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#havent had the energy to do much art lately
this-should-do · 2 years
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morning, calhoun
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reematheroamer · 1 year
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Art from 2021 and 2022, not sure if theres much of a difference but tbh im happy with how im progressing.
I think the biggest changes between these two were switching from sai to clip studio paint and also switching from a parblo tablet to a huion.
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thatmooncake · 10 months
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hi hi!! i saw your reblog of your therapist au art and noticed in the tags that you dont mind answering questions. i hope its alright if i ask you one or two!!
so, you mention in the background section of the au that moon was used to trap souls inside dreams (or something similar to that.) will that be addressed in the future?? i feel like thats prime material for angsty stuff and moon feeling bad about what happened in the past :< not to mention the whole fazbear entertainment thing lending you the therapy bots and them linked to dream experiments is shady (as per usual with fazent.)
(also not as important, but is the whole "trapping souls" thing a reference to somniphobia, the book in the tftp series?? i actually havent read the story personally, but from a brief summary, im getting those same vibes lol. could be entirely a coincidence, but if not, thats cool either way!!!)
and on a more lighter note, can they eat stuff in this au? if so, id love to know their favorite ice-cream flavors! its a weird question to suddenly ask but for some reason this au is giving me "its a summer night, im up way too late, and im eating ice-cream when i shouldnt" type of vibes
anyways!!! im sorry i think i rambled too much but i love your guys' au, and yall's artwork!! cant wait to see more of it, hopefully in the future!
(p.s. unrelated but i thought moon,,,had the bisexual colors in his irises,,,)
Ooh yay hihi I love AU asks!
So! The dreamscape is going to play a big part in the therapy bots AU, and the angst and drama is very much ongoing - it might seem like fun and games at first exploring the therapy themed concepts, but you’re absolutely right, there are massive Somniphobia style undertones there. Moon’s dreamscape is designed to pull you in and it can be addictive and …energy consuming. Or should we say life force consuming?
Moon meanwhile? He feels closer to you in the dreamscape than in the waking world …at first. All the souls he steals become a part of him, in a sense. Remnants of them continue to float around in the dreamscape if you look hard enough, like when you start peeling back the wallpaper of a new house that used to belong to someone else. For the longest time Moon has not really been able to interact in the real world, and honestly most people in the dreamscape very rarely interacted with him either up until the very end, being far too wrapped up in exploring the vast dreamscape which moulds itself around their wants and needs. He’s been kind of used to his role as a passive observer, or a creature without much identity at all. But this time around, because you think he’s a therapy bot, he’s a part of the action. He’s actually being played with. This is unusual for him, and his feelings get a little more muddied over time.
Sun and Moon can absolutely eat in this AU - it was one of their ill-advised “upgrades”. And as the three of you start sharing some soul energy - uhhh, bond with each other more closely, they start to gain the strangest senses too. Senses they’ve never had before, like smell and taste. And they do not know what to make of this. But they do know that Sun likes neapolitan flavour (don’t ask him to pick just one, they look so pretty together!) and Moon likes mint chocolate chip flavour (yep you heard me, mint is good). And that having ice cream late on a summer night is what it’s all about (well, ask Sun about that one - Moon thinks you ought to be sleeping, but he’ll allow it this one time).
Never apologise for rambling I love rambling :D (also everyone who’s mentioned all the pride flag colours you are absolutely correct Sun and Moon say gay rights)
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99yikes · 1 year
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Hii! Nobara anon here! That's my new name, isn't it :D I like it! My exam went better than I expected which I am quite frankly very satisfied with haha! I did better than most :3 Oh dear! Anxiety is natural okay? Especially when it comes to platforms like this. BUT. You've got a lot of people supporting you sincerely and always!! You could never let us down- we appreciate everything you do <3 I'm glad art is an outlet for you! Please do take your time in sharing it with us! We love you!!! <3 <3
hi!!! i'm so sorry for the late reply ;n; but i appreciate your messages, thank you for sending them 💓 im glad your exams went well!!
in an odd way, i guess i havent really had much of a reason to be anxious about posting since lately all i seem to do is sketch and lose interest and then start a new sketch and lose interest... no dedication smh. hopefully when it gets a little warmer, i'll have more energy to line & complete stuff! maybe even color........(just kidding i h8 coloring lmaooo)
thank you for the love, i definitely feel it TvT i hope youre taking care, noba anon!! 🙏
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tearsasmascara · 1 year
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GK IM SORRY IF THIS IS LATE, I HAVENT BEEN ONLINE MUCH LATELY BUT HAPPY 100 QUINN!! ey we dont talk much but its always nice whenever we do<33 i hope u had/have a good day and may u reach more milestones in the future :DD! speaking of milestones urhm may i join ur event😳 im always curious abt how people view me tbh FEKJFH congrats on 100 followers once again bb!!
HELLO!!! hi welcome to my event !! we’re vv recent mutuals but nevertheless i hope you like what i whip out for you
want to participate?
so for you, we don’t know each other too well bit i think this one is a little surprising, but nevertheless
cmon don’t keep me waiting!
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childe!! so this might be surprising but lemme explain
first of all, who else is a chaotic beam of happiness other then childe? he’s such a goofy silly person and that reminds me of you, but he’s willing to do a lot for the one he loves and uskshd you give those vibes. he also is very good at what he does, and you’re really good at art ongomgomomgomgomgomgomgotmgotm (fangirls). i know he’s manipulative and egotistical and all that stuff and by choosing childe for you i promise (pinky promise) i’m not saying any of those are you haslhdd. i chose childe because he always brings a smile on my face whenever i see him in game and he’s really playful and cheerful just like you. he’s someone that i really enjoy being around ngl.
your color!! organs! i’m gonna keep that typo bc it’s funny is def orange!! i feel like this color is you because it’s cheerful and underrated. it’s really pretty and it’s always everywhere (i swear your drawings are everywhere on [tumblr]) and just overall you radiate very much orange energy.
your moodboard is mostly off vibes bc we don’t know each other well (id love to get to know you more tho)<3
i hope you like it!!
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blueempty · 4 months
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Oh yeah, its 4:30am alright
Listen kid, there's two ways to live ya life. You either post on your sky blog at 10pm because youre going to bed at 12am, or you post at demon hours because you decided it was your night to experience joy. I decided it was my night to draw
I've had big Fairune brain the past few days because I've been needing to finish the collection and I finally did. I found out there's a new one coming out this year and got excited until i saw it looks more like their games they made after Fairune which does not spark joy. I rememered having seen their game Kamiko on sale forever ago and liking the title screen art and then immediately nope'ing out when I saw what the game looked like. The old artist must've left or taken a dark path at some point because the Fairune 1 and 2 art is really really good, but then for Kamiko, Transiruby, and their slow life RPG thing I cant remember the name of, they switched to this generic early kickstarter era indie pixel art thing where the sprites legs are one pixel wide and they dont have enough frames of animation for how detailed they are and its just not great. Regardless, Kamiko is on sale on switch for $1.99 right now and I had 192 gold coins, so I bought it for 7 cents. I havent played much but uh, I wish that new Fairune was like the old ones lets just say that
I'm beginning to absolutely fucking love the PC88. The games EGG Console put out are all so fucked and jank but they arent unfun to play like bad NES or Genesis games. Silpheed is legitimately good, I'm talking more about Hydlide and Relics. I mention this because what made me play Fairune was that Hydlide wasnt on the switch lol. But I also just watched a video on Xanadu and like man. Like I dont think games should be that anti-player but literally zero games are released today that have that energy. Like imagine if the Marvelous guys were still making games like Chulip and Moon. Where theyre unbelievably charming and deep but they also fucking hate you and if you dont know all the enemies despawn if you kill them 3 times the game becomes incompletable. I guess Dark Souls 2 was like that
Anyways its my partners birthday tomorrow (cuz I havent slept yet tomorrow means friday) and were going to da zoo baybee, during a massive covid surge baybee, with non refundable tickets and N95s in our hands baybeeee. The event were going to starts late tho so I'll be fine on sleep. Lately I've been being a better employee and getting into work earlier, and actually doing my job for 7 hours than leaving and going to bed by 3am at the latest. Thats why most of my posts have been baffling or short, this shit sucks man. No time for Barony hat update. But I'm not working any extra days this weekend so i'm gonna eat all the hats that game has to offer soon
Peace and Long Life
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hedonianow · 7 months
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really did have the most amazing weekend. went out for a fancy rooftop bar with some new friends then to a regular dancey bar for dancing then to a karaoke bar then lyfted home & found a blue gatorade in the lyft then i barely remember ordering a chicken cutlet gyro at the bodega. saturday i woke up sooo nice and late and got some work done and also made it to the gym which was huge bc normally it's really hard for me to get up enough energy to go thank you levothyroxine! & then i just chilled i think, took bean on an extra long walk. then sunday was my big social day, i was supposed to meet corrina and some other folks for lunch but her bus up to new york was delayed so i just went to magnolia bakery bc it was right by the american folk art museum which is where i was about to go with my new friend emma and it was really cool honestly!! and then i went home and ordered hartbreakers and laid down in preparation for the frankie cosmos show which i showed up to at seven like an idiot but because i was in line so early i posted about it and elisheba saw my story about it and came thru so we basically ignored the 2nd opener and frankie made me super emo like that girl is the only person who i think really understands me tbh. soo then kept talking with elisheba and went home and walked bean (all these days ofc start and end with walking bean). oh also saturday is when my debit card came so i got that activated and today i was FINALLY able to withdraw cash and do laundry and then i just got stuff done i went grocery shopping and knocked out some extra work so i'm gonna get paaaaaiiiid & i took a lovely shower & i made vegetable stock & used that to make a cauliflower soup that my fav coworker posted on slack the other day and it was soooo tasty and hearty. i'm really just astonished & proud to see how much i got done this weekend i've really come a long way from my days of just lying in bed doing nothing for hours and not being able to start any projects. there were def some ups and downs, i had a kind of triggering conversation with indra on thursday where she was like very sympathetic to me but also is still remaining friends with the old friendgroup that pushed me out and it's like ok so what is the truth. but i havent let it take me over or really even take over my conversations. anyway tomorrow is my last day at my current position at work and i get to go to therapy too! and tell melissa about all my progress. overall im really proud of io!!!!
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watarulesbian · 1 year
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wataru hibiki my precious lil birdie aaaawwwwwww 
anyway i wish i had the energy to think deep thoujghts about her . deep thoughts thatd make me feel like a real #1 wataruknower . i wish i had the will to get my ass over to some enstars stories featuring wataru and read them but i dont hav anyfucking will for anything but mindless scrolling and being pessimistic i was doing #stuff today and then i had a therapy appointment and bam rest of day wasted............................................................................................... besides when i painted for a while lol i got watercolor set for xmas and its quite fun 
wataru is MINE!!!!!!!!!!! MY CHARACTER!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE LEAVESME AWESTRUCK I CANT EVEN THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! unless youre one of my three friends from twitter (hi) you have NO IDEA of the extent. of how i so adore and love wataru. and even than thats not all of my love for her. 
one thing tho i love when people draw her face very expressive. i wish i could do that in my own art of her........ im better than ai but worse than most actual artists :( i want to die because im not able to capture her accurately in artistic mediums but other people can? so MAD!!! KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE (to myself not to the wonderful talented artists who i admire very much) 
idk i just feelt like shit lately. its because i havent gotten enough wataru. the enstar doctor perscribd me 10 hours of wataru hibiki a day and lately ive been getting like 2 a day when i NEED more than that i need. like 10! i need my mind to reboot my brain and maybe put a fucking timer on youtube because i keep looking at shitty uoiutube shorts WASTING MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE AWAY AND MAKING ME DEPRESSED AND DOOMFUL AND AAAARGHH 
how many of you even know my name? i know 3 of you do (hi again) 
tumblr isd better for making long incoherent posts huuuuu 
need one of those send a number and ill give a ___ headcannon things ummmmmmmmmmmm idk i feel like all my awnsers to thosewould be dissapointingly bland and im scared that there will be something in cannon thatd contradict my hc (NOT LIKE A LESBIAN HC BUT LIKE A LIKE/DISLIKE THING) wataru is lesbian by the way and i think, as an autisticl esbian mysjmlf and YOUR wataru expert Wataru feels the isolations. the lesbian isolations. the autism isolations. maybe its weird and unrelated to what im saying here and it might sound even crude but whenever someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me . and i know i should probably tell that to a therapist and not post it on tumblr for anyone whos former ident lesbian to see this and feel guilty or mad at me but i JUST had a therapy appointment today and need to get it out. its been in my brain for a long time. and ive of course ive come to recognize and get used to people changing, ive never thought or said to anyone “nooo you cant be _____ youre supposed to be my fellow lesbian :(” but i never see anyone ever talking about feeling sad when a lesbian they know turns out to Not be a lesbian except in the context of transphobia or homophobia. like im NOT one of those asses saying “a trans man? we lost a lesbian im so sad” “noo lesbi ann is dating a man and changing her name to bai sexxx this is so not her! come back lesbi ann!” im just saying i feel  like when someone who previously idenntif as lesbian comes out as Not lesbian i feel a profound emptiness within me. and im NOT trying to guilt trip! and PLEASE dont be mad at me!  and i get USED to people not being lesbian! the emptiness goes away after several months! but yea whatever 
i want someone out there to make more art of eichi lovingly brushing and braiding watarus beautiful long hair. fic or art. or cannon for the love of god... theyd BOTH enjoy it the same amount im telling uou. even when they grow old together watarus hair is still long and still so nice and soft tbh like she got upset that it all turned white and talked about possibly dying it a lot but eichi is like My Wife Of Many Years You Are So Beautiful With White Hair You Are A Goddess. I Love It Just As Much As When It Was Blue.      but in present time as 19 year old young lesbian lovers i just know wataru has falllen asleep while eichi runs his fingers through watarus wonderful amazing shiny superlong hair. i know wataru doesnt wanna like be asleep in front of people but as part of showing her human side more, i see her doing it tbh, eichi loves seeing his girlfriend asleep and is always like Awwww :3 wataru doing normal human things with eichi is actually cannon btw and im smiling thinking aboutt that 
i want to write a magnus archives statement about watarus expieriences with a fountain (the stranger) she makes a foolish wish on that has her live a year where evgery day she wakes up in a different persons life and body and its totally torturous. after 365 days of that shes finally in the life and body of wataru hibiki again but she is incredibly traumatized . happier ending than most magnus archives statements because she is ALIVE with no physical injury and doesnt end up dying or anything. the stranger. i remember when i was really lttle i came across a ton of amazon reviews for a book that had a premise basically similar to this except itwas a creature who lived like this and it was a love story or something LET ME FIND IT HOLD ON 
its called “Every Day” i found it lol 
i never read it but i reacd the reviews 8 years ago so i feel like i know it well enough. it was easy to find by one single google search  ahaha 
i hsould be going to bed now thanks for listening tubmlmr 
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oiruse · 2 years
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Ego, Obsession and Fear.
I dont like twitter 'cause it limits my text so much and I'm the kind who likes to write LONG paragraphs , but I'll do my best to sum it up.
I'm also revealing a bunch about myself, but I feel it might be healthier for me to be honest about this than to keep it all to myself, and it will also hopefully help folks understand my strange behaviour.
A lot of folks have been wondering where I've been and why havent I replied to anything lately at all, and to put it simply, a HUGE part of it is because of the unhealthy ways I’ve been accustomed to relate myself to folks.
When I was younger, besides my cousins, I had only 3 close friends. One of them I hung out with at school, the other on weekends, and the other every few months and sometimes years. I loved them all very much, and I was INMENSELY happy that way.
But as soon as I discovered the internet and Art communities, I started to expand my social life and circles a TON. I started meeting LOTS of wonderful people. So many wonderful folk who I love very dearly.
I’m not gonna lie, i have a BIT of an ego and I like to give GREAT impressions to folks. I like making people feel happy and loved and cared for. And one of my fav ways to do that has always been to surprise them by drawing or things for them. I always did this for fun!
And I still do, although nowadays I tend to do this SPECIALLY after I havent talked to them in a LONG time because it was a way for me to say with sincerity “I’m sorry for the belated reply. I remember you, and I genuenly still care for you!”. And of course, on their birthday, I'd always have a Birthday gift ready for them! And if not, I'd do my best to make one eventually, even if it's days, weeks, or even months later.
I did this ALL THE TIME back in the day, when I lived with my parents, jobless, so I had a LOT of free time, fewer friends, my art was simpler and less detailed.
But now I have to bills pay, I’ve made a TON of great friends, friends who have helped me, inspired me, and who I REALLY, Genuenly love and care about a LOT. My art has improved and is a lot more detailed. And thanks to all of them, I have now a job. A GREAT Job that I’m Extremely thankful for.
But I am Still Really Badly Obsessed with keeping things the way they used to be. It’s like my brain wont allow me to communicate with people unless I have something to show, something for me to be able to express to them that I care.
It happens most of the time, and it SPECIALLY happens with people who have done GREAT things for me, support my art and job, offer me wonderful or unforgetable experiences, saved me from trouble and harm, or keep me sane by listening to what I have to say. Folks who I appreciate a LOT. And Even MORE when I havent talked to them in a long time. Weeks, sometimes Months, and occassionally Years. In those cases I just CANNOT deny them the gift of a doodle in order to show them my appreciation.
And I dont do its out of any obligation by the way. NONE of my friends ask me to draw for them. None. They all genuenly respect me and my time and understand it takes time and effort, thought and energy to draw and dedicate to them. It’s not their fault. I just genuenly love to surprise folks out of my own personal desire. I LOVE surprising and rewarding folks I appreciate. But I think I might have reached my limit.
I’m probably one of the most introverted people you’ll EVER know. And I’ve reached that point where my "anti-social energy" has drained so low that now, and because of my job, which involves art, (which also means isolating myself a LOT of the time in order to concentrate,) I just have no energy or time to catch up to everything and everyone.
Yet I still have this mental fight and struggle againts giving up almost every day.
“All your friends in the past have had the advantage of getting art from you for years. Why are you denying that same happyness to folks you've recently met? what about new people you meet from now on? That’s not fair to them! In Fact you should be thanking these people even MORE! They’re PAYING for your Independence, which is something you’ve been looking for SINCE FOREVER!!”
And I Fight and struggle and fight. Its like I try to be this justice warrior that wants everyone to be the SAME happy no matter who they are as long as they help me and support me.
And I am AWFUL at dealing with it in a reasonable manner. All throughout my life I've always loved to give it my all. My favourite thing is for good people to be rewarded with happyness. With a climax. And If someone is left out, Then It’s like I’ve failed. If I cant give it my all, to everyone, then I shouldn't even bother trying. That my time and efforts arent worth it, because they arent fair to everyone around me.
It’s basically either everyone gets happyness, or everybody has to wait, no matter how long, until they ALL can get it. all at ONCE. (There's sometimes some exceptions, but most of the time my brain/feelings DEMAND me to go "ALL or NOTHING" .)
And I’m very aware what I want is legit Impossible, and that all of this is a really bad obsession and most likely a mental problem of some sort that I’ve developped and fed over the years. I might probably need actual professional help, but What makes me happy is that I dont have to blame anyone other than myself. All my friends and family have shown (and still show) genuine care, support and respect for me in this aspect and I appreciate them so much for it. And that actually helps. I'm NOT an abuse victim of any kind. This is all on me and my own brain and ego, and It's on me to change that.
And I just have to figure out how to deal with this. I probably just have to start behaving like a normal human being and understand and respect my limits and lower my ego a bunch.
I love to think of myself as being this special thing destined to mass produce happyness and satisfaction everywhere I go (which is how I've seen myself for literally half of my entire life). But I have to give it all up and look for other ways to achieve something close to it without draining myself dry. I bet most folks would already be more than happy to just hear about my whereabouts through text.
It's just really hard because of fear. Fear of becomming the opposite of that.
I'm afraid that folks will be dissapointed by this change. By not being "as good as I used to be" anymore... by becoming "normal". To stop working on birthday gifts for everyone from now on, and simply say "Happy birthday!" on time in stead.
I just want to be productive again. If I focus too much on individuals, I'll never be able to reach the masses. I LOVE making ALL of my friends happy, but I also want to help make the world a better place. And for that, I also need my own time and energy too. I wouldnt want anyone to go through what ive been going through, to end up obsessed, paranoid, anxious or depressed over me for small details. I'd rather my friends and family do their own thing and be happy doing it, wether I'm included or not. And I believe it's only fair if I offered myself the same deal.
I want to stop being afraid to be a "Lesser" person. I'm just a human being. Well maybe a bit of a cat, but mostly MOSTLY human. Haha.
Thank you for reading.
-Oi
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asimplechaos · 2 years
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so i havent really posted much here to let people know what’s up and like. idk. felt the people who only have contact w me via tumblr should at least know, so. here’s some updates i guess.
for starters, it’s been a year since i moved to the states. it hasn’t been terrible, but it’s still been a big adjustment, and i still have yet to receive any of my stuff from home aside from my electronics which i got... october of last year. and my parents have to move from their current house so they’ve been busy with that and it’s just. ugh.
artfight has burned me out a little bit but i think that’s in conjunction with adhd being ‘oh but you wanna draw This instead’ so i’m gonna try and cordon off the stuff i want to draw until i get some more attacks done--at least my bookmark queue.
but aside from a couple other things i haven’t really done art for the sake of it since. well. moving. even after getting my tablet, it was hard to jump back into the swing of things because various things were damaging my wrist and i couldn’t draw for very long, and even now arthritis is kicking my ass and i have yet to see anyone about it, so my artistic battery has been super low. doesn’t help my specific arthritis is rheumatoid, and due to recent events one of the most popular medications to treat it is being stopped for thousands of people, so. yeah. kinda feels like my hopes of managing it with anything aside from a topical menthol-based gel are dead in the water.
because of this, i don’t really feel up to doing commissions so much right now, as i only have so much art energy in the day and doing commission work eats into other things. “you don’t have to do it in one day,” you can tell me, but I Am Being Paid Money And People Deserve Product Soon To Prove I Am Good Worker, do you see the issue here?
and as a result, pretty much all the money i’ve been making has been from adopts, which are fun, but never guaranteed to sell, so. eh.
honestly looking at all this i think i might be in a depressive slump which. okay.
pretty much the only thing i’m finding enjoyment working on is Court of Fools, and even that has had a lot of setbacks due to me tackling the story outline and having to rewrite entire chunks when i realize something isn’t working out or helping with the pacing.
not to mention some real life stuff has happened to a family member i’m not emotionally close to but me and my grandparents are the only immediate family who are physically nearby, so that’s. been a thing.
i guess this has just been a long way of saying... idk if i’ll be posting my own content here for a while. most of what i do ends up on discord and is for other people anyway, and i’ve started getting quieter and quieter on my twitter as well.
so like. yeah. existing is kinda tiring right now.
if you do wanna see stuff i produce and put out, then i will always loudly point and wave my hands at Court of Fools because it is my baby and i want people to See It and Play It and Like It, but other than that... yeah.
not that i expect a whole lot of people to, considering how engagement with my content has been as of late. did that sound too pessimistic? probably.
so i guess thanks for reading this far if you did. not sure how to close this out but.. yeah. as the picture says, i’ve been surviving, but not thriving.
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jaekaicx · 2 years
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countdown prompt 10 - fire
part 2 (part 1)
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shrimploverart · 3 years
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I noticed that you haven't been posting lately, and I just wanted to say that I hope you're doing okay, and that if you're experiencing any difficulties that they're over soon. I love your art and I hope you have a great day! <3
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Yeah im fine! Thank you for your concern 💖
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waspgrave · 4 years
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So many of u follow me for only wayhaven so it’s over for all of us when the demo is released
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wingedbeings · 3 years
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hai
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starlingduck · 5 years
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Could you maybe do jim starling with asexual? :)
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Sorry for such a gap in posting!! I'm going to do some pride reqs out of order from now on, but I don't think I'll be doing every single one anymore.
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