#i just cant make up my mind lol

[medicalunprofessional]

never change, man !

#phantom of the paradise #potp #swan potp #nightmaretheater #65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp #Look into my beautiful mind boy #Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw #but i had to push a specific look for this piece #hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look #Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan #I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That #as awful as he is he desperately needed help #it might seem like vanity on the surface #but i think its… more than that #long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry #It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again #i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems #he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away #anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him* #i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal #sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick #i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad #*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha #sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please #adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse #to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like #the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this #sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol

[puppyeared]

Been LOVING your lil magician folks recently please continue they're beautiful and very cute and cool and also very well-designed!! 🥺❤️

thank you for the kind words !!! im not much of a writer, but i do have some sort of story in mind for them.. theyre bitter rivals who end up as roommates bc of their scatterbrained elderly landlord lol

#idk how much of it im gonna keep or change but thats basically the gist of it ^_^ #i dont know if i could ever write a solid linear story bc im very indecisive and tend to change things a lot so most of what i make ends up #very abstract or nonlinear.. just short drabbles or stuff that can be slotted into a general setting or premise #although i do want to challenge myself to try and write some sort of enemies/rivals to friends because i have a huge weak spot for that #dynamic!! i tend to be a little soft on my characters which i think has to do with me being a conflict avoidant person. so maybe exploring #this kind of dynamic will help me experiment with my sense of storytelling. although i cant promise it will be written well lol #im also thinking of making their story part of a bigger world so kinda like an omnibus?? i have another story in mind i think i can fit int #the same canon and itd be funny if theres like a bunch of wacky going ons between different apartment tenants nichijou style #but we'll see!!! thank you for your interest in these little shits!!!! #my art #myart #my oc #oc #presto #shuffle #house of cards #oc talk #ask #doodles #yapping

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things #out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever #all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever #or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc. #especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple #and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already #done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and #all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you. #who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3 #my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster #talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo #I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache #or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop #e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all #sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef #t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of #way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I #think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i #gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!' #like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant #mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain #or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right #now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like #most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once #that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY #Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth

[carcarrot]

do i really want to make individual drinks again

#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe #in preparation for the possibility of this new job #it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly #but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much #not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers #godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible) #would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao #but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less #but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that #like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth: #2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know #a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home . #i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice #i dont knowwwwwww #like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks #which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here #and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff #its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options #so thats good. less to worry about #doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe #here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it #the hours are like. the same i work now. also good #sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts. #uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him #but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess??? #and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway #i just gotta see if i get good vibes #rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me #oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore #lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt

[skitskatdacat63]

And when I inevitably draw gunslinger, lone Ranger Fernando, you can all blame DC:

#DC OUT HERE MAKING AUS LMAO #he said gunslinger nando and my brain went “bet.” #idk if anytime soon? idk itd be cool to draw it but also i have a big paper due by sunday 😬 #so we shall see!!! #but he put the idea in my head and i cant just ignore it!!!! #has anyone watched blazing saddles? he would be gene wilder's character LMAO #old washed up man who still has incredible gunslinger speed that cant be defeated #HIM IN A BANDANA ON THE LOWET HALF OF HIS FACE #FERNANDO IN CHAPS #my mind going places dc never intended 😭😭😭😭 #if i do draw it. its gotta be like 'AU cred: David Coulthard' LOL #f1 #formula 1 #david coulthard #fernando alonso #2023 qatar gp #ref

[qualityrain]

you have to describe hny but u cannot mention or allude to worst toxic guy ever x innocent uwu girl trope and/or the super girlboss x pathetic guy she puts in his place dynamic or else the anvil will drop on your head

#im so tired r we even reading the same thing #claude txt #man idk why but its like most ppl cant comprehend a m/f ship without falling into ALPHA male or GIRLBOSS yk #which is so ???? Because like. hny is also abt societys gender roles and stuff…and like imo satoko and shinpei dont fit into it #which is (insane) so relatable actually the way satoko isnt “woman” enough because she wants to play outdoors and is decisive with goals #and shinpei isnt “man” enough with the way he listens to satoko and yk he doesnt mind wearing make up and he talks abt feelings so bluntly #like yk. im a girl. but not “girl” enough using what my fam/society thinks it should be #but also im not “boy” enough even when i say ohhh i would do so well as a seasian boy #so lol. im genderquer #anyway i think satoko and shinpei have unlocked gender dlc and when theyre tgt gender or societal expectations dont matter #they r not boy and girl they r just shinpei & satoko yk yk yk yk #anyway satoko and shinpei both contain multitudes

[3416]

the thing about the mitch talk that makes no sense is like. yes, an organization CAN get someone to waive their nmc by saying they're not going to pay what he wants and it would be better for everyone involved to get on board with the idea of a trade if that's the path the organization has Most Certainly decided on, but mitch marner has all the leverage with the leafs in this situation, and it still hardly makes sense to force that or be sure of it at this moment. IF they approached him about not wanting to sign him for what they know he's going to ask which is prob 11.5-12.5 i'd guess (which... why THIS year would suddenly be the year they changed their mind about having a forward group make so much after signing absolutely ridic contracts last year is already lol and before a huge one comes off the books w jt... like.. flkdjs it feels like a fan fueled narrative of frustration here), that would essentially force him into giving them a list of teams he'd be willing to go to. it will be a short list of competitive teams who also are not going to want to be giving up much. the LEAFS would then have to find a trade that works within those very specific teams and is worth it to them, and they might say fuck it, mitch will be the better option to try to get us to the post season this year. and then be a) forced to let him walk for nothing in return if they still don't want to sign him at the end of the year or b) tempted to give him an extension where he MIGHT have driven up his own price based on performance that year. like it just. this narrative that mitch marner in the last year of his contract with a full nmc will be somehow forced out of the leafs and that's the LIKELY outcome is so ????????? tell me one trade where this team improves w the guys out here on expiring deals as it stands rn and why the organization would see improvement bc i can tell you they aren't just going to trade for the sake of cap space. i know the trade deadline and everything will also come into play if he hasn't been re-signed by then, but there's a very real chance mitch marner drives up his own price the way nylander did and then what. people are going to be even more furious like ??? just the surety with which people act like it is happening and Has to Happen despite not knowing whats available on the market or having a genuine proposal is actually terrible for the leafs, lol.

#sorry im still going here but every time i see posts abt it its like #Yes obviously an organization has some leverage and can pressure players into doing things. thats definitely not unheard of #but thinkin the LEAFS hold the cards here is kind of wild bc mitch can say no fuck you im staying? and then what are u gonna do #play him on a 4th line? bench 11 million dollars lfkjdsklf... who helps u succeed in the regular season which you STILL need to do #its just silliness and drama perpetuated by ppl fed up with yet another first round exit like #theyre not going to disrespect mitch marner but i just ultimately dont see how ppl think the organization does not value that man #they know the stats....... the impact......... #this isnt some situation where theyre just like. well experiment with four forwards making lots of money is OVER. the next one up is gone. #like the amt of moving parts and the amt of power mitch specifically holds is....... #a lot flkdvjx #i just need this summer to be over lmakfjdsk i cant #ultimately mitch gets the call on everything and yes the external pressure exists but i truly hope he fucks over the team on the way out #if thats what he decides #and i dont hope he takes a discount so everyone can just keep crying honestljyklgdjklf if he does extend. #which in my mind is definitely the most plausible option lol

[bunnihearted]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[gncrezan]

“I like to think I’m just good enough. Come on, peach. Those muffins we made earlier are calling our names.”

NICKMANCERS WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER...!!!! from @mrs-theirin and her nick/sabrina fic, something i’ve been meaning to draw a little something for since it dropped and i’ve only just really been able to get around to it

#nick wiseman brand domesticity and kindness and understanding. the way that fic made me nearly die. #my art #partially thank u very much quill for sending in that valentines ask cause i'd just been exhausted for so long and it just made me smile!!!! #i know it wasnt much but it rly did make my day LOL #nick wiseman #sabrina cadogan #mind blind #if only technically.... into the tag it goes #hope this pose and whatever makes sense . to me nick is dropping the worst pick up line of all time #and sabrina is exasperatedly (lovingly) wiping the flour off his face that is making him look even goofier (cuter) #and yes have i been a bit obsessed with pink and yellow . yes. i think its pretty and also fitting bc of the nickname #how am i supposed to resist meaningful little colors like that. i CANT

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Me, decorating my room: ...should I get a naruto poster?

Also me: If I search for naruto posters... they'll all make me angry in a way that's fucking unhinged

#and i was right. of course i was right. i wanna spit and bite #thry focus on the wrong things. why cant they just read my mind and make exactly what i specifically want? #why the fuck woukd i want an itachi poster??? i want a fucked up chakra tree sapping the people of their life force #i want naruto standing strong when everyones trying to tear him down. i want kushina telling naruto how much she loves him before she dies #i want iruka taking care of naruto when everyone else has turned their backs. but those make for bummer fucking posters #and i dont wanna hang my own art on my walls. maybe i need to go to an anime con. but i still feel like the artists would focus on the wron #things. ugh. i am become a naruto elitist. i just have too many feelings abt naruto >:-[ #also. i live in the middle of nowhere in the mountains now so like i dont thibk ill b going to any cons. #also moving across the country is fucking exhausting and idk when ill have time to properly draw yet #naruto ramblings #is it too much to ask for everyone to interpret naruto like i do? in opposition of the writer?? is it me who's out of touch??? #no. its the people who are wrong. lol me and my fucking naruto feels

[ladysqueakinpip]

not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga

#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater #so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS #only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS! #he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it #and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves #its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT #poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later #😬 #i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂 #ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words #anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog #the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good #they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to #the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof #how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events #the whole thing is so bone chilling #it gets my heartrate up lol #PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain #EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep' #and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use' #rocking back and forth sobbing crying #remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me! #cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs #like they did with hamilto.n #hamilto.n never stopped being good actually #yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

So yeah avoiding my phone didn't work and also meant I sat on the kitchen floor staring into space for about 3 hours before Alfie woke up but hey at least I didn't break anything

Them being around is helping a little but they're also struggling and it fuckin sucks bc I know we're both just. Rotating money stress in our minds

#like. i went out earlier to get bread #just bread bc we cant afford anything else #got just enough in the bank to cover the work thing but since management stjll hasnt gotten back to me on HOW to pay it its like #our electricity is already in debt lol it has a thing where you can go £10 into debt before it switches off #and it usually wont switch off over weekends #presumably bc all but 1 places nearby thst we can top it up at are shut on weekends but anyway #so we're like. okay. it MIGHT last today and if it does thst SHOULD mean itll last till monday. #but then itll be at least a tenner in debt #then we only have to last till thursday but its. do we keep this money thats for The Thing that is once again unclear on how urgent it is #or do we spend it on the Soon To Be Immdiately Urgent thing #and thats not even CONSIDERING food lmao we. i got 2 loaves of bread so we can at least survive on toast for a few days #we got 3 maybe 4 meals worth of stuff still in the kitchen #like...at this point i dont even care if i have to go a few days without eating at all to make it to thursday but its. #its so fucked up those are the terms im thinking in #and this isnt asking for more donations i really cannot take that today im at the fuckin bottom of my barrel #and already feel hopeless and useless and an active drain to everything around me #but its. like. how. why. why is it still like this. why is it looking extremely unlikely its ever gonna change. #whats the point if its all for a few scattered handful hours of actual peace and comfort never mind happiness #tldr yes i am once again suicidal but small s #like in the sense of i would feel immense relief if a truck came at me on my way to work tomorrow and would not step out of the way but #dont have it in me to actually consciously act upon

[shepards-folly]

DEATH OF THE EGO

#shep arts #posts from the queue #chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #cj soul #tw noose #i drew this purely so i could title it death of the ego lol #side note: i used mind heart and soul to remember ego ID and superego for my psych class lol #soul is ego because ego acts as the moderation between the impulsive ID and the moral focused superego #i did have to swap the imagery of mind and heart cause ID is usually the demon but Heart is angelcoded to me so i had to make them an angel #uhhhh dont ask me about the striped clothes or the manacles... i did that for a reason but i cant remember why #i think it was something something trapped with mind and heart trying to get them to work together something something prisoner imagery #idk lol my art process is literally just throwing things at a wall and seeing what ends up sticking sooooo yeahhh

[wormonastringtime]

hmmm 🤔🧪

#i cant believe i forgot to post this one LOL #for the record henry uses he/they but its kind of complicated for him. like. henry usually just uses he/him and doesnt normally tell anyone #about his gender stuff but if someone used they/them then henry would be trying really hard to contain excitement about it. #so like idk henry doesnt normally use they/them LOL but he appreciates it when ppl occasionally acknowledge that hes not just a cis guy. #if that makes any sense at all? :teehee: like idk i know i use he/him for the guy but henry doesnt mind that at all. he doesnt rlly live in #a place where switching up pronouns during conversation is a common thing. so henry likes the idea of the option more than caring about its #everyday usage. hope this helps #my art #doodle #digital art #oc tag #henry

[fyodorkitkat]

Fyodor's hair isn't actually dirty he just has fine straight hair like me so when he wears a hat it doesn't take much for it to look flat and glossy tbh...

#im not someone who minds the dirty rat jokes though but that is just personally my thoughts lol #it doesn't take much to make it look flat and a little oily because of his hair type and he likes that ushanka a lot which is such a #warm hat too #or he was up for just two days tbh that could do it too like ppl who do the every other day wash or longer i cant do it either #fine straight hair gang 🙏 #bsd fyodor #bsd

[eldritch-nightmare]

Happy 20th bday!! I’m so proud of you, and I really hope things get better for you!! If not, I’ll fight god for you )):<<<

aw thanks!! im sure things will get better for me soon, so hopefully i can start writing again <3

#anon #archived mind of v: thoughts and opinions. #i cant write rn but i'll probs start working on bots again to keep myself occupied. #or i'll play dbd. #probs bots tho bc i dont feel like plugging up my playstation lol #but thank you!! #ive been in a strange michael myers mood lately?? so maybe i'll try making a bot for him #really just gonna focus on horror characters and maybe a select few creepypasta requests. #PLUS THE LIU BOT IM SUPPOSED TO MAKE OMG #ive been so busy i forgot im sorry </3 #i'll work on tht one first