#i hope i didn't forget anything? i might also edit this if i find the need to/i rmb to add smth <3

[oleander-nin]

Writing advice(hopefully)

I TAKE EVERYTHING BACK I SAID I DO HAVE A METHOD TO WRITING. I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS A METHOD BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT FOR SO LONG.

advice under cut

Before you write something, flesh the ENTIRE thing out. I don't mean like kinda do a couple word summary, I mean write the basics before you write how the basics go together. You want to write about a picnic? Flesh out things they might say during it, what their bringing, who's making the food, etc etc.

Examples from my own writing doc for my most recent posted fic->

As you can see, it's long, and tells me most of what I need. It's also not organized, and many things are misspelled or grammatically incorrect. This is because my main goal was to get a basic plan out, not to make it look pretty. I also had three slightly different ideas I could go with before deciding on which I wanted. The more you have down, the easier it will be. I also color code mine, but that's not necessary, it's just ease of use. I can explain my color coding if needed, but I won't until asked.

2. Write in chunks. Do you have that really specific scenario already planned out? Write it first. You can make the rest around it, but once you get at least that small bit out, the rest can come naturally.

3. Keep yourself occupied. I get bored easily if I'm just writing, so I have to be doing other things at the same time. Just make sure it's something simple so you don't get distracted. I personally use my cat as to keep my stimulated(?) enough to continue. You could mimic something like this by putting on music/shows in the background, or writing multiple fics at once.

4. Don't force yourself if you can. I know I said I do earlier, but that was mostly a joke. I write to deal with stress, so writing in itself calms me down. It's difficult to do something if I'm not perfectly in tune with it. If a request is proving to be difficult, or an idea isn't doin what you want, change it up a bit until it fits into the puzzle better. You'd rather have a changed fic than no fic.

5. Use prompt generators for ideas if you're stuck. I personally have a big tin of cookie fortunes and verbs/nouns so I pick two up and create a story around that. It helps get your brain going. And you can keep doing this until something sparks.

6. Stay as focused as you can. Close other tabs, keep your eyes on your writing, stuff like that. I know this may seem to conflict with the 'keeping yourself occupied' one, but you really have to find the right balance for you. For example, I can't have music playing, but I CAN talk to other people while I write. Play around until you find your zone.

7. Try not to edit as you go. It's okay to fix a word or two as needed, but once something takes over 5 minutes to fix, you should skip it and move on. Your main goal should be able to get it all down so you have something to edit eventually.

8. If you forget a word, don't dwell on it too much. Just put something as a safeholder(ie: Elephant, Jumanji, etc), highlight it, and move on. You can shoot a friend a text to help find the word, but don't stress if nothing matches what you're thinking of. You can figure it out after, or find a new word.

9. If you get stuck while writing, go back about three to five sentences and read it over. See if you can continue going, or find what you need to change. It doesn't have to be a huge change, it just has to be enough to get you going again. And if you can't figure it out? Skip it and write the rest and figure out the transition later.

10. Use references throughout you're writing. Whether it's on the world, injuries, dialogue, emotion portrayal, or anything in between, do research and find references. It can help make connections in your brain as well as make it easier to write. For many fanfics, if you look up the fandom's wiki, their personalities will be included in their character's article.

I think that's it for now, I might add more later. I really hope this make an inkling of sense, I got frustrated after Tumblr deleted half of what I wrote the first time around. Apologies for the rambles, I am neither good with words, neither with explaining myself in a coherent manner. If anyone needs/wants extra clarification, don't be shy to ask. And my sincerest apologies for not saying this in a reblog @itsyagurlchip, but it was starting to get long and I hate how you can't collapse reblogs so I put it here. If you need me to, I can copypaste and put it as a reblog.

#writing help #creative writing #writing advice

[cilil]

New Year & Resolutions

So... 2023. As with many of us, it wasn't a great year for me. Lots of stress and struggling irl, family members getting severely ill, some tragic accidents... and with some of these situations being ongoing and big scary exams coming up, 2024 isn't looking much brighter for me in that regard.

However!

I still have my stories, my blorbos and my friends - and that means you guys - to keep me company and brighten my day. I don't know what I would do without you and all of the fun things we do together and for that, I'm endlessly grateful.

In late 2022, I (re)entered the Silmarillion fandom (as in, I was never interacting before that, but I was there), and in 2023 I joined and participated in a whole bunch of events and met so many great people - many new, but also a few I remember from back in the day. It felt great to finally, after all these years, have the courage to reach out and let you know that I love your works. Let's hope for another year of creativity and community, and I'm very much looking forward to what everyone has in store...

... which brings us to my new year's resolutions.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ I've started working on expanding my character pool, as some of you may have noticed in the more recent events and challenges I shared on my blog, and I want to continue doing that. Comfort is a fickle thing and I'm always worried I don't get it right, but I try to take it as an opportunity for creative growth either way.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Related to the previous point: I want to continue using the drabble and ficlet events specifically to give gifts to friends, mutuals and followers alike, so once again: If you have brainrot or fun ship ideas or anything of this sort, let me know, hit me up, let's chat. I love hearing new ideas. And if it's ever something I don't feel like I can write or talk about at that time I'll let you know, so no worries at all.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ I want to continue being present for events, but I need to find some time for my personal projects as well, which I haven't really managed this past year. There are several ideas for bigger projects I have lying around and collecting dust (both Angbang and otherwise) and I also have old fics from back in the day that I want to rewrite and share. It won't be easy, especially with the aforementioned exams and all, but I want to at least try.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ That also includes requests I have yet to fulfill and unfinished events. My apologies to all those who have waited longer for something than they should have - I assure you, I didn't forget about it. I'm just a bit of a bumbling fool who gets too excited about her hobby and then proceeds to bury herself in too much work.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ On the other hand, I did manage to make some progress in regards to being more motivated, being more productive and taking better care of myself and I want to continue improving in that regard, be it when it comes to fandom or otherwise. I also want to say thank you to all those who supported me during difficult times - you know who you are. Thank you. I appreciate you more than you will ever know.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ As generic as it sounds, I also want to continue improving my craft, both writing and, dare I hope, art. I had several moments over the year where I felt like I improved or I learned or understood a new thing, but there's always room for more and I'm someone who enjoys learning.

I might have forgotten something so there may be edits, but that's it for now.

I wish all of you a happy new year and all the best for 2024, even if things aren't looking too bright for you either. Despite everything, I'm confident that we can get through this together, and if nothing else just know that I'm here for you, trying to share the things that make my life better and hopefully bring others a bit of joy too.

By which I mean hot angel porn -

Bye~

#new year #new year's resolution

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

coming after witch eclipse's ass nyeheheh >:3

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

What animal do they fear most?

What is their favorite number?

What embarrasses them?

*rubs my lil hands together and cackles*

1.) Maybe a minute at most. He's a very busy guy and is constantly moving around, prepping spells or leafing through old documents or researching about the pendant or conducting experiments;he doesn't have time for any recreational activities, he always has something to do, and if he doesn't then he'll make something up to occupy himself with. He can't sit with himself for very long before thoughts start to settle in and he vehemently refuses to sort through them-most of them are about KC and Eclipse's own creation and...well, let's just say there's a little apprehension in questioning oneself. This constant behavior often results in him forgetting to charge and managing by some miracle to plug in at the last second-he also doesn't eat (not that he needs to, but it does help with energy levels) and has a very large caffeine addiction, which feeds into his non-stop movement.

2.) Anything relating to his past life before KC disappeared. If it weren't for the fact that he doesn't have anywhere else to go (plus a secret fear of officially losing everything and an almost non-existent hope that KC might return), he would have burned down the house and left a long time ago. He keeps KC's room locked at all times, grabbed all the pictures and slammed them into the drawer, and basically took everything he'd owned and hid it-out of sight, out of mind. The only thing he keeps are KC's old documents about the pendant-for his research, of course (and because KC writes in a way very similar to how he speaks-thoughtful, neat, concise-Eclipse hasn't heard from him in some time.). Well, those and KC's clothes-Eclipse had outgrown his old shirts after a while and they were just sitting there, so he might as well. He does his best to ignore the stuffy smell of pine needles and charcoal, but it's still there.

3.) Snakes-after the...incident, with one of his experiments on a pendant, he developed a fear of them-but that's probably a normal reaction to finding one in your sink, your dresser, your mattress, and your favorite coffee cup. It's not a terribly large fear, however-he'll freeze for a second and then fumble around for his lazer cannons and turn the thing into mere molecules, same as any other animal. As long as it's not in his space, he doesn't really care. Most of his fears aren't animal related, anyhow.

Edit: I’ve decided he’s also a little nervous about ravens-they’re often seen as a bad omen (at least in my culture, though I never really cared cuz corvids are adorable) and he always feels a little on edge when they circle the house. Lunar likes them, though.

4.) Had to sit and think about this for a while because I don't think he'd really have a favorite, but it'd probably be 13-they used to joke that that was the number of words KC spoke a day. It's also how old he was when he cast his first spell, though that memory is somewhat soured by the aftermath.

5.) (I see what you're doing here, ehehe)

If we're talking general embarrassment or mortification-baby pictures or things from when he was younger. KC never had anyone to share his stories of Eclipse with and no one was there but him and Eclipse himself, who only remembers some of them, but this guy would actually crawl into a hole and die if his childhood was brought up. He was a very bright child, KC remembers, very chipper and carefree and different from the Eclipse we have now. Eclipse looks upon his past self with a sort of bitter scorn and envy: he was weak back then, didn't know what the world really was, easy to manipulate and easier to hurt...but he also knows that he was happier back then in spite of all of that, back when life was simpler. He tries not to dwell on the past too often-it's gone and no amount of remembrance will change anything now.

...Assuming you're close enough to him that his reaction to whatever it is isn't unbridled rage and several death threats that aren't entirely impossible to enact, working with him or doing little favors makes his non-existent heart burn: arranging his papers for him, making him a cup of coffee, ironing out a shirt, volunteering as a bouncing board for his ideas, things like that. You won't get a thank you, if that's what you're looking for-if anything, he'll probably be very gruff about it, shooing you away to mask the increasing temperature of his casing and the steam coming out of his fans. And if you're confident enough to tell him outright what you think of him (assuming it's all good things), he'll bluescreen for a good 10 seconds before stammering out an insult and running back to the safety of his workplace-where he'll get nothing done and stew in his thoughts for a good 3 hours.

#asks #witch au #witch eclipse #thanks for the asks sue! #i heavily appreciate it! #hope these were satisfactory answers! #(sorry they're a little long-i got carried away ahaha...) #i love how this au was supposed to be lunar-centric and then just evolved to become entirely about eclipse #pfft #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! #i love getting asks and it only happens once in a blue moon so I'm always really happy to answer #anyways yea! #tsams au #witch kc #rambles

[writernopal]

Author Ask Tag

Tagged by a few peeps for this one!

@eponymoussquared here

@writeblr-of-my-own here

@gummybugg here

Thank you all so much! 💙

Tagging (gently): @sam-glade @theroseempress @squarebracket-trick @writingmaidenwarrior @writinglittlebeasts @mysticstarlightduck @elshells @tabswrites

1. What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

To be compassionate of one another. We're all different for so many reasons but we're more alike than you might think and at the end of the day we're all people doing our best and trying to get by. It's important to remember that and to know that we're all dealing with our own things along the way.

I chose it because it truly saddens me how much we as people hold each other back due to in-fighting and othering one another. I wanted a way to examine that and hopefully communicate to anyone reading AASOAF how harmful something like that is. It's no coincidence that the art and humanities have all but come to a standstill in Oepus and that's just part of it...

In short, be kind to your fellow man, dammit.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

Lizards for sure haha. But a lot of my inspiration comes from nature, human history, music, movies, and foley design! Also, I have an intense curiosity about all sorts of different things so Google deep dives are very inspiring!

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

My MCs are trying to find their places in the world. They all kind of get confronted with some pretty harsh truths about their respective situations and are kind of forced to decide if they're going to keep going down their current path or if they are going to do something to change it.

As far as what I'm trying to achieve, I think I really want to drive the point that familiar =/= safe or "good". It can, but not always. I also really want to demonstrate that no matter who you are or where you come from, introspection, questioning the world around you, and deriving meaning to 'life and purpose', are something we should all engage in. I sincerely hope that it gives my readers the courage to do those things for themselves and grow into the versions of themselves I know they can be!

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

As many as it takes.

5. Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original! AASOAF 3 will join AASOAF 1 & 2 on Wattpad when it's all finished! I have considered moving platforms recently but I'm not sure where yet.

6. When and why did you start writing?

My writing journey kind of comes in two parts. I started writing back when I was a teenager but only did it for about a year. I can't really remember why I stopped and I definitely don't have anything from that time, mostly because I didn't think to save it. I really wish I had though.

After that, I didn't get back into writing until late 2019 at the encouragement of my therapist that I journal my feelings. So I did that, but then somewhere along the way I remembered how much I liked stories and I started writing for fun!

7. Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Just write, bro. Seriously. I think people get bogged down in a deluge of advice, technique, the "right" way to do things, etc, etc that they quite literally lose the plot. They forget why they started writing in the first place or build it up to be this thing they're afraid to engage with or even forget that under all of that they are just trying to tell a story. SO TELL IT. Stop putting up imaginary walls for yourself dude. WRITE. THE. DAMN. THING. You're not going to nail it on the first try, THAT'S FINE (and kind of the point, hello editing!) and you will get better over time. It's like jumping into a swimming pool and getting upset when you discover that you're not an Olympic level swimmer. Give yourself some grace and write the damn thing.

As far as other writers, I follow so many lovely peeps that this post would be longer than a CVS receipt if I listed them all LOL so instead, have some of my darling moots who have made being on this little corner of Tumblr that much sweeter 💙

@outpost51

@sam-glade

@elshells

@writingmaidenwarrior

@tabswrites

@crowandmoonwriting

@acertainmoshke

@captain-kraken (not around so much anymore but you had such a positive impact on me, dear captain, that it cannot be overstated)

#tag game #author ask tag #aasoaf #about me

[medicallymercury]

Just seen the Casualty spoilers for next week, I don't know how to describe my feelings. The first Teddy-related spoiler made me so physically excited I had to start jumping around my living room to be able to keep reading. The second one made me throw my phone across the room. Mixed feelings and general nausea.

The first one? More than I even hoped for from this episode. I honestly just expected that this episode would be him in his feelings, maybe telling Paige about it but probably Jodie (I'LL GET TO THAT). Instead, Jan asking him to come collect the ashes? How interesting it is for his characterisation that he still hasn't forgiven her enough for that? Paige finding out he only proposed because of Gethin? The role of family in Teddy's entire existence? MOST IMPORTANTLY: SAH TRYING TO GIVE HIM ADVICE. We're finally getting a Teddy and Sah scene, and it might go horribly but I honestly thought he'd just never talk to them again and the writers would try and pretend they'd resolved that storyline so I genuinely will cry about this. Expect so many edits. I am so fucking excited to see them interact again, I am shaking like one of those little dogs. I am foaming at the mouth. You will never shut me up.

The second one? Exactly what I dreaded would happen in this episode. I'm not happy about the Teddy/Jodie storyline and I don't shut up about that. I've said before that if I ship something I usually ship it forever and in the case of Teddy that means being very tied to Sah/Teddy/Paige for the good times and Sah/Teddy (no Paige) for the bad times, so I'll never really want to see him with anyone else (I'm not even really very big on Teddy/Paige with no Sah). To be fair, I can objectively see why this does kind of make sense in the moment if not on a whole. Teddy and Jodie are the hospital's nepo-babies and I say that as a joke but I do think it can put them in somewhat similar situations. On top of that, Teddy has just lost Gethin, Jodie has been kinda actively losing Max - I don't think their situations are that similar but I think they have more common ground with each other than they do with a lot of other people. So I see why this works but I don't care, I don’t have to be rational or reasonable about the medical drama if I don’t want to. (And incredibly subjectively? There is no main character in the show whose family life makes for more interesting comparsion with Teddy's than Sah's, even with this storyline.)

I'm not gonna lie and pretend I'll accept it as a plot choice because we've known about it for months now and I still don't like it. But I might've found a way to ignore it if they hadn't decided to make it happen this quickly. I always knew that the Gethin stuff would lead to the infidelity somehow, but I wanted an episode of Teddy grieving that didn't feature that. I wanted them to give Teddy and Jan a little time before they went that way. Just to properly establish things before rushing into a very new storyline, if anything. Even a brief acknowlegement in today's episode would've been better than this. I think I'm getting too into it because personal life things, there's a reason why Teddy is so me and let's keep it at that.

Oh and, yeah, I guess technically he does it under the assumption that he and Paige aren't together so it's kind of not cheating. But it is cheating, isn't it? And he's gonna keep at it. So I feel like even if it kind of isn't cheating now, it will be cheating eventually.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mixed mixed mixed feelings.

(Also, I forget how much I disagree with Casualty Twitter and then Teddy does anything and the response reminds me. I’m not saying he’s not done anything wrong, but the stuff he’s done wrong is so interesting and people there seem to just want him to disappear entirely if he won’t play the role of “Sah’s Best Friend” for them.)

#casualty spoilers #bbc casualty #teddy gowan #sah brockner #paige allcott #jodie whyte #jan jenning #max cristie

[halfbit]

help i am once again having to make Choices

so i discovered canva today, and now i really want to make little template thingies for sharing some of my projects in image format. problem. i overthink fonts

pls... help, which do you guys think would work best??? also this isn't for a text body font, these choices are a bit too flashy for that vv info about serpent's quest in the readmore below for vibe-matching (also if you have suggestions for a different font entirely, feel free to add)

serpent's quest is a high fantasy solarpunk isekai where every person has a reason for not wanting to go home, whether it be that the only thing they can return to is a destroyed planet, a family that was happy to see them go, and a family that never knew who they really were, for whatever their reason, they don't care if this is their last stop. and why would they want to leave? this beautiful land they've found themselves in, saonkaya, looks like one they'd only ever seen in the old art. the flowers are neverending, the creatures reach the clouds, and the towns are full of wonder. yes, there are monsters here, but isn't that just how these things go? and besides, what are monsters in the face of magic? let's explore this world together, and all the secrets it holds, and watch foe turn to tentative friend, as whispers of the new world's death thrum, and a serpent creature from the stars above constricts the protagonist, trying to pull him into it's carefully plotted path to return it to power. mankind needs to be pulled down from the sky, it says. and maybe it's right. even more information since i kinda started rambling below haha

for wolf, this world is still to be feared. he doesn't want to leave this place, but he's not cut out for it yet either. maybe it was the fact he nearly died on his first day, that tends to damper your mood. healing, it turns out, costs money, money he doesn't have. no money, no id, and no idea about where he's at. he's got magic now, but he can't really figure it out, and it doesn't seem to be able to protect him or fight anything, it just whispers in the background, concepts of danger, which might be helpful, if it told him where it came from.

but wolf decides to make the most of it, since he was finally able to escape the one place he needed to. and even though money is going to be a challenge to come by (and he's already starting his new life with debt) he finds people at his side, not really... companions. he doesn't want to keep people around like that, but, they'll work together, and life will be easier for it. they can discover the wonderful things about this world together, and maybe wolf will be able to compensate for his underwhelming magic with some cool items. just because he starts rough, doesn't mean he can't make things better with the right tools, right?

unfortunately, on his little adventures, he stirs a snake's nest. with the eyes of an imprisoned god now on him, he finds his choices are no longer entirely his own. something is moving things into place for him, locking down his other paths, until he only has one path forward, and even if its one he'd wanted, he now feels the eyes on the back of his head, and knows he's doing exactly what it wants. it's just waiting. waiting for him to keep doing it's will. and that pisses wolf off.

god i hope i didn't forget anyhthing since i can't edit polls

#writeblr #fonts #writing community

[powerofmettatonneo]

Happy Birthday Jason!/An Announcement + Bonus Content

After half a month of no updates on What Measure is a Non-Human, I finally have one! And, since y'all have been dedicated enough to follow my Tumblr, y'all get to be the first ones to know (all one of you currently; hi IYP! Thanks for all the support!).

I've been hard at work writing the story, but not spending as much time editing it as I would like, so I'm currently sitting on two-three chapters. This is because the mental downtime I have at my job gives me a lot of time to think of ideas that I want to immediately write down before I forget them, but the physical time I spend there takes away from the time I can spend editing it. I could hypothetically release them with less editing done on them, but I want to hold myself to a higher standard of what I release into the world and do genuinely enjoy the editing process. However, with that all being said, I have three days off in a row, and I'm going to use this chance to buckle down and try and get them ready for publication by Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, I can't promise anything, but I do have other news that I can make assurances on.

I've decided that Valentine's Day is Jason's birthday. I wanted to give most of the major characters birth months, at least, just for chronological cohesion; I chose this day in particular for Jason because I have personal history with the day that, when combined with the fact that he's the mc of a romance story, made it the perfect day for him. In celebration of his birthday, I have written out a 7k word prequel one-shot all about the confession/first kiss that I will be posting on Valentine's Day, come hell or high water.

I actually wrote a first draft of the first kiss portion all the way back in December, right after the second chapter, and as a bonus for those of you who take the time to find this post, whether now or in the future, I'm going to share it with you. Most of it will be repetitive to the last bit of the finished story, so beware of spoilers I guess (but this is a prequel anyways so like do they even matter), but I have added enough to the final product to make it stand out and above. Really, this is largely just to archive it as I think it's interesting to see how any story evolves over time, much less my own, and I hope y'all feel the same way. See y'all on Valentine's Day, and without further ado, here goes the original first kiss scene (also fair warning, there's still no smut, but it does get more explicit than I've previously allowed it to):

…Hazel reached up and kissed him. Jason entered a state of shock, freezing in place. At first, his mind went completely and totally blank, but that quickly changed into a series of scattered thoughts as his mind tried to reconfigure itself. I'm being kissed. By Hazel. Who is a Pokemon. Oh Arceus, I’m being kissed by a Pokemon—and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever felt. As soon as he returned to coherent thought, however, the kiss ended. Hazel pulled away, and Jason could see that she looked… scared. The look in her eyes was the same that he had when he confessed his feelings to her. It hit him then; the kiss was her idea of a response, and he had just frozen in place like an idiot. He could imagine the doubts and fears rushing through her at his complete lack of a reaction. He also knew exactly how to alleviate them.

Jason narrowed the gap between them and restarted the kiss. He could clearly feel the surprise in his partner and just as clearly feel it melt away as she returned it. Her lips felt velvety against his as they both pushed against each other with all their might. All of the nerves, the adrenaline, the raw energy they were feeling was channeled into the kiss. They fell back onto the bed, Hazel on top, and didn't stop for a second. It felt like they were melting together, becoming one.

Hazel broke from the kiss, and before Jason had a chance to react, she dragged her tongue across his lips. She moved it down, trailing along his chin and neck, resulting in a small moan escaping his mouth. When she arrived at his shirt, she grabbed it with her teeth and began tugging at it.

“S-stop,” Jason gasped, lightly pushing his partner back. Hazel let go of his shirt and stared at him, a look of disappointment in her eyes. It hurt him to see it, but he had read enough ‘romance’ stories to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry, but we can’t do this right now,” he said, trying to let her down gently.

“Umbre,” she whimpered, looking down at her feet. She felt ashamed at herself for pushing so hard so fast and afraid of what her best friend would think of her for it. Or, she did, until the implication of those last two words hit her. She jolted her head back back up and was met with a worried smile on Jason’s face.

“I’m not saying never,” he started, “but I don’t think I’m ready for something like that yet, and I’m pretty sure mom would just straight up kill us if she found out.” Hazel just sighed at that, but even the vague hope of “not never” sent a small shiver up her spine. She laid down on top of him, enjoying his warmth. They sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s touch in the wake of the roller coaster of emotions they had both just experienced, and soon drifted off to sleep, not caring what tomorrow might bring so long as they had each other.

[Also, one final super extra bonus note: my beta only left one comment on this original draft when I showed it to her, and it was too funny not to mention: on the line "Her lips felt velvety against his", she simply wrote "I refuse to consider the mechanics of this", to which I simply responded "coward".]

#what measure is a non-human #fanfic #human x pokemon

[damfinofanfiction]

Chapter 22: A Talk Between Two Aunts

Note: just to conclude 2023 with this new chapter! you may notice that I edited the story a bit on ao3; it's only for the grammar. this might stay the same on tumblr. Anyway happy new year damfinos!

Filming resumed as soon as the star cow was no longer in heat. Buster was relieved that things had run smoothly once more. However, minor obstacles still occur in production but each has a solution. Rain? Shift the shoot to indoor scenes. Wolves lurking around? The ranch owners promptly dealt with them. Running out of ideas for a gag? Gather the crew to play a little ball until something comes up.

Whatever it took, Buster wanted or had to finish the film by autumn.

Buster was thankful to the ranch owners for letting them film there and giving insight into the plot. Not to mention their attempts to help Brown Eyes, but he didn't want to be reminded. 

Kathleen Myers was a fine actress for Buster to direct. It wasn't her first time in a feature this year since she had finished Goat Getter at the time of her casting. Kathleen once complained to Buster about the cow slowing production down as she had other upcoming projects. Buster appreciated her ambitious nature, and her looks reminded him of Gail. He still wished she would have worked with him if it wasn't for the injury or Schenck recommending Kathleen to the picture. 

In mid-July, Buster decided for the production to leave the ranch after having the necessary footage. Filming was moved to the train where he could develop gags and scenarios.

As always, Buster had thought about how the movie would begin and end but he still had ideas for the middle. He had conversed with Lex about how it would go.

Sometimes it just left Buster thinking about whether he would say anything to Gail.

************

On her Saturday off, Gail hung her damp clean laundry on a clothesline in a small backyard. The production of the short had finished the day before and everyone celebrated with a small party which had Gail feeling tired in the morning. She hadn't had a Buster dream for a while. They became unnecessary since she was seeing and having some activity with Buster Keaton.

Following her chores, she went to the front to find out what was in her mailbox, forgetting to check the day before. She then noticed that among the mail, one was addressed to her. She rushed inside to read in peace. Expecting it to be from the one and only, she was a bit disappointed to find it was from Churchill. She opened the envelope and read the letter.

Dear Gail, We are thrilled to announce that Geraldine’s twins have arrived on July 12! They are both healthy girls and their mother is recovering well. Their older brother Jake is not happy that neither one is a boy. Ezekiel’s just relieved that the delivery went smoothly and is glad he found an experienced doctor for her. We will provide more details to come. We were also surprised to hear that you were at the premiere of Charlie Chaplin’s new picture. We all saw that movie too but it was just one scene that not everyone believed you were in the picture. We also would love to hear everything about you and how your arm has recovered.  Geraldine agreed we should delay your father’s retirement party to Thanksgiving weekend instead of August. We hope to see you then. Love, Mother.

Gail had mixed reactions to the letter. She’s an aunt again but had forgotten about her father’s upcoming retirement. She believed that it was due to her romantic involvement with Buster that made her slip her mind.

Later that evening, bridge practice at Lenore's was turned into a game of kings in a corner because the older woman decided to liven up the game night. Gail placed a red queen on top of a black king. Sally wasn't new to the card game but quickly picked up the skill as she placed a black five over a red six. Lenore then put those cards on top of the corner which her niece overlooked on her turn.

What pleased Gail more was seeing Lenore and Sally on good terms since she hadn't seen them argue or offend each other in three months.

 Lenore asked Gail, "So what's new?"

When picking up a new card, she responded, "I have just received news that my sister has given birth to twins."

The women both put down the cards after hearing the happy news. "That's wonderful! Why didn't you say so before?" Lenore boasted.

It wasn't brought up. I didn't get a picture yet. She and the babies are fine. They didn't send a picture yet."

"I'm happy for your family." Lenore smiled widely.

"Yeah, that must be hard childbirth," Sally chirped in.

The older woman nodded with a sullen face. "Well, not everyone is lucky to have a child." Both young women looked at her with sympathy.

"There's another thing," Gail mentioned another bit of news about her father. "I'm just glad the retirement party is delayed. What if Mr. Sennett has me on another project by that time?"

"Don't worry, there are other actresses who are dying to be in pictures!” Sally said.

"That's true, they can fill in, though you're still irreplaceable."

Sally stretched her arms and yawned. "I'm gonna head upstairs now, good night auntie, good night Bae."

“Very well, good night Sal!” It was getting late. She would have left the table to grab her hat and coat if it were for any persuasion by the older woman.

“Gail, can you stay for a bit?” Lenore asked. “I like us to talk, just us aunts.”

“Sure.” 

Cards were placed aside. “How well did you get along with your nieces and nephews?”

“Well, they know me well but it’s hard not to see them since we're apart more often.”

“My nephews didn't want to talk to me, they only wanted my money. However, Sally didn't care about my wealth. She said nothing about it.”

Gail knew she was still seeing the wealthy Sterling and didn’t want to say anything, hoping Lenore would hear from Sally. She blurted out, “Well that’s good since she’s not chasing money.”

"That’s not it", Lenore sighed. "The point is that I don't know what is going on and what kind of life she has. Did she tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

She quit that nightclub. 

Gail was in a bit of disbelief. "But she enjoyed performing there."

"She did before. She told me that her manager fired her because of her age, but she would rather quit." Lenore became visibly upset. "I worry she's turning into my sister. May God rest her soul. My most regret is not being there for her, even if she was stubborn. That's why I'm trying my best to look after my niece." Gail gave her a comforting hug. When they stopped Lenore wiped her eyes. "You are a godsend, dear."

"Well, I guess I am." Gail grinned gracefully.

"As you're her best friend, I'd like you to keep an eye on her when you let her come along."

Gail held the older woman’s hand as she tried to avoid breaking her trust, "You have my word."

She left Lenore’s after wishing each other a good night.

Gail took a bus to get home. Before going to her bungalow, she checked the mailbox again. Her eyes lit up when she found an envelope from the Kingman Hotel. She rushed to her bedroom, so she read the letter in bed. 

Dear Gail,

I’m sorry I haven't written to you. Things were busy during filming. Brown eyes is alright again. 

The heat in the desert was hot as hell and it kept being rained on which thankfully helped cool down.

I would like to hear how it went filming your short since we have to keep things between us.

Thankfully, I will be coming back home at least next week. We left the ranch after some weeks and are currently filming somewhere along the way.

There’s another good news, we will be filming downtown when we return. While there’s still a consideration, I would like you to be on the scene if you're free to work with me.

See you then!

Yours truly, "Michael"

Gail beamed, grabbed the letter close to her chest, and then drifted off to sleep due to drowsiness.

She didn't mind sleeping with her clothes on because she's going to see Buster again soon.

#buster keaton #buster keaton fandom #buster keaton fanfiction #silent comedy #buster #actor rpf #busterkeaton #buster fic #silent era

[timidloner]

OH MY GOD. Your story is so good, it completely made my day, my weekend. I love love LOVE this!

There’s something about someone who’s completely and undoubtedly devoted to you that I can’t help but love and desire 🥹

And I LIVE for the possessiveness and jealousy and I feel weird for liking it so much because it’s so unhealthy yet I find it so hot AAAHHH 😭

Also, may I ask for more details into Leonor and Cordell’s love(?) story? I’m a romantic at heart and I like to believe that they loved each other and still do. Are we going to meet them again, by the way?

Well, anyway, wanna be friends, dear author? Because I think we might share the same tastes in fictional characters 🤭 I hope you have a very lovely day and I’m sorry for the long ask 😅💛

Aww, thank you very much!!

And please, don't feel weird about it! I know is very frowned upon to like dark fiction or bad characters these days, but I've never seen the issue with it when it's an adult community. It's fiction, after all, and that serves as a way to safely explore unhealthy fantasies.

But I'm saying all this, and I also was nervous to put my writing out there and get canceled, haha. Even though I think Joren is very tame overall.

Now, more info about Leonor and Cordell...

They really were in love.

Cordell is common-born, and, in his youth, he was obsessed with becoming important and sticking to what was proper in society's eyes.

He hated Leonor when they first met, she was wild and cared nothing for social rules or religion (changed her tune when the creatures appeared, lol). Meanwhile, she enjoyed making him angry a great deal, and even regularly flirted with him during their chases.

At some point, he got nearly run over by a carriage during one of those chases, and Leonor saved him. That was their turning point.

They keep with that charade, but Leonor wasn't even keeping the things she stole. She always dropped them at his door some days later. And he, in turn, left flowers and small presents carved on wood for her to find by his window.

Yes, sometimes someone else took them, lmao

Then they slept together and she showed him her identity. Things were good for a good while, maybe one or two years. She thought she could make him forget about society's rules, and he thought he could reform her.

They started to fight more, and more. And then, he became the chief of the town's guards and the minor noble families started to notice him. One of them was interested in marrying their third daughter to him, which would have been a great opportunity, he'd belong to a noble house by marriage, even if it was a really minor one.

It got to his head... and you see what happened after that. In the end, he didn't pursue that marriage, but his relationship with Leonor was destroyed.

But even now that they're "strangers", he still loves her and protects her from afar. He's the reason why Leonor can get away with nearly anything in MC's hometown. She's a retired thief, but sometimes she had to steal to feed MC and Cordell knows that, so he looks away when he can.

And yes! Let's be friends! Do you want a special anon tag? I do this with Rambling, who I kinda see as a friend (hope this isn't weird, ram).

Leonor doesn't love him anymore, though. But she's grateful for his help and respects him (until the prologue). She was thinking about finally introducing MC to their father in one or two years.

EDIT: Arg, I forgot to say this, but I don't know if Leonor and Cordell will appear again or not. It's a maybe!

And don't worry about the long ask, I love them!

#ask away! #from lon to you #lore funfacts

[aroace-moron]

WARNING: this is very much a vent. I mention bullying, forced hospitalization and (very vaguely) a suicide attempt. Take care.

Also! I get sappy about a kids cartoon. The horror!

I... I can't believe the Owl House is over.

I know it sounds clichee (but who cares about cringe, right?) but it feels like I'm saying goodbye to a giant part of myself. I was this hurt, little kid, lying in a bathtub at 14 years old and trying to make it all end.

And now, I don't know who I am. But I think this show helped me figure it out, or send me on the way to do so.

I'm no longer suicidal, or in danger of hurting myself. I would love to say I don't care about categorizing myself to make it all make sense anymore, but I do. I think that categorizing will always be a big part of how I work.

The person I was two years ago is completely unfamiliar to me. They don't seem, well, real, somehow.

I started watching this show in the summer of 2021, meaning I got to it around the time of season 2A. I was hurt, trying to claw my way out of the trauma of being bullied all my life, trying to end said life and being hospitalized by people who didn't care at all about me and just hoped it would somehow make me fit into society.

I didn't even realize that I hurt others in the process. When people tell me stories about how I acted back then, I can't believe that they are actually talking about me. It's like I was under some kind of veil, locking me away from the world. I was so focused on getting better and fixing me how I thought was right, that I didn't notice what I was actually doing.

And then suddenly, there was this show about a stupid kid that couldn't let go of their fantasies about how life was supposed to be.

A kid that had never really fit in.

A kid that had to stop and think about how their choices were affecting others, who had to learn and grow and heal, and suddenly, there was a literal light at the end of the fucking swamp I had found myself in.

It was like Luz offered me her hand so we could both find the way out together. And I took it.

The Owl House was my first hyperfixation after spending years stuck in survival mode, and it felt so good to just be myself.

To squeal excidedly about new episodes and fanart and edits, to write fanfics with questionable characterization and way too much gore, that might have been objectively bad, but ultimately helped me to get where I am now and that still get a lot of love (to my surprise).

Trying to understand a character so I could portray them right led to me trying to understand the people around me so I could stop simple conversations with my sibling ending in a screaming match.

It was so easy to forget that everyone has minds of their own, but just like I had to figure out how Hunter would react to loosing everything he had ever had, I had to figure out how to react to my family loosing me.

Because they did loose me. Even if I didn't die in that bathtub, they lost the child they had raised and were suddenly confronted with this strange teenager, staring into their faces with empty eyes and screaming that they didn't understand ANYTHING because how could they possibly do so.

And suddenly, it's 2023 and the Owl House is over.

Time is passing, whether I want it to or not. Luz found her place in the world.

I think I'm finally ready to find my own.

.

Also, her maybe sort of titan look was awesome as hell. I want to highfive her so baaaaaaad.

#vent #the owl house #I KIN THE WEIRD OWL KID AND I AM PROUD OF IT DANG IT! #tw sui attempt #tw bullying #luz noceda #kicking that depression repeatedly into the stomach while it's already lying on the ground. #with the power of friendship #and also this gun I found #should I tag my autism?

[exozero]

It's here if you ever want to read it. I explain some of myself here, my history, but let me stress that none of it is me justifying or excusing anything, I just can't speak honestly about my own brain in those situations without referring to the events which I was thinking about constantly at that time. They're part of who I am, particularly part of who I was, I hope, but I'm not a domino, and my actions were my own. Above all, I hope sincerely for your health.

I'm realizing in the writing of this how petty all ny mental lineages are, and must seem. I don't know how much detail is appropriate, how much you care to know, since I obviously want to deliver what would be the most helpful, if that's anything at all. I also would like to be liked by you, but know that that is unfair to ask. Whatever my reasons, you were hurt, so I suppose I'm hoping that by just leaving this here, you'll only come upon it if you're curious, and you're free to message me or to never let me know that you've read it, which keeps it as something only you can give value to. I'm really sorry if this missed the mark or seems self-indulgent. Every time I caught myself trying to couch my language in comfortingly ambiguous corpo-type-speak, I tried to go the other way without crucifying myself (unfairly). I tried not to edit it as well.

Hey ,

I read it. I would look once in a while at your blog and your main account, mostly out of a lingering grimy feeling I've discussed in therapy and have not understood fully until now. Our dynamic, even with sex set aside, was exciting and with a (false, unearned) sense of security it felt as if we had this uninterruptable momentum, and I absolutely overly romanticized and let myself explain away actions I'd previously had considered necessitated, at the least, a long conversation with future precautions. I was rash and reckless and did away with the kind of getting-to-know-one-another time I generally find necessary to feel comfortable doing half of what we did so soon, and as the dominant within the dynamic I invited you to place your trust in me and you suffered for it, and for that I will always be sorry. My lack of care was awful and I fucking hate that you were saddled with the pain and confusion which goes along with having such an inconsiderate, uncommunicative partner.

What you've written is one of the most important things I'll ever read. I hated how our last conversation played out, but again figured you'd just never want to hear from me. Maybe that was a selfish shortcut to letting myself forget, though it didn't work.

I'm truly, deeply happy to know how you understand and appreciate yourself, from the inside out, though I hate only reaching this knowledge by seeing I've hurt someone I think so highly of.

You're right, I didn't understand. Over a longer time spent together I'd like to think I would have, with some luck, arrived at these conclusions, been able to be myself and allow you to be yourself fully and honestly, and to have grown more organically, if not while dating then as friends, and in a healthier and more holistic way.

Without a properly human process of un-coupling, where things might naturally arise, all we had was our word, and you said you wanted to be friends – and in a cruel fashion, I took that away from us. Not that it changes the impact of my actions, but I promise it did not come from any sense of dominance, but rather a past experience with someone I'd thought was just a friend. You, of course, did not deserve to be unknowingly linked to someone else's actions, I just didn't believe a joke (that was just a joke) was yet possible for us, and had a very old fear return of having to be on my guard at all times again, if we spent time alone together as friends. It's up to me to recognize and manage those triggers and I absolutely, abjectly failed. You have been nothing but the kindest and most giving person and I assigned to you qualities of the worst person I've ever known, and convinced myself I was doing you a favor by not stringing you along.

Aftercare also meant something utterly different to me, to be touched after sex something I felt (felt, rather than thought. Stupid) everyone needed to be eased into, as I thought I did. I approached it nervously because that was when I felt most vulnerable. When we got high and climbed into bed and you looked down on me and embraced my head and torso it felt wonderful and real, and I felt known in your casual grab of me, but I was also doing all I could to not shove you away. I was in that post-sex headspace despite us only lying, and ------ it's not so important. obviously I should have just asked more often, you always responded so positively, of course. idiot.

I don't have the best memory, but I know I never felt that you needed me, and I have always enjoyed that. I've never deeply enjoyed a person romantically if I felt they needed me, and I'm sorry we didn't establish a bedrock upon that fact first, that fact of mutual self-governance. I'd always felt we were spending time together because we got along, because we had a good time, and meeting your friends was nice because you and they are nice, but I had no other motives in regards to them. I've reread everything and can see how some messages to a friend were overly friendly. I had a limited circle in the city and admittedly spent too much time on instagram. They posted about their mother, mine had recently revealed she'd renewed ties with my abuser. And maybe I didn't make it clear enough that I wasn't dissing anyone's partner, but I had no idea they were dating, thought he was a cool local act since I'd met him briefly that day. Texting isn't talking, so it would have been smarter to apologize instead of just walk it back as I did. I get why, now seeing your view especially, an in the light of it all together, it would seem wrong, and explains why he was so odd when I was shopping a bit ago. Step one in seduction is generally not to insult someone's partner they're clearly head over heels for.

Freshest is the embarrassment of reading back our latest texts and seeing how I let myself go on, even while knowing how poorly I was representing how I truly felt, being short in the face someone trying to understand such basic moments of miscommunication, because... what? I hadn't slept in a day? I'd have had a coffee if I hadn't been loathe to confront a roiling mass of guilt as to how it all had ended. Horrible feeling, knowing you're in the process of allowing another part of your life infect and destroy a relationship with someone far better than decent.

Looking back lately, that has felt like its own singular regret, a last missed chance at communicating sincerely, and I remember the exact moment I chose to become defensive, a consciously destructive impulse. I've never been happier the next day for having chosen that one, but I can't imagine the disappointment and frustration you must have felt.

Nothing about this is satisfying, thanks to my actions, and probably won't ever be. I feel the urge to tell you more and more and more about myself, to make clear I'm not am egomaniac and did deeply care for you, but it's hard to reconcile the internal echoes with external effects, it feels like there's a step missing somewhere between them, and while I want to rectify it I think if I allow this to grow it'll become increasingly useless and unhelpful, self-pitying as well as self-loathing. The only real edits I've made have been to my sob stories, trying to keep my ego out of it. I want to be clear that I'm not at all saying it's all because I was myself hurt in some way... the goal is to be useful, and to be understood, to be usefully understood, understood usefully, but that use is just for you. You know my actions towards you and you know how they impacted you, but i can only imagine the only thing I can possibly do at this point is to give you all of the facts I have that you don't have access to yet, so that you're armed with a fuller behavioral picture of a part of the world which affected you moving forward. It's something I'd have wanted, but I don't think I'd have cared if I'd received this after so long.

I hope I learned something. I hope I was useful.

I'll post this here in the hopes you see it, and keep the account on, but it'll be dead. I don't want you to feel watched in any way – you have a right to your anonymity, and I'll leave you to it.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi Goldy, it’s been awhile…where have you been? This is an appreciation post for your blog. I love your write ups, thought process and inputs so much because it makes the most sense to me. There are times when I watch a moment and notice some things, i search a lot of blogs but their takes are different from what I perceive because I sometimes view things from a different perspective and then I come here and I’m justified that at least one person is sharing the same brain cells with me. When your predictions becomes reality it gives me joy and I think in order to do that then it means you connected with the boys on a personal level and see them as humans not fictional characters. I enjoyed going through your posts dated way back because I’m a new Army…it gave me the most joy and I connected with the boys more personally and your long write ups are da bombs😍😍.

Ps: Don’t abandon us here 🙏🙏. Visit us once in awhile with a lengthy post so I can grab my peanuts and sip my juice while settling for a long and enjoyable read.

Stuuuhpp! You giving me the Sugas☺☺☺

Believe it or not I come here everyday 🤣🤣🤣🤣

And thank you ☺ my posts are like that. Those who get it get it. Those who don't don't.

I might have to go through my Ask box for prompts. I've been binging old content and so far I haven't come across anything I haven't opined on. If anyone here has a theory, submission, take, Ask, please feel free to leave em in my inbox.

In the mean time, if I do come across anything interesting- by that I mean anything I find exciting- nothings gonna stop me from talking about it 🤣🤙🏾

I'm just at a place where everything Hybe does annoys me and I am not happy with the direction anything is going. I feel this is a make or break moment and they are just messing up big time. Or may be I just have to trust the process but if they don't bombard me with content soon, I might have to break into the vaults at Gybe headquarters and steal some disks.

Forget doing Solo projects one by one, do it all at once, confuse the shit out of me, make it hard for me to choose whom to support first, overwhelm me, squeeze me for all my penny, I wanna go broke and bankrupt, my sell my property and live on the streets.

Do you know how disappointed I was to find out Jungkook going camping was all staged and not as spontaneous and autonomous/ entirely free willed as I thought it would be- when the director asked him to go get food for just content I stopped watching the video. It took me some days to get back to it.

Also yes, we all thought we heard Jimin laugh in there somewhere. It was strange. Didn't know a lot of people sounded like other people. Never mind me.

With this DraKoola project, I think I'm falling in love with Jungkook 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I just might go on a YN self insert spree and edit myself into all and any Jikook intimate moments. If the bimbos can do it, I can do it too.

How sexy is it than when JUNGKOOK SAID THE CONCEPT HE WANTED WAS SPECIFICALLY VAMPIRE THEMED. HOW SELXY IS THAT!!!!!!!!!

Jungkook is legit my guardian angel. My quarterback. Not sure if he was inspired by the seven fate project or the many vampire edits of him or all those prude and stuck up sanctimonious fans who moon walked into my comments and wrote ignorant bigoted disparaging posts about me for making twilight references comparing Jungkook to a vampire- since I'm delusional I'll go with the latter😌

Dude became a vampire- LITERALLY. HOW👏🏾ABOUT👏🏾THAT👏🏾

The bit about the darkening of his soul- WHOAH🤯🤯

Blew my mind to the heavens. HOW DEEP IS THAT!

I hope this is connected to something much bigger than just a simple art concept to sell photos 😐

Jungkook is a creative genius. If he came up with this concept on his own, I promise you it didn't come to him in a vacuum and is intricately and inextricably linked to all arts he is created even if it is on a subconscious level. I can't wait to dissect that shit.

I hate that we have to wait for the others one after the other and wish they released it all at the same time. Going solo means seven things can happen at once in different ways.

Making us wait for their turns feel much like OT7 which is one of the things that frustrated me to begin with with the whole OT7 agenda. I mean if they worked under different labels I don't think they would care who went first or not and they would do things concurrently not consecutively 🤷.

It seems Hybe is trying to eliminate competition amongst them while making sure they each get Army's full and undivided attention- but I think FUCK THAT SHIT. LET THEM COMPETE FOR OUR ATTENTION HUNGER GAMES STYLE.

KEEP THEM ON THEIR TOES. CHALLENGE THEM SO THEY CHALLENGE THEMSELVES.

PAINT THE FANDOM RED WITH THEIR BLOOD. QUIT PLAYING IT SAFE.

This is their youth. With the way they gave us crap about aging these past few years, I don't expect they waste time doing nothing at all. Keep them busy busy busy. If they burn out good. Good. They can rest when they can no longer move their bones.

Anyway, I'm bored. Hybe is boring😴

TOO SLOW 🐌 FOR ME

Thank you for this. You are nice. Keep going.

ALSO, HOW IS JIMIN NOT RELEASING THE YOU ARE NICE KEEP GOING MERCH ALREADY🤕

I REALLY CAN DO BETTER THAN HYBE.

I'm gonna spam Jimin's account until he creates this shirt. And that bracelet 🥲 I've never wanted to commit grand robbery in my life.

Also I think I found Jimin"s secret tiktok account😆

Namjoon needs to come on Vlive often😔

I don't post often these days because all I have is a bunch of complaints and I will just end up bashing and cussing @ HYBE if I opened my mouth🙃

GOLDY

[opinated-user]

you never proved the sankaku accounts from before were lily's

you never proved the ewhatever account was hers

this newly discovered account isn't privated like it would be if it were actually hers and she was trying to hide it

you can't groom an audience

liking stuff in fiction is not the same as liking it irl so even if all of these were actually hers it wouldn't mean anything. fiction is not reality. i want to marry captain picard, that doesn't mean i chase down old men in the streets

my understanding that she's just joking about sex and talks about it sometimes doesn't make her a predator isn't some gotcha against lily that means she's a pedophile

calling trans people you don't like pedophiles is gross

when even the other people who have mindless grudges against a trans indigenous woman think you're crazy, reassess your arguments. if your fellow bigots think you're off the rails it's more likely that you're off the rails than it is that everybody else is wrong and you're the sole beacon of truth

in order for lily to actually groom someone she'd need to talk to them one on one extensively and actually most lily fans i know get total silence from her if they reach out or at best one brief conversation

gee isn't it interesting that when straight guys do everything lily does it's not grooming but when a trans non-white person does it it's suddenly grooming and when they do it it's not pedophilia but when she does it's 100% pedophilia

i hope you know the only reason i'm not blocking you is because the more time you spend here it's less time that you're with LO. 1. i never said we did. i said that LO has acted highly suspicious since the accounts came out and the timing of them finding out with being eliminated or privated was noteworthy. a troll or an innocent user wouldn't have done that. 2. that actually LO confirmed herself by tangling herself on a bunch of lies that were also debunked before (with IP adresses included).

3. LO's twitter is still privated and was privated literally hours after Brittany posted that first anon. interesting timing, don't you think? 4. you can. how do you think that cults are formed? 5. if 3D hyperealistic porn of little children made by people who uses real childre as references was actually the kind of content that LO enjoys in private... i do find that worth the conercing. almost as much as you thinking that can be compared with you wanting to marry a fictional character. 6. your understanding is wrong. she's primming you to accept sexual behaviour from her so you, or other minors on her audience, won't see anything wrong when she does become more directly predatory. hiding something behind "jokes" doesn't mean they're okay things to do or say. 7. if we didn't had any evidence or reason to believe they're a danger to anyone, indeed, it would be wrong. but calling out someone that has been exhibiting to be an abuser and manipulative predators for years is only fair, regardless of their identity. many of the people she has lied about and hurt were trans. are you going to advocate for them in front of LO? 8. people having disagreements is a normal part of human interaction. i know that hanging around LO might make you forget that since she treats all disagreement as harassment but out there in the real world people talk about things all the time. it's not the gotcha you think it is. 9. no. 10. straight guys have done the same things as LO and you know what happened to them? their platform got shut down and have dozens of videos talking about their misdeeds. if anything it's remarkable that LO has been so gross so openly for so long and yet, very few videos have actually dare to call her out. i wonder if people so willing to use her identity as a shield with her approval, might have something to do with that? edit: had to correct mistake. the favourites are still there, i just payed attention to the bottom part that said "no matching posts" and not the actual favourites.

#lily orchard

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

#why can't it be global cooling instead of global warming.. what if everything was just ice and I was comfortable and happy all year around #heat also sometimes gives me like a.. mild situational claustrophobia (like not a place that you are confined in/can't escape #but more an environmental factor that's all consuming. Like when there's fires and smoke fills the sky for days and it's like no matter #where you are you could never get away from it unless you're locked inside shut off from the entire world. if you need a breath #of fresh air or are feeling too confined you no longer have the option of going outside. it's all toxic. etc.) #Or like part of why I hate long car rides is for that reason. If I'm 3 hours away from home there is no way for me to get home #other than to ride 3 hours back. If I suddenly decided I really would rather be home I could not get home quickly. the 3 hours #to get home is an inescapable barrier. No matter how sick I started feeling or how bad things are and how much I wish I was comfortable #and safe at home - the only way to get there is to get there. you knowwhat I mean lol? I can't just be home in 20 minutes #it's a 3 hour ride or nothing. etc. etc. Like if you're on a ship in the middle of the ocean and suddenly just desperately decided you need #to be back on land. there isn't anything you can do. nothing will get you back on land but to stay on the ship and travel the hours it take #to get there. there's no quick exit. No way out that isn't doing the thing you already really don't want to be doing anymore (being in a ca #r or being in a ocean or etc. No alternative route but to just suffer the situation longer). idk.. if that makes sense?? #so with the heat sometimes it's like.. it's hot INSIDE and it's hot OUTSIDE and it's hot everywhere you go theres no escape #from it and nothing you can do but just.. be hot. no matter how desperate you are to just BE COLD even for a few minutes #you simply don't have the option. The only way to get cool again is to just wait out the hot weather. You can yearn for the feeling of a #cool breeze all you want but abdolutely nothing will get you colder than just to be miserable in place and wait for the passage of time. #I always get that feeling in the summer like after five 90+F degree days in a row you're like AAAAAAAAAA #JUST AN ESCAPE JUST A QUICK ESCAPE DEAR LORD ' and then 5 minutes later like 'hee he. no its fine. haha. im actually so okay #with my situation i am coping.' short bursts of heat induced frantic anxiety with some resigned calm in between ghjgj #ANYWAY. yes every year I complain about the same thing. I am a hater and a complainer first and foremost ggh.. I love to be honest and #express my thoughts and opinions. I think way too many people are so reserved and repress everything for the sake of like social etiquitte #or personal insecurity (like owrrying they're being annoying or talking too much or that novody cares what they say etc.) #and then that ends up causing passive agression and communication issues and resentments that boil under the surface for years because they #re never adequately expressed. I don't think complaining is an inherently negative thing and it's weird to me that people react so #like it's some sort of moral thing to be against it. Like of course within reason. don't complain to the point that you appreciate #none of the good things around you or like where you start bullying people or something. but broadly speaking. being able to express your #concerns and thoughts in small bursts easily and openly and release some of that tension is better than just holding onto it all and having #it come out larger later or making you internally miserable or etc.. ANYWAY.. yeaghh.. hate heat.. hopefully done with painting soon.etc. #daily log

[variousqueerthings]

its taking so much self control not to search for all the messy trap, BJ, and hawk fics (that I hope exist!). also that bridget jones video is amazing, its so easy to forget how awkward real life fighting actually is lol. Im picturing BJ as darcy and trap as cleaver. side note, I also read your hawk/lyle and it was honestly so good, well written and soo hot!

oh hai, I didn't see you there!

EDIT: So this is not what your ask is about and I'm sorry, I went on a post-finale watching tangent, I apologise for not being funny anymore, even though the original post was light-hearted. GFA spoilers

*

It's funny, because now I've seen the finale, I feel like I need to wallow for a bit in the version of the story in which BJ and Hawkeye never see each other again.

It's got that sweet, sweet bitterness to it.

It's also funny, both my flatmate and my partner -- although I will hazard not to put words in their mouths -- are, let's say, not fond of BJ, because, well... he does many a highly questionably thing in response to the Horrors, especially to Hawkeye, but to me at least that ending, it's very much offering a final understanding of that character that softens him just a tad (to me, my feelings).

He undoubtedly, unthinkingly, several times messes up with Hawkeye within those two hours alone (which is worse: bringing up babies to the guy who's just had a breakdown brought on by the death of a baby, or leaving without a note, possibly knowing some element of the way that Trapper left, if not the entire thing???)

And then when Hawkeye, in a particularly harrowing way, reaches out to him (what would you do if I were bleeding out in your arms -- paraphrased) he brushes it off, because he's steadily become more depressed and therefore self-centred in how he gets through it all, and has used Hawkeye to project more than been able to look at him directly, to absorb any of Hawkeye's pain on top of his own. And here's Hawkeye invoking the most terrible, final goodbye he can think of, and BJ runs away from it. It's terrible!

And then!

And then he does it!

He does the one thing that Hawkeye asked of him, in the way he could do it. He left him a note. He made it as big as possible. He said the only thing that really needed to be said in it: goodbye.

Is it enough? After all of that? Maybe that's not really what the question can be (after all, a better man is not what Hawkeye's ever asked for from him, and in many ways BJ's bitterness about being a replacement for Hawkeye's pain about Trapper is not unfounded either -- the projection goes both ways, even if one is more overtly aggressive).

But he did it.

It's funny too, I was saying around s10 that I was really missing the big gestures of s7 -- I have yet to confirm on this my second watch (and feel free to let me know if there is an example I've forgotten), but I don't think BJ ever does anything as big for Hawkeye as he does in s7ep2, that sort of declaration, it was gargantuan in its scale and continued to exist in metaphor in those faded, pink pieces of clothing BJ kept for most of the rest of the show. I confess I missed the moment they were no longer there, but I believe at least not throughout the entirety of Goodbye, Farewell and Amen.

And this was a gesture, it was the thing I'd been wondering about the absence of and missing, and hoping BJ might in some way find it in himself to return to -- to not be so blinded by what he thinks he needs (to keep his eyes firmly on home and Peggy and Erin), but to value what he's had here, to value Hawkeye enough to grant him that goodbye.

SO after all of that thinking about BJ and Trapper potentially meeting (and tbh I think once I'm past this initial stage of just... sitting with the finale for 5 to 100000 business days, I will go back to thinking about it, the scenario is fantastic), I am currently, as it turns out in reaction to that ending, far more focused on the importance of goodbyes.

#❤ anon #❤ alan alda #i do apologise for this i dont control the brain #bj hunnicutt #trapper mcintyre #hawkeye pierce #MASH #this is not about *redemption* or anything trite like that -- it's not about if bj is essentially good enough or not for hawkeye #it's that they were both very broken and they allowed themselves in the last moment to offer healing to one another #just a smidgeon... #goodbye farewell and goodbye #MASH season 11 #I PROMISE I WILL ANSWER TO THE ACTUAL ASK AT SOME PONIT #POINT* #OH ALSO I WENT BACK AND JUST REREAD YOUR ASK: THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT TOO #hi I'm... like this.... #it's quite late apologies for any errors #long post #ive watched MASH

[genericswordsmaiden]

Watched the 1981 RAI adaptation of "the silver key" and...

It has an extremely slow pacing. It opens with an introduction in which a discount version of Leeman Kessler impersonates Lovecraft. Basically he fell asleep in 1928, waking up only several years later and then deciding to introduce himself by recounting the exact same words one can find in one of his self portraits. ("I was born in 1890. When I was two I already knew the alphabet, I could read very well by the time I was four but I still messed up long words; I write, and my mother was the only one who believed in my abilities as an artist" etc, etc) Y'know, the thing one would usually do: "hi my name is hpl and I don't like talking about myself but I'll proceed to waste five whole minutes of your life by talking incredibly slowly about my childhood and my ideologies". For God's sake, the actor playing him, who also plays Randolph, is not even italian and believe me when I tell you that if there's something, anything that makes my nerves go [redacted] is hearing someone speak my language in an uncannily broken way, but mostly without any hint of emotion. Side note: I appreciate immensely when people go out of their way to learn Italian, it makes me so happy like "oh yesss!! i know it's difficult but I also know you can do it!! Thank you for the efforts you're putting in it, I'm proud of u!!!" When there's a foreign actor acting in an italian production, usually, they get a voice actor to dub the scenes they're in. It sadly didn't happen in this case. Another side note: for some reason I often imagine Hpl with a tone of voice similar to that of Roberto Chevalier, who dubbed Tom Cruise in the majority of his movies, and also David Bowie. Don't ask why.

Another big problem is the script. The movie is basically an audiobook: discount-Hpl narrates with the emotion and expression of an ancient broken coffee grinder, while the scenes play out almost silently. Few characters talk, and when they do it's often extremely forced, like the scriptwriters basically did copy and paste with some quotes of the original story. Some scenes are set in Rome, which is always good to see. In one, Carter walks along the Tiber river. (oh yeah baby, Tiber is the new Miskatonic!) Some shots are actually pretty nice, some are even memeable. Might make gifs out of 'em later. Anyway I'm still at half of the movie, I hope I'll find some actually redeeming qualities about this.

Edit: I finished it, and no. It has no redeeming qualities. Except old Benjamin, his actor is the only one who expressed something through acting. Also Randolph meets himself when he was a child??? That wasn't in the original as far as I remember. And when he decides to go to the cave with the key to "go back", small Randolph says "don't forget the scroll, or else you'll transform! And then coming back will be difficult." And, the transformation part - isn't that what happens in "Through the gates of the silver key"? I read it a long time ago so I may be mistaken tho

In short, my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. I had hoped with all my soul it would at least be decent... I guess I'll go and listen to some music, I need to distract myself and forget the awful acting.

#lovecraft #the silver key #randolph carter #claire rambling about stuff