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elizmanderson · 10 months

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queerness in The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher

book description

when you’re an old woman armed with nothing but gumption and knitting needles, stopping a sorcerer from wiping out an entire dragon-fighting organization is a tall order. no one understands why 83-year-old Edna Fisher is the Chosen One, destined to save the Knights from a dragon-riding sorcerer bent on their destruction. after all, Edna has never handled a magical weapon, faced down a dragon, or cast a spell. and everyone knows the Council of Wizards always chooses a teenager—like the vengeful girl ready to snatch Edna’s destiny from under her nose.

still, Edna leaps at the chance to leave the nursing home. with a son long dead in the Knights’ service, she’s determined to save dragon-fighters like him & ensure other mothers don’t suffer the same loss she did. but as Edna learns about the abuse in the ranks & the sorcerer’s history, she questions if it’s really the sorcerer that needs stopping—or the Knights she’s trying to save.

find it here

okay let's talk about queerness in this book

did a thread on twitter in which I said "cishet" five hundred thousand times so will probably get banned lmao but anyway I wanted to share it here too

especially since it's late in Pride Month and I have yet to post anything anywhere about it BEING Pride Month and me being queer and my books being queer, bc I've been burnt out af. so what energy I've had has gone toward planning and writing

anyway

I say "queerness in" rather than "queer characters in" because I want to talk about queerness in the book more broadly, not least bc I'm a queer creator & this is a queer book, but I've had a lot of impostor syndrome about both those things.

I figured out I was queer later in life & am a woman-presenting person w/a male-presenting partner. I've questioned my gender & sexuality repeatedly & ID'd differently over time, which is why I like "queer." I don't have to re-explain myself a dozen times. I'm queer. that's that.

but having figured out my queerness later, and having a relationship that presents as cishet, it took a long time for me to overcome feelings of ~not being queer enough~ (and sometimes I still struggle with them).

similarly, my MC is an apparently* cishet woman, unlike the MCs of many books that appear on queer book lists at this time of year. just like I took a long time to start really engaging with my community bc I worried I wasn't ~queer enough,~ for a long time, I didn't call this a queer book bc I worried it wasn't ~queer enough~. if people asked if the book was queer, I'd reply with a laundry list of explicitly queer characters rather than saying yes

fuck that though lmao. this is a queer book. let me count the ways

1. found family

as found family is so important to many queer people - by connecting us to our community, by welcoming us when bio family casts us off - found family is central to REMARKABLE RETIREMENT. while there are queer romantic arcs, the found family is the most important relationship in the book.

2. queer labels

some characters get explicit labels. Benjamin is gay. Clem is ace. queer labels are important bc they give us the ability to describe our identities and experiences! however...

3. undefined queerness

while labels are important, queerness isn't about fitting into new boxes. it's about smashing the boxes apart.

even if characters don't have specific labels applied on-page, they're queer. they don't need to claim a specific label for that to be true.*

*caveat that some media avoids using labels to pander to queer audiences w/implied queerness without ~alienating~ cishets by stating "this character is Not Cishet"**

that's not what I mean

I mean e.g. in OFMD queerness is inherent even if WORDS like queer/ace/etc aren't used. OMitB is another example (specifically Mabel) and Good Omens is yet another.

**caveat to my caveat that some media is queer-coded & avoids queer labels rather than being explicitly queer because network execs or whoever won't allow explicit queerness.

this is not the fault of the creators. sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.

but anyway.

in REMARKABLE RETIREMENT, several queer characters are queer without using specific labels.

in some cases this is bc it doesn't come up or isn't important to them to express in the moment. like Clem is bi, but she's not worried about being bi. she's worried about being ace, because she's still kind of questioning that about herself, and she's worried it might cause problems down the road if her crush is >:[ about her not wanting to have sex. so she uses the word "ace" to describe herself in this scene but not "bi," even though she's both.

in other cases it's bc they don't have the language. Kiernan's sense of attraction and desire is described in a way that seems graysexual or demisexual (or both), and Red's sense of desire is described in a way that seems ace-spec, but neither of them use those terms, because neither of them know those terms. despite the lack of terminology, many ace readers have identified multiple ace characters based on description or experience. the lack of a specific label doesn't make those characters less queer.

similarly, some characters have not yet had this realization about themselves. which leads us to...

4. questioning

okay, back to my first asterisk of the post.

Edna is by all appearances an old cishet woman.

for most of the story, that's how she seems. that's what SHE thinks, even. she's a cishet old grandma adopting every queer young person she can find.

BUT THEN

Clem explains aceness to her

and Edna has a brief crisis bc wait a minute this sounds like her??

ultimately, Edna has too much to worry about right now to spend time questioning whether, at the age of 83, she might be somewhere on the ace spectrum

so it doesn't come up again

but that moment of crisis is THERE, & that too is queer

5. queernormativity*

I write queernorm worlds, largely bc I viscerally hate coming out lmao

it doesn't mean everyone's a queer scholar

like Clem has to explain "ace" to Edna, bc Edna thinks blankly of a deck of cards & doesn't understand what that has to do with sex

but it DOES mean queer folks get to just be and do

*caveat that this is not remotely to imply that a story is less queer if its world ISN'T queernorm

it's just a way in which MY story is queer

6. all the queer characters

not gonna do a list (even though my original idea for Pride Month when I was young and optimistic and thought I'd have energy to do it way back when was a list of queer characters), but virtually every character in this book is queer in one way or another

on twitter this is where I ended because 6 seemed like a good number for Pride since June is the sixth month, but tumblr gets a bonus

7. the author is queer

happy pride, buy my queer book

#the remarkable retirement of edna fisher #e.m. anderson #e's writing #pride month #pride month books #queer book recs #book recs #fantasy books #indie author #2023 debuts #2023 books #queer is not a slur #adding that one simply bc I said 'queer' five hundred thousand times as well as cishet so just in case lol

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mrwoeful · 10 months

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some Augustine x Henri headcanons

errrm at some point there will be NSFW but dw there will be a warning <3 mentions of homophobia and how horrid it was for gay ppl to live at the time :( also these are general headcanons too

Feel free to discuss!!

I see a bunch of people complaining about this ship about it being cheating cheating but let's take period typical homophobia into consideration. What if Augustine simply married a woman and had a child to keep his sexual identity safe?

Now I don't think Augustine did this on a whim. Cause in my mind, his wife knows about Augustine's situation, and she may be queer as well.

I know this is far fetched but hey.

They both clarified that they could have relations with others, because the sole purpose of their fake marriage was to keep suspicion away from Augustine or from the both of them. Even if it meant having a child.

Now In the game Augustine never mentions his wife, only his son. And the toy he bought for him.

While he does have a photo of both of them, it's possible that he has it so no suspicion can be pointed at him for being a homosexual. (Because being a homo at their time was not a good one

like "no, he cannot be gay. Let's point the finger at someone else." Type of deal. He's an imposter to the straights lmaooo

While Henri isn't a married man, we think, he's just vulnerable to "accusations" of being a man kisser.

Augustine would hang out with Henri as much as possible. They might have been friends before the war. Dare i say even when they where children?

Honestly with how these guys act I think henri lived with his mother and Augustine loved his father. If frictional games won't give them a past, I fucking will!

"But woeful!" You cry, "why would Henri trick Augustine if they where lovers??" Ah, I believe it is a few simple things. Trust, and a basic set of skills that he knows Augustine has. In the beginning of the game, Augustine has managed to stay stealthy the entire time, even going as far to sneak up on germans that where shooting at Henri.

That's some husband material amirite?

so Henri had all the right to believe Augustine would return safely. But when that wasnt the case, you knew henri felt horrible and throwing up from nausea almost at any minute. Eating repulsed him, even.

Now we have to deal with the monster Henri (accidentally) created.

Now! Let's get into more romantic settings!

So these two would find any breaks they could have in a war just to hang out.

I believe these two where definitely in love with eachother just way to fucking scared to admit it.

Like?? It's possible to be thrown into jail, killed, tortured, etc. Just for having feelings for the same sex.

It was worse for other countries I bet.

Enough history lessons! I just get so hyperfixated on the history of WW1 and amnesia the bunker's setting in history.

However they trusted eachother very much, and they have confessed their love to eachother at some point. Which is why I am to believe that Augustine was so adamant that they'd survive the war together. Introduce Henri to his wife as his new lover.

But. Y'know. That never happened. But atleast it did in my upcoming au :]

Mitski songs for these mfs (especially I bet on losing dogs. Please it fits them so well)

These two would lovingly prank eachother. Alot. Pissing in your partners flask is a weird sign of affection but we know that Henri still loves him after that.

they would tease eachother a lot, others in the bunker would shrug it off as boys being boys. Bros being bros. Doing it w the homies yk

Henri calls Lambert lamby or lamb, and Augustine calls him clem! But only when they where in a private and safe area.

they would sneak kisses sooo often <3 they didn't want to get too affectionate in the bunker or they'd get caught. They'd give eachother those come-hither eyes, flirting with nothing but body language and looks they give eachother.

you know that one mlm cover of Mr sandman oh my god,,,

Oh yeah I headcanon that Augustine's a himbo. Like. Look at him. If henris a twink then Augustine is a hunk.

SMUT WARNING!!! LEAVE RN IF YOUR UNCOMFY 👿👿👿

Man these two make me go feral ok hold on.

Shenji's NSFW headcanons of these goobers made me go insane it made my mind go wild I???

Henri is definitely a crier in bed. Dacryphilia is making me write this. I'm sorry. But he's so whiny and vocal it drives both me and Augustine insane.

These two definitely are muscular. But c'mon. Henri's a twink through and through. Doesn't mean bro is weak cause reminder, he can carry a man 😭

Augustine is more built though, henri definitely stares when they are in the locker rooms changing. I'm drooling thinking about it. Augustine knows though.

Stop staring Henri! You twink! God,,,

These two sneak out at night, and go do some wild things.

i just searched that condoms where made in 1916. The military would be insane not to make use of these since condoms can carry a literal gallon of water. Anyways yea these two do it safe 👍

Henri is a solid 7 inches, but Augustine is a monstrous 10 inches. He laughed at Henri's reaction cause it was definitely a lot like his wife seeing it for the first time.

That thing is a fucking ass stretcher oh my god. Henri had to stay with the doctor for a bit cause he ached so hard after the first time. Augustine felt guilty.

Wall sex. Alot of wall sex at night. Messily making out as Augustine plowed that twink.

henri has to keep his mouth shut. Since he's so vocal and whiny teehee

Wanna know where Augustine gets those hickies? Yeah most of that is Henri biting into his neck to muffle himself. Henri does apology lick though, tbh Augustine doesn't mind at all.

But Augustine sure loves teasing Henri any time he can, and Henri lightly scolding him for making him moan so loud. Henri makes toe curling noises though??

If it was possible Augustine would listen to nothing but henri's filthy moans.

These two are very sweet to eachother though, but they do talk about getting. Rougher with eachother.

Dude at some point henri thought about being nothing but having his mouth as Augustine's cum dump. This came to reality so everyone's happy.

Dude Augustine would be such a dom. Maybe more of a soft dom?

Please the idea of Henri in some sort of shibari or bondage. Drools.

Augustine is lucky he gets to pound this twink.

Henri is lucky to get pounded BY this himbo.

But erm yeah

Thats all I can think of for these guys aughh pleaseeee can we talk about these guys more.

#amnesia the bunker #henri clement #Augustine lambert #i'm normal i swear #i'm so normal about them

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northern-passage · 2 years

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do you mind if i ask why the language for various sexualities/genders doesn't exist in the tnp world? i'm curious about the authorial/worldbuilding choice - not trying to make any argument - and i'm just wondering if it's because it's meant to emulate medieval fantasy, or is a commentary on the world itself, or because the words we use are very rooted in historical context that wouldn't match up with the history of the tnp world? thank you!

when i started planning stuff for tnp, i knew i didn't want to have any transphobia or homophobia in the game (or racism or sexism for that matter) because i wasn't interested in writing anything "historically accurate", or whatever it is they're calling it these days; while i wanted the game to focus on realistic heavy topics, i still wanted it to be a bit of escapism, and to not have that kind of bigotry present. instead, i knew i wanted to focus more on classism and how that would affect the characters who have all lived at the bottom of the ladder for the entirety of their lives, and how the conflict with Gael, as well as the plague, would more directly affect them due to the actions (or inaction) of the rich.

so i had to think about how this society would look - would it be genderless? would there be a binary like we know it? to be honest, i don't know. i decided to keep the gender binary in tnp because that's what i was comfortable writing, and it's easier to relate it to our world and the identities that we know. i tend to avoid the "genderless" thing because it's difficult to conceptualize - i always see people struggling to fit in real world sexualities in these settings, with characters often described as having "masculine" or "feminine" features, which is something i don't particularly like, considering what that kind of language can imply about real people.

so i chose to stick with something familiar, though the binary in tnp is nowhere near as rigid as ours; there are a lot of people that exist outside of it (like Noel, Clem, and some versions of Lea) and i imagine there are far more identities than just "man," "woman," or "nonbinary." that's why i don't get too specific in those choices in game; nonbinary is not a unified "third gender", and not everyone who exists outside of the binary technically calls themself nonbinary, especially outside of western white society.

these identities in the tnp world are widely accepted, and always have been. children are encouraged to explore and challenge their identities as a sort of coming-of-age milestone - this is briefly mentioned with Lea, but it's the same for everyone. it's a discussion the hunter would have had with Jorah and Rodrick at some point, too. and i debated about not having gender assigned at birth, but again, i ultimately decided to keep it for the sake of being able to relate it to our world. while someone may be assigned male at birth, they will still be encouraged to challenge that when they get older (and just like real life some people will know at a very young age what their identity really is) and that realization and change is, again, accepted and encouraged.

the tnp world doesn't really use trans as an adjective, you are just a man or a woman or a person. the word transitioning is used, but never as a descriptor. body diversity is normalized & it's just... common for women to have a penis, or men to have vaginas, and it's just as common for them to get bottom or top surgery as well. it's not something the people in this world even think about. i don't know how realistic this really would be, if this were real - like i said, it's difficult to conceptualize what it would really be like, especially when trying to include real world identities that have been so shaped by history and our society. but basically trans and gay people have always existed within the tnp world, and unlike a majority of our history, they've always just been accepted.

and because of this i chose not to use modern language simply because i feel like it doesn't fit. again, im not aiming to be historically accurate, but why would any of them call themselves queer when that slur would never have even existed for them to reclaim in the first place? why would f!Lea call herself gender non-conforming when there are no expectations of gender presentation in this world? i'm not going to pretend like it's perfect worldbuilding - my main goal was just making it relatable & understandable to the real people that will be reading it. f!Lea being butch/gnc is emphasized because while it's accepted in the society of tnp, it's not accepted in ours, so it was important to me to point it out, even if it's not something that makes sense within the setting. and obviously i do think there would still be language specifically for the gay community - it's still a community, and they still have unique experiences that only other people that are part of this community would understand, even if they are accepted elsewhere. but creating an entire new vocabulary wasn't really something i wanted to do, to be honest. in general, i imagine people just saying "i prefer men/i prefer women/i have no preference" and that being the extent of it. i also think the discussion around being trans would be extremely casual.

like i said, i don't think i'll ever directly use the word bisexual in game, i don't even think i'll use gay - but that's why i've made certain deliberate choices, like giving Merry a same-sex partner from the beginning. before i genderlocked her, i made a specific variable that would flip with whatever the player chose, because i wanted to make it clear that these characters are not "playersexual" and that gay relationships are normalized. Lea, too, has a.... "relationship" with Shoshana, that varies depending on player choice. Rafe and Harper have a romantic relationship as well. Rodrick is trans, and that is something that is potentially important to a trans hunter - that they had a shared experience, with Rodrick helping them through the process. Rafe and Jackal are both nonbinary main characters that exist outside of just the romance options. Merry casually brings up hormone potions in front of everyone, and i also deliberately made the hormone potion be one of the items the hunter recognizes in the alchemy shop. and the real diversity win is Lord Duncan also being gay. lmfao. i despise when people refuse to "label" their characters, so doing it this way i knew i wanted it to be painfully obvious and undeniable, and not something people could ignore, even if i don't ever directly use the word "trans" or "gay" or "bisexual"

and all of that to say that i don't want it to come across that i think the lgbt community, in real life, only exists due to oppression - i'd like to think we'd always find each other either way, and i imagine the tnp world has a vibrant gay community. but i also think it would be inauthentic to not even consider how the setting of the tnp world would affect the language or experience of these characters, if that makes sense. so i try to walk a fine line somewhere in the middle, even if that results in some of it being inconsistent.

#dw i actually do like talking about this kind of thing. i like when ppl ask genuine questions #hopefully this explains some of my line of thinking when it comes to all of this #ask #anonymous #lore #i guess?#technical stuff

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gretchenfinch · 1 year

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!! !! !! (go bestie show ur blorbos to the world)

xo i owe you my life and i forgor to post this bc i wrote it on my phone and i wanted to post art with it

1. Clementine Zhang (she/her)

What Is There To Be Said About Clem. she's autistic she's adhd she's a mechanical genius she's dumb as fuck she's funny she's insane i love her i want to yeet her through a window

she was from a fairytale curses rpg and her curse was sleeping beauty, aka Getting A Full Night Of Sleep which iirc was predicated by her girlfriend being mad that she worked too hard

she has a mechanical horse which she is so bad at pretending is a real horse. the horse's name is peninsula. it only eats oil

she was named after clementine kesh bc partizan was starting around the time we started playing that. i sketched her appearance for the first time when i was with my mom in the hospital after her surgery. she's SUCH a product of her time

she's an older sister and she's forever mad she's short while her little brother is tall as fuck. her brother went away to school for years and she forgot about him (aka i forgot about him) until he showed up with a fairy wife and a Baby

in the modern au she's just a weird horse girl who's into engineering and scoots everywhere

the funniest part about clem is that me and lav roleplayed AND WROTE her and her girlfriend getting together in a dumb way and then we got together in a similar, somehow dumber way. the dynamics are damn near identical. clem and lia were INSTRUMENTAL for my relationship.

2. Dig Iwatani (he/him)

MY SKRUNKLIEST SCRIMBLO i hate dig i love dig he's the worst Twink ever

so dig started because i wanted to do a star crossed lovers thing when i gmed a space opera rpg and i needed an Antagonist so i made the boy's older sibling be an absolute BITCH of a gay. he's the crown prince he's the golden child he's the worse he's their dad's favorite he's willing to commit murder he's the heir to a fucking mining planet (that's why he's called dig) he used to be with the prince of the whole galactic empire. he's a bitch and i love him so much.

dig in the au is much more interesting imo because while i love princes the dichotomy between him being the heir to his dad's fortune AND being gay is more interesting irl so of course i made his dad, and consequently, dig, homophobic. and then his whole development came from @mira-miranha and i thinking ha wouldn't it be fun if he met this very unapologetically queer character

and then we went wait a minute. what if they Dated

and now i have multiple thousands of words about him overcoming his repression and his guilt and becoming proud of himself and letting go of the caretaker role he assumed for his siblings :) i love him so much i think he deserves the world

3. Galle Boucher (she/her)

I NEVER GET TO TALK ABOUT GALLE

she's such a creature. originally she was part of an amnesia rpg (you know that thing where you don't know your character traits and you have to figure it out little by little) and she was a knight and also a homunculus but that party became incredibly weird morally so she ended up becoming a knight of death herself???? her family is cheese farmers and her appearance was based off of that zendaya joan of arc look and she was ready to fuck

translating that into the au became so much. so she's still from a family of french cheese farmers but in a trip to the uk when she was 16 she got slammed by a car and lost her memory. so this weird dutch guy witnessed the accident and called emergency and all that and he felt responsible for her. so after that near death experience she didn't really feel a connection with her home anymore and became a goth and got adopted by the dutch guy who's not even that much older than her. now she's in mortician school, fucking her rich professor and her wife and the most recent development is of course that she's also fucking/dating nadia whom i love and whom is also rich as fuck from being a mafia princess. actually the most recent development is that she and her dad got a golden retriever named croissant. she's also a boxer and she's now on her way to becoming a wrestler. think about that one lady wrestler who's all goth and shit? that's the exact vibes for galle. her full name is gallebrie anne-marie boucher.

there's a whole thing i wrote about galle where she's gone back to her hometown and she finds out her ex girlfriend is now married with a baby in the way and she's taking care of her mom but she cant remember anyone's names. that was a fun experiment and when i know french i want to rewrite that

thank u for the ask xo sorry i took so long to answer <3

#my art #my ocs #my babies my children my mortal enemies

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thewolfruns · 9 months

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001, a convenience store past midnight. (clementine & your choice!) @waywordhearts

clementine should've known better. or done better. what would her mama've said if she'd heard that little tiny palmer had swindled that nice movie actress like that? only she hadn't called home in awhile anyway, maybe a couple of weeks, because she was getting sick of operating as more of a celebrity gossip column than a daughter. and then she felt guilty about that, worried she was getting above her raising, so she put it off even further. until her daily calls were every other day. then one or twice a week. then not at all.

she couldn't even call now if she wanted to. mama thought she'd finally become somethin' and even though that was a double edged straight razor at her old salon station, she didn't dare be the one to break the news. not when the palmers now had a champagne appetite on a kool-aid budget. perhaps that was more craven than stealing, but clementine was a coward as well as a crook now thanks to billy. the cops would let mama know soon enough anyhow.

and fucking billy, whom she'd betrayed her favorite client for--a woman who was vapid and boring and did way less philanthropic work than was advertised by her reputation yet still gave clem a leg up--he'd left her on the side of the road. she didn't even have her purse, her salon tools, phone, none of that shit. he'd shoved her out of the car before she could even get her seatbelt on after they'd stopped for a roadside piss. he'd even been driving a few miles an hour when he'd done it. probably figured she'd die or get caught.

instead, she rubbed the arms of her leather jackets and was grateful she'd stashed a few thousand in hundreds in her pockets (just for the thrill of it) before they'd cut out of louisiana. it was after midnight and colder than she was used to when she finally found the convenience store/gas station, like an oasis in an old looney tunes. there was only a couple of cars in the parking lot, and she figured she didn't have to worry much since her former benefactor wouldn't realize she'd been swindled 'til she got back from ibiza next month. maybe she could find a new identity by then. man, she really was a crook.

nobody was outside, so she went in the store, announced with a sing-song bell, and grabbed a bag of gardettos, a stick of jerky, a gatorade, and a beer before heading up to the counter to wait behind the only other customer she could see. any town was a lot farther than she had any mind to walk and she really had nothing to lose. "'scuse me," she cleared her throat and gave the stranger a tap on the shoulder. she tried her best to smile and not look desperate, but any fool would know she was on hard times. "i'm sorry to bother you, but i'm not from here--" she wasn't even sure what state she was in, if she was to be honest. "d'you think you could give me a lift into town? my boyfriend and i got in a fight and he left me a few miles down the road." no sense in mincing words.

#uh this is 500 thousand words long #so no need to match length! just setting the scene and i have no self control

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trans-ylvania · 1 year

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I posted 2,102 times in 2022

That's 1,045 more posts than 2021! (whoops)

259 posts created (12%)

1,843 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jordyjinx

@silkchiffon

@trans-ylvania

@iero

@saintsgerard

I tagged 1,765 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#gerard of arc - 292 posts

#mecore - 132 posts

#clem talks - 123 posts

#tummyache man - 106 posts

#museum - 84 posts

#micheal romance - 77 posts

#fave gerard - 65 posts

#ray toro :) - 43 posts

#fave frank - 38 posts

#revenge - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#& then 1/2 of the lotr drum instrumental (i have a band concert tonight + we're playing movie scores i dont listen to this regularly afjgk)

My Top Posts in 2022:

HE STICKS HIS TOUNGE OUT WHEN HE SIGNS AUTOGRAPHS KILL ME NOW

178 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

See the full post

191 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

241 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

MY BABY (OUR LADY OF SORROWS: A ZINE ABOUT GERARD WAY AND QUEER IDENTITY) IS OUT NOW!

READ HERE!!!

thank you so so so much to everyone who contributed i love you all so much:

@chestcavityheart

@mychemicallimbalance

@iero-fucker

@critterdaddy

@glamourizedcocaine

@decapitatedbeta

@bubbleteagrunge

@mg549

@estrogengerard

@veggiecats

@samarashoot

@frostedkale3

@cartilagexfluid

@unkindnessoffriendlyravens

@thisismyusernamedealwithit

@educationalporpoises

@somethingnastyinthewoodshed

@hesitantadrien

@heinaghost

@shesmywiinona

@staticcatfish

@harq

@paralytic-states

@mythicalmarks

@selfishlywonderful

@frogbogs

+ everyone else who i didn't get a tumblr username from and who wished to remain anonymous!!!

See the full post

252 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

our lady of sorrows: how has gerard way helped you with your queer identity?

hey queer ppl!!!! would anyone want to be a part of a gerard way zine!!!! (collage/writing/poetry/artwork/literally any and everything???)

786 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#okay great i have the worlds most cringe longest tag #and im pretty self obsessed shock horror #year in review

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werewolfnoir · 1 year

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What's the symbolism for the tooth for your OC?

Thank you for being kind and indulging the request I put in the tags LOL but now I realize that I need to explain the context behind it and it's complicated! So I wrote a short version and a long version.

Short Version: The tooth isn't actually Manuel's, it's Clement Moses' (@holo-tape's character). It's representative of when Manuel betrayed Clem and also of the hurt that he caused him. It's also a vow and a reminder that he never wants to hurt Clem in that way again.

Long Version

Manuel is besties (and lovers) with Clement, but this wasn't always the case. When the two of them first met, Clem introduced himself under a nickname, Hoss. He had every reason to do so--Manuel had just tried to raid his caravan with his bandit gang, and Clement Moses was wanted by the NCR with a bounty of ten thousand caps.

The raid was intercepted by Legion, and Manuel and Clem were captured and in transport to the fort. Manuel escaped with Clem in tow, and they were forced to work together to free themselves from their chains. Shenanigans happened over the next few days where they slowly grew fonder of each other, they eventually freed themselves and parted their separate ways.

Jump forward in time a bit. Manuel has been looking for his posse for a few months, as they seem to have fled the area. He didn't know that after he was captured, they were all hunted down and killed by the NCR. He'd been trying to save up caps for a while to make the journey out east, believing that they may have fled to the mountains to escape the NCR. He and Clem encounter each other again, and decide to travel together to Freeside.

They visited a fight club, where Clement Moses is a top-billed contender. Clement Moses has a notorious reputation as being a big, mean, tough-as-nails-bastard, with tall tales to match. If someone defeated Clement Moses in the ring, they'd get to collect on the 10,000 cap bounty. It's here that Manuel learned about his companion's real name and identity, to his shock and surprise.

Manuel then debated whether to turn Clem in for the bounty and use the funds for his journey to rejoin his posse. His posse had been his surrogate family for 15 years, but he felt himself becoming more and more fond of Clem with each passing day. But he didn't like having to contend with these feelings. The Clement Moses he knew was nothing like the legends spoke about, and he could take advantage of this.

Ultimately, he made the uneasy decision to pick his posse over Clem--after all, he told himself, it was foolish to believe that he could be anything other than a bandit. As soon as he made his move, though, he regretted it. He ended up knocked out one of Clem's teeth in the fight. As Clem was dragged away, Manuel saw him brutalized and made a spectacle, and he realized that he wouldn't be able to live with the betrayal and hurt he had caused.

The next day, Manuel went on an ill-planned rescue mission, completely upsetting order in Freeside (and the betting pool that had been constructed around the fight club). He didn't care if Clem forgave him--all he cared about was Clem being free. He was successful, and managed his way to talk his way into an agreement, but paid with his own freedom and one of his ears.

You made it all the way to the end, have a drawing for your troubles!

#asks #darling-leech #ocs #manuel valero #sorry for the long post. it's hard to explain the context behind this

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sister-claire-critical · 11 months

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While I empathize with Yamino for not wanting to drag this comic out for her own health (I ended up dropping a project that was important to me for similar reasons; still hurts me to this day) - it really feels like this story, after spending YEARS fleshing out every detail of its world, is just going to beeline towards the end.

I actually liked the story's slower, more meandering pace. Character moments interspersed with worldbuilding details and little crumbs of a plot. But Sister Claire, largely, didn't feel like it had a throughline you could follow (what even was the main goal of the entire story? Is it just curing Thronum Mare? Was that ever established? Is this Clem's goal or Claire's?*), so now that it's heading for the end, it's like tripping down a hill and hitting your head on every stone along the way.

While it is probably quicker from a production side to put all this Rosalie stuff in the MiMos... once again, if you're just reading the comic, all this feels like it's coming out of nowhere. Rosalie's stuff should never have been relegated to MiMos. They could've written this in a way where Rosie's stuff could've been better integrated into the main story - because this IS main story stuff! SO much is happening in this MiMo, and it feels like they're really rushing through the idea of Rosie deprogramming the Helsings - something that takes TIME and EFFORT and PAIN to do.

I would also like to say, for anyone out there aspiring to tell a story - learn from Yamino and Ash. You can have big worlds, but you don't have to let your worlds spiral out of control. You don't need to explain every little detail. You can have romance, but you don't need to pair off every character that's ever breathed in the same room. Plan your beginnings and your ends (and some of your middles), but let things happen naturally. Let them breathe!

*I'd like to slide in here that I liked the idea of Claire struggling with the weight of Clem's identity and accomplishments and expectations. I like the idea of her wanting to do this, but her way. But it kinda feels like this struggle has been lost, and that this is Rosie's story now.

I totally agree about learning from this! That's largely why I engage in this discourse—I think analyzing what went wrong and why is not only interesting but useful. If we're going to sit around and complain about this thing, we may as well learn something in the process.

I try to steer asks in a constructive direction with my responses on this blog. I hope it is not too disruptive to the discourse and of course anyone is free to disagree with my conclusions. But I'm not very interested in negativity for negativity's sake—although venting serves its own purpose.

Sorry for digressing. Thank you for your submission!

—Mod Marie 🌸

#sister claire critical #the burnout issue #what could have been

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ryelasreviews · 4 years

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Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

"Eternal sunshine" is a metaphor for ongoing peace, happiness and carefree life. So in full "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" is describing the happiness and joy one can experience once the negative experiences (or "spots") have been removed from the mind.

SPOILER ALERT DISCLAIMER: May contain scenes and references from the movie.

Let's be clear. Watching this movie even when you're not "broken hearted" can make you tear up.

I've watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind about three times (and I will watch it more if time permits to do so). Everytime I watch it, the more confused, sad, angry, and happy I get. This is a movie that will make you cry and laugh and make you think of the possibilities of erasing someone from your memory.

This movie was made on 2004, and knowing what kind of technology we have during that time, it's not surprising why this movie was a hit. Seldom we see these movies that have some type of 'sci-fi tech laced with love' subject. Joel and Clementine begin a relationship post a train journey together, unaware that they had previously been in a relationship, the memories of which were clinically erased.

Let's talk about the cast... Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, I never would've thought that they would have this chemistry (for me). Their roles on the movie is far fetched from their usual. Jim Carrey being the ever being happy-no-worry-guy, and Kate Winslet always being Ms. Beautiful and Graceful. But in this film, Jim Carrey was somehow the shy, submissive, (sometimes pathetic) guy, while Kate is a carefree, impulsive girl with a strong personality. Both are completely opposite. But somehow on the film, it didn't feel too 'cliche' of how they met and made each other fall in love.

Like all couples, nothing is perfect.

(It's kinda tricky to write the summary since the movie goes back and forth from past to present, but here's a clear order of how it went)

It all starts when Joel goes to a beach party with his friends Rob and Carrie and meets this green-haired, orange-sweatshirted girl named Clementine. That night, Clem breaks into a house with Joel, but Joel gets scared and leaves. Still, he's drawn back to Clem, and he goes to see her at Barnes & Noble, where she works and where they officially start a relationship.

We only know a little about the next two years, but they're mostly happy. There's a hike through the woods in the fall, a trip to a drive-in theater, a parade of elephants.

But eventually things stop working out so well. Joel and Clem lie in bed arguing about communication, and when the two eat out, Joel thinks they are the "dining dead." They argue about having a child, and they argue even more when Clem comes home late, having dented Joel's car. Clem leaves and shortly thereafter goes to Lacuna, a medical business specializing in erasing memories—and, well, she has Joel erased from her memory.

Joel buys her an early Valentine's Day present to make up for what he said to Clem, but when he goes to her work, he sees her kissing some random guy and acting like she doesn't know him. Confused, Joel goes to Rob and Carrie, who tell him about Lacuna.

Joel goes to Lacuna himself, finds out the truth, and returns determined to do to Clem what she did to him. He collects (almost) everything that he has associated with Clem, and the Lacuna professionals, Dr. Mierzwiak and Stan, map his Clem memories using these objects. That night, he takes a pill and crashes on his floor. Patrick (another Lacuna technician) and Stan come in and get to work erasing Joel's memories.

At the middle of erasing his memory, Joel changed his mind and wanted everything to stop. But it's too late so he wanders throgh his memories even on the most humiliating and some unrelated to Clementine.

FAST FORWARD

After having the procedure, Joel wakes up and takes a trip to Montauk. He meets Clem, and they bond as if it were their first encounter. They end up at her house for drinks and go and lie on the ice together again the following night.

Mary, one of the assistants at Lacuna, was also one of those people who has her memory erased. Side story: she had a relationship with Mierzwiak (the doctor) and on the day the Joel's memories were bing erased, Hollis, Mierzwiak's wife, pulls up and shares the news that Mary and Mierzwiak already had a thing, but Mary has had her memory erased. Disturbed by the experience, Mary decides to send all of the previous Lacuna patients' records back to them, essentially giving them a part of their lives back.

On the way back to Joel's place, Clem plays the tape of herself erasing Joel that Mary sent her. Joel thinks this is a sick joke and kicks her out of his car. Of course, Joel finds his own tape when he gets home, and when Clem comes over, she is equally upset by the mean things he says about her on his tape.

But as Clem leaves, Joel catches up to her and asks her to wait. They know that if they try a second time at a relationship, it might end up the same way, but they decide they don't care.

They'll go for it, anyway.

It's odd how fate and love find ways to make two people meet again. It could be statistics or chance or God knows what.

One thing we know is that our memories is what makes us, US. Memory and identity are inseparable. Our accumulated experiences are how we form a conception of what it means to be yourself. If you suddenly forgot everything about someone or what you've done, you lose a part of who you are.

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