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virgincels · 5 months

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Leon when the government gets sick of his ass

omg bitch he’s such a pick me why is he lying

#inbox 💌#HES SUCH A #he wants sympathy so bad like get up

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chaoticacademicrubberduck · 6 months

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Rewatching the runaway bride and yeah they cast David Tennant as ten for the bi girls and nobody else huh

#doctor who #tenth doctor #i have so many feelings for ten #david Tennant #nuwho #60th anniversary #who #hes such a #twink #i love him

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m3t4llica-4-l1fe · 5 months

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any era of james before 2001 (which is when he went into rehab) taking care of you after you get absolutely shitheaded at a party

warnings: alcohol use, cussing, fluff.. if i left anything out, let me know

you two would be at a random party, james minding his own business somewhere in the unknown person's house talking to random people, his 2nd beer in his hand, the condensation dripping from the bottle and wetting his palm, causing the more than half-empty bottle to nearly slip out of his grasp and shatter on the floor.

he was taking it easy, he started gaining more self control at parties ever since you guys started dating about 8 months back. he only took it easy because he wanted to watch out for you, to make sure you were alright and also that you didn't do anything stupid the second he looked away.

you're leaned against one of the counters in the kitchen, barely able to hold yourself upright.

you push yourself off the counter, stumbling over to your boyfriend who had been watching you like a hawk from across the house almost the whole time you were here. he wasn't watching you right now though, and he didn't even know you were coming over there until you lazily grab his wrist.

he turns his head and looks down at you, seeing the dopey smile on your face.

"shit, baby, how much did you drink?" he asks, concern evident in his voice, but he couldn't suppress the grin that tugs at the corners of his mouth as he watches you stare off at the wall behind him, poking fingers out as you cluelessly count them, mouthing random numbers.

"don't know.. can't remember," you slur, looking up at him with not a thought behind your eyes.

"alright, well you're done for tonight, okay? can't have you puking on me," he chuckles, setting his beer down on a nearby table before snaking his arms around your waist and holding you close against him.

you don't bother arguing back, knowing it wouldn't get you anywhere. you lean into his embrace, draping your arms around his torso and closing your eyes, desperately trying to avoid the forming headache you're getting.

but, with the loud music and everyone talking and shouting and whatnot, none of it's helping.

you bury your face in his chest, sucking in a sharp breath as your head starts to throb surprisingly quickly. he looks down at you, seeing your eyes squeezed shut and face contorted from the pain.

leaning down, he picks you up, holding you as close as possible to him as you clutch onto him, arms wrapping around his neck.

"lets get you home, sweetheart," he whispers softly, effortlessly carrying you through the house and out to his truck, pulling the passenger side door open and gently setting you into the seat, careful not to jostle you too much.

he shuts the car door before circling around the vehicle, getting into the drivers seat and starting the engine after shutting his own door. he puts the air on since he knows you get nauseous in hot cars, and he didn't wanna make anything worse for you than it already is.

he pulls out of the driveway, driving you two to his house slowly but fast enough so he can actually get you there. "don't feel good.." you mumble quietly, propping your elbow up on the side of the car door and leaning your head into your hand, positioning yourself so that the AC hits your face.

"i know, baby.. we're almost there, just a little longer," he says softly, looking over at you before locking his eyes back onto the road in front of him.

once you arrive, he kills the engine, getting out of the car and opening your door, picking you up again and kicking the door shut before heading inside with you in his arms.

you get to his bedroom, so he carefully lays you down in his bed, kissing your temple softly.

"i'll be right back," he whispers before heading to the kitchen and coming back with a bottle of water, helping you sit up a little so you can drink it without choking.

he knew not to give you any medicine, even though it was much needed, because he knew mixing certain medicines with alcohol could make you sicker.

he learned that the hard way.

you twist the cap off the water bottle, sipping at it slowly before putting the lid back on and just using the ice cold bottle to put on your forehead to help die down the pain a little.

you lay back down, sinking your head back into the pillows, your eyebrows knitted together from the light coming from the lamp on his bedside table.

he kicks his shoes off and turns the lamp off before he crawls into bed with you, helping you take your shoes off too, as well as your shirt to help you cool down a bit. he wraps his arm around your waist, and you set the water bottle off to the side somewhere on the bed.

you lay your head on his chest, and he leans down a little, kissing your forehead gently and brushing some hair from your face.

"get some sleep, baby, i've got you," he murmurs softly, stroking your hair gently with his other hand, causing you to drift off to sleep after a moment

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bucksbisexual · 2 years

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i just think that gays flock together and steve harrington has been looking very familiar lately

#stranger things #steve harrington #hes such a #bisexual #yes cishet himbo x lesbian friendships are good but have u considered BISEXUAL himbo x lesbian

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sadclowncentral · 27 days

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the city where we live doesn't allow public barbecues so my brother fucking welded a grill to a handcart and now hosts "chill and grill sessions" where he sends all his friends his live location so they can hunt him down on their bikes with sausages in their backpacks while he carts it around evading the police like some sort of barbecue vigilante, grilling on the run. i have never been prouder of him

#he is an inspiration to us all.

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wolfythewitch · 15 days

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jesus in the hades art style

#he came for his lost sheep and took a wrong turn #art #digital art #wolfy religious tedtalks #jesus christ #bible #hades game #hades supergiant

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awittylemon · 1 month

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kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

#dungeon meshi #i like kabru he’s a fake bitch i like that in a man

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pillowprincessvarric · 8 days

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I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

#''what so he's just gonna keep making these?'' again. not beating the completely unfamiliar with the genre accusations

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Knowledge Revenge.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #senshi #Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity.#Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all.#Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure.#I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem -#I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time.#So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*.#I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much.#Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!

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contact-guy · 2 months

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sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis

#he would though

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phantomrose96 · 1 month

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With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)

You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯

The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)

You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))

This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D

Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪

Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.

If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O

I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)

Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ

Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.

If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.

#sorryz ill finish this post later my doctor says he needs to urgently check me for radiation poisoning

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necromimetics · 7 months

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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.

#sky.txt #we were talking about how some people conceptualize nonbinary as like a 3rd gender #rather than a huge spectrum of experience #and he just hit us with that

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butchfalin · 7 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again