#i can't walk into work and say

[butchviking]

i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!! #but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other? #i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened' #i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?' #i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal???? #am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it?? #i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[striving-artist]

Tumblr skews young, so let me just share this.

The worst thing you can do in a job is not be bad at something. It's to say you are great at something while being bad at something. If you need to improve and you're upfront that you're not the best, people will probably help or teach or explain. They will sympathize when you get put on a task you're not qualified for.

If you claim to be awesome at something when you demonstrably suck at it, all of that good will and sympathy is gone and it will not come back.

Confident is good. Stand up for yourself, know your skills.

But the other side of this is to Know your Faults.

This message brought to you by the 23yo who bragged about how he was great at X and had the best program for it, and I spent the weekend doing his job for him because he is so so bad at it, and only about 5% of what he did is salvageable.

#real life #can't overstate this #you're in better shape if you say you're not certain #if you go 'hey can you walk me through exactly what you want' #even if its just you saying 'I have never done this HERE can you help me be sure I'm doing it the way you want?' #confidence will get you the job #but if you lied? #its going to be years before we trust you again #and yes I work in a teeny tiny industry #so we will gossip and ruin your chances for a longgggg time #but even in larger fields #office jobs love to gossip

[thebramblewood]

A lady vampire may be forced to spend half her day cooped up inside a dark coffin, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't always look her best. After all, you never know when an unexpected snack guest might arrive. And if you see a spot or two of blood... well, that's quite frankly none of your business!

CC linked below the cut!

Look 1: top + bottom + accessory bra / slippers / nails / towel (Spa Day)

Look 2: top + bottom / accessory robe / earrings / hair

Look 3: outfit (Simtimates) / blood 1 2 3 / hair

Look 4: outfit / accessory robe / hair

Look 5: outfit (Vintage Glamour)

Look 6: top / bottom / accessory robe / eye mask

Look 7: top + bottom

Look 8: outfit / hair

Look 9: outfit / hair

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 lookbook #sims 4 lookbook #ts4 cas #sims 4 cas #ts4 lingerie #sims 4 lingerie #simblr #the zhaoverse #lilith vatore #we'll never see it (because i can't be bothered to decorate it) but i imagine she's got an insane walk-in closet #where she houses her entire vintage wardrobe accrued over the past 100+ years most of which is still in pristine condition #(except for the occasional spillage) #caleb would call it hoarding but she would call it curation #anyway this is me saying “lilith doesn't wear athletic gear let's fill up two categories with loungewear instead!” #when helena sees her in that second number? #oh it's over #(now maybe i'll go work on the next story post) #blood tw

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.

If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.

#fitness #gentle reminders #i hate hate hate the idea that fitness must be done Intentionally and in a Hegemonic Way #like... fitness is whatever you make of it and whatever you do #your body isn't going to be like 'well you walked for fove minutes but you didn't do shoulder presses at the gym so it doesn't count 😊' #if you want more specific forms of fitness then SURE you might want to do more specific exercises and activities #but if your goal is overall movement for however much if your body then... you don't Need to be THAT specific #and your goals may be specific for only parts of your body and that's GREAT! #a wheelchair user may for example do more arm exercises so they can use a manual chair for instance... #...and to many people i've noticed they don't think it 'counts' because the chair user isn't using 'all' of their body... #...but it's like... using your arms in non-powered chairs can be really important so like. it's still fitness. #you don't actually have to equally focus on everything if you don't want to or can't #all this to say that fitness is Not hegemonic and you don't need to feel shame about what you do or don't do #even a tiny tiny TINY amount is significant and matters <3 #this is definitely something i've gotten more passionate about since becoming a ~gym bro~ #because you see just how different people are and what they want out of fitness #and it's taught me a lot more about my own disabilities and how i work with (and even against) them to find balance #this is what i love about those fitness video games too! because they're often made to be engaging and fun! #i LOVED just dance as a kid and that was fitness merging with video games (and i loved video games (still do!)) #and i HIGHLY recommend people get video games like just dance or that one nintendo ring game because of these elements! #it combines the comfort of home with movement with engaging music/story/video game elements #and things like that make me believe in peace and love and care on planet earth <<3

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

The woman's voice in earbuds: Battery Low Arthur: So you're just going to leave me. Just like everyone else

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp incorrect quotes #im going to preface this one by saying #1. i'm so sorry #2. I am also not remotely sorry #these two things can be true at once and are not remotely in conflict with each other <3 #in all seriousness though i saw this post days ago and i just couldn't stop relating it to him #he's so damn dramatic and desperate for attn PLS #i also just can't get over the thought of him muttering this while everyone looks at him like he's nuts #theo like 'im not touching that with a forty foot pole' #theo: yeah just like i'm doing right now **goes to work** #man the way i just imagine dazai holding a hose over arthur to make it look like its raining until the camera panels back #isaac walking out of sbux with everyone's coffee like 'wtf happened here???' #shhhhh isaac no questions only caffeine #source: foodandfriends #(yes i am aware of the tragic meaning this can take on no i will not be broaching it) #(I Do Not See It. Let the Children Sleep.)

[sergle]

Catching up on tumblr on my lunch break and your chiro post reminded me to get up and stretch and not slouch so thanks I owe you one

PERIOD bc the body really does start turning to dust once it's held still for too long. i'm glad my annoying morning did your body some good

#it might be fake though bc my chiro told me to try and set reminders to take breaks from my work #to stand up and walk around / do a few stretches for my neck and hands #and since chiropractors are Quacks who perform Magic she must've been lying... #probably shouldn't listen to a word she says #sergle answers #the body of the ask is non sarcastic btw. i am glad it reminded you to remember your body #i can't tell you how often i stay Stuck in a position that i actively know is uncomfortable. as if i don't remember that i can move.

[feroluce]

Inmate #1: I used to always keep a bat by my bed.

Inmate #2: I used to sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Inmate #3: I used to sleep with a knife.

Sigewinne: Hah! The three of you are so cute.

Inmate #1: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Sigewinne: The Duke.

#sigewrio #wriowinne #genshin impact wriothesley #genshin wriothesley #genshin sigewinne #Sigewinne also sleeps with her gun under her pillow but she can't inflict as much psychic damage with that answer so smzjksmdjd #honestly Sigewinne is also pretty dangerous so I feel like this works even with her and Rosie switched #but I think Rosie isn't as obvious about their relationship because he dislikes attention so he's less likely to say stuff like this #someone walks into their bedroom while their sleeping and just immediately gets fucking shot by a tranquilizer BSMXJMZKSNDMD #genshin impact #wriothesley #sigewinne

[theloveinc]

Shinsou needs you to look at him so bad but also can't keep eye contact with you at all

Whore. Vying for your attention like a child only not being able to handle it cuz he's really just a baby deep down.

And you already know he can give the most dangerous pair of bedroom eyes if he really wants to, just has never liked someone as much as he likes you to actually want to use them seriously.

I feel like it's funny because, before you start dating, you think the reason he can't look you in the eye is just because he's aloof and doesn't care, but after you start, it's frustrating because it's so intimate and lovely and he still can't bring himself to do it! Despite always needing to be in your vicinity or up in your business, turning away the second you acknowledge him.

Getting-all-flustered-ass when you pay attention to him like he's not staring/glaring down everyone else... Yes, I would be kinda Pissed.

(It's really just because he's shy. Being all sexy and intimidating to keep people from thinking they can get all close to him.

The first time you go to the club together as a couple, you catch him giving sexy eyes to a guy chatting him up, and the second you walk over to confront him about it, he's melting under your gaze and ignoring the other person altogether... embarrassed and squirmy at the thought of you being mad at him but needing you to know it's just because he loves you so.

He just can't help it!!! And now the stranger is mad that you got him so easily... bamboozled.)

#shinso #I AM NOT DOING MY WORK THAT IS WHY I AM HERE #I AM SO NERVOUS OH MY GOD #anyway u know like #he's one of those guys where being intimate is kinda easy when he knows the person isnt gonna actually get anywhere #but the second youre touching his arm and looking him in the eyes and saying his given name he's like #OH SH*T !!!! I CAN'T DO THIS!!! //in a pos way cuz he loves u #and its weird bc u dont know whats happening?? u thought he likes u??? #but he's just not used to such sweet affection #and it takes him a couple... months for him to get settled with u and be able to cuddle without getting shy #and yes he teases people with that #acting like he's gonna dom someone's *ss until you walk over and he's the sweetest man ever in the whole world #and blushes at ur every word #tbh idk if this makes sense i just have a particular vision of it + him that i want to portray #its really surprising how much ppl love shinso but don't talk abt it #sigh #caitie things #anon #gen

[trashpandacraft]

a bobbin's a bobbin, right? i mean, it works...

flicking it to make it spin on the lazy kate is much faster than any of my other options.

obligatory progress photo, which looks just like the last photo i posted but is different, i swear.

#weaving #fiber craft #i keep saying i'm going to rig up a better way to fill bobbins #but i've been in this country for like eighteen months #i don't even have any power tools #which is a sad state of things! #but means that i can't even make a wire thing to use with an electric screwdriver or a drill #like i'll end up with some eventually #because i'm a walking stereotype #but right now: no #anyhow this works fine and honestly doesn't even take that long #it doesn't fill super evenly but neither does winding them by hand #so whatever

[mollypaup]

I will never stop being insane about Utena crying in sympathy for Anthy being the thing that opens the gates of eternity for her where force and violence have failed

#something about utena breaking down the gates of heaven to find anthy in hell #and she can't pull her out because that's not how this works #but she says 'hi im here. ive walked through hell to meet you and im so glad that i did' #not to mention every other instance of the gate opening retroactively #whose tears are those? are they anthy's? who is she crying for? the duelists? dios? herself? #rgu

[devilsskettle]

i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/

#stop it...... #i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take #i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in....... #ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday #each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy #selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need #standing all day long just fucking bored #hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in #ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day #when nothing new ever happens #and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either #i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling #and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me #i walk there i stand all day and i walk home #that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like. #i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in #if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy #but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot #idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do #there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits #and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future #so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless. #sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol #all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that

[talentforlying]

my apartment smells insanely of cloves rn and it's making me think of the way constantine's lock-up (aka occult shit central) and, by extension, whatever flat he's living in at the moment, probably smells at all times like somebody's been going absolutely apeshit in the kitchen: herbs and spices everywhere you turn. cloves and turmeric and incense, sometimes coffee and charred meat and woodsmoke, it all clings to him beneath the cigarette film like a second skin. (there's also the demon blood making his sweat smell like ozone and burnt hair and timiz, but that's a whole other deal.)

the lock-up also smells dusty as hell and paper-moldy and formaledhyde-y and Weird, and so does he when he spends a decent amount of time in it, but the herbs and spices. think of the herbs and spices.

#( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #i've been fucking around with my tea for the last week & i'm working with a spice blend i got from my local ethiopian place #and now i can't stop thinking about herb smells and magic. this man is a walking miasma sometimes #if ur characters get headaches from strong scents then you can quite Literally say that he is the biggest headache in the general vicinity #sched.

[arcaneyouth]

hi someone threaten me into calling my doctors please <3

#they have texted me 2 times already asking me to call and schedule and i am sitting here so so scared girl #the doctor i had met that walked me through how this was gonna work didn't say i'd have to calllll she said THEY'D call ME #....which. i wouldn't answer. but can't we just do text :(

[cosmic-kaden]

It's only day 1 but I think my f/o would be proud of me. I'm trying to lose weight. Now, that doesn't mean diet because those do more harm than good but today I've drank about half the required water daily intake and I'm going to start putting in my nightly routine that I workout a little bit. Not full body work out but tonight focus on my arms and abs then tomorrow do butt and legs/thighs.

Heck I like to think some of my f/o would do these workouts with me as well not just to show support but maybe they want to take a crack at getting their body feeling better as well! I do admit, after I work out I feel really good.

I sort of dropped the ball once I moved in with my (now ex partner) and stopped because my mental health took a huge nose dive and other factors BUT I'm picking it up again. I'm not doing this for anyone but myself to help myself feel better and feel more confident! 💪😁

I like thinking about my fo supporting me... Because whenever I tell someone irl that I'm working out it's "Oh it's a lot of work to get in shape!" Or "You're gonna need a diet with that workot plan" it's never "Hey that's awesome!" Or "That's great to hear. Cheering you on" it's always ways that make it seem like people are discouraging me so it's comforting to have my f/o actually cheer me on and be proud of me fr wanting to take care of myself y'know? 🥺

I was sick pretty much since Christmas and I'm only now getting 100% It was a wake up that I really need to focus on myself a little more and not allow pesky bad thoughts discourage me from wanting to keep my body healthy-

#idk something cute about me and my f/o laying like starfish on the floor panting from a work out and our hair is all messy. we look at each #other and lazily high five. my more funny type f/o would literally roll all the way to the kitchen because they say they're too tired to #walk. they get there and i hear 'oh!.... can't get the friggin fridge open from down here' to which i breathlessly reply 'sink?' and thy go #'that would inolve using my legs and my legs are wet noodles right now' 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 would be funny! #p.s my legs are jelly lmao