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#i am trying so hard but we're still. here
oneforthemunny · 1 day
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EVIEEEEE i’m fucking feral over janitor!eddie rn 🥵 how about this for the blurb game:
janitor!eddie, fluff/smut, maternity lingerie
ur welcome 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
oooh you're about to send the girlies into HEAT!!!! ahhh!!! slightly smutty a little sweet bc how could it not be??? minors dni
"I feel disgusting." You huffed, looking down at your swollen abdomen, your swollen hands, swollen ankles. You felt like a giant balloon, ready to pop, but still so far away from release. Seven months, two more to go, and you weren't sure how you were going to do it.
Lisa frowned at you. "Well, you look good." She countered. "Glowing."
You rolled your eyes, letting your shoulders roll. "You're lying." You muttered. "I'm just sweating. That's not a glow."
Lisa laughed. "You're so hard on yourself! You look amazing!" She insisted. "You're glowing, and you've got the cutest fucking bump in the world!"
You looked down at your overalls, your bump snug against them. "I don't know why you think you look bad. I've seen people who look bad during pregnancy- I looked bad during pregnancy. Believe me, it's not you. You look radiant."
"I'm swollen. I'm disgusting." You shook your head. "I know Eddie has got to be exhausted from all my mood swings. I know I am."
Lisa's lips pursed in thought. "When was the last time you and Eddie had sex?"
"Lisa-" You hissed, looking around at the tables of people around you.
"Seriously. When was the last time you did? Nothing makes you feel prettier than getting some loving." She winked at you. "Put on something sexy and seduce your husband."
You shook your head, looking down at the table. "I don't think Eddie would find this hot." You muttered, nodding down at your bump.
Lisa scoffed. "Have you met Eddie? He worships you." She rolled her eyes, grabbing her tea. "Let's go. We're going shopping for you."
Later that night, Lisa had insisted Ollie come over for a sleepover with her son, giving you a wink before she left.
"Guess we have the night to ourselves." Eddie smiled sweetly. "Do you want me to make you something? Or do you want to try and finish the nursery?"
You shifted nervously. "Um, not tonight." You muttered. "I was kinda thinking we could maybe spend some time together?" Your eyes met his.
Eddie beamed, lighting with excitement, soothing your jittery nerves. He was still there, still your husband, the same love of your life he was before. "Yeah, that sounds great, sweetheart." Eddie hummed, stepping closer to you. "What do you have in mind?"
"I, um, I actually bought something." Your voice shook slightly, swallowing to steady it. "I want to show it to you."
"Yeah?" Eddie's brows raised.
You nodded. "Stay right here." You pointed to the couch. "I-I'll be right back."
The lingerie wasn't as sexy as what you usually bought, but it was still pretty. You spun in the mirror, the fluttering babydoll lace top swaying with you. A matching pair of panties, blush and lace to match the top, that weren't the usual thongs. A little more covering that what you were used to, but looking at yourself in the mirror, you hated to admit Lisa was right but...
You felt pretty. Sexy, even.
You only hoped Eddie would feel that same way, butterflies erupting in your tummy with every soft step down the carpeted hallway. "Close your eyes!" You called.
"Alright." Eddie laughed lightly.
You peeked around the corner, his eyes closed, lounging on the couch. Stepping carefully, you stood in front of him, the coffee table between the two of you.
"Ok," You took a deep breath. "Open your eyes."
Eddie's lashes lifted, eyes widening at the sight of you. His jaw dropped slightly, gaze roaming furiously over your figure.
You felt vulnerable under it, shifting from foot to foot, swaying nervously. "D-Do you like it?" You squeaked.
Eddie stuttered in response, rambling and words jumbled. "Y-You- Yeah, yeah of course I-" Eddie's eyes met yours. "You look incredible."
Your body burned with heat, grinning sheepishly at him. "Really?" You asked. Eddie nodded dumbly. "Because, you don't have to say that if-if you don't want to do this, I get it. I just... I don't know, Lisa thought it would be a good idea, and we haven't in a while-"
"-No," Eddie shook his head, eyes still wide. "I-I definitely want to. I really, really," He stood, stepping towards you, shin hitting the coffee table and shoving it clumsily.
"Shit," Eddie hissed, blushing. "Sorry, I didn't- I- Yes, I want to." Eddie nodded, tongue thick in his mouth, heart skipping, rambling the way he did when you two first started dating. You still made him nervous, made his heart race like he was in junior high again.
"I-I didn't know you felt like this." Eddie admitted, stepping towards you, hands settling onto your hips. "I would've, ya know, we could've taken care of this a while ago."
You giggled shyly, your hands sliding over his tee shirt, toying with his necklace. "I-I didn't think you wanted to." You admitted, not meeting his eyes. "I thought... Y'know, thought you thought I looked... weird or gross or something."
"What?" Eddie gaped, breath strangled in shock. "Gross? Are you- Baby, no, no."
You looked up at him carefully. "Really?"
"Yeah, yeah, like-like the opposite. The complete opposite." Eddie nodded furiously, swallowing the spit that was pooling in his mouth, looking at you in front of him. "I knew you didn't feel good, and I just thought you weren't in the mood. Thought it would be kinda asshole-ish of me to try and fuck you while you're not feeling good."
You giggled, hands snaking up his shoulders, wrapping around his neck. "Well, I'm feeling good now." You purred, the familiar sensual tone back in your voice, a little shakier than usual. "I'd like for both of us to feel good now."
"Yeah?" Eddie grinned, nose brushing with yours. "I can do that. I can make you feel good." He pulled you closer to him, your bump pressed to his skin, his hands on your back, pulling you in for a hot, sloppy kiss.
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petew21-blog · 2 days
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Can you do like a lando norris and oscar piastri body swap pls
I hope I won't dissapoint. You can still dm me if anything
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Oscar P.O.V. (on the right)
Another race ahead, another day to win. Lando is already here. He won't beat me, but I still gotta be ready. We push each other to be better all the time. While out of the race we are quite good friends I have to say, but while driving, we become the speed itself. We both wanna win and we wanna be better than before.
"Hey, mate. How we feeling today? Ready to be second, huh?"
"Nah that's your place, man. No need to take from the weak. Besides wouldn't trade my ride with yours anytime soon, that's why you won't be first." he laughed
"You know it's about the driver huh, I am better and you know it. Unless you switch with me, you won't get to win this."
"Well, I can say only the same thing"
We laughed about it and shook hands. And suddenly we were looking at ourselves. We actually swapped bodies 45 minutes before the race.
"What the hell is this. Why am I you?"
"Why are you me?!? I only meant it as a joke. I didn't believe it was possible."
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We started screaming at each other drawing attention. Lando in my body noticed first:"Everybody is starting to look at us. Let's make a deal to just ride as we normally would and try to win anyway ok? Then we'll deal with this."
I don't know what came over me, but seeing my body so confident made me a bit horny. Until today I never questioned my sexuality. Well...
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We went over some details. Phrases we usually say. Tricks we do and shit we don't do. The media were all over us, making photos, tried to capture the moment we had a fight, but now trying to find a better moment.
We both went our ways. We got behind our wheels and went on. The rest is a blur. I didn't even feel like a different person at those moments, but after exitting the car, I suddenly realized I won. I fucking a first place. Wait. Lando won. But... I did. As Lando. So... the throphy stays with Lando, but I'm the one who made sure he won.
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Lando P.O.V.
Yeeeeees. I don't even know if I should cry right now or cheer. Oscar's team was so confused that I cheered so much for my own body winning, but I don't care. I won. My body won that trophy. I won!
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But then it hit me. We haven't swapped back yet. What if we never swap back and we stay like this? What do I do?
I left to get changed. I got out of my clothes.
"Damn Oscar, maybe get a tan sometimes? You're pale as snow."
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Oscar's body isn't ugly. He is a bit slimmer than me, but can't say anything bad about it. We're only two years apart and our bodies aren't that different. I looked inside my new boxers. Well, maybe we are. Atleast I won something today. I actually can't wait to test this bad boy and see it fully hard
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Oscar P.O.V.
Lando's body has so much attention now. The past few days we've made bunch of photoshoots and I have to say I am getting kinda comfy in this body. It's good looking. Hot, better muscle structure. I don't think I even want to swap back right now. But I can't say that about Lando. He keeps texting me about talking and finding a way to swap back. I'm just to tired from all the media attention and photoshoots to deal with this.
Oh another message came. A photo in my bathroom. Ok, I miss that dick. Maybe I could talk to him tonight. We could talk over the swap and maybe I could try to ride something else for a change
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tayfabe75 · 2 days
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Did Taylor and Matty meet on Myspace? (And other early coincidences!)
Early on in their careers, Taylor and Matty both utilized Myspace as a way to promote their music. Taylor, specifically, would message with other teenagers on Myspace:
"I'd post my songs on my MySpace and, yes, MySpace, and would message with other teenagers like me who loved country music, but just didn't have anyone singing from their perspective."
Matty, too, described himself as "King of Myspace" when he was fifteen. But he brought it up more recently on the Ion Pack Podcast, even mentioning his age as seventeen at the time. And here's a retro clip of Taylor talking about how she wasn't some corporate entity on Myspace, if you messaged her account, you were talking to her! She also filled out her profile in her own words.
She has some things in her profile that might've caught Matty's eye, a fellow teenage country fan and fan of American music specifically, that might've emboldened him to message her:
"I love people who like my music. I love people who are nice to me. I like people who are excitable. I think it's endearing when people cry when they're happy. I'm pretty excitable too. Guys don't ask me out because they know I'll write songs about them. But I'm also the girl who still believes prince charming exists somewhere out there -- fully equipped with great hair and an immature sense of humor. I'm fascinated by black and white pictures. I like people who can be sarcastic and laugh about tense situations. I'm a fan of fans."
Say whatever you will about Matty, but that man is a genuine fan of Taylor's music. When he became a fan is open for discussion, but let's just pretend, for fun, that he found her via Myspace early on in her career.
Now, here is the old Myspace page for The 1975 back when they were known as 'Drive Like I Do' in 2008. Note the James Taylor in the list of Influences! (as well as the Jamie Squire in the top 8! How sweet, I'm sobbing!)
Taylor was a bit of a firecracker on Myspace (and not just there, there's a whole conspiracy theory she used to troll 4Chan!). A few of her comments were screenshotted and you can find them around the internet. Here are some. The one from October 31st, 2006 about a queer fellow ("I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer, it's not as weird as it appears") with a Sex van ("take your shoes off in the back of my van") really caught my eye, anyway…
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"Listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, I do believe I am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up, farewell knave."
Notice the spelling here, too. Thinketh? Hangeth? Knave? Feels a little bit Shakespearean, at least for say, a sixteen-going-on-seventeen-year-old girl (as we would later discover, Love Story and Robbers were both inspired by Romeo and Juliet, both written around the same time so far as I know, but it's hard to find exact dates!)
Matty, by the way, used to refer to himself as the "Prince of the Tyne". He's also got some old Drive Like I Do lyrics from 'We Are the Streetfighters' that are suspicious to me: "Well in four thousand miles we'll meet you" (The nearest airport to Macclesfield is in Manchester, and the distance between Manchester and Nashville? Roughly 4000 miles)
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Two months later on December 21st, 2006, just after turning 17 ("she can't be what you need if she's 17"), Taylor says she's in England.
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Did they meet? Who knows! But there's enough weirdness there to make me wonder. Speaking of weirdness… we're going to go on a side tangent about Fearless, but that's part of the puzzle, so bear with me…
I don't know about anyone else, but when I saw Matty's Fearless Love Gaze™, I was rocked to my core! Men do not look at women like that, but especially not brand-new flings. They're too concerned with trying to look cool and unaffected. For most men (stereotypically), romance and love is "dumb" and "stupid" and perceived as a "woman thing" that men can't be bothered with. But not Matty. Matty was utterly transfixed by her. Something about that touch of mischief in the lip bite when she says the bit about "absentmindedly making me want you", the way he just barely mouths along to the words at the end of the clip, well… sirens started going off for me. So, I followed my intuition and started researching all of this.
Now, Taylor wrote the song 'Fearless' sometime in 2006. The hidden message liner note for Fearless? "I loved you before I met you". Taylor describes 'Fearless' as a song she wrote about a perfect first date she hadn't had yet, about something she didn't have but dreamt of. She debuted it for the first time on April 6th, 2007 in Reading, PA (if you don't already know it, that's two days before Matty's 18th birthday). At this show, she debuted 'Sparks Fly' (yes, in 2007! Original lyrics were brown eyes rather than green eyes, by the way) and 'Tied Together With A Smile'. She also played a cover of John Waite's song 'Missing You' which seems to be about a long-distance relationship: "And it's my heart that's breakin' down this long distance line tonight"
Speaking of Matty's birthday, the release of Fearless TV happened to coincide with Matty's birthday! She dropped a sneak peek of Fearless on his birthday in 2021, and the album would release one day later on the ninth (perhaps because albums release on Fridays and that's as close as she could get?)
Taylor describes the Fearless album as her diary from when she was seventeen (misplaced my source on that quote, d'oh!) That said, 'Love Story' interests me as well. There are some interesting facts about Love Story:
Hidden message: Someday, I'll find this. Taylor wrote this song in a very short amount of time after her parents had told her that she couldn't be with the person she wanted to be with. And in her own words:
"'Love Story' is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn't like him. All of them! For the first time, I could relate to that Romeo-and-Juliet situation where the only people who wanted them to be together were them. That's the most romantic song I've written, and it's not even about a person I really dated."
Taylor's UK television debut (like first time ever performing on TV in the UK) was on Loose Women (Matty's mother's show). Now, Denise was not there during this period as a host, but she had been before that and would be afterward, so maybe there's some significance? Maybe not. But if Taylor and Matty knew each other, he would definitely get to be in the audience to see her if he wanted to. The song she chose to perform was 'Love Story'.
Now, 'Robbers' is also based on Romeo and Juliet (and also written circa 2007), and Matty describes that here in a fan video from 2015. We'd see Romeo and Juliet imagery pop up again in 2014, both in Taylor's video for Blank Space (where she's on a balcony looking down at her lover) and in November where she stood up on a balcony at Matty's show as he serenaded her with Fallingforyou (visual comparisons here)
Blank Space, too, might reference Fallingforyou. There's a scene where she rides bikes with her lover inside her enormous house, perhaps reminiscent of Matty's lyric: "All we need's my bike and your enormous house":
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Matty even dresses a bit like the lover from 'Love Story' music video at the 2017 BRITs:
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When you fall down the Myspace rabbit hole, you start noticing other strange similarities in their lyrics - like Matty referring to a "girl on the screen" in 'If You're Too Shy', which perhaps parallels Taylor's "guy on the screen" in 'Karma'. In 'The 1' (another song that lyrically parallels 'Robbers'), Taylor imagines "the 1 that got away" meeting a woman on the internet and taking her home, which might be another reference to Matty, perhaps lyrically paralleling The 1975's 'Playing On My Mind'. This theory, of course, makes the entire album 'A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships' suspect, especially given that 'Be My Mistake' is a song Matty wrote "about Nashville", the striking similarities between 'Sincerity is Scary' and 'Me!', a song called 'Mine' that references the year 2009, and the inclusion of a Drive Like I Do track Matty wrote when he was just fifteen years old, '102' (the same age he was when he was "King of Myspace"). Considering 'Love Story' was written for someone who Taylor's parents disapproved of, it makes this lyric all the more striking:
"I hope this song will remind you I'm not half as bad as what you've been told."
Lastly, if Matty is the confirmed 'Cardigan' muse and if 'Willow' is the continuation of 'Cardigan' (based on where the music video begins), the scene where she gazes into the water at her lover could perhaps represent a visual metaphor for looking through a screen, no?
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Back to the NYU commencement speech! I recommend listening to the FULL clip. She talks about: feeling lonely, chatting with other teenage country fans on Myspace, and then segues into her motivation behind protecting her private life:
"Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely."
All of this seems correlated to me (also why it's hard for me to reconcile this whole football charade! But for me, it's easier to believe Taylor here about privacy being important to her, and not assume that some boyfriend kept her locked away in a dungeon against her will or something)
Now, to tie this all into a very nice bow, here's a quote where Taylor talks about how she uses easter eggs:
"Easter eggs can be left on clothing or jewelry. This is one of my favorite ways to do this, because you wear something that foreshadows something else, and people don't usually find out this one immediately, but they know you're probably sending a message. They'll figure it out in time."
What shirt was she wearing during her pap walk with Matty? Think of the "He lets her Bejeweled" meme… She had on an NYU sweatshirt.
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Now, could be just a giant coincidence, trust me, I know, I get it. However… maybe she's really hinting about an old Myspace pal that she has protected fiercely. I mean, she did seem to use that speech to easter egg/foreshadow YOYOK & Labyrinth lyrics…
Speaking of 'Bejeweled'… On July 15th, 2023 Taylor flubbed the lyrics: "Sapphire tears on Myspace", and then she giggled. Freudian slip, perhaps? But this is the woman who assures us that "nothing is accidental"... and in a song that mentions a "Top 5", no less! (reminiscent of a Top 8, perhaps?)
Maybe James and Betty were involved in a "teenage love triangle" for a reason, and maybe TTPD references "teenage petulance" for that same reason… or maybe it's nothing but a bunch of eerie coincidences! Who knows! In the meantime, I'll keep on clownin'! 🤡
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th3lovely1 · 5 hours
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Don't Worry
♡♡♡♡♡
Emily Engstler x Reader
- The team is playing against a big rival of theirs, and one of them ends up hurting you in a game.
- Based on this request!
- Emily almost starts a fight(again. it's fine, tho she's just protective)
- Once again I don't know anything about basketball
♡♡♡♡♡
It was supposed to be a big game today. Your team was going against your biggest rivals, and everyone was getting riled up. The girls were hyping each other up. There was yelling, and everyone was hitting each other on the back.
Emily approaches you with a grin on her face. "Hi, baby.". She pulled you in by your hips. "Hi, my love.". You reciprocate a smile as you wrap your arms around her. "You ready for this game?". She scoffs, "Hell yeah, I am.".
"You love birds better be ready.". Karlie chuckles as she walks by the two. "Fuck off.". You flip her the bird and she turns around, ignoring it. You quickly put your finger down, though, as the coach walks in. "Alright, y'all," they yell, "Let's get this game started!".
The team ran out of the room, everyone hollering and jumping around. Emily stays by you as you two walk together, hand in hand. The opposing team is already on the court when you guys walk in. Most glare as they watch you all walk to your spots.
Emily scowls, "What's their problem?". "Don't mind them, my love," your grip tightens for reassurance, "We're here to play. Just worry about that.". Emily looks at you and softly smiles, "Whatever you say, ma.". She kisses your head before walking to her position.
The other team gets into their spots, and the game soon starts. It's aggressive as the ball is tossed around and goals are made. There's pushing and rude remarks being thrown.
The ball is tossed to Brittney before she passes it to you. You dribble the ball to the goal and do your best to avoid the guards. You successfully get past one, but another follows. She's a bit taller than you, with lanky limbs. She shuffles to block you from going past.
"You ain't nothing compared to me, shortstack," she sneers, "Why not just go back to that girlfriend of yours, huh? I'm sure she can do better than you.". You ignore her comments and duck past her fast enough to move away.
Before you can get far, she moves her foot out. You trip, and the ball falls out of your hands. Your head bangs against the hard floor, and your elbow gets hit. The room starts to spin as things get blurry, and there's a ringing in your ear.
The buzzer blares, and everyone stops. People gasp as your team rushes to you, Emily ahead of the rest. "Baby! Y/n!" she calls. She kneels down by you and lifts your head up in her lap. "You hear me, baby?" she worriedly asks. Her heart races when you don't answer. She looks up from you to the referee. "H-Hey! We need medic!".
Her attention immediately goes back to you, and she gently starts to shake you. "Come on, Y/n. Get up," her voice shakes. Your vision is able to vocus a little, yet everything is still spinning. "Em?" you mumble. She frantically nods her head. "Yeah, it's me, ma. You doing okay?".
You try to answer, but all that comes out is a groan as your head starts to pound. The bright lights glaring in your face. Emily notices this and does her best to shield you from them. "It's okay. I'm here.".
Soon, the medical team come in with a stretcher. Emily carries you onto it and kisses your hand before you're led out the gym. Her demeanor immediately changes once you're gone.
She turns to the player who tripped you. "What the fuck was that, you dick!" she stomps to them. Stefanie and Shakira hold her back from starting anything, but she continues to yell. "Can't play ball, so you gotta trip her! She hit her fucking head!". The player only snickers as she shakes her head and walks away from Emily.
The coach quickly approaches her. "Emily!" She stops her yelling and looks at the coach. Her anger still fuming. "Listen, I know you're angry, but you can't be yelling like that. Just let it out on the court and get the game done quickly.". Emily glances at the player before nodding her head at the coach.
The coach softly smiles and pats Emily on the arm before walking back. The game starts again, and Emily does exactly what the coach told her to do. Let it out on the court. She pushes and shoves for the ball and isn't afraid to bite back.
The team is ahead of the opposing team with only a few seconds left. Emily's at the three-pointer, ready to shoot. "This one's for you, Y/n," she whispers before jumping and shooting the ball in the basket. Everyone begins to cheer and clap for the win.
That doesn't matter to Emily, though. All she wants is to see you. She runs up to the coach, and before she can even ask her question, they nod their head. "Yes, you can go see her. She's in the medical room". Emily quickly thanks her before rushing to the room you're in.
And there you were, laying down on the bed with an ice pack on your head. The lighting in the room was dim to help with your migrane. Emily sighs in relief, and a warm smile appears on her face. You see her walk in and grin, "Hi, love.". "Hey babe, how are you feeling?" she asks, pulling a chair to sit by you.
"My head still hurts a little, but I'm all good," you answer, "I'm just glad you're with me, though. Did we win?". She softly laughs, "Of course we did.". You take her hand and softly kiss it. "Well, I'm glad we did.". Emily rests her head on your lap as she looks at you, a small smile on her face.
You rub her back as the two of you sit in comfortable silence. Just enjoying the presence of each other. "You didn't start a fight with that one girl, right?" You ask her, remembering that she still had to finish the game with them. Emily shrugs her shoulders like it's nothing, "Not really. No one got hurt.".
"Emily!" you chide, "You're gonna get in trouble on day for getting into fights so much.". She smirks in response. "Well, if it's for you, then it's worth it, ma.". You roll your eyes and say, "Whatever," knowing it's better then to say otherwise.
"I mean it," she states, "You mean a lot to me.". "I know you do, babe," you tell her, "And the same goes for you.". "It better," she says, moving closer to you and softly pressing her lips against yours. She pulls away from the kiss but still stays close to you.
"I love you, Em"
"I love you too, Yn"
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not-5-rats · 1 day
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I love the idea of Sugarboo bitching to their friend about Seth before going to talk to him (they tell their friend that he isnt actually that bad when they get back though) and their friend getting super annoyed at him for being...the way he was lol, then one day that friend comes over for an evening
(f/n = friends name, SB = Sugarboo but 'SB' = sugarboos name)
SB made them promise not to say anything rude and at first they did pretty well...but it was tricky for them. Ever since they were kids f/n had always defended SB, against bullies, creeps, their parents, anybody! And that wasn't ever going to change, not even now. It doesn't matter who this guy (Seth) was he had decided to be a dick towards SB and now f/n was gonna let him know what they thought about that.
It started with small things like calling SB Jo (Jolene) or Doll (Dolly Parton) in reference to what Seth called them when they met, saying that SB seemed quieter recently, noting how happy SB is with Al and that they've never seen them so peaceful in life (giving Seth quite the look as they said it).
Seth picked up on it but Al/SB suprisingly didn't so he convinced himself he was just overthinking it.
Later on Al and SB had to head out to the shops to get drinks, Seth said he would stay here and f/n decided to stay as well. When they first left the two spoke about how f/n and SB met, what f/n had been up to recently, what the trio had been up to and that's when they started making more obvious jabs at him
"So...heard you were quite dramatic when you introduced yourself"
"Oh, I'm guessing 'SB' told you all 'bout that huh?"
"You bet, they told me everything, everything you said, all the ways you put them down, made them feel they didn't belong, didn't deserve what they had. What they worked so hard to get"
He stared at them for a moment, he knew what he had done was rash and rude but he didn't know it had affected them that much
"Listen I know it was stupid, I didn't think about ho-"
He was cut off by f/n talking again
"No, I'm not done talking. Honestly woulda thought you'd learned some manners by now"
They rolled their eyes before continuing
"You made 'SB' feel like shit, worse than they've felt in a very long time. They have been through so much and finally after all this time they had found something, someone, that mad them happy. Gave their life thay purpose they had been searching for...but then you decided that you had to try and destroy all of it"
They paused their gaze falling to a picture SB had taken of themself and Al after baking, both of them covered in flour, smiling as Al wrapped his arms over SBs shoulders from behind. It was printed out and framed on the wall. They went to say something then their eyes drifted to a picture just below it, this one taken by Al. It was a photo of Seth and SB curled up together on the couch, they were both asleep but it was clear they were happy. f/n stopped and sighed
"You were a right asshole, and I'm holding it against you, I still don't like you at all...but 'SB' seems happy with you around"
There was silence for a minute as f/n looks back at Seth
"So I'm not gonna dig into you too much, but know this"
f/n leaned forwards in their chair, glaring over at Seth who was sat on the couch (Al and SB had previously been sat next to him)
"I am 'SB's closest friend, they mean the world to me and I don't want any harm coming to them. So if I hear that you've done anything that could lead to them getting hurt, I'll make sure they drop you faster than you could ever think possible"
Silence. Until it was broken by the sound of the front door opening and SBs voice could be heard from the hallway
"Heyyy! You two still here?"
"Hey babes! Yeah we're still here, been waiting for you two slow coaches to get back!"
The two appeared at the doorway, Al holding a carrier bag
"Jeez you are so impatient f/n-"
f/n shrugged and smiled as Al and SB took their seats back on the couch
The night went on as normal except Seth was off in a way the whole time, when f/n was leaving them and SB spoke on their own by the door
"Seems you've got a nice couple of boys here"
"Yeah, I love them. Being around them makes me happy"
f/n smiled and gave SB a pat on the shoulder
"I'm glad, really I am. Well I best be going. See you another time though?"
"Of course! Message me when you get home!"
They bid farewell. Yet during their little conversation Seth had been talking to Al, telling him he was worried SB was still upset by what had happened, Al was confused and even though he told him that SB definitely wasn't upset about anything that happened Seth wasn't totally convinced.
That night he brought it up with SB when Al was getting ready for bed and they told him the same thing, they weren't upset, sure they had been at the time but they weren't anymore. They're not the kind of person to hold a grudge. Then they asked him what brought this up, at first he shrugged it off but eventually he broke and told them about the conversation he had with f/n. When he was done explaining they looked at him and mumbled
"Oh really? I'm gonna go make a call, tell Al I'll be right back"
They then went and called f/n...what a convo that was. f/n explained that they were just worried about them, they didn't fully trust that guy and they didn't want anything to happen to them. SB told them that they can take care of themself and they don't need them watching over them anymore, they're not kids, they're an adult. The two made amends, f/n agreed it was out of line for them and SB told them that they appreciated the thought. They hung up and SB went back to their boys
"So...how'd it go?"
They got into bed and snuggled up between Al and Seth
"All good, f/n's just a bit of an idiot don't take anything they say too seriously hun"
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yellowhearther0 · 2 years
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tbh. im a bit tired of being sad all the time
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chrisbangs · 4 days
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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opens-up-4-nobody · 20 days
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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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daydadahlias · 1 month
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public service announcement to my wonderful beautiful followers: i love yall deeply and i love when u send me asks sm but can y'all pls stop trying to talk to me about the twitter situation now <3 I've established (multiple times) that I think it is all baseless bullshit and that I'm going to carry on happily vibing away here on tumblr where people are capable of critical thought <3 so y'all don't need to keep sending me asks about it
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iceeericeee · 6 months
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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ereborne · 5 months
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✨⚡️ Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ⚡️✨
Tagged by @acountrygirlsfun (a couple times by now, though not actually this most recent time, but I figure it still counts!) Thank you, Caitlin <3 <3 <3
Helix took a deep breath in, counted four flashes of the desperate direct-@ lights coming in from his side chat panels, and breathed out.  His voice came out steady, and miraculously casual.  "We understand why you did it. You were trying to keep our brothers safe." He watched Harp's eyes go wide at the 'our' brothers. Like he hadn't expected the rest of them to claim the Corries. Because he'd been hiding from them just like from the longnecks, he had falsified his— Deep breath in. Two flashes, no time for longer, leave no silence for Harp to panic in.  Breathe out. Keep going. 
This is not seven sentences, but it's also largely not complete sentences anyway, and it is literally what I just seconds ago finished writing. Still counts!
No-pressure tagging uhhh @ialpiriel, @goingsparebutwithprecision, @anaclastic-azurite, anybody else who might want to play?
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probayern · 4 months
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man it's amazing how trauma works
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torchickentacos · 8 months
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anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.
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#vent in tags though bc i need. somewhere that isn't yet another 4:30 am vent google doc. too many of those and they're not helping#i don't want to talk but i don't want to be fully alone right now but i can't just spring this on someone in dms either so . tags it is#tw death. like really not a fun time over on torchickentacos dot tumblr dot com right now. genuine warning here#but i'm not doing well and i need this right now. anyways told my therapist i feel like i should be more okay right now than I am#and he was like. you. think you should be MORE okay after someone you knew died?#like. ah. hm. i see. now. how that might not be rational thinking.#i mean in my brain it was like. okay we're approaching day three and i haven't reached back out to my other irls#and i'm awake at 4 am#and i feel like need to pull it together because other people need me for stuff#and like. this happened before but harder. i should KNOW that there's no way to expedite this#because unfortunately I've been through this before!!! people make that choice to leave and it sucks and that's that!#like i KNOW how hard this is especially since it's a very personal topic.#but i'm still trying to rush myself here#it stresses me out to think that I'm not there enough for myself to be there for other people right now#sigh. i wonder how much of it's because i feel like i should have been there for those friends more even though it's irrational.#because that's genuinely not how it fucking works and I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY yet I still put that on myself.#people can have all the support they need and still choose to not take it. and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.#well. tomorrow i return to socializing and being a human person again#little bit at a time.
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imaginary-wanderer · 5 months
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Mental health is going downhill, I'm not sure how to handle that right now... The end of the year feels more and more lonely at the days pass.
Cherish your loved ones, make sure they know they count in your life.
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neverendingford · 3 months
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#tag talk#anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like....#wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners#honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that#like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's#it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore”#like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it.#that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me?#if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame.#we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you.#I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid.#though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it.#I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me.#and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough#allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard.#especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them#it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her.#I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer#like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers.#being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo#do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm#like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over.#I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well.#so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state.#anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty#instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions.#I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them#though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that.#like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it#and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.
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hieronymous-bitch · 5 months
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