#god why is this shit so fucking complex

[definitelynotnia]

had a fight with my dad and now i feel like I'm about to throw up

#he's the best and we rarely ever fight but #he was clearly in the wrong today #even my mother (hates me) said he was wrong and i had a point #it was so stupid too #i hate to say it but he was acting like a manchild #like im sorry but me asking you to clean up after yourself is not me being a 'privileged princess' its just me asking u to act like the #adult that you are #and he's like oh so when u go to hostel do u think everyone will cater to what u want? ppl wont be cleaning up after themselves there eithe #if u have a problem with it u have to clean it yourself like #ok sure in hostel everyone wont be super hygenic and i could face problems but that doesn't mean u cant by hygenic at HOME ???? #i feel so bad #i love him so much he never acts this way #i feel so fucking guilty but i was right though #god why is this shit so fucking complex #this is like the last thing i needed today I'm gonna have a full blown breakdown soon and i cant even do that bcz all my grandparents have #decided that they all must come visit AT THE SAME TIME and the house is full of people #every single room has people in it i cant even have a breakdown in privacy

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

so i never said this to anyone and bottling this up is exhausting so i'm just gonna vomit it here. PLEASE SENSITIZE CHILDREN TO ART.

#raj shitposting #so on new year's eve my apartment complex decided to have like a little carnival and people were invited to set up stalls for their stuff #so my mother is a mix media artist and i FORCED her to set up a stall which i kinda sorta regret now because of this thing that happened #so we were setting up our stall and a little boy comes up and wants to purchase something from the jewelry section and when we #tell him the price of the piece he calls my MOTHER'S ART A SCAM. A SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL PHOTOSYNTHESIS!!! #WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A SCAM ACTUALLY IS. CALLS MY MOTHER'S ENTIRE ART A SCAM. #i wanted to smack him so hard across the face but my mother held me back and told me to calm down and asked him to get lost. #but the entire day our mood was rotten about this #PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT IT'S NOT OKAY TO INSULT SOMEONE'S WORK LIKE THAT!!!!!!! #YOU IMBECILE IT'S EXPENSIVE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES SKILL AND MATERIAL THAT IS DIFFICULT TO PROCURE AND KNOWLEDGE THAT IN ITSELF IS HELLA- #-EXPENSIVE TO GATHER!!!!! #ART IS INVALUABLE GUYS WHY DO YOU THINK OUR PARENTS PRESERVE THOSE STUPID ASS CRAYON LANDSCAPES FROM OUR CHILDHOOD????? #he might be a child and not know what any of this means but he could just back off... this is NOT curiosity it's mean spiritedness #and FUCKING RUDE #i was a child sometime in my life. i never talked shit like that to a 40 YEAR OLD AND TALKED BACK WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO BACK OFF #smh #anti intellectualism #art

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Observing peoples reactions to morally gray or black actions committed by different characters is so funny. Throughout all of G. War the character tags were chock-full of people unironically enraged claiming “Bruce isn’t even capable of doing something bad like that.” about an action that is pretty well in line with his character journey thus far, meanwhile there are still new posts that gain traction that open with lines like “I know Jason has committed his fair share of sins/crimes but” like bro when. In 2010?

Also. The whole premise of the b*tfamily™ that you so love is built on the load bearing wall being that they are a crime family. Hell, do people just collectively forget the part where Bruce manufactures and freely uses weapons with his own furry brand logo plastered all over them, causing all sorts of 'explosions and more!' property damage all over the streets of Gotham? Pretty sure that makes him a terrorist but you people don't feel the need to go around reminding fandom of that every five minutes.

#as someone who loves post crisis Jason more than the average person who considers themselves a Jason fan: #how much longer are we going to pretend that’s still where we are today #to all the people who get so fucking worked up anytime Jason does something other than sit there and look pretty #what exactly do you want to see him do in comics anyway? vacuum his apartment? #like please let him fuck shit up for people whose plans were messed up anyway please let him have opinions and act on them #kelseethe #these people assume fans like Jason *despite* all his ‘wrongdoings' #when we repeatedly post about why Jason fucking with people was epic and cool and justified #while they sit there being upset that their traumatized problematic fav with a god complex #acts like a traumatized problematic bitch with a god complex lol #‘do Jason fans even know why they like his character’ seems like someone is in need of some introspection #disclaimer: l'm not a bruce anti. you know that liking a problematic character doesn't mean wanting to erase #every atrocity he committed and putting him through a redemption arc #I just have low tolerance for the utter ignorance of some of his fans lol #and that of his writers who market him as the agreeable voice of reason #while simultaneously portraying him as an abusive father + war criminal lol #the way I used the terms ‘morally gray/black’ here is subjective. #personally I don’t consider killing drug dealers/kingpins in a fictional universe morally gray because I’m not a fucking narc lol #but abusing your son for over a decade then literally breaking his brain is undeniably morally black in & out of universe

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[steelthroat]

At sone point some years ago I started saying "I am going to be productive" ironically and I could have never imagined how much damage this made. I am still trying to repair this mess and to unlearn to say this.

Philosophers were right in a way. Semantics matters, even if it looks like it doesn't. A simple word is gonna change the chemistry of the wrinkly organ if one does not pay attention.

#steel rambles #I want to unlearn the word productive #I'm serious #and many other factory-related words and phrases I use to describe my life and the things i do #it's like self-deprecating humor #it starts out funny and you end up with impistor syndrome and the lowest self esteem in the world #i would know. #ffs why is creating good habits so hard conpared to falling into bad ones? #loke when I had to shift from self hating jokes to “lol I'm fucking awesome I have a god complex” jokes because simple self love didn’t work #not even a month to develop the worst habits possible #and fucking 6 years and counting to try and repair the damage caused by those bad habits #and I get it it takes time and shit but it's frustrating. #especially when in trying to unlearn destructive behaviors you develop other (smaller) problems and then you have to work on them too #annoying as fuck. #especially when it's all diy #le sigh amirite? #btw I'm having fun with my research on Marxism does it show?

[87dvhnk]

"i read the wiki and i saw the pages/panels already, why do i need to read the comics?"

because a) some those comics fuck with awing dexterity and stamina b) there's a good chance shit is out of context or simply misrepresented (innocently, humorously, ignorantly or maliciously) and c) you know the beats/endings of tons of shit, but it doesn't impede your enjoyment of it, now does it? sure it's nice to go in spoiler free, but if the gimmick of spoiling material is all a piece of media has, then that piece of media is meritless. you knew who luke skywalker's father was before you saw the movie. is it still worth watching? you knew romeo and juliet died before you read the play. is it still worth reading? do you not want to go on a journey? do you not want to feel something? do you not want to commiserate about the human experience through art? a wiki will never be comprehensive enough to cover everything you would have read or seen yourself--it can't be, not without being the thing itself. even then, you still miss the things not on the page/screen, the things that are only implied, the things that go unstated, or else conspicuously omitted. don't talk to me about shit haunting the narrative if the only haunting you've ever been apart of was your passing despite your dogshit analysis skills haunting the conscience of your eng 101 adjunct professor in perpetual fear of losing their contract and being relocated from their car to under a bridge by demanding college students demonstrate basic reading comprehension, critical thinking, and coherent argumentative skills. boast about killing the author? my friend, you are cain advancing in the fields, skulking, stepping in abel's footprints, filled with murderous intent, with nothing but the chinese telephone-equivalent of a description of a weapon cutting into your soft palms.

#lmfao me #capeshit #thinking about that panel where blown-out-back damian is screaming at dick that he's crazy and he caused [all this] #that was used as an example of damian being a little shit #when it literally was all dick's fault bc he dipped a corpse in the green juice and that corpse tried to kill damian #do i know all the major beats of nightwing 1996? yes. spoiled to hell and back. did i get jerked around by emotions at multiple points #and cry like a bitch when dick tried to comfort aaron in the wreckage of the their apartment complex? i sure as fuck did! big ol' emotions. #the thing is you can read that scene on a wiki you can see it isolated on your screen but you will lack so. much. #the thing is comics are a visual medium. so much is said merely in the positioning the juxtaposition of panels. #like in venn diagram. what the FUCK was that. i don't know. but you sure as fuck won't find it on a wiki. but my eyes saw it! #ask ten people to describe a facial expression in a photo or explain why someone did something in a short story excerpt #and very quickly you will or should notice something disconcerting. you could be getting your information from any of those ten. #what did you see? what did you read? why. fucking argue about it like god intended. #yes indeed god gave humans free will to argue about their blorbos their specialist boys on the internet. #c o n s u m e t h e o r i g i n a l m e d i a n o t p r o d u c t s a n d a e s t h e t i c s

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[androcola]

if you could see that you’re making excuses for yourself instead of opportunities we wouldn’t be having this conversation whatsoever. you post shit online and then when people try to help you avoid it. grow the fuck up and get a spine.

give me $9000

#asks #anon #bitch im not fucking making excuses did you Just Read My Post you dumbass???? #i just GAVE YOU REAL REASON. why i DONT DUCKING HAVE THE MONEY OR RESOURCES!!!!!! #im glad youre so fucking privileged!!!!!!!! #also im fucking VENTING!! im not asking anyone to fix my problems!! im just blowing hot air!!!! #god DAMN i cant stand people #i DONT have thw money. i DONT have the resources. i DONT have the support system. i DONT FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING!!!!!! #WORST OF ALL. I SUFFER FROM FUCKING DEBILITATING ANXIETY AMD AGORAPHOBIA!!!!!!!! #ALSO every god damn apartment complex in my town will just put me on likw a 5 fucking year waiting list!!!! #you dont understand not SHIT about my fucking situation!!!!!!! stop acting like you fucking know #wanna donate to me? i can make a fucking cashapp. put your money whwre your mouth is #no??? no????? pipe the fuck down then #there is NO available housing in my area. i DONT have the money for a car. i CANT afford to move out of town. I CANT DO SHIT #want me to work a fucking miracle or something???? leave me the fuck alone i didjt ask for your input in the first fucking place #literally the only real way to make any money thats actually enoigh to live off of is fucking sex work atp #and foe my own mental health im not doing that shit #whatever guess ill get on my andrew tate sigma chad grind or whatever. grindset. i dont fucking know

[harichan]

when you tell your mom you don’t like how she’s treating you, and she says you should be grateful that at least she don’t beat the shit out of you like her parents did:

#personal #child abuse #child abuse tw #Jesus fucking fuck I can't wait to get out of here #low bar there mom. low bar #if you consider yourself a star parent solely because you don't beat the shit out of your kids then maybe you shouldn't be a parent #god I wish my parents had an abortion #she's also deluded herself into thinking that physical abuse is the only form of abuse possible #as if emotional and verbal abuse isn't still abuse #and I mean my dad shook me so hard when I was ten years old that I got a bloody nose just from the whiplash #so ur also not doing too great on the physical abuse front #walking trauma complex and anger issues libertarian are such a good combination #also why did you not leave my fuckwad of a father when he told you that now he understands why men murder their pregnant wives #like what the fuck was that #AND YOU STILL THOUGHT HE WOULD BE A DECENT DAD??!!!

[hollis-exe]

they gotta put some sort of enrichment in my cave man i just spent 3 hours placing cubes

#picked up 76 to round out the end of the season and oh my god base building has me by the brainstem #the worst part i think is that theres no way for me to show a non-player what i do without it losing a degree of its impressiveness #like dgmw objectively my builds look nice and a viewer would be like [wow! that looks great] #but they would lack the necessary knowledge to know why its great beyond the aesthetic sense like. #the insane fuckin exploits i have to pull off in order to make shit look good #for anyone still reading this: my favorite technique for punching up an area is merging and merging; #there's certain terrain features and items in game that #when under specific conditions #allow you to merge two objects together. but it gets more complex: some objects require support. #so you have to sandwich in either a conduit or a floor mat. #but then it gets more complex: even if you merge objects together; the architecture of your structure may prohibit placing it. #so you pull out a flame thrower trap. intentionally break the architecture (only possible across some varieties of wall and floor btw) #at a penalty. and then you place your shit. and then you repair it. and then: most vitally of all: you do not fuck with it. #a misclick can undo hours of work #AND FOR WHAT: BTW: I ENJOY THE PROCESS BUT OBJECTIVELY THERE ARE BETTER WAYS I COULD SPEND MY TIME!!!!! #anyway once i finish this latest build i think ill do a walkthrough of it or smthn to post here. im very happy with it =:] #daily h

[pointsfortrying]

Incredibly pissed off wondering if i should sleep or video game

#rye rants #vent #if my body doesnt decide for me <- running on fumes fr #slept a grand total of. an involuntary 2 hour nap in the past 3 days #talking to the communications professor ab palestinian lives was a level of frustrating i thought only possible when talking to my dad #no but why does he argue so much like my dad (smnth smnth. superiority complex in middle age men in positions of power over you) #like my brother in christ you come to a student giving out 100 god damn zines that they researched made printed cut and folded #in support of palestine holding a god damn visualizer of murdered palestinians #and you think??? I'd listen??? to you?? about israel???? #like girl! huff and walk away like the god damn clown you are #I've made it Perfectly clear multiple times that i give respect to those who haven't lost it and god damn #you lost it the second you opened your mouth with 'well but' #like #I've made it perfectly clear im ready to drop out of this fucking shitty university for its support of 'israel' #you think i wouldn't talk shit to your face? #even if i did want to stay I'd still talk shit #i am very clear about what i think and feel #if you couldn't tell i wasn't budging from my stance than that's fully on you #just. god. #even beyond that #seeing ppl walk out of that room was so. incredibly disheartening #im going to. try and see what i can do to continue raising awareness regarding palestine #already been putting up posters without permission but just. argh #i Know so many ppl here are in support of Palestine but its also just feels so #frustrating like #<- they live in a bubble/echo chamber with friends who share their thoughts regarding matters and can never #fully prepare themselves for when they walk out of said bubble #i feel physically sick staying in the school building for too long professor allowed me to take the last of this semester's classes #which im glad for but just. god god. this fucking world we live in fr #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

[just-rogi]

I’m fucking venting here bc I’m angry and don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m not sure if this is political correct or right or whatever but I’m fucking pissed - I’m a public school teacher who works in the inner city and this year alone there have been two shootings in my neighborhood involving students not dying school hours- and one student who went missing due to gang ties (they were found ALIVE a DAYS later) -

I’m fucking TIRED I’m FREAKED OUT and I’m ANGRY because I have to go into work tomorrow and I have to have that conversation with the kids during our SEL block because they will have questions and bc they are in middle school some will not know how to process it and will joke while others will be genuinely upset

and I feel nauseous thinking about the fact that my mother and four of my closest friends are all going through the same fucking shit as teachers at different schools right now- and my roommate who is trans- and unrelated to his identity is also kinda an asshole- has been shitting on me all night about how I’m not I’m danger like he is and how I don’t know his pain (and while I’m not making excuses I’m an openly gay teacher who works directly with the lgbt students and activly educated my kids on trans rights AND I work for a nonprofit organization that directly works to protect trans and queer rights and JUST LAST WEEK put out a video for our organization on antitrans laws - I’m not saying I fucking get what it’s like to be trans but Jesus fuck I’m fighting the fight for trans youth more than you are working at Whole Foods) why the FUCK are you quantifying suffering, why the FUCK are you lashing out at ME of all people, and why the fuck are you telling a public school teacher in inner city Boston that I have no idea what it’s like to be afraid- motherfucker I’m angry I’m sorry but why the fuck are you monopolizing suffering why do you think you have the right to talk to me this fucking way. I get you are scared but you work in Whole Foods in Massachusetts- the bluest state there is- )

there is no fucking cap on grief- sorry I’m upset at this as well but you saying it doesn’t directly effect me is just so fucking ignorant and suffering shouldn’t be quantifiable mf we are on the same fucking side why are you infighting right now (and I know this isn’t relevant and this is entirely unrelated to him being trans but god he is so fucking sexist- saying shit like I have no idea what it’s like to have my bodily autonomy at risk as if roe v wade didn’t get overturned THIS year???) sometimes it pisses me off like fucking sorry I’m being over emotional and overreacting to a school shooting as a fucking public school teacher GOD I should be allowed to be angry too in my own goddamn apartment-

you don’t get to sit on your high horse and say you suffer more than me and that I’m not allowed to be afraid ok I’m done I’m gonna go in tomorrow and make sure to hug my one openly trans kid extra hard bc I know they are suffering just like I know my roomate is suffering and needs a place to express his anger- I get I’m an easy target bc I’m a safe person to lash out at and I’m not telling anyone how to grieve and I know a lot of this is just knee jerk reaction to violence and anger- I just wish he wasn’t expressing it at the one fucking person who doesn’t deserve it, like fuck, the one thing people always say about public school teachers is that we have it TOO easy, especially the night after a school shooting

*Also fuck terfs and fuck anyone who is using a tragedy as an excuse to hate trans people*

#he keeps talking about how cis people need to do better #as if a) I haven’t talked in depth about my own gender identity and how I’m not entirely aligned with ‘cis womanhood’ as a lesbian #with a complexed identity #and b) even if I was cis (which in most cases it’s just easier to say that I am) IM THE ONE GETTING MY FUCKING BOOTS DIRTY HERE #IM THE ONE BRINGING IN BOOKS FOR MY QUEER KIDS WHEN THE LIBRARY DOESNT HAVE ANY #IM THE ONE ADVOCATING FOR CALLING OUR TRANS KIDS BY THEIR PREFERED PRONOUNS AND NAME #IM THE ONE GOING TO MEETINGS TWICE A WEEK TO ORGANIZE QUEER EVENTS IN RURAL AMERICA THAT PUT TRANS WOMEN AND DRAG QUEENS FRONT AND CENTER #IM THE ONE RESEARCHING LOCAL CIVIL RIGHTS LAWS ABOUT OUR TOWN DENYING APPROVAL FOR OUR EVENT ON THE BASIS OF CROSSDRESSING #NOT BEINF CHILD FRIENDLY (we are working on it dw we have a team on this ) #IM LACING UP MY DYKE BOOTS EVERY FUCKING DAY AND SHAKING HANDS WITH SISTERS WHO HAVE WATCHED THEIR FRIENDS AND LOVERS DIE- INCLUDING #A SISTER WHO WAS AT FUCKING STONEWALL #I’m not trying to pull the whole ‘I’m gay so I get it ‘ card bc that’s not cool when cis people do that shit #but I’m a fucking public school teacher- I’m allowed to grieve a fucking school shooting FUCK #god why are you fucking quantifying suffering mf you work in a grocery store your life and the lives of others aren’t on the line daily #^^that also isn’t a dig at his work - working in a grocery store is a fine career and he deserves a living wage and dignity #but also… there haven’t been 130 shootings at Whole Foods market in 2023 alone so maybe fucking let me be angry #god #i really hope this shit doesn’t get twisted I just need to vent #if you don’t like this just block me idc I’m not fighting anymore #tw school shooting #tw gun violence #tw gun mention #school shooting

[dean-smiths-suspenders]

JENNA I JUST FINISHED THE FIC

@bloodydeanwinchester you will be paying for my therapy bills

#THIS FIC DEAR GOD #as if it wasn’t the most painful and glorious thing ever #i hyperventilated like six times #also. god they’re so TENDER I will CRY #deans coming out scene had me WHEEZING #dean: yeah uh. men. sam: What the fuck dean: listen to me you little shit. men. sam: I fucking knew it dean: sam: dean: sam: I also like m- #ummmm not to be fucked up about fictional people but I did almost cry four separate times under the duress of #extremely intense and horrifyingly complex feelings #also. then chapter twelve said “here as if I didn’t just turn your brain upside down and shake it why don’t I give you some #genderfluid and polyam representation” LIKE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK. THE WHIPLASH I GOT. POLYAM IN MEDIA I WILL CRY OF JOY #lastly the constant theme of dean’s brain being absolutely broken GOT ME #cas: *exists* #dean: shit. holy fjucking shitballs i. #dean’s brain: *shuts off* #the self-aware part of dean’s brain: of course u did. bitch

[starlooove]

Not to bring up SDS but whenever I imagine Duke raised by Gnomon, it’s him with an Escanor type personality and the power to back it up

#i HEARD of Gnomon before I actually read through dukes comics #so I know I was wrong Abt what he was before but I still like it #Duke to me is THE personification of light #like Gnomon and Duke are like the opposites of Trigon and Raven #which is why I like the idea of them training together or fighting or smth idk #the parallels that I completely made the fuck up are so good <3 #in Duke raised by Gnomon AU he and Damian would be friends but terrible for eachother #like they each fuel the others superiority complex and divine right to rule thing #so like…they CANNOT be friends pre or during redemption #they will absolutely throw eachother back into toxic thinking immediately #now if one of them is POST redemption or if both of them are that’s a different story #i think it’s funny bc in my au Duke would adopt gnomons superiority thing in a way raven didn’t #so he’d be like my dads better than yours and HES gonna conquer all the multiverses 🤭 #and shes like ok… #in this au raven is actively pushing Duke towards a better path bc she gets it #but also hes SOOO annoying god shut upppp #the batfam exists or whatever but raven trying to wrangle Duke who’s dragging Damian along is just #she has them on kiddie leashes and they wail at the injustice of it all #my explanation for how she knows them is #Duke was raised by gnomon but some otherworldly shit happened and he ended up with his mom at like…12-13 let’s say #and so as of NOW at like 15 he has some morals and empathy but it’s hard and when gnomon comes knocking he’ll be waiting #then joker thing happens and he gets such a shock bc for all his power he couldn’t do shit about it #and the parents that had hope in him that loved him unconditionally are gone #ends up with Bruce idc if it doesn’t make sense it’s whatever #meets Damian they make eachother worse Dick sees this and is like urethra 💡🙂 #and BEGS raven for tips and she’s like yeah I’ll help the youth become better people 😌 #she promptly reconsiders her stance on violence and considers homicide everyday but they WILL get better she’s committed now #duke thomas #raven #Damian wayne

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Fighting the Cain instinct so fucking hard rn.

#so found out today the kitchen sink is leaking #i mention this to my sister when she gets home from work #she says oh yeah i know i noticed that a few days ago #and i said why didn't you mention this so i could try and fix it??? #and she hits me with the most petulant 'well its not like anyone in this house listens to me anyways' ever #i could have wrung her fucking neck #you noticed the sink was leaking DAYS ago and instead of saying anything #you just kept it to yourself bc you have the strongest victim complex i have ever seen in a person? #you are thirty fucking years old #you are a grown ass adult #you complain all the time about being treated like a kid #and then you do this shit bc you have a massive chip on your shoulder #god don't get me wrong #i love my sister a lot #but she is the single most negative depressing petulant person i have ever met #SIGH anyways now i gotta fix the sink #which i could have done days ago if someone had just fucking casually mentioned oh i think the sink is leaking #i deserve an award for not cursing her out

[fairyzar]

the older i get the more confused i become in regards to my identity.

#z escribe #i have been aware that i was adopted from a young age. heck i knew before my mom told me because i watched the health channel #and i rmbr they showed a skin color chart and i pieced together...two white parents don't equal a brown kid #and i thought that the colorblind mindset was a proper one to be brought up with. obviously not as i experienced racism in elementary. #and was extremely confused why 'other' white kids didn't see me as white either...well no shit you're not white baby aza #and i went through a radical phase during middle school. hating all white people. but then my mom's white fragility deterred me from that #as any time i would voice my anger she would... quite literally in tears... try to reason with me and be like ''but i'm white people... #do you hate me?'' to which i would always have to soothe her. and honestly i have become comfortable in identifying with mixed. #it is a comfortable identity because i have grown up without any specific culture (outside of american. which. how does one even begin to #define the complexities of such an identity... the way that american as a nationality transcends as it becomes a civil religion.) #anyways. i have been thinking about a guy at a party and our conversations. and how we got to our identities and i instantly... #out of habit really. told him ''well i'm half mexican or indigenous too... but i mean it's not like i'm really latin.'' and he was like. #''no azaria. you are. don't diminish yourself and your ancestors just because you weren't able to grow up around that culture'' #his comment made me think about my identity once again after a long time of not wondering what it means to be Me. #and i recently submitted a paper for an internship. and god. i was reading it to my white mom. and after i read the concluding paragraph #she asked me to read it again. to which i did. and then after a pause she sighed and said i was being ''too angry'' #and when i asked her to elaborate she simply said ''well it makes it sound as if white people are evil'' #mind you. my application paper is about working at a museum for african american/black art preservation. like. art history is so deeply #saturated with colonialism and racism??? and she just chose to ignore that point of my paper and focus on me critiquing her fellow white #people. and to categorize me as the 'angry black person' are you Fucking kidding me. but then even with that she was like. #''i just don't get why you're so angry. you're not even black. i mean. you don't look black at all. you look mexican'' #she constantly wants my identity to be simple. to be watered down. to be digestible. #i am the product of a biracial mother and fully latin/indigenous father. that is the truth of my identity. i will NEVER be perceived as #white. #but after that i just felt so incredibly shitty and called my sister and she told me what our mom said to her that day too. and i said #something along the lines of ''sometimes i feel as if mom thinks we owe her for adopting us.'' and my sister agreed. #it broke me. it really did. to know that i am not being overdramatic in my thoughts. to know that i am not simply being ungrateful. #my sister says that she copes with it by reasoning that our parents are born in the 40s and times were a lot different then. but it is hard #for me to constantly excuse their racism and ignorance towards my identity. both regarding my queerness and ethnicity. #i am so tired. so so tired.