#i hope they have a great life lmao

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe #hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao #anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)... #i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect. #a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them #it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence #it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people #and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit #i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on #while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning #i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow #like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross #if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life #i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3

[carpathiians]

very late happy new year wish from me to you 🎆

#they had a fun time #john is going through it #he doesnt have his scars yet bc this would have to take place before rdr2 to make sense i think #this drawing isnt the greatest but like. its not very serious lmao #wanted to do something on time but just couldnt. #new years eve fucking killed me i had the worst hangover of my life and then i slept for almost two days #but its ok now im alive we move on #2023 had some highs for me. but some very low lows. all i dare to hope for now is that things calm down lol #but to everyone else — hope your 2024 is great <3

[deus-ex-mona]

real talk: lxl should continue to explore romance fantasy concepts in their songs. it’s clearly working for them~

#typical prince aesthetics in romeo/julieta and nonfan… and now historical rofan in meoto… #(and there’s also whatever’s going on in tsuki no hime but that has no mv :( sadge) #sorry guys i still have meoto on the brain pls suffer with me~~~~~~~~~ #but mannnnn. i was struck by sudden inspiration for a meoto au a n d #well. ig now i understand why they skipped over the falling in love phase. romance is hardddd #i want to subscribe to the meoto expansion pack p l s i need to know what their deal is~~~~ #bc man. how in the world did they go from complete indifference to promising to stay together forever hello #what happened???????? excuse??????????? #man. m a n. ok i think im done for the night. i hope #LXL MEOTO CRISIS 2K24 #(but if anyone here wants to get into the otome isekai genre in general… i recommend starting off with ✨s u r v i v i n g r o m a n c e✨ #(it’s a great story and it’s still modernised enough to ease into the genre. and after that…) #(you can just go for the series with the most interesting premise/prettiest art/both tbh) #(though i personally recommend ✨the perks of being an s class heroine✨ ✨the villainess’s stationery shop✨ for milder content) #(and there’s also some series with both isekai and regression.) #(like they isekai after their 1st life in 20xx-> live out their 2nd life in the fantasy world -> regress to a point in their 2nd life) #(for that type i kinda like ✨i shall master this family✨ though ngl i’m mostly reading it bc i think the aunt is very pretty) #(a nd there’s the occasional modern regression story but that’s pretty soap drama-esque and the one i read got ridiculous at times lmao) #(but ofc the ones with less romance focus are fun too~~~~ like stories with multiple isekai-ed people for one) #(b u t i digress i think i’ll stop here before i lose the plot any longer ahaha~~~~)

[todayisafridaynight]

Share Mine notes please I beg (and on the arakawa fam if you have the timefkfd)

forgive me if these are messy as all fuck i'm not good at making notes BUT here's everything i generally keep in mind when drawing mine and hijikata + the reference sheets i look at when drawing them :)

arakawa family notes + references below:

(more notes about aoki + sawashiro's faces ft. ikumi here)

#snap chats #edit: THANK YOU TEN FOR FINDING MY ASK FOR ME LITERAL LIFE SAVER !!!!!! #you POSITIVELY HAVE TO click these open to see anything #it probably wouldve been worth something if i actually /drew/ them on these sheets too to demonstrate the notes but.. #please let it slide we've seen me draw them all plenty of times.. except mitsu sorry king you'll get your time i promise #i tried to just keep this General to the face but like. at some point i said 'ok maybe its important to mention how i do hair' #i have plans to play all 326 shadow the hedgehog endings and when i saw i got this ask i JUST finished one #so this was def a great break from that for a while LMAO #anyway.. i hope these are helpful in some way #they were fun to make regardless :) #i love how i made notes for ichi even tho. i dont draw ichi the same LMAO BUT IT IS STUFF I THINK ABOUT SO #WORTH WRITING #if you have any questions or want me to explain anything more i'd be happy to do so ! #i always feel like im missing points whenever im explaining stuff so im forcing myself to just post these before i go insane #i have about 316 more endings to get through after all....

[lecliss]

Had a conversation last night with someone about the two times I've ever dated and I realized that when it comes to the first guy in middle school who came out as gay after like two weeks, he was probably using me as a beard cuz at one point he called me with his mom and had me tell her we were dating but cuz of anxiety it took several minutes for me to actually say it but that was likely him trying to convince her like "Hey I've got a girlfriend, see I can't be gay!" and like, homophobia from his mom aside, that's really fucking funny that I was a beard without knowing it and like six years later I ended up being a gay guy myself.

#he ended up having to move schools cuz i guess his mom thought that would fix the whole gay thing but it obviously didnt and that like. #sucks that his moms a scumbag and idk what #kinda conversation they had going on between him breaking up with me and him moving schools but like. man i feel bad for him #i met him again years later and he smoked a cigarette in the creek then left the butt in the water DESPITE THAT VERY MUCH NOT BEING A COOL #THING TO DO. so like. turns out hes not a great guy actually. i at least hope his moms not in his life if she still sucks. #personal #btw no im not hurt at all if he really was JUST using me as a beard. which is highly likely. nobody feel bad for me please lmao #and looking back on it. my only date with him was at his church so that lines up too. idk what he was probably catholic or christian

[camgoloud]

who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night

#literally nothing bad even happened to me personally today cannot emphasize this enough #i just read one too many of the Wrong wikipedia articles during the period after the sun went down at fucking 4 pm or whatever and then #my brain just decided it was time to replay the biggest hits of the great 2020-2022 depressive episode for fun i guess #and now i’m having. a series of moments. over a series of ridiculous things #again not even specific things that have actually happened to me just the whole vague existential dread deal i guess #truly i haven’t felt this shitty without some kind of direct cause for a year and half at this point #which is having the semi-beneficial side effect of reminding me to appreciate just how good my mental health has been recently #like. remember how i used to just feel like this all the time for. actually most of my life Until a year and a half ago? damn that’s crazy #i hope i snap out of this lmao i really cannot deal with walking into the holidays as a hollow shell of a person #but i think i’ll be fine tomorrow actually pretty sure i’m just kind of sleep deprived after this week #caseyposting

[an-theduckin]

Wait shit people might actually care about me

#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw #hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that! #mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha #but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit #texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text #cuz she sent three seperate texts) #and i was just. so flabbergasted at that #i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone #i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that #i thought theyd just be indifferent to it #also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears #and i just. wow. #people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me #ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way #i saw myself #really and truly i love you guys so much #even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock #anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better #life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now #at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity #thank you all for everything :') #man i need a hug rn lmao #tw vent #tw sui implied #tw sui ideation #tw self loathing #tw self destructive behavior #<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore #if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd #love youu <33

[hua-fei-hua]

at church reading the hymn lyrics like "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and "hey i learned that word from translating song lyrics so that i could write genshin fic!" and "hey i learned that word from genshin!" and finally "omg i learned that word from the king's avatar"

#花話 #it's funny bc i Objectively know more cn than the last time i was here seven years ago which is great #bc the last time i learned any cn in a classroom was seven years ago lol #and i think that's probably a combination of Very Much Not Wanting To Lose What Skills I Have +gnshn n similar giving me occasional practice #but yeah of the words i Remember where i learned them it's like 85% gnshn 14% lyric translation n 1% king's avatar lmao #been trying to connect my laptop to the mobile hotspot i have here and Suffering(tm)... pain and agonie #i mentioned this on main but apparently i just Cannot have a line acct for w/e reason #(i suspect it's bc i made an acct in america on my phone number but temp sim card --> diff phone number here) #(and since i didn't expect this i didn't tie the acct to an email --> i am unable to have line) #however my mother and i have graduated past emails and are now just using regular texting to communicate it seems #ANYWAY i get to see the jade cabbage today. i hope. and other things i also hope!! #i was going somewhere w/the line thing OH it's bc on the way home from church my mom saw a sign that said 元氣 and was like 'genki desu!' #it is always kind of a surprise to hear my mom speak jp bc it sounds simultaneously clumsy and full of confidence #she has friends in japan (college roommate + old pen pal + i have no idea she's lived Quite a life i feel) n i once found her old letters #and was kind of surprised bc they were like entirely in jp so obviously she could read n understand a lot #but anyway my mom went on to talk abt how taiwan continues to have significant japanese influence to this day n i was like yes... weebs c': #it's also interesting bc we'll go sightseeing n she'll be like “ye that's from american/jp occupation times but they gave back the land' #'so now it's xyz' n i'll be like. almost 'tails.jpg A Colonialism.'

[kai-atlantis]

So...

Apparently I have a fucking bird now

#it's a baby starling #it's sick but it's like 4 weeks old and tbh it kinda loves me i think #like it preens in front of me and perched on my shoulder and baby squawked when I sang to it cause it still can't chirp just yet #🥹 #it's a divine gift i guess cause uh... i wanted a bird lmfao #and now i literally have one #this is my life now #hoping to make a lil fundraiser for it #it's name is Artemis #Artemis the Starling #it's sleeping in the nest i made it atm curled up to a hot water gallon lmao #i literally grow berry plants lmao so this lil birb is literally gonna have its own strawberry plant #spoiled already jeez #yes i contacted a rehabber but starlings are invasive and wont be taken in F #anyway my bff is a vet and former bird owner so her advice is great until i take this lil guy to an aviary vet #she said he looked cozy soo 😅 #I HAVE A BIRD

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Every so often on the subreddit or on insta people laugh about how Rose and Blanche are so sexual and kinky and Dorothy is so uptight and vanilla and not to take fiction too seriously but uuuugh she spent 38 years with the same man, who was cheating on her wnd only having sex with her rarely - sex that she didn't enjoy or look forward to, if you listen to her descriptions of her first time Stan at best pressured her and at worst raped her via alcohol and roofies, she's from an immigrant Catholic household and has been shames for decades over her sex life/pregnancies and then her lack of sex life, made to feel ugly and undesirable since she was young, and there's significant subtext around her being a closeted lesbian. Seriously, when you pay attention it's wild realising that the queer jokes about the girls are very different: Blanche's are sexual, in line and based around her being promiscuous and just enjoying the physical act. Rose's are indirect and usually coming off of a joke about one of the others. Dorothy is literally just outright repeatedly assumed or implied to be gay.

Anon, I have to say, I was very perplexed by this message -- not because of what you say (which I agree with completely!!) but because Dorothy... really isn't uptight about sex? If anything, she strikes me as particularly liberal about it, even at the start of the series. She can be a bit shy about it, I guess, but that makes perfect sense with her personal history, as you have detailed.

I wonder if the subreddit remembers that she had a relationship with a married man in S1E14, That Was No Lady? And when she talks about sex with him in that episode, she says stuff like:

"It's amazing that I just made love in the daylight. [...] Well, you can't hide anything in the daytime. At night, I could be Godzilla, you'd be thrilled.

[...]

And everything that I used to worry about in… you know, I didn't worry about with you. [...] Like, how do I look? How do I sound? Is my breath bad? What's jiggling?"

Which doesn't sound uptight at all, to me -- it sounds self-conscious, which is (once again) perfectly normal, considering everything she's been through. Let's remember she also had an emotionally abusive relationship right before she got involved with Stan, and she wasn't a very popular kid/teenager in the first place! The poor woman's self-esteem has always been on the floor.

If anyone, Rose is the one who's somewhat prudish at the start of the series! We know she had a happy and active sex life with Charlie, but back in S1 she can't even say the word 'sex' (she says 'to be with a man in that special way'). She's remarkably shy when they talk about this kind of stuff. Hell, I watched S1E9 Blanche And The Younger Man yesterday, and she's scandalized about the idea of her mother having a relationship with a younger man -- not to mention her attitude towards her daughter's sex life in S2E7 Family Affair. If I had to pick one girl in the main cast to call 'uptight', it would be S1-S2 Rose. I'm not sure what the subreddit is on about.

Apart from all this, I also agree with what you say about the queer subtext and how it relates to the Girls, of course. I think the main type of queer joke in terms of frequency is the 'these three women live together and have a close bond' type, but Dorothy is definitely read as gay much more often than Rose and Blanche (even by her own mother!!). I often wonder what the writers would have done with her if the show had been made later; a self-recognition and coming-out story line would have been very in line with her journey as a character in the show as it is! Her story is all about learning to know herself, to love herself and to have confidence in herself, overcoming everything that's happened to her, and I feel like that's the kind of story that lends itself well to queer themes. Still, the show as it is allows for a lot of fan analysis and content on her, so I can't complain!

#i'm honestly really confused by the interpretation of dorothy as uptight. shy? yes. inexperienced? sure! but uptight? #i guess it's because she doesn't get around much? #but i mean... neither does rose? she has a stable boyfriend for all of seasons 5-7? and she doesn't date around much even before then #i guess everyone seems vanilla compared to blanche. but rose isn't kinky at all?? lmao?? am i missing something? #idk i mean. dorothy's had her fair share of physical relationships! glen is one example #but there was also that one episode with the guy everyone was attracted to #and she's fairly open about the fact that her sex life with lucas is great. they even named it! #so im really not sure where this comes from? she's a romantic and she prefers to have an emotional connection to people before the act #but that's a pretty normal approach to sex? doesn't seem uptight to me #sorry for spending so much time on this im just... really confused lmao #but your points on queer subtext are great too!! i very much agree! #oh btw: are you my lynnie greene friend? if you are i hope you're having a nice trip! #and if you're not i hope you're having a lovely day! #do send me more thoughts if you have them! i'd love to read them! #the golden girls #dorothy zbornak #ask

[thatgirlissopeculiar]

well, guess I can add 'fainting at a concert' to my life experiences lmao

#I saw Nothing But Thieves the other night and fainted nearish the end of the concert lmao #I'm fine #I'm fairly sure it's cause it was really fucking hot and stuffy where we were standing #and also I think I was a bit dehydrated #cause you can't take drinks in #and a bottle of water is like $5 which is so bullshit #I do wish I could have thanked the guy who was concerned about me when I came to though #he was really nice and was asking me if I was ok and if I needed water #but I didn't see him again after I got taken down to the little medic area #I hope he knows I appreciated his concern #it was a really great concert apart from that #A+ band would see again #real life shenanigans #julisa.txt

[inkykeiji]

Hi Clari! I saw the best headcanon for Vox and I wanted to drop in and share the brainrot. <3

Saw the idea that Vox has claw caps he can put on made of soft silicone that protect the sharp edges of his claws so he won’t hurt you while he’s touching you. He’d put them on so he could finger you and play with you without running the risk of hurting you in any way he doesn’t want. It’s just such a nice idea,,, and it would probably feel really good too. 🖤🖤🖤

- anon Spook! 👻

hi spook bb!!! <3 AH YES SO maisie (@sovya) actually brought this idea up a little while ago and while i do agree with you and think it’s a super sweet sentiment on his part (if he decides to wear them;; for some reason i feel like there’s a chance convincing him to wear them would be like pulling teeth, but i guess it rly depends on how important he deems u are to him; if he rly cares for you and your well-being and you’re significant and valuable to him he’s probably more inclined to do it for you, in private like u alluded to, because ‘what kind of man wears claw caps out, baby?’), i can’t help but giggle at the thought because they’re just like the caps you can get for your cats HEHEHE. also,, i personally really really really love his claws, so <33 i’d want em out and dangerous at all times (*/ω＼) i just think the danger and high level of risk that comes with them is very alluring and exciting, idk!!! i wonder if he sharpens them (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) that would be so sexy eeeee

#I'M SORRY I MAKE HIM A BIT OF AN ASSHOLE BUT LIKE #HE IS LMAO #HE ISSSSSSSS #anyway apologies i am a little Fucked Up #i completely see where you’re coming from though!!!! #it would be nice for him to be able to put those motherfuckers away so he can touch you properly without risk #especially in sensitive and intimate areas HAHAHA #but yeah it just makes me think of vox as a kitty #i'm just like 'oh you could end my life with one swipe of those across my neck??? sexy!!!' LMAO #i hope you're having a great wednesday spook!! #pls stay safe and stay hydrated!! <3 sending much love ur way!!! #inky.vox #inky.hazbin #spook.anon #clari gets mail

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[pavlovers]

actually nvm im not emo anymore 🤧

#will i ever be truly content with the ending ? no 💀 but ! everyone looks so cute nd im happy that my fav freaks are able to be silly :p #i have mixed feelings on chifuyu narrating this chapter tho lmao 😭😭 #i mean its great that he somehow remembers everything that michi went through nd their friendship wasnt lost #BUT I CANT GET OVER THAT LIKE. ONE TAKEHINA KISS PANEL AND ITS JUST HIS UGLY CRYING FACE AT THE BOTTOM 😭😭 #i kinda love that for him tho like shit make their day all about yourself king #i wouldn't have taken the whole takehina ending seriously either way #tokrev aint even about them at this point its about the collection of freaks takemichi collected along the way 😭 #what other thoughts can i put out there... #omg sanzu being an influencer is such a slay. i love how he looks exactly the same as he did in the bonten timeline #he just slays online now instead of yknow with a katana in real life ! #kazus adorable. izanas adorable #I LOVE THAT SOUTH IS JUST THERE. IDK HOW THEY MET IN THIS TIMELINE BUT FUCK IT YEAH HES INVITED WHY NOT #seeing timeskip mikey again just confirms my initial feelings towards manila mikey which is that he was ugly 😭 #IDK THE SHORT HAIR DOESNT SUIT HIM IMO 😭 I WAS HOPING THAT WAKUI WOULD GIVE HIM A NEW HAIRCUT THAT WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE #its ok tho im happy that hes actually happy ! and that the future he wanted with emma and draken and their baby came true 🥲 #WAHH THAT TOO 😭 THE FACT THAT THEYRE MARRIED AND EMMA IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR FIRST CHILD LITERALLY SOBBING 😭 #its what theyve deserved this whole time !!!! #what wakui did to naoto was a crime tho 😭 why does he look like thatttt #bring back detective naoto 😭 current naoto looks more homeless than takemichi that doesnt sit right with me 😭 #im rocking with long hair hanma. shuji just some guy hanma 💀 #wakui making mikey looking at takemichi like that the opening panel like we know what they are 🙄 just had to remind us #thats all i think... its finally over 😭 i may have my grudges but i truly loved reading this weekly for over a year it was so much fun 💗

[bejeweledmp3]

computer how do i stop feeling insecure on my writting so that can i write. computer please

#talking tag; #ok so. story time sure why not #today is my first day of uni and i had classes from 8.30 am to 11:45 which was. fine i was exhasuted but it was fine #and then i had to wait to meet some friends for lunch and i started writting and it just hit me that totp is actually over 50k words #and it's like brooooo i literally wrote a novel length fic (that's still not done btw! not close!) and for whattt who even has the time #to read something like that like why bother. it's not even (directly) about the main characters and i just #i'm afraid that i'm repeating myself i'm afraid that chracters are not being developed like i hoped they would i'm afraid that no one will #care and i'm also afraid that the people that do care won't like it #and then i met with my friends who study cinema and they bumped into people from their classes and i was just. #there listening to their conversations without interacting like what the FUCKKK am i doing here pretending that i fit in with the cool #cretive people and that my prose is any good at all #just. 50 thousand words of fanfiction and i'm worried that none of them are any good #but lately my motto is that i will figure it out so. i will figure it out #i did cry about it (lmao) which i'm counting as progress from the empty nothingness i felt around this time of year a year ago #but yeah man it sucks. totp is my baby but (just like kim lmao) my default is being hard on myself. i just can't not be #i think i'll write on my diary about this and then!!! we move on. oh well #i will finish totp that's a promise but yeah. today just hasn't been great i guess #and i have no one in my life to talk to about this so!!!!!! shouting into the void i guess

[deityofhearts]

anyways not to be dramatique but like I’m starting to feel slightly more grounded lately and like I’m allowed to be hopeful for things and like stuff is finally going to start looking up and it makes me happy enough to cry

#deity dialogue #things aren’t great and all my problems aren’t solved but I feel like I have a semblance of control over my future somewhat #and I’ve never felt that way before #I’m about to have a job I have plans for my future which feel more tangible now #I’m still gonna be super sad at times because that I simply inherent to my being rn but like #things are getting better I’m gonna get my shit together and be so happy and okay lmao #I just can’t wait for like life to feel like it’s worth living more and more #lmao #I’m never hopeful about things so it’s nice and scary to be even a little bit hopeful for the future