#gertspeak

[thesorrowoflizards]

oh to be a taskmaster contestant and have greg daives physically pull you aside, still onstage,

#visibly a head taller and arm FIRMLY around your shoulder. #this is sounding hornier than i meant it to but honestly? i'll roll with it. #greg daives #taskmaster #taskmaster uk #gertspeak

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

AO3 Tag Game!

Tagged by @mvshortcut :) I'm gonna stick with just this fandom/this account for this one to make it less confusing

How many works do you have on AO3?

44. (Including snippet collections.) For this fandom/account. Far more if you count bi-demon-ium or my old account or my older account or

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Okay this one it won't let me separate by pseud or fandom so you're just gonna have to live with being lumped in with all my MBS and a few other misc fics at "653,461". Didn't get the other accounts though. Man, I'm a mess

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Okay, well, this one by nature is also not solely for this fandom,

(number in parentheses is number of ao3 works posted)

Ted Lasso (obviously) (44) (including snippet collections)

The Mysterious Benedict Society (116) (also including snippet collections)

Instinct (2) (one is a small snippet collection--)

House MD (1)

Death by Dying (1)

Gravity Falls, technically, but it was one crossover (1)

ditto with The Legend of Zelda (1)

King Falls AM (1)

The House in the Cerulean Sea (6)

Shadowhunters (??? at least 36) (some now hidden/lost)

Professor Layton (1)

The Librarians (2)

The Sandman (1)

The Mentalist (2)

Star Trek (AOS) (1)

Sanders Sides (at least 1)

Miraculous Ladybug (1)

Rosewell: New Mexico (2)

The Dresden Files (1)

That's stuff posted to ao3/finished. There's also, technically,

for stuff I published when I was twelve and I now refuse to acknowledge (not all bc of the fandom but bc the fic was Bad):

Doctor Who

Supernatural

Sherlock

Psych

Castle

Welcome to Night Vale

Avengers

A Series of Unfortunate Events

And then stuff I've written for but never finished:

Warehouse 13

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)

Dirk Gently (2010)

SurrealEstate

Zoo (podcast)

Once Upon a Time

Scooby Doo

Person of Interest

The Goes Wrong Show

Spy Kids (???)

Ace Attorney

The Adventure Zone

Criminal Minds

Star Trek (TOS, TNG, and DS9)

Haven

MacGyver

Trollhunters

exactly one (1) joke The Magnus Archives fic

Percy Jackson and the Olympians + The Kane Chronicles + Tales of Apollo

Leverage

Pushing Daisies

The Sarah Jane Adventures

Megamind

Bones

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Lucifer

Some of these are deeply questionable and/or only have like two (2) wips or even posted works at most, but I'm thorough. Also, I will write about almost anything bc my brain loves to process things like this. I may have even missed something

Top five fics by kudos:

Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth (1125)

semaphore (977)

off the handle (719)

linger (699) (nice)

a preacher, a bikini, and a kiss or two (641)

Do you respond to comments?

I really try to, but then I get all in my head about it and/or am really really tired and put it off so long it then feels like it would be weird to respond because it's been forever. However, if there's a direct question or something I want to address/respond to, as in, I have something particularly unique to say or a question to answer, then I'll usually respond really fast

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

Honestly, I'm not a huge unhappy ending person, a lot of the time I'll have a first chapter I was initially going to end really angsty (see ink sunset and make a mess of you) and then added more to fix it at least somewhat. As is... maybe the somewhat unresolved emotional tension (for Ted and Trent, at least, Roy's doing great) in something to get off my chest, the +1 for betrayal's sting / absolution's balm? I have some worse ones in an old fandom on an old account but. meh.

Do you write crossovers?

Not often, but I rotate them in my brain. Honestly, though, I'm more inclined to write a fusion than a crossover proper. And even so, I tend to just be thinking about it rather than actually writing it. I've only written one crossover in recent memory (recently, that is) and it was mostly a joke about a shared actress made into actual angst.

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Yeah lmao

Do you write smut?

😏 sure do

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

👁️👁️ not in this fandom

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!! also not in this fandom

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In this fandom? Trent/Ted. overall? no idea, because recency bias, my all-time favorite is whatever I'm into right now, which isn't really objective but hyperfixationitis.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

:( so many. AND there are a lot of posted fics I want to write a sequel/companion piece for and idk if I'll ever get the energy...

I guess off the top of my head, for this fandom, I'd go with lost sight of (who you are) (motivation died because it's old enough no one knows it exists anymore lkfgjh) and ink sunset (I WANNA FINISH IT I DO I DO I DO)

What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write a really funny string of dialogue, and I'm also fond of fun metaphors, both in the elegant poetic way and in the more Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett way (which is to say, still potentially elegant but also comedic as hell)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Motivating myself to write anything; being overly self-indulgent

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'm extremely bad at linguistics in general, so if I must include someone talking in another language in my fic, I think I'd tend to cheat and do italics or some other indication that this is 'in another language' (ie "Where are you going?" she asked in Russian), but that's admittedly a lazy approach. But I also think it's probably better than butchering it with an auto-translator? Also, when people just include the translation in the end notes, even with a link (although that makes it marginally better) it breaks the flow of the story and makes it hard to read. Making an effort to at least match grammar is good (which I would do if it was for longer than a single scene, probably) but I think the best solution is when people know what they're doing and like, have an actual translation with a little html code so you can click on it and it reveals what it means? Or if you're clever, revealing what it means using context around it, but that has its own limitations. So that both like, uses the actual language and doesn't break up the flow. It balances accessibility, flow, and respect for the other language in question well. But you've got to both know what you're doing with the language (either asking someone/hiring someone/knowing the language yourself) and the html (although there are guides for that you'd have to spend time figuring it out + know it exists in the first place to look). And this is fanfiction, something we ultimately do for free in our spare time, so the lazy approach, I think, can be understandable. Maybe not in every context, but it's not worth stressing a lot over in a few random lines or anything, you know? It is really cool when people do know a language well enough to include it properly in a fic, though, it can say a lot about a character or dynamic; and their background(s) and like. it's neat :)

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Ever? Doctor Who. In a shitty little notebook in middle school. Then there was some Star Trek (both TNG and TOS) and Avatar: the Last Airbender and Marvel and such, and then Supernatural (my first smut? extremely terrible Destiel smut. rip) and I think the first thing I ever posted was Welcome to Night Vale? Not sure.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Oh, man. I have no idea. Here's a few favorites from this fandom:

matters of the heart

trick & treat

vita nova

melt like this

"second impressions"

"reveal"

probably those time travel snippets, just in general

tagging:

PLEASE, if you want to do this, I'm begging you, tag me in it and do it. i'm too tired to come up with names im so sorry

#long post #tag game #:) #gertspeak

[androgymagnus]

#i hath given and received thrice the breeds of boop #i hath maxed out thy boop-o-meter #all is well in boopland #gertspeak

[bi-demon-ium]

i am once again deeply annoyed by the phrase "more than friends". all my homies hate the phrase "more than friends" the world has moved past the need for "more than friends"

#'theres no platonic explanation for this! they HAVE to be more than friends!' oh? #have you considered i am pushing you into one of those air tubes in the bank except it leads straight to hell? #like. the fuckin. aphobia and amatonormativity of it all. aough #the one exception (JOKING) is that bastille song literally just bc the chorus of that song sounds cool #('dont you wanna be--moooooore than Frieeeends / HoldMeTightAndDon'tLet Gooooo (dont let gooo) etc) #.......thats still a joke though bc again. this phrase is atrocious. #im bonking you with a brick. #if i see one more post i stg #gertspeak

[thesorrowoflizards]

i have this thought of leverage/leverage redemption existing in the same universe as warehouse 13/alphas/eureka because like. one of my favorite fun facts about warehouse 13 is that like. it really obviously crosses over with eureka (they had a whole Event) but it also has a crossover with a show that is nowhere near as well-known, alphas, and like. there's a character in warehouse 13 that just inexplicably can tell when people are lying. it's established that this is a real trick that works, and is basically magic; they give no explanation for it, and you don't really need one. however there is an explanation for it if you know where to look, which is that in alphas, some people (called, who'd've guessed it, "alphas") inexplicably have weird little abilities, and steve is likely an alpha and just does not know it. (unfortunate naming conventions for a post on tumblr aside.) and in alphas, a character from warehouse 13, with the same name and actress, shows up (presumably due to the Weird Events) and this implies they're in the same universe (meaning it's also in the same universe as eureka.) now in warehouse 13, we didn't really need an explanation for steve knowing when people are lying. like, it's a little weird since no one else seems to have any obvious or overt ~magical~ abilities without a clear origin, but also, warehouse 13 is in the fantastical genre, they already have weird magic shit happening, so you're just kind of like, yeah, sure, that can happen. the alphas thing is really more a fun bonus if you happened to watch this cancelled-after-one-season show. however. and now we get to my point. that guy in "the mastermind job" who can put people to sleep by talking. i just think it would be really funny if the explanation for this was that he was an "alpha" and some people just have weird magical abilities. (actually i haven't seen alphas in ages but i'm pretty sure there was a technomancer type dude which. hm. thinking. rotating.) anyway this obviously doesn't scan the same way steve did since leverage redemption is supposed to be in a more grounded setting (it stretches reality, certainly, but magic isn't really supposed to be a thing as far as we're aware) but i just think it would be funny if that was the explanation.

this also opens up a new world of generally leverage crossing over with warehouse 13 and eureka. so much potential there. warehouse 13 is literally about valuable historical items with MAGIC NONSENSE happening, so one or many of them have GOT to have encountered them before (god nate and sophie would be a terrifying warehouse duo. all of them would be great at that actually. actually now i'm straight up thinking about a full-on warehouse 13 au and my brain is fucking. spinning.) and EUREKA????? a town of WILD GENIUSES who do WILD SCIENCE????? at least hardison and/or eliot (and sophie potentially?) have gotten involved in that shit before right? like. hardison is in geek heaven, eliot knows all sorts of weird government secrets, etc. can you imagine. i have so many fucking thoughts

#leverage redemption #leverage #warehouse 13 #eureka #gertspeak

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @rngaredead :)

For simplicity's sake I'm going to go with just my biDEMONium/trentcrimminallybeautiful ao3 and not try to combine it with my thesorrowoflizards one (why do i have more than one? because i was, among other things, an idiot who didn't know how pseuds worked next question) even though that would probably double some of these numbers lkfjgh

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Again, just on this account? 171 (some of those are oneshot compilations though)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

661,851 for now

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ted Lasso, The Mysterious Benedict Society, The House on the Cerulean Sea, House MD, Death by Dying, Instinct, King Falls AM. Also, sort of Gravity Falls. Mostly those first two though, tbh. This one I think I will include other fandoms I've written and posted for on other accounts because it's fun and less about math. So also Shadowhunters, The Librarians, The Mentalist, The Dresden Files (TV), Roswell New Mexico, The Sandman, Star Trek, Professor Layton, Sanders Sides, Miraculous Ladybug, and sort of The Legend of Zelda. Also see, for unposted or posted a very long time ago and no longer something I would willingly share, Supernatural, Dirk Gently (both 2016 and 2010), Doctor Who, Warehouse 13, SurrealEstate, Person of Interest, Haven, Leverage, Bones. Psych, and probably more

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth (Trent/Ted - 1,157 kudos)

semaphore (Trent/Ted; Trent & Colin - 997 kudos)

off the handle (Trent/Ted - 736 kudos)

linger (Trent/Ted - 709 kudos)

a preacher, a bikini, and a kiss or two (Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs - 673 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to but I always get really busy/tired and then it's been so long it feels like it would be weird if I did. Plus, sometimes my answers by nature of the comments can get repetitive and then even though I'm being sincere I feel insincere which sucks. However, if a comment has a direct question or something I actually have like, something unique to say about, I'm much more likely to respond sooner rather than later/never. I appreciate every single comment soooo much though literally my motivation to get through the day like 80 percent of the time

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to stick with Ted Lasso fics here since I have so many fics posted and this is my Ted Lasso sideblog and say... well, most of the time I have a bittersweet ending and then some sort of hopeful epilogue (such as with ink sunset and make a mess of you) but I guess betrayal's sting / absolution's balm or something to get off my chest may qualify?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh, honestly, most of them are happy endings. I think trick & treat and matters of the heart end on particularly high notes?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in this fandom! Yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, yeah, baby. So much. Not sure what "kind" means in this context. It sure is explicit smut. I have tended almost exclusively towards hot transgender sex the last few years because. yknow. hi. but somehow I don't think that's the intention in the question.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do, but I haven't posted a lot. Only one on this account (a Gravity Falls x The Mysterious Benedict Society crossover that started as a joke because of a shared actress) although I had an interesting Shadowhunters x The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess fusion on my other account. I've written some pretty weird WIPs, though. And I've got some posts about Ted Lasso crossover/AUs, like a Sarah Jane Adventures AU, a Pushing Daisies AU, a Stardust AU... You can find that kind of thing in this tag on my blog.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. Not in this fandom, though, as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Again, not in this fandom, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh, man, I don't know if I can decide. Magnus/Alec (TV version only I'll die on this hill) will always hold a special place in my heart, but I've got other "obsessed with this when I was a kid" ships and also recency bias/current hyperfixation means Trent/Ted screams as an immediate answer, and so on and so forth. I'm bad at picking favorites. Overall, I'd probably say one of those two, or both.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sticking to Ted Lasso again (I have. so many MBS WIPs. god.) I'd say lost sight of (who you are) (lost motivation, want to finish, fuck!!) or sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell) (got mad at it), or!! oh!!! ink sunset (stuck) and possibly the next installment of matters of the heart. Yeah, I have a problem

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at being funny and also at eloquent but perhaps a little too verbose metaphors. I love me an elaborate metaphor

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It's hard for me to focus and get what I have in my head out sometimes, even when I really want to. Whether it's being unable to organize or just my brain flat-out refusing to cooperate and do anything. Also, I'm way too like. easily discouraged with lack of feedback, and even a little negative feedback can kind of ruin my week and make me never wanna go back to that story ever again.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I just realized. The questions seemed familiar but I wasn't sure why and now I know, now that I've gotten to this question. I have done this game before and I remember bc of this question. I was confused bc it was under a different name, I think the questions were in a different order, and it was sometimes slightly differently worded but nope! This is the same one! Weird Anyway, just for this particular question, I'm going to copy-paste my old answer because I'm lazy. I’m extremely bad at linguistics in general, so if I must include someone talking in another language in my fic, I think I’d tend to cheat and do italics or some other indication that this is ‘in another language’ (ie “Where are you going?” she asked in Russian), but that’s admittedly a lazy approach. But I also think it’s probably better than butchering it with an auto-translator? Also, when people just include the translation in the end notes, even with a link (although that makes it marginally better) it breaks the flow of the story and makes it hard to read. Making an effort to at least match grammar is good (which I would do if it was for longer than a single scene, probably) but I think the best solution is when people know what they’re doing and like, have an actual translation with a little html code so you can click on it and it reveals what it means? Or if you’re clever, revealing what it means using context around it, but that has its own limitations. So that both like, uses the actual language and doesn’t break up the flow. It balances accessibility, flow, and respect for the other language in question well. But you’ve got to both know what you’re doing with the language (either asking someone/hiring someone/knowing the language yourself) and the html (although there are guides for that you’d have to spend time figuring it out + know it exists in the first place to look). And this is fanfiction, something we ultimately do for free in our spare time, so the lazy approach, I think, can be understandable. Maybe not in every context, but it’s not worth stressing a lot over in a few random lines or anything, you know? It is really cool when people do know a language well enough to include it properly in a fic, though, it can say a lot about a character or dynamic; and their background(s) and like. it’s neat :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ever? Doctor Who. And I don't remember the order, but after that I know I wrote some stuff about Star Trek (mostly TNG but I believe also TOS), Supernatural, A:LTA, Marvel, WTNV, and the Stanley Parable? I think I first posted either Supernatural or WTNV

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I have no idea. Some of my top ones (for Ted Lasso again) would be matters of the heart and trick & treat I suppose?

Tagging: whoever wants to do this man, I probably tagged everyone I'd normally tag last time so if you see this and you wanna do it, go ahead and tag me and do it!

#tag games #tag game #gertspeak

[thesorrowoflizards]

listen the mastermind job has flaws but i kind of. love it?

#yes his ability to make people magically fall asleep--alphas theory aside--was ridiculous #but my god. there's both some really funny moments #and genuinely good emotional beats #the whole thing about sophie not being in the book #and honestly i just really like the character of the fake mastermind guy hes so funny. scrungly. #and the whole insight into nate being the only one to appreciate the accountants at IYS #and this guy being like 'he was so supportive! and kind!' and they'r elike #'NATE? NATE FORD? WHO TALKS TO YOU LIKE YOURE DUMB?' #'always there with a nice pep talk....' #'HIS PEP TALKS LITERALLY MAKE PEOPLE CRY YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!!!' #and how he's genuinely so earnestly like 'no let that guy go! threaten me all you like but don't hurt him!' #and everything about harry being kidnapped #getting the goons to fucking unionize basically lkgjfgkhjgh #and nate being so proud of them.... #there's so much going on that is excellent #i get why it gets back flack for really being a highlight of a persistent problem in l:redemption (ie the sillier tone #/stretchier reality/more librarians-esque shenanigans versus more grounded og leverage) but like. i genuinely really like this episode lfkg #i love this silly little character i love the crews interactions etc #im only halfway through my rewatch so i may have forgotten something #gertspeak #leverage redemption #leverage #'i make lists. groceries mostly.' - harry the funniest lawyer alive

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

fic in review 2023 :)

this old tag game used to go around every year but no one's tagged me the past few years so i just. Tag My Self . because it is FUN ! it's the Shamelessly Promote Your Work game and it's fun looking at all the stats and reviewing your year in writing. it's the most indulgent tag game ever come join me

tagging: WHOEVER WANTS TO DO IT! YAY! TAG ME! 🎉but also specifically (no pressure! i will not be offended if you ignore, this is A Lot): @mvshortcut @fade-in-the-dark @altschmerzes @writer-and-thrasher @kar-krashew :)

i'm applying this to "trentcrimminallybeautiful" specifically, not the other fics on my ao3. ...mostly.

Total Number of Completed Stories:

total posted, complete or not: 40 works on ao3, but of those 40, four are collective works, so if we count each chapter/snippet as its own "completed stories", that's... 74, wow.

however, as for "complete"... not counting those snippet collections, 33. if i count the snippets i consider somewhat "complete"... probably around 57? some of them are hard to determine if they feel "complete" or not, hence why they're in snippets collection jail in the first place.

Total Word Count: according to ao3′s word count, 277,118, which is counting my works for other fandoms but is not counting the squillion wips i have unposted on ao3.

Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, mostly. But also The Mysterious Benedict Society. Also a Professor Layton fic.

Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: More! Trent really grabbed my brain. Spinning him.

What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:

UhhhHHHH. I'm bad at choices so here's several:

"trick & treat" and "off the record" for some overly self indulgent smut. and also the deeply embarrassing venom au oneshot

"being right" and this fic about trent being sick

superhero au oneshot, "second impressions", and a fmk oneshot for sillies, "high noon over richmond" or this time travel snippet...

Did you take any writing risks this year?: Hmm well I'd call That Goddamn Venom AU a Fucking Risk, as well as the My God What's This? Catboy Smut Oneshot With The Steel Chair

but honestly there were several fics i was unsure about, which got a variety of responses i think, although none atrociously bad

Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: So many WIPs I want to like. actually write.

Best story of the year: Well, that's not favorite (my favorite) or most popular (everyone else's favorite) so is that supposed to mean objectively the best? Because I still am bad at judging this. At a guess, the aforementioned superhero au, one of those indulgent smut fics, or possibly this deeply stupid crack fic about rupert mannion sucking in bed. Or "ink sunset". NO WAIT. IT'S MATTERS OF THE HEART of course it is

Most popular story of the year: hm. WELL. im only doing ones on this account bc i can’t be bothered to pull up the other ones tbh but

By kudos: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 1004

By subscriptions: "sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell)" with 70

By comment threads: if we're counting snippet collections, first goes to the first snippet collection with 130 and then the second one with 124. if we're not, then it's "Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)" with 78. (although "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" is at 77--close!)

By bookmarks: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 294

By hits: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 5324

So overall, probably "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth"/ By far. Wow.

Most personal story of the year: Probably I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT or lost sight of (who you are). Wait, no. matters of the heart.

Funniest story of the year: Oh I have so many fucking crack fics. Perhaps one of my many stupid time travel aus, or painting the town richmond blue, or Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)? Or that aforementioned stupid fmk oneshot.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Hmmm, lost sight of (who you are), wayward thoughts, and being right.

Most fun story to write: I think i have the most fun with crack and smut--not that I don't love angst, because I do, but crack is just bouncing whatever I think will be funniest and flying by the seat of my pants, and if I manage to write and post smut, it is always extremely indulgent. Can't think of any in these particular genres I haven't already mentioned.

Story with the sexiest moment: Definitely "trick & treat" or "off the record".

Sweetest story of the year: Perhaps "helpless in a game of kisses" or this meet-cute? I also quite enjoyed the ending of "the dregs at the bottom of the glass".

“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous, and say maybe the first chapter of "make a mess of you"?

Hardest story to write: matters of the heart and its sequel has been fucking me up. Also see lost sight of (who you are).

Biggest disappointment: Some fics I really like didn't do so well, but then, a lot of them did, so I try not to dwell on it

Biggest surprise: Was really nervous about a few oneshots I really liked and worked hard on (particularly "matters of the heart" and some of that stupidly indulgent smut) but they got a pretty good reception! Also see: just how bad Trent Crimm has invaded my brain <3

#tag game #gertspeak

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

Thanks so much for tagging me! 💕

Would you like to talk about your Isadora and Phoebe au? What makes it an au as opposed to canonverse?

the basic gist of it is i'm a huge slut for any form of identity shenanigans, even just misunderstandings like "oh, i've been hearing about [x] and it turns out they've also been [y] the whole time" so this entire au is basically just. crimmlet (isadora) is older (hence it being an au) and ends up making friends with phoebe. roy keeps hearing about Isadora's Dad and being like huh he seems like a dork and a good dad and then meets him and it's Trent Fucking Crimm and neither of them were prepared for this interaction. it's like pre-canon/s1. there's a few different iterations/possibilities right now (also see: the flip side of this, trent has been hearing about Phoebe's Uncle and is also wildly unaware that it is Roy Goddamn Kent) but that's the gist of it. roy's niece and trent's daughter being pretty good friends and both of them still being at peak hostile and being forced to acknowledge the other is a good parental figure and possibly even a whole fleshed out person,

a snippet of one of the possibilities (not set in stone lol):

Roy gingerly makes his way through the flat—cluttered and homey, full of books and toys, about what he expected—to the kitchen, where he can hear clattering, and faint music drifting from the doorway. Dora told him that her dad was cooking and that Phoebe wanted to wait so she could have some, too, but dad said that it was up to Roy. But he was making enough just in case, because he was a softie, Dora told him, almost slyly. And then Roy entered the kitchen and there, bustling around the counter, usually artful and streaked with silver hair pulled back in a messy bun, in a terrible apron that had probably been a gift, was Trent fucking Crimm, the Independent, in the midst of cooking something. Dora, love, he’s saying, bobbing to the music, is Phoebe’s uncle outside? Fuuuuuuuuuck, says Roy out loud.

god it's so funny that in this particular version the lead up is so "build up in a rom com" like yeah you're about to meet a dorky cute and gay single dad who gets along with your niece and is really swe--oh what the FUCK trent crimm?????!?!?!?!

#i have something similar that involves trent's ex wife being one of roy's yoga moms and neither of them realize until later flgkhjfh #gertspeak #wip #askbox

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

"tavern/grendel/hercules" sounds absolutely fascinating and I think I will have to read it even though I don't go here

May I ask why both "grendel" and "hercules", since they're from different mythologies?

Olim sudor Herculis (Latin) - Carmina Burana // Beowulf trans. Seamus Heaney (Old English)

okay, so. this isn't really fully based on either of these things. so much as i am rotating them in my brain as i'm writing something. "olim sudor herculis" is a latin drinking song of sorts from Ye Olde Times (this is the version i listen to lol. unironically i love this song. i originally heard it in a class about medieval history and stuff, but like. i literally listen to it for fun. it's part of what inspired this fic, because i was listening to it for fun. ...i probably have weird taste) and the lyrics when translated are about like, love ruins glory, a lover can't be a hero because they're unable to resist their heart and/or sexual desires, and that even the strongest men like hercules can be made fools by it--the only way to win against love is to not have it, and run away from it. which is. lmao. anyway, there's a little more to it than that, but that's the basic kinda run down. and it's really less that the fic is based on that (although i'm thinking about this as a flawed, old perspective--that the only way to not lose to love is to run from it, and then spinning what the song presents as negative--A lover has no regret for wasted time, / But stupidly and pointlessly toils at Venus' comand--as like. the time isn't wasted, the work is worth it, do not run from it--idk that's all just vibes rn) so much as the whole thing has that Medieval Vibe and all which helps lend to the atmosphere for the fic and get me in The Mood as i'm writing hence i listen to it on loop while writing it. so there's the "hercules" part.

grendel is also more metaphorical/below the surface as i'm writing than literal, because the fic is going to deal with loneliness and like. a pretty obvious (not the only, but not a reach either) interpretation of why grendel attacks in the first place is loneliness, feeling like an outsider, being an outsider--obviously, it's not so simple as that, as grendel is a literal monster, but the question of monsterhood and what makes a monster, how we relate to monsters for their loneliness and their bodies and their alienation and their rage and boundless emotion and "disgusting" nature, etc, really comes into play. but like it literally says that like, what harrows grendel is the "hall-joys", the joy and celebration and laughter, the community he is irreparably separate from?? you know?? and that can be interpreted a lot of ways--the extreme version of your neighbor who keeps having loud parties at 3 am and the dorm walls are so thin and you're about ready to rip their arms off? sure. the deep and piercing loneliness of hearing other people laugh and have fun and love each other and be a community knowing that not only are you explicitly not welcome but that you will probably never find that ever? (grendel's mother loved him, was willing to rend people limb from limb for him, but did she like him? did they spend time together? did she kill for him out of the love of a mother, one might call obligatory or biological? did she kill for him out of honor, the bloody cycle the whole fucking epic is about? did they love each other? how alone were they? does it matter, when in the end, they both die alone?) yeah also valid! or the more textual interpretation that grendel's just eeeevil and mean and hates all things good and holy and light and wants to kill it just for the sake of killing it? etc. anyway the point is i have a lot of feelings about monsters and loneliness and beowulf is about cycles and monsters and cause and effect and blood and honor and heroes and the end.

ALL OF THIS however is mostly just vibes that im rotating while writing a much smaller fic which is really more about trent and friendship and loneliness, set in a fantasy tavern setting lol

#dont take my word at all this im not double checking any research at the moment just. talking out my ass from memory #but i have a lot of feelings about a lot of mythology and folklore #ANYWAY im a nerd. im a big nerd #askbox #gertspeak #also the olim sudor herculis english translation didnt have a translators name attached :( #anyway this all just rambling. right now this fic is 90 percent vibes #i do have a plot in mind but i dont want to describe it bc it's short enough in describing it that would probably basically be the fic lmao #honestly though i might just incorporate a bunch of these pretentious literary references anyway #just bc i want to #youre welcome to read it!!!

[androgymagnus]

booping myself silly for my horrible little boop laundering scheme

#gertspeak

[androgymagnus]

tagged by @peachygos to make a moodboard by searching my name+core on pinterest :)

i actually found. WAY more than i thought under "gertcore" lmao

i've never made a moodboard before so i hope this isn't shit. had a lot of fun though!

gertcore.

[ID: A grid of sixteen images with no borders separating each image. The first row contains the following: The first image is someone holding a clear crystal with thin mushrooms growing in it. The second is the shadow of a figure holding an axe from the chest to the ankles, on concrete. The third is a stained, partially torn tile wall with the word "gay" graffiti'd on with black spray paint. The fourth is the feet of a person in black converse and white socks, and a small, white kitten with black spots on her head curled up between the shoes.

The second row contains the following: The fifth image is a pile of pale animal bones on a dark green leafy background, with pale, dimly lit hands spread at the bottom of the frame. The sixth image is a stylized drawing of a skeleton from the side, crouched with red flowers coming out of his back. The seventh image is a person in a dark green shirt from the neck down standing in a field, holding white flowers. The eighth image shows a pale, skinny person with long dark hair at a piano, with a fake skeleton propped up as if leaning against the piano casually.

The third row contains the following: The ninth image is a dimly lit view of the legs of someone in jeans, walking among greenery and small white flowers. The tenth image is bright green leaves with someone's foot planted in the middle, in a red converse shoe. The eleventh image is a dark green forest with a dimly lit animal skeleton of some kind sitting up. The twelfth image is of a white person's hand in a sleeve that hides the heel of their hand, holding a dried out plant with small flowers.

The fourth row contains the following: The thirteen image is a tree-like amoeba of some sorts sprouting from a rock with white circular offshoots; the background is dark blue and underwater and the amoeba is lit by something off camera. The fourteenth image is four lines of identical, slightly blurred text, as if the camera is in motion and the text is on a screen, that reads "Where is my mind?" repeated four times. The fifteenth image is a dark, blue-tinted scene of a bridge over a lake, and a dark blurred figure flying in the sky by it. The sixteenth image is a distant shore from the side, with a swath of bent trees with orange leaves to the left, bending over the water to the right, which reflects the orange leaves. /end ID]

tagging: @mvshortcut @oflightningandstars @amysterywrappedinanenigma @sqenthusiast @ragecndybars @mysteriouseggsbenedict @sophieswundergarten @mollyhats @casismybestfriend @eryaforsthye @altschmerzes @trentcrimmtheeindependent @asingerofdreams @leeofthestone @be-gay-do-crimm @poisonousquinzel @tredcrimso @samstarium @thistableforone

i just wanted to tag a bunch of people bc i think this is fun, but i don't know which of you would like this sort of thing for sure, so if you don't want to do it, no pressure at all! but if you see this and i'm not on the list, go ahead and do it! tag me! i'd like to see it!

#moodboard #gertcore #lol #tag games #tag game #this was really fun ty for tagging me #i did not think there would be so many options damn #thats why i did 4x4 instead of 3x3 idk if thats allowed but i wanted to so . i did #gertspeak #really like how this turned out so woe! moodboard be upon ye! #to my sideblogs lol

[bi-demon-ium]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

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milligan being goofy and hilarious with a straight face call that silligan

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Created by TumblrTop10

#tumblrtop10 #gertspeak

[thesorrowoflizards]

"i hate tagging" can't fucking relate. i am kissing ao3 tags on the mouth at all times. i love to tag. i can't get enough of it. the tags on archiveofmyown.org are my sillytime fun place. my playground of tomfoolery. i love to list and sort and categorize and also go on small tangents with descriptive and unorthodox language. there's lists and categories!!!! jokes and sillies!!!!! what is not to love!!!!!!! kissing them on the mouth and if you dont like ao3 tagging im hitting you with a brick. titles on the other hand,

#gertspeak

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i've said it before and i'll say it again: trent and nate's dynamic has got to be the funniest shit ever. their arc--like of how they know each other--is just genuinely fucking insane and it is so goddamn funny to me. first nate is just seemingly a random kitman and trent is a well-known, well-respected, definitely-a-huge-cunt-but-he-knows-what-he's-talking-about journalist. trent learns ted is taking cues from a kitman; he's incredulous but intrigued and doesn't dismiss this as insane, although he obviously notes that it's Fucking Weird, it's lumped in with his general opinion on ted's coaching style, which seems to be "fucking weird and no one else would do it but damn if it isn't interesting and possibly what we need".

presumably they have little to no contact for most of the first two seasons--trent probably at least has some idea of his prowess as a strategist, nate becomes a coach, they might even actually meet for press reasons at some point, no idea. also as a slightly nonlinear side note, unsure what nate would be thinking of trent from pre-canon to s2, but i would say a) it's possible that he does genuinely like/respect trent's work, as they're both pretty passionate about the sport and know their shit, b) he at least almost certainly thinks of trent as ruthless, hence why he goes to him to tear ted apart and hurt him as much as he can--although alternatively, it's possible that he just has noticed ted seems to like trent in particular and wants to hurt him that way, but i don't think that's the case. so i'd guess pre-canon he'd be intimidated by him but if he managed to hold a conversation with him (which he doesn't in canon, most likely) they'd actually get along pretty well, i think, especially talking about strategy and sports history. because s1 trent wasn't actually like, a cruel person, even if he'd done some less-than-kind writing, so i doubt when faced with someone like s1 nate he'd have been like, metaphorically shoving him in a locker. i think he mostly turns his snark on gaffers and players, usually perceived as assholes and possibly not entirely incorrectly, and also probably annoying coworkers. not so much nervous kitmen.

ANYWAY, nate never does see a softer side of him--and presumably isn't noticing how he talks to ted in the press conferences lkfhjfgh or only looking at the surface stuff--hence why he goes to him post s2. ANYWAY sorry i've gone on a tangent, i'll have to sum shit up at the end--anyway, so s2 finale happens. nate goes to trent with a huge, horrible scoop, and trent has to write it, but it makes him quit his job. so like, they know and probably at least mildly respect each other from afar, and then the s2 finale happens and that's gotta be awkward (especially as i'm not sure nate ever finds out that trent burned his source to ted? which i think trent did primarily because a) he respects and cares about ted and didn't want him to be blindsided by someone he trusts betraying him, b) it's ted, and he trusts him: he knows ted isn't going to do anything to nate or hurt him about this. debatable whether it was the right thing to do or not, but regardless, unsure how nate would react if he knew--it would really depend on when he finds out.) but anyway trent probably doesn't feel great about this--he genuinely likes ted and this basically makes him realize he kind of hates his job and doesn't like the person he is and that he wants something better, something that doesn't have him hurting genuinely kind people just because he's supposed to, so while obviously i can't imagine he's happy nate brought him this story--in fact, i imagine he hates it, for how it hurts ted if nothing else--in a way it also did give him the push he needed to change his life (and eventually led him to richmond in s3).

ANYWAY AGAIN, here comes the funny part which is then nate leaves richmond and trent joins richmond, loosens up, lets himself be the soft and nerdy little dork he always was, and then. then nate fucking comes back. and like. how the FUCK is that even going to go. like. they're just in the diamond dogs together now. nate just has to deal with the fact that Trent Crimm Is Here Now I Guess? We Like Him? He's Our Emotional Support Ex Journalist? and they're just like. yeah we're in a group of grown men who bark and howl like dogs and then talk about our feelings and we're just standing next to each other and this is fine. like. that is so fucking funny. i doubt there's any real animosity--i know fanon/fics often have trent being protective of ted and therefore venomous against nate but i just don't see that. it's not like he's thrilled at what nate did, but he knows he had his own part in it, and it's not his place to forgive or not forgive nate (that's ted's), and like. that hurt people hurt people, and nate was going through shit, and god knows trent's been there. so if nate is already in a place where he's sorry and he's worked shit out with ted, i can't imagine trent would be holding much of a grudge. (nate might think he does though, considering as far as he knows trent lost his job about it, but i can see him trying to apologize and then being gently rebuffed (about not needing to apologize to him i mean) and then... not sure how that conversation would go but i'd love to be a fly on the wall fghfgh) anyway grudge or not that doesn't mean it isn't FUCKING AWKWARD. like what a fucking trajectory. that is some funny shit.

like. okay, we go from 'kitman and scary journalist' to 'coach and scary journalist' to 'we both blew up ted lasso's life because you were having a crisis and that gave ME a crisis and i exploded my job about it' to 'coach of rival team and richmond's emotional support ex-journalist' to 'just two guys standing in the same room together. just two dudes part of the guys who howl and bark and talk about our feelings group. just two dudes with no history whatsoever. we're fine and everything is fine' ldgkjfhjfghfgh like this is FUCKING HYSTERICAL!!!!!

especially like. idk if word got around trent was writing a book while he was just hanging around richmond or if people would just spot him and go [squints] hang on is that. is that trent crimm? but i choose to believe nate didn't really know (we saw him see trent and ted talking once which--actually i'd love to know what he was thinking then, too) like he knew trent and ted were still talking but the idea of him coming back to richmond and everyone's just like yeah and trent's our mom now. what, why are you giving us that look. we've adopted him we're not giving him back. don't worry you're part of the family too. we're not giving you back either. hey did you know trent's a fucking dork? colin says he dances like a dad at a wedding and we've got plans to get everyone drunk so we can see too. why are you looking at us like that it's not weird he's our little guy now. nate is just like (chose trent specifically because he's supposed to be a huge cunt) but isn't he. you know. (jan maas: are you trying to say journo or cunt?) yeah. that. (colin: nah not really boyo. i mean, we've all been cunts before, right? (sounds of agreement)) (nate kinda goes yeah fair enough)

also again this is immediately made ten thousand times funnier if tedependent happens ngl.

#I GENUINELY THINK THEY COULD BE FRIENDS AFTER THE FUNNY PERIOD PASSES THOUGH #earnestly i think they'd get along so well late s3/post-canon #this is so long and disorganized lmao #gertspeak

[androgymagnus]

YEAHHH!!!!!

#BOOP! #gertspeak