#hey op i think you should tell us More abt them

[asherasgayagenda]

my take on @solaaresque‘s lovecore shuffle unit!

#aira shiratori #kohaku oukawa #outfit #shuffle unit #ensemble stars #enstars #lovecore shuffle unit #sketch #reference #my art #should i translate…. my handwriting is bad i know #cant draw shoes </3 #or backs apparently either #btw some of the arrows are pointing to parts of the outfit specially for the 5* #REXE RZE REZE REZE RRZE REZE DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THOUGHTS YOUR SHUFFLE UNIT GAVE ME IT WAS LITERALLY GENIUS AND I LOOVELOVE LOVED IT SO MU #i kinda wanted to give them a hat but i couldn’t think of anything except aira’s fs beret #STILL WANT TO DRAW THEIR INDIVIDUAL CARDS….. BUT TAKE THE DESIGN FOR NOW…. #hey op i think you should tell us More abt them #:p

[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

Like and Reblog!

add yourself to the taglist here

taglist (crossed out means i couldnt tag)

@kaitieskidmore1 @the-anxious-youth @little-miss-naill @powerpuffluuvv

#carl gallagher x reader #carl gallagher #carl gallagher imagine #carl gallagher imagines #carl gallagher fluff #carl gallagher x reader fluff #shameless #shameless imagine #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich

[minisoc]

As requested, line by line breakdown of testoster2's anti communist rant about parties.

> idk which baby leftist needs to hear this

off to a great condescending start from someone whose only left credit is claiming to be on the left on their Tumblr

> but joining a socialist party will be a waste of your time.

I couldn't imagine a more cop opinion to start us off with. i see things like this and i think: whose interests does this serve? "oh no baby leftists, don't join a party" just brings to mind this image

> you'll probably have to pay a monthly due

that's true. every communist party in history has taken dues from members. it's typically scaled to what you can manage though and it's part of the collective effort of the party organization to make social change. my dues sent comrades to Venezuela and Cuba to learn from socialists there, they produced our programs for free lunches, it built our community centers. i have no regrets about paying my dues, i pay dues to my union as well.

> that goes to like. flyers no one reads

projection. sounds now like op is defending their own lack of action with a lack of belief in the possibility of change. in my experience people do read things and even change their minds after reading things. if people were not able to be affected by the written word then propagandists on all sides would be in a tough situation.

> that you yourself will have to give to people

oh no, you mean joining a party means you might have to do outreach and talk to people? can see why it's not for op, then.

> (this in case the money doesn't go straight in the party leader's pocket).

op has never seen this but says it like it's a fact. it would be pretty easy to find out if your party leadership is embezzling and your party should be structured in a way that you know they'd be thrown out if they betrayed everyone like this. i have that confidence in my party, at least.

this is also very reminiscent about how anti communists engage with propaganda. they feel comfortable making claims of any kind whether supported or not. anyway, this is another obvious cop opinion.

> you'll waste time writing papers and reports and shit, it'll feel like having a second job.

not explained is why writing is a waste of time. i think writing for a party is almost always a useful activity, whether you're making plans for a new action or campaign or producing new agitational materials or analysing the results of previous work so you can improve on it.

it is a job, though. being a communist does mean doing work, society won't change by sitting at home and attacking communist parties on Tumblr. the lifelong sacrifices made by hard working communists are why we have seen so many socialist victories in the last century.

> the most exciting events will be lib shit like elections

this again can only be projection. the most exciting times for me have been in some of the countries largest protest actions, organizing campaigns to free political prisoners, providing at risk communities with basic needs and engaging with them, building new unions, etc. etc

> or peaceful protests that the party would still organize w/o you as a member

here's the key issue with op i think. they want to be vital to the revolution. they don't want to think that they're only one of many people all working together. yes it's true the party will continue without you, especially a wannabe cop like you. but it doesn't mean party work is useless, it just means you are useless as an individual.

> (showing up at a protest w/o having a party affiliation gives you more freedom

freedom to do what, i do wonder? being afraid of party work bc it doesn't let you do whatever you want is kinda silly, if you don't want anyone to ever tell you what to do then yeah don't join a party. if you want to make change in the world then do.

> + makes you a bit less arrestable - as opposed to if a cop saw you carrying a name tag w the hammer and sickle on it. just fyi)

this again appears to have been just made up by op. I've never been arrested for wearing a pin or a party tshirt. i don't know a single person who has. and I've known plenty of people without any markings get arrested.

> all this w/o even mentioning how (depending on your luck) there could be a lot of infighting, splits, sometimes purges

well yes it sounds like there would be a lot of drama wherever op goes but it doesn't seem to be the case generally. my party did form in a split, but over 15 years ago. i don't see any reason to worry that it would happen again any time soon. we don't infight at all, sorta the concept of the party is people who want to work effectively together.

another bit of funny evidence that op is anti communist is the inclusion of the word purges, lol. purge means expulsion from party, ooh very sinister.

> all in all, joining a socialist party is a very, Very ineffective way of building communism lmao

well first it's simply a truth that no socialist country was ever built without a communist party. not one.

but also, did any of ops points have anything to do with effectiveness? all i gathered is they're pushing an individualistic, don't tell me what to do outlook. and the condescension about protests and flyering suggest they want something more adventurist, possibly involving violence. remember the fbi and police always instigate when they infiltrate groups. they always push for criminal actions and violence.

> i'd instead recommend you talk to your neighbours abt their lives, and see how you can help each other.

hey, guess what a party does! do you think our new tenants unions and unemployed councils could come into being without talking to neighbors? do you think our new unions could come into being without discussing the way we could help each other?

> if you live in like a very rich neighbourhood or something, instead of joining a socialist party

well isn't this an interesting premise. i wonder what it says about op that they want to emphasize what the well off should do.

> it'd be way more effective if you joined a liberal/conservative party and then fucked their shit up as much as possible

sure, just see every other attempt in history at wrecking or entryism with the Democratic party. i encourage you to look into it

> if ur only goal is meeting other leftists, only go to the first 2 or 3 party meetings, by then you'll know the scene and you'd have already befriended the interesting people. that;s my advice at least

this piece of advice is generally good. in fact before applying to join any party if at all possible i encourage you to meet with the members local to you, see how they work, see what you think of their ideas and what they're doing. if they're not active in your community, ask why not. there's nothing requiring you to join if it isn't for you. but if you want to make change in this country, learning how to do it from those with experience is best. and working together in an organization that can effectively chart a path forward is the only option there is. every communist revolution was built with the leadership of the communist party.

#testoster2 #close reading #communist parties #socialism #us politics

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

#stream post

[eijiroukiriot]

hello! here it is! my shittyman stinkboy playllist! i have way, way more krbk-adjacent playlists than just 3, but since i’ve written abt my krbk playlist and my kirishima playlist i figured i should complete the trilogy! i wish i had smth real to post for bkg’s birthday but exposing what i imagine his shitty taste in music to be like is something, at least. happy birthday trashman 

Spotify Link

song descriptions under the cut!

this is so much longer than my kirishima playlist solely because half the songs in here are just randomly-selected emo hits. for convenience’s sake and to justify not explaining most of them, i’ve split them up into categories! 

Category One: Emo Kid Repertoire (read: songs that are on here for no particular reason, other than that i strongly believe bkg has bad taste in music) 

i. Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down - FOB ii. Punk Rock 101 - Bowling For Soup iii. Teenagers - MCR iv. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - FOB v. The Phoenix - FOB vi. You’re Gonna Go Far Kid - The Offspring  vii. Somebody Told Me - The Killers viii. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - MCR ix. Addicted - Simple Plan x. Hope Less Romantics - Make Out Monday xi. Next Ex Girlfriend - Bowling For Soup xii. Don’t Let It Be Love - Bowling For Soup xiii. I Don’t Wanna Rock - Bowling For Soup (can you tell that my BFS phase was my emo phase)  xiv. A Walk Through Hell - Say Anything xv. Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects xvi. Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na) - MCR xvii. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day (i wasn’t gonna put this on here and then i thought of the shots of bkg sulking around in the dark in the most recent op and started laughing) 

Category Two: Edgy JRock Songs I Put On My Workout Playlist

xviii. Lost Time Memory - Jin xix. Children Record - Jin xxi. Goya no Machiawase - Hello Sleepwalkers xxi. Kyouran Hey Kids - The Oral Cigarettes 

Category Three: Explosion Puns

xxii. Pow Pow - Elris xxiii. Bboom Bboom - Momoland 

Category Four: Songs From My Krbk Playlist That Remind Me Mostly of Bkg

xxiv. Bad Enough For You - All Time Low (please read the desc on the krbk playlist post because i feel like this one doesn’t make sense otherwise)  xxv. My Best Friend’s Hot - The Dollyrots (ok this one explains itself)  xxvi. Idfc (acoustic ver) - Blackbear  xxvii. Crush - Weki Meki xxviii. Animal - Neon Trees

Category Five: Kiribaku-ish Songs That Aren’t On My Krbk Playlist Because They’re Almost Entirely About Bkg

xxix. Su-suki Nanka Janai! - bandori lol 

“Even so, your face is too close, and you’re pressuring me with those eyes!!

It’s not like that! It’s not like that, so - listen, I’m not that—— soft!!!” 

-okay listen the dialect used in the chorus is REALLY tough-mean-teenage-boy (i’d expect the words it uses to be said like “that’s not it, stop it!!” but really it sounds like “you’re fucking wrong, shut your mouth!!!”) so i thought of bkg and laughed bc this song really doesn’t fit him at all 

xxx. Kissaphobic - Make Out Monday 

“It's cute when you do it, but Cupid is stupid -

He shot the wrong lovers” 

-this song is...really good! very dramatic, very full of deep-seated anxieties that the person who loves you must just be mistaken because you’re not ready to be loved like that. very reminiscent of the boy imo 

xxxi. I Drew You Once In Art Class - Antarctigo Vespucci 

“When will I ever get it right? Maybe I’ll never treat you right

I’m gonna leave when you say you wanna leave, and shut up when you say you need to sleep” 

-i love this song so much the actual music is so goofy and lighthearted while the singer is taking himself SO seriously. it’s like a perfect musical representation of spiraling thinking “oh god i fucked up this is the end of our relationship for sure” and then realizing. “oh wait i’m fine. i’m gonna do better” and then having one (1) less than ideal interaction and spiraling all over again. there’s something really funny abt it to me i always imagine bkg giving kirishima a cd and kirishima being like “i don’t really like this band though?” and then bkg flopping face down on his bed like “it’s fucking over. i did it. it’s over now” 

xxxii. Everytime We Touch - Cascada

-it’s everytime we touch 

xxxiii. Bad Mood - The Vaccines 

“Oh, you look disappointed in me

Oh, am I not as thoughtful as you thought I’d be?” 

-i highlight that line in particular because that’s what MAKES it for me. that’s what makes me picture a krbk breakup scenario every time where bkg wakes up the day afterwards still fuming and thinking abt it nonstop, and everyone’s like “hey man are you okay?” and bkg’s like “are you fucking surprised that i was never as good as you thought i was? fuck off i’m not some perfect boyfriend” feeling very edgy 

-in reality no one’s thinking that but he’d sure convince himself they are 

xxxiv. Give Myself To You - Vista Kicks

“I know you can do better than me

But I cannot do better than you”

-all of these are so angsty but i see this as like, a quiet self hatred anthem...aw i don’t want to describe it any more because i’m making myself sad on my own boy’s birthday but yeah i think of him w this one 

xxxv. No Lover - Jetty Bones 

“Romance seems like a means to an end

Maybe I don't need a lover, I just need the friend who carried my weight when my back was sore” 

-i don’t...remember why i put this on here...huh...i guess it’s just a punky song abt being mad about being in love 

xxxvi. Everyone But You - The Front Bottoms

-i’ve gotten this song suggested as a krbk song so many times and while i don’t actually like it much i do agree that i see the bkg energy so it’s here (i actually listen to my krbk playlist sometimes unlike this one lol) 

xxxvii. Teenager In Love - Neon Trees 

“There was a point when we were cool, 

And it never went bad 'til you were holding his hand” 

-i just heard this for the first time pretty recently, but i really love the balance of the “oh god being young and in love is the worst” and “oh to be young and angsty and be convinced being in love is the worst”. softly laughing from the future about how resistant you were to something that’s turned out so well for you

Category Six: kpop songs about thinking you’re better than the people around you or as i like to call it Bkg Trying Desperately To Hype Himself Up 

xxxviii. Don’t Matter - Produce 101 

xxxix. You Think - SNSD

Category Seven: Other

xl. RBB - Red Velvet

“OH MY GOD (he’s a really bad boy) he’s a really bad boy he’s a REALLY BAD BOY” 

#there is sooooooo much emo music on here just a fair warning #im like 'i didn't really have much of an emo phase' and then i think of 20 emo songs that still slap on the spot #splitting the songs into categories was really tedious so it'd be cool if you read!! but also like 2/3 of these don't have descriptions #so it's ok if you don't #if i'm being honest i almost never listen to this playlist #i've gotta be in a good emo mood #but even then there's a lot of songs on here that . i could not imagine bkg listening to skgjdsfg #like the (very short) section of kpop songs whose names are explosion puns #that part in particular makes me think abt how fun it is to make character playlists #mixing what you think they'd listen to w songs whose lyrics actually parallel the character w songs you just like for them #it's a labor of love and we all know i love that awful little man #happy birthday shittyboy #thoughts #k2020

[ryanugenthopkins]

50 questions game!

i was tagged by @cartrshart (tysm ash!!)

what is the color of your hairbrush? it’s a boar bristle brush so brown

name a food you never eat? i really dislike olives so i never touch those

are you typically too warm or too cold? often too warm bc i really enjoy the cold and anything over like 25 degrees (celsius) is too hot for me

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? walking back from work!

what’s your favourite candy bar? kit kat 

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i have! i’ve been to a few AFL games (mainly when i was younger) and a couple of cricket games with my family. i’ve also been to aihl and awihl games but those aren’t technically professional (rip)

what is the last thing you said out loud? “can i write my essay in your room” to my friend (as you can tell i am. not writing the essay)

what is your favourite ice cream? probably hazelnut or salted caramel!

what was the last thing you had to drink? a cup of tea (although this reminded me i should drink some water so thank you!)

do you like your wallet? i don’t really have one actually.. i have this stick on card holder on the back of my phone case which i always use instead

what is the last thing you ate? a pork banh mi for lunch!

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? not on the weekend but last thursday i went op shopping and bought a cute cardigan and top

what’s the last sporting event you watched? game five of tampa v dallas (only a bit of it tho)

what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? usually the most buttery i can find (often triple butter flavour explosion lol)

who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend! she did her med school interview today so it was a congrats text 

ever go camping? i have! i went camping more as a kid and on school camps but i really want to go again with my college friends soon

do you take vitamins? no i actually never have (if anyone has advice on if their worth it lmk)

do you regularly attend a place of worship? nope!

do you have a tan? i mean i have a very faded (fake) tan right now but otherwise im pale af

do you prefer Chinese or pizza? chinese food for sure

do you drink your soda through a straw? to copy ash’s answer- if its from restaurants then yes but if its straight outta the can then no

what colour socks do you usually wear? i have a couple of funky pairs to mix it up but usually just white/grey/black solid colours

do you ever drive above the speed limit? despite having my learners for almost five years i still don’t know how to drive so no

what terrifies you? people secretly thinking i’m super annoying and clingy

look to your left, what do you see? my friend’s super cute watermelon rug

what chore do you hate most? one of the best think about college is less household chores but in general probably cleaning the bathroom

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? peachprc accent (actually im aussie so. not much.) (also ash your answer to this is so funny i don’t think i’ve said crikey unironically in my entire life)

what’s your favourite soda? i don’t have soft drink a lot but probably sprite 

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru for sure

what’s your favourite number? 8

mysterious deleted question

favourite cut of beef? i don’t really have an opinion on this but probably tenderloin?

last song you listened to? groceries by mallrat

last book you read? not this reminding me i haven’t read in way too long i think it was the murderbot diaries series by martha wells (would recommend)

favourite day of the week? probably friday (hey ash why is yours wednesday)

can you say the alphabet backwards? nope :( i could do it for a hot second at ten years old because we had to learn it on our year five camp but promptly forgot it (which im a bit sad abt bc sounds like a cool party trick)

how do you like your coffee? if i’m getting it from a cafe then a latte but if im making it myself then black with a bit of milk

favourite pair of shoes? my favourite ones i own are my black docs that reflect iridescent rainbow whenever the light hits them and they’re super cool but i haven’t broken them in yet so can’t wear them :(

time you normally get up? if i have work then 8am but otherwise it’s anyones bet (usually before 11 but really who knows)

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets (mainly bc they’re the only ones i see unless i stay up all night)

how many blankets on your bed? two!

describe your kitchen plates? the ones i have at college are like blue and white patterned? idk how to describe them

describe your kitchen at the moment? again at college so a bit difficult!!

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? i’m a big red wine fan so probably that (only if it’s nice though otherwise i’ll usually drink ciders)

do you play cards? does go fish count?

what colour is your car? refer to #23 (pls no judgement for me being 21 and not having my licence shksdkjs)

can you change a tire? nope!

your favourite state? i’m just going to take this as australia since i don’t know USA states very well and say victoria because it’s where i’m from and i love it (mainly for how cool melbourne is tho)

favourite job you’ve had? probably my current job! i do fundraising for some really great causes and i love it

tagging: @jordaneberle @lajnias @korpisolid @ijustlovehockey and anyone else who wants to do it!! (but also feel free to not because this is defs a long one)

#no pressure at all to do it!!! #this was a good way to even further procrastinate the essay which is due in 7 hours #wish me luck lol #thanks again for tagging me!!! #ask games #about me

[nerdgasrnz]

Hey I think that post about Waterfall is pro MAP? Like yeah, it’s shitty that the terms of service say they own your art but it’s not shitty that they don’t want underage lewd art on their site? Am I missing something??

[Post in question]

You’ve got a point abt that, like OP outlining the explicit ban of underage art as a “problem” is very suspect.

To completely level with you though, as someone who from ages 17-21 operated on the nsfw side of the art spectrum when it came to drawing fictional characters.

When I was 17, I was drawing nsfw of Y/GO characters because it was “fun,” and I felt like it. I was around the same age as them. 19-21, I was drawing nsfw RW/BY fanart. For a while, I didn’t know better; even when I DID know better (around 20 or so) I did it anyway because zero impulse control, and it was still fun, and I was a selfish idiot who loved the validation I got from the audience I cultivated with that art as well. The characters I drew were in my age range, and my logic at the time was that “they didn’t look like 6-year-olds” like loli/shotacon art did, so I thought it was fine as a modus operandi for lewd art.

But just because my nsfw art “could’ve been worse” doesn’t mean it was a good thing either; The only nsfw YGO character I used to draw nsfw of regularly, who was of confirmed legal age, was Yuusei Fudo. The RW/BY characters I drew at the time were still under 18. It’s been 2 years’ time in the show, and many RW/BY characters are over 18 now. But that took 6 IRL years to do, and that doesn’t suddenly make my old RW/BY nsfw art okay.

I’m 24 at the time of making this post, and 19-year-old me having a crush on team SSSN was pretty valid I think. Expressing that on the internet by having an entire hoard of nsfw art from age 19-21 dedicated to them when they were still 17 in canon, as if I was going to die if I DIDN’T make lewd art of them... that’s weird. And I REALLY hope I’ve grown out of that.

What I’m getting at is that based on my portfolio, and one of the factors that made me popular on this website: I am not the person who should be pointing fingers about nsfw art and drawing underage characters, even if you slap on a “character is 18+” disclaimer, even if you’ve tagged/flagged the content.(on the flip side of that, I still get irritated by people that go out of their way to find content that upsets/triggers/traumatizes them, rather than blocking it, but that is not the subject of this post.)

“As long as it’s not shota/loli” is a very low bar for nsfw art, and even if I used to excuse my lewd art by telling myself that, the characters were still minors, and at one point, I knew that, but still drew it.

I will be completely honest with you: I am scared of the implications of the “punishment” for my old nsfw work. I’ve deleted most of it- more out of fear for my account getting deleted and getting overall blacklisted/slandered in case one day someone decides they want to cancel me “for good” just because I’m annoying or an inconvenience. But I’m keeping an eye on these discussions about how people perceive/handle nsfw work.

Conclusion:

Waterfall is not bad for banning “aged up” nsfw content of underage characters as part of their ToS, and regardless: you have to respect the terms of their site if you decide to become a user anyways.

They’re probably still allowing nsfw content anyways! Find someone else fictional to lewd that canonically looks and actually is over 18!

the OP of that post is weird for how they express their dislike for Waterfall’s nsfw policy

I can say what I want on this post, but I’m truly not allowed to point fingers about fictional underage NSFW art, because I used to draw it and it’s part of what made me popular on this website

#I don't want anyone to leverage this conversation like ''OH YOU'RE A CREEP GOT IT!!!'' #the point is that I know better NOW #but I don't want to try and debate something when I have a guilty past too too l m a o #genderfluid-chameleon

[primeadv]

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :))) 

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life.  I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war.  So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL.  ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice.  ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle.  ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe.  In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him.  like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people.  HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved?  So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point?  I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it.  So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family.  And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years.  I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall).  My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol.  One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

[ramenrains]

Abt Powerhouse

[sassyhottubstrawberry-blog]

Best car insurance, in your opinion?

"Best car insurance, in your opinion?

I'm getting my car insured by myself for the first time and would appreciate any advice!!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Where is the cheapest place to get car insurance for a 17 year old male?

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Home Insurance Coverage In California?

We are new at purchasing the home insurance. (we plan to buy a house) We call the Progressive Insurance and request a quote for the house insurance And we also do some online quotes. All it cover basically the house part. We heard that they will cover the disability, life if spouse died the insurance gonna paid off the mortgage, unemployment they gonna paid for 1 year etc. Any idea or tips which insurance provide that? Thank You""

Massachusetts car insurance?

I recently heard that MA IS allowing competition with car insurance companies.. YAY! However, Geico and Allstate still don't provide insurance in the state. Progressive DOES. Does anyone else know of some GOOD, reputable (car) insurance companies in MA? THANKS! :-)""

Is it wrong to TTC without having medical insurance?

We've been married for more than 3 years now, I'm 27, we just bought a house and we both have decent jobs, we feel we're ready and is a good time in our lives (even though there's never a perfect time). The insurance issue is been stopping me from before, but I don't get it from my job and is very expensive to get it through his. Everyone says I automatically get medicaid, we don't make great money but we're not poor either, do we qualify? is it irresponsible from us to start without it? Also I'm a permanent resident, husband's american...I do pay taxes!""

What will the insurance be on a classic mustang in Texas?

Hello. Im about to get my first car, but i want a mustang. I am 16 yrs old. If u know the price leave a comment. Thanks""

What is the cheapest insurance if you have a DWI?

Transfering from Missouri where I have American Family. I am moving to Louisiana and American Family doesn't write there. I've only looked at progressive and they were pretty expensive, mass mutual wouldnt take an SR-22. Any suggestions?""

""Free/Cheap health insurance for low income in LONG ISLAND, NY?""

I am 19 years old and i go to school part time, so i am not able to get my moms insurance, and i also work but dont get insurance there either. I come from a low income family, so i ...show more""

How long is a quarter period in insurance?

My insurance says: Family coverage: $2,213 per quarter So how long is that? 3 months or what?""

GAP insurance with no Regular insurance?

I was in a wreck it want my fault,,the other party was sighted at the seen for making an unsafe left turn..I lapsed on my insurance for a week! His insurance is only going to pay ,5,000 for property damage..and I owe 22,000 on it,,,will the Gap Insurance I purchased thru the car company kick in at all?""

How much would i pay for car insurance?

How much would i pay for car Insurance for cheap car that cost me honda accord 2000,I am 28 Years old, never been in any accident,I got my license 8 years ago""

Named driver car insurance?

How much would it be for a 20 year old, 2 years passed, to be a named driver on a picanto 1 litre, with hastings direct, thanks""

About a car insurance..?

I've just got an instruction permit and wanna take a spin for the first time. But I'm concerned if it's ok to drive a car without my own insurance. The car is my mom's and I'm not sure the car itself is insured or she is.

How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old on a Mustang GT?

I work and I wanted to know how much will it cost we are currently on progressive insurance.

I need cheapest auto insurance?

I am 17 years old, and i need an auto insurance that costs around $100-150 per month. i cannot afford higher than that.""

Im 19 and need car insurance but im being quoted 9000 on a vauxhall corsa that's worth 500 any ideas?

basically most of the quotes im getting want me to pay 900 a month but the cars only worth 500 its a 1999 vauxhall corsa 1.2 does anyone know anyone that will even be reasonable with there pricing

I'm a first time driver and need an insurance company that is cheap! Any recomendations?

Passed my driving test today and I am looking for cheap insurance (like everyone else!) and I am hoping some wonderful people can help me out! I currently have a 1.25 ford fiesta from 2001. I am male, 17 years old and require my own policy. I appreciate any help :)""

Is proof of insurance required in California?

my accounting teacher challenged us and offered extra credit. He says liability insurance is not required in California and if i get pulled over and they ask for it, i can tell them that i'm only going to show license and registration and thats it. I can tell him legally i don't have to show proof of insurance. He was legitimate proof though. Help me prove him wrong please if he is indeed wrong. Thanks""

What is the cheapest car insurance in Minnesota?

I am a new driver, but I am 21 years old and my car is an old model ( Geo metro 1997)""

""Looking for a good first car, one with low insurance rates preferably?""

I just turned 16 and am currently in the market to buy a car. I am looking for something in the price range of around $2,000, possibly a small four cylinder pick up, or a japanese sedan. Does anyone have any sugestions for a good first car, and if any one has expeiriance with insurance can you tell me a price range of what I would be looking at for isurance, I have good grades and looking for a minnimum policy in Florida. Thanks if anyone can help me although I know I probably wont get much help with the insurance part.""

Is insurance required to buy a car?

I live in the state of Washington. I just turned 18 and obtained my driver's license. However, I have been driving for two years now without insurance and license :/ fortunately without any encounters with the law. Anyway, I want to buy my own car now, my first car, so I'm looking for something local on craigslist. My question is, is it required for one to have insurance in the state of Washington in order to buy a car? I've obviously never done this before so if you could explain how this works I would appreciate it. 1.) What exactly do I need to pay for besides the car? (license plates, registration?) and 2.) Do I need to have insurance? (or can I just pay the person for the car, get the paperwork, and it's done, because I can't afford insurance at the moment. Again I've never done this before). Thank you""

Best car insurance, in your opinion?

I'm getting my car insured by myself for the first time and would appreciate any advice!!

Car Insurance Problem Please Help!!!?

Hi everyone, somebody hit my car and drove off about 3 weeks ago. I phoned my insurance up and made a claim, the problem lies now on my son, who is the addtional driver and who hasnt been driving my car because he doesnt need to. The problem is that he has had drink driving conviction and no insurance conviction for about 3.5 years. Prudential my insurance company want to see my licence and his licence counterparts, BUT we completely forgot about the convictions etc. So now I have a problem where i think my insurance will be void but he doesnt drive the car nor was he involved in the accident. What happens now as they have requested both photocopies of our licences, is there a way out of this, thank you""

I need affordable health insurance! I need your advice.?

I'm a 23 year old male married to a 22 year old female. Both are struggling to make ends meet in school although we have been frugal in our savings. Lately I have felt impressed to purchase health insurance yet I haven't the slightest idea to begin. We both attend a University that offers a insurance policy - I'm not sure how reliable it is though - here is the link - http://www.usu.edu/health/insurance/ (click brochure). 4 and 1/2 years ago I began suffering from the effects of OCD. It's been a complected process for me and I have had to depend heavily on prescription medications. I also have concerns for my wife in the case that we conceive - we need to be able to afford bills that would come as a result of hospitalization. This is one of the limited options I have researched and I realize there are many people out there with vast experience in this field. Your professional experience or even experience you've gained from going through the same things would be greatly appreciated! Thank you

I live in CA and want to know How much $$$ to pay for insurance if i get a sports car?

I am getting my permit in 2 months and i am getting the Toyota MR2 Spyder. How much do i have to pay for the insurance? i heard that it costs more because its a sports car.

How much would car insurance be for a used 2006 subaru impreza 2.5i wagon or a used 2003-2004 honda civic ex

im turning 18 and im thinkin about buyin either a 2006 subaru impreza 2.5 wagon or a 2003-2004 honda civic i wanted to check how much they would cost for insurance for either one im 18 i live in california first time insured thanks very much

Is my insurance company responsible !?

I recently submitted a claim to my insurance company an it was rejected . At some point during some severe weather something struck our roof causing water to enter . The rain water caused the sheetrock ceiling to crack and start to collapse . We were told by our insurance provider that this was caused by a manufacturer defect . The manufacturer checked the damage and disagrees . I also disagree being that we have lived in the home for four years and this the first appearance of water . what should I do next ? I have already submitted statements from the manufacturer . The insurance company has also declined to renew our policy because of the damage .

Massachusetts Health insurance?

I am in fifties and currently living in California. Due to the California high cost of medical insurance, My wife and I are thinking of moving to Massachusetts state, get a small home there and retire there eventually. The reason that we are thinking about is that we overheard Massachusetts have a much lower health insurance cost ($50/month ?). Please advise us if you are currently living in Massachusetts state or other states that have less expensive health care insurance and housing cost. You advise is greatly appreciated. Jo""

Becoming car insured in Ontario?

Recently I just acquired my G2. I am an almost-17 year old male, and I wanted to try to clear up a few questions about insurance before going to get some quotes. Firstly, would it be possible for me to have my own separate policy? With my own car - that's how my dad wants it apparently... I know it would be expensive..but I would probably end up choosing only liability coverage. Secondly, would it be possible to somehow prove to the insurance company that I am more responsible than the average stereotypical 17 year old male in hopes of lowering insurance? For example, can high school marks play a factor? I've heard about something like this, although I don't know if it applies to our provincial policies. I know the other factors, such as having a 4 door used sedan, in-class driving course etc. can also help lower the cost. All help is appreciated, thanks!""

Does passing on shoulder make insurance go up?

If you get a ticket that accuses you of passing on the shoulder, would that add points to your record and make insurance go up like a speeding ticket?""

How much will my insurance go up?

Had an accident which insurance said its my fault both cars been write off third party cars worth 10k mine 6 k I pay 2 grand a year now how much will it go up at renewal?

Which of these is the correct Republican opposition to universal healthcare?

A. The government can't run anything right B. Government-run healthcare will be too successful, and private insurance companies won't be able to compete As with the Obama is simultaneously a Muslim, a Radical Black Christian, and Godless Communist argument, sooner or later you are going to have to pick one and go with it...at least in this place some of us like to call reality ...""

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

Can I rent a car without insurance in Texas?

I haven't had a car for awhile but manage to get around easily. However my main ride source goes out of town for a month on Tuesday. I booked a rental through Enterprise online for use until main ride returns. Having not owned a car for awhile, I have no insurance, so my question is: will enterprise still allow me the rental without having personal insurance? I know they have insurance to purchase at time of rental, but I need to know if I will be denied rental without my own insurance. Please know what your talking about and be sure of your answer! It's very frustrating when people who don't know the answer respond with inaccurate information.""

Will my car insurance go up if the accident is not my fault?

if i get into a car accident that is completely not my fault, and the other person pays for the damages through his insurance company, will my insurance premium go up too? thx!""

Can I drive my new used car without insurance for 30 days?

I just bought a new used car today. I have insurance on my old car still (in my mom's name). Does that insurance cover my new car (in my name) for a bit do you think? Or should I just not drive it at all until i get it insured?

Is motorcycle insurance manditory in california?

if you own the bike?

Why is michigan car insurance so high?

I am a 21 year old female with no little credit but I have no bad credit. I rent an apartment and pay all my bills on time. I have a 2004 monte carlo ss that I paid 3500 for. This is ...show more

Emancipated 16 year old car insurance help?

I am currently living with my parents and am soon to be emancipated. I was looking at some geico quotes, turned out for minimal coverage was 475$ per month. This was outragous and obviously way to much for any one to be able to afford. To have the type of coverage i would like was 10,000$ per year, the numbers were staggering. Anyway my question is it possible to get insurance at 16 years old on your own for a resonable price. If so with what car insurance company. I have a 3.0 and a perfect driving record, i do drive a camero z28 so i understand its going to be a little higher than average.... thanks, zach""

Approximately how much will my auto insurance go down?

I have always been told that when I turn 25 my auto insurance should decrease significantly, I was wondering if someone can give me an idea or (if you dont mind) let me know what you were paying <25 and what your paying now at 25>. As of now I am paying $350 a month for full coverage on two vehicles (with two speeding tickets on my record at the moment at 23 years old, one will definitely be off by 25, the other one will be close, (assuming I get no more) I am going through Farmers Insurance. Does anyone have a rough idea of what I have to look forward to my 25th Birthday as a subnote I know this is being planned much ahead of time, me and the lady are considering moving out of our apartment, I want to have a very thorough knowledge of what my financial future will look like before pulling the trigger on anything. Expect wthin the year posts from me on moving business =D All constructive answers are appreciated.""

Periodontal Insurance in Iowa?

I have major gum resession and I need a transplant, which means I need to visit a peridontist. Problem is, I can't find one in Iowa that takes my insurance. (Hawk-i) I really need the surgery and I've been searching for months and haven't had any luck. Please, someone help me out, please.""

State Disability Insurance in California?

I was laid off in December (company went under) and in March I got pregnant. I have not found a permanent job and at this point am not going to try - who's going to hire a pregnant woman, right? I am receiving unemployment which will be running out in a few weeks and I'm thinking about working for a temp agency until the baby is born to bring in some money. Does anyone know if I am working temp can I collect State Disability Insurance once the doctor tells me no more working? I'm really pissed...worked all those years and now I may not be able to collect through no fault of my own. Any help is appreciated. I think if I'm not working at all I can't collect but not sure. Thanks.""

""Could $5,000 cover the healthcare insurance premium for a family?""

If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the heck out of it? Obviously, it won't have all the bells and whistles, but people would be covered. There is the issue of the tax on the premium, but it still seems like a good idea. This link was interesting - it describes both plans clearly: http://money.cnn.com/2008/03/10/news/economy/tully_healthcare.fortune/""

Why are insurance companies getting blamed for dropping coverage?

when it was because of the regulations in the patient protection and affordable care act that ended these plans?

I have Kansas Progressive Auto insurance. Will my insurance drop when I turn 25? And if so approx how much?

Any answers pertaining to age 25 &/or the state of KS is helpful. I can't find anything on Progressive relating to age & insurance rates. Thanks!

Dollar general insurance rates. are we getting screwed?

how much would a manager at dollar general have to pay for comany insurance? 3 children covered, no heath probems. living in missouri i think my fiance is getting screwd by his ex wife and i think he is paying for her on the insurance with the boys. he pays an extra 300 a month suposedly just for the boys insurance. please help!""

Insulin and car insurance?

a friend of mine has just been put onto insulin, will this effect the cost of her car insurance?""

Best car insurance, in your opinion?

I'm getting my car insured by myself for the first time and would appreciate any advice!!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-does-cost-become-driver-uk-lurdes-beach"

[vixen-vangogh]

polyvore was being a pain in the ass no matter how many words i tried to censor so here’s the life update i meant to put in that set

- have been living in a somewhat stable housing environment for almost a year and four-ish months now which is WILD and a huge record break for me.

- kind of have a partner? we're def QPPs and have been nomadic vagabond companions since like 2015 and have been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, making life plans together hardcore since then. when i try to explain our relationship to others i explain that we are like Bert and Ernie from sesame street. it's not romantic but it's definitely a very serious thing and there is nothing i could forsee that would face our future that would not be faced together as companions. i was kind of chatting with a buddy the other day who was asking abt stuff and i was mentioning how an aphobe asked, 'how is this different from a best friendship, why do you need to call it a queerplatonic relationship?' and my instinct was to be all, 'well idk i mean i think most best friends don't stick their tongues in each others mouths' but like that said, some best friends do that and its totally legit but the main difference is we call it this because it is more accurate to the intricacies of our relationship.

a best friendship implies different things and a QPR is what we have been calling ourselves for some time.

- have come across the term alterous attraction many many moons ago and have concluded that more or less, this has been the basis for all the experiences of 'attraction' i have thought i felt in other categories. turns out i just love being pro/miscuous and cuddly and affectionate with people and it doesn't necessarily have to have any of the other attractions present. it's just an expression of my alterous attraction. and idk it just seems to make way more sense. someone said it was a commonplace for pre-questioning lesbians to make up to themselves crushes on boys with calculations involved about why this person is attractive.

i think maybe i do experience other forms of attraction but they're seldom enough that it's more anecdotal. and i'm going to call them crushes anyway bc it doesn't matter what i say or do - people are going to be confused by me and who i am and i shouldn't have to sacrifice the nuances involved in who i am and how i live my life to try and get smaller minds to understand it.

and nobody has to understand either. i don't even understand. that's heckin ok bro

- i've been on them 'ro/ids (testosterone) on and off for three months in spring/summer 2016 (androderm) and then the injections for some amount of time this year and there's been a lot of body changes. but mainly i'm looking at nu/des of other people on hormones and realizing like... what if I'm actually inters/ex? it makes no sense for my di/ck to be bigger than people a year on hormones in half the time, does it? like what's up there? and my body is signif hairier in a way that is noticeable to me and my QPP.

last week when I got the inje/ctio/n the nurse (who is a really nice lady? like smiley very friendly maternal type) asked me "how did you know?" without other context or anything.

I didn't really know how to begin because honestly no one had ever asked me that before and it's the one question I needed somebody else to answer back when I was like, 15/recently 16 and needed help finding myself. I wished future me could visit past me and tell me like, "hey jsyk this is what you concluded, here's the answers, and here's all the stuff I've realized about our past experiences that were actually Signs that you're #genderqueer"

and I think, another thing, I wish I could have told the past me, that the laws were going to rapidly change in my lifetime, and also to avoid any cis person who suggests therapy "for hormone starts" because that's what led me to like, 2 years of rather unhelpful talk therapy that turned into lowkey conversion therapy.

No one should ever make you write a sob story about your past before they allow you the autonomy to make decisions about your body.

I gave a little backstory of timeline and told her how my mom kept saying things like, "why are you so offended at the idea of being a woman?" etc and how we don't speak anymore, how I came out in 2011 and every day for the longest time I had to explain to other trans people who the heck I was. how my nonbinaryness was seen more as a delusion despite the fact that I found the wikipedia pages and message boards and I knew there were other people like me out there. I didn't know of another #nonbinary person until 2013 and even then I only met them in passing at a panel they hosted. (we ended up roommates for a bit around 2016 but that's another story)

I stopped having to give #genderqueer 101s to the LGBT+ community around 2014.

And I feel like after that Laverne Cox paved a lot of way for us, and Facebook started putting other genders on there (which I'd signed petitions for years before and considered to be a hoop dream)

and there's been corrective r/a/pe I've gone through and so many tears I've cried and sui/cide attempted and hospital visits

and things are definitely still horrific and I can never afford groceries. I don't eat enough to sustain myself and live on welfare and am too medicated and disabled to work and have tachycardia and PTSD and other complications of my own forced resilience

but I'm on testosterone or whatever and I look at the changes that have gone on and I know that I was a part of that

but I'm never going to get credit for it and it pains me how much I'm suffering because I started advocating earlier than the majority of trans people out today.

if I had come out to my mom years later, would we be speaking?

it doesn't ultimately matter, because if we kept speaking I still would have ended up d/ead. coming out and having her react like that, topped with her steal/ing from me when I was homeless, years of sui/cide baiting, physical + emotional + etc a/buse my whole life, it's miraculous I ever made it out alive

it's so painful but I just have never had the privilege of choice.

- I've been thinking to go back to school maybe and that I need to actually go at it full force with passion because I think I have gotten way too down on myself for the results that have come from my own halfa/ssery of it all. And my own procrastination etc.

I wish I had access to medical care as a child or counselling or something more than I ever did have because maybe I would have excelled in school instead of suffered to try and keep my head above water. I mean, I graduated honours (equivalent).

there's too much about my life to be angsty about.

- also idk if i mentioned this but i got ar/rested for protecting indigenous folks at a thing and it was in the news and im not going to talk much more on it bc of privacy but i'm happy to dig up the video of the pol/ice dragging me away and the crowd shouting (and gendering me right ;u;) "LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO" and i was a pathetic mess thru the whole thing and just had the wrong emotions the whole time and like 3+ reporters tried to get a hold of me for interview but I forwarded them to the indigenous leaders of the ceremony instead

we prayed inside the arre/st tent and put down tobacc/o and held ceremony and the c/ops were horrible and took so much personal offence to everything we were and every reality that happened that they wanted to deny. they banned us from the public land we were arrested on and it was horrible.

it was in the news and justin tr*deau showed up for a photo op and the organizers weren't allowed in their own tipi. he wasn't invited.

those with the land claim to the area made an official statement welcoming us and condemning the go/vernme/nt for arrestin/g us.

nothing was ever done about that bit other than them releasing us and i went to the hospital the next day to get my wrist checked because i couldn't really use it and the handcuf/f bruises and the bruise on my knee was massive. it's been two months and it's only now faded.

twitter blocked the image of us in the a/rrest tent holding hands in prayer with the hand/cuffs on our wrists. they said it contained "sensitive content"

tumblr did the same, calling it "NSFW" (weird bc literally photographs of my actual na/ked body with links to where u can buy videos of me jerkin is not labelled NS/FW automatically lol?????)

i asked tumblr to review that and they still labelled it as such.

it's just so blatantly a genuine broach of free speech and freedom of religion. it was a crimi/nalized religious ceremony and i got between the co/ps and a woman praying.

- i saw Against Me! in march and the mosh pit was extreme and I fell down at some point and like seven people pulled me up and that and the getting arre/sted thing has really hecked up my knees ! i feel like they're mostly healed since but i've not even been kneeling on my mattress for even a second to make sure of this. otherwise it's just been sudden pain for months but as i said, i think they're a lot better now.

- i came forward abt a pr/edatory ex and a few others of their victims came to me to say that they had gone through the same and that they were even more pre/datory than had been with me. i lost quite a lot of friends in the matter bc what i accused them of was extremely serious and came across as vicious on my part.

i'm going to take it as alright though, because i know that i've put what i said out there, and if they have read it at all, they can at least have these ideas in their mind going forward and take precautions. this ex was confronted publically and directly on social media about it and there were several witnesses and screenshots i had to things they did and said. i'm hoping that serves as some kind of warning for them, about their actions that they have confessed to with several people, and how these things will come back for them. that they cannot evade accountability, that i am a force of nature and if you wrong me or do a wrong in my witness with no remorse on your part or apology, i'm not going to let you live it down.

i care and i am tired of hearing horrible stories about them from others. others who came to me saying that i had been painted as an abus/er. because i know ! people see me standing up for myself as threatening all the time. they worry they aren't allowed to make mistakes around me.

no matter how many times i say it or prove it, there's always those people who are too cowardly to admit when they do make mistakes and who go to great lengths to protect their pride and entitlement.

i know we are all growing. i seek environments of mutual support and growth. i am now in a phase of life where i am not giving the time to people who have no interest in these environments. anyone can be my friend, if they are ready for it. but i don't owe it to anybody and anything wrong i have done i am at a point where i feel like i am in touch with my own humility.

and if someone tries to milk it because they think my vulnerability isn't also strength and something that comes with at least some ferocity... well, that's not my problem.

- my rabbit Snicklefritz is doing fine. he's shedding like the dickens this season and mischievous as usual but hopefully one day I can afford to make him an enclosure again and I can let him out only when I can keep track of him.

he's ruined a lot of sketchbooks and a lapdesk my QPP got me for the winter holidays that we are both heartbroken about.

- I am trying to become less attached to material belongings and it has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with all the sentimental items left with my mother or in the various times I've been homeless or left exes etc over the years.

My memories are in my heart and not something that needs to be placed externally, in an item.

Have also trying to go zero waste (like, becoming someone who produces no garbage, just recycling and compost) and it's really been noticeable all these small differences. I buy way more bananas, lettuce, etc. And I've been making bread and spaghetti and whatnot and having windowsill gardens.

- I'm not cured of anything or whatever and I'm angsty 24/7 and broke as heckaroo but there's enough of The Little Things In Life (gardening, youtube videos, kisses, etc) to help me get by in the meantime.

- three days ago a friend (who I consider(ed) chosen family) I had purposefully cut out of my life a year ago showed up on my doorstep to tell me I was right about everything and to apologize for all the wrongs. That they reread conversations we had around then and that they have grown and grown into a better place. They were 18 then and 19 now. We were from the same hometown and they're still there but moving to my city in December. I missed them so much and they stayed with me a few days. I feel a bigger sense of home in this city knowing they're going to live here soon too.

- I've been Really Intensely looking thru my DNA and geneology stuff since last winter. For some reason Indian (like, South Asia) shows up in my DNA and some southern Europe/Northern Africa/Middle East kind of region. My father was adopted via a stepdad and I figure this comes from his bio dad. Or maybe it doesn't, I don't really know. My maternal haplotype is supposed to be one that's generally found in African populations which throws that whole theory. My mom and me also had to use hair picks (afro picks) when I was growing up because our hair was so naturally thick and the waves really tangled up. Every time we went to get my hair cut in that white rural town the hairdressers would comment how they'd never seen such thick hair before etc. I'm still struggling greatly to find answers because everybody's last name is phoenetically weird except for my dad's mom's line which has an extremely Cornwall last name and anyone with that name is definitely part of that family.

Doing research to find what I was told growing up (that I was Kanien'keha:ka via my maternal grandmother's grandmother) has been very difficult because I'm not sure which grandmother of hers it was, and one of them seemed to remarry several times and I cannot be sure of any of the surnames being a maiden name. It's also really hard to know what the spelling was supposed to be because it was written phoenetically. But I think that one's likely English anyway. The other one I haven't reached yet but my grandmother's father's father seemed to be from a Metis community outside a reserve where I remember being told we had ancestors. It seems we're descendants of some really famous anglo Metis folk. I've not figured out the specific links to lock the names all into place properly in my family tree but it's the surname and the small community that are an exact match and on the message boards.

It's a lot to think about. I've been struggling with my racial identity for a long time and regardless of nuances and ethnic identity I feel like I'm just doing this research to seem special or more interesting or to branch out my activism. DNA is not ever going to tell me who my ancestors were, just the locations a small handful of random specific ancestors lived. Family trees are going to help, but they're not going to help me too much as someone who doesn't actually have blood family I'm in contact with really.

I might see if I can get in touch with an older cousin I have on Pinterest because she seemed to be the only one (besides my younger cousin) who really ever sent me vaguely kind gestures after I came out. She was the only one who seemed to be supportive when I did my grandma's eulogy. (Aside from my sibling who went up with me. But I don't speak to my sibling for other reasons.)

I have a paternal cousin as well but we're more half-cousins as my dad's mom had a few different men in her life and I don't actually know if he does have full bio-siblings. I don't really know if it's worth it to reach out to her because with all the technicalities and separations and adoptions and half-relatives I don't know whether I can ask her to ask around, or if I can just ask her, or what.

Anyway whatever it's just easiest to explain my ethnicity as being Metis because talking with others and stuff it seems like maybe this is the best way to label myself, to explain my complicated history and acknowledge that my blood ties are not what makes me me, but rather my ethnic ties. I have traditions and beliefs and ancestors I'm reconnecting with and trying to find.

Not all my ancestors were great people. But it is interesting as heck to learn about them. (Especially seeing pictures and some of the weirder resemblances from like, 5th great grandparents.)

Also one of my greats of grandparents crossed the US-Canada border several times in his life and near the end of them the border agent wrote "seems odd" on the thing and I haven't found any explanation for why he was crossing the border either lol which is pretty dang interesting imo.

- anyway idk I think I'm good ?? have been getting a lot of new interests and hobbies lately which feels good, feels right

i'm getting muscles because of them hormones and probably eating healthier or whatever and drinking more water and just livin life as best i can

could use some more dollars however but what can u do when welfare doesn't go up to match minimum costs of living haha :)