#i am also working two jobs lol

[danisnotofire]

i am not meant to work!! i am such a mediocre employee and passionless and don’t caaaare about ANY OF IT!! and i’m lucky enough to be in a job that is objectively fun!!! i need to win the lottery and spend my days writing my silly little books

#i am also working two jobs lol #freelancing to learn skills #but like. fuck man #i don’t wanna do any of this #i literally work in games #and here i am

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all I generally don't give advice about work but I do have some advice for you today! If you, as a contractor, mess up doing something so spectacularly that you spent three days doing it wrong and it will take an additional three days undoing it before it can be done correctly, and you are calling the company you're contracted with to tell them: do NOT say during the same call where you are explaining your spectacular mistake that you are my "best [contractor]" and insist repeatedly that you are and keep pushing to try to get me to agree. Just don't.

#tj talks about work #so works going great guys #he kept insisting he was my best contractor! #I mean he did not use the word contractor #he used the job-specific term #but for reasons of not sharing company info and also not sharing personal details #contractor it is lol #like...dude! you are not my best contractor by any metric! #you are the guy who keeps asking if I am proud of him and then in an ominous way saying things like #'you've gotta treat me better you BETTER start treating me better I'm your best contractor! you don't have any better than me!' #so he's unpleasant to deal with and has made two incredibly 'can't believe someone did this' mistakes in two weeks #and one 'this is still pretty bad but more understandable that it would happen' mistake

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Saint of Bright Doors

a surreal Sri Lankan fantasy about colonialism, revolution, mixing fantasy with the modern world

follows a man raised by his mother to kill his father, a god-like cult leader

but as an adult he puts aside his life of violence and moves to the city for a quiet life

he becomes fascinated with ‘bright doors’ around the city that never open and have no other side, and joins a group studying them to find out more

and a support group for those with divine heritage that becomes increasingly revolutionary, until the task he was made for reemerges and his life upends

#the Saint of Bright Doors #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #this is kind of hard to explain I dont know if I did a very good job here lol #it is weird and full of so many interesting elements. I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it but?? I really liked it mostly??? #It starts pretty small scale focused on the MC & slowly unravels the wider worldbuilding and narrative elements in a really interesting way #The first chapter or two I assumed it was typical high fantasy but then it’s like. oh this is a modern city. with emails and stuff. #The pacing is a bit weird - it’s quite meandering and also pivots significantly in the second half. tbh I’m still ????? about the ending lm #but also I am happy to float through on vibes. #and there’s some elements (like the doors that become….not that relevant) that I want to know more about. (as an aside - I saw someone say #that it’s a very clear retelling about Buddha’s son? which idk enough about but probably could give a deeper context to a lot of it) #writing style is kinda detached from the MC but also there is a reason for this that makes sense with the twist near the end! #which is a kind of twist i LOVE. Maybe I wish it had been emphasised a bit more over the story though? unsure. #I thought his mother's story was interesting also - you think she's an terrible parent just there for background context at the start but #then when she tells her story it's like ohh there's more context here. #also I hesitate to just say ‘if you like the spear cuts-- you should read this’ because I think the elements that are similar are done in a #kinda different way and might disappoint you if you’re expecting it to be the same as spear….but regardless the sort of dreamy writing #rich world; narrative with fantasy but also modern day elements; some of the writing style; mlm MC (tho not a romance) #idk. it will definitely not work for everyone but I enjoyed it overall #also it is full of queerness #bisexual books

[alexturner2005]

just worked my last shift 🥳 it’s very weird to be closing a six year chapter of my life

#doesn’t totally feel like i’m not going back #it’s a dumpster fire there but it’s still a little bittersweet #my coworkers got me two cakes and a card with nice messages and flowers and an octopus plushie 🥺 #which is a reference to a particularly unhinged moment i was involved in lol #but my boss came in (he was supposed to be off) and gave me a project that kept me there an hour late 🙃 #had to make my job stressful all the way up to the very end #yesterday he sent a message saying i was the rock they all depend on and it’ll be difficult if not impossible to fill my shoes #which is nice and all but why didn’t he SHOW his appreciation while i worked there lol #instead of overworking me and passing me over for promotions #i haven’t even gotten a raise in a year and i’m pretty sure the last one was nine cents #anyway #i’m freeeee #came home ready to celebrate but my dad’s mad at me so now i’m eating alone lol #also i see miles joined am for 505 ajsskdjej i’ll catch up on that momentarily #truly an emotional roller coaster of a day

[pepprs]

genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim

#purrs #delete later #covid19 #i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill / #immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in #any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy #for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the #throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more) #disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in #ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and #healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to #school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist #anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to #access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i #HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i #need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have #that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way #it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator. #* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear #for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in #part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I #think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.

[databent]

[pained wailing emoji]

#.pdf #rd #THE REST OF THIS IS JSUT ME WHINING. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE #i dont wanna go to work ‼️‼️‼️ i feel like i am nearing a breaking point i am sofucking burnt out #every time i go to work. my brain gets Scary at me. stresses me out. dont like it ☹️ #im supposedto be going in tonigjt but im dreading it sososo much #my work hour options have changed from “fully flexible” to “7am-9pm only” whcih yeah i know that doesnt sound that bad. but i have non-24 #(circadian rhythm disorder that makes me sleep progressively later every day circling fully around the clock over ~3 weeks or so) #and bcos of it often i have to force myself out of bed in what my body thinks may as well be the middle of the night just to get to work #and then i dont ever get enough time to recover from that to actually let my sleep fall back into its natural schedule wjich is the only #time i feel properly rested. so essentially im chronically sleep deprived which is making me chronically stressed and way less productive #i just reslly really want to fucking save up a little money and just Not work for a week or two. bjt. with my sleep bullshit i cant really #work enough to be able to put anything aside. at all #so. kind of an unrealistic desire i guess. lol #ive been feeling like this ever since like early january when i was told i ahve to stick to a more normal schedule. & its only getting worse #idont know i just wishthere was something i could do that was fully flexible on timing but also doesnt havw the kind of workload that would- #-stress me out like basically anything with longer-term projects so ykmow Most flexible schedule jobs. #i do have one thing in mind i could do on my own but its dumb and probably wouldnt make much money and has startup costs i cant afford rn..

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I was actually having a pretty good day until just now :/

#i reread and made notes for two solid hours! 15k of words! #i went for a walk and got ransom a toy and stocked up on chocolate (my excuse is that sometimes when i'm feeling awful eating a bit of #chocolate helps lol and this stuff was 50% off) and generally had a good walk! #and i had a bath. first bath of the season! and i read like hafl of out of hte silent planet while i was bathing and it was wonderful! #mum made the BEST ginger pudding today! #so like. i've had a great day today! #so many blessings! #and now i just feel awful because i ate something and i wanna throw up and i mustn't #been struggling more with dealin w eating lately too at times and in the last week have been deviating from what the dietitian's been #encouraging me (variety) bc i couldn't deal with it #but today was a good day! a great day! and now i feel terrible for no apparent reason #yay me :/ #puddleglum hours #personal #incidentally am SO grateful for the job that requires me to wear short sleeves bc i know that by now i would've harmed deep enough to scar #on my arms as well if i hadn't had the knowledge that the next day id have to be at work w that. the reason this is coming up rn is #bc SURPRISE i rlly wanna harm #and i CAN'T my mother found my knife. honestly even having it htere whether or not i used it felt like it gave me an option even if i #didn't take it. it was a comfort. and now it feels awful not having it esp as idk when i'll get it back and also even worse my parents #litcherally gave me that knife for my last birthday. i don't know how mum feels about that #but yeah i just. i want to do smth drastic so bad #and i CAN'T #tw sh #i don't even know why #ugh

[theflyingfeeling]

stupid stupid stupid stupid I am so fucking stupid

(LONG rant in the tags. originally a little longer still but apparently there were too many tags so tumblr deleted the rest lol)

#ahahahaha so i applied for a (fixed-period) job that was like. right up my alley? #and i was one of the two applicants and they invited me to a Teams interview which was supposed to be last monday #but when i heard the other applicant is someone who's been working for them for the past semester i was like 🤡 #hmmmm i do wonder which one of us they'll hire!! 🙂 #and i was crushed because why can't things go my way for once #being a job-seeker in this area on my field is so stressful and depressing if you don't have the right connections #so i cancelled the interview with an email on the morning of the interview #because i just couldn't motivate myself to go even for practice. i just couldn't #i did consider calling the place and asking if the sitauation was like i suspected #but i didn't because i am not a fully functional adult ���️🤷‍♀️ #well. today i noticed that they have opened the position again 🤡 #which means that for one reason or another they're not going to hire the person who's been doing that exact job for them before? #and now i'm crying because lmao what kind of impression i'll be giving of myself #if i call them now and tell them why i cancelled the interview? #''yeah so i stood you up because i'm a hardened pessimist and thought i had no chance pls hire me lol'' #who's gonna want to hire a loser like this 🙃 a loser who couldn't even bother calling them like a normal adult would've #and also what if my employment agency finds out i didn't go to the interview? they could cancel my allowance ahahahahahAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA #god i hate being unemployed and i hate job seeking so much it hurts #my self-confidence is nowhere near it should be if you were actually to do well in job interviews etc. #''why do you think you'd be good for this job?'' I'M NOT! YOU'LL BE DEFINITELY BETTER OFF HIRING ANYONE ELSE!! #and some people's advice for job interviews be like ''just be yourself!'' like honey no #if i'm myself at a job interview absolutely no one's gonna want me ahaha #job-seeking is just so fucking crushing and humiliating #like. when you're studying and you have an exam? you can study for it as hard as you can and try to do your best #and you'll get the grade you deserve. if someone gets the highest grade it doesn't effect YOUR chance to get the highest grade as well #but when applying for a job? you can write a splendid application text and answer the interview questions as best as you can #but if there's another applicant that's significantly more qualified or experienced than you they WILL be hired over you #so you can try your best and IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH #and that's why i didn't go to the job interview. because i wanted to protect myself from that heartbreak again #doing the best i can and still not getting the job

[shadyhouse]

have any of you guys ever worked with a temp agency and do you recommend it

#i dont have a car but there are ..... Three temp agencies near me so im hoping maybe they could help me find something in the area #and also i do not want to apply for jobs i am so fucking burnt out on applying for jobs but i need money lol #commissions have been slow this month bc there were TWO furry cons within a couple weeks of each other so no one is commissioning anything #art is still my main gig but i need a part time job to pay the bills when it doesnt work out lol

[tiredbiostudent]

august!

#got a new tent and I’m in love😭 #I’m going backpacking next week and I’m SO pumped even if it’s supposed to be thunderstorming the first two days 😩 lol #life update is that I’ve mostly just been trying to organize my life after being gone for work for like 3 months #and I’m practicing driving a lot bc my test is at the end of the month😭 it’s going better than I thought but still stressful #also going to college in the fall and still not sure how to feel about it LMAO #i think I’m just worried I’m not gonna make any friends the entire year and I’m gonna hate it and have the program be a waste of time #I’m sure it’ll be fine?🥴 #and I’m STILL contemplating about doing a masters shdhdhdg #bc ok I loved the job I had this summer and would happily do contract field bio jobs for the rest of my life but unfortunately it’s not very #stable and doesn’t pay super well so at some point I’m going to need to get a more formal job which I might need an MSc for :/ we’ll see #the idea of research and /being/ a grad student is so appealing but then I think about the actual work I’d have to do and it’s like um my #i always feel like shit in august and am so yugh because it’s friggen hot and there’s nothing to do and I have definitely been feeling that #(also because I miss work and being up north) #but I just scrolled through my ‘insp’ instagram saved posts and Pinterest board and am acc feeling good today hshdhdgxhd #like you know when you’re just excited about life 🥰✨ hehe #omg sorry for this I guess I just needed to dump my thoughts out onto the ground for everyone #mine

[arellas]

i mean obv it would be bad for anyone to say it but being told repeatedly that im getting fat by a man who isn’t exactly peak male form either is kinda laughable idk idk

#tw fatshaming #? i guess #when i told him this btw he said he was “’too busy’ for the gym like bro i’m doing as much work as you #if not more. #but wow in the midst of college my two jobs my mba exam coaching my group research project and my individual project #let me just make sure i am skinny enough for his liking lol 🙄 #the funny part is he asked me out and i rejected him like damn wasn’t too chubby then was i #also this is the second time in like five days that he’s told me this like he REALLY wants me to know i’m fat #like i already know and i don’t care lol

[lunapwrites]

.

#if these good boy points i'm racking up do not translate into $$ #i am selling everything i own and disappearing into the woods #i don't know how i got roped into doing three people's jobs this week #but i hate it #it is 8:30pm and i am just now getting to eat my burrito #which is cold #do you know how sad a cold burrito is #i know in theory i could reheat it but it's THE PRINCIPLE #at least whatshisface comes back after this week #then i'm only working two full time jobs at once. #and then only for one more week #and then i am free. i hope. please for the love of god. #bc we were already juggling too many things before i did this #i'm now also juggling HER too many things on top of my own #that's too many too many things. too many things squared. #a frankly irresponsible amount of things #please send help lol #lp bitches #lp talks

[whentherewerebicycles]

ok reworked a big chunk of my cover letter and then ran out of steam (I have slept… so badly all week) but I’m feeling positive about it. I really don’t want to spend a ton of time obsessing over it so I’m going to try to finish it tomorrow after my morning meetings. I have an annoying work meeting first thing (about the situation I rage-cried about earlier today) but then I get to follow it up with a meeting with my all-time fave student. those calls always leave me feeling sooo happy and energized so I should be in a great headspace for finishing the letter. I ideally want to submit tomorrow but if I feel the materials aren’t quite there for whatever reason I’ll allow myself the weekend to tinker. I am qualified for this job! and pretty sure I would greatly enjoy literally every aspect of it!! cross your fingers for me!!!

#i feel so braindead tonight #it’s the insomnia/fragmented sleep but also the exhaustion of this stupid work thing #i got so livid and then so emotional and it made me so tired!! #but i also had a gorgeous arboretum walk with my sister on the most beautiful day of the winter so far #I think I’m going to heat up some chili and then finish the pod #i keep saying that lol and then it takes soooo much longer than I expect but #I’m close #ANYWAY #please let me get this job I want to be back in a university so bad #bring me the familiar dysfunction #i wish 2 resubmerge myself in it fully #also I am going to spend all my time at work fantasizing about telling [redacted] someday that I’m giving my two weeks’ notice

[earthssprout]

genuinely all I want to do is curl up in my bed & read 😴

#( ❀ | ooc ) #( I have such little energy lately ... though that's probably due to a myriad of reasons 😭 #life is chaotic beyond the screen 🥺 school starts soon & I am extremely excited for it! #idc if that statement ages like milk I'm excited NOW 😭🌷 #but I'm also working a lot & just put my two weeks in at one of my jobs 🌻 #been a long time coming but still a somewhat emotional experience if I'm honest ... 😔 #there's so much I WANT to do before school starts but I think I'm overloading my plate 😳🍃 #I have to make some necessary sacrifices--which is hard to do when everything feels equally important ... #the dash has been quiet lately & I feel like everyone is just super chill right now 😭 if that's truly the case #then I'm so happy for us LOL let's curl up in blanket burritos & ferment together #if I'm quiet in other places as well this is Exactly Why 😭 )

[lookedlikethebins]

finished 1 of 2 projects for work (fucking finally lol) and i can already feel the stress lifting from my body and my brain leaving grind-survival mode. just went to make tea and before i could even fill the kettle up i scrambled stopped to write down an idea/scene that Came To Me In A Vision. we're SO BACK folks!

#the JOY i felt when my brain suddenly formed some original prose for MY work and not someone else's?????? #like... wow i feel so much better its crazy i ALMOST want to stay up and write something tonight 👀👀 #but i KNOW i need to get some sleep so i can finish pt 2 tomorrow and then be down to two jobs again lol #and replace the time i carved out for job three with... writing fic bc i AM an adult and i CAN do that #and bc it's FUN and i miss it already!! #so many ideas and ive had to WAIT bc of work (plural) booo #also... 🩷🚪 hi yes i had a vision... #del #personal

[pepprs]

2 back to back interviews for the job of all time in less than an hour moodboard

#purrs #genuinely think im about to be sick x. but it’ll all be over soon and then i can sleep and cry and after that i can be normal and respond to #everyones messages from the last 6 months because im normal 💖 #like the way that. this is my entire fucking life on the line lol xD. this is my entire fucking life on the line and if someone else gets th #this job or if they find me unfit for the position i WILL be entering 7 week mindy netifee when it falls lockdown. because that is unbearabl #unbearable and also this ENTIRE experience is unbearable. the absolute embarrassment of a position being created that is a continuation of #your exact role and the description of an ideal candidate being written to fit YOU PERSONALLY and then the job being advertised to other #people and also your colleague besties interviewing you for it and having to pretend you don’t know them and they don’t know you. lole lawl #lel. the psychological damage this is going to give me 🥰 but im grateful this is happening ofc and i do think it will work out. but also i a #am experiencing lethal doses of cortisol surging through my bloodstream so i am unable to be anything but a cornered prey animal #also i have two interviews byw and one of them is with an administrator who im cool w but she scares me so. yeah 🥰 and i literally have such #a vendetta against student affairs as it is rn and she’s totally gonna ask me why i want to be an sapro and it’s like uhm no this is patrick