hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
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anyway the triplets might be smart but honestly they're just complete dumbasses where human crap is concerned
they're like a trio of stupid demon frat boys who do dumb shit just because
Hannah once watched Thompson, trying to be romantic, take a rose from the garden and put it between his teeth to dance with his S/O
... then he ate the rose. stem, leaves, thorns, blossom and all.
didn't care that his mouth started bleeding from the thorns, didn't care that he later had horrendous stomach pain, did not give one single solitary fuck that WHOLE ROSES ARE NOT FOOD.
just straight up ate the damn thing and would happily do so again.
Timber and Canterbury have done similarly dumb things, of course
in addition to each having basically one third of a soul, it appears they all each have one third of a brain cell
I love them XD
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my dream is to cover my bed in red and pink pillows with frilly ones with lace and lots of hearts and such and then crochet an aromantic flag blanket to keep on it as well. like yippee I love love!!!!! <- he is romance repulsed
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Ugh the first few episodes of season 6 are so cringe
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all the songs in the eurovision grand finale were so bad this year but I was rooting for czechia and norway because women <33333333
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i think what most of my complaints about this season of 911 come down to is they just didn't have enough episodes. and honestly, i had the same complaint about season 6 of the rookie when it ended last week, too.
like with the rookie, after the season finale, i felt like they had some good things and good parts i liked, but that they didn't have enough episodes to dig deeper into things i would've expected them to, or they didn't have time to circle back to something by the end of the season that i would've expected them to in a normal-length season. and i kind of felt like this season of the rookie felt a little disjointed and scattered at times in terms of how the storylines flowed over the 10 episodes.
and i think my feelings for 911 are similar, but that it's more amplified with 911 because of how well 911 usually does the character-driven stories and digging deeper in storylines most of the time than say, the rookie does. and it doesn't help that 911 started with the 3-part cruise ship disaster, basically leaving them with only 7 episodes for everything else. and i get why they wanted to do a big disaster like that...they hadn't done a multi-part disaster since the beginning of season 5, they're on a new network and want to start with a bang to attract new viewers, etc. but then they only had 7 episodes left to do everything else they wanted to do this season, and i feel like they tried to do the number of storylines they'd normally do in an 18-episode season but crammed into 10 (7 when you remove the cruise ship eps) and that just.....meant they really could only dig deep on one storyline (bobby and amir) and then everything else was just kind of surface level. even buck and tommy, which i was expecting them to get a bit more depth to their relationship and buck's overall sexuality arc after 7x05 and then they didn't.
and then you end up with what should've been a big arc for eddie this season (and i hope it'll be continued in season 8) and it had very little setup and not a lot of depth. i wanted to see more of eddie's affair with kim over a few episodes, but instead it was done and over with in one episode after he first saw her. and they introduced the fact that chris has complicated feelings about his mom in 7x01.......but then did nothing with it until this half-assed plot in the season finale where we don't even know WHY chris was so upset and angry (like what was it specifically about the situation and his mom and eddie that had him so angry!! we have no idea!!). and i know/hope they'll continue this storyline for both eddie and chris in s8, but i was expecting more from it in season 7. but they didn't have the time to do that with *waves hands* everything else they were doing this season with the madney wedding and bobby and amir and henren & mara
i also think there was a pretty quick turnaround on getting the scripts written to when they started filming an episode, and i have to imagine that impacted some of the overall writing quality and consistency this season. so hopefully they have more time to write and edit the scripts so storylines are better thought out in season 8 :/
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I might never get how I wrote this scene and then I burst into hysterical tears because of how much crap I’ve been going through in my life and it just felt the most lonely and yet not alone moment to be sitting in a new apartment alone at 2am and knowing there’s no one there to find me tomorrow.
Maybe I’ll get around to the rewrite of this. Maybe I’ll tell this story all over again. God knows I feel like I owe it to these two.
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