#hold on while i just go sob for a while

[youareunbearable]

I might not do anything with this BUT I've been thinking about the Shadow of Mordor games again and how FUN would it be if Sauron did that but instead of bringing back Celebrimbor he uses his necromancy magic to bring back Maedhros

An imposingly tall figure, all done up in Sauron's spikey black armor, instead of his mace there is a wicked black blade where a right hand should be. He roams at the front of the Nazgul, blade at the ready as the other holds the reigns to a monstrous horse

People are terrified, thinking that Sauron himself is roaming the wilds, he stalks the Fellowship, nothing seems to stop him only delay him. Gandalf isn't sure its Sauron himself, but something about him under all that twisted and dark and evil song sings pure, like a dull flicker of white flame, like a weak candle.

When Boromir dies, that figure is with the orcs, it isnt the one to slay Boromir, but turns away and it seems to know where the ring is. The orcs are too focused on Merry and Pipin to follow the Figure, but he walks off. He stands on the shores as Frodo and Sam shiver in the Swan boat, but it does nothing but watch them as they sail off. It makes no motion to follow them or attack their small boat, just watch transfixed. Sam makes a comment that it looks like the Figure's armor makes it almost like it has a metal collar around its neck and cuffs on its wrists

During the battle of Helm's Deep, that Figure is back again, silently leading the siege. At one point, an Elven arrow hits the Figure's helm, knocking it a little loose and from under the helm tumbles a single red lock of hair. Its so red that almost looks like a smoldering flame. Haldir, who lives with the survivors of Doriath, sees that red hair, that tall stature, the handless right wrist and pales. While he wasn't there to witness the destruction of Doriath, he has heard the tales, he knows about the red haired monster that haunts the memories of the Sindar, and he knows what that Figure is capable of. Luckily, that Figure manages to catch a glimpse of Aragorn, and Freezes once again, a single stone that cuts through the rushing current of orcs all around him. Haldir doesn't see it again, but then again, Haldir doesn't see much of anything again.

(The Figure sees Gandalf on the hill, arriving with the dawn and reinforcments and it grieves, something in it breaks all over again but the magic puppeting its moves doesn't allow it to dwell. The helm is readjusted and the hair is tucked away and the Figure turns and leaves the battlefield. Its being summonded somewhere else.)

The war rages on, the Witch King is dead, but so is King Theoden. The Figure is trapped, the right wrist is pinned under the corpse of an oliphant and Elrond's sons watch as the Figure struggles before lying still. It's clearly not dead, but realizing it's trapped.

Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli join the twins. Gimli offers to thrust his axe in its chest, Legolas insists that he can shoot through its eye from a safer distance. Aragorn, who heard Haldir's frantic pleas during his final moments, just observes the Figure.

He notices the strange collar, how it clearly has cuffs on its wrist and feet, like it used to be shackled and chained.

"Can you speak?" He asks it.

The Figure does nothing but turn its helm towards Aragorn. They stare at each other for a few tense moments.

One of the twins, Aragorn still isn't fully sure which one, approches the Figure slowly. The Figure's helm is still directed at Aragorn.

"It feels familiar." The one twin whispers, voice raw from exertion. "It has a fea, it feels warm."

"Like uncle Erestor. Or Lindir." The other twin agrees.

The Figure turns its helm towards the twins at the mention of Erestor. The twin closest to the Figure, quick as an adder, jabs a polearm at the Figure's helm.

It snaps back, the helm tumbling off the Figure's head and those smoldering red locks fan out around the head, obscuring the face from view.

Even without seeing the face it's clearly an Elf. An abused one at that if one just looks at the notches missing from it's pointed ears. The polearm is back, nudging under where a chin should be to lift the face.

First, all that is seen is scars. So many that pull the once handsome face, for even under all its marring one can tell from the bone structure that this was a face that could launch a thousand ships, into a grotesque manner. But it is the eyes, the eyes that makes everyone suck in a breath.

These eyes glow, they glow with power, with light never been seen before, or well, haven't been seen in Ages. These grey eyes glow with the reflected light of the Two Trees, long since felled.

"Oh, Maitimo," Gandalf, who had wandered up the the group, sighed with tremendous sorrow. "What has become of you?"

Maitimo, or Maedhros as those in the Third Age know him as, tries to speak. His lips move, which brings attention to the fact that they are loosely sewn together with a black cord that seems to pull and ooze blood, never letting the wounds heal. His voice croaks, dry with misuse, but he manages a sound, a breath, perphaps even a word. Each syllable like a dying wheeze. He repeats the sound, again and again, almost becoming frantic with his wheezing chants, blood spilling down his chin from the threads, until it's understandable.

"Necromancer."

#amber rambles #silmarillion #maedhros #maitimo #silm fic #Iotr #I personally think it would be Fun and Seasonal if Mae becomes a zombie puppet for Sauron #like I already think that because of the Oath and because of his time with Morgoth and Sauron he wouldnt be able to die or hear Mandos Call #And I think Sauron would be a petty bitch enough to bring back Mae as a fun little HaHa Deal With THIS Emotional Trauma Elrond U Ass #I couldnt decide if I wanted Mae to deal with Aragorn and the fellowship or with frodo and sam but I figured if hes being puppeted #he would go after aragorn HOWEVER a fun little alternative i have #is that he goes after frodo and sam and they end up in Shelobs cave and Mae is gonna kill the hobbits but the Liquid Starlight #snaps some of his Sauron Mind Control off and activates his Omg Oath!! brain and he fights Shelob off the hobbits to grab it #and he knows he cant grab the vial cause hes Literally a figure of evil now but he just sits there and stares at it #and Little Sam goes up to him slowly and asks #If you want that vial i can help you but you must not hurt Mr Frodo anymore do you promise? #And Mae nods his head. promising. #so Sam cuts off a corner of his cloak and wraps the vial in it and hands it over to Mae who just hold the cloth bundle and begins to shake #he sobs. big wheezes and moans that cant make it past his sewn lips but he tries and Sam runs off to save Frodo while he does that #Then once gollum tosses himself and the ring into the lava and the world is crumbling around them Mae appears in the cave opening #to scoop up the tired hobbits and carry them to safety not caring about lava chasing after them. He collapses once the eagels come #Sam tries to get them to take Mae as well. But they dont and he screams and Mae just takes off his helm and smiles #He holds up the wrapped vial in his hand and with his bladed hand he cuts through the threads on his lips and shouts up to the sky #Thank You! A New Dawn Shall Rise!! and the eagles fly higher and farther and sam cant see it but he knows the lava swallowed him up #and a new dawn does rise. It rises on a new Age with a new king and a wedding and painful goodbyes and a new beginning

[indecisive-dizzy]

Share any Julie and Frank ideas you have :)

I’d like to hear them :D

sobbs ok I can't be coherent but I'll try

they cuddle so dang much,,,, like Eddie has to wait his turn

just finished a game? cuddles n tea

had lunch together? cuddle time bby

Frank's just tired and overwhelmed? feel better cuddles!

Julie's having a not great day? super cuddles.

these two can Not be in the same room without being either next to each other or on top on each other. Julie is only the Only people who can surprise hug Frank and they won't get upset. (Eddie can too, after they get together hehe)

they're both just so physically affectionate with each other. hugs, cuddles, hand holding. that cheek kiss thing french people do on tv.

Frank's calls Julie their Jewel. In my head at least. it's perfect, bc she is. Eddie is their Dear, Julie is their Jewel.

Julie is the only one to get away with calling them Frankie so often. Frank will occasionally tolerate it from others, but Julie is only one who Really gets away with it imo

They just love each other so much,,, Julie thinks Frank is funny,, I keep thinking of Two (2) things.

Barnaby's line: "A sense of humor only Frank could love"

I think Clown said that Frank and Julie would both write "Frank" on the funniest neighbor question from the worksheet.

These tidbits make me Weak. Maybe no one understands Frank and Julie's humor, or it's just terrible, but they think the other is funny. That means so much to me,,, sobs

They are so incredibly close that they Get each others humor even if makes No sense. I want a friend like that sniff

I think they can just look at each other and know how the other is feeling. Frank is so calm around Julie's wild antics that the other la probably think he doesn't even notice it. They do, they're just letting Julie have fun.

Also Frank has a somewhat wild side too and I love the idea of Julie bringing it out. They go bug hunting and Frank ends up 20ft off the ground in a tree having the time of their life. They get back and the two of them are covered in dirt, sticks, leaves, etc and they're holding hands and laughing and smiling and- Im just,,, sobbsss sobbing on the floor

wait I mentioned Eddie earlier hold on ok.

Eddie loves Frank and Julie's friendship. He's so happy to see them being happy together and having such a great time. I feel like Frank may have been worried about Eddie getting,, "jealous" ? over their friendship with Julie. But he isn't and he makes that very clear.

Eddie would end up getting closer to Julie and they become really good friends, I'm sure they've had their own cuddles at some point lol. Julie has that effect on people.

so now it's just,, all three of them in a cuddle pile in Frank's living room. Frank in the middle surrounded by his best friend and partner. sigh what a dream

cough this is getting long I think,,, and was complete nonsense. but just,,, Them! Frank and Julie. Julie and Frank. Inseparable besties. The champions of platonic cuddles and physical affection.

#wailing in the club rn #holds them gently #the ideal friendship #they are everything to me #literally thank u so much for this ask #ik it made no sense but im very tired rn #one thing i didn't mention/ramble about #the one audio where they're talking #and playfully talk about each others noses #nose like an orange #banana on his face #yeah i love them for that #they're just so playful with each other! #and giggly #while im over here sobbing at how cute they are #im going to chug some caffeine now #and play pokemon #maybe I'll think about them more who knows #welcome home #frank frankly #julie joyful #eddie dear #brief eddie appearance but he is here! #dizztalkstoomuch #neon child

[wirt-and-wirt-by-products]

Yall,,,,,,,,,, im modding my pc copy of p4g to hell and back bc ive finished the game 3 times and homies,,,,,, some of the comments on these mods are sending me.

(On the gay romance mod) "this mod is incredibly creepy, this chara is a minor and we shouldnt be modding in dating options for them. Probably best to report this"

Bruh. One its cut content still in the game files, and just made active again. Two look me in the eyes and tell me word for word what the canon lovers romance flag is. Tell me exactly how the 16yr old protag starts dating rise. Ill wait.

#im just gonna send this out into thw wild without tags and hope no one cancels me #to any of my followers who care #its been a while since i played so i dont remember exactly why shes bawling #i think bc she decided she did wanna go back to showbiz but her movie role was replaced by a competitor #anywho she is sobbing buckets #and the protag can either hug her or stand there like a fucking clown and let her cry publically at the steak skewer place #i didnt realize thats the romance flag so i went #my protag isnt going to be an asshole so im going to comfort her and give her a hug #and then the romance flag pinged #note i was trying for yukiko or chie at the time but that cancelled that #my boy is not a two timer #but yeah our bestie that we fished out of the garbage telling us that were special to him and that he wants to hold our hand CANNOT #be worse than that #maybe after i mod all this ill finish my aa playthrough #my switch copy is just sitting there and i feel bad since a few of my mutuals love it and i feel like it too could take over my head hole #but souyo has owned my entire ass for the past 4 years so alas im gonna put another 200hrs into a 60hr game

[dandyshucks]

both of them thinking "you're too good for me" and yet loving the other one with everything they've got

#AUGH. i am losing grip on my words rn but. smth abt this. makes me go crazy every time #mirroring each others love while still feeling doomed and unloveable... both of them struggling but holding the other up #a perfect balancing act of love and support all while being convinced the other should just let them fall #loving the other bc they want to and bc they dont know how not to. all while being convinced they're undeserving of it being reciprocated #yelling and sobbing and banging my fist on the ground DBHFKDLD #dandy.cmd #💜so good at being in trouble #💜a boy and his bug🪲 #junebug 🪲

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

forcing myself to leave the house because i need to pull myself together somehow and i know i'm too socially awkward to cry in public 👍

#broke down sobbing this morning while i was waiting for my coffee to brew #like bitch seriously this has to STOP #so now i'm at a café valiantly holding back my tears #might go see a movie or two #told my flatmate last night and she just said ''ah that sucks'' #gonna have to tell my dad tomorrow which i'm not looking forward to #GOD #🧃

[everymadara]

Chapter 623

#naruto #madara #madara uchiha #uchiha madara #hashirama flashback #+ hashirama #baby Madara... baby Madara...... *sobs* #yes baby you're really strong and talented we know and we love you #Also ''and cover many weaknesses''. On all levels except literal Madara is going into any situation he encounters holding a rifle and #wearing an iron-plated hazmat suit. #The fact that he grows so powerful he begins not to need it much anymore probably contributes to how full of himself he is lol. #You're a ninja which is a job in which you have to be so exceedingly careful and guarded at all times and he's deeply internalized this. An #he's also so powerful he can often afford to throw caution to the wind more often than most people he meets. I'd start thinking I was God #too tbh. #I'm being so much wordier in the tags of these flashbacks than I've ever been in most of the blog lmao #It's so much easier though bc it's easier to have takes about Madara while he's still in development than to talk about what he's like at #his final stage. Madara revived in the War Arc is just a natural conclusion of everything that's started here and I find it more fun to tal #about the ''how he got there'' rather than the ''there''.

[robinsnest2111]

oh the mommy issues are very loud tonight oops

#casually remembered when my mental issues started from all the bullying #all i wanted was a hug and asked my mother for one while i was sobbing like mad #and all she said was: only people who deserve hugs get them. in such an angry tone #i just stood there sobbing #and idk why but remembering that makes me wanna yell and punish my younger self BUT THAT'D BE SO EVIL #i didn't do anything wrong why do i want to yell at myself to shut up and go away????? #i usually wanna hold and comfort my younger self because no one else ever did #why am i suddenly so mad at younger me

[singsweetmelodies]

it’s not exactly a kink but i wish you would (hehe) piarles as that taylor swift line ‘i want to wear his initials on a chain around my neck not because he owns me, because he really knows me’ but make it (more) kinky

it is my dream 🥵🥵

oh my god ANON!!! firstly - I LOVE YOU for recognising my little TS reference with my tag for this game 🤭🥰 legend!! and secondly... BESTIE. bestie. hell to the fucking yeah?! i have always loved that lyric, and now that you mention it, IT FITS WITH THEM SO WELL AND I AM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG AND *NOT* THINK ABOUT THIS NOW. god. GOD. do i have the time to write this? absolutely not. am i going to be daydreaming about it for weeks anyway? you bet ❤️

#asks & answers #anon #ask game #i wish you would (the kinky fic version) #🦑🏎️ piarles #*head in hands* I AM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT NOW THANKS #i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck... CHARLES WEARING PIERRE'S INITIAL AS RELIGIOUSLY AS PIERRE WEARS HIS CROSS #possessive pierre tangling the chain in his fist while he fucks into charles... 'you are *mine*...' #(and yes; i know the line says 'NOT because he owns me.' 😆🙈 that would be part 2 of the fic) #(focused on aftercare... pierre knowing exactly what charles needs after sex... talking to him softly... holding him... #... making him laugh exhaustedly... curled up together; sweaty and gross but neither of them care...) #just. the FAMILIARITY #to complement the possessiveness #and that's THE most piarles thing ever; isn't it? 'i want to wear his initial... because he really knows me' #SOB. never recovering from this one actually #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️💙

[figgyblossom]

When u make a really plan for the next couple days before bed and go to sleep feeling accomplished and like maybe you're capable enough to get through the next few days in a relatively "successful" way and then your eyes open the next morning and it's like the breaking of the damn at isengard and a river of emotions and thoughts that you do Not have neither the time nor space to fight thru crash into your brain and once you finally get through the initial deluge and pull yourself from bed determined to regroup so your whole day is not lost or weighed down by the weigh of it all you make yourself a cup of coffee and go to sit in the fresh air of the outside to consume it and spill the entire mug on the ground because sometimes your wrist and fingers Just Don't Work

#anyway crying sobbing regrouping making a list to prepare for a day already altered from plan giving u a whole hour less for your morning #while trying to restrain the cptsd initiated autistically woven memories and emotions that have been harassing me all morning #like yeah i feel like im never going to exist correctly for other people while also feeling that actually being true to myself will get me #rejected from my family but also we have like a 12hr day ahead of us including a huge new experience that will be #exciting but also now the anxiety is ramped up to 20327748% and i cant hold on to anything and im tired of surpressing all my feelings #just to get thru another day #i cannot mourn the world i have things to do #jfc #anyway

[tennis-kittens]

#yeah that's the fact that Roger started to lose it with his nose burried in John's shoulder for me #john holding him with both arms and giving him gentle pat in the back... #no matter how grumpy he pretends to be he's just as soft as his nordic husband #also i think that fedole hug in the 1st gif doesn't get the appreciation it deserves #like Novak is holding him so tight i'm sobbing #also Matteo trying to pull out of the hug just to be pulled back in by Novak i- #Roger really didn't want to let go off him i can't #Roger be like 'bring it in kid. Closer. That's it. Now we're gonna stay like this until i get my shit together which might take a while' #emotional support italian stallion #Also Frances standing there ready for a hug and Roger not seeing him MY POOR HEART 😭😭😭 #He just didn't see him through the tears... #laver cup #roger federer #novak djokovic #matteo berrettini #bjorn borg #john mcenroe #tennis

[weenhands]

.

#vent #i havent really been able to sob in awhile and i think tonight was just another breaking point #im so emotionally numb and devoid of emotions so i end up really sobbing every few weeks #when normally i would be crying almost everyday if i could properly respond to the hell i feel like im experiencing all the time #idk. i sort of spiralled and i ended up thinking about what it would be like to just cry in my moms embrace #and maybe not even actually say word for word how i feel #im trying to just cry quietly so my parents dont hear but in my head my mom knows why and she understands and shes holding me and telling me #its going to be okay.....i dont trust her with anything but i just wish i had her reassurance specifically. #ive been off these past few years to them because of how bad my anxiety and depression have been #and i think i find comfort in giving my parents that closure of whats really going on....while also having them hold and protect me #like they used too #i switch my stuffed animals to hold depending on my current situation and mom gave me this stuffed animal to hold when i just Want her #she gave it to me randomly and i havent felt so bad where i had to reach for him in probably years #so im just holding him now. i dont wanna put my other one that i was holding before in the box of my other stuffies #cause im not used to seeing him there yet idk hes used to the bed #im probably gonna delete this soon cause just writing all of this down sorta calmed me down #im just really sick of my head and i feel like im thinking really bad thoughts again

[piplupod]

(can i please get a waffle voice): can i PLEASE having a coping mechanism that doesnt turn maladaptive. can i PLEAAASE have just one !!! i am Begging you, on my hands and knees !!!!! AUGH

#tfw your coping mechanism detaches you from reality and now you're watching yourself warily to make sure u dont fall into That Pit again #skirting around the edge and unhooking my claws from the coping mechanism and holding it gingerly with the tips of my fingers #praying i do not have to put it down entirely. because man..... its slim pickings around here for shit that actually Works fhfjdkl #the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it. #or else Bad Shit happens. that i don't especially want to experience again fhdjdkdl #it'd be so cool to have a brain that didnt do this. so i could just freely la-dee-da along with fun things #instead of the fun things turning Bad bc they went too far fjfkdl #or having to keep a very close eye on myself when i get into new things bc i can see they have the potential to go badly for Me w my brain #sobbing forever honestly. i feel awful. this sucks shit. im trying to be funny about it to cope but im Upset fjfjddkl #im so sick of this type of thing fjdkdl I wish i could just like... be okay. for a while. without it going badly like this fjfkfl #i thought maybe i was on the up finally but nooooo it's just bc i was getting too far from holding onto reality properly #god i hate this pattern. im so fucking angry w it tbh fjfkfl i cannot believe i let myself think this was going to be different fjfkfl #but anyways!! onwards we march and hopefully i figure smth out fjfkdl im uhhhh very tired #going to crawl into bed at the ripe time of 8:30pm and just go listen to music and draw or smth idk fjfkfl this is frustrating #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[puppyeared]

!!! i always love seeing doodles of your ocs and reading the tags ab their silly little storys theyre all incredebly deliughtfull even though i cant rember anyones name but everytime the shadow guy and pink puppy show up im like!!! aww hell yeahh shadow guy and pink puppy person this is awsome :]]]

YYOU GUYS…. 🥺🥺

#SNIFFLES #thank u for telling me this arson I LOVE READING UR TAGS TOO I LOVE READING EVERYBODYS TAGS #even if it’s not my art and something silly like spamton ass candle… I am holding your hands I am kissing your forehead I LOVE U GUYS WAAHH #my tags are where I get all my brain worms out im so glad I don’t sound like an idiot just rambling in the tags. I mean I know rationally I #don’t sound annoying in the tags but like. validation feels good once in a while yknow 👉🏼👈🏼 #AUGHSNF and like even though I don’t know how to put it in words and I feel like I haven’t said enough to really describe how happy I am #when ppl tell me they like my art or when I get stuff drawn for me or even stuff sent my way. makes me cry bro #even if I just put something like sniffles or ugly sobbing please know I am probably flapping my hands or smiling uncontrollably 😭 #ALSO ALSO IM GLAD U MENTIONED THEM Augusta is the pink puppy and Anton is the shadow guy lol!! dw about not knowing their names I forget my #own ocs names too once in a while ;; just knowing you guys like em makes me happy tyy #Anton belongs to my pal Poicyss btw!!! her lobo corp oc who happened to get wifed #go check out her stuff!!!!! it’s really good you get stuff like pathetic soggy British men and squids!!!! #yapping #ask #SOBS

[chisungie]

.

#... only partially relating to singing but im. going through old recordings. #so i cover otoya in a group and we did smule duets as first recordings and ofc mine was a mess BUT. it was cute and energetic. #and oH MY GOD AT LEAST 3 MEMBERS WERE CALLING ME AN UKE NONSTOP FOR A WHILE AFTER LASKDJLAJD LIKE. #I GET IT YOU ALL READ BL. IG ET WE'RE COVEIRNG BOYS BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY I SOUND LIKE A BTOTOM AND HAVE THAT UKE SOUND IM GONNA SOB #oh i found the comments. “SPOILED UKE VOICE”. “THE ULTIMATE UKE.” #CALLING ME AN UKE EVEN IN THE GC I WAS SO. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT I WAS SO ASDKJAL !?!? >///<?!?!? #so embarrassing. #“my uke” nOW HOLD ON- #anyway that was like 3y ago and my voice is. not as spirited. it is weaker and airy and lower LMAO iMS O SCREWED WHEN WE START COVERS AGAIN #anyw it was fine bc that meant everyone thought i was cute. which is ideal as fuck <3 #i just thought it was funny that they said i sound like a bl bottom while singing normally lmaoo anyway. #44597

[vohtaro]

man would it be funny to see madagai get drunk together

#silly silly #it’s drinking contest from the get go #hashirama has never seen it happen so fast #gai holds his liquor well for a guy who doesn’t drink #mdr perpetually pathetic #i just want them to have stupid contests that don’t matter but also for mdr to have one (1) friend as a proper comrade #i think i might be projecting parts of hashirama onto gai but idk they’re kind of similar in my brain #ought to be sleeping tho fr just been vibin n drawing while the weekend is still here sob

[thebirdandhersong]

Have been flip-flopping between full-out sudden and heart-wrenching sadness (the Sadie Sink sobbing her heart out in All Too Well kind of sad. Alas) and general cloudy sadness hovering at the back of my mind (I feel rather like my own personal Groke in those moments) these past few weeks and today had many moments of light in it. Lots of sunshine, tea, reading with Muffin (we're reading 1 Psalm a night together and praying together before bed--it is the Best), listening to music that isn't sad/grumpy (Jess Ray, Arcadian Wild, Paul Zach, Sara Groves), laughing with Froglet... it was easier to see the light and receive it. Things are looking up :)

#SORRY THERE ARE SO MANY LONG TAG RANTS THESE DAYS ABOUT SADNESS there is just a big presence of sad in my head and heart at present #i am fighting Hard against it! i am going to get better! i am not going to dwell in it forever! #my goodness i didn't know any sort of heartbreak could be this dramatic but there are definitely things that need processing/ #talking over when one finds oneself sobbing at church halfway through the service while everyone is singing Abide With Me #the takeaway here for me at least is that i keep holding onto this very tightly #and often forget that well i can and should let go of it and give it to God instead #WHY are the lessons that i learn lessons that i keep having to learn!! man!! one would THINK that after everything i'd know by now #that Sufferin on one's lonesome is unhelpful and damaging and also affects one's physical health #and that really i shouldn't be trying to hold it together myself. anyway i was and still am vastly comforted by the words in that hymn #and by the assurance that He walks through valleys with me as well as hills and nice sunny meadows #i hope that i come out of this a) not resenting mr knight the way i've been sorely tempted to (and have in some moments) #b) not Hopeless and Hard at Heart #c) understanding God and His character better having learned how to come close to Him in times of trouble #in any case. i am rambling again. BEDTIME :D #slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21 #thinking of julian of norwich again and reminding myself Constantly that the all-shall-be-wellness of it all is not insignificant