#i find that if i try to write a pattern

[mephestopheles]

Hey crocheters, specifically newer pattern makers, but this goes for everyone. When creating a pattern, especially for the written portion, it is in your best interest to look up the terminology and shorthand used in most patterns. I understand that terminology is different in places (see UK vs US). However if you have to start your pattern off when an abbreviation list that looks absolutely like you just grabbed the alphabet and threw it at the screen, you will hear my screaming and cursing your name no matter where you live.

#i will find you and put walnuts in your shoes #and snip every third seam on all of your clothes #crochet #pattern writing #why does A mean decrease in this pattern #when DEC has been the accepted shorthand since the 50s #also its SC for single chain #and DC for double chain #and HDC for half doube crochet #NOT X #NOT F #NOT T #also also treble crochet exists in both Uk and US and mean two different things and T can probably be used as shorthand for a treble crochet #which means if someone sees T they will get the wrong impression #also W for three crochet in a single stitch? #either chart the fucking pattern or use the correct terminology #signed a very frustrated crocheter #I'm still trying to learn the differences between knitting terms ans crochet terms #i do not need a fucking rosetta stone for your made up bullshit #yes this not a problem #yes im still angry about it #eleven crochet patterns in one #and every single fucking one is like this #if this wss about saving space maybe i could understand #but it doesnt even save space each section is separated and each pattern uses this fucked up short hand #excuse me while I go FIX IT

[mokeonn]

I think a very upsetting feeling is having a dream that was complete nonsense, but there were crumbs of a story. Like your dream made you feel a specific way and those crumbs mixed with those feelings just seems like such a good story to tell...

But when you try to put those crumbs together, you not only lose what little story you had because so much time was making the story not pure brain nonsense, but you also lose that feeling in the process.

I just find nothing more frustrating than that to me. Wanting to share a story, but in the process of wanting to share it, you destroy it. Cursed to never be able to share that feeling you felt with anyone else.

#simon says #I find myself falling into this pattern a lot #where i try to make a story based off of a dream and how it felt #that i end up just writing something completely different #it's a very sad and frustrating feeling #also i hit the good dream stage of my sleep cycle which means im gonna be feeling this A LOT #which means I sleep more to continue the story and feel that feeling again

[smimon]

Don't talk to me today guys, there is only one thing I can think about and it's that damn hug from Häärijä

#just kidding please talk to me #it's one of those days again omg #i have never learned how to deal with positive experiences so i will just talk about it to get it out of the system so it's a vent post now #vent post #last warning! #i have never realized just how much i crave and yearn for a simple warm welcoming tight hug until after it happened #like what if i tell you the very reason i started writing giant ocs 20 years ago was because i was longing and yearning for a hug #yes there is a long and complicated thought pattern behind that but without a doubt one leads to another #my troubled mind constantly amazes me with its ability to find unnecessarily complicated ways to tell me what i need #and sometimes life just gives you just that sometimes you can just have good things like it's nothing #🤯 #it's been three weeks and i'm still there #häärijä fixed me without even trying #(and with häärijä i mean his real name ofc)

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

[andromedasummer]

HELL YEAH SISTERS GRADUATION DINNER IS BEING HELD IN THE SIDE OF TOWN I DONT USUALLY GO SO I GET TO VISIT THE LIKE 4 DIFF OP SHOPS THERE + THE BOOKSHOPS

#FUCK YESSS #i can try to find yarn/patterns/needles #AND #visit the anarchist bookstore (literally what its called) #i got the only copies of bell hooks writings ive ever seen/owned there

[theladyfae]

nothing to me will ever be more iconic than my beloved mutual managing to get me so invested in a (rarepair) ship for a media i had no previous interaction with that i was actively making my own headcanons abt their potential relationship dynamic and making song associations and engaging in others’ brainrot for months before i ever even considered getting in to said media. and now a year later i’m finally writing fic for them but still know next to nothing abt what they’re like in canon cause i still haven’t made it to that part of the story, the memories of the shared delusion are genuinely the only thing keeping me going.

#poppy if ur reading this ilysm ylne has been a constant over the past year (consistent in ruining my LIFE) #the most mundane things are them i was running a bath the other day and bam suddenly had an insane fic idea #was just putting my hair into a small plait rn and remembered the time i used that as insp for an angst idea. every song can be them too #i don’t really talk abt them on tumblr cause i’m still technically not actually. IN the genshin fandom #i play the game (now. entire months after i first was introduced to the ship) and i like characters and find the story intriguing but #my love for ylne transcends all that and the vision is both v simple and v insane & only my 3 twt mutuals bar poppy Get it #but also its really funny one of them isnt a playable character and probably never will be and he’s got like. a few mentions and #there is literally only one image of him out there (2 but the second was part of leaks drama). but im attached to his nonexistent wife #who he’s cheating on. the hannigram brainrot was easy to transfer across because they feel so similar but somehow even w/o cannibalism #they’re Worse and they’ve taken up permanent residence in my mind #and yes i’m only thinking abt all this as a way of procrastinating writing said fic its soso hard trying to do them justice 😔 #i think its genuinely become a pattern where i will write things that are So divorced from their original media and honestly. what a slay #faera's

[ransomdemands]

//

#cause I like most people am an attention hungry bastard I obsessively check my notes #and in trying to find a pattern of which ones pop off and which ones don’t I’ve noticed some things #the primary one being that the less explicitly trans things are the more notes they get #I have a couple of short ones about breeding boypussy that make the transmasc rounds #but mostly the ones that do the best are the ones where I write as a dom and I write it as gender neutral as possible #narrative‚ sensory oriented stuff (aka the stuff I like to read the most) is far and away the least popular #so I’m always torn between writing more dom perspective neutral posts for the validation #and just writing what I want and acting like an adult and accepting that Internet points aren’t the only value #but god I do love seeing number go up #also I love reading peoples tags and those also get the most needy tags but also they often break containment the most #so it’s a rather large trade off #anyway I don’t know what to write and I cannot help but use notes as a metric even though it’s not actually a useful one

[michaelmilligan]

Looking back on the time I felt so guilty because the female characters of any show were never my unchallenged favourites, and I didn't identify myself with them.

Like, I still loved them! Samantha Carter from Stargate, my beloved. Teyla kicks ass. Leia Organa, girl, your hairstlye is either the next big trend or a fashion disaster. Also you kick ass AND get a love interest that doesn't reduce you to being the girl™.

But yeah, I never identified with them, and I thought for the longest time that I was doing feminism wrong. As a girl, I must have wanted to be like those women, right???

However, turns out I was just doing 'being a girl' wrong. Because I wasn't a girl. And I projected onto the guys because I wanted to be a guy.

#Also there's an argument to be made about how with the sheer number of guy characters it's easier to find one to project onto #And also the writing and all that which at least in SG-1 was... clunky in the beginning #Anyway I really beat myself up over this which is silly at best #Because like. I did like the female characters! There wasn't even really anything to unpack about misogyny in that #Though to be fair there is always something to unpack when you grow up in a society #Anyway if you think that you're evil incarnate for liking a character over another: you're not #Try to unpack any resentments you have towards female characters if it's a pattern though please #If you would like the character if they were male but don't when they're female that's a problem #Anyway #Just trans things I guess #Also like. This doesn't mean that guys can't project onto female characters. #But I think when you're always being told that you're a girl when you're not then that makes it a little more difficult #Why are these tags so long #Anyway bye

[mixelation]

Oh thank you for the "forcing people to go to therapy (or otherwise infringing on their own decisions) is bad" post. Tbh I avoid therapy in fics because I feel like it's often widely misrepresented and it squicks me, plus it's often shown as a miracle cure when it doesn't even work for everyone - especially since therapists are people with their biases as well. I personally made a lot more progress on my own, which maybe I could have achieved with therapy but ultimately I'm not convinced, and I certainly would never have said anything to a therapist had I been forced to go. Also when writing in a real world setting people can get very anachronic about the subject and how it was seen at some points to go to therapy (I'm sorry but it was not seen well in the 90s and I will close the fic if I see it presented as such, it's not even seen as okay everywhere today). It's just... an accumulation of things that make me very nervous. But yeah people making decisions for others, especially when it comes to therapy, really upsets me. Idk if you saw it but a while ago there was a post about the found family trope and someone said they hated it because it was most of the time just a "no boundaries hell" and I feel pretty much the same about this (and the two tropes unfortunately tend to intersect).

mm, i avoid therapy in fic for these reasons too. "x goes to therapy" usually have the ~therapy~ happen off screen and feature the character magically "Getting Better" without them actively using anything they learn from therapy or any sort of struggle. they just stop doing whatever behaviors the writer thinks were disordered, or just stop being ~sad all the time~, and it think it can come off (probably unintentionally on the writer's behalf) as like..... "oh, being that way was wrong and bad, why did you stay in that state when there was an easy fix here all along??? now you can re-enter society and be a valuable, good person like the rest of us! :)"

to be clear to though: i don't have a problem with people writing these fics, or with people enjoying them. people can read and create what they want to. a huge portion of sickfic involves a character with a chronic illness or disability being confronted by their loved ones and forced into "taking care of themselves," and many of these very fics are written and enjoyed by disabled people. i think there must be some comforting fantasy about someone who loves you unconditionally managing your problems for you? and like, given the high proportion of neurodivergent and mentally ill people in fandom, I think the therapy fics must appeal to some of them too to be so popular? maybe in like a fantasy way where the appeal is a world where therapy is easy to get, everyone supports you doing it, and it works quickly and without complications? but i personally find the attitudes in these fics incredibly squicky and infantilizing, so i wish there was a TAG or CONTENT WARNING people would use.

like, i don't mind characters trying to force inappropriate interactions for "their own good" when it's treated as inappropriate/annoying but an unfortunately common experience. i just want a warning when it's going to be idealized into correct, benevolent behavior, because that's what squicks me. kind of like how i don't mind reading a male character telling a female character she'd be "prettier if she smiled more" as long as it's treated as a creepy comment by the narrative, but i'll click off the fic if i'm meant to interpret that as cute flirting.

#again: sometimes IRL adults do need an intervention. i'm not saying there aren't circumstances where this is called for #i'm just saying the average fic writer has no idea where that line is or if the line is crossed #how to write people behaving normally throughout and in the aftermath of the intervention #so it usually turns into (what to me reads as) an incredibly condescending act of #'you are not allowed to make make decisions for yourself that i don't like you stupid sick person' #also i think i HAVE read that post about found family #i can't say my experience is the same? but i don't actively go into that tag #i just like fic where unhinged people find community and support in other unhinged people u_u #but i do think there's a pattern of 'people who actively try to write x' like...... making weird decisions about it #usually not for like 'slow burn' or 'coffee shop AU' #but for example there is a lot of deeply unhealthy communication styles in the 'good communication' tag

[matoitech]

i think discussions on ‘how Smart galo Really is’ r uncomfortable at Best to see abt an autistic character as an autistic person bcuz they can get rly ableist rly fast (the amount of times ive read 'high functioning' with reference to galo by ppl tryingto say Dont be ableist! by being ableist) but every time i rewatch promare i am reminded of how Much galo has clearly going on in that movie that fandom ppl just kind of ignored in order to narrow him into fitting their tropes. he has plenty of character and thoughts going on but trigger wasn't giving him a running monologue in the background so ppl just pretended he was whatever they wanted him 2 be. what a coincidence people do this 2 real autistics too,

#i think one thing i always find rly interesting abt galo when i rewatch the movie is how for lack of a better word calculated he seems he #can be? sometimes there is a difference between what galo is choosing to let ppl see vs the things that r unintentionally slipping out #allistics tend to be rly bad at writing dialogue 4 him also whether hes speaking casually or theyre trying to make him the Speaker of #Meaningful Simple Truths. i cant rly explain examples u just kind of had to have seen that stuff urself and thought That doesnt feel right #i think lol. LIKE ITS JUST VERY. ALLISTICS ATTEMPTING TO WRITE AUTISTIC CHARACTERS W PRE ESTABLISHED DIALOGUE PATTERNS #also galos casual 1:1 conversations in the movie r very different from how hes talking when hes like. fighting in a mech. #obviously. but ppl didnt rly take that into account #hes either On all the time or hes a cardboard hot guy. or hes just Ableism 101

[vilevampire]

I'm going to start sobbing

#I just came here to see what other scenes I could turn into gifs but I got distracted and now I'm overanalyzing allocer's character. again #this is like the 3rd time #jazz as well #but specifically their dialogue and word choice #this is important to me bc I'm trying to write them #and 2 me if I can't read the words in the character's voice then I get very bothered #and and and I love how allocer speaks soo much I find it fascinating especially bc #before I consciously made the decision to analyze his characterization I hadn't even noticed it but he speaks in a very unique way #he tends to use more 'difficult' words and his speech pattern is less conversational #especially compared to jazz who speaks very smoothly #and very naturally #allocer is very blunt but not in a personality kinda way but in a the way he words his phrases kinda way #they're worded very unnaturally and I just find that so fascinating #and it doesn't usually translate to english well bc english is a very inflexible language compared to japanese #but there's certainly ways around it to display his characterization better #I think he would be fun to write. figuring out how exactly he would say things. #but from what I've seen in most fics he's in he speaks in a normal way #bc nobody's gone through the trouble of paying attention to his speech patterns . I'm the only one insane enough #man #if I spread my allocer agenda far and wide by writing my own fics where he's a fully fleshed out character #with his own unique quirks and stuff #maybe ...... ppl will see it and the quality of his fandom characterization will increase overall ...... #lucasings #blorboposting

[willowjay07]

The Big Bean haunts me.

#i haven't really worked on it in 7 or 8 months and i have no plan to #i hyped it up so much in my head that nothing i do could ever live up to it #plus i think it makes me sad #it's just i was in a different head space when i wrote it and i was using it as an outlet for my emotions and it can be so cynical #and marrissa was like the parts of myself i try to hide from the world but personified and on crack #and while i grew and changed marrissa never did #she's still stuck in the same self destructive patterns i broke out of #but i think that's one of the reasons i like it so much #marrissa sees the world as this shitty snake pit that's broken beyond repair yet she doesn't give up she doesn't lose hope #i honestly find her endearing #i'll get it done some year #awful project my beloved </3 #writing memes #my shenanigans

[leqclerc]

My biggest self-diagnosed shortcoming as a writer is not being better at dialogue 😔

#text #it drives me crazy trying to get the characters to say what i need them to for narrative/plot purposes #while keeping it feeling authentic and maintaining speech patterns and quirks and just making it feel accurate for that character #most of the time i struggle with finding the balance and half the time i hate the dialogue i write bc it doesn't feel authentic/good enough #and it's slowing down the whole process so much like this fic should be done already but HOW do i get them to TALK in a way that works

[dabilove27]

.

#please ignore #just writing out thoughts #so very emotional today #and certain things are adding to it #having a hard time challenging my thought process #the same pattern keeps repeating unfortunately and every time I feel myself disconnecting more #I’m just tired of it all #but all I can do is keep going and try to find things that lift me up #will continue to think about my sleeve to help push my forward! #just needed to type all out #too many thoughts in my head makes me insane #Tw vent

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[spacelazarwolf]

apparently a bunch of ppl on social media are trying to call for a boycott of rick riordan because of this statement in a blog post:

Becky and I are just back from a busy weekend with events at the Boston Book Festival and New York Comic-Con.

Before I get into that, however, some words to acknowledge the ongoing horrors in Israel and Gaza. As many of you may know, I am no longer on social media. My accounts post only updates on my books and related projects. I do not read posts, reply to posts, or share my thoughts about world events on those forums. That doesn’t mean I don’t have strong feelings and reactions. It means I am offline as completely as possible, except for the occasional blog post like this one.

I will say this: Over the last eighteen years, I have received many fan letters from young readers, both Israeli and Palestinian, who often told me that my books helped them escape the fear, grief and anxiety they were dealing with at the time. Some had lost family members to violence. Some were writing while in the distance they could hear explosions, gunfire, and the launching of rockets. They used my books as a way to escape into another world, where the monsters were fictional, and where demigods usually saved the day. While I am always glad that my books can help young readers find joy during difficult times, my heart breaks every time I hear about the things they have to deal with. I am grief-stricken by the horrific events now unfolding, especially because I know that they are part of a long historic pattern that has been robbing too many children of their childhood and perpetuating hatred for far too long.

I am also quite aware that when anyone, myself included, tries to speak about this issue, the reader is waiting to pounce, thinking, “Yes, but whose side are you on?” That is exactly the wrong question. If there are two sides to this issue, those sides are not Palestinian/Israeli or Muslim/Jewish. The two sides are humanitarian and dehumanizing. Dehumanizing has a long evil history. It is appealing and easy to buy into, because humans are tribal animals. We are hardwired to think in terms of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ We are the real humans, the good guys, the ones with God on our side. Those other people are evil monsters who don’t deserve empathy. Hate mongers have thrived on dehumanizing for as long as there have been humans. It provides them with a purpose, a way to rally support, power, and scapegoats. It is easy to point to atrocities committed by our enemies, while justifying or minimizing the atrocities committed by ourselves or our allies.

Humanitarianism is a much harder sell. It requires us to empathize, to see other groups of people as equally deserving of dignity and quality of life. It requires not always putting ourselves and our needs first. But in the long run, humanitarianism is our only hope. If violence could end violence, if we could put an end to “those other people” once and for all, human history would read very differently than it does.

So yes, I am appalled by the Hamas attacks on Israeli civilians. I am appalled by the suffering of Palestinian civilians in Gaza. Both things can be true. Both things must be true. My thoughts are with all the people who have died, who have lost loved ones, who have had their worlds and their lives shattered, especially the children. More death and violence will not break this cycle, which has been going on for generations. There is no military solution. Even since I first wrote the post, only twenty-four hours ago, the Israeli government’s brutal retaliation against the entire population of Gaza has reached genocidal proportions. This is not only an atrocity. It is folly. Answering misery with misery only creates more fertile ground for extremism, dehumanizing the “other side,” letting hate mongers thrive, stay in power, and reduce us all to our most monstrous impulses. The only real solution is treating each other like equally worthy human beings, and negotiating a peace that allows all parties a chance to live in security and dignity, with hopes for a future that does not include bombs and rockets and gunfire. This means security and support for Israel, yes. It also means a secure Palestine which is allowed to get the international aid and recognition it needs to build a viable state.

Do I think that will happen? Unfortunately, no. Humans are simply too selfish, too ready to blame “the other” for all their problems, too ready to dehumanize, though I also believe, perhaps paradoxically, that most people just want to live their lives in peace and have a chance for their children to have a brighter future. The problem is when we don’t allow other people to have those same hopes and dreams — when it becomes a false choice of us versus them.

What can I do? I will continue to write books that I hope will give young readers some joy. I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people. I will call for less violence, not more violence. And when asked whose side I am on, I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism.

So with that said, I return to the world of books . . .

honestly, if you have a problem with this statement, it’s probably because he’s talking about you. this is exactly what legitimate activists (as in not just random westerners who share social media posts but on-the-ground activists who are doing real work) have been saying for decades. and i think all this really speaks to just how disconnected a lot of westerners who claim to be pro palestinian are from those activists.

if you can’t read a statement that says “i am on the side of humanitarianism and less violence” without immediately jumping to cancel them, you are the problem being discussed in the above statement.

#ip