this is not a new subject but it's one am and i have no better place to put my scattered thoughts on the topic. this is definitely something ive seen mentioned before but i think it's something worth repeating and fairly crucial to understanding the beta trolls and alternia as a whole, which is that alternia, as a society, ostracised and punished all of the troll cast we encounter. working solely off the text of homestuck we can't reliably extrapolate to how the "average" troll might be treated (hiveswap is a different beast), but i think it's valuable to realise that none of the beta trolls were in a healthy environment and all of them were victimised to some extent and punished simply for existing, simply as a mechanism of how their society worked. even equius, gamzee, eridan and feferi, who are at the very top of the social hierarchy and are generally subjected to much better treatment especially than the lowbloods, are still victimised and treated badly by alternia as a system and as a society, if to a lesser extent.
equius is explicitly stated to be "a freak", and is repeatedly referred to as off-putting by the narrative and other characters, and though he clings to the hemospectrum as a really shitty coping mechanism, to me it's a fairly reasonable reading that a coping mechanism is all it is. part of his development, if he ever actually got it, would likely involve letting go of his privilege as a means to make up for his personhood, and coming to terms with the realities of alternia as a systematically harmful society to him and the people he cares about.
eridan, too, clings to the hemospectrum to make up for the fucked up stuff in his life. he's a shitty guy, but he's also growing up alone on murder planet, and is expected to murder other kids' parents so his best friend's mom doesn't exterminate society. his genocidal tendencies are pretty clearly stated, i feel, to be hollow, and i imagine he would have similar elements in a storyline to equius. eridan's position as orphaner inherently ostracizes him, and we see that although he is absolutely privileged compared to the other trolls which should not be forgotten, he is still in a position to be victimised and punished by alternia for his deficiencies.
gamzee is a bit of a joke character before murderstuck, but we get repeatedly informed that he is actively nonconforming to society's expectations of the aristocracy, with a negligent parent. he is the model of what the aristocracy is not, a definite other on alternia, as exposited by equius a bunch, which makes it kind of ironic that when he snaps we see him exert his violence primarily through exploiting the existing class structures that permeates the trolls' relationships with one another. but, once again, gamzee is an isolated kid, and i think his active displacement from the traditional hierarchy and suffering at the mechanisms of alternia is a reasonable angle to understand his character.
going to wrap this up soon bc i need to go the fuck to sleep and this is way longer than i expected it to be, but even the highest of the high, feferi, is a relative outcast from alternia. something about her arc here sorry im tired.
my point is not to ramble about highbloods bc frankly i am a lowblood enjoyer but i do think it's worth acknowledging and understanding how all of the beta trolls were othered by alternia, even those who conformed the most to its systems, and what it says about alternia as a society and the beta trolls as characters
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Snowbaz, enemies to lovers, only one bed, 🦈, mature
Thank you so much for the prompt! This was a really fun one :)
So this is not actually M rated after all, sorry! I tried, believe me, but the boys wanted to save the sexy times for the morning ;) scuba diving is exhausting so who can blame them?
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SIMON
I’ve trained for a lot of emergencies. Mostly underwater ones, but some above-water ones, too. Like what to do when your dive buddy gets narced forty meters down. Or how to give first-aid on the boat for decompression sickness. And how to rescue a drowning person without getting dragged down and drowned yourself.
But I’ve never trained for this sort of emergency. The kind where you’re on your mortal enemy’s boat, in his tiny room, in his tiny bed, wrapped up in a pile of his blankets pretending to sleep while he curls up beside you.
The worst part is, he smells good.
He’s not supposed to smell good.
He’s my enemy, for crying out loud. And we’re on a boat. In the ocean. Surrounded by fish and seawater and unfiltered sunlight that makes a man constantly sweaty. No one smells good on a diving excursion. Evil, heartless shark hunters especially aren’t supposed to smell good on a diving excursion.
Except Baz, apparently, whose blankets smell like warm, comforting cedar, and whose hair smells like citrus.
It’s horrible, and I hate it, even as I bury my face in his pillow to breathe in the combination of the two—cedar and citrus—under the guise of oblivious sleeping movements. Plausible deniability, right?
He pulled me out of the ocean hours ago. Exhausted, sunburned around the sides of my diving mask, sick to my stomach from swallowing seawater through my snorkel (because I wasn’t about to waste the last of my tank air on a surface swim). He pulled me out, gave me a towel and some dry clothes (that also smell like him) and a bed to sleep in for the night, since it’s dark, and it’ll be easier to navigate back to meet up with my boat in the morning.
Problem is, the bed he gave me to sleep in happens to be the only bed on board.
His bed.
It’s his bed.
And there’s only one, because space is at a premium on small fishing vessels, and we both need to sleep, so we’re both crammed into it together.
I’m trying to sleep (I really am), but everything smells like him and my left side is too warm where he’s pressed up against me, and my leg itches, but I don’t want to scratch it because if I jostle the bed anymore, he might roll right on top of me. And we can’t have that.
“Snow, I know you’re awake. Stop huffing.”
Damn him.
I open my eyes, and it’s a mistake, because my head was turned his direction and now his stupid, evil, handsome face is right there in front of me. I want to punch it, but the blankets are wrapped too tightly and it’s hard to move my arms. (Plus, Baz is sort of lying on top of one of them.) I give up, sagging back into the mattress.
“Fuck you, Baz. You’ll pay for what you’ve done.”
Baz scowls. “I haven’t done anything. You’re the one who keeps fucking everything up.”
See, there’s this shark. A gorgeous, gorgeous hammerhead shark. Her name is Penny. I was the one who found her, after she was in an accident with a fishing boat. I rehabilitated her, helped nurse her back to health. I was there when she was cleared for release, and we let her go back to her home in the ocean. I still go back to visit her from time to time, whenever I have dives scheduled in the area.
All would’ve been well, except then this bastard Baz Pitch started showing up, trying to hunt her down and kill her. For what, I don’t know. Evil purposes, obviously. Because Penny is harmless, and anyone who would hurt an innocent shark is a monster.
“You’ll catch her over my dead body,” I tell him now.
“Very nearly did,” Baz says drily. “You should be grateful I found you when I did.”
I huff and glare at him, because he’s right, he did save my life when I got disoriented underwater and surfaced to find my research boat nowhere in sight and the sun setting on the horizon.
Yeah, he saved my life. But I don’t have to like it.
“I’d rather die than let you kill Penny.”
Baz makes a funny sound, like a cross between a snort and a laugh. “Penny?”
“The hammerhead.”
Now he does laugh. “You think I want to kill the shark?”
“Obviously!”
The tiny bed shakes as Baz continues to laugh. “What on earth gave you that impression?”
“Well,” I bluster, “You and your crew are always diving around this spot. I’ve seen you chasing Penny around the area. One of your men likes to carry a spear gun.”
“I’m not trying to kill her!”
“Then what?” What else would an evil bastard like him want with a shark like Penny. “Don’t tell me you want to take her fins!”
“God, no!” Baz yells. “How barbaric!”
“Exactly!” I shout back.
There’s a tense silence then, both of us looking at each other. Baz has raised himself halfway up on his elbow and is looking down at me. His cheeks are flushed and his mouth is parted, just slightly, in indignation. His hair’s falling in his face, and it’s tickling my chin, so I reach up to tuck it behind his ear.
He gasps, and I realize I’ve let my fingers linger against his cheek just a bit too long. (Not my fault his skin is so soft.) I pull my hand back, tuck it back under the blankets where it belongs.
“So you’re not trying to kill Penny?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
Baz collapses back onto the bed next to me. We definitely don’t fit—two grown men in a tiny ship’s cot, not even really a bed at all—but I find I don’t mind the pressure of his shoulder against mine, or sharing warmth under the covers. As long as he’s not trying to murder my friend.
“What are you doing out here, then?”
“My mother’s favorite necklace was lost in a boating accident here,” Baz says. “I was trying to recover it.”
“A boating accident? When?”
“Almost exactly a year ago. I’ve just about given up hope now, after all the time we’ve spent trawling the area. I don’t think we’re ever going to find it.”
“Was… was there a shark involved in the boating accident?”
Baz frowns. “Yes, actually. A hammerhead, like your Penny. It was quite sad. My father still feels awful about killing it.”
“What did the necklace look like?” I ask. “Did it happen to look like a flame?”
“Yes!” Baz says, and turns over. “It did! Did you find it?”
“Actually, yeah,” I say. “I think so.” I can picture it perfectly, where it hangs over the corner of my mirror at home. I like the way it catches the light. “It was wrapped around Penny’s head when we rescued her. It seemed special, so I kept it.”
“So we didn’t kill the shark after all,” Baz says, and he looks so relieved about it, I actually find myself believing he’s maybe not an evil shark hunter after all. “Can I have the necklace back?”
“Sure. If it belonged to your mother, then it’s yours.”
We both fall quiet, then, but Baz seems much more relaxed beside me. The night is still, aside from the gentle rocking of the boat on the waves and each small shift of the cot with Baz’s breaths. I listen to them deepen and slow as I drift closer to sleep myself.
“Light a match inside your heart,” Baz whispers.
“Hmmm?”
“That’s what my mother would say. Light a match inside your heart, then blow on the tinder.”
“Beautiful,” I murmur. I want to say more, but exhaustion is catching up with me, sleep close behind.
“Goodnight, Snow,” Baz says, as he rolls toward me, settles just a little bit closer, and I find I don’t mind that at all.
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