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prettyhighforawhiteguyblog · 4 months

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Amazon Vine reviewers should unionize.

We are being thrown housewares for our work. We are not getting milk frothers for free. We are creators writing content. Writing advertisements for Amazon itself.

Our critical reviews are used to lie about Amazons integrity. Our positive reviews get shit sold. Even our semi critical reviews being sales because they create stars and give a new product traction.

And we have to really create those reviews on our own because we sell half our shit on the Facebook Black Marketplace and write reviews that are based on what we see in the pictures.

Amazon knows we sell them. They have some nefarious reason making us pay taxes on our "free" stuff that they probably making us pay taxes on it so they can write it off as a fucking business expense.

As if the money mattered to Bezos. A few hundred bucks in taxes on our little home business means so much to us. Far more than to Bezos or the IRS. And the IRS could fucking leave us alone if Bezos would just start paying his fucking taxes on his infinite wealth. What is he going to lose when he has a trillion Freedom Tokens? But he makes us pay exorbitant taxes on trinkets we deliver all over town like drug dealers just to get some fucking pocket money.

Fuck that noise. Our ad content brings in billions for Amazon.

Mostly because they help these predatory sellers foist the same 3 shitty makes in 40 alphabet soup companies using the exact same fucking photos colluding the shit out of America. They know we're faking it, you know we're faking it. Even half the customers suspect we're faking it. But enough believe it. And these fuckers get a few dozen reviews under the newest branding of the same fucking shit from China Bezos floods is with.

You know Amazon taxes them all for using it's site and I'm sure they have some policy that makes more money somehow by charging new companies higher taxes or some shit. And the Chinese just calculate that as a minor cost of business expense.

They are raping the shit out of us for dollars and giving us our own recycled plastic shit in return.

It's hilarious. I applaud it. Well played Xi. I bow to you sir.

Now here's two middle fingers and a spit in you eye for the Weigers.

I wish.

This little scenario would doubtlessly cost me my life. I'm sure Mr Xi would make my death s priority of the Chinese Intelligence Agencies.

And I'm sure all our Bluetooth shit is infected with Chinese viruses to spy and affect our computers. I'm a dead man. All my shit is networked and GPS.

And I'm also sure the manufacturers are slapping in their own malware with the spyware contract software on everything to make extra money on our processing per and data. And a whole fucking lot of profiteering by draining all our processing for supercomputer networks dedicated to fucking crypto Global Warming accelerator bullshit for more stupid Freedom Bucks to live in Capitalism. But the Jerry rigged network of devices and computers is kinda a genius way of making at least this particular super computers doing crypto is not making CC2 directly. I mean they are still profiting from it... But anyway if someone needed a supercomputer for something more noble like scientific research...

If original, this is a Nobel kind of idea and I want a cut. A volunteer network of people putting more reputable malware on their computers. People can volunteer their processing power for science. It would never run while you were active, but when you laptop or phone goes to sleep it uses your computers processing power and spare ram to support say Stanford research. It would fire up research. It would be a cool thing to do this for your alma mater and your favorite basketball team.

Back to business. Unionizing and getting paid.

Our creative reviews get people to buy this shit. We deserve a cut

We write the reviews that get the people to buy your shit. And make you a fuckton more of these fucking US Dollars chaining us to Capitalism. We can't even live without money like a peasant. We need Freedom Bucks. And you don't. And we believe that however much that money is worth to Bezos, we deserve our wages. We deserve a cut in this dirty work.

You sell shit. We all know this. You could demand some level of quality on Amazon like the old stores. They had several standard brands. But only the brands they trusted the quality of or if the people demanded Jordans or whatever Capitalist shit we liked at the time.

We help you shovel this nameless shit at people for gross amounts of profit. Give me my pay.

I create the ads that people read. And here's the crazy thing. They find out our assessments were all over as individuals, but they're still relatively trustworthy as a whole group.

Figuring out how shitty or not this shitty product is going to work is a fucking skill. We are pretty fucking good at it.

On the rare occasion that we do we get something that is truly good, we make sure the reader knows it because we want people to get good shit.

And really, we're pretty likely to just say 5 stars and make shit up out of our butt in the review because hey, it probably works as well as one can expect for 50 bucks.

Our reviews are ads they get customers. First to check out shit with reviews to see how shitty it is and whether or not to take a chance. They look at reviews first to see what other people thought after they bought it. They see Vines. They might ignore them it they might use them as an advisor and take a chance anyway on a good bet according to johhnyfiveisalive7. And it turns outjohhnyfiveisalive7 is pretty reliable in their little analysis and obvious personal experiences. And who doesn't like a story and silly pics. So they trust johhnyfiveisalive7's suggestions and buy more of the shit you shoveled at them to try. You get a community of respected experts. People buy the shit you let us keep for our work. Even if it is shitty, just because it got enough meh reviews they take a chance on it. (And get stuck with more cheap shit usually.)

Amazon doesn't sell inexpensive decent quantity shit. It sells cheap shitty shit that is occasionally not so expensive.

Anyways Bezos is making boku bank of our creative work and expert, respected analysis. We should unionize and demand our cut.

Bezos will threaten to cut your vine access. Oh noes.

Your house is already furnished with shitty Amazon shit. Selling this shit is a shit show for spending cash unless you get real dedicated. The new toys and gifts to give are nice. But really, what do you get for your creative work beyond telling a few jokes in public.

What will they do without decent writers all of a sudden?

We They might bring in scabs. But they won't be good at their job and since the products are always new they need a new source of trusted reviewers.

So they might try to phase out dissidents here and there or in waves at leadership remove them from the community and to prevent union action. Be strong. Union strong.

But anyway we should ask for wages in proportion to the money we are bringing in and to the work we are really doing. We should get hundreds of thousands. We have better odds asking for ad creation level wages.

Without us they couldn't push all this alphabet shit on Americans and bug all our shit for China and slow down all our shit for crypto.

They can't keep selling their shit because nobody trusts their shit because it's all the same shitty shit with me shitty names that don't make sense. They killed all the real brands. They just flooded the market with cheap shit that is all nameless and unknown. Who's going to buy the latest shitty model everybody copies of nobody will review it.

Who's going to take a chance on a weird new name with 0 reviews? You need traction. You need Vine now. There's no history on all these new models. We can't see last year's buyers or 5 years ago buyers. Usually we can't even see last month's reviews, they are so new.

Nobody is going to buy your flea market shit without us. Vine wants a cut.

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By the by:

You know sneaker companies and Michael Jordan in particular need to face up to their destruction of Black neighborhoods with their shitty Capitalism shows. I say Jordon because he really launched the sneaker collector craze. With his flashy shoes and slick ads and likable personality plus court dominance.

Jordan really needsto face up and and pay up.

He has to face up to the fact he profited off some terrible shit as he sold his shitty shoes made by fucking prison slave labor. He fucked up Black community, destroyed lives and whole inner city neighborhoods. As people fight fight and died and desperately sold it bought it robbed it to wear or sell for it's inflated price based on our adoration and admiration of Jordan. People regularly resorted to prostitution and violence in order to have and/or steal. How many people died over a back alley hold up gone wrong. How many ended up in the Justice System, in hell.

Jordan needs to pay up. Reinvest in Black America. That could be his new thing while he still quietly profits off of shoe sales.

#Amazon Vine #vine reviewers #Union strong #apes together strong #fuck Bezos #how come people are so greedy? it's $2 #if Biden won't tax him we will #at least a little more of Bezos money leaks out of Panama and back to the people #selling shit on Facebook marketplace is the worst.#how come people are so greedy on there #you just can't be happy without $5 off #and delivery you say?#nobody seems to have a fucking car #no i will not meet you in fucking Visalia #wait they do have a bunch of independent weed shops out there...#get paid

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