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alia15 · 4 years

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2020: Who Saw THIS Coming?

Remember when I retired from blogging?

I actually did retire, except, I consider this little corner of the Internet -- MY corner -- to be a place where I document the big stuff. I told you about my engagement and then came back several months later to recap my wedding. Remember that? The wedding that THANKFULLY occurred in late 2019 before the world turned to shit??

Yeah. You know what happened. “The pandemic.” “The virus.” “Covid.” Covid-19″ (I personally prefer the first five Covids; I feel like they really fell off after that). “CORONAVIRUS.”

THE DUMPSTER FIRE THAT IS...2020.

Suuuuuuuuure, good ol’ Rona robbed Leo and me of our Italian honeymoon, but aside from that? We were able to squeeze in all kinds of fun things in good ol 2019 -- oh how I miss you, 2019 -- and have an unforgettable year. This year is proving to be unforgettable too -- just, ya know -- in like, a traumatizing sorta way.

Anyway, as I was saying, I have to document the big stuff on here. I imagine myself reading and looking back on this blog like an old, embarrassing diary (hell, I do it already) (the dating posts make me want to die) and who can omit THIS chapter? It’s got it all: a deadly virus, racially fueled riots and protesting, social injustice, a deranged madman in the oval office, and... MURDER HORNETS?

exactly.

So rather than write out a whole long thing about my experience in 2020, I thought I’d break it down by month, starting in March. I’m going to be documenting the good, the BAD (there’s a decent amount of that), and anything new that transpired in that time frame. Did I take up any hobbies? Start baking sourdough? I guess you’ll find out.

Let’s start with:

MARCH.

The good. There was immediately a novelty to this whole Covid-19 thing. In the first half of the month I was commuting, going to work in my NYC office, and doing my usual amount of social things on weekends. When it was decided in mid-March that we’d have to work and stay home for a “bit” (lol), there was something exciting about it. We made jokes about social distancing and masks and had cutesy puns for “quarantining.” We hit the ground RUNNING with Zoom calls/video chats. There was something fun and exhilarating about all this.

The bad. People I KNOW got this virus. People I know LOST people to this virus. My Grandma’s health took a turn and things did not look good, but I couldn’t go see her. Shit, I didn’t see ANYONE except Leo, and even he was going to work in his office every day. I had to get used to this abrupt abundance of...alone time.

What’s new? I’ve always taken to social media as a creative outlet, but I QUICKLY started using it more -- and differently -- once things in the world got hairy. I treated my Instagram like my one gateway to the outside world, because it was: I surveyed my followers and asked how they were doing. I took silly videos talking to myself in the mirror. I wrote long captions on my photos letting everyone know what my experience was like. I tried to entertain those who were stuck at home, as I was, and needing an escape.

Oh, and ya know... Tiger King.

APRIL.

The good. The weather was getting nicer, so Leo and I took advantage and often went for walks around our complex and even a local trail/preserve in our town. We started doing “lawn visits” to see our families from a distance, and that helped. For two people who were used to seeing their ‘people’ regularly, 3-4 weeks of not seeing them took a toll. I also started doing “Grateful April” on Instagram, where I shared a few things each day that made me happy/appreciative. Some followers of mine followed suit, which was awesome to see.

The bad. Hmm, I think all this sitting and lack of moving is hurting my back? (#foreshadowing). Also, ENOUGH with the Zoom calls and “virtual happy hours,” for the LOVE OF GOD! Oh, and that “novelty” I mentioned in March? That wore off quickly, and a lot of us started to feel weird, sad, isolated, uneasy, unproductive and stir-crazy. Myself included.

We were also reminded that this was the month we were supposed to depart for our honeymoon. Ugh.

What’s New? I did some arts & crafts (I painted ceramic bowls I bought from Target), gave myself a mediocre pedicure, found new/creative ways to engage and interact with folks on social media (polls, asking questions like “what’s in your Amazon cart?” and “who sponsors your quarantine?”), and got to see what it was like to have a husband with hair. I also discovered my love of tie-dye and wore...a lot of it.

Oh, and I was on CBS news talking about screen time. Iconic.

MAY.

The good. The weather got summer-like and I definitely felt a MAJOR shift in my mood. Leo and I spent more time outside on our deck: listening to music, making margaritas, talking to neighbors. I even took work calls outside and got some much-needed Vitamin D. I had my first real “beach days” (bathing suit, chair and all). I started to FINALLY see my family in person; first, outside only -- and then eventually indoors.

The bad. Ahmaud Arbery. George Floyd, obviously. Dumb-dumbs protesting the lock-down and demanding haircuts. CLEARLY more to come on this. (See: June)

Oh, and my back pain? WAY worse.

What’s new? Some more arts and crafts: I started painting shells I found on the beach (lol). I bought a pair of Crocs and documented the most absurd series on social media where I paired the heinous footwear with items that rhymed (Crocs & socks, Crocs & shamrocks, Crocs & botox...you get the idea.) I experimented with a few new recipes (made lemon poppy muffins & homemade vodka sauce). I re-watched Mad Men and it made me miss my office and coworkers.

JUNE. A rough one.

The good. We started doing more social things with our families: BBQs, celebrating Father’s Day, our nephew’s baptism. Doing this truly felt like “normalcy” and in those moments, we’d forget about all the garbage going on around us. I also decided (yes, after 3 friggin months of lock-down) that I needed to start exercising; something I needed for my physical AND mental health. I thought it could help my back -- which, yes, was feeling worse as time went on -- and it did make me feel good to spend a little time each day walking, jogging, lifting weights and just MOVING.

The bad. Um? Everything? For starters, the racial tension in the country came to a head and erupted in a MAJOR way -- and while the protests and all the #BlackLivesMatter movements were a positive thing, it absolutely brought out the WORST in so many others. There was rioting, looting and violence. Racism ran RAMPANT. Karens went wild. “Covidiots” were ENRAGED about being told to wear masks. There was police brutality and a President who threw fuel into the fire. Tensions and emotions were at an all-time high and we all got a harsh dose of reality that this country has SO FAR TO GO in regards to equality and civil rights and even basic human decency. I was -- and still am -- sad for this country.

Also? I finally went for an MRI on my back and found out I have two herniated discs; well THAT certainly helps explain things! Shortly after, I pull my back out entirely, and could not walk or move. The pain is excruciating; debilitating and I think, “can things get any worse?” and then...

My Grandma passes away.

It hurts. It still does. It was inevitable -- as death is, especially given her age and health condition at the time -- but it still felt like taking a bullet. I will always be grateful that I was able to get to see her one day before she passed away to say goodbye, but it’s hard not to be resentful that she didn’t get the memorial service and send-off she so deserved because of the pandemic.

(Side note: read about my amazing Grandma HERE)

In short, June sucked.

What’s new? We got a new stationary bike and set it up outside on the deck which was awesome, and I ended the month getting some epidural shots at the spine doctor. While the (strong) meds and injections didn’t exactly *cure* my issue, they made things a LOT better. Leo and I also drove into NYC (my first time there in MONTHS!) so I could go get my migraine Botox treatment at my neurologist.

I voted by mail (which is not fraudulent, by the way) (#eyeroll) in the NY Primary.

I also got not one, but TWO, amazing rainbows the week my grandmother passed away. I needed those, and I’d like to think she knew that.

JULY.

The good. More beach days and some consistent amazing weather (thanks, Mother Nature!). I started seeing a chiropractor twice a week and quickly respond REALLY WELL to treatment and start feeling a lot better. I put things into perspective and realize how lucky I am to live where I do -- on the beach -- and get to enjoy all this newfound free time doing things I enjoy. We also celebrate some family birthdays and have a small family gathering in honor of our beloved Dorothy.

Have you noticed that “seeing family” always ends up in my “good” section?

The bad. Naya Rivera died unexpectedly, John Lewis died, REGIS died. Our President remains as unhinged as ever, we desperately want to #FreeBritney, and Kanye West has a really sad, scary and concerning, uh, episode. He’s also running for President, maybe? Or not? On a personal note, Leo and I tried to eat dinner on the beach one night and LIT-rally got attacked by seagulls. Weeks later, bull sharks are spotted in the ocean RIGHT WHERE WE LIVE, and they prohibit swimming.

What’s new? Hamilton on Disney+: need I say more? The fig tree that’s been on our deck for three summers FINALLY started to grow figs! I re-watched Broad City and it is just... *chef’s kiss* perfection. Taylor Swift releases her album ‘folklore’ and I listen on repeat for seven days straight.

AUGUST.

Well, who knows? We’re not there yet. 2020 has certainly been a ride (and it’s not over yet; dear GOD), and I still can’t believe it ended up being this insane year, unlike anything I’ve EVER experienced. And while it undoubtedly has come with its fair share of challenges, it has also come with some blessings.

I have all this extra time now and I make a point to use it productively (most days). I log off from working and go outside, I walk the beach, go in our complex pool, ride the stationary bike, catch up with friends/family on the phone, read, and watch/re-watch shows.

The commute and hustle and bustle of every day in my pre-pandemic life would make me stressed and anxious; I was constantly snoozing alarm clocks, rushing in the mornings, dealing with overcrowded/delayed trains, and getting home late each night.

Life has become slower, in a good way, and it’s made me appreciate the simple things. I care less about material things and more about the basics: enjoying nice weather/the outdoors, my home, my husband, my family and close friends.

I genuinely stopped caring about getting my hair and nails done, going out to dinner, getting dolled up, or traveling. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy all these things and I’ll of course do them again, but this whole situation made me realize that what I need *most* in this world are the simple joys that money can’t buy.

And for that? I’m grateful.

*stay safe, friends.*

#coronavirus #pandemic #life #2020 #this year #recap #family #blm #year in review #my life #covid #life as we know it #changes #death #loss #love #beach

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croissantbae · 4 years

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My Brother’s Wedding

It was Jimmy’s wedding on Sunday (12/1). He had his wedding at the same venue that Jason and I got married at, Bel Air Bay Club. Jason and I were planning on getting an Airbnb in Santa Monica for Saturday because we had to be there for rehearsal and we could then easily make our way over to the venue the next day. I made plans to see my friend Jess since we were going to be on the west side but we totally pussied out (Jess must think I’m a nutcase at this point because I’ve canceled plans so many times). Instead Jason stayed at home with her for about 6 hours. To his credit he did an amazing job. Since she doesn’t take the bottle he mixed formula with some broccoli mash and she took it like a champ. They had a great day together and I got to enjoy my brother’s rehearsal. Originally he planned on having me walk in with my mom but then I got demoted to just sitting in the front row and essentially having no part of the ceremony lol (except I got a hug during the honoring of the family part). Instead, my mom walked in with Christine’s grandma, which to be honest is more normal. At the rehearsal I strangely felt emotional. I told my mom I thought I’d cry and she asked me why. I said because it’s goodbye, in a sense. He’s going to have a new primary family unit. On top of that, I felt some grief for them, for the people that should have been in their lives that were missing.

The next day (aka the wedding day), Jason and I were a team with a plan. We washed the sheet for the pack and play, packed up the pack and play, books, diapers, toys, clothes, pajamas, the baby monitor, baby head phones (so she wouldn’t be bothered by the loud noise from the speakers). You name it, we packed it up. I did some last minute scramble shopping for a new dress because Jason said the dress I was planning on wearing made me look like I was Elsa. I honestly would’ve still worn it but it was pretty cold so I got a long sleeve dress that was warmer instead - it was a dress I grabbed while in panic mode while waiting in line to pay. When I got home I rushed to get ready but managed to pull it all together, EXCEPT for my eyelashes. I got some fake lashes from Sephora. They looked really long but it was the mildest option they had so I went with it. When I tried it on, however, I looked insane. I took one of them off and re-did it in the car because we didn’t have time. When we got to the venue we checked into our hotel room, changed Naya and continued to get ready. My eyelashes were a disaster so I had to do my make-up all over again since my eye make-up got ruined while trying to put it on and take it off again. Dayae was there and I had her do my make-up for me instead. She did a much better job and we ended up switching eyelashes to another pair that I had used before. Overall it was better but whenever I smiled it gave me ssangapool (double eyelids) and I looked freaky. Literally all of the photos are ruined because of it (see pictures posted separately). The only way I could look normal is if I tried to relax my eyes so it wouldn’t form (see picture with Dayae where I’m leaning my face back). I felt super rushed but the ceremony was about to start so we went to our seats. It was also Naya’s nap time so she started getting a bit cranky. I wasn’t sure how she’d do sitting in the front seat with us but we risked it anyway.

Ceremony begins and soon enough Christine (the bride) is walking down the aisle. It was a ridiculously beautiful setting. Since it was December, it was a little overcast but orange and pink hues broke through the clouds, creating a gorgeous scene. Then as Christine walks down, she’s crying and Jimmy is crying seeing her, and I look over at Jason and he’s crying. It was all so sweet but I had zero tears. I was like, alright just wait for the hug when they honor the family. I bet it’ll be water works then. But even then I had no tears. And I realized it was because I was purely just happy for them. I got to hang out with Christine during Thanksgiving and it was really nice seeing them together and being able to get to know her a little more too. I could see why they fit. During the ceremony they said their own vows and it was the best part of the whole shebang. Jimmy said when he decided, in college, to be a pastor, he told her, ‘are you ready to eat ramen everyday for the rest of our lives?’ and she told him, ‘i’m going to be a nurse so i’ll be your sugar mama’ (but then they both became pastors). I think because they’re both pastors, they’re used to public speaking. They were funny, touching, interesting. I honestly felt nothing but happiness for them and excitement for their future. The second best part of the wedding was the best man speeches. Jonathan went first and you could tell how much he loved and cherished Jimmy. Adriel went second and it was just SO CUTE. Those little boys grew up well.

Anyway, Naya took a 20 minute nap during the cocktail hour and then woke up and never went back to sleep. We went back to the hotel room trying to sleep her at her bed time but she just wouldn’t go down and we didn’t have the heart to put her in the pack and play. Jason and I looked at each other “should we just go home?” we asked each other and for a good two minutes we went back and forth. The hotel room was $375, we made plans to see another one of our friends on the west side the next day, we could manage one night right? WRONG. We could not. We had started sleep training her a week prior and we just didn’t want to lose all the work we had put in so we packed up our shit in a minute and rushed on out of there. Luckily this friend is the number one baby sleep advocate so if anyone was going to get it, she would (and she did). We went home and we both 100% knew it was the right decision. Also Jimmy and Christine ended up using the hotel room anyway so it was not a waste.

This post was a lot of nonsense about how rushed and stressed I was getting ready for the wedding and making sure Naya was sleeping. It doesn’t convey how much love and joy I felt at the wedding for my brother and Christine but it was there. It was a joyous event. I am so proud of the person that little Jimmy has become. I actually wrote him an email after the wedding to tell him how happy I was for him and proud I am of him. I also told him that I was sorry if it ever felt like I discouraged him from doing the things he really wants to (like pastoring). I obviously have opinions on what I think he should pursue or at least try but he’s a grown-up now and I fully believe that he is doing what’s best for him (and that its up to him decide what that is). Also Naya got so much love. She was passed around to adoring cousins and ajummas/ajushis and it was so sweet (though some wouldn’t let her go lol). I am so thankful to have a loving community surrounding our family.

People asked if it was weird having their wedding at the same venue as ours but it wasn’t at all. It was such a different experience. On our wedding day we were so preoccupied taking photos and greeting people that I didn’t really see a lot of stuff. This time I could actually enjoy the scenery. I got to partake in passed hors d’oeuvres during cocktail hour and see the inside of one of the hotel rooms, etc. It was nice to be able to come back.

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oxfordeliterp · 7 years

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CONGRATULATIONS, VICTORIA!

You have been accepted to play the role of GWENDOLYN ARMSTRONG with the faceclaim of ZOE KRAVITZ. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I am swept off my feet by your application, although this time, once again, I had to choose between two marvelous ones. Yet, the way you know Gwen’s skin and what a piece of art you have turned this into captivated me and I know I couldn’t possibly see anybody else writing this character now that I have read your application. I want to read your writing forever, if possible, because you’re no Medusa, Euryale or Stheno, but a siren trying to lure people to their deaths with a breathtaking choice of words and an impressive depth that you have offered Gwendolyn. Thank you for giving me a spectacular reason to stay up all night and I already know it is going to be an honor writing with you. Based on the description of every Quarrel Club member at the end of the para sample, I would have given you any of those characters; but instead, have the queen. She’s yours.

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Victoria, Vee, V for Vagina, she/her … sheeeet I don’t care, I’m just excited for a group like this to come along, a group that has pumped me up to be in the RP world again!

Age: Quarter century

Time-zone: PST

Activity level: My life is currently a clusterfuck, but a clusterfuck that is in desperate need of distraction and creative outlet. The only thing keeping me away from the interwebs is a part-time job and the graduate school application process. Sooo… I don’t know numerically out of 10? 6? 7? I never know how to answer this part - lets just say I spend more time procrastinating online than I should.

Triggers: N/A

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: I instantly connected with Gwendolyn the moment I read her bio. I’ve always had the tendency to be drawn to troubled, complex, introverted men - obviously, Gwendolyn is the opposite of all of the above, which shocked me when it came to how drawn I was to her as a character. It became quite obvious why she felts so familiar after reading her biography and her circumstances a few times through – she is the version of myself that I always wished to be but never had the balls to go through with in college. As I sit here and finish out writing this application, I realize just how much of a joy it has been simply to hash out my own feelings in an introspective way through this character. For me being a year out of college and looking back on my own experience, I recognize that her extreme black and white views on female/male dynamics and radical feminism are so familiar due to a lack of experience in the real world. I know I can play this character so well because I understand exactly what motivates her whilst also having the hindsight to understand why her extreme views will be her downfall if she doesn’t learn to compromise her brilliance. It’s so easy to see the dichotomy of men vs. women in the small bubble that is the college experience, but to be able to play it out with the self-righteousness that Gwen has for her cause, not to mention her ability to back it up with hours of research and intelligent debates, is an opportunity that I would be far too excited about!

Gender and pronouns of the character: She/Her

Changes: If it works, I have used Zoe Kravitz as my muse for this character. When it comes down to it, the writing of the character is far more important than the face but I honestly could not get her badass, renegade essence out of my mind when I was typing out her app.

I was also thinking Naya Rivera as back up #2, and then Eiza Gonzalez if you don’t see either of the other gals meshing with your vision of the RP.

Traits:

+ Charismatic, Principled, Loyal, Contemplative, Ambitious

- Sanctimonious, Arrogant, Fanatical, Vindictive, Stubborn

Extras:

Gwendolyn is following the History and Politics course as her major of choice. A natural fit, her aims to alter the prevailing, patriarchic gender dynamic extend much further than simply Oxford. She firmly believes that hidden in history are stories of matriarchies that have been purposely buried by the predominance of male historians. Determined to pair the wisdom and lessons of the past with a future game plan to get into politics, she knows to make a difference globally, you must know and analyze the cycles of history. Gwen is a news junkie, her cell constantly pinging with the latest updates stemming from hundreds of diverse news sources. She subscribes to a plethora of sources, never wanting to fall into the trap of an echo chamber and finding sick joy in reading viewpoints she disagrees with so she can shred the arguments apart with gusto.

Gwen is constantly challenging the syllabus and her professors for not having enough diverse content (i.e female and P.O.C authors) – much to the annoyance of her classmates. She will consistently ramble on in debate and find ways to weave in a complaint even in the most simple of question-answer class discussion. It’s gotten to the point where she has been kicked out of a class for being too confrontational. But don’t think that’s stopped her – she now stages her formal complaints in the form of unassigned essays that she will turn into her professors detailing the long list of her objections to the proposed subject matter. She knows its drives everyone crazy, but she feels she’s doing a service to them all – it’s a well researched fact that diverse classrooms paired with varying points of view in reading material leads to the most productive learning environment, a talking point she will gladly back up with a bibliography of sources that she knows by heart.

A trait about Gwendolyn that no one would ever realize is her tendency to be exhausted by her own ambitions. Although she insists on being the loudest in a group of people, she is most comfortable when she is at one with her mind, challenging it with complex novels are articles, or if she’s lucky, finding another like-minded individual who is interested in tearing idea to shreds just for the interest of mental sparring. Although she is active in the social scene out of necessity, it’s not her goal in any way to be the life of the party unless it’s in the interest of bringing more notoriety to the Quarrel Club.

Personality Type: The Debater (ENTP)

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ’crack-pot’ than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.” – Thomas J Watson

Taking a certain pleasure in being the underdog, Debaters enjoy the mental exercise found in questioning the prevailing mode of thought.

Treating others as they’d be treated, Debaters have little tolerance for being coddled, and dislike when people beat around the bush, especially when asking a favor.

I also have an inspo blog I’ve been using for her, the account that I applied with. It contains general quotes, people of interest, and things that I think either define Gwen as a person or better explains what she cares about. Please consider when reading the app: http://cooperxmathis.tumblr.com/

PARA SAMPLE

Everybody knows the story of Medusa, that she was a petrifying woman to be reckoned with. That her name loosely translated to Queen. That she was so terrifying that one glance into her steely eyes would turn her victim to stone. Only some people know that she hadn’t always been a hideous monster. That she had been one of the most beautiful and devoted servants of Athena, and although many men sought to marry her, she fell for Poseidon. Those with even the slightest of Greek mythology knowledge can recall that Medusa was ultimately weak and succumbed to the mortal men who hunted her down. She became a famous symbol for another man’s strength. Perseus paraded her defeat on his shield as a badge of honor – another woman down, another head on a platter, another female used as an ingredient in a trumped up legend for whatever man needed an ego boost. But there is a much more interesting story behind Medusa, a mere-mortal who squandered her time on hope and regrets, always fantasizing about returning to her mortal life of worshipping another whilst she herself was originally worshiped for the most dull of female qualities – beauty and purity.

Of course Medusa became one of the most famous female villains in Greek mythology – she was a fantastic tale of an innocent girl who lost her chastity and transformed into a seductive woman whose power was to great and finally put in her place by a cliché male hero. Male historians eat that shit up, happy to pass on a tale of a woman who got what was coming to her. The real cherry on top of this sexist shit pie, the little detail that your grade school history class always leaves out, was that the female Goddess, Athena, transformed Medusa into a monster. That in the original myth, Poseidon raped her in Athena’s temple, and out of jealous spite, Athena turned her into a monster, transforming each of her satin locks into a snake. That small detail is always left out of grade-school mythology week, probably to avoid harnessing the awareness of girl-on-girl on crime and victim blaming in young impressionable teen women. Can’t let them catch on too quick; when second class citizens are divided the patriarchy thrive – divide & conquer.

Alas, Medusa was essentially victim-blamed after being raped by Poseidon – a sick twist that Gwen was all too happy to see her history teacher squirm over when she pleasantly brought it to light in her freshman mythology class. Gwen learned early on that if she wanted to learn relevant history outside of the ‘triumphs’ of what rich white dudes did for the benefit of other rich white dudes, she would have to dig for herself. For buried within the legend of Medusa, Queen of the Gorgons, there are two much more worthy recipients of the title, two older, immortal sisters – Stheno and Euryale. It’s no surprise that these so-called villains soon became heroes in Gwen’s mind.

The younger of the two sisters, Euryale, was the calm before the storm. Just as vicious as the others, but with a completely different approach, luring her victims in with a stillness and calming peace that would give no warning to their fate. Her eyes described as still pools of violet that tranquilized all those who looked upon them, blessing them with a feeling of control over a hectic universe, the ultimate tease. Giving no warning for the immediate havoc that was about to be released, they would lose all desire to retaliate. Hypnotized by her presence, they would remain blissfully still until the last moment, relishing in the moment even as she sank her fangs through flesh and tore skin from bone.

Then there was Stheno, her muse, her identity, the fiercest of the three, known to be the most murderous of the Gorgon sisters, having killed more men then both of her sisters combined. Her approach was on a complete different side of the spectrum, her eyes explosive with a fierce reminiscent of Hades’ fire. No hypnotic placidity could be found within them. She yearned for the indulgence of human flesh, indulged in the taste of warm blood. No attraction on earth is as tempting as that of a powerful force - and none came more powerful as Stheno’s presence. A temper as violent as no other on this earth or in any other existence - she was the unstoppable force that brought a swift and total destruction.

Gwen was going to rewrite Oxford history, her legacy would be destroying the façade that the Riot Club had created, revealing them for the petulant children they are, little boys creating messes for play and throwing money to clean them up. This was her pet project, her practice round before she was unleashed onto the real world. A smaller, test version of how the rest of the world works, where rich men create problems that affect the rest of us and then jack each other off for fixing the mess they had created in the first place. She somewhat knew this was child’s play compared to raiding and destroying the ultimate boys clubs outside of Oxford, but hey, if she could tear down a centuries old tradition and replace it with a far superior female legacy within a four year span, she would finally prove to herself that she was the unstoppable force of nature that Stheno had inspired her to be.

She knew it was crucial to pick the right women, that this very first group of ten girls would be everything as they would be setting the tone for centuries to come. One of her best qualities had always been her ability to see past the bullshit of girl-on-girl crime. She never bought into the idea that in order to move up in the world she had to put other women down. It was a fact that that very notion is what has kept women as powerless for millennia, and she was determined to prove that if she brought ten of the best and brightest together, that claws would not come out, at least, not against eachother. However, her place as the leader of the group is something she would never sacrifice. Not that she is buying into an idea that she is better than any of the other women, but positive that only she has the pure, clear-cut vision of boosting them all up for the better; not to mention she hadn’t planned on being exactly forthcoming on her actual motives. The appeal of the Quarrel club was first and foremost an illusion that she was presenting. That it was something of a petty, social badge of honor that would include frivolous spending, ludicrous parties, and a bit of fun competition with the most ‘desirable’ men on campus. Little would her recruits know that she was hand picking them for their potential. She would take these confused women and show them what the world really could look like if they only had the power, if they only had the desire to restore the natural order of the world where women were destined to lead. It would be a slow process, she knew, she would have to lure them in, which would be easy. The hard part would be making them see how pointless the perks and values of the Riot Club were and showing them that true satisfaction will come from tearing down the men and everything they stand for, not just downing shots and fucking around with Oxford’s golden boys.

After months of careful planning, she had nine pristine envelopes in hand, their thick cardstock stamped with wax seal, the fierce stare of the Gorgon head piercing through the deep red. A satisfied smirk wove its way across Gwen’s lips, her eyes lighting up as she ran her fingers across the raised edges of the insignia. She knew the women would all assume it was Medusa, probably never even hearing of Stheno, but soon she was to teach them the buried history of the much stronger women that existed in not only fabled myths, but the real world as well. Soon, they too would be the legends used to inspire leagues of women to write their own history, to never be forgotten by the bias of time told through the eyes of men. The future will be rewritten and the pen will be held by f e m a l e s. Flipping over each envelope, she dipped her vintage, sterling silver pen into ink and began to write out each woman’s name.

L A U R E N H A S T I N G S - A crucial member for a multitude of reasons. The most obvious, everyone not only knew Lauren, but also idolized her. She glided across campus with an ease and poise that was unseen in most modern women, she epitomized the essence of old movie stars. Although Gwen in no way embodied these qualities, nor would she ever want to, she still understood the effect that this old-fashioned femininity had on the masses. Frankly, she found Lauren to be an extremely dull Betty Draper-esque robot, but if there was one thing that Gwendolyn respected it was discipline, a quality that Lauren certainly exuded with her picture perfect image. She knew that nobody could truly be that flawless, but whatever Lauren was hiding, the façade that followed her had never cracked, no scandal had ever erupted - an amazing success in Gwen’s eyes. In her mind, Lauren could be the Euryale to her Stheno. That level of control and composure was something she admired and could learn from. More importantly though, was Lauren’s connection to Jamie Heather. Her smile faltered. She would never admit to herself how much of a catalyst he had been in creating the woman she had become; that he was the very reason why the Quarrel Club would exist in the first place. No, Gwen quickly shook the beautiful face from her mind, refusing to let him run away with her thoughts once again - he doesn’t deserve that much credit. Moving on, she poised her pen to the next ivory envelope in the stack.

E L I Z A B E T H P E M B E R L Y – Gwen can’t exactly put her finger on what draws her to Elizabeth, but there is an infectious energy that surrounds the girl wherever she goes. Gwen knows that she is indulgent and a bit of a narcissist, but fuck it, what man doesn’t get away with the same qualities and still labeled a charming cassanova? Elizabeth has a way about her that makes everyone desperate to please, a very distinct feminine essence that is subtle but inevitably intoxicating. Better to have that on her side, to harness that sort of brilliant charismatic energy and exploit it for her own purpose than to let Elizabeth waste away her own potential. She has a power that makes people do whatever she wants without asking them, for motivations that they don’t even understand but desperately urge to simply satisfy her.

V I C T O R I A D E T E R R E R O S Another choice that although overwhelmingly dissimilar to herself, came with a connection to the Riot club paired with the bonus of an old family name. Although Lauren had the essence of a celebrity, Victoria actually was one. Not that Gwendolyn was one to give a shit about tabloid fodder. There were far too many important events and people in the world to waste time on the likes of People magazine or throwing meaningless likes to Instagram ‘stars’ desperate for validation from thousands of strangers. No, she was not one to be starstruck by celebrity influence, but she couldn’t deny that in today’s times, Victoria’s tabloid status could be of use. If she could have an early influence on the young royal, there’s a chance that she could make sure that Victoria didn’t become another pretty face simply peddling Vitamix or whatever bullshit beauty product down the throats of millennial lemmings glued to their phone screens. Plus, Gwen’s obsessions with history meant that an old, royal family name couldn’t help but pique her interest. Package that in with a brother in the Riot Club and Victoria was a given.

A R I A B E L L E F O N T E – She could never put her finger on exactly what drew her to Aria, but she in some ways has always envied her. Her effortless charm and impassivity are qualities that Gwen knows she could never enjoy but admires greatly. A woman like Aria is crucial to the group, a perfect example of the type of women who should be, no – will be – running the world. Aria never smiles to please, never wastes her time nor believes that her appearance is anything but an asterisk to her entire being, never felt the need to parade whatever it is her parents do to enable her to afford attending such a prestigious university. Aria simply exists, in complete authenticity; a woman who has never tried, let alone needed, to impress anyone yet has a bounty of influence at her fingertips. The only negative that Gwen can assess is the utter lack of appreciation that Aria has for her own influence. She seems completely satisfied to drift among their entitled peers with little motivation to do anything with her gifts. Pressing her silver pen as she dotted the I of Aria’s name, Gwen was sure she could inspire the girl to follow through with her full potential.

A L E X A N D R A R O S S E S S E N – Whispers could be heard all over campus of the brilliant young woman who at only sixteen had earned early admission to Oxford. Whispers turned into full blown shouts as soon as everyone realized such a brilliant mind came packaged in a red-haired, statuesque beauty. She and Alexandra had a class together where Gwen got to witness the full blown arrogance of the child genius, a quality that turned the rest of the class off but Gwen absolutely adored. At such a young age Alexandra had the confidence that most women never find after years of soul-searching and worthless self-help guides. Alexandra had a quick wit and didn’t abstain from questioning authority, a quality Gwen quickly picked up on after witnessing her challenge many of the key points in several lectures. Not to mention the rumors that she was behind the gossip maven Ace, a serious advantage that Gwen knew if she could harness for the benefit of the Quarell Club could be a crucial cog in the warhead she was creating against the Riot Club. After all, everyone knows to win a war people need to believe the rookies have a fighting chance; it brings morale up among underestimated troops and breeds allegiance in new acquaintances determined to prove themselves. And in the court of public opinion, Ace could weave a narrative of success and manipulate gossip during the inevitable hiccups that come with starting such an exclusive group.

A R A B E L L A W I N D S O R – Everyone knows about Arabella Windsor and her midnight escapades. Judgments surrounding her loose reputation never cease and what Gwen adores is the fact that she seems to revel in them. Gwen abhors the double standard that tells women they must be as beautiful and sexually desirable as humanly possible but once they take control of said sexuality and use it for their own pleasure are labeled slut and presumably undesirable, a catch twenty-two that would be amusing if it wasn’t so prevalent and capable of destroying a woman’s self worth. Female sexuality has been the number one weapon manipulated by men to keep women in their place since the dawn of time. That much is most obvious even now when you look at every government funded female health legislation dictated by literal (and figurative) dicks with not one woman in sight to speak for her own body. The key to the male ego is his ability to womanize, to show he’s the big man on campus by tricking women into his bed and then ignoring their very existence the next day as a power play. Gwen isn’t sure if Arabella knows just how much of a social renegade she is just by simply sleeping with as many men as she pleases without guilt, but she is determined to take that unabashed female sexual prowess and harness it into more meaningful pursuits. She knows there is a bit of risk involved, seeing as many of Arabella’s conquests are men of the Riot Club, but with the right amount of loyalty to the Quarell club instilled, Arabella’s sexuality could be used as a weapon. After all, it’s a well-known cliché that a man is most weak with his trousers around his ankles.

C O R D E L I A M C Q U E E N – Cordelia attracts the gaze and curiosity of many, not only because of her world-famous last name, but because of the mysterious way in which she carries herself. She is a walking oxymoron – charismatic yet unforthcoming with the few words she speaks at all, a wallflower in theory and yet impossible to ignore. She is the type of girl that you always want to know more about but refuses to share what she doesn’t meticulously allow to be public. Gwen was determined to have her be a member of the club the moment she saw her. Her effortless appeal and unwavering mysterious persona perplexes many, Gwen herself falling under the spell. She isn’t sure what exactly the girl can bring to the club, but the magnetism she exudes is sure to be harboring an untapped potential that Gwen could use to the club’s advantage. Plus, if Gwen is honest with herself, the connection Cordelia holds to high-fashion royalty adds an essence of exclusivity and publicity that Gwen is just shallow enough to take advantage of.

C H A R L O T T E Z E R I L L I – With a twin in the riot club, Gwen knew that Charlotte would be a risky choice that could pan out to be a fountain of knowledge into the inner-workings of the Riot Club or backfire in a nuclear fashion if she couldn’t harness her loyalty to fall into step with the Quarrel club. Gwen had a feeling that Charlotte had always been the brilliant one out of the Zerelli twins, that she had been living in her brother’s shadow and was looking for an opportunity to stretch her legs in a role of influence. With the right coaxing and a group of brilliant women surrounding her, Gwen was sure that Charlotte was a harbor of untapped potential that could prove to be one of her finest choices of all. There wasn’t an exact quality that she could put her finger on when it came to what drew her to Charlotte, but Gwen wasn’t one to silence her intuition. Too many women choose to ignore that little voice in their head that all too often is screaming the right answer because they have so little trust in their own minds that they choose to silence their own power. Women’s intuition isn’t a myth, and Gwen is out to prove that hers is spot on.

L A N A C H A M B E R S – With a mind as sharp as her own, Lana was the last woman to make the cut. It’s not that she didn’t have the right temperament for the club, she was there on scholarship after all, proving that she had a keen mind and was determined to fight her way to the top. It’s just that Gwen was aware that her combined choice of women has an overall image to maintain. It was crucial to show that the Quarrel club would not have money be an influential factor in membership. Gwen is apt to criticize capitalism and is she is a firm believer that white imperialism has lead to the huge income inequality gap that exists between the worlds most wealthy and most poor. Gwen won’t admit to herself that she is using Lana as a tool to show off her own biases towards wealth and money in general. In her mind, she’s doing the right thing, offering a woman a spot in a money-driven social circle and coming off as a selfless queen who is above such superficial things such as monetary measures, despite knowing little of actual poverty after growing up in family of extreme upper-class means and opportunities.

Pressing the final wax seal with satisfaction, Gwen felt the high rush that comes whenever she feels she is on the precipice of a brilliant scheme about to be realized. This would be her master project, her legacy, her own personal legend. Oxford would be forever altered, the gender dynamic pushed in a completely different direction with women, her women, leading the pack. Sliding the ivory envelopes into her tan leather backpack, she sauntered out the door, her head raised high, already balancing the inevitable crown she was about to take as her own.

#accepted #gwendolyn armstrong

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theartificialdane · 7 years

Text

Galactica, part 224

In this Pearl looks at her girlfriend, the V-list strikes again, Tatianna comes home, Courtney practices, Sutan visits, Fame tries not to worry, and Trixie removes the demon.

Thank you @toriibelledarling @veronicasanders and @samrull <3

TW: Mentions of self harm.

“Come on, babe! The water’s warm!” Pearl was already neck deep in the bath, enjoying the raspberry scent of bubbles around her.

Laila walked into the bathroom with a sour expression, holding up two t–shirts. “Which one should I wear tonight? It’s my first time doing a livestream and I want to look, you know, good? I guess.” She shrugged, showing Pearl the shirts, both of them generic Forever 21, black with writing on them. Laila deserved better.

“How about that crop top I got last week? From Victoria’s Secret? You’d look, like, fucking hot in it.”

Laila frowned, dropping the shirts to the floor and stepping out of her clothes to join Pearl in the bath. “I don’t know. Hot isn’t really my brand, you know?” she said while taking off her bra and Pearl was ready to argue a completely different statement.

“Bullshit. Hot was always your brand.” Pearl said, wrapping her arms around Laila when the other girl finally climbed into the bathtub and situated herself between Pearl’s legs, leaning backwards against her. “You look hot in your pyjamas, with your hair unwashed for three days, in your underwear, without your underwear, in ripped tights, in a fancy dress, in a–”

“Okay, shut up, shut up or I’ll feed you some foam.” Laila threatened, taking a handful of bubbles and smashing them on top of Pearl’s head instead. “I’ll check the crop top later, fine? Do you wanna guest star in my livestream?”

“I’d be, like, honored, BonBon. What do you need me to do? Do you want to paint me? Are we doing unboxing? Are we–”

“Nah, I just need a glamorous assistant to hand me my brushes,” Laila grinned. She was so beautiful when she smiled like that, Pearl couldn’t resist…

… smacking her in the face with a handful of foam.

***

Alright, muffins. We promised a full review of Li’l Courtney Act’s first album, Kaleidoscope, once it dropped, so here you go…

CONTENT: These songs are not bad at all. We know that sounds like damning with faint praise but that’s the truth. You know how most pop music is total garbage? Well, frankly, we expected garbage. Especially when we saw her listed as co-writer. (HARD EYE ROLL.) But yeah, a lot of the songs are catchy and danceable and her biggest flaw is her tendency to use nonsensically pretentious turns of phrase. That said, we’ll take pretentious lyrics over “yeah, baby, yeah yeah” any day, so take that criticism with a grain of salt. (We just think it’s silly when pop music pretends to be smart. Like, calm down, please. We don’t go to the VMAs to find an SAT tutor.)

EXECUTION: Okay, so as we said after her first single dropped, the girl can sing. She doesn’t have the voice of the Next Mariah, but neither is she the Next Britney, being shoved down our throats because she’s cute and mediocre. She has a good, solid voice and it’s also clear that she’s working for it, which it important. Solid B.

BEST TRACKS: We are totally in love with “Kaleidoscope,” which we hear is the next video/single (although it’s one of the worst offenders of the above mentioned pretentious nonsense lyrics, it’s a very exuberant, fun dance song), as well as her angsty unrequited-love ballad, “Across the Ocean,” which we assume is about BDR especially with lyrics like “her smoldering eyes taunt me, turn me to dust in her hands” - sure sounds like B. And then of course there’s the totally cheesy but ultimately fulfilling, sexy bass-pumped follow-up, “Found.” I mean, you gotta hand it to this kid for putting her heart out there. And of course we love what we think is the best dance track, “Ecstasy.”

VIDEO: The single that dropped today with the album was “Body Heat,” accompanied by a music video. Our review? HOLY SHIT. BASICALLY PORN. 10/10. GO WATCH IMMEDIATELY. The story is very simple. Courtney is trapped on a crowded subway car in the middle of the summer. Lights are flickering, everyone is sweaty and beautiful, and she’s being banged around (pun intended) between Ruby Rose and Naya Rivera. YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE????

TL;DR - Who cares about anything else, Courtney should be fucking SAINTED for that video.

Kisses, V

***

“Allison? Are you home?” Tatianna opened the door to her apartment. “I got ingredients for hot pot since we’re staying in tonight!” Tatianna threw her keys in the bowl by the door. Tatianna loved hot pot, even though it was technically way too fattening to eat on a model diet, but she didn’t care, not tonight. She hadn’t expected to like living with Allison as much as she had, but somehow it had turned out for the better, the quiet, big eyed, blonde girl a calm and quiet presence Tatianna had no idea she needed.

“Allison? Where are you, come on, I’m hungry!”

Tatianna toed off her shoes and walked into the apartment, all the lights were turned off, except the warm glow that came from the bathroom door that was cracked open.

“Allison?”

“Please don’t… It hurts…”

“I know sweetheart, I know…”

Tatianna didn’t recognise the voices. She knew one of them had to be Allison, but the girl sounded so broken, so small, the other voice a deep baritone that sounded familiar but she couldn't place it.

“Please...”

Tatianna pushed the door open, and saw Sutan of all people in the world, sitting on the floor with Allison, her cheeks dark with mascara, her hair a mess, Sutan sitting between her legs neither of them noticing that Tatianna could see them.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay.” Sutan was gently dabbing a cotton pad on Allisons inner thigh, her pearly white skin covered with tiny red cuts, drops of blood still clinging to her, the woman only dressed in a sweater and her underwear. “You did good.”

Allison shook her head, a sob coming from the deepest part of her chest.

“Hey, hey.” Sutan gently grabbed the side of Allison’s face, the man forcing the girl her to look at him, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. “You did good. You called me, and you did good.”

Allison nodded, the girl clinging to Sutan’s hand while she cried, small sounds of pain leaving her as Sutan finished cleaning the wounds on her thighs.

Tatianna gently closed the door, neither of them noticing her as she tiptoed into the kitchen, her stomach one giant knot. She knew Allison was going through a rough time, but to see her friend, her roommate and someone she cared so deeply about hurt her to her core. Allison had gone out that morning for a modeling job, the two of them eating breakfast on the couch while watching Good Morning America as Tatianna nursed her hangover from the day before. It felt like lightyears away, but she was pulled out of her trance when she heard noises from the bathroom, Allison on her feet, and Tatianna instantly went to the front door, opening it and slamming it shut before she turned around, a fake smile on her face.

“Allison, I’m home!”

Tatianna was a lot of things, and had been called her fair share of names by jealous girls and rude ex lovers, but if there was one thing she’d never be, it was a bad friend.

***

“5, 6, 7, 8…” Derrick counted Courtney in and she began the routine, flanked by two of the backup dancers with whom she’d be performing on Friday. She tried to concentrate, to not worry about how her album was doing on the iTunes charts, what people were saying, what reviews had come out...

Ben sat in front of the mirror, watching her closely, scrutinizing her every move. When she finished, he jumped up to give her some tips. “I think you need stronger arms, and to hit harder with your hips. You’re missing some of the accent beats.”

Derrick raised her eyebrows. “See?”

Courtney nodded, out of breath, watching Ben demonstrate, taking care to milk the part with the sexy backup dancer. “Hello, sir,” he simpered, body rolling against him. Courtney giggled.

“Yaaaaaas!” Derrick exclaimed. “See Court, how his hands are flexed and his legs are straight on the extensions? Sometimes when you do it, it’s like you’re marking.”

“Okay, let’s try it again,” Courtney said. “Sometimes I worry that I’m gonna forget the steps, or I get distracted, so I hesitate. I think I just need more rehearsal.”

“What you need, is to be a fucking confident, sexy bitch, who knows you are in total charge of the stage,” Ben replied.

Courtney grinned. “So I need to be Vanity?”

Ben tossed imaginary hair over his shoulder. “Couldn’t hurt, love.”

“I’ll do my best!” she promised, getting into her opening pose and winking at him.

***

“Thanks Katya, but I’m good!” Sutan smiled as he made his way through Violet’s apartment, Katya and Trixie in the kitchen with Ivan, baking pumpkin pies with the woman Sutan briefly recognised as Max’s girlfriend Ruby.

Sutan opened the door to Violet’s room, the light in the room dim, a single scented candle burning, a low male voice talking and Sutan realised Violet was meditating. Sutan gently took off his jacket, trying his best not to give Violet a shock, he sat down on her bed, waiting for the girl to open her eyes as he took out his phone. Sutan was dressed in a green sweater and black jeans, the man meeting Jaslene, her new husband and a lot of his friends for a pre halloween bash, Sutan hoping he could potentially find someone Tatianna could date for a while. Sport stars always needed models on their arms, and the press had started to wonder a little too much if he and Tatianna were too close, Sutan nearly rolling his eyes when Raven had sent him a link to an article from her hospital bed, Raven somehow always on top of the gossip.

“Sutan?”

Sutan looked up from his phone, a smile on his face when he saw Violet reach out and grab the hoodie next to her, quickly pulling it on before she got up from the floor and walked over to him.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t text...”

“I came to see you.” Sutan reached out and placed his hands on her hips, leaning forward to gently kiss her stomach that was bare, Violet only wearing leggings and a sports bra, the girl wrapping her arms around his neck, not saying anything as Sutan mouthed her skin.

“You did?”

“Mmmh...” Sutan pulled Violet down, the girl falling forward, her legs folding so she was sitting in his lap. “Kiss me?”

Violet bit the inside of her cheek, and Sutan was almost sure she was hesitating before she leaned down, their lips meeting in a kiss, Sutan gently prying Violet’s mouth open with his tongue, but Violet gently pulled back.

“So you came here, just to see me? Not for any other reason?

“What’s with all the questions?”

“No reasons…” Violet kissed Sutan again, her stomach in knots, but as Sutan pulled her down on the bed, the two lying together, Sutan holding her close, their bodies together, chest to chest, their legs intertwined, Sutan’s hand in her hair, and the knot was slowly replaced with warm desire. She was mad at the man who was holding her, mad and even a little hurt that he had apparently just come over to have sex, but the worry was slowly disappearing as Sutan whispered in her ear, his voice low, his breath hot, and Violet allowed herself to drown in her lover’s embrace, forgetting her annoyance.

***

“Hi, sweetie. What’s the matter?” Jinkx asked, opening her door to reveal Adore, holding a duffel bag. She’d been a little puzzled when her doorman had called up to say that Adore was there, and now her confusion was replaced with concern.

“The pipes are leaking again. My kitchen flooded. I have no hot water,” Adore told her, a look of shame flashing across her face. “I’m sorry, I hate doing this. I can call Bianca but Courtney’s brother stole my bedroom.”

“Don’t be silly,” Jinkx said, pulling Adore inside. “Come in. I was just about to order some lunch. It’s so dreary out, I was thinking some kind of hot soup. Maybe pho or ramen? Chili? What do you think?”

Adore sighed happily, following Jinkx and flopping down beside her on the sofa. “Whatever you want sounds amazing. And thank you, I’m really sorry to keep bugging you like this.”

Jinkx kissed Adore on the forehead, picking up her phone. “Please don’t apologize. I love having you here.” She wrapped an arm around Adore from behind, nuzzling the back of her hair. “Stay as long as you want.”

Adore pulled a blanket around them and leaned back, closing her eyes. “I love you, Jinkxy,” she murmured blissfully.

“Me too, honey.” Jinkx said.

***

Holy shit, you guys! So apparently Li’l Courtney Act has at least one ex who did not delete the nudes from their phone after they broke up. In what appears to be incredibly suspicious timing (her album dropped like, YESTERDAY), some very racy photos hit the tabloids this morning. Uncensored versions are all over the web and damn, girl. (After the jump.)

So these pictures are clearly from a few years ago, back when she had the roots of a poor person and some obvious dorm room decor going on. (Unframed movie posters and loft bed? Classy, Court.) If it makes any difference, we think she’s hotter now, but that doesn’t mean we’re not saving these. For...science.

***

The cafeteria in the late morning was Pearl’s favorite place at work. The suits had all left, the Johns and Larrys and Michaels all gone to their respective offices. Pearl liked the peace, liked hiding from her employees and taking the time to sit and eat without anything bothering her. Pearl was checking her Instagram, slowly making her way through a banana when a shadow blocked her screen and someone sat down next to her.

“Hey, this table is taken asshol-” Pearl looked up, expecting one of the suits that she had somehow missed to have forced their way into her space, but as she looked up, she came face to face with... Violet?

“Hi...” Violet smiled slightly, the girl looking incredibly insecure. “I... Umh... Is someone sitting here?”

Pearl shook her head, slightly shocked that Violet was even talking to her. Violet was the queen of the cold shoulder, and her friend had barely acknowledged her existence for weeks.

“I got you this...” Violet held out a cup of coffee, Pearl realizing that she hadn’t said anything at all since Violet had started talking.

“You’re not mad anymore?”

“No...” Violet smiled slightly and shook her head. “I woke up this morning, and I couldn’t remember why I was mad at you, and when I remembered, I realised that all I wanted was to talk to my friend…” Violet sat down, Pearl quickly moving so there was space for Violet, the two sitting together. “I’m sorry I was so mad, and that I was mad for so long...”

“You kinda had the right to, I was being a dick.”

“You didn’t mean to.”

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t one.”

Violet held out the cup of coffee once again, a sigh of relief leaving her when Pearl accepted it, the two girls smiling at each other before Pearl started laughing.

***

Fame hugged Bianca tightly. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course, blondie. How are you?”

Fame avoided eye contact, dodging the question with an exuberant, “I bet Courtney is excited about tonight!”

“Yeah, well...I don’t know if ‘excited’ is the right word. She’s turned our bedroom into a zen monastery.”

Fame leaned her chin on her hand, eyes glittering dreamily. “Oh yeah?”

“What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“You said OUR bedroom,” Fame simpered.

Bianca cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I hate it when you get all touchy-feely. Why are we even talking about me? Aren’t we here to discuss your failing marriage?”

Fame straightened up. “Nice, Bianca.”

“Sorry.”

“Whatever,” Fame replied, as the waiter walked up. They gave their orders and then when she left, Fame was still avoiding eye contact.

“Fame...I really am sorry. How are you doing? Have you talked to him at all?”

Fame shook her head. “Nope.”

“And…?”

“And I’m miserable. I miss him so much. I hate the way we left things. The more I think about that last fight, the more regret I have about everything. He’s not perfect, not remotely, but he didn’t deserve to be treated the way I...he didn’t deserve that.” Fame’s voice was soft.

Bianca nodded. “Yeah, well, listen, it sounds like you might have to do our least favorite thing now.”

“What’s that?”

“Admit you fucked up. To him.”

Heaving a huge sigh, Fame shook her head. “I don’t even know if he’ll want to hear from me now.”

“How will you know if you don’t try?”

“I just...I think this may be bigger than the two of us. I may need reinforcements.”

“Like the fire department?”

“Like a couples therapist.”

Bianca scoffed. “Pfft, therapy is for whiny assholes who don’t know how to deal with their problems.”

Fame rolled her eyes. “Bianca, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I have never known someone more desperately in need of therapy than you in my entire life.”

“Don’t take that the wrong way? What way am I supposed to take that?”

“Well,” Fame began, “I mean, it’s an expression. Take it however you want. It’s true, though. You’ve got major issues.”

“What ‘issues’? My life is fucking awesome.”

“Right. Nevermind.” Fame rolled her eyes. “Aaanyway, where do you think I should suggest Patrick and I meet? I need somewhere neutral.”

***

“Trixie, what are we doing up here?” Ivy asked, trying not to let her extreme fear of heights take hold, as brisk autumn wind whipped her skirt around.

“/What/ are we doing up here, or what are /we/ doing up here?” Trixie responded coyly.

“Both!” Roxie exclaimed. Roxie wasn’t afraid of heights, and peered boldly off the edge of the roof. Holy shit, were they high up.

Gia yawned and examined her nails, and Betty crossed her arms, irritated. As relieved and happy as the design department was to have Trixie back, they were all still worn down and burned out from their months working under Bendela the Bitch, and had less patience than usual for his charming antics. The assistants were simply confused.

“Listen,” Trixie began, as he felt himself losing the crowd, “I know you guys have all had a very, very difficult few months. I’m really sorry for what you’ve all been through. I’m sorry I wasn’t here, and I’m sorry that you felt like you were, to put it simply, abandoned to live with an evil stepmother. She did a LOT of things wrong - basically she did everything wrong. The first thing was, she didn’t listen to any of you, or let you feel free to express yourselves creatively. As you all know, that is DEATH for a company like ours. The second thing was, she had you attempt to mass-produce what were supposed to be one of a kind couture garments. This put tremendous pressure and strain on all of you, and it also devalued the garments.”

“No shit,” Betty chimed in.

“Well, so, I thought...maybe today we could take care of both problems. Obviously, we need to get rid of the knock-offs. They are hastily made imitations of the originals and they shouldn’t be in the marketplace.” Trixie held up one of the jackets. “We’ll say there was a warehouse fire…” he grinned wickedly and poured a little lighter fluid into a large metal trash can. “And while we do this, we can vent, or yell, and get out all this negative energy, and start fresh on Monday.”

“Are you serious?!” Gia exclaimed.

“Yup! Let’s think of it as a cleansing ritual. Nothing more cleansing than fire, eh? So what do you say? It’s voluntary. No one has to participate.”

“Oh, I’m fucking IN!” Betty yelled, pumping her fist in the air.

April squealed and jumped up and down, clapping.

“And I think my friend Shane should do the first one. If he wants.” Trixie looked at Shane hopefully.

Shane had been standing beside Betty quietly. His eyes a little misty. He stepped forward and slowly took the jacket out of Trixie’s hand. Trixie helped him light a sleeve, then he tossed it into the bin and watched as the entire garment was engulfed in flames. “Burn, baby, burn!” he chanted, then turned to the group, eyes dancing with glee. “Who’s next?!”

***

Courtney paced around Bianca’s bedroom, muttering lyrics to herself, having totally given up on meditating. Ben appeared in the doorway, watching her for a few moments before startling her with, “Hello there, Sybil.”

Courtney nearly jumped out of her skin, whirling around. “Ben, you scared the FUCK out of me!”

“Just what are you doing?”

“I’m...I dunno.”

“I thought you were supposed to be having a relaxing day. What happened to your meditation stay-cation nonsense?” he asked.

“I can’t clear my mind, so I decided to drive myself nuts instead.”

“Sounds like a great idea. I don’t get it, didn’t your run through go great yesterday?”

“It was fine.” Courtney chewed on the inside of her cheek.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Okay, well, you need to stop stressing yourself out.”

“How?” Courtney fretted.

“Come play dress-up with me. I’m almost done with your Halloween costume…” he teased.

“Really?! I thought you said you’d be sewing it onto my body!”

“Yeah, well, I severely underestimated how bored I’d be living with you two. Now, come on, let’s see how much tailoring I need to do since you’ve lost inches in your waist and gained an actual female’s ass for the first time in your life.” Ben grabbed her hand and tugged her down the hall, and she followed him, laughing.

#galactica #au aag verse #rpdr fanfiction #my fics

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