #Feels like that'd be a punch to the gut for Warriors and Twilight both once the Realization™ hits #Linkle and Mask/Time and Wind both being little shit siblings to Warriors and bullying him into resting my beloveds #Artemis/Sheik joining in because meddler is her/their middle name #Legend Warriors Four and Wild both disliking the knights for a variety of reasons but only Warriors is passive aggressive about it #Until someone bad mouths one of his shield brothers that is then he's as feral as any Link #It's all about giving Warriors more depth ya know? #Summer's Sleep Deprived LU Ramblings

[softgrungeprophet]

every day i go "maybe i should kill off xyz character" and then i go "but what if they could live instead"

#arghwrites #ish #nadia rambles #actually this is mostly about harry lol #tho after atsv I did spend some time considering whether i should not kill capt stacy out of spite #ultimately at this point I'll just go toward whatever feels most natural #currently he's been stabbed in the knee so far but that's probably not the end of it #tho now I'm like wait if he's recovering from that he's probably not out doing policework... #well i suppose we'll see #gwen living is set in stone for sure tho #for a Variety of reasons #norman and warren definitely both die #the issue w harry is thinking about what makes sense to use from his arcs and what plots i need him for #anything involving norman coming back to life is off the table but tcw is def on the table #i also kinda need him for the 2012 stuff which is RIGHT after the goblin stuff... #and rewriting that would take... uh... some doing i think... because if he's not around then #peter would be living with gwen and mj at which point why would warren not just kidnap gwen etc... #i mean tbf i guess you could still ask that with the plot i DO have #tho part of his revenge also involves making peter look bad but that wouldn't work if gwen is the one he kidnaps... #she would immediately put two and two together i feel like... #which also not necessarily a bad thing but ... #shrug #do kind of wish i could have someone do the gg stuff for me 😂

[autisticchangeling]

I don’t feel like starting a fight in Reddit so you’re getting my complaint about yarn snobbery here instead, you’re welcome.

I had a lot of thoughts but actually I think I’m just annoyed by anyone who sees a post about how poor people can get more affordable yarn and immediately feels the need to chime in with how acrylic is destroying the planet and “It’s fine if you use it, but you should know”

Like, people do know. We know. Nobody thinks acrylic yarn is good for the planet, I’m pretty sure. Most people are not using acrylic yarn because they don’t care about the environment, they’re using it because it’s what is available to them. Reminding them that it’s Bad Yarn is not actually going to make a significant difference, because nobody is using acrylic yarn because they actually think it’s Good Yarn. People use it because it is cheap, machine washable, durable, and available basically everywhere you can buy cheap yarn.

I don’t know why this is irritating me so much, seeing as how I don’t actually use acrylic yarn myself (I find it a sensory irritant most of the time) but like, there is a time and a place for activism around consumer choices, and posts about how to make a hobby accessible is not that time and place.

#Like #I ethically disagree with wool for a variety of reasons but mainly the fact that it directly supports/is based on the meat industry #But I'm never going to go up to someone asking about making their hobby affordable and say 'did you know wool is bad' #Or comment on a post where someone shares a project made with wool yarn and tell them it's bad #because A) that's incredibly rude #and B) it's not going to work #If you want to complain about acrylic as a material that's fine! I don't like it either! But make a separate post #Plus literally every fibre has something wrong with it so really it's just whatever poison you feel like picking

[caffeinatedopossum]

Why are there always new symptoms showing up?? I just want a fucking break ;-;

#hello and on todays episode of wtf is wrong with resident hypochondriac opossum #i think maybe im extremely dehydrated and cant absorb fluids properly from drinking them (i think this for a variety of reasons) #and its starting to become very concerning and i think i need iv fluids like asap but i have no insurance #and also if i did theyd think i was crazy and not treat me condescend me and possible even admit me to inpatient msntal health #also having severe pain in my throat spreading to my skull that feels like someone jabbing me from the inside #which could be a sign of a compressed nerve so that fun /s #jesus christ im so tired i need a break i need this to stop #the pain alone is making me dizzy #and making me sweat which is dehydrating me more #ive tried everything i can think of and nothings working #i drink plenty ive cut out caffiene before i drink electrolyte drinks i make sure i eat enough salt etc etc #and its NEVER enough #oh yeah cant forget the compression socks and two different meds i tried to help me not pass put #guess what they didnt work either #and now im worried that my dehydration might be causing my hallucinations because they arent typical for psychosis #and maybe even my seizures which is really really bad #like i could go into a coma and die if i continue this way bad #but like that cant possibly be whats going on right? surely im just exaggerating because of anxiety #theres no way itd be that bad #my gf is basically a doctor and she would've done something by now if it was that bad #but hhh #why do i feel like this #why else do my hallucinations get worse whenever i sweat or exercise #why else do i have an extremely fast heart rate and fainting and im thirsty all the time but the second i drink i have to go pee already

[bulkhummus]

i love ur cecil sooooo much he is no thoughts head empty,,,could probably find the exact combo of stories that put esteban happily to sleep every night but could not do math,,,he does not know what 4+4 is and i love him for that,,,,,science means nothing but sexy to him and he is an adhd king,,,

cecil is so smart and so dumb at the same time and it ABSOLUTELY is the adhd brain fog/time blindness — my boy is soooooo smart but does not know a single times table

#i love to think abt cecils intelligence #and strengths and weaknesses #bad grades and drop out palmer my beloved #i dont think he went to school often for a variety of reasons xoxo #i feel like cecil is the guy you talk to who says the smartest craziest shit and you ask em wherenthey went to school and he goes ‘oh —‘ #—‘i didnt- i droppee out’ #and hes so well spoken and good at his job and UGH #wtnv #ask tag #anon

[queen-scribbles]

— I write…

tagged by @valkblue, thank you!

Rules: bold or color what fits you (optional, for funsies: and cross out what least fits you!)

I WRITE: daily || most days || a few times a week || a few times a month || random

I WRITE MOST OFTEN: when I first get up || later in the morning || afternoon || evening || the wee hours of the night || whenever

IN ONE SITTING, I TEND TO WRITE: a few sentences at a time || a few hundred words || a few thousand words || a complete chapter/section no matter how long || an outline || whatever comes

I TEND TO WRITE SCENES: in chronological order with no skipping || mostly in order but with some filler/skipping || whatever scene I feel like || who knows what’s gonna come out

THE THINGS THAT COME EASIEST TO ME ARE: dialogue || description of senses || description of action || description of characters || description of emotions || exposition || other

I TEND TO WRITE: on a phone || on a laptop || in a notebook || on whatever paper I can find || with speech to text || in the blood of my enemies || it doesn’t really matter to me || on paper first and then typed up || old school typewriter || on an iPad

WHEN I TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING, IT USUALLY LASTS: a few days || a few weeks || a few months || it’s kind of random || you guys take breaks???*

MY FAVORITE THING TO DO WHEN I’M ON A WRITING BREAK: recharge with other creative hobbies || read/consume other media || do something physical || catch up with old friends || work on my WIP in other ways like with playlists or art || other

IN GENERAL, I THINK MY WRITING HABITS ARE: pretty much what I need them to be || okay, but I’m working on making them better || non-existent || not great || I’m excited to develop them further || totally random || perfect for me

open tagging for whoever wants to do it ^^

#tagged #*j/k i know ppl take breaks for a variety of reason and with varying levels of intention #i just... don't #the longest i've gone without writing at a stretch is 24 hours and that was TORTURE #it's part of the routine and feels bad to skip xD #do you know how many times i have wished i was ambidextrous so if my right hand started hurting i could just SWITCH #and keep writing but still give it a break?!?! #(this may be why i made adi ambidextrous)

[ukulelegodparent]

If you know me irl, please move along there is nothing to see here, this post does not exist.

#For real. shush. I don't want you to see this. This information is of no interest to you #go away there's nothing here. shush shush. be on your merry way #so hypothetically. #if you and your flatmate had gotten along better and better over the months they've lived in your flat #and spent more and more time together and had talked constantly and eventually spent almost every night watching a show together #and you caught feelings and confessed them to her and you spent all of one night and one morning in blissful happiness and then they said #that they couldn't do this for a variety of reasons all of which where perfectly fair #so after a few days of back and forth you decide to be just friends and things continue as normal #and then it's christmas and you don't see each other but it's fine I mean it's all gonna be normal again after (you cry every night) #and then you come back and they're kneedeep in depression so it's not back to normal but it's fine #and like you still spend time together etc and then you get very depressed and they help you and talk to you #and then they feel bad again and you start to be bad too but you were still talking #but suddenly like every time you talk they are just either mean or completely disinterested in anything you have to say #but for some reason they are perfectly able to have normal conversations with everyone else in the whole fucking world #and you try to talk to them about it but it doesn't change anything and honestly you've given up talking to them #because every time you talk to them it feels like they don't want you to be there having this conversation with you #and when you're alone you manage to convince yourself that it's just the social anxiety talking but then you go into the kitchen to eat #and they are there making food and you ask them what they're doing tonight and it's like your last straw #and their answers are like not even mean just super short and for two weeks you've just been hoping that maybe they'd just once #come back from uni and fucking ask you how your day was #and like you ate in the kitchen hoping maybe just maybe they'd start just fucking talk to you. just ask you anything. #and you almost cried like 3 times and then you went to your room to cry for real #and now you're considering disinviting them from your birthday party bc honestly being around them having a good time with #seemingly anyone but you is making you depressed as fuck and your anxiety go crazy #theoreticallly. if that were the case. what would you do? #(yes I know the adult thing would be to talk to them) #like they're probably just busy and stressed bc of exams but then why can they have a good time with every other person in the world #this has been the most important person in your life and the person to whom you talk to about absolutely everything for months now btw

[halfdeadfriedrice]

it's pride month so i'm promoting lgbtq+ learning at work! what does this mean? someone sent me a suggestion that the training we were promoting had inaccurate descriptions of bi/pan sexuality, I dipped my toe back into the discourse of how those are defined, remembered "it's the same fucking thing" and then changed nothing

#to be fair: the training is still incorrect. it just feels bad to correct it to something also incorrect #i saw 'pan is attraction regardless of gender' and i saw 'pan people are allowed to have gender preferences' #and i saw 'bi people are attracted to different genders in different ways' #and this is genuinely 2 lines in a training that is WAY more about the stonewall history #and I'm tempted to just say 'bi and pan people are attracted to more than one gender #and this and other terms are used for a variety of historical and social contextual reasons' #none of which matter to you #ally number 4 #i used to identify as bi and while i was attracted to different genders in different ways #what i really meant was 'i think the pan people in my GSA are annoying and i will not align with them' #'also all the 'are you attracted to cookware' jokes are the worst' #and that is why i was Bisexual #and now i am Queer

[scaramoucheirl]

having a normal one (lying). every goddamn night i have to deal with the array of Thoughts and Imagery my brain throws at me whilst i try to sleep. really do not enjoy this btw

#sinposts #cvents #two biggest players being thinking about spiders and then i wind up feeling crawling for some reason or another #and then the second and perhaps worse one is the paranoia fuel imagery #i ought not to talk about it too much lest it worsten but it sucks real bad #there are nights where i can kind of push it away or those thoughts don’t come as much but #lately it’s a lot and it’s stubborn and it’s getting to me #that post where it’s ike. hm. what’s the scariest image i’ve ever seen but then it’s me at night and with a variety of images #then i wind up going back on my phone to try and distract myself a bit and it just becomes a mess #my bad for rambling in the tags so much oops xx #maybe ill delete this tmr we will see

[monsterbisexual]

things have been scary n hard n a lot but i do feel good sometimes..theres good things too they might not seem like big things or as meaningful but it still matters n makes a difference! things might get scarier n harder etc overall n probs will at least sometimes.. even when it feels like things shld be easy theyre usually not but im trying ! n thats smth i suppose

#p #work was so bad today had to socialize w family which went ok but not ideal situation for me after #might see a friend tomorrow n walk my dog n thats makin me anxious for a few reasons but mostly cuz idk how to talk to my friends anymore #for reasons that arent even only just me being a freak #the next day im having cavities fixed n itll take hrs #i rly to set up a dr appointment n its been ages cuz even for a normal appointment its v stressful n scary n bad for me #for a variety of reasons but i also just fuckin hate it #n this is cuz i think there coulddd be smth more serious goin on that ive been trying to ignore n avoid bringing up #cuz what if it is actually smth #n i cant even go on abt that rn (tired) but ive been..thinkin abt it #aaaand i need to try n get an appointment w a psychiatrist so i can maybe get back on meds again cuz i think itd be a good idea #like i think on em i didnt think they made a big difference but i feel like im way worse now off em so #n i hope i dont have to go thru the regular dr abt that cuz i got my refills thru them but i guess ill be seein her anyway n overwhelmed!!! #oh n the friend thing is scary cuz my lil group is all broken up now n i feel like im choosing sides when i hang out w some of em now #which sucks so thats the main thing abt that. ok enough bye <3 #idk what the original post not the tags even meant im tryin to be . positive! or smth jeez :/ #dlt ltr !