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#i dont want to do this everything is online and stupid and i have to make an account in every website
kazzykatt · 5 months
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i can't believe job hunting is making me consider selling art
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wiredsmile · 6 days
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vent tw .
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niishi · 11 months
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just fyi I turned off my discord notifications bc it's just..... overwhelming. and then I forget to check it... so like..... idk... message me on here if u need me to see a message.. still might not check it or respond tho... it's just so overwhelming for me idk how to manage all that. I have like 3 ppl on Tumblr I just haven't responded, like 5 on insta, and 3 ppl in texts, and then I just haven't checked my discord in like 4 days bc that's another can of worms. idk how ppl have the focus or time in the day to handle messaging ppl back so much... bc I know when I do then that person's gonna then respond to me again and I'll be busy at that point and then ignore them again for the next 3 days until I remember and then I feel like shit.... idk man I think we should just destroy the internet and write each other letters again.... it's all seriously way too much for me.
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theclosetedskeleton · 7 months
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ONE OF THESE DAYS IM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE/NEG
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piplupod · 5 months
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i dont understand when people say that when you are depressed all you want to do is isolate yourself, because while yeah sure I've experienced that to some degree, most of the time I would love to be around someone but I don't have anyone who actually cares or wants to help. all the people around me are unsafe. i dont have anybody who would just sit with me, who would listen and care, who would spend time with me without judging me badly for being unwell. i Want to be around someone who cares, but I don't have that, so I end up isolating to try to protect myself from further hurt while I'm already down and hurting.
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arthur-r · 8 months
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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.
#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month#in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom#if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all#anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight#within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person#so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave#i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place#like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost#and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with#i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course#that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and#i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me#and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change#i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal#and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it#my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything#and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again#and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in#(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here#and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you#think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved#because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night
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radlegowaffle · 8 months
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i think a lot about when someone told me the kanji for rain looks like youre looking out a window at rain (雨)
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firelordhotman · 9 months
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friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet
#i am TIRED. yes this is a vaguepost idc#utter stranger shows up in my notifs DEMANDING i explain a simple little joke tag about me and my loved ones experiences#as if i owe them the slightest ounce of attention in my day#and then when i do explain my & my loved ones lived experiences. they get mad & say im using THEIR personal experiences as a weapon#like. i dont have the slightest clue what your personal experiences are! i dont even know your name!! and i dont want to nor do i have to!!#i dont mean this rudely. but factually: you are not important enough to me to care even a little bit about your experiences#i dont bring up suicide or addiction or any shit like that because its Your experience. bc i have no fucking idea what your experience is#i talk about those things because its MY EXPERIENCE. that IM TALKING ABOUT. in the tags of a post that doesnt belong to either of us no les#this is probably the last thing im gonna post abt this bc i know youre still up my ass looking at everything i post rn#but to finish off. i was never even making a Point about anything in the tag. i wasnt starting discourse about anything.#it was just an Acknowledgement of a shared experience that me and many of my loved ones have. whether u like it or not#like literally i dngaf if YOU personally wouldnt describe your experience that way. We do describe it that way! We can be different#i just made a silly little tag for my friends to see. and YOU decided that you were entitled to both hear my life story and blatantly#misinterpret everything i say about it. like literal 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' type shit#like. saying 'x can cause y' does not mean im saying 'y is literally x' fucking OBVIOUSLY. god#i didnt fucking ask for this! YOU DID!! YOURE the one who DEMANDED it of me unprompted#& clearly must have just gone looking thru the tags of posts for ppl to beef with lollllll#i mean cmon. you didnt follow me i didnt follow you and that wasnt even your post. theres no other explanation lmao its p obvious#anyway i hope u find a better hobby or at least a more fun and fulfilling way to use this website. sincerely#at least get some better critical thinking skills before picking stupid arguments with random strangers online#but hey! play stupid games win stupid prizes<3 right??#also one final note: to hear someone talking about the lived experiences of them and their real life loved ones and go 'hmm. sounds fake'.#its just giving Friendless. its giving 'how could anyone make fun art without doing crazy drugs!!'.#its giving 'Wait yall have friends irl? i thought it was just a joke'. its fucking hilarious and im gonna think about it forever#thank u for a lifetime supply of laughs godspeed
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sleepii-moth · 1 year
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if one more thing happens to me this week im gonna have a mental breakdown
#vent#i have so much shit to do i havent felt genuinely relaxed in like weeks#i cant figure out what the fuck this god forsaken class wants me to do theres like no instructions#i hate fucking online classes i dont wana have to email the prof please just fucking work for meeee#the worst part is its a fucking coding class and i know how to do the code but visual studio isnt cooperating#they're making us do all this shit completely from scratch like we need a compiler and shit and i have no idea how to do that!!!#whenever i try to use normal vs it doesnt work and i had to install a different version of vs thats like purple and has 15 different button#s for everything that i dont know what they do and it wont let me just make a cpp file it wants me to make a project or whatever#but i cant make a cpp project and i dont even know what im supposed to be submitting this isnt explained anywhere in the textbook#the only instructions we got were for installing vs not how to use it or set it up or anything and so i cant do any of my fucking work and#on top of all of that i have another stupid fucking book to read for english and then i have all this shit to read for another class and#then i dont even know how much work im gonna have to do next week probably just as much or even more bc all my classes keep giving me so#much stupid homework and i havent had a single moment a free time where i wasnt stressed as hell and i cant even focus on any of my work#anymore because everythings falling apart and im gonna die i hate school
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vse-kar-vem · 1 month
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hihi vent post incoming (tldr im pretty sure everyone hates me and also im gonna fail all my exams)
#first off i did NOT end up studying! probable executive dysfunction went and got me again! i only managed to study a tiny but before and#now im procrastinating. again. killing myself ! 😁 im actually gonna fail rs tomorrow like who CARES about rs ofuhrkdkfkf it's bad. it's so#bad im in the trenches rn .....#i can physically feeling my brain shriveling the longer i spend online maybe if i finish typing i can get it together and start fucking stu#dying!!!!!!#second this whole i keep posting things then immediately getting second thoughts and deleting 😭😭😭 like its so embarrassing on twitter#discord tumblr everything????? can i not talk to people in a calm and measured fashion???? WHY do i keep typos ???? i am so socially inept#it's not even funny. im sooo fucked#maybe i am a teen going through and it's the hormones making me overthjnk everything buttt#i want normal pills!!!! i dont wanna get diagnosed for anything i just wanna try some medication and see if it fixes me !!! please!!!!!!!!#i.actually need to study or im fucked#so#uh#yeah#id much rather fail rs than history cuz i like history so i have to be normal by tomorrow wish me liuck!!!!!!!#ok so maybe this ventpost is not sad and upset more overwhelmed and angy at myself. whatever! I SHOULDNT HAVE WASTED ALL OF LAST NIGHT#DRAWING FUKDHFKDKFK#wish i could just undo today cant lie 😭 taken a WALK at least instead of languishing but now its 10 pm and im running out of time#im continueing to waste time on tumblr ok no. i AM going to study#vee rambles#proofread this .... also typo ridden! im stupid and i cant speak english someone pulverize me !#also my bried venture onto twitter .... disastrous . i think i've turned many people from neutral or even positive about me to firmly#irritated. great! classic me fikejfldlflslmglslf < keysmash of anger
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snekdood · 1 month
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making a prediction that future historians will be able to clearly lay out how the war in ukraine, whats going on in i/p, and trump being reelected (if he does) and turning the world to shit is all connected and the end goal being to genocide jewish ppl, queer people and poc alike.
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naturalbornlosers · 7 months
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either i'm failing my literature midterm by no-assed avoidance or half-assed attempting there's no in between at this point
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theood · 1 year
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"I think I'm getting out of depressive slump! I did so good last night after feeling bad! This is good, I'm doing good!"
> Tuesday
#im not gonna elaborate bc it's funny this way and maybe I'll actually feel my progress#like idk.#through gritted teeth and all that bad days don't limit my progress its ok to feel bad its ok to have bad days as long as I try again#tomorrow#now if I could actually believe its true for me#or if i could stop feeling like im utterly fucking worthless bc i do nothing but sleep in till the afternoon and stay up bc I can't fall a#sleep that'd be great!#like idk ngl I haven't felt like I had any purpose or I'm contributing to anything since I was like 8 or 9? 4th/5th grade#i had art for a bit if i could make something then I could be useful and people would want me but I dont do anything.#i should just suck it up you know? people have it worse then me I should just work in fastfood like everyone else and stop whining bc its#annoying to everyone I know it is. Like to be around me I can guess its fucking exhausting bc all i do is have a good week if that and then#I'm right back to my mentality throughout school#like haha at least im graduated#maybe if I write * **** now * *** *** ****** ** * *** ** * *** ******#idk. I just don't. Trying to stay strong for little me to show we can do it but god everything ever wants to drag me down#If I make it through December January will be good to me. If I could just get a glimpse of hope maybe I could actually see a good life for#myself!#idk it always boils down to Im just a stupid worthless fucking kid who should've been left out to rot and I don't deserve anything because#its wasted on me because I can't be good I can't be happy and everything I wished for just isn't gonna happen for me#like I know I'm just never going to get to transition. 5 fucking times. I need to take the hint I'll only be able to be myself online and n#o ones gonna accept me outside of online spaces and I'm just forever gonna be some chick and I'll never fucking get to be happy in my body#or see it as mine#its all so fucking hopeless#Next month will be better I just have to say it so little me gets to smile and dream big while I cry silently because people are home
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carcinized · 2 years
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just doomscrolled for half an hour fucking hell. im. ahghhghgggggg
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vicissicude · 4 months
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reading the transcript of james somerton's video and here's some notable stuff for people who dont want to watch the 34 minute long thing:
it opens with him saying his media blackout is because he was in the hospital for "trying to do something really stupid"
the first thing approaching an apology in this apology video is at the timestamp 2:20
immediately after saying "i'm really really sorry" he says that in title cards he tried to put "this is based on this person's research or this person's book" but he "knows that isnt enough now"
"there were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody and i'm really really sorry" nice passive voice james
he claims he didnt know he was hurting people doing this
he spends two minutes explaining how long he's been friends with nick and all their history and that nick has not spoken with him since "this happened"
"I also want to apologize for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos I can honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos. And most cases I didn't write it but I should have […] I should have been more diligent about factchecking" he never intended lies to be in the video, just pure good research that he stole. research that he later says he took for granted
he briefly thanks harris and his team for the fund set up for victims of plagiarism and says he wants to help but doesn't know how
less than a second later he's saying that all claims and estimations of how much he makes online are overestimated and that he split everything 50/50 with nick
he says his plan moving forward is to reupload all the videos, put credit in the description, and then somehow send the ad revenue for those videos to the authors whose research he stole. do those authors want that? wonder if he even asked them. i mean if he stole my shit for a video i wouldnt want him to reupload with a credit in the description and whatever paltry cents i get from the few views he'll manage after this
"I never thought anyone thought that I was doing like journalism on stuff. I don't think anyone did, but the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserved." wild sentence bro
he once again defends his title card citations in two videos and appends "but now I know that's not how citation works" so why are you still saying it...
at some point he'd like to do videos again, and his plan for that is "videos that are fully sourced where I will put a link to the script where you can find all of the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve." now i could be reading this purposefully negatively but this just sounds like a description citation again but with extra steps
he wants to be a "really good example" of proper citation
"People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. I'm sorry that stuff made it into the videos. I promise you I did not write that stuff. I should have been a lot more extracting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that I don't think those things […] when it came to that I would just kind of run with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that." SO THE ONE THING THAT HARRIS SAID WAS NOT PLAGIARIZED AND SEEMED TO BE JAMES'S REAL OPINION HE WANTS US TO KNOW THAT HE DEFINITELY DOESNT FEEL THAT WAY AND WAS JUST PARROTING NICK'S OPINION. but dont worry right after this he assures us he's not trying to "throw Nick under the bus"
he says he thinks they were just trying to do videos too fast and writing and editing too fast
"Telos was never a scam. It was never a grift or anything like that I swear it was not. In the next couple of days I'm going to send out a message to the supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them." can't wait to read that explanation
he spends more time talking about the videos he'd like to make in the future
"I actually liked doing research. I loved doing research, reading the books and articles and stuff like that. The part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. I wasn't trying to be malicious that was just laziness." james. that's not as great of an explanation as you might think. it just shows how blatantly you dont respect or care for other creators. you only did it because you believed you could get away with it, not just because you were lazy
he says the reason he's reactivating his patreon is because there were several people online theorizing that his plan was to relaunch in january to pull surprise billing and run with the money. so he said he's relaunching now to give people time to leave ("which i imagine will be the vast majority" can't pass up the opportunity to be self-deprecating)
he ends the video restating what he said earlier in the video
notably he's crying the whole time
one thing i'll say is that i didn't see anything that indicated he communicated with harris or kat or anyone. it sounded like he was coming up with that plan on the fly. i'm not surprised if he claimed it elsewhere or has failed to follow up on that promise, but it has only been 5 hours since release (at the time i'm typing this). so at least he's not making claims quite as bold as "i've been in communication with hbomberguy"
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ev3rgreenxtrees · 11 days
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Pacify Her
-M.S
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Synopsis: Matt and you always had a thing. That was until he got a girlfriend, whom he claims he loves. Even after he cheats on her with you.
Pairing: Dom!Matt Sturniolo X Girly!Sub!Fem!Reader (she/her.)
Warnings: Cheating, smut, unprotected p in v (wrap the willy. dont be silly.), Thigh riding, Oral (m & f receiving), foul language, praise kink, degradation kink, angst, pet names (ma, mamas, baby, darling, pretty girl, ext.), stomach bulge, choking, aftercare.
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“That basic bitch leaves finally
Now I can take her man
Someone told me stay away from things that aren't yours
But was he yours, if he wanted me so bad?”
You laid, sprawled out on the triplets large couch. Your head on Chris’ lap, your feet on Matts’ lap. Nick made you all, including Matts’ stupid fucking girlfriend, watch ‘Edward Scissorhands’ again. You couldn’t help but want to make Matt ruin you in front of his spoiled rotten girlfriend, but Matt would never forgive you. He claimed he loved her, but you know he didn’t. Maybe he just doesn’t know yet.
You and Matt had been fucking for a long while before ‘his girl’ showed up. You were first. You both agreed on strictly fucking, no strings attached, and Matt seemed to have that down— but you couldn’t help it. He was everything you wanted, not only in sex. However, Matt found someone to replace you. Not completely, though.
Everytime Matt was hovering over you, pounding into you relentlessly, he’d tell you how you were so much better than her. How she never pleased him, how she was vanilla. He always claimed you were so much better to him, until he has to leave. Then all the sudden, she’s the love of his life.
She treats him like shit, though. You’re convinced she’s only using him for money and fame. Within the first week of them dating, figuring things out, she borderline forced them to come out as a couple online. She wasn’t a public figure before their relationship, but now theres many edits of her by herself, and with Matt.
She makes the poor boy take her shopping and carry her bags all the time- even online. If he dares to say anything about her carrying her own bags or buying her own items, she’d claim it’s his responsibility as ‘her man’. You despised her, and you let her know all the time, but when you do, she cries to her ‘Matty bear’, and makes him scold you. As if they were your parents.
You never understood why Matt stayed with her. Maybe it was backlash of the internet, maybe he was just scared. However, he refused to tell you. Each time you ask him why he hasn’t left her, he claims it’s because he ‘loves her’. You know he doesn’t.
“I’m gonna go home now. Bye, Matty. Bye boys.” His girlfriend states, standing off the couch, completely ignoring your existence— which you appreciated. She kissed Matt’s cheek, and she got up and left. No one said bye to her. Even though you were pretty sure Nick and Chris felt the same about her as you did, they wouldn’t say it, they claimed they supported their brother.
Matt acts annoyed, and lets out a loud huff.
“I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.” He gruffly speaks, heading to his room angrily. This is what he does. Every time. It’s your cue to go ‘check on him’, but what ends up happening every time is him slamming into you, telling you how you’re made for him and your his, but he’s not yours. You admit —to yourself only— that it hurts. No one knows this little tradition you guys have, and Matt keeps it that way.
“What’s his issue?” Chris scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Mattitude is back. He’s just mad ‘cause the bitch didn’t give him his daily blowie before she left.” Nick joked, and Chris let out a loud cackle.
“Nick, shut the fuck up!” Chris scolded, his laughter slowly fading. “You’re fucked for that one.” He shakes his head in dissaproval.
“I’ll go check on him,” You sigh playfully, sitting up, removing your head from Chris’ lap. The boy let a little groan out as you got off of him, and you rolled your eyes. “Get your own girl to lay her head on your dick, Chris.” You teased, and he gasped. However, you were out of the room and down the hall before he could say anything.
You knocked softly on Matt’s door, before entering without him saying a word.
“What the fuck? What if I was jacking off.?” Matt growls, but you roll your eyes.
“Not like I haven’t seen your dick before.” You scoff. “What’s your issue?” You ask, sitting beside him on the bed.
“Nothing.. Just..” He sighs, resting his head on your shoulder. “Y’know she doesn’t treat me like you do..” He hums, looking up at you with doe eyes, his long fingers fiddling with the straps of your tank top.
“I know, Matt.. But you know we can’t keep doing this. Not when you have a whole ass girlfriend.” You shake your head.
“‘M done with her, I only want you,” He reassures, bringing his face closer to your neck, beginning to place slow, sensual kisses along your neck. Another lie. He always lies. It’s always ‘you’re better’ or ‘ill end it with her, I promise’, but when you wake up the next morning, there she is, all up on her boyfriend. Fucking sickening.
Another thing with Matt was, he’s rough. You don’t know if he’s rough with her, but he sure as hell is with you- but he’s smart about it. Only leaving marks where he could see. The occasional times he’d accidentally place a hickey too high, you’d have to lie to everyone for him and say you had a one night stand.
“So pretty,” He hums, moving his hands down to cup your enclosed tits. “Strip for me, hm?” He says, his voice muffled against your neck. You slowly nod, as he stood off of you. Usually, Matt took his time with you, undressing you himself, teasing you along the way. You wonder what he had in mind this time.
You obeyed, stripping your shorts and shirt off, leaving yourself in your adorable white lace set. Matt had semi-stripped as well, now only in his boxers, his bulge clearly visible. Your eyes trailed up and down the boy’s body, before he sat back down on the bed, his back against the headrest.
“Wanna try somethin’ new, ‘kay, mamas?” He asked, gently grasping your hips. You nod. “Good girl. Want you to ride my thigh. Think you can do that f’me?” He asks, gently caressing your cheek.
“Yes,” You reply shakily, before he lifts you up slightly, guiding you to his thigh, setting you down. You couldn’t help but wonder if he ever tried these things with you, knowing you’d say yes, and then propose the idea to his girlfriend if he likes it enough.
You begin to rub yourself along his thigh, your wetness soaking his leg through your panties, allowing you to slide easier. You bit your lip as your clit hit against the muscles in his thigh, which he’d flex ever so often, to give you more pleasure. His hands were around your waist, guiding you, as he kissed your collarbones and the visible part of your tits.
You let out a small whimper, and Matts’ hand slipped to your panties, slipping them to the side, allowing you to have skin-on-skin. You let your head fall backwards, as you gripped at the sheets, the muscles of his leg hitting right where you wanted them to. You felt yourself getting closer.
“So pathetic.” Matt taunts. “Trying so hard to get off on my leg,” He growls in your ear, one hand slipping from your waist to behind you, allowing him to massage at the thick skin of your ass.
“Close,” You warned, and he shook his head.
“Disgusting, wanting to make a mess all over my thigh.” He growled, his eyes staring into yours.
“Please..?” You asked, taking your bottom lip into your mouth, allowing you to stifle your noises.
“Cum for me. All over my thigh.” Matt permits, and you do. All over his thigh. Your white juices running down his leg, as you slowed your movements. His dick twitched at the sight of the mess you made. “Good girl.” He praised, gently moving the hair out of your face, resting his hand on the back of your head, as he pulled you into a heated kiss.
This kiss wasn’t rough, though. Matt was always rough with you. This kiss was filled with hunger and passion, but something else you couldn’t quite pin-point. This kiss was slow, saliva swapping, unlike the other ones, drool on your chin and teeth clashing.
Matt slowly pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your mouthes. Matt smiles, before placing a kiss to your forehead, pushing you down, eye-level with his enclosed cock.
“Use your pretty mouth on me, darling.” He demands, and you do. You slowly pull his boxers down, allowing his hardened member spring out. You spit on his tip as you held him gently, slowly stroking the spit and pre-cum mixture. “That’s it, good girl.” He breathed shakily.
You licked along the underside of his cock, flowing along the protruding vein he had there. His breathing quickened, and his hand never left the back of your head. You slowly swirled your tongue over his tip, sliding it through his slit, before bobbing your head down- stroking what you couldn’t reach with your hand.
“I said use your mouth, not your hand, didn’t I?” Matt taunts, slapping your hand away, before forcing you to take all of his cock in your mouth. It hurt your throat, and stray tears pricked at your eyes as he throat fucked you, but you felt him twitch in your mouth, and you knew it was worth it.
You hollowed out your cheeks, and allowed yourself to whine against him, the sound sending vibrations throughout his body. His hips jolted every once in a while, and your vision became blurry, due to the amount of tears were running down your face, dripping onto the boys legs below you.
“F-fuck- that’s it, g-good girl,” He groans, and his grasp on your hair tightened. “G-gonna cum in y-your mouth, yeah?” He pants, and you let out a small moan, letting him know you approve. “Fuck- Thats it,” He growls, releasing his load into your mouth, as his head fell backwards. His hand gripped tightly at your hair, before releasing you, allowing you to pull off of his cock, swallowing every last drop of his salty cum.
He tastes just like how he always does. He grabs your neck roughly, shoving you backwards onto the bed, hovering over you. He lowers himself, placing open-mouthed kisses along your body, until he gets to your panties. He then paced a teasing kiss to the soaked part of your panties, causing you to squirm.
“Hold still f’me. Wanna taste you,” He demands, and you nod. You allow yourself to grip the sheets and covers of the bed, preparing yourself. Matt knew how to work his tongue- he was fucking amazing.
You squirmed below him, causing the brunette boy to roughly grip your hips, hard enough to cause them to have marks tomorrow when you wake up. Sometimes you hated when Matt leaves marks, because they leave you craving for more. Other times, they’re your favorite part of this, knowing you can have him anytime you want. Besides when his girlfriend is there.
His tongue delved into your sopping cunt, his nose brushing against your clit, as the boy vigorously shook his head.
“Oh, god, Matt.. ‘M gonna cum-“ You gasp, your grip on the sheets so tight, that your knuckles were becoming white. That’s how Matt knew he was doing good. Your legs begin to shake, and he lifts his head just enough to make eye-contact with you, sending you over the edge. You allowed yourself to release all over his face, his tongue lapping your juices up before pulling away.
“Y’ so pretty,” He hummed, slipping two fingers through your slick, collecting the little remainder of your juices, shoving his fingers into your mouth. Everything this man did was so hot— how the fuck did his girl fumble this bad? “Get comfortable f’me, ‘kay, mamas? Gon’ fuck you jus’ like this,” He told you, as he slid his tip through your silky folds, causing you to whimper.
His left hand held himself up, resting beside your neck, just above your shoulder, and his right hand gripped at your waist, gently massaging. He dipped his tip into your cunt, before slowly pushing himself all the way in. You closed your eyes, as you usually did in missionary- or any other position that you guys were face-to-face in.
“Fuck, baby. So tight. Keep ya eyes open, sweetheart.” He grunted, and you slowly opened your eyes, keeping your eyebrows furrowed. Matt hated making eye contact with you when you were fucking. He claimed it made him feel more ‘guilty’, so you guys did everything to avoid eye contact. Why not now?
His eyes stayed locked on yours, as he began to slowly thrust in and out of you, waves of pleasure shocking your body. The boy slowly increased his pace, keeping a steady incline, until he was pounding into you. You and him both let out strings of moans and cusses. His right hand trailed up from your hip to your neck, squeezing, using that to keep you in place rather than your hip.
You let your own hands grip at his wrist and bicep, not necessarily pulling him away, but rather keeping him there. Your breathing shallowed, as his eyes tailed down your body, smirking when he noticed the bulge in your stomach when he pushed completely in. This was probably the best you’ve ever had with Matt. With anyone, for that matter.
“Mph- Fuck, See that, darling? See how deep I am?” He groans, his hand removing from your neck, moving down to your lower stomach, exactly where the bulge appeared and disappeared at. His thrusts begin to get sloppier, their speed still staying the same, however.
“M-Matt- need to cum-!” You cried, and Matt shushed you.
“Mhm, mhm,” He hums. “I know, pretty girl. Gotta be quiet for me, though. Cum with me.” He says, letting a moan slip out afterwards, as your cum began streaking his dick. He released himself inside of you. He knew you were on birth control, but he still never came inside of you.
He slowly pulled himself out, but instead of laying down for a few minutes, like he usually does before leaving, he just walks away. You don’t say anything, you’re used to it. You’ve learned it’s best to ignore him after sex. However, moments later, you feel a cold and soft sensation at your sensitive core, Causing you to jump. Your eyes shoot down, and you see Matt carefully and gently wiping you off with a wet rag. He had already wiped himself off, and had a pair of boxers on.
You looked at him confused, but laid your head back down, and allowed him. He tossed the rag elsewhere, before pulling a fresh pair of his boxers onto you. You appreciated the gesture, since your pair of panties was soaked with your own cum from riding his thigh. He then unexpectedly grabs one of his hoodies, slipping it onto you.
He then crawls into the bed beside you, pulling you against him, laying your head on his chest, as he allowed himself to play with your hair.
“Matt, this is wrong,” You mumble, and he sighs.
“I told you i’m done with her. I called her when I was cleaning myself off.” He states, and your heart flutters.
You could finally have her man.
“Pacify her,
She’s getting on my nerves.
You don’t love her,
Stop lying with those words.”
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『 ↳✧・゚ Finn yaps❕ ;
OKAYYY TELL ME WHY I FEEL LIKE I KINDA ATEEEE???? Even as a person who refuses to believe matt is a top..😏😻 but like tell me why my spotify links have NOT been wanting to work recently and now they just look stupid???
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