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ilikedetectives · 3 years

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Hi, did you play every AC game? If yes, in term of game plays which are the easiest? For someone without much experience in games, ty!

Not every AC game, because I can handle only so much of cookie cutter games at a time. Before I say more, lemme get this out of the way first: I played the Ezio trilogy back in 2018 because Da Vinci’s Demons was cancelled and I wanted more Da Vinci content and the white and red hoodie looks cool. In other words, I didn’t play the game because it’s called Assassin’s Creed.

The AC games I played so far, by the order of which one I play first. I’ll rate gameplay by my personal preferences (because it’s the only way I know how).

Ezio’s trilogy (AC2, AC Brotherhood, AC Revelations, played in 2018): decent parkour, minimal grind (just invest in the villa and you’re a millionaire in a day or two), very story focused (perfect balance of historical and modern plots). Decent combat. The golden years of AC and I agree.

Unity (played a few months after Ezio): good parkour, medium grind (bigger map and more items to upgrade, you still get to invest in properties so it helps). Time-saver items are on sale for real money aka MTX (ew). Combat is ok, not much difference since Ezio. Historical story is meh (I don’t care for Arnold because Elise’s story is more interesting) and they completely ditched the modern plot (you think Odyssey has little modern day plot, try Unity). Buggiest AC game I encountered and I played this game 4+ yrs after launch (hold on to that thought, keep reading). Ubi spent all of their time and budget doing the interior design (which is gorgeous btw) that they have none left to fix the bugs.

Black Flag (a few months after): chasing flying papers is my favorite activity to NOT do. Grindy af (no property investment). I can’t tolerate the controls for the ship so I hate everything that involves ship in this pirate game, except for sea shanties. You’ll have more fun playing this game as a pirate than an assassin. Combat feels the same since Ezio. Other mechanics are like Unity (understandable). Modern plot is minimal, but it makes bloodline irrelevant and there’s a....soul inside a computer server that wants to possess a human body, meanwhile said soul’s husband is a maniac who has unlimited reincarnations (realism, I know). Black Flag is the gateway game that convinces me that I should stop wasting my brain cells in “what kinda bs realism is dis?”

Odyssey (a month after launch, bought solely because of Kassandra also when I heard Odyssey is set before the creed, oh fuck yea I don’t need to sit through another rehash of Creed crap or at least minimal anyway): oh gods a breath of fresh air from the old controls where you have to hold R2 whenever you want to run and my fingers hurt sfm. Climbing is the best because the protag actually moves where you want them to move. MTX (ew). Grindy but because the combat and movements are smooth, best combat so far; I don’t see Odyssey as grindy because I enjoy my time playing (also Kassandra); I platinum the game on PS4 at around 130 hrs I think, could’ve been earlier but photomode. Fun quests that I giggle whenever thinking about them (I don’t remember shit about any quests in any other AC game, but then again Kassandra). People bitch about no parkour but who parkour in the 450BCE?!?!? Full disclosure: I never cared for parkour and never will. I stop caring for modern plot after how Unity and Black Flag handled it. Playing Odyssey makes me realize that I enjoy AC games more if idgaf for the AC aspect, rather, I play for the fictional historical tourism aspect. Just ditch the AC and voila, blue sky and fresh air. Playing Odyssey also makes me realize that I want a spin-off IP that focus on the Isu so we can go full fantasy. Do I need to say how pretty Odyssey is? lol

Origins (planned to play Origins first, but Kassandra. Also, I remember Amunet from AC2, but somehow we play as a dude in Ancient Egypt, I’m not too eager to find out, despite I prefer Egyptian mythology over Greek and I’d like to thank Yu-gi-oh for that): combat is clunky, heavy, and slow, though no need to hold R2 to run so phew. Grindy af. The bow mechanics is a decade outdated (Horizon Zero Dawn came out the same year and oh boi the difference is night and day, oh yea I played HZD before Origins. I get it the bow isn’t the focus but does it have to feel like Skyrim in 2017?). I’m glad I play this game for the Ancient Egypt (which is beautifully designed *chef kiss*) aspect and no more.

Syndicate (I play this along side of Origins, still haven’t finished it though. Literally bought the game for Evie and I nut over Victorian fashion): combat is no different from Unity. Grindy like Black Flag and Unity. Story is meh in both historical and modern plot so far. Evie is the only reason I’m still trying to play this game. At least the Helix outfits are included in the Gold edition of the game. Victorian London is gorgeous tho.

Valhalla (only care for this game because Eivor. Tbh after God of War and Hellblade, idc for another Viking game): game is buggy af, buggiest AC game I’ve played. Combat is like Origins but worse: the only saving grace is the finishing move & the bow mechanic hasn’t been improved since Origin; I honestly would rather have combat from the Ezio games over whatever-this-is. You have to toggle a button to run now, which is dumb af because I miss Origins and Odyssey automatic run. They bring parkour back (because Vikings totally dig parkour back in the Dark Ages) as well as the-character-doesn’t-move-where-you want-them-to from the older games. Chasing flying papers from black flag is back, no thx. Looting enemies is useless, but hey you get to run around to look for a key or two or THREE to get some minimal amount of materials; so imagine if 2/3 of every chest in Origins and Odyssey are locked. Oh! You have manually pick berries/food to heal, no healing potion, wtf is this half-ass RPG shit? Side quests, oh sorry World Events, aren’t tracked in an open-world game (guess who hasn’t been doing these bitches?). Grindy af. I’m wasting my time looking at the skill points interface (you have 99 lv in Odyssey, 55 in Origins, 403 power in Valhalla. A game doesn’t feel like grindy if you level up every 2 quests for 403 times, does it? lololol). The useless SP tree is so massive that I just don’t use the skills I acquire because it takes too much time to find out which buttons to push to locate the 10 skills in this 403-dot clusterfuck, but the astronomy design is beautiful (gotta give credit when it’s due). Scummy practice from Ubi: releasing “time-saver” pack AFTER reviews are published. Also, who wanna bet there will be more mtx outfits than in-game outfits? Don’t worry, Ubi makes inventory management cLEaNeR for you *hands over 8 outfits for an RPG game*. The free event bugs tf out of your already buggy event, but hey, you’ll get a free outfit that’s a reskin of what you already have, teeheee be grateful. Eivor is amazing but by the gods playing this game is a chore. Tbh I only play Valhalla if I don’t feel like playing Ghost of Tsushima that day. Lastly, why is England so yellow like it’s Ancient Egypt?!?!? And why the sunlight moves faster than Eivor’s running at full speed? Which parts of this game does realism count?!?!?!?

Unsolicited opinion: GoT is an example of how an AC game should be and how DLCs should be handled, but with Ubisoft it will never be and I’m so fucking glad that it is Sucker Punch Prod which handles feudal Japan with utmost respect and realism. See how “honor” is handled in both games and compare the writing. Ubisoft should have announced ding dong AC is dead and create a new IP, but AC is their most financially successful franchise so expect more of this MTX, I mean, grindy RPG approach with minimal narrative.

#every time I talk about AC I need to go play ghost of tsushima to cleanse myself #ask #anon #Assassin's Creed #ac2 #ac brotherhood #ac revelations #ac unity #ac black flag #ac4 #ac syndicate #ac odyssey #ac origins #ac valhalla

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letarasstuff · 5 years

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What makes you beautiful

Author’s note: So yeah, this is my first fanfiction here on tumblr. I hope you enjoy it :)

Summary: Lea is an intern at the Jeffersonian. She meets Finn Abernathy and makes friends with him really fast. But what happens, when she realizes, how wrong she is treated by her boyfriend?

Warnings: Abusive boyfriend, so don’t read it, when you are sensitive to this subject. Language, i think? And bad grammar, English isn’t my first language, so please tell me any errors in it!

3211 words, I am sorry

As a kid, whose parents often fought before they got a divorce, you learn to be scared of seeing other people argue or having an argument yourself.

Now I am a teenager working as an intern, or squintern as Booth likes to call us, at the Jeffersonian. I visit my mother every two weeks for a weekend in Maryland.

So being someone, who despises fighting, your worst ‘enemy’ are relationships. Like, when your partner does things, leaving their socks and underwear all over the house for example, you tell them to stop that in a gentle way to avoid any confrontation.

Maybe you are lucky and your significant other stops leaving their crap everywhere. I wasn't that lucky. My boyfriend screamed at me, saying I only want to change him and that I was invading his private space. From now on every time I ask him to do something nicely, he lashes out on my.

Sometimes, when he is angry or pissed already, Leo slaps or kicks me. I know, it sounds stupid to not break up with him, but I love him and he loves me. We are a good team. I do the chores as soon I get home from school or the Jeffersonian and he teaches me to be the best version of myself.

After a rather exhausting day at school, I am called by Dr Brennan to assist her on a case. It’s an investigation from the FBI. The victim was found in a burnt down warehouse. Now they need us to confirm or to deny, if it is a murder or not in order to do further searches.

After sliding my badge down the security check I go on the platform. I’m greeted by Angela immediately. “Hey Sweetie. Nice to see you. I hope you are still in school”, says she and gives me a hug. Laughing I respond: “No, I didn’t drop out since the last time we saw each other, that was like three days ago?”

Then I put on some latex gloves and bid a “Hello Dr Brennan” to my mentor.

But there is also someone I don’t know yet. “Hello Miss Smith. I’m glad you could make it. This is Mr Finn Abernathy, another intern. I need both of your opinions on this case. The corpse is burnt down to the bone and any evidence is most certainly destroyed. I am not sure if we can find anything at all.”

Then Dr B turns to the guy with the baseball cap, which has the Jeffersonian logo on it, and introduces me: “This is Lea Smith. Although she is still in school and only 17 years old, she has a magnificent knowledge on anthropology.” With a kind smile Finn sticks his hand out for me and speaks: “Good day, Miss Smith. It’s really a pleasure to meet you.”

Well the boy got quite a nice accent. “Why thank you. I really look forward to work with you, Mr Abernathy. Also please call me Lea. I’m barely 17 years old and it's making me feel like I'm at least 30.” Before he has the chance to answer our mentor interferes. After all we got a case to solve!

After many hours of running tests and examining bones, Dr Brennan sent me home. Thankful I say goodbye to everyone just wanting to get finally home.

“How do you get home?” asks Finn concerned. “I take the next bus. We are in Washington DC. Here comes the bus to my neighborhood every 20 minutes in the night”, I answer. Shaking his head he begins to peel himself out of the blue jacket. “There is no way I let you go all by yourself. We are in Washington DC. A young good looking lady like you are as safe as my money in 2009. I drive you home.”

After a while sitting in uncomfortable silence Finn speaks up: “So you are still going to school? Isn’t it a bit too stressful? I mean, Dr B has some tough standards. But at the same time your grates aren’t allowed to drop, are they?”

Looking down to my fidgeting fingers in my lap I answer: “Well a part-time job as a waitress would be much easier. But I need a place, where I have to use my knowledge and mind. It’s like a big puzzle you have to solve. Everywhere are pieces, you just have to find them. Also school is quite easy for me. My biggest problem actually is time. Now it’s 2 a.m. and I have to finish an essay for English in seven hours. So sleep is a sweet thing I have to treasure like a pirate a golden coin, Mr Abernathy.” “That was well said”, he smiles, ”And please call me Finn. It feels off for me to be called Mr by someone, who just told me to stop calling them Miss.”

Now, that the ice is broken, we talk about everything and nothing actually. 20 minutes later we are at my apartment complex. While getting my seat belt off, I turn to my new coworker: “Well thank you for driving me out here. You really didn’t have to do this.” He just waves it off: “I insist. It was really a pleasure talking to you. So go and finish that essay. It’s going to be as amazing as you. And please go to bed as soon as possible. We all need a good

sleep, even you. Sleep tight!” After an awkward hug like thing I step out of the car and open the door to go to my apartment. Before I close the door I wave Finn goodbye.

With a huge smile plastered on my face I open the door to my sweet home. It’s a cozy little apartment I share with my boyfriend. After my parent’s divorce I moved in here with my dad, while my mom went to her new girlfriend in Maryland. When I was 16 my dad wanted us to move back to Germany. He and mom originally are from there. But I wasn’t too pleased with his decision. I had a job as an intern for THE Dr Brennan, a nice school, a few friends and my boyfriend here in the US. In the end he moved out and my boyfriend in. So I kinda life on my own, the big dream of every teenage girl.

Trying to avoid any loud noises I tiptoe in the kitchen. After closing the door silently, I turn on the light. Then I see Leo, my beloved boyfriend, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. He looks beyond pissed.

“Where were you for fucks sake?!” he asks. Every syllable is pure anger and hatred. That will not end good for me.

“i-i-i was at the lab. Th-they n-needed me for a c-case.” My whole body is shaking in fear. While getting up Leo nearly screams: “And what were you thinking, when you didn’t say something about that to me? I was worried sick!”

Suddenly he pushes me. I fall on the floor, my head banging against the table leg. Leo grabs my hair, throwing my head up violently. I try not to cry.

“I-I am s-sor-sorry”, I sob. But the man just snorts: “I don’t believe that. You know, I don’t want to punish you. But if you wanna be the best version of yourself you have to learn from your mistakes.” With that he slaps my the face and let go of my hair. Forcefully I meet the cold white tiles of the kitchen floor. Then my boyfriend goes away. I hear his footsteps in the hallway and a door opening and closing. He is in the bedroom now.

A tear slips from my eyes finding its way my cheek down. My head is pounding. A few minutes later I get up carefully. Everything spins for a few seconds, but I regain my composure and get my backpack from the hallway. With a massive headache and a hurting heart I finish this essay.

It’s needless to say, that I didn’t get much sleep last night. When my homework was finally done, I had to think about the things I did wrong. Leo’s punishment has to be a lesson for me, therefore I have to analyze my behavior and do it better next time.

While sitting alone in the cafeteria during lunchtime eating an apple, my phone rings: “Smith” “Hello Miss Smith. It’s Dr Brennan. We have a new lead on the victim’s identity. Please come to the Jeffersonian as soon as possible.” Oh well, seems like my next free afternoon isn’t going to be today.

After the conversation with my kind of boss ended, I call Leo. “Hey Sweetheart”, he greets me.

I love this boy so much. “Hey Baby”, I answer breathlessly, “I just wanted to let you know, that I have to go to work right after school again today.” Anxiously I wait for his opinion. “Okay, Sweetheart. But make sure you are home by 10.” Happily I thank him.

A few awfully long periods later I finally am able to leave the hell called school. Not much later I arrive at the Jeffersonian.

“There you are”, Dr Brennan says when I get on the platform. “I’m sorry, but I had a quiz in sixth period.” Then we continue our destiny.

Yes, working with dead bodies is a destiny in my opinion. You have to be born to be able to do this. You must be prepared for anything mentally.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. My granny needed help with her computer, stating she deleted the internet. It’s a lot more difficult to calm down an 80 year old woman than a bag full of puppies”, explains Finn himself.

Dr B nods: “It’s okay, Mr Abernathy. Family is more important than anything else. Please watch it that this doesn’t get to be a routine. You aren’t getting paid for nothing.” Finn takes this advice with gratitude.

“Hey Lea. How went the essay?” he asks me while putting latex gloves on. With a genuine smile I answer: “Thank you for asking. My teacher was very pleased with the presentation of the main problems from George Orwell’s 1984.” My coworker responds with a: “I’m happy to hear that.”

Suddenly I feel like I’ve been struck with a lighting. “I have an idea!” And then I’m on my way off of the platform to Hodgins’ lab.

“Hey Little One! Long time no see, he?” he greets me. I say: “Hello Bug Man! Can you do me a favor?”

Half an hour later Brennan and Booth are out to get the suspect. While waiting for news I sit in the lounge doing my homework. You gotta take every chance you get to do them.

“Oh, what’s that?” Startled by a voice I turn around. “Oh, it’s just you, Finn. Sorry, I’m a very jumpy person”, I explain myself after being reassured, that this voice is from someone, who isn’t going to hurt me. Then I look at what I wrote.

“Oh, that’s just for biology. It’s not that difficult, just something with osmosis and so.” “That’s not what I meant. It makes no sense to me. It isn’t English, is it?” he asks interested.

Then I know Finn is talking about: “Ah, it’s some good old German. I was born in Boston though. My parents moved to the US like 25 years ago. So I still learned their mother tongue. It’s quite important to them that I don’t forget their origin. And now I’m writing this paper in German at first for my mother. Her vocabulary isn’t good enough in specific areas, her knowledge on the other hand is very impressive. So I let her read it and then translate the whole thing in English, her notes indeed.”

The young man has a look of astonishment on his face. “Wow. That’s so cool. Maybe you can teach me some German and something about the culture over there. I can pay you back in showing how to speak with the coolest southern accent the world has ever witnessed!” “Well, hack my legs off and call my shorty. We have a deal!”

Weeks go by and Finn and I become great friends. We tell each other almost everything. He even visits me in school or waits for me so we can do something afterwards. Leo never does something like this with me.

We know each other like the back of our hands. There is one thing I don’t tell Finn though: What happens in my apartment.

Slowly but surely I realize that everything, that is going on in there, is wrong. When my now best friend told me about his past, especially his stepfather, I began to think.

Finn shows me on so many ways, that imperfection is that, what makes you beautiful. He makes me believe I’m already enough. And when I make a mistake, it’s fine. That’s what makes all of us human.

When I finally conclude this construct of beauty, I lay awake next to Leo. I already feel the bruises forming on my body. In this night I don’t get a wink of sleep.

Now that I know the “truth”, I am embarrassed. How dumb am I? Thinking that this guy loves me and keeps hurting me to make me perfect is nuts. It is paradox.

But am I too deep in this mess to get out? Isn’t it too late now? Is this how I am going to live until I am gray and old? Do I want that?

The next few days I distance myself from everyone. I try to spend as little time as possible at the Jeffersonian by saying that I have too much school work or I am sick. Right now I am too ashamed to look anybody in the eyes there. I’m considered as a genius, but I am too stupid to figure out something so simple sooner?

It’s like the third week in a row, that I bailed out on Dr Brennan with the excuse, that I’m sick. This time it isn’t even a lie. My dear boyfriend thought I don’t give him enough attention. So he locked me out on the balcony in the middle of winter. Now I have a fever of like 39° C (102,2° F for you Americans), a massive headache and the worst cold I ever experienced in my short life in general.

Now the 20 years old man is at work, where he has to watch over the same machines on a monitor. So it’s nothing exhausting he is doing for a living. That is why I’m confused when the doorbell rings. I abandon my project for history and open the door. Before I get the chance to register who it is, I have to sneeze. “Oh well, that is a nice greeting. God shall bless you and your poor soul”, says Finn with a look of pity on his face.

“Haha, thank you, Dork. Come in or else I freeze my guts off out here.” I lead him into my apartment. Then I realize something. “May you excuse me, now the nice warmth is gone and I need a hoodie. This way goes to the kitchen. Make yourself comfortable.” And then I bolt for the bedroom.

Now see, I didn’t expect any visits from anyone. So I can go around my habitat without worrying about my bruises. When I’m out I make sure to cover them somehow.

Dressed in a Jeffersonian sweatshirt I go back into the kitchen. When my coworker sees me, he smiles: “Oh there you are. Hold on, is that mine?” With a blush on my face I scratch my neck and respond: “Maybe? I can’t help it, but it’s really comfy.” I finish with a shrug.

Laughing Finn assures me, that I am allowed to keep it. He wanted to ask Cam for a new one anyway. “But my visit actually has another reason than just checking up on you”, the young man tells me while I prepare a cup of tea for the both of us. “And the real reason may be what?” I want to know curiously. Sighing Finn explains: “You distant yourself from us. I thought it was only me, who had this feeling. But yesterday I talked about it with the whole team. Booth misses the ‘only other normal person in the lab’. Cam and Hodgins think, that something bad happened and are so close to emerge into that door to get you out of an emergency. Sweets tells us all the time, that you shut yourself out and that this means nothing good. Angela is ready to kick someone’s ass, if they hurt you. Even Dr B is in need of your comments and ideas while working. We all are worried about you. Please let us finally know what the hell is happening. Why aren’t you answering any of our phone calls? Why aren’t you showing up at the Jeffersonian? You are needed there. Without your person the whole lab is kind of unbalanced like a drunk man on his way home from a pub.” His eyes looks pleadingly into mine.

I couldn’t answer any calls, because Leo has my phone. In his pure rage of not getting enough attention, he took my phone and isn’t willing to give it back to me any time soon.

And that is when realization hits me completely.

Leo doesn’t just hurt me, he controls me. Every move I make I'm watched by him. It’s like living with a personal Big Brother.

I don’t wanna be controlled anymore. I’m sick of not being able to do what I want. I want to be in charge of myself again.

Finally I do the right thing.

I lock eyes with Finn. Without saying anything I roll up the arms of the hoodie, revealing a spectrum of colors.

While waiting for his reaction, tears start to form in my eyes and stream down my cheeks.

Gasping he looks at my injuries. From the dark bruises to the fresh wounds and the healed scars. Lightly he traces along them with his fingers, trying to not hurt me any more. I don’t move. I just show him my greatest act of trust. I trust him with my darkest secret.

Now Finn is crying too. Between sobs he hugs me and whispers into my ear: “I’m so so so sorry, Lea. I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that crazy shit immediately. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, especially you. I promise.”

And he keeps it. After this Finn takes me to the Jeffersonian, where I get an all check up. With the evidence, that is collected, Caroline builds a case against Leo.

It doesn’t matter what’s going to happen. It doesn’t matter how long Leo goes to jail, if he goes there at all. The only important thing to me now is the support I get from my colleagues – my family – who help me every step I take.

#finn abernathy #bones #bones team #fanfic #oneshot #temperance brennan #seeley booth #angela montenegro #jack hodgins #camille saroyan #jeffersonian

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alarawriting · 5 years

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Inktober #2: Mindless

The patient was sitting on the table, dressed in a hospital gown, looking deeply irritated. “I don’t even know why I’m here. I wanted to go to Five Guys,” he said. “Why didn’t you take me to Five Guys?”

The woman with him – close to the same age, late 20’s or early 30’s – sighed. She sounded exasperated. “Greg, we have talked about this. You’re here because—”

“You know, there’s a great sale on fishing gear at Walmart. I could be at Walmart right now buying fishing gear.”

“You don’t even fish!”

“Hello,” I said. “I’m Dr. Park. What brings you here today?”

“Nothing!” Greg Landers, my patient, said. He was a white guy with brown hair and stubble on his face, medium build, and looked overall reasonably healthy. “I’m fine! I just want to go to Five Guys. Or you know, Charles Schwab is a great place to open up your 401K. They’ve got a satisfaction guarantee. You won’t see that at every investment firm!”

“He’s been like this for days,” the woman with him said. “He won’t go to work, he won’t do chores around the house… he eats, but he spends the whole time complaining that it’s not some restaurant he wants to go to. Mostly Five Guys. Greg doesn’t even like burgers that much.”

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced, Ms.--?”

“Oh, I’m Nicole Landers. I’m Greg’s wife.” I’d figured it was something like that.

“So tell me about Greg’s online activities. Do you know what he’s been doing lately?”

“Playing Hell War!” Greg said eagerly. “It doesn’t cost any money to play! I want to know if I have what it takes to beat the Lords of Hell!”

Nicole sighed again. “Two weeks ago you were telling me that Hell War was a cheap cash grab and that it’s impossible to win without spending your entire paycheck on in-app purchases. Also you’ve never liked mobile games.”

“Has he played any VR games recently?”

“Are we done here? I am really jonesing for some Five Guys. And then we can go over to Walmart!”

“Oh, yeah,” Nicole said. “We both play Fimbulwinter – that’s a survival game about a post-apocalyptic world plunged into eternal winter – and La Vie en Verte, that’s virtual gardening. He also plays Beyond the Blue Event Horizon, that’s a space game, but I’m not into that so much.”

Time to be politic. “Do you think he might ever have played a… well, a porn sim? Or been on a site for pirating games?”

“You know, I think I want my next car to be a Hyundai Annunciator. Those cars are slick. And they handle like anything, even in bad weather! And the mileage before recharge, wow. Amazing batteries on those guys!”

To my surprise, Nicole laughed. “Oh, yeah, Greg does porn sims. He’s bi and genderfluid, so he likes to go online in a female avatar and have sex with dudes. Not really my thing, but he lets me watch if I want.” My shock must have shown on my face. “What? It’s the 21st century, you think I’m one of those women who clutches pearls and has the vapors if my husband plays porn games? I can’t be a man for him and I’m too straight to want him when he’s wearing femmy clothes, but the porn sim can give him those things without him exposing himself to diseases or other risks by going with real people.”

While Nicole was explaining this, Greg told us what upcoming movies he thought were going to be “really awesome”, repeated his request for Five Guys, tried to explain the plot of Hell War in five-word sentences that were plainly marketing material, and talked about the lawnmower he wanted. Nicole rolled her eyes as he finished. “Greg, we live in an apartment. We don’t even have a lawn!”

“We could go to Century 21 and shop for a house! I know their agents will put us first.”

“And why would we want to do that?”

“So we can have a lawn! The Home Depot sells the best grass seed—”

He went on like this, but I stopped listening. “I don’t need to check anything else, Nicole. I’m sorry. Your husband’s become a zombie.”

“A what?” Nicole looked horrified. Belatedly I realized that just because she played VR games and was open-minded about her husband’s porn habit didn’t mean she was IT-savvy enough to know what I was talking about.

“Sorry, that’s not the medical term for them. He’s still alive, and physically he’s fine. But mentally, his consciousness isn’t operating his body. His brain’s been hijacked by an information virus.”

“An information virus? And what’s that got to do with zombies?”

“An information virus is like a computer virus for people. And we call people infected with this type ‘zombies’ because they’re not actually conscious.”

Nicole looked at Greg, who was animatedly explaining why TGIFriday was the best sit-down restaurant, ever, but Five Guys was in a league of its own. “He looks pretty conscious to me.”

“Ask yourself, Nicole, when Greg is normally conscious, does he spend his entire time sounding like a series of poorly mastered YouTube commercials?”

“No, that’s why I brought him here!”

“Right. The human brain can do an amazing lot of stuff without being conscious of it. You ever set out to drive a certain way, but part of it goes the way you usually do to a different destination, and you find that without paying attention you’ve somehow managed to drive halfway to the place you usually go rather than the place you’re trying to get to?”

“I hardly ever drive. We have self-driving cars.”

I controlled the impulse to sigh. That one was the best explanation. “Ok, well, if you think about how you type on a keyboard – when you start, you’re awkward and you’re hunting and pecking. But it gets to the level of muscle memory and you can just do it, without having to consciously think about it. Or mastering the controls for a new game.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“I wanna go home and watch CSI: Racial Justice Unit! That is the best show on television today. You know it won an Emmy last year, right?”

“Greg’s brain has been hijacked by an information virus that compels him to advertise for maybe up to 40 different brands that he’s aware of. He probably caught the virus on a porn site; that or an illegal pirated game site, those are usually the biggest vectors. Some of those brands might be aware that the advertisers they’re working with are engaged in really shady practices like this, but most think they’re paying for ‘brand ambassadors’ who’ve voluntarily chosen to talk up the brand to their family and friends. The virus lets him do anything you can do without being conscious, and it turns out, that’s a lot more than people think it is. But right now he has no sense of rational judgement, his normal levels of compassion and empathy are almost entirely turned off, and he has no awareness that everything he says is an advertisement.”

“So – what can we do? Is it curable? Is he suffering? Oh, God, is he trapped inside his own mind while his body is running around spouting ads?”

“No. The real Greg, his actual consciousness, isn’t awake – that’s kind of what happens when people aren’t conscious. And yes, it’s very curable. I’m going to have him sit in this booth with a VR headset on and watch a detoxification protocol, and that should do the trick.”

“It won’t hurt him, will it?”

“No, not at all. It just nullifies the virus and wakes him up.”

“Ok. Let’s do that then.”

“Mr. Landers!” I interrupted his monologue about the Hyundai Annunciator. “Can you sit in this chair and put on this headset, please?”

“But I’m really hungry. I want Five Guys.”

“I think Nicole would be happy to take you to Five Guys after you watch this short VRdeo. Isn’t that right, Nicole?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.” From her expression I could tell she would rather swallow a live earthworm, but anything to get him to sit down and watch.

“Well, okay. Long as I can have Five Guys after.” Greg sat down in the chair, I put the headset on him, and for ten minutes, that was that. I talked to Nicole about the importance of strong antivirals on the VR headset, not just relying on your network firewall, and maybe running a quick one-minute detox scan after ending a game.

The timer beeped, and I removed Greg’s headset. “How do you feel, Greg?” I asked.

“Okay, I guess, but I still want to go get Five Guys. Hey, Nickie, you promised, can we leave now?”

My eyebrows went up. “That’s… unusual.”

“It didn’t work?” Nicole was clearly on the verge of a panic attack.

“It didn’t, but calm down. This just means I have to go to the next level and do a manual treatment. That’s going to take a while, but I’m really curious as to how this particular bug survived the detox, so I tell you what; if you can wait, I have, I think, three more patients on the schedule for today, and then we can do Greg’s treatment.” Normally I’d ask them to make a second appointment for a thing like this, but my detox VRdeo was brand new, just updated yesterday. I wanted to see what kind of bug could get through a brand new scan, and I didn’t want to wait until next week or whenever my calendar was clear enough for a half hour session.

“I… guess we can wait…”

“Well, if we’re not doing anything, then how about we go to Five Guys?”

“Just take him,” I said. “It might shut him up for a little while, and it’s not likely to do him any harm.”

“But Greg doesn’t even like burgers.”

“Greg Landers the human man with a unique intelligence and personality doesn’t like burgers. Greg the Zombie, the cookie-cutter advertising goon, does. Unless he’s got allergies or sensitivities and can’t eat burgers—”

“No, he just doesn’t like them.” Nicole looked at her feet. “I… guess I could take him. When do we have to be back?”

I gave her my best estimate of how long it was going to take to get through the last three patients, and then as I walked them to the door I let the receptionist know to expect them back.

***

Once they were back, I sat Greg down with an interactive VRdeo that I’d be running with him, and then sat down and put on my own headset.

The information viruses work by directly injecting “code” from the brain’s “operating system�� through either the optic or auditory channels, or both, but you don’t perceive them as code. You perceive them as something else. I don’t know what Greg saw – for everyone it’s different – but for me, it was very brief flashes of something I could barely see, something dark and full of wrongness, accompanied by a very brief flash of panic and horror. My brain knows when something’s trying to invade it from the outside. But my headset had the newest antivirals on it and the best, most sophisticated dedicated firewall, so for me the code injection attempts were just that, attempts.

The VRdeo that was running was highly interactive, keyed to produce full sensorium response – a perfect breeding ground for a zombie virus. Greg’s viruses couldn’t resist the opportunity to replicate and invade someone else. But that was not happening today. As the viruses struck out at me, my security grappled with them, analyzed them, and fed me images that in turn I could feed back to Greg that would neutralize that particular virus.

When we were finished, I once again asked him, “How do you feel, Greg?”

He was looking around in bewilderment. “This… is a doctor’s office? How the hell did I even get here? Did I pass out or something, Nickie?”

“Oh, thank God!” Nicole said.

“Looks like that did the trick,” I said. “Make sure you run antivirals, like I said. Good ones, don’t skimp on the cost. If you’ve got the money to game, you’ve got the money to protect yourself while gaming.”

“Thank you, Doctor, you’re a wonder—”

“What the hell is going on? What was wrong with me?”

I let Nicole explain to her husband as they walked out the door, and I locked up for the night. It’d been a long day, and I was hungry. I could really go for some Five Guys.

#inktober

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piracytheorist · 5 years

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My Notes on Rewatching “Call Girl”

I amuse myself by thinking that watching this film is an important rite of passage for anyone who’s an all-in Colin fan, as in, one who’ll watch anything and everything he’s in, no matter the content, theme or quality.

I actually used to think that this was a pretty bad movie... but, as you might have seen from my last few posts, I recently realized this isn’t the case. Sure, it is not your average short film, but breaking it down you realize it’s doing most things right from a filmmaking point. I mean, you don’t have to love it, but it does a great job overall.

And I mean, it’s got Colin in it. How bad can it be? ;)

Beware of spoilers, if you haven’t seen the film. And if you do wanna see it, here it is :D

I'm still surprised that... this is it. That's Colin freaking O'Donoghue right there. The pirate. The cowboy. The astronaut. The man the myth the legend.

Ah, early 00's.

Wait. Ok let's make a breakdown of the decoration here. There's: 1) a heart anatomy poster 2) a frame with an undiscernible picture 3) IS THAT AN ASTRONAUT FIGURE? dun_dun_dun.mp3 4) a small penguin (?) plushie with a nautical (?) hat on it 5) are those... mantis figurines stuck on the sides of the screen????

Oooooh boy you sure have some very specific decorations on your desk.

The music stops abruptly when Brendan's mother calls out to him to not close the door because she wants to see him studying. That's interesting. Also how old is Brennan supposed to be? Is he supposed to be in high school, or an adult in college? What was the age of consent in Ireland in 2003?

This vibe, though. White perfect shirt and dark vest...

The look of "I'm gonna look at hot girls with my bedroom's door open while my parents argue across the hall" ALSO YES THAT'S A MANTIS

This just makes me laugh so much. Can you imagine sweet innocent (mostly) virgin Brendan typing it and his heartbeat skyrocketing?

Seriously though, that "Welcome back Brendan" thing. With one small addition you add a whole point in his backstory about him trying to deal with his urges.

Jesus I have forgotten so much. As soon as Brendan hears his mother coming, he immediately clicks "Dump her" on the "Virtual Babe" and it just... explodes.

With a full low-quality boom sound effect to boot. Like seriously if you were trying to hide why the f have your speakers on. You had one job, Brendan.

A rare glimpse into Brendan's room, and I'm trying to understand what the pattern on his sheets are. Maybe I'm just confused by the astronaut figurine, but it looks... vaguely... about space? Like, if you squint, the circular thing on the top left looks like Saturn's rings. No?

Also, Brendan's mom being obsessed with disinfection. That was 2003.

"I don't want filth getting into my house while I'm gone." And two hours later, her son has sex on her bed.

Oh wait, his father says "The only contact [Brendan] has with the outside world is through that bloody computer of his," in a... weird, tone? Like he's trying to placate the mother's fears of any rave party suddenly taking place in the house, but also with his tone (and maybe by using the word "bloody"? idk I'm no native speaker but it piques my interest) it doesn't seem like he's very... understanding and/or supportive of his probably very shy and/or socially awkward son.

Mom: That reminds me, block off the internet, will you? Dad: *scoffs* Why not lock him in a tower while you're at it?

He is sassy though!

Lookit him though! So sad he won't be able to create and look at Virtual BabesTM while his parents are gone.

The parent's accents strike me more towards a British one and I got confused for a bit, but then I remembered that we see Brendan use euros later, lol.

*hatching the plan to search in his father's briefcase for any cards for escort services*

This is where I started feeling that this movie is better than I’d remembered. Like, it does the job of delivering Brendan's guilt over "tresspassing" into his parents room and disobeying his mother, as well as his fear of being discovered, even though he watched his parents drive away, so he'd hear the car if they came back, in a pretty well-done and clear way.

I love how he immediately knows exactly where to look. His father's such an organized fella. Also those pills that he seems to not need immediately (thus leaving them behind for the weekend) are... something. They're put there for a reason and I wonder what that could have been.

There's not even a moment of hesitation, once he opens the briefcase. He doesn't put the card back in, he only looks briefly at his parents' photo but then he's like "Yeah. I'm doing it."

That smile as he sees the card though, lol.

Casual reminder to have safe sex, lads.

And then the phone operator is like, full business mode. Brendan stutters for one (1) second and she's immediately like, "You want a girl?" She's like, I've had tons of people like you, lad, can't waste my time waiting until you find the courage to ask. You wanna hire or not?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED The operator asks for the address, Brendan gives it, then asks how much does it cost. Then the operator says "Same as usual." BRUH she knew the address from how often his father used the service!

And then poor Brendan checks his savings and his "Uh..." says it all about how he wishes he could hire someone for longer than an hour. Bro, calm down. It's your first time.

And then he's like, waiting all anxiously by the door. I've never hired an escort service but I feel ya dude.

And of course Barbara the nosy neighbor, here to bring us to the edge of our seats, lol.

Look at how organized their fridge is. Why is that chick suddenly so eager to cook something for him? There looks to be so much food already prepared in there.

And dude. This movie has set-ups. Barbara tries to open a cupboard to like pick up ingredients to cook something, and Brendan, with a sudden "No!" rushes in and closes it. It only makes sense later, when we see that that's where he hid the money for the call girl.

Yikes she booped his nose as she left... what is he, ten? I mean even if he's supposed to be a teen here it's still... like... he's not a little boy to fucking boop his nose. No wonder her mother seems to trust her with taking care of him, with how both treat him like he's a child.

Hi there! You're gonna die :D

Shit I just noticed the portrait on the wall. Is that a... is that a fucking ruff collar his mother is wearing???? (btw I had to search to find that term with "shakespeare collar" XD)

I mean... you can't help falling for it. At first you're like, she seems too... simple for a call girl. But then you're like, who else could it be who also knows his name?

I wonder what would've happened if she hadn't asked to use the bathroom, which prompted her to look at his parents' bedroom and him to... initiate contact. Would he have mustered the courage to actually ask her about it or would he have been so flustered until she'd say something? What would she say? "You know, your mother said you would [something]" and he would FREAK THE FUCK OUT because how does his mother know? Would they have stayed there in awkward silence long enough for his mother to call, him to pick up and find out what she was really there for?

I mean, look at that! I'm speculacting the "what-ifs"! Good fucking movie!

That look, though. You suddenly go from "Aw you cute" to "WTF I know you're thirsty for it but that's... creepy"

Look at that smile, though! She is pretty nosy!

I just... I love everything about this. The way she's smiling at nosing in in her boss' bedroom. Him creeping behind her like the future killer that he is, actually scaring her. The way he says "This is my mother's room," so shy and collected. The fucking music, too. How it slowly builds up from the moment she spots the bedroom and it starts developing when Brendan kisses her.

And that kiss. So chaste and shy and yet she's like, wow yeah let's have sex now.

"You're not as shy as you look." LOL

For the pre-sex scene I just wanna link y'all to @killian-whump 's post about it, since it says it all.

Also dude the voicemail is set up from that moment too, but we've yet to hear what it includes, aside from his mother being bossy about the smallest things. "I hope you haven't gone back to bed." IF ONLY YOU KNEW. Not only what bed he's gone to, but also what he's doing on said bed.

"You don't waste much time, do you?" Lol if only you knew. And again his first response is to apologize if he did anything wrong.

And you know what? Plot twists are a hell of a lot of fun and well made when they make you go back and see things with the new perspective. Like, how chill and simple she was, why she said the last line I mentioned, the newly-known reasons why she said it was kinky to have sex in his mother's bedroom... *slams hand on table* That's a great way to do a plot twist! A fucking plus!

Like seriously, this convo: B: Have you met my father? M: No, but a lot of the other girls have though.

Pre-plot twist viewer: Wow whAT how do you say it like that Post-plot twist viewer: Yeah makes sense

M: I think he gets sympathy from them, like, you know, cause his wife's such an old witch... *realizes* Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that! *more failed excuses and then THAT face*

And like, that's a bit inappropriate in any case but pre-plot twist you're like WTAF. And then you're like eh makes sense for frustrated employees to pity their bitchy boss' seemingly calm husband...

And there's that set-up from before. Job well done, film.

And then their argument about the money. Brendan being confused about the amount, Mandy saying she'll come back and speak to his mother about it...

Seriously though what if he'd found out the voicemail after he'd had sex and before the "confrontation"? Would he like, have sent her on her merry way with all the money and then had more sex with the actual call girl?

And then his instinct, to try and make sure his mother won't find out, is to fucking threaten the woman with a knife. Wow, a little too much, Brendan. And then his first instinct, when they're fighting, is to search and grab the knife and fucking stab her. Lbr though that's just baby Colin finding his call for playing messed-up characters.

Also how did she die so quickly. Guess I found one weakness in the plot XD

And now you're like Jesus he just murdered her but when Barbara comes a-knocking and he looks at her and exasperatedly calls her name, you're like... same, bro.

And the stupid bastard didn't even wash the blood off his arm. Like seriously, Brendan, either do a murder correctly or don't do it at all. At least you can't say he wasn't dedicated, bro sliced his own arm open. *pats head* you'll learn, my little murderous bean, you'll learn.

Brendan: I was doing the dishes. Barbara: Did your parents leave them for you to do? They must have left in a rush this morning.

Yes, Barbara, he can do the dishes, he's in an undetermined age between late teens and-

Barbara: They didn't even make their bed.

Wtf you nosy bitch.

See what I'm saying? Full character development for a character with like, two minutes of screentime.

And then the voicemail drops like an anvil. My first thought when his mother said that Mandy is nothing but trouble I was like "Yo look who's talking" but then I thought that... yeah she did creep in her boss' bedroom, actually had sex with her son in it, then pretty much talked dirt to him about her... I mean she definitely didn't deserve to die, but maybe his mother was a good judge of character for one (1) moment.

And then Lorraine appears.

And Brendan's like "Now I have money for like, three hours with her. Maybe I'll even convince her to help me hide the body too."

“OR MAYBE I’LL JUST KILL HER TOO.”

In conlusion, yup, I’m pretty glad I spent a good hour and a bit watching, analyzing, writing this review and screencapping this film. 10/10 would rewatch and review again.

#Colin O'Donoghue #/#//#///#////#Call Girl

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starlightshoe · 5 years

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tagged in a tag game by the radical @piscis-pictor-austrinos !! thank ypue!! i almost never see when im mentioned in my activity so its nice to finally catch one!! tagging @69420coolman @romanticwyvern @memequeenmachine420 @galaxyvent @yoursaltness @yoursjuli @some-lonely-knight and anyone else who wants to do it (i know thats a little eh of a end but im seriois if you want to do it but arent tagged you are called upon by me personally!)

Questions:

Are you named after someone?

apparently i have a grandma or greater on my dads side?? that has my same first name!! and my multitude of middle names apparently comes from some names in my family. in another universe however, my mom decided to go through with naming me justice or maria/h!

Last time I cried?

cannot remember actually, but then again a few days ago becomes a major blur in summer! i do think it was because i was snapped at in an hour of major stress tho so bummer

Do I use sarcasm?

i tend to be and come across as a lot more sarcastic irl?? i gues?? i dont talk much but i have roasted before and made witty split second words ex. i was playin uno with the Boiz during the last weeks of school and we started a bruh chain. when the guy before me completed his bruh i went immidiately after, skipping over my ex-crush and when everyone noticed i went “nah hes not even a part of this[the game]” and i think that was the last thing i said to him b4 gradiation so like that was. a heck of a sendoff

First thing I notice about a person?

i feel vibes with a person sometimes!! like i immediately had a good gut feeling about a teacher man in the waiting room of a doctors office and me and my sister chatted with him some very very good discussioning happening there! otherwise i wanna say i notice voices too! i can hear a lot through peoples voices!

What’s your eye colour?

dark brown! you can still tell from a distance they are brown and not black tho

Scary movies or Happy Endings?

i can make do with either! sometimes if you truly feel a story shouldve had a happier end and the characters deserved better you can always yank them out and into a happier au!

Special Talent?

hmmm. it is not very unique but it is a skill that is pretty useful! i am growing to be an efficient pirate and one day i shall finally kinfirm rip off rodney from icarly except my trench coat has copies of The Lion King but it has both versions in case you face disappointment from the cgi one. it will also have funky menus.

Birthplace?

i was born in nevada a little ways away from las vegas!!! my records got busted like many years ago and i only BARELY got my birth certificate back! i suppose thats a good thing we never drove to mexico and back in that time. oof.

Hobbies?

GOD I NEVER REALIZED BUT i dabble in a lot of things! however i am always drawing and editing stuff! i also video game, plant, and hand made craft as well!

Pets?

I AM playing neko atsume in real life. the original 2 cats are kajoy (chartreux, scrappy, bastard man) and joint custody of oj(mijo) ((old lazey tabby man)). and the 3rd recurring cat is jack black, my main son who is very afraid and black and lovey and is scared of staying in the house for more than 5 hours. there are also 2 brand new recurring cats that just came in this summer in the black and white kitty family: cow kitty who has a hairline and is simply trying to get by, and mama kitty who looks vaguely pregnant and has a nasty scar on her forehead and has a soft meow

Do/Have you played any sports?

cannot due to many allergy and heart or thyroid issues! however i think running is fun sometimes you just got that zest for life you know

Height?

I have been 5 foot 3 for 4 years.

Favourite subject in school?

god!! science good! i have always appreciated it even when it was difficult and think learning about it is neat.

Dream job?

im going into a computer science x physics major in the fall, but i have ALWAYS fell in love with robotics as a youngerone who got to work with them in school sometimes, and now as i get older space is fucking COOL, and now i am realizing that working on shit like either artificial intelligence or the code behind anything about to launch into space would be fucking neat as hell!!

#thank!!!!!!!!!!

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maximelebled · 5 years

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Growing Pains - Zelda, Tony Hawk, The Sims, games and related memories from my formative years

This blog post is about my personal history with video games, how they influenced me growing up, how they sometimes helped me, and more or less an excuse to write about associated memories with them.

This is a very straightforward intro, because I’ve had this post sitting as a draft for ages, trying to glue all of it cohesively, but I’m not a very good writer, so I never really succeeded. Some of these paragraphs date back at least one year.

And I figured I should write about a lot of this as long as I still remember clearly, or not too inaccurately. Because I know that I don’t remember my earliest ever memory. I only remember how I remember it. So I might as well help my future self here, and give myself a good memento.

Anyway, the post is a kilometer long, so it’ll be under this cut.

My family got a Windows 95 computer when I was 3 years old. While I don’t remember this personally, I’m told that one of the first things I ever did with it was mess up with the BIOS settings so badly that dad’s computer-expert friend had to be invited to repair it. (He stayed for dinner as a thank you.)

It was that off-white plastic tower, it had a turbo button, and even a 4X CD reader! Wow! And the CRT monitor must have been... I don’t remember what it was, actually. But I do once remember launching a game at a stupidly high resolution: 1280x1024! And despite being a top-down 2D strategy, it ran VERY slowly. Its video card was an ATI Rage. I had no idea what that really meant that at the time, but I do recall that detail nonetheless.

Along with legitimately purchased games, the list of which I can remember:

Tubular Worlds

Descent II

Alone in the Dark I & III

Lost Eden

Formula One (not sure which game exactly)

Heart of Darkness

(and of course the famous Adibou/Adi series of educational games)

... we also had what I realize today were cracked/pirated games, from the work-friend that had set up the family computer. I remember the following:

Age of Empires I (not sure about that one, I think it might have been from a legitimate “Microsoft Plus!” disc)

Nightmare Creatures (yep, there was a PC port of that game)

Earthworm Jim (but without any music)

The Fifth Element

Moto Racer II

There are a few other memorable games, which were memorable in most aspects, except their name. I just cannot remember their name. And believe me, I have looked. Too bad! Anyway, in this list, I can point out a couple games that made a big mark on me.

First, the Alone in the Dark trilogy. It took me a long time to beat them. I still remember the morning I beat the third game. I think it was in 2001 or 2002.

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There was a specific death in it which gave me nightmares for a week. You shrink yourself to fit through a crack in a wall, but it’s possible to let a timer run out—or fall down a hole—and this terrifying thing happens (16:03). I remember sometimes struggling to run the game for no reason; something about DOS Extended Memory being too small.

I really like the low-poly flat-shaded 3D + hand-drawn 2D style of the game, and it’d be really cool to see something like that pop up again. After the 8-bit/16-bit trend, there’s now more and more games paying tribute to rough PS1-style 3D, so maybe this will happen? Maybe I’ll have to do it myself? Who knows!

Second, Lost Eden gave me a taste for adventure and good music, and outlandish fantasy universes. Here’s the intro to the game:

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A lot of the game is very evocative, especially its gorgeous soundtrack, and you spend a lot of time trekking through somewhat empty renders of landscapes. Despite being very rough early pre-rendered 3D, those places were an incredible journey in my young eyes. If you have some time, I suggest either playing the game (it’s available on Steam) or watching / skimmering through this “longplay” video. Here are some of my personal highlights: 25:35, 38:05, 52:15 (love that landscape), 1:17:20, 1:20:20 (another landscape burned in my neurons), 2:12:10, 2:55:30, 3:01:18. (spoiler warning)

But let’s go a couple years back. Ever since my youngest years, I was very intrigued by creation. I filled entire pocket-sized notebooks with writing—sometimes attempts at fiction, sometimes daily logs like the weather reports from the newspaper, sometimes really bad attempts at drawing. I also filled entire audio tapes over and over and OVER with “fake shows” that my sister and I would act out. The only thing that survived is this picture of 3-year-old me with the tape player/recorder.

It also turns out that the tape recorder AND the shelf have both survived.

(I don’t know if it still works.)

On Wednesday afternoons (school was off) and on the week-ends, I often got to play on the family computer, most of the time with my older brother, who’s the one who introduced me to... well... all of it, really. (Looking back on the games he bought, I can say he had very good tastes.)

Moto Racer II came with a track editor. It was simple but pretty cool to play around with. You just had to make the track path and elevation; all the scenery was generated by the game. You could draw impossible tracks that overlapped themselves, but the editor wouldn’t let you save them. However, I found out there was a way to play/save them no matter what you did, and I got to experiment with crazy glitches. 85 degree inclines that launched the bike so high you couldn’t see the ground anymore? No problem. Tracks that overlapped themselves several times, causing very strange behaviour at the meeting points? You bet. That stuff made me really curious about how video games worked. I think a lot of my initial interest in games can be traced back to that one moment I figured out how to exploit the track editor...

There was also another game—I think it was Tubular Worlds—that came on floppy disks. I don’t remember what exactly lead me to do it, but I managed to edit the text that was displayed by the installer... I think it was the license agreement bit of it. That got me even more curious as to how computers worked.

Up until some time around my 13th or 14th birthday, during summer break (the last days of June to the first days of September for French pupils), my sister and I would always go on vacation at my grandparents’ home.

The very first console game I ever played was The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on my cousin’s Super Nintendo, who also usually stayed with us. Unlike us, he had quite a few consoles available to him, and brought a couple along. My first time watching and playing this game was absolutely mind-blowing to me. An adventure with a huge game world to explore, so many mysterious things at every corner. “Why are you a pink rabbit now?” “I’m looking for the pearl that will help me not be that.”

Growing up and working in the games industry has taken the magic out of many things in video games... and my curiosity for the medium (and its inner workings) definitely hasn’t helped. I know more obscure technical trivia about older games than I care to admit. But I think this is what is shaping my tastes in video games nowadays... part of it is that I crave story-rich experiences that can bring me back to a, for lack of a better term, “child-like” wonderment. And I know how weird this is going to sound, but I don’t really enjoy “pure gameplay” games as much for that reason. Some of the high-concept ones are great, of course (e.g. Tetris), but I usually can’t enjoy others without a good interwoven narrative. I can’t imagine I would have completed The Talos Principle had it consisted purely of the puzzles without any narrative beats, story bits, and all that. What I’m getting at is, thinking about it, I guess I tend to value the “narrative” side of games pretty highly, because, to me, it’s one of the aspects of the medium that, even if distillable to some formulas, is inherently way more “vague” and “ungraspable”. You can do disassembly on game mechanics and figure out even the most obsure bits of weird technical trivia. You can’t do that to a plot, a universe, characters, etc. or at least nowhere near to the same extent.

You can take a good story and weave it into a number of games, but the opposite is not true. It’s easy to figure out the inner working of gameplay mechanics, and take the magic out of them, but it’s a lot harder to do that for a story, unless it’s fundamentally flawed in some way.

Video games back then seemed a lot bigger than they actually were.

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I got Heart of Darkness as a gift in 1998 or 1999. We used to celebrate Christmas at my grandparents’, so I had to wait a few days to be back home, and to able to put the CD in the computer. But boy was it worth it! Those animated cutscenes! The amazing pixel art animations! The amazing and somewhat disturbing variety of ways in which you can die, most of which gruesome and mildly graphic! And of course, yet again... a strange and outlandish universe that just scratches my itch for it. Well, one of which that forged my taste for them.

I can’t remember exactly when it happened or what it was, but I do remember that at some point we visited some sort of... exposition? Exhibit? Something along those lines. And it had a board games & computer games section. The two that stick out in my mind were Abalone (of which I still have the box somewhere) and what I think was some sort of 2D isometric (MMO?) RPG. I wanna say it was Ultima Online but I recall it looking more primitive than that (it had small maps whose “void” outside them was a single blueish color).

In my last two years of elementary school, there was one big field trip per year. They lasted two weeks, away from family. The first one was to the Alps. The second one was... not too far from where I live now, somewhere on the coast of Brittany! I have tried really hard to find out exactly where it was, as I remember the building and facilities really well, but I was never able to find it again. On a couple occasions, we went on a boat with some kind of... algae harvesters? The smell was extremely strong (burning itself into my memory) and made me sick. The reason I bring them up is because quite a few of my classmates had Game Boy consoles, most of them with, you know, all those accessories, especially the little lights. I remember being amazed at the transparent ones. Play was usually during the off-times, and I watched what my friends were up to, with, of course, a bit of jealousy mixed in. The class traveled by bus, and it took off in the middle of the night; something like 3 or 4 in the morning? It seemed like such a huge deal at the time! Now here I am, writing THESE WORDS at 03:00. Anyway, most of my classmates didn’t fall back asleep and those that had a Game Boy just started playing on them. One of my classmates, however, handed me his whole kit and I got to do pretty much what I wanted with it, with the express condition that I would not overwrite any of his save files. I remember getting reasonably far in Pokémon before I had to give it back to him and my progress was wiped.

During the trip to the Alps, I remember seeing older kids paying for computer time; there was a row of five computers in a small room... and they played Counter-Strike. I had absolutely no idea what it was, and I would forget about it until the moment I’m writing these words, but I was watching with much curiosity.

The first time I had my own access to console games was in 2001. The first Harry Potter film had just come out, and at Christmas, I was gifted a Game Boy Advance with the first official game. I just looked it up again and good god, it’s rougher than I remember. The three most memorable GBA games which I then got to play were both Golden Sun(s) and Sword of Mana... especially the latter, with its gorgeous art direction. My dad had a cellphone back then, and I remember sneakily going on there to look up a walkthrough for a tricky part of Golden Sun’s desert bit. Cellphones had access to something called “WAP” internet... very basic stuff, but of course still incredible to me back then.

I eventually got to play another Zelda game on my GBA: Link’s Awakening DX. I have very fond memories of that one because I was bed-ridden with a terrible flu. My fever ran so high that I started having some really funky dreams, delirious half-awake hallucinations/feelings, and one night, I got so hot that I stumbled out of bed and just laid down against the cold tile of the hallway. At 3 in the morning! A crazy time! (Crazy for 11-year-old me.)

(The fever hallucinations were crazy. My bedroom felt like it was three times at big, and I was convinced that a pack of elephants were charging at me from the opposite corner. The “night grain” of my vision felt sharper, amplified. Every touch, my sore body rubbing against the bed covers felt like it was happening twice as much. You know that “Heavy Rain with 300% facial animation” video? Imagine that, but as a feverish feeling. The dreams were on another level entirely. I could spend pages on them, but suffice to say that’s when I had my first dream where I dreamed of dying. There were at least two, actually. The first one was by walking down a strange, blueish metal corridor, then getting in an elevator, and then feeling that intimate convinction that it was leading me to passing over. The second one was in some Myst-like world, straight out of a Roger Dean cover, with some sort of mini-habitat pods floating on a completely undisturbed lake. We were just trapped in them. It just felt like some kind of weird afterlife.)

I also eventually got to play the GBA port of A Link To The Past. My uncle was pretty amused by seeing me play it, as he’d also played the original on SNES before I’d even been born. I asked him for help with a boss (the first Dark World one), but unfortunately, he admitted he didn’t remember much of the game.

We had a skiing holiday around this time. I don’t remember the resort’s or the town’s name, but its sights are burned in my memory. Maybe it’s because, shortly after we arrived, and we went to the ski rental place, I almost fainted and puked on myself, supposedly from the low oxygen. It also turned out that the bedroom my parents had rented unexpectedly came with a SNES in the drawer under the tiny TV. The game: Super Mario World. I got sick at one point and got to stay in and play it. This was also the holiday where I developed a fondness for iced tea, although back then the most common brand left an awful aftertaste in your mouth that just made you even more thirsty.

We got a new PC in December of 2004. Ditching the old Windows 98 SE (yep, the OS had been upgraded in... 2002, I think?). Look at how old-school this looks. The computer office room was in the basement. Even with the blur job that I applied to the monitor for privacy reasons, you can still tell that this is the XP file explorer:

A look at what the old DSLR managed to capture on the shelf reveals some more of the games that were available to me back then: a bunch of educational software, The Sims 2, and SpellForce Gold.

I might be misremembering but I think they were our Christmas gifts for that year; we both got to pick one game. I had no idea what I wanted, really, but out of all the boxes at (what I think was) the local Fnac store, it was SpellForce that stood out to me the most. Having watched Lord of the Rings the year prior might have been a factor. I somewhat understood Age of Empires years before that, but SpellForce? Man, I loved the hell out of SpellForce. Imagine a top-down RPG that can also be played from a third-person perspective. And with the concept of... hero units... wait a second... now that reminds me of Dota.

Imagine playing a Dota hero with lots of micro-management and being able to build a whole base on new maps. And sometimes visiting very RPG-ish sections (my favorites!) with very little top-down strategy bits, towns, etc. like Siltbreaker. I guess this game was somewhat like an alternate, single-player Dota if you look at it from the right angle. (Not the third-person one.)

I do remember being very excited when I found out that it, too, came with a level editor. I never figured it out, though. I only ever got as far as making a nice landscape for my island, and that was it!

A couple weeks after, it was Christmas; my sister and I got our first modern PC game: The Sims 2. It didn’t run super well—most games didn’t, because the nVidia GeForce FX 5200 wasn’t very good. But that didn’t stop me or my sister from going absolutely nuts with the game. This video has the timestamp of 09 January 2005, and it is the first video I’ve ever made with a computer. Less than two weeks after we got the game, I was already neck-deep in creating stuff.

Not that it was particularly good, of course. This is a video that meets all of the “early YouTube Windows Movie Maker clichés”.

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Speaking of YouTube, I did register an account there pretty early on, in August of 2006. I’ve been through all of it. I remember every single layout change. I also started using Sony Vegas around that time. It felt so complex and advanced back then! And I’m still using it today. Besides Windows, Vegas Pro is very likely to be the piece of software that I’ve been using for the longest time.

I don’t have a video on YouTube from before 2009, because I decided to delete all of them out of embarassment. They were mostly Super Mario 64 machinima. It’s as bad as it sounds. The reason I bring that up right now, though, is that it makes the “first” video of my account the last one I made with the Sims 2.

But before I get too far ahead with my early YouTube days, let me go backwards a bit. We got hooked up to the Internet some time in late 2005. It was RTC (dialup), 56 kbps. my first steps into the Internet led me to the Cube engine. Mostly because back then my dad would purchase computer magazines (which were genuinely helpful back then), and came with CDs of common downloadable software for those without Internet connections. One of them linked to Cube. I think it was using either this very same screenshot, or a very similar one, on the same map.

The amazing thing about Cube is not only that it was open-source and moddable, but had map editing built-in the game. The mode was toggled on with a single key press. You could even edit maps cooperatively with other people. Multiplayer mapping! How cool is that?! And the idea of a game that enabled so much creation was amazing to me, so I downloaded it right away. (Over the course of several hours, 30 MiB being large for dialup.)

I made lots of bad maps that never fulfilled the definition of “good level” or “good gameplay”, not having any idea how “game design” meant, or what it even was. But I made places. Places that I could call my own. “Virtual homes”. I still distinctively remember the first map I ever made, even though no trace of it survives to this day. In the second smallest map size possible, I’d made a tower surrounded by a moat and a few smaller cozy towers, with lots of nice colored lighting. This, along with the distinctive skyboxes and intriguing music, made me feel like I’d made my home in a strange new world.

At some point later down the line, I made a kinda-decent singleplayer level. It was very linear, but one of the two lead developers of the game played it and told me he liked it a lot! Of course, half of that statement was probably “to be nice”, but it was really validating and encouraging. And I’m glad they were like that. Because I remember being annoying to some other mappers in the Sauerbraten community (the follow-up to Cube, more advanced technically), who couldn’t wrap their heads around my absolutely god awful texturing work and complete lack of level “design”. Honestly, sometimes, I actually kinda feel like trying to track a couple of them down and being like, “yeah, remember that annoying kid? That was me. Sorry you had to deal with 14-year-old me.”

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At some point, I stumbled upon a mod called Cube Legends. It was a heavily Zelda-inspired “total conversion”; a term reserved for mods that are the moddiest mods and try to take away as much of the original foundation as possible. It featured lots of evocative MIDI music by the Norwegian composer Bjørn Lynne. Fun fact: the .mid files are still available officially from his website!

This was at the crossroad of many of my interests. It was yet another piece of the puzzle. As a quick side note, this is why Zelda is the first series that I name in the title of this post, even though I... never really thought of myself as a Zelda fan. It’s not that it’s one of the game series that I like the most, it’s just that, before I started writing this, I’d never realized how far-reaching its influence had been in my life, both in overt and subtle ways, especially during my formative years.

And despite how clearly unfinished, how much of a “draft” Cube Legends was, I could see what it was trying to do. I could see the author’s intent. And I’m still listening to Bjørn Lynne’s music today.

The Cube Engine and its forums were a big part of why I started speaking English so well. Compared to most French people, I mean. We’re notoriously bad with the English language, and so was I up until then. But having this much hands-on practice proved to be immensely valuable. And so, I can say that the game and its community have therefore had long-lasting impacts in my life.

I also tried out a bunch of N64 games via emulation, bringing me right back in that bedroom at my grandparents’ house, with my cousin. Though he did not have either N64 Zelda game back then.

The first online forum I ever joined was a Zelda fan site’s. There are two noteworthy things to say here:

It was managed by a woman who, during my stay in the community, graduated from her animation degree. At this stage I had absolutely no idea that this was going to be the line of work I would eventually pursue!

I recently ran into the former head moderator of the forums. (I don’t know when the community died.) One of the Dota players on my friends list invited him because I was like “hmm, I wanna go as 3, not as 2 players today”. His nickname very vaguely reminded me of something, a weird hunch I couldn’t place. Half an hour into the game, he said “hey Max... this might be a long shot, but did you ever visit [forum]?” and then I immediately yelled “OH MY GOD—IT IS YOU.” The world is a small place.

Access to the computer was sometimes tricky. I didn’t always have good grades, and of course, “punishment” (not sure the word is appropriate, hence the quotes, but you get the idea) often involved locking me out of the computer room. Of course, most times, I ended up trying to find the key instead. I needed my escape from the real world. (You better believe it’s Tangent Time.)

I was always told I was the “smart kid”, because I “understood things faster” than my classmates. So they made me skip two grades ahead. This made me enter high school at nine years old. The consequences were awful (I was even more of the typical nerdy kid that wouldn’t fit in), and I wish it had never happened. Over the years, I finally understood: I wasn’t more intelligent. I merely had the chance to have been able to grow up with an older brother who’d instilled a sense of curiosity, critical thinking, and taste in books that were ahead of my age and reading level. This situation—and its opposite—is what I believe accounts for the difference in how well kids get to learn. It’s not innate talent, it’s not genetics (as some racists would like you to believe). It’s parenting and privilege.

And that’s why I’ll always be an outspoken proponent for any piece of media that tries to instill critical thinking and curiosity in its viewer, reader, or player.

But I digress.

Well, I’ve been digressing a lot, really, but games aren’t everything and after all, this post is about the context in which I played those games. Otherwise I reckon I would’ve just made a simple list.

I eventually got a Nintendo DS for Christmas, along with Mario Kart DS. My sister had gotten her own just around the time when it released... she had the Nintendogs bundle. We had also upgraded to proper ADSL, what I think was about a ~5 megabits download speed. The Nintendo DS supported wi-fi, which was still relatively rare compared to today. In fact, Nintendo sold a USB wireless adapter to help with that issue—our ISP-supplied modem-router did not have any wireless capabilities. I couldn’t get it the adapter work and I remember I got help from a really kind stranger who knew a lot about networking—to a point that it seemed like wizardry to me.

I remember I got a “discman” as a gift some time around that point. In fact, I still have it. Check out the stickers I put on it! I think those came from the Sims 2 DVD box and/or one of its add-ons.

I burned a lot of discs. In fact, in the stack of burned CDs/DVDs that I found (with the really bad Sims movies somewhere in there), I found at least three discs that had the Zelda album Hyrule Symphony burned in, each with different additional tracks. Some were straight-up MIDI files from vgmusic.com...! And speaking (again) of Zelda, when the Wii came out, Twilight Princess utterly blew my mind. I never got the game or the console, but damn did I yearn badly for it. I listened to the main theme of the game a lot, which didn’t help. I eventually got to play the first few hours at a friend’s place.

At some point, we’d upgraded the family computer to something with a bit more horsepower. It had a GeForce 8500 GT inside, which was eventually upgraded to a 9600 GT after the card failed for some reason. It could also dual-boot between XP and Vista. I stuck with that computer until 2011.

We moved to where I currently live in 2007. I’ve been here over a decade! And before we’d even fully finished unpacking, I was on the floor of the room that is now my office, with the computer on the ground and the monitor on a cardboard box, playing a pirated copy of... Half-Life! It was given to me by my cousin. It took me that long to find out about the series. It’s the first Valve game I played. I also later heard about the Orange Box, but mostly about Portal. Which I also pirated and played. I distinctly remember being very puzzled by the options menu: I thought it was glitched or broken, as changing settings froze the game. Turns out the Source engine had to chug for a little while, like a city car in countryside mud, as it reloaded a bunch of stuff. Patience is a virtue...

But then, something serious happened.

In the afternoon of 25 December 2007, I started having a bit of a dull stomach pain. I didn’t think much of it. Figured maybe I’d eaten too many Christmas chocolates and it’d go away. It didn’t. It progressively deteriorated into a high fever where I had trouble walking and my tummy really hurt; especially if you pressed on it. My parents tried to gently get me to eat something nice on New Year’s Eve, but it didn’t stay in very long. I could only feed myself with lemonade and painkiller. Eventually, the doctor decided I should get blood tests done as soon as possible. And I remember that day very clearly.

I was already up at 6:30 in the morning. Back then, The Daily Show aired on the French TV channel Canal+, so I was watching that, lying in the couch while waiting for my mom to get up and drive me to my appointment, at 7:00. It was just two streets away, but there was no way I could walk there. At around noon, the doctor called and told my mom: “get your son to the emergency room now.”

Long story short, part of my intestines nuked themselves into oblivion, causing acute peritonitis. To give you an idea, that’s something with a double-digit fatality rate. Had we waited maybe a day or two more, I would not be here writing this. They kind of blew up. I had an enormous abcess attached to a bunch of my organs. I had to be operated on with only weak local anaesthetics as they tried to start draining the abscess. It is, to date, by far the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. It was bad enough that the hospital doctor that was on my case told me that I was pretty much a case worthy to be in textbooks. I even had medical students come into my hospital room about it! They were very nice.

This whole affair lasted over a month. I became intimately familiar with TV schedules. And thankfully, I had my DS to keep me company. At the time, I was pretty big into the Tony Hawk DS games. They were genuinely good. They had extensive customization, really great replayability, etc. you get the idea. I think I even got pretty high on the online leaderboards at some point. I didn’t have much to do on some days besides lying down in pain while perfecting my scoring and combo strategies. I think Downhill Jam might’ve been my favorite.

My case was bad enough that they were unable to do something due to the sad state of my insides during the last surgery of my stay. I was told that I could come back in a few months for a checkup, and potentially a “cleanup” operation that would fix me up for good. I came back in late June of 2008, got the operation, and... woke up in my hospital room surrounded by, like, nine doctors, and hooked up to a morphine machine that I could trigger on command. Apparently something had gone wrong during the operation, but they never told me what. I wasn’t legally an adult, so they didn’t have to tell me. I suspect it’s somewhere in some medical files, but I never bothered to dig up through my parents’ archives, or ask the hospital. And I think I would rather not know. But anyway, that was almost three more weeks in the hospital. And it sucked even more that time because, you see, hospital beds do not “breathe” like regular beds do. The air can’t go through. Let’s say I’m intimately familiar with the smell of back sweat forever.

When I got out, my mom stopped by a supermarket on the way home. And that is when I bought The Orange Box, completely on a whim, and made my Steam account. Why? Because it was orange and stood out on the shelf.

(As a side note, that was the whole bit I started writing first, and that made me initially title this post “growing pains”. First, because I’m bad at titles. Second, because not that I didn’t have them otherwise (ow oof ouch my knees), but that was literally the most painful episode of my entire life thus far and it ended in a comically-unrelated, high-impact, life-changing decision. Just me picking up The Orange Box after two awful hospital stays... led me to where I am today.)

While I was recovering, I also started playing EarthBound! Another bit of a life-changer, that one. To a lesser extent, but still. I was immediately enamored by its unique tone. Giygas really really really creeped me out for a while afterwards though. I still get unsettled if I hear its noises sometimes.

I later bought Garry’s Mod (after convincing my mom that it was a “great creative toolbox that only cost ten bucks!”), and, well, the rest is history. By which I mean, a lot of my work and gaming activity since 2009 is still up and browsable. But there are still a few things to talk about.

In 2009, I bought my first computer with YouTube ad money: the Asus eee PC 1005HA-H. By modern standards, it’s... not very powerful. The processor in my current desktop machine is nearly 50 times as fast as its Atom N280. It had only one gigabyte of RAM, Windows 7 Basic Edition, and an integrated GPU barely worthy of the name; Intel didn’t care much for 3D in their chips back then. The GMA 945 didn’t even have hardware support for Transform & Lighting.

But I made it work, damn it. I made that machine run so much stuff. I played countless Half-Life and Half-Life 2 mods on it—though, due to the CPU overhead on geometry, some of those were trickier. I think one of the most memorable ones I played was Mistake of Pythagoras; very surreal, very rough, but I still remember it so clearly. I later played The Longest Journey on it, in the middle of winter. It was a very cozy and memorable experience. (And another one that’s an adventure wonderful outlandish alien universe. LOVE THOSE.)

I did more than playing games on it, though...

This is me sitting, sunburned on the nose, in an apartment room, on 06 August 2010. This was in the Pyrénées, at the border between France and Spain. We had a vacation with daily hiking. Some of the landscapes we visited reminded me very strongly of those from Lost Eden, way up the page...

So, you see, I had 3ds Max running on that machine. The Source SDK as well. Sony Vegas. All of it was slow; you bet I had to use some workarounds to squeeze performance out of software, and that I had to keep a close, watchful eye on RAM usage. But I worked on this thing. I really did! I animated this video’s facial animation bits (warning: this is old & bad) on the eee PC, during the evenings of the trip, when we were back at our accomodation. The Faceposer tool in the Source SDK really worked well on that machine.

I also animated an entire video solely on the machine (warning: also old and bad). It had to be rendered on the desktop computer... but every single bit of the animation was crafted on the eee PC.

I made it work.

Speaking of software that did not run well: around that time, I also played the original Crysis. The “but can it run Crysis?” joke was very much justified back then. I had to edit configuration files by hand so that I could run the game in 640x480... because I wanted to keep most of the high-end settings enabled. The motion blur was delicious, and it blew my mind that the effect made the game feel this smooth, despite wobbling around in the 20 to 30 fps range.

Alright. It’s time to finish writing this damn post and publish it at last, so I’m going to close it out by listing some more memories and games that I couldn’t work in up there.

Advance Wars. Strategy game on GBA with a top-down level editor. You better believe I was all over the editor right away.

BioShock. When we got the 2007 desktop computer, it was one of the first games I tried. Well, its demo, to be precise. Its tech and graphics blew my mind, enough that I saved up to buy the full game. This was before I had a Steam account; I got a boxed copy! I think it might have been the last boxed game I ever bought? It had a really nice metal case. The themes and political messages of the game flew way over my head, though.

Mirror’s Edge. The art direction was completely fascinating to me, and it introduced me to Solar Fields’ music; my most listened artist this decade, by a long shot.

L.A. Noire. I lost myself in its stories and investigations, and then, I did it all again, with my sister at the helm. I very rarely play games twice (directly or indirectly), which I figure is worth mentioning.

Zeno Clash. It was weird and full of soul, had cool music, and cool cutscenes. It inspired me a lot in my early animation days.

Skyward Sword. Yep, going back to Zelda on that one. The whole game was pretty good, and I’m still thinking about how amazing its art direction was. Look up screenshots of it running in HD on an emulator... it’s outstanding. But there’s a portion of the game that stands tall above the rest: the Lanayru Sand Sea. It managed to create a really striking atmosphere in many aspects, through and through. I still think about it from time to time, especially when its music comes on in shuffle mode.

Wandersong. A very recent pick, but it was absolutely a life-changing one. That game is an anti-depressant, a vaccine against cynicism, a lone bright and optimist voice.

I realize now this is basically a “flawed but interesting and impactful games” list. With “can establish its atmosphere very well” as a big criteria. (A segment of video games that is absolutely worth exploring.)

I don’t know if I’ll ever make my own video game. I have a few ideas floating around and I tried prototyping some stuff, though my limited programming abilities stood in my way. But either way, if it happens one day, I hope I’ll manage to channel all those years of games into the CULMINATION OF WHAT I LIKE. Something along those lines, I reckon.

#video games

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hope-for-olicity · 7 years

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Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - April 14th, 2017

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! Had issues with the hyperlinks this week so the link is now posted separately. They are posted in the order I read them.

Pieces of Always multi-chapter by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356 Deceive, Inveigle and Obfuscate multi-chapter by @machawicket - AWESOME story about a pretend marriage between Oliver and Felicity for reasons http://archiveofourown.org/works/6452551/chapters/22278530 Time for a Story multi-chapter by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. Now on Chapter 145 so so awesome!!! http://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172 A Soul Lost at Sea multi-chapter by @tinaday3w - MAGNIFICENT regency romance where Oliver is a pirate who had returned to his previous life. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8181362/chapters/22297091 The Challenge by @felicityollies for Olicity Valentine's Smut-a-thon - Prompt: “You look real good in that suit/dress/skirt/outfit.” http://archiveofourown.org/works/9725273 Untitled by @onceuponanolicity for Olicity Valentine's Smut-a-thon -Prompt: Guy on top https://olicityvalentinesdaysmut-a-thon.tumblr.com/post/157247355707/an-from-onceuponanolicity-it-is-the Untitled by @so-caffeinated - Flash fic set in Pieces of You universe, includes some Bed Bath and Beyond for reasons https://so-caffeinated.tumblr.com/post/159099136389/slight-deviation-from-the-prompt-right-after-i Part of My Heart by CharArrow- What she thought would be a simple FaceTime from her mom, leaves Felicity in desperate need of Oliver and Diggle's help. It also leaves her guys with many questions. Season 2 rewrite. http://archiveofourown.org/works/9522344/chapters/21533129 Redemption multi-chapter by @vaelisamaza Oliver returns for being with the League after five - this story gets better and better - you should be reading this! http://archiveofourown.org/works/9107518/chapters/22278866 Starling Archers multi-chapter by @missyriver and @thebookjumper - When Oliver Queen signs up for a computer programming class at Starling University, he doesn't realize the girl he's been crushing on since his junior year is the TA for the class. Ever since they first met, she's never seemed interested in him, but the pride of the Archery team isn't used to not getting what he wants. And Felicity Smoak is definitely what he wants. SO AWESOME, keeping my fingers crossed for more. http://archiveofourown.org/works/10575477/chapters/23368998 I told you so... by @wherethereissmoak - Based on the prompt "I just like proving you wrong." Felicity asked Oliver not to go out of town a few weeks before their baby was due, but he thought they had plenty of time. - http://archiveofourown.org/works/10363836/chapters/23369913 Bake for a Date multi-chapter by @oycharlynnrose Donna enters Felicity in a baking contest to win a date with her boss Oliver Queen - Super Sweet and Delightful, link to first chapter, rest are also on blog http://oycharlynnrose.tumblr.com/post/153149385765/bake-for-a-date-with-oliver-queen-week-one#notes The White Queen by @felicityollies - How do you break a man that is already so very broken? You break the love of his life, of course. Very Dark. http://archiveofourown.org/works/10342245 Keep it Professional multi-chapter by @mogirl97 - Oliver is assigned to be Felicity's bodyguard http://archiveofourown.org/works/9243455/chapters/20960405 Trust Me multi-chapter by @felicityollies - When a prostitute meets the perfect client, she has to remind herself that there’s no room for getting close to someone in her line of work. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8487226/chapters/22503983 Pour Jouir Par Terre by onanomotopeioa for Olicity Valentine's Smut-a-thon - Prompt: post-workout locker room sex http://archiveofourown.org/works/9722168 All I wanna do (Let Go Tonight) by @bokayjunkie for Olicity Valentine's Smut-a-thon - “Oh, don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view. http://archiveofourown.org/works/9720239 To Sacrifice the Sun multi-chapter by @emmilynestill - Oliver and Felicity are ARGUS agents working on a mission in Mexico, the two share some very important history. LOVE THIS http://archiveofourown.org/works/7510744/chapters/22505918 Until the End Draws Near Parts I-IV multi-chapter by @geniewithwifi - Arrow 5x20 spec - So ADDICTIVE! http://archiveofourown.org/works/10584138/chapters/23488095

But You Stood By My Side Night After Night (You Loved Me Back To Life) by Ciara2531 - Collection of Arrow Drabbles http://archiveofourown.org/works/1242571/chapters/2552791

A Day in the Life multi-chapter by @tdgal1 - Felicity Smoak is an MIT graduate and assistant to Oliver Queen. Suddenly she is his pretend girlfriend and in the spotlight. Oliver Queen needs a girlfriend to get rid of an obsessive former lover and to please his parents. Fluffy, funny, happiness! http://archiveofourown.org/works/9229205/chapters/20931281

In My Daughter's Eyes multi-chapter by @smkkbert - Oliver and Felicity are parents following a teenage pregnancy, they balance family life with school and I love it! http://archiveofourown.org/works/9606251/chapters/22299287 Peppers (mini drabble) by @felicityollies - Sweet family time http://felicityollies.tumblr.com/post/159420310347/peppers-mini-drabble Felicity Smoak - Model, International Star and Murderer? multi-chapter by @tdgal1 - Oliver is called defended international Star Felicity Smoak when she is charged with murder - I can't express how excited I am about this! https://tdgal1.tumblr.com/post/159430395245/felicity-smoak-model-international-star-and Purge Night multi-chapter by @spaztronautwriter - Felicity is caught in the Glades during the annual Purge. She's rescued by a man who claims he can keep her safe, but when things start to go wrong—and boy do they ever—she might find herself back on the streets, even worse off then before. An Olicity AU based on the movie The Purge (I didn't see the movie and am still enjoying the story) http://archiveofourown.org/works/8451076/chapters/19361185 A Quick Stop at Bed, Bath and Beyond by @geneshaven - Olicity shop for a wedding present - https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/159436590504/a-quick-stop-at-bed-bath-and-beyond As Easy As Falling multi-chapter by @charlinert - Felicity has just received tragic news when she meets Oliver, I believe there is hope, highly recommend but you will cry but not every chapter! http://archiveofourown.org/works/8035363/chapters/22542341 Sooner or Later by @olicityandsteroline - Oliver, the stereotypical scrawny nerd, and Felicity, the beautiful and popular genius, have been the closest that best friends could possibly be, practically each other’s other halves. Until Felicity leaves for an incredible education opportunity in Europe. Coming home to Starling City years later, Felicity sees that her once geeky best friend has changed, drastically. Can the two of them be as close as they were before she left? Or have the two of them changed too much? So So WONDERFUL http://olicityandsteroline.tumblr.com/post/136504774651/sooner-or-later Return to Me multi-chapter by @diggo26 - What would you do if you woke up tomorrow with the last 5 years of your memories gone? After an unfortunate accident, Oliver Queen must figure out his place in a life he has no memory of whilst his wife, Felicity, does everything she can to support him. With emotions, secrets and relationships pushed to the limits; will love and friendship be enough to turn back the hands of time? http://archiveofourown.org/works/10536999/chapters/23265480 Impact multi-chapter by @geneshaven - What would happen to Olicity if something happened to William - dark and wonderful https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/159472865114/impact Ch 2 https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/159509239684/impact-chapter-2 The Good Drugs by @sarcasticfina - Oliver has some medication http://sarcasticfina.tumblr.com/post/159472605047 Red Square multi-chapter by @quiveringbunny Amanda Waller sent Oliver Queen to Russia to infiltrate the Bratva. But has she forgotten him there? EXCELLENT new story you need in your life! http://archiveofourown.org/works/10607172/chapters/23453700 Untitled by @cruzrogue - snippet of a lovely wake up with Olicity - sneak peak of an upcoming story! http://cruzrogue.tumblr.com/post/159499227341/he-wakes-up-to-the-feeling-of-her-fingers-rubbing Starling City's Own Pollen Vector multi-chapter by @fiacresgirl -When a new criminal begins targeting Starling City's young women with a weaponized aphrodisiac, Original Team Arrow steps out into the field to catch him. Things go awry. Very sexy times! http://archiveofourown.org/works/5963350/chapters/13704946 Prompt Whewwwwww! by @imusuallyobsessed - Arrow Girls night! https://imusuallyobsessed.tumblr.com/post/159533571030/prompt-whewwwww#notes Love on the Brain by @lostolicityscenes - 5x20 spec https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/159539070891/love-on-the-brain-an-my-stab-at-a-little-arrow#notes Hotline by @geneshaven - Hoping it's multi-chapter Team Arrow deal with a caller to a suicide hotline https://geneshaven.tumblr.com/post/159547037759/hotline Coming Home by @dmichellewrites - Sentence Prompt: I thought I put it over here... http://archiveofourown.org/works/10619802

I Don’t Dance by @lovejesusarrowavengersblog - The reason Oliver Queen dances. So Sweet! http://lovejesusarrowavengersblog.tumblr.com/post/159550610848/i-dont-dance-story-repost

// @almondblossomme // @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo // @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1 // @quiveringbunny // @quant-um-fizzx // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 //

#fabulous olicity fanfic friday #olicity fanfiction #fic rec

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sevenmothz · 5 years

Text

my kh3 experience

howdy guys, been a long ass time since i’ve written any of my own posts on this here blog. part of it is because i just haven’t gamed a lot in the last few months, and part of it is i also haven’t used tumblr in a long time too. xD

anyway, i played through the story of kh3 the week it released and while i was doing all that gaming, i pretty much liveblogged on mine and my friend’s discord with all my immediate thoughts/feelings of the game (whether she as awake to lol @ my nonsense or not xD).

so, of course, i went through and typed up most of that shit and am copypasting it here for random strangers’ enjoyment!

naturally, there will be spoilers, so don’t look if you care about that shit.

AAAAHHH HIT ME WITH THE FEELS WITH JUST THE MUSIC Y’ALL the title PAIGE PAIGE PAGE FUCK

oh my ggooooodddd the new dearly beloved fuuuuuuck

ooh this place is pretty

oh boy there’s water oh man i bet this white place is gonna be a pain in my ass to get through fucking hollow bastion all over again

sora you’re so beautiful 😭

oh jesus do i really gotta do this stupid tutorial shit again at least now we are finally rid of that awful KH1 Sora model

hey it’s the tsunami from the frist game!

am i playing a diddly dang prequel of 3? are those FUCKIN’ LOADING SCREEN PAGES FUCKING INSTAGRAMS also lol sora got nerfed

aahhhh learning curves i hate have to get used to how this game handles

uh oh sora is worried about what xigbar said to him

eat shit, titan

also i’d like to say sora runs ridiculously fast now

sora’s such a brat “awww what about new clothes for meeeee??”

i can’t computer

SEA SALT ICE CREAM freaking lea looks amazing DONT CRY LEA HE WANNA GO BY AXEL NOW???

stop being a bitch, buzz buzz killyear

oh yeah so when playing olympus hades was all “IVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR 18 YEARS” it’s been 17 years since KH1 came out 18 since it was in development god kingdom hearts is a junior in high school

gdi rex stay put oh no buzz oh noes i’m in a video game lmao

omg a cactaur

yeah you go woody

oh how i miss timed events/reaction commands. makes dealing with these fuckers you gotta climb on top of a lot easier to deal with

square why don’t you have the gotdamn kh3 soundtrack on itunes i need to be able to listen to this title screen music ALL THE TIME

sully just fuckin’ chuck vanitas through a door like “NOT TODAY BITCH”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” — Sora

DON’T BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR CONNECTION TO POOH BEING WEAKER ; A ;

of course they’re gonna do let it go.. they really did the whole thing

climb all the way up the mountain and larxene blows us off of it rude

wow are they really gonna do all the songs or wut

keep forgetting i can switch keyblades

annnnd back down the goddamn mountains lmao sora is so done

srsly we’re going up again

damn this boss fight is epic makes the slog through the world worth it unlike the fuckin’ toy box boss hated that fucker oh no marshmallow

fuck off larxene let people be happy

lmao stfu ventus keep volunteering sora to resque aqua

demyx :<

oh hello piercings dude

these pirate nerds little pirate sora is so cute

yeesh that elizabeth voice is terrible

guh it’s always a slog getting through the disney story stuff cuz it’s just worse rehashings of the movies at least fransokyo will be new content never seen big hero 6 xD

o mai assassin’s creed lite

jack you dumb bitch

oh man davy jones voice is bad too

jesus that second luxurd battle fucking terrible

god i never through elizabeth’s speech could sound so terrible how can you let someone butcher one of the most iconic moments from the third movie so bad?

oh thank god the kraken is easy to beat

lmao luxurd taken out by jack’s breath

eat shive, dave

lmao vexen “gdi it’s a real heart organ” “WE NEED A METAPHORICAL HEART YOU ASSHOLES”

damn sora throwing hands i was wondering how sora woudl react to one of his disney pals dying wasn’t expecting bodily assault

oma lea axel* whatever i wanna see his new dudes

ansem gonna talk to ansem oh god kids do’t get killed oh boy what happening now nobodies fightin’ ansem the bad WHO DUN IT GDI oh it was vexen DOUBLE AGENT??? or is he. filTHY LIAR they’re not gonna tell me pricks

“omg a robot :D”

keyblade hero 3 omg sora why

omai visor oh wow chill music

baaah sora showin’ off

holy shit i found me a new fav strength weapon the keyblade from caribbean love it even more than the toybox one xD the fuckin’ formchanges are amaze

THAT AIN’T SEA SALT ICE CREAM <gasp> roxas rude

replica riku~

damn microbot was a pain in the ass

AQUAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭

WOT WHAT NOMURAING THIS SHIT ALL UP is this groundhog day i s2g

is that gotdamn terra

yen sid can actually do shit

damn this a long endgame

ITS SORA AND RHE SORAS

ah there we go. good ol’ Plot Device Kairi and there i thought she’d be useful lmao man tho i seriously rolled my eyes when xehanort struck an unconscious kairi down i was just like “yeah that seem about right..” storywise, sora has such a stronger connection to riku barely talks to kairi lea talked to kairi more in one game than sora ever did in 9+ i’d ship kairi and lea if there wasn’t such an obvious age gap lmao and WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHICK THAT DIAPPEARED ON LEA AND ISA? like is that answered in this game or was it answered in a previous game?

anyway

Roxas is a REAL BOY now

gotdamn those dudes were tough

fuck man barely gives me time to block stupid goat head lemme guess tho that isn’t the end of course not because kingdom hearts can’t just let us defeat him c’mon man let me reload my potions at least man fuck off with this boss shit motherfucker did you really just force me into rage form “I AM MORE POWERFUL EVEN THO YOU KILLED ME LIKE 2 TIMES”

omg donald and goofy’s voices from the controller speaker

just fucking die already

this bitch really thinking he was the good guy the whole time

jesus the x-blade is bigger than sora

mickey and donald finally get to be hoooome

axel and xion in their new clothes~ EVEN ISA

wut WUT SORA BOY DID YOU REALLY SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR THIS BITCH

maleficent is gonna find that fucking box isn’t she and we’re not gonna see what is in it i’m guessing its the box the Master of Masters gave to his apprentice cuz that’s the only notable box in the series i can think of

but yeah this game this game was supposed to bring an end to the Xehanort saga so they fully intent to make moar games so we’ll get a new annoying big bad and more weird dumb lore

ok we’re getting into the dumb credits like PR manager and shit so i think they’re coming close to the end ihope never know until you start seeing the gotdamn logos

logos!

that fuckin’ xigbar THE OLD MASTERS fuck it is i knew it I KNEW HE HAD SOMETHING GOING ON i was betting he was master of masters but no it’s luxu

fak FUQ fuck off with your games eraqus

HELLO SORA and Riku THEY”RE IN INSOMNIA no wait verum rex GAH

ok the verum rex stuff was the secret movie I JUST HAVE MORE QUESTIONS AND VERY LITTLE ANSWERS DISAPPOINTED

what if Demyx is Master of Masters

Final Thoughts: me: there were pretty much no FF cameos so 0/10 AzuraSpyte: lol I give it a 5/10 for Axel alone me: lolol minus 1 for making him wear the organization coat the entire game

#kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #kingdom hearts #singull plays kh3 #singull plays kingdom hearts

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