#i finally have an antler <3 where the fuck am i gonna put this <3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

YALL HOLY SHIT

LOOK WHAT SOMEBODY DROPPED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

#omg omg omg ive literally pined after this moment for years #ive always wanted a shed antler.... #AND NOW I HAVE IT!!! #now if you all will Excuse me #i need to go wash this puppy!!! #bc deer are Not clean and im not gonna just let an antler Fresh From The Outdoors in my room #i dont think it needs a Soak but #yk. a good scrub! some soap! hot water! #just to make sure!!! #photos from the bog #oh im so happy. oh im so Stoked #shoutout to my stepdad who found it!! #when i turned and saw him holding it up outside #i nearly leapt through the glass in my Complete delight #i finally have an antler <3 where the fuck am i gonna put this <3

[sewingbear]

Champion Card 

Finally finished all the cards for my inquisitor! :D woohoo! To be honest this took weeks to do. I had a completely different card that I drew up but I kept restarting it because it wasn’t looking good at all. So I decided to toss it and do something different. This new card also took a while but I’m glad I kept with it. It turned out really nice :3

More stuff about the card and the symbolism under the read more. 

So if you’re not aware this card is part of a series I’m doing where I draw my inquisitor character from dragon age inquisition. When you pick your party members before entering a map you pick from like a row of cards. The cards change depending on if you romance them or if you do their personal quest. I really wanted to draw my owns cards so here I am. There’s also cards for other things too. Such as when you start the game and create your character you pick what you want via clicking cards. I’m gonna be honest I high references the elf and dwarf card. I honestly didn’t realize I was looking at the elf card, which has the stag on it, and I felt really guilty because I keep making my inquisitor very elf like but she’s a dwarf asdrfkjhfasrjkhasfjk. In my head I just can’t help but think that dwarfs should be very nature loving. Like it just makes sense to me if you love stone so much you should also love plants and know a lot about plants because have to deal with roots sometimes?? Anyways! I tried to tie back in that she a dwarf by giving her the rusty ring in the background which is also in the dwarf card. I’m really happy I put it in because it’s really pretty.  

So like in game depending on what race you pick you get a different backstory and why you’re at the location at the start of the game. I’m gonna be honest with you...... I hate the dwarf backstory. I hate it!!!!! I don’t wanna be from a crime family on the surface world ;A; I’m good noodle. I could never do crimes. When I first started the game I walked in really wanted to be a ranger druid type of character because that’s what I really like. Welp I got a archer rogue who loves elfroot and I guess I’ll take it. To be honest after talking to Scout Lace Harding I really wanted her back story. A dwarf girl from a village who has been practicing archer for a bit, and when things started to go wrong in the world joined inquisition to make things better. Like it’s cute and simple I like it a lot. Also when I first ran into her it was like looking into a fucking mirror. We had the same hair cut and super similar face and I shit you not. 

Anyways here some meaning behind what I drew

-The stag and stag antlers are a reference to a story I made for my character. I haven’t posted it anywhere yet because it’s long and I don’t actually know if I want it or not. The stag is also a call back to the halla from my first card. I also just like dears and stuff uwu

-I put her in a more revealing dress because I wanted to represent her letting go of her anxiety that she had at the start. Feeling more free in her skin and what she does. Her first card she had a very sad and worried face because holy shit so much is happening at once.

-She has a bow and arrow because she is an archer. The bow Is a real bow in game I added some leaves to it as a call back to the tree in the first card. It’s suppose to be like things are growing back. The world is healing. The arrow is green because I gotta reference that anchor. Of course it’s in the left hand too.

Anyways thank you for reading this! I hope you like my drawing :3

#my oc #dragon age inquisition #inquisitor #cards #pc card #self portrait #dai #shelly #artwork #digital art #digital painting #tumblr artist #dragon age 3 #self insert art

[maplecourtesy]

TAZ:G NOTES, EPISODE 35

WE’RE BACK BABEY. i am skipping my uncles wedding for this also i have comletely forgotten not only what happened last episode but also the entire plot. also i’m kinda glad there wasnt an episode last time cuz it was smack in the middle of exams and i’d feel left out again </3

TIME TO PARTY????? EXCITING OPENING. :OO?? CHAOS PARTY????? CHAOS PARTY. O H. CHAOS AND ORDER PARTY.. INTERESTING

CHAOS YOUNGER SIBLING. yeah thats fair. i think it’d have been funnier if chaos was older though.OH WHAT HAPPENED LAST EPISODE WAS GOODCASTLE REVEAL.

[most of the content under the cut, because spoilers!!]

chaos having regrets and developing an emotional connection to the plan was not how i expected this episode to start but i can dig it. oh boy this is actually really interesting. i thought it’d be a fun party episode. but. i guess chaos order party Would start like this.

THREE MORTAL CHILDREN. every reminder i get that the thundermen are literal actual teenagers makes my heart do a little flip. they r just kids :(

GOODCASTLE FUCK YEAH. FUCK YEAH MAN. FUCK YEAH GOODCASTLE.

SIR REGINALD THISTLEWHIP. IS THAT WHAT HIS NAME HAS ALWAYS BEEN. IS IT FISTLEWHIP. FIZZLEWHIP??? i like fizzlewhip.

WKJSBKDJFBJ FITZROY GRIFFIN. HE IS KNIGHT IOF GOODCASTLE NOW. WJSBDJKFJB FITZROYS LOSING HIS MIND. MANS BEAN IS GETTING F R E A K E D.

FITZROY IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. HES JUST BELLY FLOPPED IN FRONT OF SIR REGINALD FIZZLEWHIP AND SPIRALING

the sword thing being the only reason he wanted to be a knight. me too.

knight to knight. reggie. FITZIE AND REGGIE. AND.. AL.

HEY GORDIE HI GORDIE I MISSED U GORDIE MY FATHER DAD<3333333

oh boy right rainer in trouble.

fitzroy maplecourt, knight of the realm of goodcastle, Dance Commander.

HIERO DIDNT KNOW??? man theres so many characters happening everywhere all the time.

festo: what day is it!
fitzroy: its judgement day.

festo: oh shit!

have i ever mentioned how much i love festo because i REALLY love festo.

groundsy’s hut.. havent heard that in a while. that was like forbidden right it has to be important

they are Squadded up… althea gordie festo Reggie this is gonna be fun

THYE R JUST CHILDREN ALTHEA CMONNNN U CAN GIVE EM A LITTLE .. A LITTLE NUDGE U CAN HELP EM OUT.

althea: if U dont have a plan. and WE don’t have a plan. then whos fighting the bajillion demons.

R THEY TALKING ABOUT THE XORN?????? XORN TIME????

GORDIEGORDIEGORDIE LETS GO

JWBSJDBFJSDJNKF ALL OF THEM DOING THEIR DUMB CROSSTALK OF TRYING TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF. FITZROY DEFENDING FESTO. THIS IS HILARIOUS. i know a couple people thatd be happy if justins plan went the way he wanted but i for one am glad that there will be no sacrifices

GROUNDSYS PLACE. ITS BEEN LIKE A YEAR SINCE I HEARD ABOUT GROUNDSY.

oh thank god the thundermen get a rest. finally. TIBIA AND GHERKIN<33 MISSED THEM. SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS. BELLETON.

last nights chat was the sleepover chat right<33333 missing that<3333333

FITZROY IT WAS VERY FUNNY IT WAS REALLY FUNNY BUT ALSO… U JUST PUT UR FACE ON THE WHOLE CRIME.

ADMITTEDLY IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF THEY JUST UP AND LEFT. AND THEN PIRATE ARC. AND THATS THE REST OF GRADUATION.

argo my beloved. u are the lovable rogue.

WHAT NOOOOOO NO WE CANT LOSE THUNDERMEN LLC. THEY CAN JUST BE PALS CALLED THE THUNDERMEN LLC

OOO THE MUSIC… COMMODORE IN JAIIIIL BABYY. ayo they fucked him up real goodWHY DID HE JUST ESCAPE THAT CANT BE GOOD THATS NOT GOOD.

firbolg i love u he is just dreaming that is all,, awww firby<33333 oh wait what time travel stuff???? oh boy okay. time travel fucks with my head and i am bad at thinking already. its super cool though!!! “what is powerpoint.”

OH. IS THIS A CHAOS FITZROY DREAM???? I MISSED U I MISSED U I MISSED U. LOOKING DOWN ON CHAOS. SEXY. IDK IF THIS IS CHAOS FITZROY OR NOT BUT THIS IS GOOD NEVERTHELESS.

i still dont know about order but i think i can sympathize with chaos which is. alarming.

FITZROY U ARE THE CHOSEN ONE AND I LOVE U AND I THINK U SHOULD DISMANTLE CAPITALISM AS A WHOLE NEXT TIME.

did this motherfucker say heighth

chaos: this may be the last time we see each other

argo, without missing a beat: oh thank GOD.

WHBSKJDS YEAH ARGONAUT ME TOO

yknow ever since they were like argo likes to be called argonaut ive been calling him argo more i think

NEW CHAOS VIBE. oh my god the rose tinted glasses.

FUCK O F F I JUST YELLED SO LOUD. CHAOS IS JUST A KID THEYRE JUST A KID I CANT DO THIS ACTUALLY. I BREAK WHENEVER ANYONE ENDS UP BEING “JUST A KID” AS MENTIONED BEFORE IN MY “THUNDERMEN R JUST KIDS” NOTE. OUGHFHDFHDFHGDH CHAOS IS JUST. A KID GOING OFF WHAT ORDER HAS BEEN TELLING THEM IS RIGHT FOR EONS. THEYRE JUST A NAIVE KID THEY DONT KNOW A WORLD OUTSIDE OF THE ONE THAT ORDER HAS BUILT FOR THEM THEY DONT KNOW ANY DIFFERENT UFGHJDFG . THEY ARE SCARED. SHUT THE FUCK UP TRAVIS IM GOING THRU A LOT RN. me when i become a chaos sympathizer. AND THEY JSUT SAID THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME WE SEE THEM??? AFTER THAT BIT ???? DONT DO THIS TO ME DONT.

just took a 10 minute break from the episode to try and figure out what the trope of some great and powerful person being a child all along is called. results inconclusive but its one of my favorite tropes.

A TANTRUM. A TANTRUM, SHUT UP THSI FUCKIGNF CHILD THING IS MAKING ME SO SAD.

ayo festo i was having a moment.

FITZROY SLAP MAGIC AU.

AYOOOO???????? AYO FESTO PARTY TIME????????? AYOOOOOOOOOOOO???? FINALLY. FUCK. YES. FINALLY.

F U N. H A T S. FUN HATS FUN HATS.

stupid argo with his stupid straw boater hat. and firbolg with their stupid leaf hat. and fitzroy with a JAMIROQUAI HAT??????? WITH. ANTLERS?!?!?!?!?!? FUCK YES. YES. YESYESYES. THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISDOE. FUNNEE HATS.

they are doing drugs.

they are doing so many drugs at once .

DRUG MUSIC. THIS IS SO FUN

oh we are in drug audio time. PARTYTIME PARTYTIME.

argo literally doin the whole barbershop quartet bit

YEHAHHHHH GO OFF ARGO DRUGS FUN AND GOOD (jk haha dont do drugs guys . or like not too much)

YOU ARE THE WIND AND YOU ARE THE MOON. NATURE AND HIS FRIENDS AND HIS CLAN.. LOVE THAT.

ayo is fitzroy having one of them villain tango moments except homoerotically with a glowing golden version of himself. there is so much symbolism there about how that’s the physical representation of his magic and stuff but i will ignore all of it and focus on just how sexy of a visual concept that is.

THIS IS. SO SEXY. THEY. WINK. OH MY GOD.. THE “YOU DONT KNOW WHERE THEY BEGIN AND YOU END” LINE. THIS IS SO HOMOEROTIC IS IT MEANT TO BE. THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING WITH THIS. FITZROY MAGIC BACK FUCK Y E S .

argo fucking. dork.

THUNDERCLAP. AYOOOOOOOO LETS GO FITZROYYY. “AS EASY AS YOUR HEARTBEATS, THE MAGIC FLOWS OUT OF YOU” THIS FUCKS.

“i guess you could say the magic was inside- *vomiting noises*”
HESKDHFNKSDN TAHSTB SO FUNNY HES SO FUNNY

MY FAVORITE EPISODE. THIS IS THE ONE. TAZ GRAD EPISODE 35 MY BELOVED. IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. thank u travis for my life. also griffin for my life. oh hey this ended up being a long post for such a short episode. huh! its cuz it was the best episode thats why.

#taz #taz graduation spoilers #taz grad #taz g #taz grad spoilers #the adventure zone #taz episode 35 #sir fitzroy maplecourt #fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #argo keene #master firbolg #the firbolg #taz graduation #taz notes by krys #krys talks

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Im about to finally watch that NC review of The Wall after watching a bunch of videos about it and Im just gonna put my thoughts during it in this post

Okay I just checked this review has 85k dislikes, 22k likes and 1.5 million views Im scared

I also havent watched actually watched The Wall btw, but I did watch Folding Ideas video if that helps

Oh god I really liked NC in like 2019 and even the beginning of 2020 and his greeting is giving me vietnam flashbacks

I hate Dougs voice already

Okay a bunch of shit is happening

Now theyre just showing clips from the original movie but as a horrible montage with fire edited over it

Dougs face makes me uncomcortable and I hate looking at it

Hes singing again goddamnit

Thank god, an ad

He stopped singing again thank god

What the fuck is that

I hate those giggles theyre awful

Why is Doug Walker a vampire

The costuming is straight up awful what is the budget on this

The cg is so bad and outdated why did they even bother

What are these dance moves

Theyre mentioning twitter now???

I just watched that 3 musical minute sequence and I have no idea what Doug is even trying to say

He spat out a bird? Huh??

What

Bro the animation is so bad

This would literally be completely incoherent without the on the nose lyrics

"So long Oscar-bait song/smoke a bong and it'll feel less wrong" bro what

I havent even watched the fucking movie and even I know hes missing the point, how did I ever think his reviews were good

I didnt not need to see Doug Walker wailing about being Jesus while shirtless in front of badly edited stockphoto water

What is that

His acting is so bad and I still hate his face

Im not even halfway through

I just wanna go back to working on my AU while watching actually good longform reviews

I cant even read the comments bc I wanna focus on the review itself I hate it here

This frame is very blue. I love the color, but its kinda out of place and was probably not done on purpose

What now

What

Why

I wanna commit crimes

Have I mentioned that I hate looking at Dougs face

That was, without exageration, the worst sponsor Ive ever seen

ITS NOT OVER???

I too call the people I am writing a love letter to whiny and pretentious

Oh god

What in the world

I didnt think it was possible but Dougs singing voice just got worse

Dude they drew on his head with like, marker or something and I can see it smudge

He got all these people and all these props and had these wholeass songs written but he couldnt even brush his fucking teeth before going on Youtube

Okay theyre doing a full on twitter song

What is this shit

This is the most boomer centrist thing I have ever seen in my life

What the fuck was that

The eye imagery going on is geniuienly very unsettling and kind of disorienting but I cant really appreciate it bc its just so bad

What is that

AND AD THANK GOD

Back to the bullshit

What is that

The greenscreen looks so bad

Only 11 minutes lets fucking gooooooo

Doug Walker standing in that hallway doing a power stance is my new sleep paralasis demon

Dude what are they even doing

What is that squirrel thing on this random guys counter

I dont understand whats going on

What in the world is that furry nightmare squirrel in the studio

Why is the edgy cowboy furry OC lecturing me about The Arts

I legimately cant understand most of the words being said and I have no idea if its because my brain has been fried or because they just went with the first take of every line

This part of the review is usually praised as "the best part" so Im both intrigued and really scared

Oh god its another furry OC

Okay I actually quite like the design of the grey furry with the big hat and six arms I just really hate the way he moves, I think it would look better as a static model or preferably a 2d drawing

Another Ad!

I also like the black one with the white horns and red accents

Okay what the fuck is that

I mean the one with the way too many antlers is a bit better than the one before it but it looks like the designer kinda gave up at this point

This feels like an acid trip but in the worst way

I think this is the first thing Ive seen that had a dragon in it, that didnt make it better at all

I mean. i guess this is very impressive but why

I feel like every single voice actor for these creatures recorded the lyrics with a completely different mic

Hey, what the fuck

Well this sure is all happening

What

"Well, the movie ended on such an open vagueness that it only makes sense the the review end on such an open vagueness" hey fuckface, thats not how reviews work

Thank you musician guy who had no lines up until now (I think his name was Corey??)

All of this bullshit and for WHAT

Theyre singing the spongebob squarepants theme song

These 30 seconds where the most I enjoyed myself consecutively during this entire 40 minute video

I dont know how, but Doug Walker somehow manages to stay unlikeable even while hes shouting out a charity that probably does wonderful work

In conclusion, there is a total of 5 Things I Enjoyed in this 40 minute review:

That gray furry with the hat and six arms

That black furry with the horns and red accents and eyes

The shade of blue during that one very blue shot

The spongebob squarepants theme

Apparently Griff Taylor (the son of the musician guy, Corey Taylor) is a fan of NC for some reason and his dad pretty much did this for him, and I can appreciate that on some level

#live blogging #ig #review ig #idk what to tag this as #channel awesome #nostalgia critic

[eye-raq]

Happy Holidays Brielle: Vol.5

Im still gonna finish this juicy ride regardless if it’s christmas or not lol

Erik and Brielle enjoy a sexy Christmas together in NYC

Warnings: FLUFFY and SMUTTY

Vol.1   Vol.2   Vol.3    Vol.4

DECEMBER 25th 2018: Christmas Day!!

I don't want a lot for Christmas There's just one thing I need I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas Is you

Erik damn near shot up in Brielle’s bed out of his deep slumber, knocking his head against the headboard behind him. Loud barking from Muffin could be heard and then out of nowhere, the soft small frame of his brat hopping on him to straddle him excitedly caught him off guard.

Erik picks up one of her lavender silk pillows, throwing it over his face, crossing his arms over it to keep her from grabbing the pillow away.

“Come on Scrooge it’s Christmas!!!” Brielle wore a fitted Christmas onesie with a butt flap that read spank me under the mistletoe. She had antlers on her head as well, her Cartier bracelet shining and the gold of her name necklace shining as well. She had a big bright white smile plastered over her pouty lips, bouncing on Erik’s crotch to get a rouse out of him.

“Brie Brie give me like...five minutes.” Erik’s voice was like a chair scraping across a hardwood floor, all scratchy and groggy. She heard him sniffle a little, then letting out a groan.

“Erik, are you getting sick?!” She had a blinking expression on her face.

With that he removed the pillow, his dreads sticking up oddly and his eyes low. He rubbed at his nose with the palm of his hand rough before sniffling loudly, his broad nose reddened at the tip like Rudolph himself.

“You are aren’t you?!!” Brielle was bug eyed, like her eyes weren’t big enough as it is.

“Is that song on repeat?” He asked in annoyance, the song began playing again, causing Brielle to sing in his lap. She actually sounded pretty good, her tone was a little flat but all in all she sounded sweet and melodic.

“What you need is some cinnamon apple tea, and a nice hot breakfast.” She hopped off of him, slipping on her chestnut ugg slippers, pulling out a gift bag from her closet.

“Before I go whip us up something, why don’t you put on your first Christmas gift.” Brielle handed Erik the glittery bag with a mistletoe on it, some of the glitter getting on his bare chest.

“I’m not a fucking Christmas decoration Brie Brie I don’t want glitter on me.” With a stern expression etched across his face.

“What else would you like me to put on you then?” Erik looked over at her, watching as she wagged her eyebrows, casing him to laugh.

“You make me sick.” He responded playfully.

Erik pulls the red tissue paper out of the bag, finally staring down at the item within it.

“You serious?” He spoke languidly.

it was a red cotton onesie with a hood the fabric clearly having no room to breathe. On the back embroidered in gold was the outlining of a Jaguar with the eyes embroidered an emerald green.

“I figured we could match this morning for the holiday!” She was very very excited, jumping up and down, clapping her hands together.

“If I wear this, you at least gotta suck my dick first. My dick is..”

Erik lifted the covers back, showing off his solid erection that twitched against the fabric of his briefs.

“Stiff as a fucking rock.”

She nibbles on her lip, her thighs coming together to control the flutter she felt in her pussy.

“You would make me get on my knees on this wonderful holiday.” Brielle didn’t think twice as she got down on all fours, crawling towards Erik with those cute antlers on her head and her eyes sultry.

She yanked the rest of the blanket back from his body, kissing his thighs with those protruding eyes on him, letting him know that she was in complete control of this and she wanted the dick.

“Santa you know I love sucking your dick, either way I would sucked it.” She was right, it didn’t matter if he wore the damn thing or not she was going to taste him over and over.

“Why don’t you grab your phone and record me while I suck it dry.” Erik reaches over to where he slept, grabbing his phone from under the pillow, swiping left to pull up his camera. She didn’t feel like waiting until he was ready either, automatically sucking him up, allowing her spit to drool down with every stroke of her mouth and suction from her pouty lips. Brielle pops her mouth off as she stares into that camera, her eyes never leaving, a small smile gracing her lips.

“You ain’t scared huh?” Spoke Erik low.

“How can I be afraid when I got this good dick in my mouth.” She gives the underside of his dick a flick of her tongue earning a jerk of his hips. She repeated the same action, a hiss escaping his mouth.

“You like it when I lick the tip?” She licked slow, then kissed it.

“I know it’s your absolute favorite.” She talked into that camera so innocently it rendered Erik speechless, the HD view he was provided with had him loss for words and all he could do was sit there open mouthed, his eyes unblinking as he recorded his little helper.

She used the topside of her tongue to give him long licks, the surface of her taste buds adding texture to her technique. The fact that she took her time with stimulation while sucking him off had him begging her to keep going and to never stop without words, because his body did the talking for him.

“I aim to please my man. I love this good dick in my dirty little mouth.” Erik nods his head in agreement, bottom lip red and swollen from the assault of his teeth.

“I bet you ain’t never have a chick suck it like I do…can they do this?” Brielle lowered her entire mouth over the dick and she started clenching and unclenching the inside of her jaws, the flesh from the corners of her mouth squeezing him repeatedly, spit spilling out and to his pelvis each time. Erik reaches out to hold her in place, his eyebrows pinched and his mouth agape.

She hummed over him, the vibration making him flex his abs.

Brielle lifts for air, smiling up at Erik with a wink of her eye.

“Never had that shit have you Daddy?” Erik shakes his head no. Brielle strokes his dripping wet dick, the sound similar to the sound of churning butter.

Brielle takes both of her hands, moving them in a grinding motion.

“I’ll show you what you’ve been missing Daddy, I’ll show you what your friends wish they had.” She started off kissing his tip again, dragging it out so she could relish in the sweet beautiful agony of his body squirming. With her one hand stroking, she trailed kisses down to his balls, her lips feather like, and when she drew back it always left a perfect suction. Erik’s head went back and the phone in his hand shook a little. She went back to grinding her hands over him, her mouth latched to his dick now, sucking perfectly. It was so damn wet, the more she sucked the more spit produced.

She opened her lips slightly to gently squeeze the top of his penis, then she went in for the kill and began deep throating him. It was like the back of her throat was a bottomless pit, no gagging, no choking, just long strokes with her mouth like he was stroking her pussy.

“That’s it baby work it, suck it.” Erik just started instructing his Bratty Brie.

“There you go baby, there you go give daddy that mouth. Give me that FUCKING MOUTH.”

She popped her mouth off of him.

“Give you this throat daddy?”

“Yeah gimmie that shit like I said.”

She licked and kissed his dick.

“You gonna take it from me?”

“Fuck yes.”

She strokes him, batting her eyes in the camera.

“Then fuck this mouth like you tryna rob me.”

She lowered back over him deep, watching as Erik’s hands came to grip her by her antlers, flexing up into her mouth repeatedly. You could hear the gurgling and he could feel the tip of his dick stroke the inside of her cheek. She then made an “O” shape with her lips, making it as tight as possible, applying pressure around his penis.

“Keep doing that and watch me paint the back of your throat, how ever deep that might be.”

She used her head as movement only, bobbing up and down first only on his tip, and now taking the entire length of him. Erik shook his head in blissful agony, his hands now gripping the sheets on her bed bringing the fabric rough between his fingers as he fucked up into her mouth while she bobbed that pretty little head.

“Ain’t no way another chick can suck it like you do!” He spoke that through clenched teeth.

“You dirty bitch.” The feeling alone made him want to call her his nasty, slutty, filthy little bitch.

She popped her mouth off again, stroking his chocolate stick.

“That’s all I am? Just a dirty little bitch? Nothing else?” She sunk back over him then.

“Now that you mention it you a nasty little slut too.” The dirty talk alone made her keep going.

“Your mouth is a filthy wet hole that I could fuck for hours.”

Erik was close and the closer he became, the more his voice wavered, stumbling over his words.

“You-you tryna make daddy cum my little….” he couldn’t even finish, the feeling too much to handle.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck…” he began shaking, his balls tightened, and his eyes squeezed shut.

“YEAH!!” And with that he fell back onto the bed, his body jerking as his hips bucked into her mouth. He came alright, but Brielle wasn’t finished.

“Damn Brie Brie!” Erik lifts up on his elbows watching her work it up again.

“You not playing are you?” He had a look of disbelief.

She didn’t respond as her mouth kept on going, still deep, still wet, still tight.

“You deserve all the gifts and all the kisses and all the hugs..” Erik started petting her hair, a moan escaping his mouth every single time. It sounded desperate, like he was defeated, like he was crying out for her to keep going. It was the sexiest thing she heard from a man, especially Erik because he let it all go, no restraints, no shame, no embarrassment like most men feel. This was a great way to kick start her Christmas.

“You plan on cumming again for me Daddy?”

Erik simply nodded his head yes with the most innocent expression, his lip between his teeth, his eyebrows worried, his eyes low and fluttery. Brielle simply stroked him, kissing his tip each time earning more moans. She couldn’t get over this shit.

“Keep going baby?”

“Yes.” He moaned out.

“Kiss it good baby?” Brielle was supper wet and she felt her belly tighten. Was she?

“Yesss oh my fucking goddddd” He dragged that out long and urgent.

“Daddy..” Brielle gasps, feeling her liquid pool within her onesie. She lifts frantically, unzipping her onesie, hand dipping into her red boy shorts finally finding her swollen clit and pedals soaked in honey. She kneels back down, sucking and licking on Erik again with her fingers in her pussy stroking her g spot. Erik could hear her pussy all the way on the bed and her tongue was doing dangerous things to his balls and his shaft.

“Daddy cum with me.” Brielle was in complete shock. She was on the verge of cumming in her onesie from sucking Erik’s dick alone. She had to finish herself off, and the more she strokes, the more her stomach turned to knots and the more she could see herself making a mess on her carpet.

“Ah, fuck girl you got a nigga cumming again.” Erik couldn’t take his eyes off the sight of her moaning around his dick and the frantic way her fingers moved in and out of her pussy. He reached out his shaking fingers to stroke her face, her perfectly beautiful chocolate face before practically shouting, cumming down her throat so rough and thick it had her choking for the first time since she started sucking him off. Brielle’s legs clamped shut, her eyes squeezing closed as her fingers sloppily pumped into her pussy, releasing her cum all over her fingers and down her wrist.

-----------------------------------------

“Cinnamon French toast with honey and brown sugar butter, scrambled eggs with cheddar, and smoked sausage!” Brielle pulled out her fancy Noritake Crestwood Gold Rimmed Dining Set, plating the French toast in layers, powder sugar flakes littering the sweet treat and a small dish with perfectly whipped honey brown sugar butter. The eggs were oozing cheese and the smoked sausage had a maple glaze that was baked into it from the oven. Erik sat at her kitchen island, his onesie on with the hood up, those bright brown eyes eager and those long lashes sweeping the tops of his lids. He took small sips from his cinnamon apple tea, licking his lips because he loved the sweet tang of it. He could watch her operate in the kitchen with each meal of the day. She moved around with grace, she took her time with the food like it was a new born child.

You could tell she had a passion and precision with cooking like she did with designing clothes. She sang along to Donny Hathaway’s version of This Christmas. Erik even song along with her a little, meeting her pretty wide brown eyes each time she caught him singing.

“I hear you over there Mr.”

Erik shrugs.

“What can I say I’m in the Christmas spirit, first Christmas in a long time really.”

Brielle sat his plate in front of him with his butter knife and fork, walking around with hers to sit next to him.

“Can you…I mean, if it’s not a problem...I-I wanna know more about you. Who is Erik Stevens?”

Erik pauses on cutting into his French toast, meeting his brats gaze. It was sincere and curious.

“Wow. Um...yeah, I can tell you more.”

Erik adjusts his seat, clearing his throat before speaking.

“I honestly haven’t really been close with my wakandan family. It’s a lot of...hurt there...WAS a lot of hurt there and, after my father died years back I felt so much hate towards them you know?”

Brielle couldn’t respond in words, so she nods, making sure that she held Erik’s gaze. She knew he was a man of many mysteries like the Davinci Code but she also wanted him to know that he could trust her with this information.

“He was killed, and it’s wrapped up in my family...and I let that ride with me up until two years ago. I told you...what I’ve done.” Brielle lets out a breath, gripping Erik’s hand, rubbing soothing circles over it.

“And I’m sorry I went about it that way.”

“Don’t apologize.” She hushes him. Erik gives her a half smirk before clearing his throat to speak again.

“I was born N’Jadaka Udaku, not Erik Stevens. N’Jadaka, I don’t really know that nigga well.” He chuckles a little causing her to do the same.

“But, I’m a prince...and I’ve convinced myself that I should give that a try, but I’m cool with being Erik Stevens; Killmonger.”

Brielle raised a single arched brow at him.

“Killmonger huh?” Saying that brought back memories to when he told her about killing people.

“Yeah, I know Killmonger is a savage but, that’s a part of me.” She could really see his heart in his words.

“Well, I’m sorry about your father…”

“N’Jobu.” He clarifies.

“I’m sure N’Jobu is proud of his son… and your mom too right?”

Erik gives a half shrug, turning to grab his mug. Brielle noticed the shift in his mood a little.

“Oh, E...I’m so sorry babe.” She grabs his face, watching as his eyes flicked downward into his lap. He jerks a little lifting his head with a rapid blink of his captivating eyes.

“Family man...that shit can be a trip.” He looks at her leaning in to peck her soft cheek.

“You pulling at my heartstrings girl stop making me feel soft.” Erik nudges her, earning a glare.

“Why don’t you eat your food Mr Softy.” Erik laughs an addictive laugh, finally cutting into his French toast, dipping it into the whipped butter and taking no time to put it into his mouth. Brielle took notice at how he would eat his food off his fork with the utensil backwards.

Erik chews, and the more he chewed, the slower it became. He closed his eyes, opening them to take another stab at the sweet toast, dipping it, and bringing it back to his mouth. He let out a soothing breath as if meditating and the sight alone had Brielle forgetting her own plate.

“Lately I’ve been really taking the time to appreciate my food and savoring that shit.” Brielle was in awe of this man, this aristocratic man.

“And when I do that now, it makes me build memories off of the food I’ve tried and it makes my taste buds form those memories you know what I’m saying?” He scrapes his tongue over his teeth.

“You cooked the HELL out of that French toast baby.” She loved the way he called her baby, his little bratty baby.

“It’s so fucking good Brie Brie mm.” She blushes hard, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, trying to control it. In between her eating she took glances at him sampling the eggs and sausage, a hum of approval escaping every time, she hitched a breath at the way he took is pointer finger and sometimes his pinky to smear along the surface of the expensive chinaware, sucking on the digits causing his dimples to appear. His plate was completely clean.

“I only do that when I’ve been served up a meal to remember.” He said in finality, reaching over to grab a second serving.

After the breakfast to remember, Brielle and Erik sat on the plush carpet of her living room in front of her white Christmas tree with her fancy glass Christmas ornaments and gold star on top of her tree.The European style wall mount electric fireplace made them feel warm and cozy. Muffin was perched on her chocolate velvet Wentworth Tufted Dog Bed, a cute Christmas reef collar around her neck and her fur perfectly groomed.

Brielle made Erik a personal Christmas stocking that was of suede ivory with his name embroidered in gold. She begged him to wear his Santa hat again, snapping pictures of him on her phone, at first to his annoyance but then the goof ball surfaced, providing her with pics of his tongue out.

Brielle seemed to have two for Erik under her Christmas tree that he didn’t ignore, his interest peaked. She insisted that he accept her gifts without a debate.

“I can spend money on you too Mr. Don’t argue with me.”

She pointed a warning finger to him.

“Alright mama!” Erik held up his hands in surrender.

She smiles, picking up a small white box with silver trimming, handing it over to him. She looked dreamy and ecstatic as she sat up on her knees. Erik runs his fingers over the surface of the box, gazing at it intently, before finally lifting the lid, his eyes staring down in disbelief.

“You...” that was all he said, his pouty full bottom lip hanging and his eyes searching.

It was 18 CT gold, with champagne color and black dial, oysterflex bracelet with 4130 movement; a self-winding mechanical chronograph movement.

“Brielle.” That’s all he said, that lady-killer smile creeping up.

It was a Comograph Daytona Rolex watch. It came with a fancy note that Erik read allowed.

“The Cosmograph Daytona, introduced in 1963, was designed to meet the demands of professional racing drivers. An icon eternally joined in name and function to the high-performance world of motor sport. Fifty years after its creation, the Cosmograph Daytona remains in a class of its own among sport chronographs.” He read it in a sort of whisper, Brielle encapsulated by his words like a model ship in a bottle.

Erik turned the watch around, seeing his name engraved into the shining gold, along with a small passage. He peered over at Brielle, watching the apples of her cheeks pop, those beautiful eyes edging him on further.

Erik squinted closely to read the passage, assuming he wanted her to read that allowed as well.

The bold, daring, intellectual, charming.

The elegant man, the brave man-my man.

As you watch the hands of this edgy watch tick,

I want you to be reminded that every time spent

With you is worth many more. With Love, Happy Holidays Erik.

What he didn’t expect was that. Erik met her blazing eyes again, his thumb running over the engraved gold of his brand new Rolex.

“You are really something special aren’t you girl?” Erik gripped her chin, and as if a shadow had been casted over them both, her face was close to his and the sweet smell of maple could be distinguished on her breath, and then her tongue was in his mouth, all but overpowering his senses. Erik finally breaks the intense kiss, speaking directly over her lips with a sensual whisper that heightened her senses.

“Thank you so much beautiful.” She could feel her pulse jump. Erik takes in her flustered dreamy look before picking up his second gift, a large box of the same design. He opened the box to find sneakers, but they were definitely special edition for the occasion. It was a pair of Nike Air Force 1 Premium Winter in brown/black with sherpa fabric lining that keeps your feet warm, reimagining the iconic hoops shoe.

His smile is plastered so wide it even causes Brielle to smile. She saw the way the happiness in his eyes danced as he stared down at the edgy shoe.

“Not only is it a Nike shoe, it’s perfect for this sub zero ass weather y’all New Yorkers are so used to.” Erik went to try it on, loving the fit already and the way it made his toes feel.

“I don’t know how many times I can say thank you for you to understand..”

“Once is enough big head.” Brielle teases.

Erik finally puts his gifts back under the tree, pulling out just one from underneath in a small gift bag with pretty metallic  colors that reminded you of the tropics.

Brielle takes the bag, a groan ready to escape but Erik places a single finger to her mouth.

“Hush little brat don’t say a word.” She nibbled on his finger. Brielle removes the tissue paper, eyes looking down at a necklace lined with garnet gemstones, a little galaxy or sky of some sort hanging on the end of it encased in a single teardrop diamond. Brielle held it up, her hand being used to hold up the end of the jewel to get a better look. Within it, it looked like a sunset, or maybe a sunrise swirling like it was coming to life. She just stared. And the more she did that, the more she became drawn to it.

“It’s the Wakandan Sunset in that diamond.” Erik explains.

“When I was away within those 22 days I took time to fly out to Wakanda, to have this made for you.”

Brielle didn’t respond as her chocolate irises reflected the many swirling colors of that sunset.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Erik asked as his lips softly pecked her cheek down to her neck.

“This is truly a paradise Erik. I hope you plan on taking me there someday.”

“You don’t even gotta ask Brie Brie.” Erik would take her there in a heartbeat, that was no problem. He finally takes the necklace from her, instructing for her to lift her hair, as he crawled behind her on his knees, placing the necklace around her neck, securing it tightly. Erik loved the contrast of color against her mahogany skin, hell he loved every color on her skin.

Brielle looks up from her seated position to see her mistletoe hanging proudly and almost glistening from the glitter.

“I deserve a do over Stevens!” Erik watched as she pointed to the ceiling to see the festive plant hanging. He had to laugh at that one.

“Yeah you earned it girl, C’mere.” She turns to straddle his lap, eyes closed for sensory purposes, the only thing felt was the tickle of his breath on her skin and the soft pads of his thumbs over her cheeks. The sound of the Christmas playlist in the background could be heard faintly now, even the soft breathing of Muffin. She could feel warmth from his body heat grow closer and closer as she assumed it was him taking his time to asses her before sweeping her off her feet with just his divine lips. He was gentle and careful and the rapid breathing from her was persistent.

He kisses her jaw line first, soft and delicate, earning a lip bite. Instead of him retracting his lips from her face, he simply trails the moist flesh along the surface of her jaw all the way up to her cheek where he gave her yielding kisses that felt shy almost, teasing his brat. It sent goosebumps over her flesh when he kissed the side of her mouth, barely touching her lips. She encourages him with a gasp, the tickle of his moisturized lips slowly feasting the sides of her mouth, before finally consuming her deep, the pressure guaranteed to leave a bruise in its wake. She spread her lips and accepted the dip of his sweet tongue into her mouth, the appendage swirling hers releasing the taste of that butter from breakfast. That kiss could shatter her, it was the best kiss she received from him thus far, and it was the perfect do over under that mistletoe.

Erik felt her body go limp against his, gently leading her to the carpeted floor as his lips ravished hers and his tongue practically drowned her mouth.

-----------------------------------------------

Erik got dressed in his Champion reverse weave pullover sweatshirt in green with matching joggers. On his feet he work his new shoes from Brielle and the Rolex on his wrist. To keep him even more warm, he put on his Northface Retro Nuptse puffer coat in brown, with a matching brown custom made 47’ Brand New York Yankees ribbed beanie.

Brielle simply wore a vintage Juicy Couture velour tracksuit in a baby blue color with Juicy Couture spelled out on the back of her pants with rhinestones. She wore a pair of Timberlands in all white, with her hair swept into a tight bun at the nape of her neck with a side part and baby hairs. She wore a Lacoste puffer jacket in the colors white and light blue, white earmuffs over her ears with matching mittens. She was ADORABLE and Erik couldn’t keep his brown eyes off his girl.

Today was going to be a daring day for him to start, Brielle was taking him to the Wollman Rink in Central Park to go ice skating. Brielle had the cutest white skates that she had to break in a few times, and Erik would have to settle for a used pair at the rink. They both would have loved to take the new car Erik purchased for her but decided against it for later when it was dinner time.

Brielle’s personal driver let them out at the entrance to the park because Brielle wanted to enjoy a walk with her man and show him around. Erik had never taken the time to appreciate Central Park the many times he has been to NYC. They both visited the Conservatory Water, the bow bridge with cups of salted Caramel hot cocoa in their hands, sharing a kiss here and there. Erik recorded Brielle on the Boomerang app from his phone as she danced around the Bethesda Fountain playfully. All of those events finally led up to them arriving at the Wollman Rink, the crowd pretty large on this perfect Christmas morning.

“Ice skating in Central Park is one of the most picturesque activities. It’s better at night but we can do that another time.” Brielle was very much looking forward to this, but Erik felt differently.

“Now listen Brie Brie, I’m gonna let yo ass know now that I don’t know a damn thing about ice skating.” Erik and Brielle sat on a bench next to the rink, removing their shoes.

“I would assume so you’re from Cali.” She leans over to tie a perfect bow in her crisp white skates.

“Yeah, so if I go out on this rink and buss my fucking ass I’m blaming you aight?” Brielle rolls her eyes at Erik’s dramatic ass.

“Have you ever roller blade before?”

“Yeah when I was a kid.”

“Okay so, it’s like that except for it’s on ice not concrete.”

“SLIPPERY ice with BLADES not wheels.” Brielle lets out a breath of cold air, turning to Erik then, her hands on his, rubbing them since he decided not to wear gloves.

“E, I got you okay?! I’m not gonna let you fall face first on that ice and crack your skull open.” Erik did a double take at her, causing her to nibble on the side of her lip to stifle a laugh.

He squinted his eyes in suspicion.

“You sure you won’t let go of my fucking hand?”

“Yes.”

“You promise? cuz I would hate to have to punish you later for that.”

“Calm down E.” Brielle stands now on her skates, putting out both her hands for Erik to hold. He grabs them with caution, his eyes on his feet in those skates as he lifts from the bench, finally standing. They stand like that for a second, Erik’s face a little sour.

“Now all we gotta do is walk to the rink, and we are there. Okay?” Erik nods his head, meeting Brielle’s amused face.

“This shit ain’t funny Brielle.”

Brielle starts walking, her hand right in Erik’s as she watched him take tentative steps. He didn’t wobble or anything which was a good thing, but his eyes could not stay away from his feet. Finally at the entrance to the rink, Erik braces himself on the edge, letting go of Brielle’s hand, watching as his girl enters the rink with her right foot first, cascading over the ice with precision before turning back to stand in front of Erik. He had his eyebrow raised with shock, mouth parted with a continuous brisk air escaping.

“Let me guess, you took up skating lessons or some shit?”

Brielle simply smiles, giving him a wink before motioning for him to enter.

“Give me like...one minute Brie Brie.” The tip of his nose was so crimson, and his eyes slightly watered from the bite of cold air.

“E how else will you get over this fear?”

He scanned her face, closing his eyes slow before clapping his hands together, stepping around the wall to enter. The first look at him entering made her want to squeeze him from how adorable it was. Who would have thought a man like Erik Stevens would be afraid to ice skate? She was happy she got the opportunity to see this memorable side of him. He still braces himself on the wall, moving his feet back and forth to test the ice.

“Babe, the surface isn’t gonna get less slippery.”

He even had to laugh at that himself. Brielle skates closer, grabbing his hands from the wall, skating backward towards the center. Erik’s left foot slipped forward in surprise causing a string of curses to escape his mouth.

“Shit shit shit shit I was about to buss my fucking ass! Hold my hands tighter.” Brielle squeezes his hands for dear life as he concentrated on getting comfortable on the skates. After about three minutes of skating in a circle with their hands together, Erik went from looking at his feet, to looking at her, his movements forgotten. That gave Brielle the opportunity to let go of his hand, and allow him to have a little more independence. Erik seemed to like that too because he didn’t object.

Both of them started around the circle then, slowing down from time to time whenever Erik felt like he was going too fast. After about four laps around the rink, to Brielle’s surprise Erik was skating alone without her, ahead of her with his hands in his pockets, picking up speed. Brielle built momentum, crouching behind him to squeeze his booty. He actually squeals a little causing her to stumble before correcting herself with grace like it never happened.

“Don’t go grabbing my booty tryna trip me up!!!” If there was any snow he would definitely chuck a snowball in her face. Brielle skates ahead of him then, twirling a little, her movements mesmerizing as she skates around people with ease. Erik could watch her do that all damn day, he was in so much of a trance that he didn’t realize his impending doom straight ahead. Brielle did though, as she spun back in his direction, her hand coming to her mouth in shock as she watched Erik hit the wall on the side of the rink, falling back on his ass.

A few of the skaters who worked the rink approached him, mostly all women of course. Brielle skates over, crouching down before one of the women did to help him up.

“It’s cool I’ll take it from here, thanks.” Brielle gave her a dry smile before helping Erik up, his legs like spaghetti at first but finally, he was up and perched on the wall.

“Erik you good?” Brielle brushed the back of his pants off, pieces of ice sticking to the fabric.

“Remind me to never get caught up in a fucking trance when I look at you ice skate EVER AGAIN.” He waves her away, walking on his skates slow to the exit of the rink, his hand coming down to his butt.

“When we get back to my place I’ll give you a nice booty massage, how's that sound?” They both took off their skates, finally lacing up their shoes.

“A booty rub and a hot bath.” Brielle couldn’t lie about that.

-------------------------------------------------

Brielle sat on her sofa with her laptop, wearing a black fishnet chemise with lace trimming, a black g-string on and a pair of reading glasses. She had her hair out of her bun now and in wet curls from washing it in the shower while Erik was on an important call. She could hear him speaking a foreign language so she only assumed that he was speaking to his wakandan family.

Brielle bit into her glazed doughnut, checking her work emails to see if any new clients came through or if she had a booking from a celebrity for a stylist. So far, she had one offer that she approved, but that wasn’t until March. The sound of the continuous water hitting the water repellent and stain resistant glass of her shower doors, caused her to close her eyes and listen. She wanted to hear what sounds he made when he took a shower, and so far nothing could be heard. Brielle put this little lingerie on to hopefully get a taste of her man when he was finished, but now she wanted to save that for later on.

Brielle closes her laptop, lifting from the couch, removing every piece of that lingerie as she walked towards her master bedroom. The closer she walked, the more she began smelling a warm, creamy yet woodsy scent. She walks around her bed, finally standing in the doorway of the bathroom, watching the foggy image of Erik as he scrubbed at his hair, with his back facing her, his ample body coated from head to toe in that dripping water, brazen and desirable. She tiptoes over to him, finally pressing her body firm against the hot glass. Erik still hadn’t been aware of her presence, his head now under the detachable shower head hanging low, his arms bracing the wall as the water spilled down and over his dreads. This man was enticing, fascinating, gamy, hot, inviting...the list goes on.

Erik turns his head under the water, finally opening his eyes to meet the foggy image of a naked Brielle pressed firm against the shower in need. Erik strokes his wet hair back, walking up to that very shower door, pressing his body firm against the glass giving her a full proof view of every muscle. He wipes away the fog from the glass, finally staring down at his juicy, lascivious brat.

“You need something from me?” His voice vibrates off the shower walls.

“Let me in, I want you to make me cum.” She was blunt.

She could see that blurred smile behind the glass, finally watching as he pushes the glass door open, allowing her access. Brielle didn’t think twice as she enters, the change in temperature making her skin sensitive. Erik took no time to push her down on the edge of the tub, his dick in her face. Erik turns to grab the shower head, kneeling down in front of Brielle’s wide open legs, changing the water pressure. His playful promiscuous eyes fell on hers.

“Since you wanna cum so much I’m assuming you wouldn’t mind if I use this plus my tongue?” Brielle shivers.

“Not at all Daddy.” Brielle held her legs back, wet curly hair sticking to the wall and pussy open and wet. Erik took no time to put the water on her clit right along with his tongue, causing her to jerk her hips, causing Erik’s tongue to swipe her clit. The water pressure was too much already, making her clit grow harder and harder, his face getting wet and the water dripping off his lips and tongue. She could only moan and endure it, because it’s what she wanted.

“You better cum good too since you want it so bad.” Erik started alternating between sucking her clit and inner lips and placing intense pressure from the shower head on her clit.

“Your pussy mixed with this water mmmmm.” Brielle gripped Erik’s silky dreads, moving his head over her clit before he lifts to add water. She lowers his head to stick his tongue in her while the water hit her clit in the best way. She was about to cum but the pressure was addictive and she didn’t want to warn him.

“Aaaaaahhhh!!!” She moans out, Erik’s entire mouth on her now. He drops the water his mouth sucking up all her goodies like he was giving her one big sloppy kiss. She hoped that he wouldn’t cause her to fall onto the floor of the shower. She grabs his hair again, moving his mouth over her with a constant moan, her thighs shaking.

“Yes take this pussy..” her head drops.

Before she could cum, Erik lifts up gripping his dick at the base.

“I need to feel it real quick baby, just let me feel that shit.” Erik waits for no objection, sliding his dick into her pussy, fucking her right away. He didn’t come to play clearly, each stroke growing harder and harder each time he entered her. The water from the tips of his dreads fell onto her face, and each time their body crashed water bounced off of their bodies. His body began to slide so he picks up his brat, placing her against the shower wall as he fucked her. She rubs at the back of his head, her nails scraping over his smooth fade, before coming up to run her fingers in his dreads.

Tongues flicked, lips battled, eyes blazed, it was the best quickie she could ask for.

----------------------------------------------

Finally dressed in her denim tunic with the back cut deep and buttoned in the front, her Gucci Lisa GG Canvas Knee Boots on with her hair in a defined wash and go. Erik stood at her vanity rubbing some men’s Shea Moisture twist and lock cream scented with African black soap and tea tree oil through his hair. He then finished off with applying some beard balm from the same brand to his mustache and beard, the smell of maracuja oil and Shea butter wafting her nose. Erik wore a Banana republic cream colored sweater with light wash drop crotch jeans, his Christmas shoes on his feet and gold pinky rings with his signature gold chain and gold slugs. He looked amazing and tempting, deciding to put on her sherpa fur coat to distract her.

The ride over was quiet, and Brielle could tell that Erik was a bit nervous by the way he kept giving her small smirks and the tight grip he placed on her upper thigh. She leans over to kiss him, rubbing at his dimpled cheek to calm him.

They finally pulled up to 47 Bell point Drive in Brooklyn NY, the Luxury colonial house already inviting. Erik slips out the drivers side, opening Brielle’s door, helping her out. She could since the jittery nature of him and she didn’t want her Erik to feel like that.

“Hey, YOU.” She points at his sturdy chest, a stern look on her face, and Erik’s brown eyes meeting her brown with an unsure look.

“Relax, okay? It’s just a family dinner. Expect the nosey, pushy family. But you will definitely be welcomed and I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think otherwise.”

She playfully grips his chin, causing him to push her hand away.

“I got this, I’m cool. Just, make sure I don’t say TOO MUCH. My family already think I have no filter.”

“You don’t though.” Erik was ready to retort but Brielle grabs his hand, leading him to her old home.

As soon as that door opened, the smell of corn bread, ham, roast, sweet potatoes with brown sugar, collard greens mixed with kale, Mac and cheese, gravy with mashed potatoes, and so much more filled the air. The chatter of her family in the living room could be heard along with Luther Vandross a Merry Little Christmas playing on her moms beats pill she gifted her last Christmas. Brielle and Erik finally enter, shouts, hollers, screams, cheers, and laughter acknowledging her presence.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS BRIELLE!”

“Yay! Brielle is here!”

“Hey little cuz.”

“Come give auntie a hug!!”

“We miss you so much!!”

“How is everything?!”

“You look so beautiful!!”

Everyone talked at once and she couldn’t answer them all. Erik staggered behind, the gift bags in hand before placing them under the Christmas tree that reached the ceiling. As the overwhelming greeting settled, everyone looked over at Erik.

“And Who is this?” Brielle’s mom asks, pointing at Erik with a hand on her hip. Her sisters Justine and Onika giggles behind glasses of wine, and her grandmother smiles at him softly, while her grandfather looks at him sternly.

“Everyone, this is my boyfriend Erik.” She intertwines her fingers with his, watching as he waves hello, that vivacious grin across his lips.

“That’s all you can do is wave boy? You mute or something?!” Her mother says with sass that causes everyone to go quiet.

Brielle could use a good hide right now, but Erik simply chuckles.

“I see where she gets her sass from, I like a women with sass.” He steps forward, his arms open for a hug.

“Merry Christmas Mrs. Johnson.” Her mother actually blushes, walking up to Erik with a laugh before actually kissing his cheek.

“You’re the first of her boyfriends to say that! a man who can handle a women with attitude.” All the women giggled, including her own grandmother.

Erik walks around the room to hug everyone, her Aunt Diana hugging him a little long, her nose buried in his sweater. He shakes her Grandfather's hand, and her father as he comes up from his man cave dawned in Giants gear. Brielle could breath now, Erik really had a good impression so far on her family.

Everyone decided to do gift exchange first, and to Brielle’s surprise, Erik bought her mom and grandma Tiffany Victoria lin bracelets in platinum with diamonds, and her sisters with Return to Tiffany Mini Heart Tag Earrings in 18k white gold with diamonds. They shouted, shocked faces and many generous “thank you’s” hugging him tight, and kissing his face. Brielle could cry at that, she didn’t think he would go out of his way to buy them a gift as well, but then again Erik did ALOT for her alone. He was a man full of surprises.

Dinner was ready and everyone crowded around the family table that overlooked the round ceiling to floor windows that resided there. The night sky mixed with snow flurries was the perfect background for dinner. Her grandma gave her blessing to the food, and then everyone began filling their bellies. Erik was the special guest there besides a few others, but EVERYONE were checking for Erik’s approval.

“How’s the roast Erik? I cooked it in the crock pot this year with homemade gravy.”

He sampled it, licking his lips causing her mom to rest her chin on her intertwined fingers, smiling.

“Tender, moist, and savory Mrs. Johnson.” Her happiness flourished.

“You like my Mac and cheese? My sister kept telling me to add more cheese.” Justine asks. Erik samples that, clapping his hands together with a nod of his head.

“Mmm! It’s so good I can taste all the different cheeses in there.” Justine giggles.

How’s the greens baby? Not too spicy?” Her grandma chimes in.

“I like spicy, did you use Cajun seasoning? A little Cayenne?” Her grandma smiles that signature smile when she’s impressed.

“Those greens, my Father used to make for me when I was a little girl, it’s a family spice recipe.”

Straight after dinner comes sweet potato pie, rum cake, ice cream, pecan pie, and many other sweet treats. The rum cake was Erik’s favorite, eating four pieces before calling it quits.

It was drinking time and more family came over to join in, alcohol of all sorts being past around, drunk uno, spades, and the music switching over to hip hop. The Giants won so Brielle’s father wasn’t picky with the music that her older cousin Derek decided to mix. Erik stole glances at Brielle from his place on the couch between some of her family members, sipping on a little jungle juice mixture he had the pleasure of making. The wide open cut of the denim tunic gave him a clear view of the deep arch of her back and the dimples right above her bubble booty that he loved to nibble. The way her thighs looked covered in those Gucci boots made him want to fuck her with them on.

If watching her was an aphrodisiac Erik wouldn’t mind one fucking bit. He could tell his little brat was getting drunk from the way she fanned herself and the clumsy manner of her filling her drink cup, spilling some down her hand causing her to suck it up quickly. Her hair must have been annoying her then, because she kept flipping it out of her face to one side of her head, giving him a clear view of her delicate neck. Erik had to bite on the rim of his cup to control the growl, his legs swinging to put a damper on his erection. She tilts her head back, finishing off her drink before grabbing her Gucci shoulder bag, walking out the room and up the stairs. Erik’s eyes followed every single step she took.

Brielle shakes the water from her hands, turning to grab a paper towel because her mom didn’t like people to use her decorative towels. She opens her Gucci bag, pulling out her Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb in the color Diamond Milk-Shimmering Pearl. After that she fluffs her curly fro, profiling in the mirror a little before turning finally to open the bathroom door, finding her sinuous, salacious boyfriend right there as if to surprise her.

“So what, you following me Daddy?” She looked up at him through her lashes.

“You didn’t think I would notice you eyeing me from that spot on the couch?”

She eyes him up and down, tilting her head.

“What makes you think I’m following you ?” He teases, bending over her in the door frame.

“What makes you think You’re not?” He didn’t have a response for that last bit.

“If I were to tell you I’m following you, what would you do about it?” He challenges.

She flips her curly hair over her shoulder, straightening her spine.

“What would you want me to do about it?”

Erik scuffs, licking his lips.

“The point of asking a question, is for you to fucking answer it. Don’t play with me Brie Brie.”

“Well what if I’d rather be defiant?” She whispers.

“Then that calls for me to punish you.” He whispers back.

She gave him an uneasy stare, feeling his hand on her back now, rubbing his fingertips into it before wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her up and over his shoulder in one motion. She squeals low, her curly hair bouncing along his back and his greedy hands gripping and slapping her ass playfully. Now traveling down the dim lit hallway, Brielle starts to giggle attempting to guide Erik to her childhood room.

“It’s straight ahead, the last door on the right near the attic.” Erik turns left and right, almost making Brielle slam her face into the wall. They both laugh, Erik continuing down the hall, finally coming up on a door with butterfly stickers on the outside.

“How cute, I bet you were a hot little thing.”

“Had all the boys wanting to look up my uniform skirt.” Erik tried to imagine that image. He would have been all over Brielle back then just as much as he is now.

“I would have put my whole head under that fucking skirt.” Brielle snorts a laughter as Erik jiggles the door open, darkness ahead with the smell of a vanilla bean candle. Finally in her room, closing the door, Erik pulls Brielle down from his shoulder, flicking on her light switch to ignite the large space. It was a circular room with a window seat, a desk in the corner with a purple lamp that began collecting dust, little glittery stickers on it. Her walls were painted purple too, and there was an entire design wardrobe with different fabrics in it and a sewing machine. There was a lot to digest but the feeling of Brielle’s petite hand on the waist line of his pants dragging him to her bed made Erik snap out of it.

“So this is the chick who talked like she was ready for me?”

She didn’t waver from his gaze as she sat on her old bed Erik’s head leaning further towards hers. He kisses her jaw line, the pouty bottom lip of his hanging under her jaw, eyes closed.

“C’mon girl it’s just us two, show me that firecracker chick who wants me to take her.”

Brielle stands on her bed, pulling her tunic over her head to reveal just her lace g-string that she had on earlier, bare chest with hard nipples. Erik takes no time to pull his sweater over his head, slipping his bottoms off next with his dick standing at attention. He begins kissing her bare belly, tonguing her sweet skin. Brielle edges him on further, addicted to the texture of his tongue the way it raked over her hot flesh.

“Mmm, that shit feels good.” She whispers again, Erik trails upward now taking one of her nipples into his mouth, surprising her by slapping her ass, causing her to gasp, then giggle.

“I don’t want to hear a giggle I want to hear a cry.” Erik slaps her ass HARDER, causing her to clench her cheeks, whimpering now.

“That’s more like it, now I want you to SCREAM.” Brielle giggles again.

“Scream? Sorry daddy my family are down stairs try again.” Erik pulls down Brielle’s g-string, his girl lowering to the bed now, her legs wide with her hand rubbing at her pussy.

“When I put this dick in you, you’ll be screaming then.”

“I bet the fuck I won’t.” She wasn’t about to scream in her family home, not with her grandma downstairs.

Erik puts his mouth on Brielle’s pussy, holding her legs back to stop her from closing them. She leans up on her elbows, edging him on with her hips and silent moans escaping her lips.

“I don’t hear a moan Bratty Brie.” Erik twirls his tongue over her clit.

“Aaah, mmmm ooooo.” She moans in an undertone.

Erik takes his dick, rubbing it along her wet pussy, the sound of his harsh breath in her ears. Without a warning, Erik consumed her, watching Brielle cover her mouth with both her hands, Erik practically doing push ups in her pussy rough, the slapping of flesh loud against the walls with no restraint. Brielle has to bite the palm of her hand to control it, the head of Erik’s dick hitting her g-spot each and every time he entered her. She could feel pressure as if wanting to pee, and he knew that this angle made her squirt like crazy. She mumbles behind her hand shaking her head.

“What’s that? I can’t hear you I’m too busy stroking these tight ass walls you got.” Her toes curled against each other, legs shaking uncontrollably now before finally letting out a loud cry, the old comforter underneath her growing wet.

“Thought you said I wouldn’t make you cry?” He was definitely sexed up.

She spoke very softly, using only her breath and not her vocal cords.

“Fuck me, harderrr.” Erik gets on the bed then, pulling Brielle on top of him, straddling him. He pumps up into her body, watching her bounce, the bed creaking loudly now.

“You gonna get me in trouble daddy.” She’s audible now, hands over top of Erik’s as he grabs her breasts.

“You were a nasty little girl weren’t you? Sneaking niggas in here behind your mama's back?” Erik slaps her ass to get an answer out of her.

“Yess Daddy.” She bites her lip, grinding over his dick.

“You fuck em like this? Or were you too shy to get the dick?” Erik sticks his thumb into her mouth watching her suck it slow.

“I was a tease. They had to fight for the goods.” That was a true Brat response.

“I’m not gonna lie I wish it was me who got that pussy first back then.” Erik holds her hips in place, fucking up into her with savagery staring down at the way her pussy feasted on his dick. His hands couldn’t control themselves as they smacked and gripped and jiggled her ass. He loved her ass it seemed, his hands couldn’t stay away for a second.

“Say Daddy fuck my pussy please.”

“Daddy fuck my pussy, please?”

Erik causes the bed to slide, his movements so strong it had his dick practically slip out of her, causing her to put him back inside. He didn’t even allow her to remove her hand from his dick as he fucked her, Brielle face contorting before a tiny scream escapes her mouth with difficulty, cumming a second time.

“Say daddy cum inside me deep.”

Erik needed to be deeper, he picks his little brat up, bringing one of her legs over his shoulder while the other was around his waist, laying her flat on the bed again, pushing himself deep to the point where he felt her barrier.

“Daddy cum in me deep, please?”

They were both way past the point of quiet, the entire house could probably still hear them over the loud music from downstairs. Erik licked and sucked at her neck over and over, his nose imprinted into her skin with each stroke. His arms began to shake, and his back flexed as he thrust forward two more times so rough it caused tears to fall from her eyes, his body shivering while he emptied into her.

Erik’s breath finally becomes more leveled, his mouth coming up to kiss at her cheek, taking his teeth to nibble her there with a wrinkle of his perfect nose.

“You’re welcome.” He says all cocky.

“Thank you Santa.” She says with a roll of her eyes.

---------------------------------------------

It was 1:00am and the party still seemed to thrive, but that didn’t mean no one noticed their absence. The both of them enter the kitchen to get another drink and some pecan pie, Brielle’s grandma sitting at the kitchen island with a cigarette in her hand, a small glass of what looked like whiskey.

“Hey Grannyma I didn’t know you were in here.” Brielle shakes her curls, walking over to her grandma giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Erik leans against the kitchen island, sipping his drink while Brielle made him and her a hefty slice of pie to share.

“I never knew my granddaughter to be such a little minx; a firecracker.”

Brielle slows her movements while cutting the pie, her eyes blinking in confusion at her grandmother’s topic of discussion.

“What made you…say that?” Brielle plates the pie, turning to make it back to the island with two forks, eyes on Erik now as he pauses with his cup to his lips.

“Well, you did get it from your mother, but where do you think she got it from child?” Brielle’s skin grew hot...did she?

“All I’m saying is, you have a handsome young man in your life, and I’m sure he is very much blessed in many other ways besides his looks. I heard you straight through the ceiling baby, you don’t remember your bedroom being directly over top of the kitchen?” Brielle’s eyes practically left her sockets, a hand coming up to cover her mouth and Erik now with a fist to his mouth to stop a laugh from coming.

“Omg-Grannyma I’m...I….shittttt.”

Her grandmother put up a hand to her, stopping her words.

“Do yourself a favor baby and stop while you're ahead. Why explain yourself? It’s just sex.” Erik and Brielle couldn’t believe their ears, watching as this women drinks the rest of her whisky, putting out her cigarette and lifting from the island with grace.“Now let's go enjoy the company, it’s still Christmas!!!!” She leaves but Brielle and Erik are frozen, that is until Erik finally lets out that laugh he had been holding in.

@panthergoddessbast @eriknutinthispoosy @hearteyes-for-killmonger @whoramilaje @thehomierobbstark @itsangeludaku @ange-sensuel @allhailnjadaka @hdkween @vikkidc @killmonger-dolan @killmongersgurl @killmongersaidheyauntie @heyauntieeee @erikslulbaby @erik-killmcnger @wifin-niggaz @muse-of-mbaku @blowmymbackout @killmongersprincess @blackpantherismyish @chaneajoyyy @softnani @whorderofthepheonix @purple-apricots @destinio1 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @laketaj24 @bidibidibombaclaat @wakanda-inspired @wawakanda-btch @iamrheaspeaks @drsunshine97​ @princessstevens​ @blackpinup22​ @erikismybitch​ @killmongerdispussy​ @kaytauru​ @shesakillerkween​ @janelledarling​ @loosewindmill​ @n-jadaddy​ @wakandawinning​ @disneysdarlingdiva​ @forbeautyandlife​ @unfriendly-blk-hottie​ @brittyevans​ @deja-r​ @missumuch1918​ @blxckquiescent​ @blue-sunflowerr​ @thiccdaddy-mbaku​ @youreadthatright​ @youcantkillamutant​ @yourstrulyylauren​ @supersizemeplz​ @highlifeflylife​ @onyxvixen-writer​ @faatassbitch​ @theblulife​ @abeautifulmindexposed​ @hairhattedhooligan​ @jozigrrl​ @tiava143​ @killmongersmistress​ @afrikandoll​

[knifeshoeoreofight]

part 1  part 2  part 3  part 4 part 5 part 6

A03

Sid is nervous. He checks his phone. The battery’s full, he charged it just before he left. He frets to himself yet again if the camera is going to be good enough for the dim light. He—

“Sid.” Zhenya is smiling fondly at him, and he takes Sid’s hand from where he’d been clenching it nervously on his thigh. Zhenya laces their fingers together, and leans over to press a kiss against Sid’s temple.

“Hey now, not in front of the children,” Flower teases, leaning past Vero who rolls her eyes.

“It’s his go around at this,” Veronique says with a laugh. “With stakes in it, I mean.”

Sid blushes, and glances up at Zhenya, who is gazing at him, naked fondness written all over his face.

He leans in to whisper in Sid’s ear. “She gonna be fine, we practice so much. Will be so cute. And then we take her for dessert after. Diner has good pie. We let her get with ice cream on top.”

We.

It takes Sid’s breath away. He has to look away, at the other families settling into folding chairs in the elementary school gym. Zhenya leans in to press his shoulder against Sid’s, and settles their clasped hands on his knee.

Sid doesn’t have time to continue to try and handle his emotions, the lights are being turned off, except for the spotlights pointed at the curtained stage in front of them.

The grey-haired music teacher sounds a few chords on the piano, and the elementary school holiday play begins.

***

The play is a retelling of the Rudolph story, emphasizing the power of friendship. Sofia is one of the reindeer, and she’s mostly supposed to stand in a little group with the others and make appropriate reactions to the events of the play.

It’s utterly, completely, the most adorable thing Sid has ever seen. A small cluster of the tiniest kids sing a little song dressed as snowflakes and the audience makes adoring “awwww”s at each cute little slip-up, like the boy dressed as an elf who spots his mom in the audience and waves wildly to her.

Sofia is trying so hard, Sid can see it. She’s got a intense look of concentration on her face all throughout the song and dance she does with the other reindeer. Sid finds himself mouthing the lyrics along with her. She’s been singing it over and over for days, practicing. She gets through it, does perfectly.

There’s a little scene where Rudolph is sad because he’s a new reindeer at the North Pole, and he’s not sure if the penguins and the polar bears and the other reindeer will play with him. Sid leans forward and tightens his grip on Zhenya’s hand. This is her big moment. The little boy playing Rudolph is sadly sitting cross-legged at center stage, chin in his hands. Sofia is supposed to walk over, and say “of course you can play with us, Rudolph! Come with me, it’ll be fun! “ as she extends a hand to walk him back to the others.

He sees Sofia gulp, and lift her chin. She steps out of the cluster of other reindeer, little bells on her antler headband jingling in the quiet.

She walks over to the boy, and then, stops. She looks down at the little boy, and thanks to his insistence on getting there early so they can sit dead center in the front, Sid can see her chin wrinkle and her eyes glitter, and he knows she’s about to cry. Oh, no. His heart sinks, and he mentally starts planning on how to comfort her after this.

“Don’t be sad!” she blurts, which is definitely not her line, and drops to her knees and throws her arms around “Rudolph” for a crushing hug. Also not what was supposed to happen. “Don’t be scare!” She definitely crying a little. But Sid can see her take a breath and calm herself.

“Ofcouseyoucanplay withus, Rudoph! C...Come with me, it’s— be— fun!” she says, and Sid lets out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. She clambers to her feet and tugs little Rudolph to the other reindeer, to a moved murmuring from the audience, and a scattering of applause that grows to include the entire room. She stares into space, still in character but red as a tomato.

The piano begins to play again, as the reindeer hop around the stage in a circle holding hands with various penguins and polar bears.

Sid looks over at Zhenya, sees that he has tears streaming down his face. It’s Sid’s turn to squeeze their hands together in reassurance.

“Such big heart,” Zhenya leans down to whisper thickly into Sid’s ear.

“I know,” Sid whispers back. “Gets it from her papa.” Zhenya makes an inarticulate noise, and has to let go of Sid’s hand to wipe his nose on his sleeve, because neither of them had thought to bring Kleenex.

The play continues, and when it’s over and all kids take their bows by class, Sid and Zhenya get to whoop and cheer for Sofia, and she looks out and smiles wide when she finds them past the lights.

After, she runs out from backstage to let her father pick her up and spin her around, and to be told how perfect she was.

Then she twists in her father’s arms and reaches for Sid. He takes her from Zhenya, and she clings to him like a little koala. She rests her head on his shoulder and Sid holds her tight and closes his eyes against the sweet, sweet pain of how much he’s come to love her.

“Sid?’ She says in his ear. “I do okay?”

“Perfect, sweetheart,” Sid tells her, and Zhenya smiles at him and the way his voice croaks with feeling.

***

They go to the diner for the promised pie, and Sofia chatters away in a hodgepodge of Russian and English about the play.

At a lull, when she’s contentedly licking ice cream from her spoon, Zhenya clears his throat.

“Зайка,” Zhenya says to her, then glances at Sid, and lays his hand on the table between them, palm up and waiting. “Need to talk about something, okay?”

Sid can’t breathe. They’d agreed when they’d first gotten together that they weren’t going to tell Sofia just yet. Has Zhenya changed his mind? Hesitantly, he takes Zhenya’s hand.

“Papa and Sid are dating,” Zhenya says, including Sid by using English. He repeats it in Russian. Sid can feel him nervously tighten his hand in Sid’s.

Sofia takes another bite of ice cream. She looks at Sid. “Marisol have two mommies,” she says. “I’m have two papas?”

It’s Sid’s turn to grip Zhenya’s hand. He takes a long, shuddery inhale, everything in him aching at the picture her words paint.

“Maybe,” Zhenya says gently, looking at Sid, then back to his daughter. “Right now we be very special friends. Maybe we visit Sid a lot, maybe he visit us.”

Sofia grins at Sid, wide and sunny. “I like Sid house.” She takes a big bite of pie, reaches up to fix her slipping antler headband. “I like Sid.”

“I like you too, sweetheart,’ Sid says, still fighting his emotions. Zhenya reaches an arm around him, pulling him close against him, and noisily bussing his temple.

“Can do this, now,” He says, in tones of great satisfaction. Sid laughs and snuggles in, daring to lay his head on Zhenya’s shoulder. He’s never been one for a lot of PDA, but he’s finding that just about everything is different when it comes to Zhenya.

The doors to the diner open with a jingling of bells, letting in a blast of cold air and a lot of happy, noisy Fleurys.

Flower sees how he and Zhenya are sitting, and winks at them, prodding at Vero to look.

Sid rolls his eyes, but doesn’t move, warm and content to stay just where he is.

***

A couple days later, he gets a call that he’s been waiting anxiously for.

“Bro!” Taylor screeches into the phone. “Squid, Squidney, Squidathon. I’m. Fucking. Done. They’re over. Vanquished. Deceased.”

Sid laughs. She’s always a little bonkers by the time final exams are over. “Did you get your grades back yet?”

“I don’t even care anymore at this point, I am a being made of pure caffeine and sleep deprivation. My field of fucks? Is barren. I’m literally booking it out of here as fast as humanly possible.”

Sid laughs again. “Well I can’t wait to see you, so that sounds like a plan to me. What time do you need to be picked up?”

“Ass o’clock in the morning on Saturday,” Taylor replies. And then I’m going to sleep. All day. Maybe all day Sunday.”

He doesn’t blame her, after finals weeks and an overnight bus ride. “Absolutely. Come sleep it off. I may have even have washed the sheets sometime between now and last year this time. You know, ‘cause I Iove you and shit.”

He tucks the phone more securely between his shoulder and his ear as he gets a pristine set of sheets out of the linen closet.

“You’re too good to me,” Taylor says dryly. There’s a lot of rustling around on her end as she presumably keeps packing her bags.

Every since Sid’s taken over the farm completely, family Christmas has taken place at his house. He absolutely loves it. Noise, laughter, food, everyone he cares about in one place. His favorite part, though, might be the couple of days he has with Taylor before the rest of the family arrives.

She’s been leaving her university and heading straight to his place as soon as her finals are over for the last couple of years. She helps out with the last minute holiday rush on Christmas trees and takes charge of decorating his house, because, as she puts it, “I’m all for kicking traditional gender roles to the fucking curb, but you are absolutely hopeless and I’m taking over from now on.”

“Yes ma’am,” he’d told her with relief. “And I’ll do all the cooking. We can kick traditional gender roles halfway to the curb, how about it, eh?” And it’s been their special thing ever since.

There’s one thing he’s got to tell her, though, about this year.

“So, uh,” he says, brilliantly. “You remember I told you I was seeing someone?”

“Oh yeah, Evgeni with the cute kid. We’re Instagram buddies.”  

“You’re what,” he says, shaking his head and deciding he doesn’t want to know how that happened. “Anyway, it’s um. Pretty serious. So he and Sofia will be around a lot. Just letting you know.”

“Duuuude!” Taylor crows delightedly. “Sid! I’m so happy for you, oh my god!”

Sid laughs. “I’m happy for me, too.”

“Good,” Taylor says warmly. “And I  won’t even insult your judgement by giving him the shovel talk.”

“Thanks for that.”

“If he does hurt you, I will of course, skin his eyeballs.”

Sid groans. “Tay. Gross.

There’s a clatter and some yelling in the background. “Okay, I gotta go, Squid. But I’ll see you soon.”

***

Taylor doesn’t meet Zhenya and Sofia until the day of what Taylor calls “Target Trek 2k18.”

They drive to the next town over, which has more of the shopping that Taylor wants to do.

She eyes him as they walk into the store. “Now that you’re dating a dude with a kid, I can’t let you loose in a toy aisle unsupervised. Uh-uh.”

“I am not that bad,” Sid protests.

Taylor rolls her eyes. “I remember the first Christmas after Estelle was born. You must be contained.”

His phone rings as he’s trying to get her in a headlock for a noogie .

“Hey, ba—Zhenya,” he amends, as Taylor snickers at him.

“Hey, Sid. Wanted to ask if you wanted to get lunch, know you’re out doing errand today.”

“Absolutely,” Sid says, eyeing Taylor. “Tay and I are in Midfield. That too far?”

“Not for sushi,” Zhenya enthuses. Sid laughs. Their little town is pretty awesome but what it does lack, to Zhenya’s distress, is a sushi place.

They make plans to meet at Zhenya’s favorite little hole-in-the-wall in an hour. After he hangs up, Sid sighs at Taylor, who looks seconds away from full-blown witch cackles.

“So sweeet,” she coos at him, and then dances away with a shriek as he brandishes a roll of wrapping paper at her.

“Behave,” he admonishes. She makes the mistake of coming back within range and he bops her on the head with the wrapping paper.

They bicker until, two aisles later, Taylor turns to him, suddenly serious.

“I know how important they are to you, Sid. I know I’m giving you a hard time but I know how much you want this to work.”

He has to swallow down something really sappy before he has the composure to fake-punch her shoulder.

***

As she always seems to, Sofia is the first to see Sid.

“Siiiiiiid!” she shrieks, sounding like nothing so much as an approaching police siren. Just, cuter.

Sid crouches and scoops her up, making exaggerated noises of complaint as she scrambles up onto his shoulders, tiny pink sneakers digging into his back as she settles herself.

When she’s secure and he’s standing again, face being squished between her little hands, Taylor is staring at him, smile wide and eyes soft.

She doesn’t say anything, just turns to enthusiastically greet Geno as they all head into the restaurant together.

#if wishes were #sidgeno #sidney crosby/evgeni malkin #hockey rpf #dana writes a thing

[4birds-of-a-feather]

Chapter 26 - Man, it doesn’t show signs of stoppin’ [part 3]

Birds Of a Feather

(In the previous chapters: Layla’s stuck at SeaTac and gives a call to WC Boyfriend who, once more, confirms to be the shittiest boyfriend ever; in the meantime, Sara has reunited with her long-lost cat and an acquaintance of her family, but it wasn’t all peaches and dandelions. WARNING: the other super-short update – we know that we had promised you to update sooner, but we were busy with our job, studies and festivities – just in time to wish you a fantastic 2018!)

Sara walked upstairs back to the loft, frantically rummaging in her shoulder bag to find the apartment keys. When she arrived on the landing, she jumped. “Fuck, mr. California! You scared the shit out of me!” the girl angrily shouted, almost dropping her headphones “The fuck are you doin’ out here???” The singer was in fact sitting on the floor, next to the front door – notebook and pen in his lap. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he quickly grabbed the objects and hid them behind his back “It’s just that I went for a walk but forgot my keys on the table, and Jeff’s gone to a party, so…” “No problem: Layla left me hers” she made the keys clink under Eddie’s nose, so the singer smiled and stood up while she made the lock spring open. When they went inside, Sara stopped in the hallway to hang her coat, scarf and bonnet, while Eddie was looking at her, scratching his nape. “Weren’t… weren’t you supposed to spend this day with your family?” he finally asked, almost startling her. The girl gulped, rubbed her blubber eyes and put on a rather convincing cheerful voice, trying not to let him notice her real attitude. “Oh, yes, it’s just-I went to my parents’ house and I noticed that my mom’s relatives from Portland were there too… They’re annoying and know-it-all and kind of churchy too… <Why in hell did I mention Portland? Fuckin’ A, Fancini! Congrats!> … So I just drew the attention of my dad, without making the others notice me, and I explained him that I couldn’t tolerate ‘em, so he agreed and made up some persuasive excuse too… I guess my mum will understand, even if they’re her siblings and shit like that” she ended her monologue and finished to hang all her things, while Eddie was still looking at her. “So… this means you survived” he gave her a warm smile and she did the same. “Yeah, I guess so… Man, I fuckin’ hate these festivities! Hypocrisy flows in torrents” “Don’t tell me… The fuckin’ triumph of bleeding hearts, ugh” the singer soon joined her in that anti-Christmas rant and the two of them quickly ended bursting into laughter. “Glad to see another cynical and black soul around here – the world is too full of retarded Santa’s little helpers” “Man, I hate those lil’ fuckers!” Eddie laughed again, then his eye fell upon a packet full of ribbons that was under the Christmas tree – Sara’s gaze followed his own one. “Oh, you noticed Layla’s work of art…” “… How the fuck does she know that yesterday was my birthday?!” he finally exclaimed, making the girl look at him in disbelief. “Wait a minute: yesterday was your birthday?!” “… SHIT” “Why the fuck didn’t you tell us, Eddie??? You really are grown up in the woods, for fuck’s sake!” Sara scolded him, her eyes plopping out of her head. “I don’t know… I just didn’t want to bother, that’s all” he shrugged, not knowing what else to say. “… you really are weird” the girl sighed, shaking her head “Anyway, that’s your Christmas present… Layla always remembers this kind of things so, in your shoes, I wouldn’t be bothered…” “Didn’t she buy you anything?” Ed asked her, noticing that his pack was the only one under the Christmas tree. “Who do you think you’re talkin’ to??? Of course she bought me something, I’m her fuckin’ best friend!” she gave him a little slap in the nape “But I’ve already hidden it… ya know, with that animal of Ament that freely scampers in this loft, you’ll never know what he could do to my wealth” The guy laughed again “I think I’ll take the risk – I’ll leave mine here” “As you wish, mr. California – I won’t be the one who’s gonna stop you… don’t say I didn’t warn ya” He nodded and started to go in his room’s direction, then stopped and looked at her. “I guess I’m goin’ in my room to listen to some records… Wanna join me?” Sara winced a little, but quickly regained her usual aplomb. “Yeah, why not?” she shrugged “Just gimme a minute and I’ll come” “Ok, great – I’ll leave the door open, no need to knock” The girl nodded and made her way to the bathroom, while he stood in the hallway a few other seconds; when he saw the ringlets at the end of her ponytail disappear, he finally went in his bedroom.  

<Nothing happened – you’re perfectly capable to have a natural conversation without embarrassing yourself… you’re gonna fuckin’ own this, you’ll see> Sara splashed her face, then looked at her tired reflection in the mirror: she could still spot some glitter but decided that her cheeks had already been rubbed enough – oh, and her face was the embodiment of misery. <I’m gonna be fuckin’ owned, ugh – this motivational bullshit is pathetic> She took a deep breath and made her way to Ed’s room, stopping just outside: Quadrophenia had just started playing when she peeped out from the doorjamb. “Am I still welcome?” Eddie raised his eyes from the books he was browsing and gave her a smile. “Always – come in!” he went to close the door and gestured for her to find a place to sit; she decided to take a seat on the floor, near the bookshelf where he was standing before. Soon after the guy approached her, waving something with a playful grin: “What did I tell you? Here, see for yourself” He handed her the infamous Polaroid he had taken with Joe Strummer and the girl sneered. “Since a month has almost passed, I thought you had made the whole story up…” she provoked him, without tearing her gaze from Strummer’s autograph at the bottom of the picture. “Yeah, in fact this photo is false as the fact that in 1977 I saw Springsteen and the E Street Band…” he casually added, going to sit next to her. “… you did what???” “… and I also saw The Who in 1979, when I was almost fifteen years old” “YOU LUCKY BASTARD!” Sara kicked him, making him laugh. “Why, are you telling me you never went to a concert?” Eddie mocked her with an evil smile. “Yeah, in fact Fleetwood Mac in 1980, Cat Stevens in 1976 or Led Zeppelin in 1977 were just hallucinations” “HOLY SHIT!” the guy exclaimed, surprised “Wait a minute, Cat Stevens in 1976? How old were-” “Eight years old, and he played divinely” she smiled again “Anyway, I won’t be jealous about you seeing The Who – Moon The Loon was already underground, I can tolerate it” “Shit, you were just a child! And Zeppelin at nine years old – I’m not surprised you turned out like this” Eddie spoke again, then laughed for her second statement. Soon after The Real Me began to play and Sara’s smile turned into a big grin. “The Ox is fuckin’ awesome here – I mean, I can totally say that he’s my favorite bass player without any doubt” “You love Quadrophenia too?” Eddie’s eyes lit up at the thought of a fellow fan of The Who. “Well, that’s not my favorite album made by them, but my second favorite song that they composed is here, so I guess I have to give it some credit” “Just spit out the title” “Love, Reign O’er Me, obviously” “I knew it – sooo, this means that your favorite album’s Tommy…” “Nope – Who’s Next” she gave him a mischievous grin “My favorite song is there, guess it!” The guy mentally listed the tracklist, then answered: “The Song Is Over, right?” “… you’re starting to impress me, ya know?” Sara mocked him, and he laughed. “Sooooo” after a while Ed cleared his throat “what are our plans for Christmas’ Eve?” “Well, since our beloved chef’s not here… I guess we’re fucked, mr. Surfin’ U.S.A.” “Nope, listen: food problem will be solved with pizza delivery… but what about after dinner?” “Why are you lookin’ at me as if I were the life and soul of all parties?!” “Hmm, maybe we could go out and drink somethin’…” he ignored her and went on with his suggestions. “… so then we would be surrounded by stupid people with their fuckin’ stupid Santa Claus hats or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer antlers?! No, thank you!” “Or we could reach Jeff at the party he went to…” “You really want a Seattle remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night, don’t ya?” The guy laughed again, then raised his hands in order to declare himself innocent: “Oook, I get it! How about stayin’ at home and watchin’ some old movie provided by yours truly?” “Are you really makin’ me responsible for our pre-Christmas entertainment?” “C’mon, don’t be too modest! I liked Neighbors and I’m sure-” “Of course you liked it, I kept tellin’ you that you’re Belushi’s alter-ego!” Sara interrupted him, while he stuck his tongue out. “… I was telling ya that I liked Neighbors and I’m sure you’ll do a great job this evening too, that’s all” “… Whatevs” “Great! An Italian one, please” “What? Don’t tell me you’ve ever watched one of them!” “Yep, Miracle in Milan” “NO FUCKIN’ WAY!” the girl exclaimed, sincerely enthusiastic “D’ya know that its last scene inspired the E.T.’s one with the bicycles lifting into the air?” “Shit, that’s why I had a déjà vu when I first watched it!” “Sorry, I’ll stop immediately with my movie geek act – I know it’s weird, I just can’t help it” “No problem, I learnt something new” The girl gave him a grateful smile, then resumed her considerations:  “Hmm, so you watched somethin’ from Neorealism… What about Commedia all’Italiana? Err, I mean, Italian-style comedy?” she quickly corrected herself, while Ed smiled because of those few Italian words. “Yeah, why not? I mean, Neorealism is great, but I’d like somethin’ lighter” “Well, ‘lighter’ is not the word I’d use to describe I Mostri, but it’s an awesome example of how great satire could be” “I’m in your hands, I’m sure you won’t disappoint me” Eddie cracked another smile “Dubbed?” “In your fuckin’ dreams, Vedder! I’ve got the subtitled version, this is no place for heretics!” “Yeah, I thought so… I also bet that on March you showed off the Italian flag when Cinema Paradiso won the Academy Award, am I right?” “… you almost got it” was her embarrassed answer, while the guy laughed and stood up to put his notebook in a drawer. “That’s your holy Bible full of personal lyrics, huh?” she asked him, and he immediately turned to face her, as if he had just received a punch in the face “Because that’s what your songs are… Autobiographic, like a diary” Eddie didn’t say anything and lowered his head, and soon Sara was forced to interrupt that awkward silence. “I’m-I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch but, well!, apparently that was the final result…” she wrung her hands “Man, I really suck with social interactions” “It’s ok, don’t worry” the guy finally opened his mouth again and went to sit on the floor, next to her. “Did all that stuff happen to you?” she asked, after a while. “Except for the incest, yeah… I have lacked for nothing” “… shit” she took a deep breath, trying to clear her thoughts “I’m-I’m so sorry, Ed” “Yeah, I know you really mean it” he said in a low voice, then brought his knees to the chest. “Would my humble singing your praises make you feel a little better?” “Why, did you really like the songs or are you just givin’ me a lump of sugar?” he abruptly raised his head and shot her a nasty glance. “Fuck, do I really look like a person who gives compliments away?!” she retorted, starting to get worked up. “Are we really assembling a conversation by using only questions?” he went on, finally being able to chuckle, while the girl soon followed him – she mentally thanked him for making both of them a bit more relaxed than before. “Anyway – yes, I really liked ‘em, I think you’re a worthy lyricist… At least, the few times I can understand what the fuck you’re singing” At those words the guy laughed heartily and gave her a playful push, to which she answered with another one, a bit stronger. “But yeah, jokes aside: we can totally say that I’m in presence of talent” she winked at him and he thanked her, a bit embarrassed but pleased all the same. When Eddie resumed to talk, I’m One was playing in the background. “Oh, I was almost forgetting to tell ya that I really like your voice” Sara immediately froze, then slowly turned in his direction. “I beg your pardon, what did you just say?” “I said that I like your voice… I heard you, you sing pretty well” “WHEN DID YOU HEAR ME?!” “Well, a few days ago, when we hung out at that bar and-” “Holy Marvin Gaye, I knew that the whole karaoke thing was a shitty idea!” she facepalmed. “… but I heard ya yesterday too, while you were taking a shower” “Fuckin’ A, Vedder! Since when are you overhearing me?!” the girl asked him, her eyes almost plopped out of her head. “Err, since when you’ve started to sing Elton John out loud…?” “That’s because I thought I was alone! I thought that nobody was at home, except me! And instead you were there, lurkin’ like a vulture!” At that last comparison the singer laughed out loud, making Sara even more irritated. “C’mon, don’t be offended! I just wonder why you’re freakin’ out like that!” he tried to ease the situation, given how she didn’t seem to relax. “Because I don’t want anyone to know it, genius! I don’t like it, it’s just a personal thing” “… a personal thing?” “Yeah, a promise I made to someone – someone really important, but that was just a thing between the two of us” “Hmmm, understood” he thought over something, then resumed to talk “My father… he sang too. I mean, that’s what other people told me – I met him a few times, as a family friend, but I didn’t talk to him that much… And then one day my mum took me aside and told me that who I thought was my father was actually my step-father, and that my real dad was ‘that man that once in a while came to visit us, you remember?’ but he had already died, and I-I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do, or say, or think, or feel, and-” Eddie stopped talking and took a deep breath, probably in the attempt to not cry, but Sara had already noticed his eyes becoming bright with tears. “It’s ok, Eddie, you don’t have to talk about it” she carefully put a hand on his shoulder and softly squeezed it, while he let out a deep sigh. <Am I the first one to hear his story? Well, who cares! I mean, he trusted me and told me all these things –  maybe I should tell him about-> The girl’s thoughts were interrupted by the noise of a guitar’s sound box – Ed had grabbed the instrument and now was strumming it absent-mindedly, trying to tune it. “You play guitar?” “Yeah, a little bit… Well, playing is a huge word: let’s just say that I strum away on it” “Hmmm, I see” “You’re gonna make me listen to somethin’, right?” “What?!” she almost choked “Absolutely not – this is a categorical no!” “I’m sorry but I won’t accept refusals of any type” “… are you blackmailing me?” “Hmmm, maybe… you think I am?” “I think so, Alvin without the Chipmunks!” The guy laughed: “C’mon, just a song! It’s just the two of us – nobody will ever come to know this, I promise” Sara rolled her eyes, so Eddie went on: “Silence gives consent… fine, let’s do this!” He casually plucked some strings, then finally had a flash of inspiration and began to play. “I’m sure you know this one, I saw this album in your collection” “Great! Have you searched my bedroom too?!” she hysterically asked him, but he ignored her. “C’mon, be ready! Your turn is finally coming!” the guy played the last introductory chords and Sara finally began to sing, her eyes still rolling. “Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly… All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…” Eddie smiled to himself and the two kept on performing the song; at a certain point he slowed down the fingerpicking and started to whistle, imitating the birds chirping, while the girl looked at him in a perplexed way – but then burst into laughter. “The hell are you doin’???” “C’mon, try it – be a blackbird too!” he suggested her, still laughing, and when she emulated him he smiled satisfied “See? That was easy” “… idiot” the girl laughed again, and resumed to sing the final lines: “You were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise, you were only waiting for this moment to arise…” Eddie finished to play, then smiled at her. “Well, you did learn to fly… Congratulations on your voice” “You’re just a flatterer, but thanks” she blushed, then cleared her throat “Instead, congratulations on your guitar style! You don’t limit yourself in strummin’ away on it… you play it, Ed” “Nope, I’m not that good” “Have you ever considered the possibility of playin’ in the band? Like, for real” “In the band? A band with three guitars?” “Yeah, why not? Kind of a Lynyrd Skynyrd thing, ya know” “Well, I’m just the new guy – I don’t know if Mike and Stone would agree…” he shrugged “Plus, as I said before, I can’t seriously play it” “Hmmm, as you wish… But, in your shoes, I’d give it a try” “Who knows, maybe in the future? Like ten years from now, just gimme enough time to practice…” “Why, are you really believin’ that you guys are goin’ to last that long?!” she provoked him, and the guy laughed. “No, you’re right – but, in the meantime, I’d be really glad to make at least a duet with you at the karaoke” “No fuckin’ way, I’ll never set foot again on that goddamn place, sure as hell!” “Ok, as you wish… but, sooner or later, you will sing somethin’ with me” he pondered “Like a collaboration… I should seriously write somethin’ for two voices” “Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Vedder! This is a secret, I told ya once and I won’t tell you again: keep your mouth shut or there’ll be big troubles!” Eddie pretended to go along with her wishes and gave her a mischievous smile – then his gaze fell on something that was peeking from the pocket of her sweatshirt. “What’s that?” “Oh” the girl suddenly remembered its existence and pulled it out “Just a mixtape I was listening to before” “Can I?” he extended a hand and she gave it to him “Footprints like puddles – strange choice for a title… I like it” “It’s-err… It’s just a silly title, I wrote down random words” “It seems well put together to me…” Ed fumbled with its case and finally pulled out the tracklist. “It’s just a couple of songs for the days when I get the mean reds, nothing serious” “The… the mean reds?” he hadn’t even started to read through the track titles but stopped immediately “What’s that?” “Well… ever watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” the guy nodded and she went on “When Audrey Hepburn gets ‘em, she jumps in a cab and goes to Tiffany’s – and it calms her down, just like that” “Ok, now I get it – this right here is your personal Tiffany’s, right?” “It is” “Then it’s better if I don’t intrude” he quickly opened again the case and started to put away the tracklist, but her hand stopped him. “… Go on, I think you could appreciate it” He looked at her, a bit puzzled: “You sure?” “Yep – go on” The guy smiled and finally began to read it. “Let’s see… we’ve got Leonard Cohen – woah, Ella Fitzgerald! – Brian Eno and Tom Waits… you put The Boss too, awesome” “Yeah, Racing In The Street reminds me of the way I feel when I choose not to open my umbrella on rainy days” “I think he’d be honored to know it… well, you should totally lend this to me, there are a couple of songs in here that I don’t know and I’d like to hear ‘em” he stopped, scratching his nape a bit embarrassed “… of course, only if you feel ok with that” “Yeah – err, yeah, that’s fine… I don’t mind” “Great, thanks” “You’ll tell me what you think about it, ‘kay? And I also wanna know if you appreciated the ones you hadn’t heard before my magic tape came to your rescue” “… you just got yourself a deal” “That’s what I like to hear” Sara looked around, her gaze stopping on the surfboard in a corner, the big waves painted on some walls, the books and vinyls piled on the desk and shelves – a few were also scattered on the floor; she found out that the room really reflected Eddie’s soul – at least, for the little bits she knew about him. The girl also found herself really missing her old chamber, the one that was waiting for her in that godawful mess of her loft, with most of all her belongings stocked there and the furniture apparently put in a random way – when in reality it had been carefully arranged by her. Out of the corner of his eye Eddie clearly saw her sigh, so he quickly tried to introduce a new topic in order to offer her a little distraction. “Say… can you play some instrument?” Sara startled, a confused expression upon her face. “Who? Me?” the guy nodded and she went on “Nope – when I was a child I used to play the harmonica from time to time, but it was nothin’ serious” “Oh, I see – and you got a favorite instrument? One that you really enjoy listenin’ to, and maybe you’d also like to learn how to play?” “HA! Lemme surprise you: banjo, mandolin, kazoo – ya know, all those weird things” she listed, all proud  “Oh, and I love bass too… but don’t tell Ament, pretty please!” “Ahahaha, ok! Pinky swear” he laughed, then they entwined their little fingers and the deal was made “But yeah, really unusual choices… I was expecting something entirely different” “Like what?” “Like… I dunno – violin? Piano? Maybe the harp too… You strike me as someone who would enjoy these instruments a lot” “… I strike you as someone this ordinary? Wow, Ed – you really have a way with words” “Shit, I-I didn’t mean that, I just-” “Relax, I was just teasing you!” Sara let out a carefree laugh “I know that on the outside I may give this impression… and let’s not talk about this squeaky, little voice of mine – it’s obvious that you’d link it to a violin instead of a kazoo” The guy laughed and gave her a playful push, then resumed his observations: “See? That’s why a collaboration of the two of us would be so interesting – and stop it, your voice isn’t squeaky” “You’re the one who has to stop it, Ed! Erase this crazy idea of yours right now or-” “Or what? You’re gonna kick my ass? Punch my cute face with those small, childish hands? I don’t think so, Fancini” “VEDDER, YOU’RE SO GOING DOWN” she roared and threw a cushion at him that perfectly landed on his face. “Ouch! How can such a little person be this evil???” he grabbed another pillow and did the same with her. “You’re one to talk! Beware the mighty Big Foot!” “See?! Well, I’m going to expose you in my next song, which is gonna be this caustic piece about how one should never trust Italian girls with big, brown eyes because in reality they’re Satan’s daughters – and, the good news? I’m so gonna force you to sing some lines, the ones with the nastiest insults” he laughed again, avoiding a cushion “I can’t wait to hear your angelic voice singin’ something along the lines of ‘you’re a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride’…” “Angelic my ass! Stop talking about me singin’, nobody has to fuckin’ know it!” Sara gave him a strong push that made him fell legs in the air, her irascibility growing as she heard him guffaw without restraint. “Ok, ok, nobody will ever know this thing! I swear!” he shouted breathlessly among his laughter. “… nobody will ever know what?” were the words that came out from Layla’s mouth, as she suddenly peeped out from the door.

#Eddie Vedder #Jeff Ament #Pearl Jam #Eddie Vedder fanfiction #Pearl Jam fanfiction #grunge fanfiction #Jeff Ament fanfiction #Birds of a Feather #chapters

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So earlier I was talking to Jeff.

So he made a personal bet to only Corrina. So he pledged promised $9M only If she lost.

But i corrected him and said If she won. So he did both.

Because he didn't want her to feel like a loser. That is why he promised he would pay her $9M If she lost.

So i said pay her $2M If she wins. Because you love her and yoh always want to be together.

Well Corrina took reins on them antlers of that boy!!

Then called the girls in from the kitchen and outside "Girls come here. Go get your boys and make them pay I love you bets if you win or lose or both whichever you choose and come see here What i do so i always win! Remember the boys gotta pay out! Money! Money! Money! Hey and she played us that song by Eddie Money so you know what to do!"

And that girl head swirled like no one's business. And i thought to myself. She is so in love with her soulmate. What would we do without her in this little world we own? She's gonna make heads roll someday. Big. I'm gonna play her a song in a little while to thank her and it will probably make her cry.

It did and now how i thought. "My God i was so stressed! IDK how you do this all day every day!! I need a hug! From every one! You first!!"

After she hugged the room and told them how good they did.

She smiled and said "I know now. I see how you do it. Its us!!" She sat down at her desk and sighed happily.

I just stared at her tears brimming and she said "what?" Realized the whole class was staring at her amazed and in awe. "What?"

"You said you were going to play the teacher today and we thought you meant boss us around and do all that stuff you usually do"

"I leaarrrrned!!!" She was amazing!!! She was so proud "I'm thrilled! I can finally do it! I made the perfect balance in my mind and I owe it all to Eddie Money!!"

"Oh of course Eddie Money. But i want to tell you something. The whole class." I stopped smiling because i knew what Antron Brown knew and he was going to say. He already talked to me about it and asked me not to because I looked like a hypocrite "oh stop looking So misery and sit down. Your back is going to start hurting. I noticed This with Ben when the alien was visiting. Ben was at the board and he dropped the chalk and went like this and he was crying how many people noticed this? When he did this?" Kids raised their hands. "You see that? All! So next time you wanna cry don't stand next to the tallest person of all! Try standing next to someone shorter!"

This kid!!!! All i could think was nothing. O.O

"Yeah like me!" Alex popped out of the kitchen like super happy.

-.- really.

"No, now really how many kids aside Antron Brown knew she cried that way or that she cries at all?"

None. No kid raised their hands.

"But Antron figured it out when he saw Ben drop the chalk. And you kept drying your tears and looking all fresh like you never cried at all. Then that was when he realized when you go hide behind snoop or look down at the ground and he sees droplets fall from your face. Its not rain or spit or tiny hair or alien fungus juice. Its your tears. And why do you cry? Do you even know? Its these kids. They are what keep you alive. But you hide it so much from yourself, from me and from them that they didn't even know it. It took you almost being poisoned to death for them to even realize it. Because you hide. Just like i hid my drug addiction. So while you were in the back of the class asleep. I told all your secrets. For two weeks i taught this class by myself mostly and I didn't know what to do. So I did what i do best. Talk about you. The first thing they wanted to know is "why is she asleep?" Remember I asked you and you said tell them anything they wanted to know except for about your panties and may be your bra and what you looked like naked? You nod. You see that class. But barely. She smile. That means note of approval. So i said I'll just tell you "mmmm mm good. Now i got to back to teaching the class. I love you" and i sprayed your throat and you said it didn't make it feel better But made it feel like that cancer stuff all over again? Now why didn't you nod and shake your head no?"

"I didn't like it"

"Did you hear that class? That's how she talks at home. So low no one can barely hear her. But i can. Oh i can! So why was she here sleeping in class instead of at home If she wasn't here?"

A Jasmine said she didn't like it and made her scared because I slept too quiet and didn't snore A lot. And when i moved she thought i fell out of bed.

"And so i moved her didn't I? Where did i move her to?"

"By me. But i didn't like it I thought she looked dead. So you told me to lay down with her and i could feel her breathing and i felt better" she started talking in a cryish whine and ended in a smile and a nod.

He had moved me by each child for 20 minutes So they could see me or lay down with me. To feel me breathe. Because they all needed hugs from me. And I was too sick. So after that he got a stethoscope. And then he had Snoop check it and show the kids. When you see the tallest black person of all come down at you and you're in the floor that's fucking scary. It was getting lunch time so my body was tuned to eat and was waking me up. So I jumped up "no! Snoop I'm alright!! Am i dead??"

All the children gasped. Alex laughed.

"What the Hell is going on?!"

Snoop couldn't handle it. He started laughing.

I started rubbing myself all over and smelling,my hands. "What the Hell is going on? Why is every one staring at me? Why am I in the floor?"

The kids lost it. They were all laughing.

"Well i guess Princess Sleeping Beauty woke up"

After that he had me laid out in the front of the class room and he would slide me up and down the chalkboard width.

I would open my eyes a little and see him or hear him and go back to sleep because he would tell me "baby I'm moving you just a little"

And the kids would laugh because he called me baby. I slept for 9 class days. After i got better i could sit up part of the day and he would drag 3 kids on the mat back and forth. They all took turns. "The mini roller coaster" Tabitha called it

I would sleep at home. In the car. I was basically in a coma. And Alex was the only one that took care of me. Unless he asked Snoop for help. Which was about 5 - 10 hours a week. To do laundry and chores.

So I explained to the class that day...

"I stand near the tallest person of all to cry because hes like a light pole and he can find Alex over the sea of all those taller than me heads and call or whistle a secret whistle so Alex can come find me and take care of what I need"

All the kids blushed.

"Here let me draw you a picture. See here's Snoop. And here's tiny me. And all these people. How? I can't see above all these heads but Snoop can. Plus i ask Snoop for advice. He's my best friend. And so is his wife. Just like you all have friends here. I have friends, Too. Snoop saved my life a couple of years ago from some aliens that killed my baby. Just like Tabitha she's my child. Well i had another one. A baby boy and he was murdered. And Snoopy came and he helped me. Saved my life. And he died. Like I have been sleeping here all around this class. He did, too. But in a hospital. And I went everyday and took him candy. My dad and i and some friends. We put them all in his lap because he wouldn't wake up. So i said what if he woke up in a bath of candy? Wouldn't that be fun? And he did."

The kids all went from shock, surprise, tears, to smiling.

"So he's my best friend"

Alex faced the chalk board shoulders shaking

"Now look. Guess who is crying. That one there. The junkie."

So that's how the bet got rolling. Over tears.

There's more over crying. How many times we all cried from that time I called him a junkie to this last time.

I won. Over 100 times was my guess. No one else came close.

I am owed 1000 hugs and kisses from each better.

Check your DNA4U. Alex raised my bet. So did some of you.

NHRA RULES

[metalpiratequeen]

Godformers Chat

Metalpiratequeen

Currently writing up a whole bunch of "meet the godformer" memes. Just got to Lazarette and I'm not sure whether to go with mermaid persona

http://orig04.deviantart.net/b071/f/2012/190/2/7/sea_goddess_by_james_face-d56lstq.png

Entirely made out of water

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/vsbattles/images/5/5b/Digital_Booklet_-_God_of_War_Blood_7.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160409005113

or giant ass woman

http://www.gameartisans.org/user_uploads/challenges/multiforum/fest-challenges/shawn-zm-142173-fest-challenges-main-image-1377822739.jpg

Deceitfulcharmer

they're all so pretty and perfect ;-;

Vxtum

OMGG SDJKFJKDSFHJKI agree with Katie. ;-; They all look good!

Calypso reminding me of Eris from Sinbad

Deceitfulcharmer

Part of me is a little tempted to take part, but I also know that I wouldn't do anything with it so there's no point asdfghjk

Metalpiratequeen

gently nudges gives us the war/liberator god and blue sky goddess

Vxtum

Could always do what I'm doing? I just made it its separate verse for anytime

Deceitfulcharmer

stop tempting meeeee

that could also work ;-;

Metalpiratequeen

I'm making them seperate verses because I want to keep these going.

Deceitfulcharmer

maybe I'll doodle a couple things when I get home uwu

Vxtum

sdkjhsdfhjk oh god ;-;

-excited for both-

Deceitfulcharmer

I've been practicing muscular males lately so Megatron can be one of my guinea pigs xD

Vxtum

Muscled warlord u-u good, good stuff

Rustedservos

yeah im probs gonna make this a seperate verse also cause i love god formers

Metalpiratequeen

Sweet. Has everyone made a godformer then?

Swordintehswarm

shake head no

Vxtum

Julius says he might make Tetta into a tiny fairy that accompanies Gravitas. (We otherwise are abstaining from Cyclonus, Galvatron, and Scourge having godforms. For Cyclonus, he already has two 'god' verses, and he's from a god in our targetmaster verse. I'm pretty much maxed out with Cyclonus and his herald-self xD)

Metalpiratequeen

Cyclonus-deity whore

But tiny fairy Tetta sounds so cute ;3;

Vxtum

-grins-

Metalpiratequeen

Or an imp. Lazarette sees her as a mischievous I'mp. :p

Swordintheswarm

Fae folk are not nice8'D

Fae folk kill people for fun, no need for imps

Deceitfulcharmer

Grimmjow muse was also very interested in Gravitas' godformers bio, btw uwu

Vxtum

I've no idea if she's a killer. I just know that she puts new flowers in his hair and sleeps in some of the larger blooms strung up on his antlers. She might be nice to him, but for all I know, she could absolutely be this evil thing to everyone else.

omg, was he?? -grins- Come give him a bowl of berries at one of his shrines/alters, and he'll come out to associate with you~

Swordintheswarm

Tetta using Gravitas's antlers to nestle sounds adorable asf

Vxtum

He's a greedy fuck. You leave him an offering, he's there

Swordintheswarm

But I am too cautious about actual medieval fairies to try to approach if it were rl xD

Deceitfulcharmer

when you start thinking of your OC in godformers AU but end up accidentally dragging another two of your OCs into it alongside her ;-;

I started with goddess of wind and rain and now I've ended up with god of thunder and goddess of lightning too

Swordintheswarm

Loool, ikr

MetalPirateQueen

Weather deities!

Deceitfulcharmer

be nice to them or they will flood your village, or start a fire. whatever they feel like

Swordintheswarm

I want to do godformer bug but I’m procrastinating

Vxtum

It took me, like, four days to complete the "meet the godformer" thing, so don't feel bad u-u

Metalpiratequeen

What does my Godformer wear? ....nothing

Vxtum

Instantly the most popular among their peers

Deceitfulcharmer

I'm thinking Electron's Godformer can't/doesn't ever touch the ground, instead hovering on a breeze

Vxtum

I haven't decided yet that when Gravitas takes human form, if he bothers 'magicking' clothes onto himself. He feels like the sort of uncivilized guy to walk around, naked and proud. "Your cultural's obsession with the need to hide the beauty of one's body is not welcome in my presence. I will not humour it."

omg, Katie

Metalpiratequeen

Maybe Electron is a breeze. Like a literal wind with a human outline.You could see a whirlwind inside her. Or a hurricane

Deceitfulcharmer

I was going to go for super flowy clothes but that sounds so beautiful too ;-;

Metalpiratequeen

(Also be warned. LS is a demigod going around demanding quests from gods, Hercules style, so she may obtain godhood and finally meet her father, the god of time. While Lazarette is a vengeful god who hates humans for occupying her domain and rarely ever joins in on deity affairs and politics. Haven't quite decided where the bros stand. Might make Oil Slick a satyr.

Deceitfulcharmer

Megatron sits around, counting down the days until the next war when he's suddenly needed again xD

Metalpiratequeen

God of war gets a lot if holidays xD

Deceitfulcharmer

I have two big questions: 1. How buff do I make him and 2. How much of it do I actually bother to cover with armour

Vxtum

Gravitas actually enjoys humans, preferring to be in the forest, watching them/helping them/revealing himself to them than hanging around the Ethereal Realm (Olympus/Heaven/whatever LOL)), so he pretty much skimps out on most festivities and politics. But fuck, LS. ;-; I love that take you did. It gives her such a good reason to interact with any god she comes across. Fuck, I can't wait to see, man xD

LOL, Katie. Conan arms!

Metalpiratequeen

Go the opposite route and give Megs as little armour as possible. Hell, how about an old collesium match where he battles butt naked!

Deceitfulcharmer

CHARL xD

Vxtum

lmao, I actually agree about the naked part. If you gotta go to war naked to startle the enemy, then more reason to!

Deceitfulcharmer

all these naked gods, how scandalous <3

Metalpiratequeen

They're gods. All they do is fight and have sex anyway.

Deceitfulcharmer

...you have a very good pointwhy not do both at once and save time?

Metalpiratequeen

(Normal verse: Gravitas and Lazarette have a ton of sex. Godformer au: Gravitas and Lazarette have a ton of sex. Only now with bestiality)

Vxtum

Horse cock

Well, not really. Maybe I should still give him his double-cock. Sounds like a god-thing. So fertile he's got two

Decetifulcharmer

yes, give him the double dick

Metalpiratequeen

Well, fish don't really have holes, so they're kinda at a crossroad here. Unless she can also have human legs.

OMG XD

Vxtum

lmao

Metalpiratequeen

My poor girl. Gravitas could only frack her valve as a robot, but now he can actually double penetrate her xD

Vxtum

"CHANGE TO YOUR HUMAN FORM!"

"NO, YOU CHANGE TO SOMETHING ELSE!"

"HOW CAN WE MATE IF WE'RE INCOMPATIBLE? I AM NOT DRY HUMPING YOU, WOMAN."

Metalpiratequeen

LMAO

Already married.

Swordintheswarm

Omfg xD

Vxtum

Everyone hears the argument and just rolls their eyes. Another day as all-powerful gods; another fight between two vastly proud deities, refusing to change form for the other as they try to figure out a solution to have sex

Deceitfulcharmer

-Megatron sits and waits for it to turn into a war-

Vxtum

lmao

So he can come charging it, naked and swords drawn (not just two in this case)

Deceitfulcharmer

His third sword, this time

Vxtum

-pictures Gravitas, mad at Lazarette, exiting a forest to the beach line, and just stomps his hooves and splashes and kicks at the water, knowing it's her domain-

Tailblinking

"Fish pee in you- all day! So... hmph"

Thanks Moana

Vxtum

Ahah!

http://drxgonfly.tumblr.com/post/158552991127/90377-early-rays-by-thomas

- for God!Gravitas

Deceitfulcharmer

Electron is friends with all birds, but her animal form would be a peregrine falcon <3

Aaaahh beautiful forest ;v;

Vxtum

that's awesomeI can even see her in the design of that bird (had to google that xD)

Metalpiratequeen

Beautiful sky goddess ;_;

LS is gonna pester her for a quest. (Or at the very least a free ride)

Deceitfulcharmer

It's an unintentional likeness but I run with it xD

please do <3

Swordintheswarm

Welp now I wanna godformer too

Metalpiratequeen

(Lazarette brings s tidal wave down on Gravitas)

Good!Please join us!

Swordintheswarm

Oh my god 8'D

What do I have to do, I mean I’m not really gonna do anything with it for the event but maybe to keep it as au

Unifyingspark

Clearcut should be the god/protector of orphaned or abandoned kids. Since he has that in his history, poor baby

Swordintheswarm

He's more of a knight than insect, so maybe god of honor instead. God of honor AND insects maybe xD

True LOL

Unifyingspark

honor would do, he is all about the honor

Swordintheswarm

He should take after traits of herbivore insects that fight each other for mates

Aka rhino and stag beetles, and earwigs. Maybe something else

In any case bugs known to 'duel for honor' :'D

Unifyingspark

*huge grin

Vxtum

// lmao.. Lazarette. Coughing, sputtering stagtaur, hair all over his face as he curses her name(edited)

Swordintheswarm

Lol, just this huge rhino beetle with earwig cerci, gilded in gold and jewels. Maybe give him a humanoid face but otherwise he's just a massive damn beetle pursuing evildoers....kind of like khepri from smite, actually

Unifyingspark

sounds gorgeous

Deceitfulcharmer

-gets home in an hour- -really wants to draw her godformers- ;-;

Swordintheswarm

https://images.discordapp.net/.eJwVw1EOwiAMANC7cAAqBTvYAfxXT0AYYTObJbT7Mt7d-JL3MefYzWxW1S4zwLJJ4bFYUR65VduY215z38QWPiCr5rIe9a0C6Mml6K8YIhGhCwEw4XT592miEBMS4P10j-fNvnoz3x__GiHw.5lbRwsqv-Aa3GwbsbG8upq2O3HM?width=728&height=456

Just add browns to that and earwig cerci, and pretty close

Vxtum

I love how the gods could so easily be interconnected and know one another (or know about one another)? CC and his insects in Gravitas' forests; the forest lining against Lazarette's oceans; Electron the air they breathe, the wind that carries in the rain from Lazaratte's seas to Gravitas' forests, to give nourishment for the insects (both as water and healthy foliage to eat) CC's insects are what keep the ecosystem of the forests thriving and healthy

Deceitfulcharmer

They also feed Electron's bird friends <3

Metalpiratequeen

Everything is connected. Hence why most gods are related. It would be nice that each one keeps an eye on the other. Like Electron flying over Lazarette’s domain, keeping watch. Or communicating which each domain’s animals just to hear what is going on

Vxtum

-grins- Always getting into disputes with one another, too. Domain rivalries

Unifyingspark

*throws tiny fairy Tettares around Gravitas' antlersthere's my contribution

Metalpiratequeen

“Your ocean is submerging my land!”

“Well, the ice is stealing my water!”

“Well, the ice is killing my insects!”

Deceitfulcharmer

Omg yes, if she flooded the forest or her trine mate set fire to it with her lightning ;-;

Swordintheswarm

Omg yes. Theres so much capacity for interaction and strife

Vxtum

oh my god, I'm sure CC and Gravitas would be so angry if a forest caught fire 'cause of a lightening strike.

Swordintheswarm

THEY WOULD

Vxtum

And then they'd be snarling at Electron, "IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD BROUGHT MORE RAIN FROM THE SEAS" Then they're off courting their Champions to then go to war and 'win' against the champions of the Electron and her trine mates. That's how they ultimately settle disputes. Bringing in mortals'cause they're immortal so nothing gets settled. In comes LS

Deceitfulcharmer

Megatron rubbing his hands in the distance. Yes good, he's been waiting for a good war

Vxtum

Oh man, that would awesome. When they all fucked up when they wake up the God of War

Metalpiratequeen

I'm pretty sure all Olympus meetings are just awkward family reunions where the father and mother god tell their kids to grow up...and as an opportunity to show off their new Demi-god offspring. "Look it's a nominator!” “Well, mine’s a Cyclops.” “Mine are daemon.” “Mines a kraken.”

Deceitfulcharmer

Gives help to whoever gives him the best offerings

Metalpiratequeen

(Now I can't stop imagining LS wielding a giant axe and running into batlle. "I will vanquish the evil naked war god and finally shed my human shell!!!”

Unifyingspark

Galvatron is proud. *hands her his axe* "You can borrow this for now but give it back or Cyclonus will be cross."// or cyclonus will gives me sucha frown

Metalpiratequeen

gladly accepts the battle axe..and instantly collapses under its weight.

Cyclonus of Tetrahex-Today at 5:47 PM

// Make me think of the comment I made a while back, now that it's so relevant to all this god stuff; Galvatron a war god, Scourge and Cyclonus his Valkyries

lmao Charl

This fantastic demigod everyone wants her as their champion. They see that fire in her

Unifyingspark

Galvatron winces and picks her up, "There, there, you will endure."

Metalpiratequeen

Meanwhile Maccadam, her deadbeat dad is seeing every possible future and drinking himself plastered. "Daughter. Please, stop."

Vxtum

I think Gravitas' trial to become his champion ultimate leads to them to hunt /him/; 'cause I wanted that in his bio. That he welcomes the bravest hunter coming to take his antlers as the trophy

Metalpiratequeen

*Intrigued mortal noises.*

No sweetie. No. There are easier trials.

Vxtum

lmaoI haven't decided if he would use his magic or not (like those who cheat often in the greek lore, making the trials /so/ much harder). I like to think he would put away his signalling horn and broadsword. He /makes/ himself the prey. But he keeps his dagger

Metalpiratequeen

LS gets her offering list out. "Alright then. Skinned fur from a successful hunt? Check. Vanilla scented candles. Check. Bowl or berries mixed with chunks of red meat from successful hunt? Check. Night if untamed passion and dominance?...where's auntie Lazarette when you need her?"

Vxtum

LMAO I can already hear her balking at the request. Not wanting to lie down with a flea-bitten, dirty man-deer

Metalpiratequeen

Well, not twice in one week. XD

Vxtum

LOLOH GOD, LOL

-tries to shut him up- He's just smirking and crossing his arms, a hoof pawing idly at the ground. "Back for more already?"

Metalpiratequeen

*throws a squid at him*

Vxtum

lmao

Metalpiratequeen

She loves him really.

Vxtum

-grins- That feeling is absolutely mutual

Metalpiratequeen

Oil Slick is gonna be a god of decay. :3 wearing his goat skull and cloaks. A satyr, and loving all things that rot and grow fungus.

Vxtum

Holy shit. All of the fantastic aestheticism I can already picture ;-; He's easily going to be the prettiest god to me

Unifyingspark

I was just gonna say, well Oil Slick hits all my spots, so I'm sold

Metalpiratequeen

Normal verse Oil Slick would greatly disapprove of his nonchalant to hygiene. His flower symbol is a mushroom (and he also might delve in hallucinations and acid trips xD) He's gonna love a potential war. So many bodies dropping to the floor. So much disease and death

Vxtum

http://babyanimalgifs.tumblr.com/post/158131529309/his-first-attempt-at-howling

If he enjoys everything decay, maybe one of his offerings could be the Corpse Flower xDLure that god down with the beautiful smell of nasty(edited)

Unifyingspark

Pup reminds me of baby Gravitasalso when I look at that puppy I think "cute" and then I think "pain in my ass"

Vxtum

LOL.. when he tries to roar for the first time in his beastmode?

Unifyingspark

he prolly has a lot of vocalizations though I believe his twin wins out on that. voidmonster who somehow is translated into fairy god.

Vxtum

-grins-His little fairy sister ;-;

Unifyingspark

God of nagging

Vxtum

LOLGravitas scowling and waving his hand at her, like she's a fly when she's nagging him

Metalpiratequeen

"Hey, listen. Hey, listen. Hey, listen."

Vxtum

lmao

Unifyingspark

Tiny glowing ball trying to talk to Lazarette, fish jumps out of water and eats her thinking she's a glowbug. Gravitas standing on the shore, all color leaves his face, "GAH!"

Vxtum

OH godGravitas, eyes wide, galloping frantically into the water. "Veritas!"

Explodes on Lazarette when he manages to capture the fish and free her; cuddling her close as he barks, "CONTROL YOUR BLOODTHIRSTY FAUNA!"

Unifyingspark

"Where does she live?" 

"On my head, pretty much."

Metalpiratequeen

Currently on the other side of the world, Lazarette projects a watery image of her head rising out from the ocean, "Get off my lawn."

Vxtum

LMAO

Unifyingspark

God she seriously could live on his head, he could hang a small lantern-style object from an antler like jewerly, when he has to do anything serious, takes her tiny house from him and hangs it on a tree, comes back for her later.

Vxtum

.. omgThat's perfect!

Unifyingspark

she's pretty much the forest gossip queen, collects all the dirt and going-ons, then brings all the chatter back to him

Swordintheswarm

Oh my god

Vxtum

He already has all kinds of other things thrown across his antlers. That would be /perfect/ ;-;"Who is talking shit about me today, sister? Whose people shall I starve today as punishment?"

Unifyingspark

xD I love it

Swordintheswarm

has a mental image of somebody putting festive flags or christmas tree-esque ornaments all over his antlers. There is even a star over his skull. Bloody murder is screamed. It's a bad time to be a mortal in the forest.

Vxtum

LMAO

that would be hilarious

Entire nearby village endures the god's wrath

#[Chat] #[long post] #I finally found this! #au: godformers #I know it doesn't look like it #but an attempt was made to shorten this post! #deceitfulcharmer #vxtum #unifyingspark #swordintheswarm #oh god I wanna bring this back #;-;

[morechunesforyourheadtop]

Top 10 Albums of 2017

Not even halfway through 2017, and it seems like most major music based websites are pumping out their lists of what they choose to be the best music of the year. I’ve never understood the rush to get these released so quickly, but never one to not ride the wave, here are my top 10 albums of 2017 so far.

10.  Gharly Bliss - Guppy

With only one song lasting longer than 3:30 and the entire album being under 30 minutes, guppy makes full use of it’s short run. Hailing from New York, New York, Gharly Bliss is cut from the same grain that the best sugar-coated indie rock groups were in the mid 90′s; like a sunflower on a penthouse windowsill, lead singer Eva Hendricks’ voice rides the tightrope of being sickly sweet and not having the panache necessary to front a band this sunny. Throwing this on in the background makes for a lighthearted short listen that would best be enjoyed beach/pool-side, but on a deeper listen the lyrics aren’t what would be expected on a first take; this album is filled with moments of shocking clarity, a sentence or three takes the listener to a crystal clear moment in time. For example, Eva in “Ruby”, describing both her love life and her fainting issues.

 Guardrail, taking the stairs                                                                    Passed out on the subway with blood in my hair                                            I guess I need a ride                                                                                    I’ll check with my boyfriend and see if it’s fine

On standout track “Percolator”, we dive into the mindset that is becoming more and more of the defining characteristic of Generations Y and Z, and the same reasons that has made Lil Uzi Vert’s “Xo Tour Llif3″ a top 10 Billboard hit: the outward depressive nature that can’t be accurately pinned as completely true or extremely exaggerated. 

Well, I think I’m still breathing While my parents are sleeping I am sick, but I’m speaking My boyfriend is freaking My conscious is fucked and my judgment is leaking and I’m gonna die in a getaway car I haven’t tried, but it sounds too hard

This album can be as deep and meaningful or as lighthearted and summery as the listener can want/handle. Depressive, romantic, and beaten down, all wrapped up in a sparkling box with a glittery bow. The debut album from Charly Bliss is a fantastic one, and one of the best of 2017. 

9. Sampha - Process

The first time I heard Sampha’s voice on SBTRKT’s self-titled album. Always a fan of Future Garage, I was just settling in to this album when the second song, “Hold On”, started playing. The Mbira started, and Sampha arrived to the party along with a kick drum. Hearing him talk about a woman ashamed of the affair she’s having with him was ethereal, and had to be replayed as soon as it ended. 

With a voice of an angel and a great choice in his lyrics, I went on an internet trip looking for everything he has gotten his hands on. He has been featured on electronic and hip-hop songs, but after years of waiting, his first album finally released. 

Process is a very melancholic project, dealing with the death of his parents (His father passed when he was ten, his mother less than two years ago) just as much as his own fears and insecurities (finding a lump in his throat with no known cause). The scared, alone, confused feeling in this project is one that many, if not all, of listeners can empathize with.

In just four lines, we hear a verse, just four lines, that showcase a cornucopia of feelings about his mother’s passing 

An angel by her side, all of the times I knew we couldn’t cope They said that it’s her time, no tears in sight, I kept the feelings close And you took hold of me and never, never, never let me go ‘Cause no one knows me like the piano in my mother’s home

In closing song “What Shouldn’t I Be”, Sampha is divided on what he is and what is wanted of him, by his family and by himself:

Family ties Put them 'round my neck I’m walkin’ 'round high A ghost by my side Challenges come 

There are feelings of guilt, distrust, confusion, loneliness, and many others on this album. In 40 minutes, we are given a look into Sampha’s personal diary, and get the feeling like the surface is just being scratched.

8. Slowdive - Slowdive

22 years since Pygmalion released, Slowdive return with a new, self-titled album. It would’ve been easy to go the same route that earned them critical success and fame with another shoegaze album, but slowdive is much more inline with Beach House and Cocteau Twins than it is My Bloody Valentine. Don’t misunderstand; this is not a slight in the slightest. This is a fantastic dream pop album, with breathy vocals and fantastic guitar work. 

The instrumentation on this album is fantastic, with each new listen unwrapping a new part of a song that went unnoticed on the last run-through. On the opener, the guitar riff is just seven notes, but the sixth goes up an entire octave, giving the song a completely different feeling than it would be without it, just in one note. 

Perhaps the biggest sign of change is the last song on the album, “Falling Ashes”. One of the slowest, quietest songs in Slowdive’s arsenal, most of the 8 minutes is vocal-less, consisting of a piano in the forefront with a guitar barely audible in the background. Depending on a person’s viewpoint, it’s either a great end to an album that sends the band looking forwards, or a boring, end to a disappointing album. Slowdive doesn’t care which is the choice; after 22 years, they know exactly what they’re doing, and it’s working. 

7. Laura Marling - Semper Femina

Semper Femina is unabashedly feminine-the title is Latin for “always a woman”- and there isn’t a male pronoun in sight, the only men being discussed in length are various fathers. This isn’t a one noted album because of it, however. Each song seems like a little personal story, some wrapped up more than others, each a window into a personal moment; a prime example is the end of “Always This Way”, where Laura has lost a close one, and has nothing to show for it.

Now she’s gone and I’m all alone And she will not be replaced Stare at the phone, try to carry on But I have made my mistake At the end of the day At least I can say I made my own way And my debts have been paid

At the end of Nouel, we see Marling tying the project’s name into a reoccurring situation in this album: loss and confusion

I do well to serve Nouel My only guiding star Fickle and changeable Semper femina

The instrumentation in this album are very simple and tame, consisting mostly of finger-picked folk guitar, violins and plucked double bass, contributing to the peaceful folk ambiance she has created. This album is the soothing and relaxing while being thoughtful at the same time, and Laura Marling hasn’t done better than this. 

6. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me

Let’s be blunt here; this is one of the most devastating albums in recent years. Phil Elverum, who records on his own under the moniker Mount Eerie, unwraps his feelings in a somber way that is on the same level as Sufjan Steven’s Carrie and Lowell and The Antler’s Hospice. His wife, Geneviève, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a disease that kills 80% of patients within a year. She died three months after her 35th, 1 ½ years after the birth of their daughter. 

In the first 2 minutes, in the opening song “Real Death”, Elverum brings the reader to tears with a crushingly photo-realistic moment of realization of loss

Crusted with tears, catatonic and raw I go downstairs and outside and you still get mail A week after you died a package with your name on it came And inside was a gift for our daughter you had ordered in secret And collapsed there on the front steps I wailed A backpack for when she goes to school a couple years from now You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known deep down would not include you Though you clawed at the cliff you were sliding down Being swallowed into a silence that is bottomless and real

There is very little instrumental work in this album. Each breath, each strum of the guitar; this is just as much therapy and release for Phil as it is music for the listener. 

In “Swims”, the anguish of the loss turns into fear of the unknown and loss in general, talking to his daughter:

We are all always so close to not existing at all Except in the confusion of our survived-bys grasping at the echoes Today our daughter asked me if mama swims I told her, “Yes, she does And that’s probably all she does Now.” What was you is now borne across waves Evaporating

This album is very, very tough to go through on the first listen without stopping. I definitely cried listening to this. It’s an experience, but an experience that’s as beautiful as it is crushing.

5. Jens Lekman - Life Will See You Now

Before getting into the depth of this write-up, I have to get something off my chest: this has to be the worst album art for an album I’ve loved in, well, probably ever.

Hopefully the artwork doesn’t turn you off of giving this a chance, because underneath this terrible interesting artwork is an album bursting with diverse instrumentals and dense lyrics. This album brings to mind a less wild Sufjan Stevens, but is still a clear standout from the indie pop crowd. The way Jens is able to turn his voice into this warbling, dynamic device takes songs from picturesque to cinema-quality. The most remarkable part of this album is that it knows exactly when to bring something new into a song when it is needed most. For example, in “What’s That Perfume You Wear”,

Got a miniature shampoo bottle on my shelf From when we stayed at a hotel And one whiff of that and I’m back there with her Coming out of the shower, she’s still in bed fixing her hair Says, “Let’s go somewhere” I can smell her sun lotion From the window the jasmine And the salt from the ocean

Lekman start speeding up, almost rapping for the first three lines, and right when he slows down a clapping background comes into play.

For such an upbeat, almost tropical sounding album, these lyrics can pack a punch, and will need to be unwrapped with multiple listens. In the beginning of the next song, “Our First Fight”, we hear a couple’s first fight:

We just had our first fight Unresolved, we head back out into the night Putting my face back on as we drive Not a word is spoken, not a blink of an eye And in my head my thoughts go nuts Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut Maybe our love was hanging by a thread Shouldn’t have showed you how I really felt

In eight lines, so much information is unveiled: an unresolved fight, the head-swimming feeling that so many of us have felt in a relationship, and an image of what’s to come next. Jens Lekman packs so much of this into a 41 minute project that it’s a bit overwhelming. There are topics of lost loves, confusion about expressing love between two male friends, and many more. Each listen brings something new to the party, and I haven’t felt any reason to turn this project off on each listen. This album is truly as good as it’s cover art is bad.

4. Perfume Genius - No Shape

Mike Hadreas’ new album starts off in an unexpected manner; the first sound we here is a simple piano. Those familiar with Mike’s work expect bigger, more flourishing backdrops, so this is a change. “Otherside” is a hymn at it’s core, and after this chorus

Rocking you to sleep From the Otherside

is when the album unfolds. An explosion of noise follows suit, and the listener is strapped in for the best album Hadreas has ever released.

On the last Perfume Genius album, Too Bright, sexuality and bodies were painted in a negative, decaying light, thrown into a basement of depression and fear. In No Shape, Mike’s sexuality is unabashed, beautiful and proud. The best example would be on “Slip Away”:

Don’t look back, I want to break free If you’ll never see 'em coming You’ll never have to hide Take my hand, take my everything If we only got a moment Give it to me now

This album is art-pop at it’s finest: instrumentation in the beginning of “Sides” compliments Mike discussing his Crohn’s disease in a very fast manner, a less graceful singer would stumble over their own tongue, but here it is effortless manner.

Burn off every trace I wanna hover with no shape I wanna feel the days go by Not stack up Running up that hill I’m gonna call out every name Until the one I’m meant to take Sends her dove

For every breathy vocal and emotion belted out on this album, the closer, “Alan”, dedicated to his lover Alan Wyffals, is otherworldly. An unusually low voice starts the song off, but the chorus of 

You need me Rest easy I’m here How weird 

showcases Mike’s jaw-dropping vocal talents; the light touch on “you need me” shifts the change from deep to high, and “how weird” has so much emotion, so much feeling in just two words that it’s a true tearjerker. 

Every album released under the Perfume Genius moniker seems to be unbeatable-until the next one releases. This project is simply a beautiful piece of work, and is seemingly un-toppable. Until Mike one-ups himself again, this audio masterpiece deserves to be listened to hundreds of times. 

3. The xx - I See You

The xx’s self titled album in 2009 was one of the biggest moments in music in recently history. The extremely minimalist instrumentals and breathy, barely-there vocals quickly launched The xx into stardom, critically receiving praise and becoming a commercial hit. Since then, the group released a follow-up project in 2012, Coexist, that wasn’t treated as well, mainly citing that there wasn’t enough risks taken, more a doubling down on what worked on the self titled album without the same highs.

During this time, the man responsible for the drum machine and samples Jamie Smith (better known as Jamie xx) was getting very well known for his solo work. First a reworking of spoken word artist Gil-Scott Heron’s I’m New Here, and in 2015 a solo debut titled In Colour, both received very well. His work is a sharp turn from The xx’s usual sound, filled with a cornucopia of different noises, be it old school drum ‘n’ bass to dancehall influences to even a Young Thug feature.

When The xx announced a new album and released the first single in early November of last year, it was clear what direction was taking: with Jamie xx layering flickering hummingbird drums with synths, they were pushing this album into their breakout star and letting him set the stage.

This isn’t to say the other two members, Romy Madley Croft (vocals, guitar), Oliver Sim (bass, vocals), were thrown to the side. The lyrics work seamlessly with the uplifted production; 

My name on your lips Your air in my lungs Drowned in oxygen Now you’ve set the scene High on intimacy Drawing me above

The way Romy is able to turn ‘lips’ into three breathy syllables works fantastically with the David Lang sample. 

Like “Our Song” off of Coexist, the final song on I See You, “Test Me” is also about the relationship Oliver and Romy have together. A gloomy, sparse, spacey production sets the stage for a bend-but-don’t-break conversation;

Just take it out on me It’s easier than saying what you mean Test me, see if I break Tell me this time you’ve changed I’ll take it out on you It’s easier than talking it through Test me, see if I stay How could I walk the other way?

After this second verse, the last two minutes on the album is reserved for Jamie: a warped sample with a looped drum play, with almost alien sounding vocals from Oliver coming in sporadically. The last song seems to almost sum up the past few years of this group: rough, almost shattering, but beautiful and always brutally honest and sincere. 

2. (sandy) Alex G - Rocket

The cover of (sandy) Alex G’s newest record Rocket, at a glance, is unassuming and relatively banal. A goat stands in a pasture with candy cane balloon letters hovering overhead. Much like (sandy) Alex G’s music, the quirks of this cover become more apparent the longer you inspect it. You first might notice the two sets of horns: one straight and pointy, traditionally expected from a standard goat. Another set menacingly furls behind like a ram, and points directly at the viewer. Next, your gaze drifts down to meet the goat’s eyes. They are misshapen, unlevel, and weird looking even by goat standards. Its ears are even misshapen and unsymmetrical. What is this all about? Why is a goat in the middle of a field, and what does it have to do with Rocket?

Every part of an album can be twisted and given different meanings, but my take on it is this: this album is probably the most collaborative Alex has released, which is represented in the odd goat above. Different backing vocals accompany the first handful of songs, giving this a different sound. Alex G has been known for a very lo-fi type of sound, but for most of this album that is not the case. This album takes a more folks-y turn compared to past efforts, and that works out fantastically. In the third verse of “Bobby”, guest singer Emily Yacina sings delicately while Alex takes the front, illustrating a sadness bleeding over into his art, over a simple guitar strum:

I paint pictures of my heart The colors blue and purple start To bleed into an endless dark It’s only you it’s only you

The best part of this album is the fact it isn’t possible to group the entirety of it in one box. “Brick” wouldn’t be out of place in a Sonic Youth album, a wall of noise rock crashing into the listener, with Alex screaming about being sick of the lies his friends tell him:

You think I don’t but I always fucking do Every time you tell me something untrue Puts a brick in the wall between me and you 

the song immediately after, “Sportstar”, an autotuned ballad in the same vein of Frank Ocean’s “Nikes”, who Alex G worked with on Ocean’s Blonde. This song is parallel to “Bobby”, in another song dealing with wanting someone desperately and not feeling reciprocated.

My dream Let me play on your team I’m clean Let me tie your Nikes Holding on for sport star Let me wear your jersey If you want to hurt me Hurt me

This album is all over the place, and normally most people don’t have the talent to make all of these puzzle pieces fit. (sandy) Alex G does it, and makes it seem effortless at the same time. 

1. Sorority Noise - You’re Not As _____ As You Think

Emo music is a very diverse genre; a lot of people are stuck in the mindet of Hot Topic bands, stereotypical ‘woe is me’ bands that don’t say anything of value, just that their life sucks. Being honest, Emo isn’t my favorite genre, a lot of it is too rough for my preference. This Sorority Noise album, however, is the perfect balance between heavy guitars and drums and somber, melancholy lyrics about deaths of close ones and the feelings that are a result of it.

Lead singer Cam Boucher has had two of his best friends pass away since the release of the last Sorority Noise album, 2014′s Joy, Departed, one to suicide and one to a heroin overdose. As such, this album takes an extreme jump, in lyrics and overall quality, compared to their sophomore project. The jump taken between that album and this one isn’t very different the one Brand New made a decade earlier between Deja Entendu and The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me: A band who had already began moving past the dreaded generic pop-punk threshold into a great band, and then decided to really crack open their brains and spill the contents onto the lyric booklet.

One of the most noticeable differences in Joy, Departed and YNA_AYT is the wording.  Lyrically, based on the friends that Cam has lost to suicide between their last big release, it feels like like Cam feels genuinely guilty for how candid he was about mental illness in their first two albums. It seems like he kind of feels like some of his past songs romanticize suicidal thoughts and he doesn’t want his music to carry that idea ever again. Sure, there are references to Cam’s personal experience with depression and anxiety, but they are usually followed up with “I’m going to be okay” or some self-help advice. Near the end of “Disappeared”, for example: 

I let my hair down today And I took a shower for the first time in what felt like weeks I felt my hair falling out And I felt myself falling down But that can’t seem to be the reason I can’t sleep when I’m alone It’s getting better And it’s hardly getting worse It’s hard to think about the things that make it all hurt

A more mature take on these topics make for a much better album. Life is always going to have bad moments, and I’ve never dealt with anything in the ballpark of this. Hearing these songs with the ever-so-slight moments of “it’s not going to be this terrible forever if I work on them” is a major part of the emo albums that I am crazy about. This album takes life’s worst moments and describes them in vivid detail without being over melancholic about them.

With that being said, that’s my top 10 albums of 2017 as of now. If there’s anything you’d suggest, I’d love to hear it. That goes for critiques as well. 

Much Love, Tyler Schweitzer.

#music #rankings #album of the year #reblog