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seawardboundsammy · 3 months

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started writing in between classes and im deeply obsessed with orpheus parallels with ortega/chargestep so have this. warning for ortega being inebriated and wanting to die.

Time to rise Orpheus. The day breaks and you with it.

(I don’t want to. Don’t make me.)

That’s not an option. Get up Orpheus.

(I have no legs. I have no hands.)

You will be repaired, doll of lyres.

(I don’t want to be. I want to lay here and die.)

Scio, sweetheart.

(Will I see her again?)

Only on her deathbed.

(I don’t think I can do this anymore.)

You will.

Get up Orpheus.

Get up-

“Ortega! Get down from there!”

Chen pulls you off the ledge of the building you guess you were climbing over. You're not really sure.

You’re downstairs now. Your arm is over Chen’s shoulders.

“-tega! What did you drink? Can you even hear me?”

You’re nauseous.

You’re not nauseous anymore.

“Ok that’s. That can be someone else’s problem, come on.”

He lifts you once more. He’s good at that. He does is a lot when you fuck up or do something stupid which is always cause you’re a poor excuse for man.

You snuggle into the passenger seat of his car. It’s cozy, it smells like him. You don’t smell good.

“Drink this.” He says. He tips your head back and water pours into your mouth.

You do your level best to not choke.

You’re on the wrong side of your couch. This is Eurydice’s spot, not your’s.

Sidestep. Sidestep’s spot.

You shake your head, the smallest bit of clarity returning to your vision and mind. Chen has pulled a chair from the kitchen to sit in front of you. His expression swims but you think he’s concerned. Not a clue why.

“So. ‘Never gonna drink again?’” You spit onto the carpet and he grimaces.

“Don’t know what you expect from someone like me. When’s my word ever meant shit?” You wonder if you could get him to punch you.

“You- I’m not entertaining this. You need to get your shit together.” He doesn’t say ‘before you end up dead’, but you hear it anyway. Or maybe that’s you saying it.

You let your head tip back over the couch. He wants you to try. You don’t know how.

Yes you do. Rise from your corner.

But you’re already so far gone.

Then go all the way. Pursual when you cannot see your target is what you do best. Find them.

They’re not dead.

No.

They’re dead.

Not to you.

I already failed them.

Then fail again.

Isn’t the definition of madness trying the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome?

No, that’s a misconception. And anyways, when has that ever stopped you before?

Fair.

Now tell him something so he doesn’t send you to a madhouse.

You look back at Chen. His clenched teeth twist his scars on his lips and his hands are clasped together so tight you swear you hear the creak of metal. You slump forward, uncoordinated, and put one of your hands on his.

“I’ll tell my… therapist,” the word is still a rock in your mouth, “about. This.” You’re not sure if you mean the drinking or the climbing.

That’s not true.

Yeah well fuck you I’m not getting sent to a madhouse. I’m not crazy.

Then what’s this?

“That’s good.” Chen breathes out in a long relieved sigh. “That’s good.”

You tug him off the chair and into a hug. You know he can feel your heartbeat through your shirt, and you know he needs that.

Out of his view you stare daggers into the wall. You’re determined (for now). You have to find them again.

Miles to walk Orpheus.

And promises to keep.

#i am asking you to endure it''#also the last three lines are pulled from robert frost's ''Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening #this is far from my only thoughts on him and orpheus #might post this to ao3 even though its short just for organization purposes #he makes me. insane.#this was written in like. an hour.#significantly inspired by intactics'#sammy speaks #fallen hero #fhr ortega #ricardo ortega #fhr #fallen hero rebirth #fhr chen #he's here a little at least #also this is very much unedited #oh also! very much inspired by disco elysium skill conversations #sammy writes

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fallahifag · 4 months

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how can you go on posting your silly little boyfriend things and your jokes when a genocide is still happening to palestinians

lmaooo y’all are quick. i just posted ONE PHOTO a few minutes ago.

how can you expect me (a palestinian affected by said genocide) not to still have a normal life? you do realize that this type of violence has been known to me since birth. we learn to live with it along our fight. we still live while we fight .

i am a palestinian who is affected by this but i’m also a person who has a right to live without constantly having to argue my right of existence. it may be “silly little boyfriend things” to you but its one of the only good things in my life right now and i am allowed to share that. sometimes you need a breath of fresh air

#idk did u expect me to never get personal on my personal blog #i am not a news channel #also this makes it sound like i’ve been completely silent which i obv haven’t #and you don’t know ME and my life and what’s been going around with my family behind the scenes and how much loss i endured recently #i’m still allowed to share little moments of joy #ask #anon

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71eh · 1 year

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original sin

#orv #omniscient reader’s viewpoint #hankim #yoo joonghyuk #han sooyoung #art #my art #mine #something something writing yjh to save one person and condemning so many more smth smth i am asking you to endure smth smth #you will go through all of this pain and suffering. and i will share your burden. and it will all be worth it for that One Person #ig kind of yoohankim but. u know.#eyestrain

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eesirachs · 6 months

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Why do u think he exists?

I stopped believing when I was around ten because I link family and Catholicism unconsciously and I was assaulted by someone in my family at that age, but now, there's something that feels not finished or wrong with how I feel about God and I don't know how to mend it

because he is sitting next to me right now. he won't stop talking about how much he loves you. and he says you can take your time before you call him again. he gets it

#i see god everyday in so many things and people #but you do not have to #i am sorry for the pain you've endured #ask

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cashmere-caveman · 7 months

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ur last reblog, the "i am asking you to endure it" one. hwi to seonho in that one scene u know. THAT scene. also maybe seonho when hwi was sent to war. maybe a thesis of their entire relationship with each other actually. i am sick and insane can u tell

(⬇️context for this ask in case anyones wondering )

so true anon this IS their entire relationship thesis actually.... seon-ho asking hwi to endure the war bc he cannot see him dead. hwi in liaodong asking seon-ho to endure the guilt bc he cannot see him dead. hwi in nam manor asking seon-ho to endure his blood on his hands bc even if he plans to die himself he cannot see seon-ho dead. seon-ho in -

#listen i could go on but yea. yea. u get it #also if this is u rhaenys-queenofkhyrulzz u can come off anon i dont bite #if it is someone else i wont bite u either #my country: the new age #also i couldnt possibly have listed all instances but ofc an extra special shoutout to hwi in the opium den asking seon-ho to endure life #their relationship boils down to 'ik ur life sucks and it is at least partially my fault and ik u wanna die but please dont. i need u'#'even if we never speak again even if u wont ever look at me again i need u to stay alive. i need to know u are alive. '#'i am sorry to ask this and i know this is a burden but can u do it. can u please stay alive and be it out of spite but please. i beg you.'#nam seon-ho #seo hwi #seonhwi

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fedorah-the-explorah · 3 months

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Your WIP title game is far superior to mine. Number 6 is a brilliant way to explain the uphill battle her friends have to get her home.

rue. rue. rue please I'm screaming. I think I changed the post in-between you sending this ask, bc number 6 was originally my working title for The Double Agent Caper. I changed and removed it (as well as number 7) bc I felt like it was cheating to include a wip that's already been posted. well. now number six is "heterosexuality should be outlawed" and I think the implications here are hilarious. the most fucked up thing evil!carmen did was not theft or battery or even attempted murder. it was engaging in heterosexuality 😭😭

#THANK YOU FOR THE ASK #and omg ty im so proud of my title game #i love coming up with stupid ass titles before sitting down to endure the horrors (writing)#carmen sandiego 2019 #speaking of the dac #that is infact the fic i am actively procrastinating as i waste time on tumblr #i need someone to smack me #shut up suzie

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strigital · 3 months

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girl help i'm down bad for yet another escaped slave with a traumatic past on a quest to tear his former master limb from limb whilst simultaneously learning to be free again, slowly remembering how to trust and embarking on a journey of healing and spiritual growth 😔

nah but fr the lizardman bootleg garrus vakarian has me in a chokehold and every time this brick house of a reptile does or says anything next to my microscopic gremlin of a bosmer i literally die every time

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royalreef · 7 months

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(( Merfolk are hypersocial macropredators. This shouldn't be new information to anyone on my blog, but the sheer extent of merfolk sociability cannot be overstated. Their social nature is the entire reason they were able to become and specialize into macropredatory niches in the way that they have. Their close relatives, the leviathans, are an excellent example of what merfolk might have become if they didn't have their intense communal proclivities — being much more typical, expected examples of a secondarily aquatic large marine predator akin to marine reptiles of the past and whales of the present. Without their social bindings, merfolk might have entirely lost their hands for flippers, would lack their heightened connection to sound and language, and certainly wouldn't have shaped the ecosystems and the world they inhabit in the same way.

For this, merfolk relationships are complicated. They started as a way of forming a simple hunting group and handling life in large colonies, but as merfolk specialized further, so too did their relationships. More and more they focused on interpersonal politics and the complications of maintaining a large social group that was constantly evolving and shifting, which fostered the growth of their intelligence and sapience, which then led back even moreso into needing the ability to maintain and keep up with their relationships.

A merfolk in isolation is not a merfolk at all. While the exactness of this thought varies across their different cultures, it still holds true for all of them. On a literal level, merfolk can and do die of loneliness, their social needs as much of a requirement to them as the need for food or water. If you were to isolate a merfolk, to the point where they could not hear nor see anyone else, then they would endure a brutal one or two weeks, and then die. Every other need can be met, they can be otherwise entirely healthy, but without anyone else around, they cannot live.

On the more metaphorical level, a merfolk cannot exist solely on their own. Most merfolk cultures accept that the individual does not exist, and that there has to be some outside dialogue with other merfolk in order for them to even be alive. The self and identity are inherently plural to them, a multifaceted soul which exists in the bodies and lives of merfolk in a group, and which can't be broken down. Maintaining relationships and fostering them is as essential as feeding yourself, or feeding someone else.

For all of this, merfolk require much higher amounts of social interaction and connection. This is not to say that introverted merfolk do not exist, but they would be introverted by the measure of their fellow merfolk, and not by what humans might judge them to be. Much like how even the most introverted human could not endure the life of a solitary snake or spider, an introverted merfolk could not endure the life of an introverted human. Similarly, even an extroverted human could not compare against an extroverted merfolk.

Likewise, not every social interaction is the same to merfolk, and they maintain different emotional connections with different people, fulfilling a wider assortment of social needs. In fact, it is easiest to think of merfolk social structure as being like one large, interwoven, piece of lace, where each individual merfolk is represented by a single knot. They are all tied together into larger pieces, repeating patterns, all working together to create a singular, complex web of all the ways every merfolk is connected to every other merfolk.

For this, merfolk have different names for each different pattern, each different part at different scales and sizes. All are important, even if some are closer and tied nearer to the individual merfolk in question, and require greater maintenance to keep healthy.

These patterns and connections are, by far, what is most important to a merfolk. While merfolk are fully capable of experiencing platonic, familial, romantic, and sexual connections, it should be stated that this is not what the relationship hierarchy is based off of. They might be a part of that connection, but the connection itself and the place it occupies within the hierarchy is of far greater importance to a merfolk, to the extent that all else pales before it. Any point and connection within this web might be platonic, or familial, or romantic, but even a romantic connection to a merfolk might mean nothing against a platonic or familial connection if the latter outranks the former on their hierarchy of relationships.

Hence, from the smallest unit to the largest, this is (approximately) what the merfolk hierarchy of relationships looks like:

Yuu'itv + Ul’kiha

This can be thought of as the singular knot, as the individual merfolk themselves. This is what is most familiar to landfolk, as it typically does not refer to any more than one merfolk.

To the merfolk themselves, however, this is more theoretical and functional than a real part of their relationship hierarchy to be maintained. This is the building block of identity, the pieces which make up one true self, but pieces which are not as concerning or deserving of as much time as the selfhood itself.

The exception, as you might have noticed, is the inclusion of ul'kiha at this rung. Ul'kiha (in the common-technical language) is loosely translated as the water that runs through someone's gills, but in the plural. Less literally, it refers to a shared breath, a breathing as one. A shared body, in less flowery terms. Soulmates, in the easiest localization.

In short, an ul'kiha is another merfolk and individual who is so close to another merfolk that they are thought of as one person. A plural-becoming-singular, if you might. Other merfolk will treat two ul'kiha as the same person, talk to them as the same person, view their relationships to them as one person. It represents the tightest, closest bond any merfolk can have.

For this, ul'kiha are rare. Most merfolk will never take an ul'kiha in their lives, and for those that do, taking more than one is next to unheard of. Ul'kiha is, likewise, the only instance where a rung in the relationship hierarchy is solely romantic, and the only true crossover between the relationship hierarchy and humanity's views on relationships. While half of ul'kiha will refuse to take any other romantic partner, this is not comparable to marriage either, as the intensity of this connection could be thought of as codependent in a way that's natural for merfolk but doesn't occur in human relationships. While ul'kiha can split up, if one ul'kiha dies and the other doesn't, the living partner is expected to never take another ul'kiha again, and quite often the loss is enough to kill them too.

Miivt'ia

These are the first few knots the initial knot is tied to, and the first true rung on the relationship hierarchy.

In a sense, the miivt'ia is a merfolk's inner circle. These are the people who they are closest to in their lives, who they have a unique and potent bond with. A miivt'ia, likewise, is a group which is exclusive to itself, and all the members of a miivt'ia will feel the same way about each other, and count themselves in each other's miivt'ia.

The closest example we might have to what a miivt'ia is would be the concept of a friend polycule. None of the members inside a miivt'ia are exclusively platonic, familial, romantic, nor sexual with each other, but they have a tight and exclusive bond which is solely shared amongst each other. In fact, each member of the miivt'ia might feel differently about every other member of the miivt'ia and have their own, unique dynamic with every other member, but all are united in the closeness given by being members of the miivt'ia.

Miivt'ia are often formed right as a merfolk is first growing up. Family members can be included in the miivt'ia, but not always, and those included are almost always siblings, cousins, or others who are similarly close in age. Childhood friendships that begin to deepen often become a part of the miivt'ia, as are the most serious of relationships. However, miivt'ia can also be created outside of these formative years, and there are many miivt'ia that essentially act like guilds or a "family" business, being closer than mere coworkers but sharing the same job.

Miivt'ia are the people with whom a merfolk has near-constant contact with. They are expected to live together, and often will share the same job, or similar jobs. All of their personal belongings are considered as belonging to the miivt'ia over any individual, and legally the miivt'ia is the individual upon which laws apply to. A merfolk without a miivt'ia is effectively homeless, and spiritually merfolk consider the miivt'ia to be the soul. Merfolk that go through the Coral Festival (Habp'll pl'qe ane'jhe Oikahj) will go through it together with their miivt'ia. Any children the miivt'ia has or adopts is considered the child of everyone else in the miivt'ia, the members all acting as parents and considering themselves equally as responsible in the care for that child. Miivt'ia are not only expected to be constantly in contact with each other and to participate in everything together, but they are expected to care equally about every other member of the miivt'ia and to feel each other's emotions as one.

For all of this, merfolk are highly loyal to their miivt'ia and will defend the members of their miivt'ia with their life. Any threat to any other member of the miivt'ia is considered a direct threat to all other members and to the individual merfolk's lives, and the loss of any member of the miivt'ia is mourned by all others to the highest degree.

There is a lot of responsibility placed upon those included in the miivt'ia, but the miivt'ia also has an emotional closeness and intimacy that isn't shared by any other merfolk in the relationship hierarchy (except the ul'kiha, see above). Being too overtly close and intimate with a merfolk can be seen as not respecting the miivt'ia and be seen as a threat to the security of the miivt'ia. Likewise, if someone wishes to join a miivt'ia, they will often endure a "courting" phase with all the members of the miivt'ia, where they attempt to forge connections equally as close to and intimate with every other member.

Dhe'jny'p usae

If the miivt'ia was the smallest initial pattern any relationship can have in the larger weave, then the dhe'jny'p usae is the actual shape of that pattern, when something becomes not just an oval, but a petal on a flower.

Dhe'jny'p usae, in common-technical language, is closest translated to "drift family". Humans might recognize the dhe'jny'p usae as being something similar to friends. They are not as close as the miivt'ia, but they might represent the next nearest thing, being a close emotional connection with associated responsibilities. The dhe'jny'p usae would be the closest other miivt'ia to the existing miivt'ia, acting as neighbors or close-knit family. If the miivt'ia had children, then they would be expected to provide care and look after those children alongside their own, and would cycle wider, communal responsibilities with the miivt'ia. Miivt'ia and members of the miivt'ia would hang out with and spend a lot of time with their dhe'jny'p usae, and this forms the base of wider merfolk sociability.

While the dhe'jny'p usae would be excluded from the private, domestic matters of the miivt'ia, they might still be gone to for emotional reassurance, or to simply have someone to talk to. Dhe'jny'p usae are expected to help in providing food for each other, and will switch out communal duties that require a layer of intimacy with each other, and legally are considered very similar entities. While they wouldn't share all personal belongings like the miivt'ia, they might share what counts for money, and be responsible for dividing it up among themselves. Dhe'jny'p usae, likewise, might live together in larger communal houses and share chores among themselves, but this might be considered closer to the individual members of a household, and its not as intensely expected for them to live together as the miivt'ia.

Dhe'jny'p usae are likewise the most common place to find what we might think of as typical merfolk romantic relationships. Dhe'jny'p usae more easily come and go, leaving and entering a merfolk's life, not solely remaining there for life like the miivt'ia, and for that, it's not uncommon for merfolk to have romantic and sexual relationships with their dhe'jny'p usae.

Faa'nek hus'llu

If the dhe'jny'p usae were the equivalent to people living in the same house, the faa'nek hus'llu is closer to the neighbors. These are acquaintances, support-friends, those that they are close to, though they maintain a degree of separation. If the dhe'jny'p usae was a flower, then this is the daisy chain, the interlocking patterns which form a distinct function.

More than anything else, the faa'nek hus'llu can be thought of as the connective tissue. They bridge the gap between the intensely bound and closely connected dhe'jny'p usae and miivt'ia, and the wider social community of merfolk. They do not bear the brunt of the emotional responsibility and are free to come and go in any merfolk's life as they please, but there is still a degree of familiarity here, a sense of belonging. While dhe'jny'p usae might live in the same communal house, faa'nek hus'llu live in the same town, neighborhood, community. The responsibilities they bear are far more physical, often serving as shifting turns for communal guard or repair duties, ensuring that everyone gets their turn taking care of everyone else.

The downside is that faa'nek hus'llu enjoy far less emotional connection and intimacy. What is shared and offered is far more obvious and physical, and far less detailed than that which other, closer relationships would receive. They might know someone is tired, and they might know someone is in grief after losing a member of their miivt'ia, but they wouldn't be able to navigate the emotional complexity beneath that. Trying to do so can be seen as a threat, either to your own dhe'jny'p usae and miivt'ia, or to theirs, demanding familiarity which has not been earned nor received.

A'antiu Muur'l

This is the far end of any merfolk's immediate social connections. The a'antiu muur'l is not merely the knot, nor the petal, nor the flower, nor the daisy chain, but the sides of the lace itself, the largest part that fits together with all others.

This is the community as a whole. It is a town, a city, a city-block, more of a legal entity than a social one but a social one nonetheless. The a'antiu muur'l is far more location-based than the other rungs on the relationship hierarchy, and merfolk only truly change their a'antiu muur'l with a change of physical location. The a'antiu muur'l is the community from which community names are given, and the a'antiu muur'l is to the commonfolk what a royal lineage is to a royal.

The a'antiu muur'l in common-technical best translates to "song family", and to a merfolk, this is because it is intended to include everyone that a single merfolk might hear at any given time. They are strangers to the individual merfolk, sure, but they are all singing together and speaking at the same time, and working to build the same song together to flesh out life and the place in which they live, so there is a degree of emotional connection. It is abstracted emotional connection, yes, but it is emotional connection all the same.

Merfolk might even include physical landmarks as part of their a'antiu muur'l, such as in the case of their singing buildings, or for a particularly endearing local landmark. This can include a large reef, or mountain, or entire mountain range, but so too can it include the one weird shady area where all the kids hang out that the adults don't want them near.

Ghray Uw'ghta Faahl

In common-technical language, the ghray uw'ghta faahl means "all-body". It is far more theoretical than the others, being spoken of to promote a sense of universal connection, but is not something that's quite so easily envisioned in turn.

In essence, the ghray uw'ghta faahl refers to all merfolk. All of their connections, each a'antiu muur'l, each faa'nek hus'llu, each dhe'jny'p usae, each miivt'ia, and each yuu'itv. Each and every merfolk is included, down through time, because each and every merfolk has had an emotional connection, and thus each and every merfolk fits into the ghray uw'ghta faahl.

Thus, the responsibilities here are far more abstracted, and far more represent the responsibilities all merfolk have to each other. This includes their hospitality culture, yes, but far moreso it includes a sense a dignity and a need to recognize that each merfolk has someone else and belongs somewhere within the ghray uw'ghta faahl. It's a source of recognition, and of community, and of understanding.

How much it actually fulfills that role, as ever, varies, but the thought and theory and gesture is still there, all the same.

#Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Given by Divine Right || Headcanons #And no matter what you choose‚ you're gonna live it || Wishlist #(( i am going to reread over this later and edit it then but #(( i am posting this NOW it is DONE i dont want to LOOK AT IT ANYMORE #(( BEHOLD. THE MERFOLK RELATIONSHIP HIERARCHY.#(( AKA WHY MIRANDA IS SO CONSTANTLY WEIRD AND PUT-DOWN ALL THE TIME #(( AND ENDURES UNREQUITED FEELINGS FOR HER FRIENDS THAT ARENT ROMANTIC NOR PLATONIC BUT SOME SECRET THIRD THING #(( do you realize the hell shes been going through. do you See.#(( and yes if you ask me i know exactly where each and every muse is on this hierarchy for miranda #(( yes this does have consequences and is part of why she acts the way that she does

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misty-wisp · 3 months

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did something big to make you dislike omori or was it just the hyperfixation wearing off

Like I personally am not here for omori stuff but I am curious (don’t answer this if you don’t want to idk)

i kinda just realized the game's writing sucks ass and the fandom is kinda lame and there's better stuff out there, LMAO

like don't get me wrong the game's well-crafted (for the most part) but the story and character writing is the weakest part. what fans assume is its strong character writing is mainly due to their own headcanons, theories, and interpretations and not what's clear-cut in the dialogue and events. there are some small details? but only so much. hell, even i fell into this trap. also omocat's a shit person lolololololololol

i think i also got super tired of the way the fandom's shaped. since it's a newer fandom, it's bound to have a lot of kids. and kids don't know a thing about what makes fandom good. from what i see (and from what others have observed iirc) modern fandoms have this issue where all the "content" is supposed to come from popular or skilled creators--not just fans in general. sure, you can draw, write, and share whatever you've got, but if you're not popular, super skilled in digital art, or just straight-up lucky, you're likely not going to get anywhere aside from a couple of notes here and there. and that's usually if the more popular blogs notice you. i can go on and on about how this is capitalism's fault but then we'd be here all day and i'd be biting off a lot more than i can chew and/or talking out of my ass

what i mean by this is, if you're going to craft a super long, arc-filled AU fanfic that serves as a sort of sequel to the source, and you're not popular or willing to bust your ass drawing art for it, do not go into it with dreams of people talking about how great the writing is and sharing their fanart outside of your friend or mutual circle. i had a wholeass crisis around the lack of attention i got despite what i thought was hard work in around june and lord almighty i think that's what really solidified my loss of interest.

also it's got that issue where if a fandom can't sustain itself on what's found in canon it's going to drown itself in AUs where the characters are completely unrecognizable and these people need to come up with OCs for the love of god. i'll admit my AU probably fell under this trap too but my glasses were too rose-tinted for me to see it

i think the main thing is just that it's really hard for me to draw or write for myself if it's a huge project i'm working on, so i'm really just sticking to RPing out longass narratives with my partner. and god that's been so much more enjoyable than posting chapters and getting like, minimal comments and reblogs on them. highly recommend

part of it's probably also got to do with an ex-friend of mine who used to be my beta reader? but hoooly shit that's a whole other tale i can spend ages covering

#ask #Anonymous #and i am planning on adapting the rp to fanfic form but that is explicitly after the arc is completely written out #(game of endurance is an example of this. that was like a warm-up for us both to get back into writing)#so like. posting is a complete afterthought and all i have to worry about is just. responding. which isn't even a worry bc my partner-#-is really kind and patient with me. i can forget to respond for a month due to depression and they'd understand and support me #i love them sm #(haha you fool! this was all a trick to give me an excuse to gush about my partner >:P)

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