Whumpcember 7
All of this Whumpcember is a single, long fic, with the prompts used in specific scenes, in order. See the Masterlist and AO3 link here.
((content warnings: head trauma, brain damage, blood, beating?, domestic violence?, gaslighting?, unreality, gentle whumper / carewhumper))
promptspiration: @whumpcember Day 7: Fainting
Whumpee: Draco Malfoy
Carewhumper: Harry Potter
Pairing: mild Harry/Draco
whump type: slow burn abuse fic with a whumpee who doesn't even realise he's a prisoner -> looks like hurt/comfort, sick fic
fic type: post-Hogwarts AU
words: ~2200
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Draco woke in the dark, the fire burned out, and he was cold. When was he not cold? He could tell immediately that he was fully awake and would not be sleeping again, and he made himself leave the warmth of the blankets, because he could feel dark thoughts pressing against the back of his mind that he needed to distract himself from.
He took a single bite of the half a sandwich remaining beside the bed and then got up.
And the door was locked again. A sudden surge of fury had him yanking the door with a yell; this time, it came open for him with, and the satisfaction sat happily alongside the anger. He was going to kill him. If he was accused of murder, he might as well follow through, and right now he could not think of anyone he would rather kill than the condescending asshat who kept locking him in his room…
He was just at the bottom of the stairs when the front door came open with a wave of cold air. The wandlight went out in the same instant he looked over, leaving him with just the impression of a tall silhouette carrying several bags or packages, against the vaguely orangish light of the street. For a split second, he didn't think he recognised the silhouette — it was too tall, too thin, too angular, it wasn't Harry at all, it was an Auror or a Death Eater come for him—
Then he yelled, and even if the voice was still deep and strange with fury, the tone of it was so terrifyingly familiar that it stopped his breath and froze him in place. "God damn it, Draco!"
Any sound he made was drowned out in the sound of Harry's packages hitting the floor, and then he had crossed the hall and grabbed him by the arm, yanking him from the stairs. Draco gasped and seized up in a sudden irrational surge of fear, like his heart had locked up.
"I gave you one fucking instruction!" His back was slammed into the wall, and he tried to pull away, then Harry's fingers snatched a handful of his hair to hold him still. "One fucking thing, for your own good, and you can't even do that!" He tried to grab his arm and Harry slammed his head into the wall. The darkness bloomed with irrational flashes of colour, blood was rushing in his ears, so much pain spiked through his head he almost couldn't hear him. His head was yanked up and then driven into the wall again. "Why is it so damned hard for you to do as you're told?"
He couldn't control his limbs; his legs went limp and dragged him down the wall, twitching, everything pulling away in the sound of blood rushing and indecipherable yelling.
—-
"Draco!"
There was light, but it hurt him to look. He moved his face away from it and was overwhelmed by blinding pain in his head. He couldn't move, could barely breathe.
"Thank Merlin…" Harry breathed above him, and a hand rested on his chest. There were more words but it didn't make much sense, something about healing. They weren't important, out there beyond the pain. He whimpered faintly as something touched him and the pain burst through his skull.
A reassuring hand rubbed his chest slowly, and the pain in his head slowly lessened, to the sound of Harry's murmured spells. He was able to start breathing better and cracked his eyes open. The light of the single lit lamp up the wall was still a lot, but it didn't quite hurt.
"Can you hear me, Draco?" Harry leaned over him, searching his face.
His heart jumped into his throat and he sat up with a gasp, almost hit him with his head, pushed away, and collapsed against the bottom railing of the bannister, churning stomach heaving but not quite able to throw up. The room was spinning and he couldn't let go or he'd tumble away.
"It's okay." Harry followed and set his hands on his back. "It's all right, take it easy, you hit your head—"
"You did this!" He twisted and weakly tried to shove his hands away in a blind panic.
Harry pulled back with a bewildered expression. "What?"
"You hit… Yelling…" He was gasping and pushing himself back, away from him, before he could hurt him again.
Harry held up his hands backing away. "You think I hit you?"
"You locked my door!"
"I didn't, Draco. I told you I wouldn't do that." He reached out tentatively. Like he was a wild animal. "And what does that have to do with hitting you?"
"I don't…" He hunched over, holding his head in one hand. If it would just stop hurting he could think!
"Draco…" A hand lightly settled on his shoulder, and lifted when he flinched and shoved him away, and then returned to rub his arm. "Draco, calm down. It's all right. Nobody's going to hurt you. Were you dreaming?"
"No!" He held his head where Harry had smashed it into the wall; his hair was matted with blood, and it hurt, so fucking bad.
"Hey, hey." Harry moved closer and put his arm around him, holding him with implacable gentleness when he tried to pull away again. His heart was racing but he couldn't move when he realised he was trapped — couldn't get away. Couldn't breathe. "Hey, it's all right. You hit your head, bad. What you're saying sounds like your dreams — those nightmares you have about me?" He rubbed his back slowly. "It doesn't make sense. I locked your door and then punched you? How could I do that?"
"I don't…" Draco gasped, clutching around his mind for any kind of answers.
"Look, Draco." Harry held him against his side and nudged his jaw to turn his face up so he could look around him. They were at the foot of the stairs. There was a distressingly large pool of half-coagulated blood across two steps, and a large spot of it on a step above. His voice was so calm, reasonable, understanding. "I have an idea. Remember how we saw your mind would make up memories?"
"No…" he said quietly. Not because he didn't remember that, but he refused it.
"I think maybe… you hit your head and don't remember how, so your mind picked up your dreams for an explanation."
"I'm not lying—"
"If that's what happened, it's not your fault. It looks like you hit your head on the stairs," Harry said, rubbing his arm. "Do you remember how? Anything would help. Or is it just me that you remember?"
"No…" He stared helplessly at the blood on the stairs. On the stairs. He didn't remember anything about the stairs. He looked at the wall in confusion, where Harry had hit him, but there was nothing there. No blood, no dents or cracks. He looked back at the stairs. "I…"
Harry rubbed his arm. "You're all right," he murmured. Draco looked at him, not even sure what he was hoping to see, but he found him looking into his face with an expression of both sympathy and fear. He looked so unguarded. Harry realised he was caught looking and looked up the stairs instead.
"You passed out," he realised quietly. He anxiously squeezed Draco against his side. "It is my fault… You tried to come downstairs, and I wasn't here to help, and you fainted and fell. Probably because you haven't been eating. I knew I shouldn't have left you, I'm sorry…"
He looked up the stairs, into the darkness. Was that right? He just… fainted? Harry's hand grabbing a fistful of his hair felt so real. He lifted his hand to his hair, but he couldn't feel anything. That side wasn't bloody. "I fell," he murmured, testing it out. All of the evidence said that was true. Why was his mind so cruel to him, then? So desperate for memories that it made up something so terrible just to fill a gap? It would rather believe Harry hurt him that way than not have anything?
"I'm sorry," Harry repeated quietly, running his hand down Draco's hair. "I won't let it happen again." He let him go long enough to raise his wand and clean the blood from the stairs. "I'm going to help you up."
He stood up and pulled Draco to his feet, and Draco almost collapsed again. The nausea rose up in a wave and the room spun wildly, but the real problem was that his leg buckled out from under him. Harry caught him against his chest, and Draco weakly held onto his shirt, holding his head and trying to catch his breath to push the pain away. Occlumency to put away pain, make it go far away… Didn't really work…
"That's not good," Harry said, rubbing his back. "Let's get you cleaned up and I'll check you out. Up…" He supported him up the stairs, into the bathroom; he managed to get his legs working and focus on one step at a time. Draco winced away when he lit the lamp; the light felt like it stabbed him through the temples.
Draco got a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and was arrested by the sight of the blood that not only plastered his hair on the right side of his head to his skull and pulled it into clumps, but also covered that side of his face. He hadn't even realised. With his thin face and sunken eyes, he looked like a corpse. "Sick," he whispered.
"Don't, you haven't eaten enough to be sick, you'll hurt yourself." Harry conjured up a stool for him to sit. He wet a cloth and started wiping his face down; Draco closed his eyes and let him without interruption. "I guess I could do this with magic," Harry allowed, holding his jaw gently to keep his head from moving, "but I want to see if there are any other injuries, and judge how much it still hurts."
"Much."
"I know," he assured him. "I can see that. Let me know if something specifically hurts more, though."
The warm cloth wasn't unpleasant, until it pressed against his cheekbone and he had to gasp and reach for Harry's arm, to hold it back. Harry resisted gently, but prodded the area with his fingers, feeling the swelling. "Here?"
"Yes…"
"All right. It feels like there might be a small break. I'll take care of it." He took up his wand and drew it along Draco's cheek. A warm line came after the wand as the healing magic sank into his skin. "How's that?"
He nodded, just a little, and regretted it. Pain still lanced through his head with every movement, like a fiery net wrapped around the back of his neck and up over his skull that burned every time he pulled on it.
"Okay. That's good." Harry's fingers prodded his cheek lightly again, found it no longer sensitive, and went back to cleaning the blood. He moved onto his hair — and almost immediately discovered that the source of the massive pain in his head was just there, no visible wound but a spot high above his ear that made Draco stop breathing at the lightest touch. Tears of sheer pain leaked out the corners of his eyes — there was no emotion behind it, no social angle, no room for any of that beyond the pure physical agony that just forced them out. He needed him to stop touching, just stop…
"Shh, it's okay," Harry murmured, and took his hands away. "It's okay." He switched to his wand again and cast a spell over him. This time the difference was negligible, though, and Harry ran his hand down the back of his hair gently, but that still caused intense pain.
He felt Harry's hands guiding him up, holding his elbow and the other going around his shoulders. He didn't have the wherewithal to resist. He limped after him, back to his bedroom, and Harry helped him lie down. He was thoughtful enough not to light any lights, and there was only a thin line around the edge of the window to see by.
Harry sat on the edge of the bed with him, one knee drawn up on it, and very intentionally held both of his hands. "Squeeze my hands for me, I need to check something." He did as asked without questioning it, more focusing on his breathing, trying to find some sort of equilibrium. The breathing might be making the pain subside, just a little. Or maybe it was lying down, or just not moving. "Hard as you can… All right." He set his hands gently back on his stomach.
"What…?" he asked faintly.
"Nothing." Harry rubbed his arm. "I noticed you're not speaking well. I need you to show me that you can."
"Can… It just hurts…"
"Come on, show me full sentences."
He forced open his eyes and slightly turned his head to look at him. Even that shot pain up from his neck. "I can talk. I'm just… it's hard…"
"Why is it hard?" he prodded.
"Head hurts." He closed his eyes again. "Too much to think…"
"But you were okay before?"
He didn't know what he was talking about, didn't have the presence of mind to figure it out.
Harry eventually rubbed his chest lightly. "I'm going to put you to sleep and find you something for your head. I think rest is good for you right now, okay?"
"Yes…" Sleep, he wanted that. The respite of darkness. Please.
Harry rubbed his chest then squeezed his hand, and then there was nothing.
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