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#i just hhhhhhhhh idk what to do i dont know

elvenbeard · 4 months

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Tag Game: Get to know me

I was tagged by @therealnightcity tysm!! :D

Relationship status: Single, but potentially willing to mingle?? Idk, I've never been in a relationship for a variety of reasons, mostly probably that I dont like the idea of randomly dating, as well as a variety of insecurities and self-worth issues that I'm working on resolving little by little xD I just like to think it's never too late to find someone you click with and can be weird with and build sth together.

Favourite Color: Purple, even if my wardrobe says mostly black and red xD I'm fond of bright bold splashes of color here and there too though, I like turquoise and red and yellow.

Song Stuck in my Head: "Sink" by Remember the Monsters. Was in my weekly Spotify playlist a while ago and I keep coming back to it. It just has big Vince vibes, what can I say xD

Last Movie/TV Show: Last movie I watched was "Inferno" (of the Robert Langdon series based on the Dan Brown novels). Gotta say, it was a bit of a letdown, I liked "Angels and Demons" and "The DaVinci Code" a lot more xD Last series I watched was "Carol and the End of the World" on Netflix and that one was really good!! 2D animated series for adults about life, death, and finding your place in the world (and really bizarre in parts but in the best way xD).

Favourite Food: hhhhhhhhh I'm so bad at picking favourites but honestly, gotta go with pizza, cause it's so versatile xD If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life I'd have horrible digestion issues eventually, but cheese pizza with stuffed garlic crust... beloved xD

Last song listened to: "Malfire" by Refused. Could honestly work as a proper Samurai song xD ("the tower's falling down, down, down!!" *headbanging intensifies*)

Dream Trip: I'd love to go hiking in Iceland, visit the hot springs, etc. Or do a long round trip through Japan to see all the sights, stay at a ryokan, visit the old temples etc etc. Iceland seems a bit more achievable at the moment but yes xD both eventually I hope :D

Current Obsession: Cyberpunk 2077 xD in case no one had noticed yet. Still very happy in Night City and planning to stay!

Spicy/savoury/sweet? I like a little spicy, but overall cant handle it well cause I'm simply not used to it xD I prefer savory and sweet equally :3

Last thing I searched: "500,000 SEK in EUR" . Stumbled upon a channel on youtube where someone renovates a cabin in the swedish woods they got for cheap and went looking how much cheap houses in Sweden cost and how much that is in Euro xD around 45,000 for this one I found xD still out of reach for me but good to know I guess!

I'm not gonna tag anyone in particular cause I feel most of you were tagged already in some way, so yeh! Consider yourself tagged if you wanna fill this!

#personal stuff

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weightlessisthenewblack · 5 months

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Man guilty nausea is a whole other monster huh

Hhhhhhhhh im such a scummy shitty worthless waste of a human being. I don't deserve to have such a loving boyfriend he's way too good for me. I cant believe i let any of that happen. God idk what to DO.

I let the roomie touch me. Not like crazy sexual or anything but like. Caressing my legs and body without actually touching yk. I got caught up in the moment bc it was SO HOT but as soon as he left to go back to work the guilt set in and I rightfully feel like shit.

I already texted him and told him how i feel ab it. So we've set that boundary now which ig makes me feel a little better knowing it wont happen again but im kinda terrified of what i might do when we're alone one day. I might make the biggest mistake of my life.

Not to mention i cannot under any circumstances tell the bf any of this. Ik i should bc he deserves to know and make a decision ab our relationship based on it but im selfish and i cant let him leave me i cant. Idk what id do if he left me bc im the scum of the earth.

Roomie just makes me feel so sexy in a way bf doesn't. Roomie is so experienced in ways the bf isn't. I'm the bf's first in every way, but he's not mine so to me touchy feely things and sex in general are very casual things, but for him im his entire world. And im flirting with the nuclear launch codes to our relationship.

Please dont judge me or try to help or anything i think i just need to get this out of my system and wallow in my own misery.

To think I've always hated the concept of cheating on your partner and here i am basically doing that exact thing without actually doing that exact thing.

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mister-lady · 3 years

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I WANT THE DAY TO HURRY UP SO I CAN HOEPFULLY GET IT AND I'LL BE SAD IF NOT HHHHHHHHH BUT AAAA I SO WANNA KNOW WHAT THE SPECIAL THING ISSSSSS EVEN IF I DONT GET ITT... HHH BUT IF I DO GET THE JAM IDK IF I'LL BE ABLE TO EAT IT I'LL PROBABLY JUST STARE AT IT AND SOB WHEN ITS ALL GONE DKVKFKFK

#I WANNA KNOW WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT IT #IVE NEVER HAD CROFTERS JAM BEFORE #AND MY CURIOUSITY IS PEAKED #IM GONNA GO CHECK HOE MUCH IT COSTS AND HOPEFULLY NOT A LOT BUT I WONT BE SURPRISED QWQ

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thebeauregardbros · 3 years

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“The Ultimate Character Questionnaire”: Alus Beauregard

a fuckton of random questions abt alus ramblingly answered

questions stolen from [here]. i cut out ones that ask the same questions i accidentally answered prior, or just didn’t interest me enough to answer, so if you wanna do this for your own OC I recommend copy+pasting it from the source!

Basic Character Questions

First name? Alus (pronounced ‘Ah-Loose’)

Surname? Beauregard (taken from adoptive father)

Nicknames? Alus wants to be called “Al” but it doesn’t stick because his name is already short. Lots of people unfortunately call him Alice. he does not like that

Date of birth? unknown but he celebrates his birthday on All Saint’s Wake (aka Halloween)

Age? Funfact: Alus and Arc’s age is the age between the RPers’ real-world ages (I’m 24, Arc’s player is 25, but for a brief period Arc’s player becomes 26 while I’m still 24.) So they’re going to be 25 this year (2020)... what the fuck. stop growing. dont do that.

Physical / Appearance

Height? I... he’s tall. Despite Alus being the max height for Miqo’te characters (5′8″/173cm), other male Miqo’te RPers say their characters are taller than that anyway, so I’m like.. not sure what to answer. I don’t want to break reasonable canon of what’s possible for Miqo’te but I also don’t want him to be short or average sized in comparison to other average Miqo’te. I’m just gonna say, definitively, “Alus is tall for a Miqo’te”. If you have a tall Miqo, Alus is just as tall. Or half an inch taller. Take that as whatever you want. I’m tired.

Weight? I... don’t know? This question really doesn’t clarify anything to me; people can be the same height and weight and look totally different in body type. If you absolutely had to get an answer from me, my best guess is maybe somewhere between 170lbs-180lbs? (assuming he is 5′8″)

Build? Wide shoulders, slender hips, long legs, big wide chest and a nice strong core. He is muscular; burly and brawny; his body type feels intimidating and large. He has a healthy amount of fat over his muscles, but still has much clearly visible muscle especially while flexing.

Hair colour? Golden blonde; it’s got a subtle yellow-ish tone that reminds you of sunshine.

Hair style? Alus’ hair is naturally thick and wavy. His hair is grown out long; about armpit length. His hair is choppy, even somewhat feathered. It’s a bit badly damaged from years on the road, but the split ends and fly-aways sparkle brilliantly in the sunlight like a messy halo around his head. His hair naturally very poofy, like damaged 80s hair. Long bangs that were once pushed back fall gracefully over his face like a wild child running about in spring. Whilst resting away from work, he braids it loosely.

Eye colour? Heterochromia; A raspberry red in one pupil, and a sun-shiny yellow-orange in the other.

Eye Shape? Thin and serious, and slightly down-turned. Small double-lid.

Glasses or contact lenses? His eyes are overall pretty healthy, but he’s slightly far-sighted. He uses glasses once in awhile to read, but they’re not super necessary.

Distinguishing facial features? Heterochromia and his adult male Miqo’te markings. He tends to wear purple eyeshadow around his eyes and a subtle purple lip tint.

Which facial feature is most prominent? The facial structure of Alus more resembles an Elezen than a typical Miqo’te; he has a long slender nose, a oval face shape and noticeably high cheekbones.

Which bodily feature is most prominent? Alus’ lion-like tail is somewhat unique among other typical Miqo’te.

Other distinguishing features? His style of dress tends to stand out in a crowd; he favors pure white and soft pastels over more popular color tones among adventurers like blacks and greys. Also unlike the typical adventurer, he is more want to wear fabrics of the fancy and soft nobleman, decked out in frills and lace like a prince locked far away in a chamber more than any man on a dusty and bloody battlefield.

Skin? Uh... a... “medium tan” skintone? (again I have no idea how tf I’m supposed to figure out labels for skin tones when there’s no widely used phrases for specific tones fghdjkgh) with a “warm gold undertone”. The small amount of skin that’s ever exposed upon him is surprisingly soft, as if he never did much hard work in his life. [SPOILER]Underneath his clothes, however...The countless scars upon his torso, back, legs and upper-arms are rough and hard, like treated leather.[/SPOILER]

Birthmarks? Not that he knows of. He has lots of scars from messing around in his childhood but he can’t remember the origin of them all. Any of them could be birth marks as far as he can tell.

Tattoos? None! And he never plans to get one. He has yet to see any tattoos that match his personal aesthetics of what he’d put on his body yet and even if he did, he can’t imagine liking them enough to want to get one.

Physical handicaps? [SPOILER]Numbness in various small patches of skin throughout his body.[SPOILER]

Type of clothes? I already answered this somewhat but if you’re curious about specifics, I made [this pinterest] of stuff I’d imagine he’d wear. Pretty much just take the “aristocrat” Japanese street fashion genre and turn it white, and give it a bit of a gold trim. Lots of frills and lace; heavily inspired by fantastical shoujo manga glorified depictions of what a Prince Charming looks like in medieval setting fairy tales.

How do they wear their clothes? Some (not all) of the specific guidelines I have in my head of what his wardrobe’s like; Colors are only pastels, white, or gold - once in a blue moon he might wear a rich dark raspberry red color or bright orange or yellow. He will NEVER wear grey or black. Pants have to be long enough to reach the ankles. He prefers wearing his shirts tucked-in. Clothes MUST fully cover everything on his body excluding head, neck, and hands at all times - low neckline acceptable in off-duty time. Under special occasions only (ie beachware); lower arms, top of feet or shins can be uncovered. He wears a lot of jabot ties.

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) Alus takes his quality of fashion seriously. He’s the type of guy who wears expensive fancy soft white socks trimmed with gold nobody will ever see with the little suspenders on his legs to keep the socks from sagging down. He adores wearing white pointed dress shoes, especially if they have a bit of a high heel. Gold jewelry or buckles are lovely, and any shoe with lace, bows, ribbons, fancy beadwork or faux flowers are supreme. (Google image search ‘Bridal Boots’ if you wanna see his shoes. He’d seriously wear any of them.)

Race / Ethnicity? hhhhhhhhh it’s 5am man I dont have the energy to google faces until i find a reasonable faceclaim and try to figure out that person’s ethnicity... they’re Fantasy Characters... alus is a miqo’te.. maybe had some elezen or hyur in his lineage? idk

Mannerisms? Alus is like a living embodiment of a cartoon Disney prince. I don’t know how to better describe it; He’s elegant and gentle for the most part but can also so comically stiff you could mistake him for an automaton or a piece of background cardboard - then when the moment hits, he can spring into an unrealistic slapstick looney toon nightmare. He always seems to be in a constant state of floating between elegance, stiffness, and slapstick. There is never a break. There is never an in-between.

Are they in good health? For their active life circumstances of constant physical hardship, they are in amazingly good health.

Do they have any disabilities? I don’t think of ADHD as a disability (and I’m saying that as someone who has autism and most likely ADD or ADHD myself) but it’s classified by a lot of people as a disability. So yeah, uh, Alus absolutely has ADHD.

Personality

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Definitely more optimistic, sometimes to a fault. I think there’s a degree of choice in there but he’s kinda lost the boundary between blind trust and trying to believe in people and situations because he morally wants to. He is still a worry wart, and that is what causes him to fight so hard as he does for making things around him better as well as making himself better - but I think he makes a very active effort of not letting anyone see that part of him, maybe in an effort to convince himself as well that everything is and will be okay.

Are they introverted or extroverted? Extroverted in a lot of ways and introverted in others. Alus loves and thrives around people, and I think he’s a bit more drained than the average person when he’s alone vs. being in a crowd, but he’s still living more as an introvert - one-on-one deep talks can make him extremely anxious. He’s great at the surface niceties but can often find himself too devoted to strangers, which leads him into trouble sometimes. He’s like a really great social co-worker and a extremely awkward off-duty member of society that doesn’t really know how to function or navigate normal relationships.

Do they ever put on airs? A b s o l u t e l y. Alus’ entire persona is carefully hand-crafted over a lifetime. It’s not to say “This isn’t who he really is, he’s a liar”, but moreso “He’s not quite the person he wishes he was yet.” He makes a really large effort to put on airs of this confident and beautiful Princely type of heroic figure straight out of a fairy tale where he simultaneously knows that such a goal is impossible, since this isn’t a story book - this is real life, he is flawed and complicated, and nothing is as perfect as you wish it was. But he keeps trying no matter what.

What bad habits do they have? Low-key bullying his brother, for sure. Arc is the only person Alus just can’t really put on airs with so his perfect image just breaks down around him. While Alus appears to be a very gentle and kind individual around other people, he’ll comically slap and roast his brother without mercy. (Don’t worry; it’s mutual between them.)

What makes them laugh out loud? Almost anything. Alus is definitely a big giggler, and an even bigger loud spontaneous laugher.

How do they display affection? There’s two major levels of it. First, it’s showering you with little gifts - sweets, flowers, even money if you’re in need, with nothing asked in return. If you’re very close to him, it’s skinship; he loves spontaneously hugging others and holding hands and all that kinda platonic stuff. He’ll pretty much not let go of your arm if you’re around him. He also loves dancing with people, you bet he’ll do the whole nine yards of weaving you around him, lifting you above his head and dipping you.

Mental handicaps? Hates being touched. He has some really bad memories of being manhandled and despises any type of physical restriction on himself, especially from people he doesn’t find VERY close to him. He hates even more to be seen in casual clothes, especially clothes that expose his skin. He’s really not a fan of his exposed body and it’s gonna take a lot for him to get over it. He’s slowly getting better but it’s a long journey.

How do they want to be seen by others? Someone to look up to; someone to rely on. He wants to be the hope for humanity, essentially. He wants to inspire others to heroism and kindness just by seeing him, and he wants to make the world a better place just by existing in it.

How do they see themselves? Someone who’s just not good enough; Someone who needs to keep working to be better; someone who’s chosen destiny is to be the hero of humanity.

How are they seen by others? Probably as a weirdo. He definitely comes off as eccentric; his strange comedic ramblings and sudden dancing mid-conversation, as well as his random gifts and bag full of pranks, magic tricks and fireworks just really feel off-the-wall. His immediate devotion to others may also come off as exceedingly suspicious. I think how he dresses and his cafe also indicate he’s kind of the ‘rich unhinged guy’ stereotype. People who know him well though know that he’s an extremely good person who would give you the clothes off his back if you needed them more. He loves humanity and would do anything for it.

Strongest character trait? His stubborn devotion to his ideals, for sure. If he wants something, he’ll work his hardest to make sure it happens.

Weakest character trait? Far too trusting of strangers; he gets taken advantage of very easily, and he’s almost always happy to come back for more. He’ll even give the biggest villain a 2nd and 3rd and 4th chance. His inability to condemn anyone as truly evil may cause far more hardship for everyone in the long run than if he just chose to kill the person or lock them up indefinitely and be done with it.

How competitive are they? Alus thrives in competitive environments due to an absolute love and adoration for sportsmanship. He does a fantastic job making his competitors have fun and feels that a competition that is too one-sided doesn’t have any fun or worth. He loves difficult competition because he feels that it helps better himself and his rival.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? Oh, he’s absolutely a “strike now while the iron’s hot” type of a guy. He knows that even a second of a wait can change things for the worse. He’s also definitely a philosophical type that thinks over every possible scenario in his mind in his off-time, but ultimately, he’ll always be the one running off to get things done as soon as they’re brought to his attention. He’s the opposite of his brother, who wants to slow things down before making rash decisions. Alus just knows those decisions need to be made, so it might as well be now, so he just gets it done and worries about the outcome later.

How do they react to praise? He’s actually probably never used to it. I think he has a bit of a low self-esteem problem in how he sees himself as never quite as good as he wants himself to be, so praise can catch him off-guard pretty easily. He’ll cover that up by clumsily stating something comically over-the-top like “Of course, I am incredible! I am the best! Mwahahaha!” but not before gasping for air and stuttering like a shy schoolgirl first.

How do they react to criticism? He has a great ability to deflect toxicity into positivity; he asks what people mean and tries to understand them. I think if the criticism can be taken as constructive, he’s always happy to take it. If the criticism is just plain mean, I think he’ll ask if there’s anything he can do to help the person he’s talking to - he knows nobody would say such mean things to another unless they were having a pretty bad day.

What is their greatest fear? Oh, y’know. Losing his brother. Slugs and slimy things. If you wanna get painful and philosophical about it, I think he’s terrified of the future. He tries to live in the moment and just do the best he can at all times, but when he sees that what he does doesn’t help a lot of the world to stay safe, it freaks him out. In his mind, he’s doing a lot, but in reality - it’s not much at the grand scheme of things. He tries not to think about it too much. He tries not to think much of the past either - of all the mistakes, of what he could and couldn’t have done. It frustrates him. I guess you could say his greatest fear is his own limits. It never feels like he’s doing enough, or even if he ever could do enough.

What are their biggest secrets? [SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY] Alus is absolutely disgusted with the military powers of the world, and the politicians. He tries to stay optimistic and bright on the outside - he stays useful and does what he can without complaint, he tries to lie to himself and say it isn’t too bad, tries to focus on the good these systems do, to be placated and trust his brother that things will work out alright in this setup - but he sincerely wishes that somehow they could be abolished entirely. He’s frustrated with the idea of any one person or power having control over the lives of others - people those single powers may never meet - will inevitably cause a lack of humanity and understanding of others. Nobody should have this power, not even him, not even the gods. As Alus’ writer, I don’t think he knows a good alternative, he just knows he’s seen enough immoral and inconsiderate shitfuckery in these systems that he can barely stand it anymore. I think many soldiers probably feel like this eventually. [/SPOILER]

What is their philosophy of life? literally just look at the [quote insp tag]

When was the last time they cried? I FEEL LIKE ALUS IS THE TYPE TO TEAR UP AT EXTREMELY COMMON SHIT TBH?? EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL I STARTED CRYING TYPE??

What haunts them? [SPOILER]Literally just... becoming a soldier or a fighter to begin with. He wishes it never happened, he wishes the world didn’t need fighting to begin with. But he knows he can never go back now, and even if he did, he’d probably still become a soldier all over again. It’s all he can do in this violent, terrible world.[/SPOILER]

What are their political views? Notable traits would supporting equality rights for Beastmen, more funding towards helping refugees, more funding to adoption agencies and orphanages, more transparency about tax profit and spending, creating opportunities for different countries to share their culture.. etc. (Note: I like to believe that larger glaring IRL political issues like lack of LGBTQ+ rights, gender inequality, ableism, skin-color-based racism and other large current inhumane social problems aren’t problems in FFXIV’s universe. If your RP character uses bigotry in accurate line of these IRL social issues as a character trait, you are not welcome in my RP circle. Period.)

What will they stand up for? He hates violence in general, so he’ll do whatever he can to stop it. Anyone who seems to be controlling or keeping other people against their will is something he loathes. No means no!

Who do they quote? Urianger. like a lot. Probably mostly accidentally; he picks up a lot of vocal mannerisms from the guy.

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? Outdoorsy, for sure. He grew up under the stars and being forced indoors for a long time will probably give him feelings of anxiousness and claustrophobia, especially if the space is small. He has had some bad experiences being unable to go outside so he takes his freedom to roam outdoors very seriously.

What is their sinful little habit? He loves sweets. This guy is all about boasting a healthy diet, but his weakness shows the exact opposite. More serious answer: He tends to procrastinate bad, especially when it comes to his passive military duties.

How do they treat people better than them? If they breathe, they’re royalty. Utmost respect and courtesy. Treats them as if he’s the royal butler to their fancy ass selves, even if they’re the lowest of the low in poverty.

How do they treat people worse than them? Honestly? Pretty much the same answer as above. If he gets truly angry at someone, he’ll tell them how and why straight-up, but he’ll never stop giving them the respect and courtesy he believes every human being deserves.

What quality do they most value in a friend? Someone who is as ridiculously open-hearted and ready to confess love to the nearest person along with anything else in the world as Alus tends to do, but also someone who pays close enough attention to him that they can tell when he’s in distress. Alus has a hard time speaking up about when he feels uncomfortable, so someone who has a talent for empathy - detecting other peoples’ emotions - would be incredibly invaluable. That’s the fastest way to his heart.

What do they consider an overrated virtue? None, and all. He thinks that if anyone gets carried away with any traditional virtue to the point that they’re causing evil in the world, they’re just misguided. He understands that - or at least actively wants to understand that - so he can forgive.

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? He... honestly thinks of himself as more of an Elezen than a Miqo’te. So anything that ‘gives away’ that he’s a Miqo’te, he could probably do without. He likes his ears and his tail though! But maybe if he was taller? lmao. (I don’t intend to ever Fantasia Alus FYI, MAYBE if male viera comes out and my partner agrees to it AND I have absolutely no active RP going on, but it’s very unlikely, and if it does happen it will be considered a retcon, not a character development)

What is their obsession? Definitely his aesthetics. He spends an incredibly large amount of time, effort, and money on making himself look and properly act like a “fairy tale prince charming”. It’s not only a philosophical mindset of being moral and heroic, but also being charming and supportive to everyone around himself. He honestly hopes and believes that if he succeeds in creating and upholding this image that every person who rests their eyes upon him will be filled with determination and hope that heroism and safety is real.

What are their pet peeves? He disapproves of the glorification of alcohol, smoking, or any other vices that are bad for the average person’s health. He won’t turn away the people with these vices as potential friends, but he’ll certainly be tempted to lecture them on it. He is also really not a fan of casual skinship between strangers, nor is he a fan of an aggressively pessimistic attitude, nor will he ever really be used to people who wear very little clothing (He isn’t disapproving of the sex industry or sex workers per say, he just doesn’t ‘get it’; he could never imagine himself in their shoes), nor is he a fan of other people trying to change him to be more chill about his aesthetic code (how he dresses, how he positively interacts with others, etc.) - but he tends to be more quiet about his dislike of these things. He tries to stay open minded and patient, but yeah, maybe it’ll take a bit longer to get to ‘close friend’ status with these things.

What are their idiosyncrasies? (special mannerisms?) His posture tends to be stiff as a board: too perfect, like some sort of breathing statue or mechanic humanoid, while at other times it’s as if a switch is flipped to make him become a crazy slapstick ragdoll. He tends to speak in a constant fluctuation of ‘ye olde English’ and common casual speech, and he keeps a few feet distance from people he isn’t especially close with at all times. He’s generous with money and far too trusting of strangers to the point it feels like an overblown parody of these traits. He’s painfully optimistic and takes compliments first with a moment of surprise before he adjusts his reaction with over-the-top narcissistic vigor. He’s a constantly faltering image of himself. He’s a walking symbolism of good-hearted chaos.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? The only people Alus regards as true family is his twin brother, Arc, and his late adoptive father, Gwenneg. There are other Beauregards in the world, and other great “found family”-esque friends yet to make, but Alus cannot imagine them ever meeting the kind of friendship and connection he has with his brother and had with his father. Perhaps he’s tried in the past, but it just never feels the same. He’s at the point he’s given up on the idea of it happening casually.

What is their perception of family? A close-knit group that is always there for eachother, practically living at eachother’s hips. The type of people you can just glance at and they can read your mind, and even if they disagree with you, they’ll go along with you and fix it later. They’re always up for improving eachother. They are essentially extensions of oneself, and like limbs, even if such is cut - it is carefully looked after and healed, the rest of the body worries and tries to better it, never blaming it’s limb for not being good enough. All part of one system.

Describe their best friend. Arc is undeniably Alus’ best friend. I feel a bit weird talking about my friend’s OC for them, but I will say this; Arc’s strengths are in his slow and strategic approach to things; his love of politics and ability to glide through them, the way he finds the best routes and setups in battle, the timing, everything down to the little tiniest details to turn a battle of either wits or blood - he thinks over all of it, something Alus lacks. And despite being much less prone to trust than the willingly naive Alus, he can find the good in just about anybody when it really comes down to it. Arc knows the dark side of this world and is constantly aware and remembering of it, but understands it’s still worth fighting for. He’s also got a pretty good fashion sense! He seems extremely shady when it comes to his bar business though... It seems to be played up as a joke, but you’re never quite sure as you’re talking to him about it.

Ideal best friend? In assumption this means ‘a best friend besides Arc’, I think Alus’ standards are low. Of course, he’d love to have someone who shares his basic interests of aesthetics and his moral philosophy that centralizes on a love for humanity, and the honor and strength of action to act on it, but he also wants to know someone who can teach him a lot. I think that type of person could be absolutely anyone, especially someone that is nothing like him. Alus doesn’t want to necessarily completely change himself through the journey of knowing anothers’ life, nor change someone else entirely either, even if it’s for the better. He just wants mutual understanding with others. He finds a joy that can be found nowhere else when he feels two people, who don’t have anything in common, can find a common ground. This kind of thing excites him. I think something in-between -- someone who is a lot like him in a lot of ways, but has a few traits he lacks completely -- is ideal for him.

Describe their other friends / Describe their acquaintances. (combo’d) Alus doesn’t really have other people he regards true friends, I think. He kinda regards every person he meets as his friends. That’s really all there is to it for him.

Do they have any pets? No pets, just a lot of animals that follow him around for food scraps and snacks. He always has an open window for birds and butterflies, and an open door to dodos and chickens and stray cats. He enjoys the company of birds the most, though he’s a fan of the loyal doggy too. In terms of his mounts - He mainly only claims ownership over his military-issued chocobo for paperwork purposes, but regards her as a friend without a voice more than an animal under his ownership.

Who are their natural allies? Anyone who agrees for humanitarian rights, I think. Alus just exists to be a hero, really.

Who are their surprising allies? People he once fought. He always reaches out a hand for people who’ve made mistakes and tells them that he’ll be their friend if they agree to stop their mean-spirited behavior.

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? Equal combination “good kid” and “absolute little shit”; On the surface, he’d always be loyal to his father and polite to strangers, but the second he and his brother got some time to themselves they’d get into all kinds of shenanigans - especially if they manage to find some way to conceal their identity. Most of those shenanigans were pranks trying to scare people with All Saint’s Wake-esque props. They were also a time they were absolutely not above purposely trying to confuse people on which brother was which whenever it was convenient or just funny.

Did they grow up rich or poor? Poor, but I think he still thought himself as lucky. He might not have had a big room to himself or a lot of possessions, but he got to travel the world and meet so many interesting people and see so many interesting things in his father’s caravan.

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Nurtured for sure. His family were joined at the hip.

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? I’m sure Alus used to have a potty mouth when he was a kid and young teen. He picked it up from being exposed to so many different individuals growing up. If he’s been around a lot of sailors in Lima Lominsa, I think it’s a safe bet that he probably swore like one too. After his father died that changed almost immediately though in order to honor his dad’s memory.

What is their greatest achievement? I’m sure there’s much more impressive individual achievements he has accomplished - monsters he’s fought, hostage situations he’s negotiated, villains he’s managed to persuade to become heroes, but if you asked him, he’d tell you that simply being lucky enough to be chosen to become one of the Warriors of Light or opening his cafe are the achievements he’s most proud of.

What was their first kiss like? [spoiler]Still haven’t had it![/spoiler]

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? I feel like even though Alus adored his father, he probably did a lot of things to make him worried or stressed out, maybe even ran away once or twice just for the fun of it. It was a lot more innocent time for Alus and I don’t think he’d do anything like that in adulthood.

What are their ambitions? Alus just wants to end all war. Full stop. It’s not that complicated. He doesn’t really know the most effective way how to, though. He just keeps doing whatever he can when people request his help - which usually ends up taking advantage of his physical combat skills.

What advice would they give their younger self? Cherish this time. Hug your father and tell him you love him more often. And maybe focus on being a medic or someone who helps the world peacefully more than someone who uses violence to solve the world’s problems. Maybe care a little more about politics.

What smells remind them of their childhood? Chamomile, road dust, seasalt, and old fancy dusty antiques.

What was their childhood ambition? To grow up to be a glamorous warrior that saves the world again and again and to rescue a pretty princess.

What is their best childhood memory? Dancing on the streets of Ul’dah with his brother for a little extra pocket money and becoming unexpectedly popular.

What is their worst childhood memory? Losing his father to the calamity and being passed between temporary foster homes again and again, then finally losing his brother in that mess, too.

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? Alus left out honeyed milk for faeries all the time as a child. Post-calamity, he started to quietly make-believe that faeries and little unicorns visited him when he was particularly lonely or bored, or just wanted to escape his own mind for awhile.

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? [FFXIV POST-STORMBLOOD SPOILER]Hearing about Zenos’ body being revived against Zenos’ wishes for a perfect death.[/SPOILER]

What past act are they most ashamed of? Any time Alus can’t save someone from death. Sometimes, Alus must be the one to kill them himself. This is an unbearable sin to bear for him.

What past act are they most proud of? Any time he can save someone. Any time he can help the suffering of someone by giving a little coin. Every time he has made someone smile. It is all the most cherishable, wonderful memories to him. None better than the others.

Has anyone ever saved their life? His twin brother Arc probably on at least a weekly basis. I think saving eachothers’ lives is a regular thing on a battlefield, even if your ally is basically a stranger.

Strongest childhood memory? Just sitting underneath the stars, curled up under a blanket with his brother while they rest their head on their father’s lap as he reads them bedtime stories.

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? Absolutely. Guy will trust anyone at the drop of a hat, why not fall in love, too?

Are they in a relationship? Not officially, no. I think he casually flirts a lot and has gone out on sporadic dates with many people, but he hasn’t become anyone’s “steady”.

How do they behave in a relationship? Alus is extremely inexperienced. I think he’ll end up trying so hard to show off to whoever he’s dating that he’ll become exhausted. He wants to treat his future spouse like royalty.

When did you character last have sex? [SPOILER]Never![/SPOILER]

What sort of sex do they have? Nothing kinky or out there, he’s a shy confused mess to begin with when it comes to sex - he’s probably very reserved and traditional about it. I should note that Alus is canonically asexual, even if he doesn’t fully realize it yet. He doesn’t really understand the appeal of sex but he’d want his significant other to be happy. [NSFW/18+] He’d definitely insist on being a top, though. [/SAFE!]

Has your character ever been in love? As an greyromantic writer, I have no fucking solid idea what romantic love is supposed to be defined as. If you define it as ‘fantasizing about having a certain person in mind as a future spouse’ then, yes, Alus has been in love loads of times.

Have they ever had their heart broken? Many times, but it rarely gets him down for too long - he’ll fall in love with the next person he sees, then the cycle restarts.

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? A fake, forced smile. Explaining calmly to the enemy that what they’re doing is wrong. Explaining calmly to the enemy to drop it and go drink tea with him instead. If being calm doesn’t work, yelling at them about their hypocritical morality like some sort of shounen superhero making a speech.

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue, for sure. Alus will be so painfully reasonable with his enemies that the only way he’s drawing his sword to fight is someone else draws first.

What is your character’s kryptonite? Like any hero, he’s a sucker for hostages. Also, math completely turns him fucking stupid. [SPOILER]Also... having his morality questioned, especially being accused of being a hypocrite.[/SPOILER]

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? A faerie tale storybook from his childhood his father read to him often when he was alive.

How do they perceive strangers? “A friend he doesn’t know yet.”

What do they love to hate? I don’t really imagine Alus truly ‘hates’ anything or anyone, just greatly dislikes or disapproves of them. And even then I think he doesn’t particularly enjoy disliking them. I don’t think he views negative feelings as something to be prideful over.

What are their phobias? Slugs and other slimy creatures, as well as mild situational claustrophobia.

What is their choice of weapon? His fists, for sure; there’s some sort of philosophy inside his mind that fighting with his bare hands or body without tools or weapons to aid him is the ultimate form of respect towards other human beings’ pain and livelihood - he wants them to know he shall feel pain right back if he strikes someone else, and he’s allowing himself the possibility to be hurt in return.

What living person do they most despise? I think anyone who justifies war or pain as a glorious and wonderful thing instead of a tragedy is someone he dislikes. Especially if said person has no respect for human life or the bodies of the fallen.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? Plenty. Unfortunately mostly his given name is particularly targetted. He’s also been called too soft plenty of times.

Where do they go when they’re angry? Home - his house is well soundproofed and cozy. He may go on an off-trail walk alone in the middle of Thanalan or the like.

Who are their enemies and why? The Garlean army, the Ascians.. do you really need to ask why? They wish to create death and chaos, that’s plenty of a reason enough.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? Maelstrom military field medic, café proprietor, free paladin

What do they think about their current job? The café is seemingly always empty, but he doesn’t mind continuing to pour money into it. It’s a safe haven to him and a symbol of his independence from the violent life of military duty. Being a field medic is endlessly horrifying, but he’s glad he can help people. His status of Free Paladin makes him obligated to carry out duties to help Eorzea, which is something he’s proud of - but he is always not all that great at drawing his sword at the sign of trouble.

What are some of their past jobs? The only other “jobs” Alus has had in the past were mostly just side jobs for a little extra pocket money, mostly dancing on the street.

What are their hobbies? Dancing, capoeira martial arts, piano, tea brewing, baking, reading, writing, sketching, watercolor art, goldsmithing, fashion, bird keeping.

Educational background? Went to a school for accounting for a few years. He retained absolutely no information about accounting.

Intelligence level? Literate; can read older more complex texts easily. Good with maps. More of a “physical education” kinda guy.

Do they have any specialist training? Paladin training. Nothing else formal.

Do they have a natural talent for something? Weirdly incredibly good at parkour - stuff like navigating tightropes and climbing up buildings without any hesitation or struggle.

What is their socioeconomic status? At the moment, Alus is pretty well-off. He and his brother own their own business in the Lavender Beds, and Alus can afford high class clothes, hobbies, furniture and the like. He’s also prone to donate to charity near constantly.

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? whatever birds are ROUND

Which animal to they dislike the most? S L U G S

What place would they most like to visit? His cafe, honestly. It’s a safe haven.

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? People.

What is their favourite song? Simply Satie

Music, art, reading preferred? Alus loves playing piano, drawing sketches and reading storybooks. I don’t think he could trade one for the other! (He’s awful at singing though.)

What is their favourite colour? Pale blue, white, yellow-gold, and pastel pink.

What is their password? “Password”. Nobody will ever get it!

Favourite food: La Noscean toast! (AKA French toast!) with lots of berries and whipped cream!

Who is their favourite artist? ??? ((OOC: if Alphonse Mucha was in FFXIV it’d be him idk))

What is their favourite day of the week? E V E R Y D A Y (but probably mostly Sunday)

Possessions

What is in their fridge: Fresh salad, fruits, fresh berries, vegetables, tofu, jackfruit, orange juice, leftover strawberry shortcake, protein shakes, leftover rice, eggs, butter, yogurt, frozen berries... and even fresh flowers?

What is on their bedside table? A dozen lighthearted fairytale and academic books on aether he recycles through reading every night as he goes to bed, a pitcher & glass of water, a vase with a flower in it, reading glasses, 3 inch tall lil stuffed dodo.

What is in their bin? Compost bin for old fruits/vegetables/egg shells/bread and a recycling bin full of paper and packaging garbage.

What is in their bag? A lot of coin, a hairbrush, a box of ice chilled flowers, travel-size beauty products, lots of fireworks and other fun little spectacle toys, a pocket-sized book of poetry, a basic armor polishing set, a miniature sewing kit, bandages, healing potions.

What is their most treasured possession? A very old and damaged book of fairy tales from his childhood.

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? His adoptive father - at least, that’s what he wants to believe.

Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes! Very much so.

What are their religious views? [SPOILER]Alus has a complicated relationship with religion. For the most part of his life, he’s believed in The Twelve like every other Eorzean, but as he’s grown older he’s found himself more and more impatient and even disgusted of the cruelties that the gods allow to happen, and the ways followers of Nald’thal and Halone use their religion as a means to prey on the weak for the sake of money, classism, and racial disparity. Hearing the words of Garlean soldiers point out that proof that The Twelve exist is seemingly nonexistent has further disrupted Alus’ belief in them. Alus does, however, firmly believe in Hydaelyn.[/SPOILER]

What do they think heaven is? Alus has no true confident belief in what exactly the seven heavens are, but he likes to think heaven is a place where flowers bloom all the time, the weather is always warm and sunny, bugs don’t bother you and war and violence never happen, and relaxing tea parties are hosted all day long, clothes are comfortable and pretty and never soiled by dirt and mud no matter how much you play in the grass.

What do they think hell is? Like many Eorzeans, Alus believes in the seven hells. The seven hells are a place that one must climb out of to eventually make it to heaven, and depending on how bad of a person you were in life, the deeper in hell you start out in after you die, and the more you have to climb before you get upward into heaven. Alus finds great comfort in this ideology because it means that no matter how bad a person was in life, they may still find forgiveness and redemption in death.

Are they superstitious? I think he’s open-minded. He seems to discover so many legends of being real every day that it’s difficult for him not to believe in anything and everything he hears. He tries to be respectful of the unknown and follow their rules, but when push comes to shove it’s all about the grandest happiness for everyone - he will challenge whatever fae or ghostly apparition that wants to mess with him if he thinks what they’re doing is immoral or unfair.

What would they like to be reincarnated as? A stream. A rosebush. A rainbow. Something that others can look at and feel at peace, something for others to enjoy. A way to give love without living a life that inevitably creates suffering through heroism. To just exist as part of the beauty in the world.

How would they like to die? He doesn’t know. Death scares him. He does not want to die in battle. He does not want to die sleeping in a bed. But he wishes he’ll be old. He wishes he’ll have lots of friends. And he wishes he did everything he could while he was alive to make the world a better place as much as he possibly could.

What animal is most like your character, spiritually speaking? .... A golden retriever. Eager to please, extremely loving and loyal, a strong body, picky about weird things, and incredibly goofy.

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Betrayal?? torture?? bullying?? rape?? what do you want from me. He hates all forms of toxic and violent behavior!!

What is their view of ‘freedom’? The ability to form your own path; the ability to be whatever you want, even if the dream seems impossible to everyone else. The ability to go anywhere you want, walk and run anywhere you want, travel anywhere you want. The ability to say no when you want. The ability to be respected as independent.

How often do they lie? NEVER!!!!!!! He might bend the truth a little bit or side-step an answer but even white lies he’s not into. He rarely needs to white lie about anything anyway; he tends to see the best in everything.

What’s their view of lying? BAD AND UNNESSESARY

How often do they make promises? Constantly.

How often do they keep or break their promises? He 100% keeps his promises unless he’s literally physically incapacitated and in which case he will apologize and try to make it up to you so much

Daily life

What are their eating habits? Vegetarian. He eats really healthy and he eats a lot. Big fan of asian food I think. Has no problems eating stuff that’s bland as hell; I feel like it’s part of his determination to better himself. Has a terrible weakness for sweets, though. Secretly hates stuff that’s slimy, like mushrooms, but he will never complain if it’s given to him.

Do they have any allergies? Nope, he’s lucky. If he does, he hasn’t discovered it yet.

Describe their home. Very white, tons of gold nouveau trim on everything, and tons of flowers everywhere. Looks like the home of royalty. [Here’s his housing aesthetic.]

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? Neither, I think. Maybe leaning closer to minimalist over clutter-lover; he likes everything being clean and easy to access in his house. His design aesthetic of nouveau isn’t necessarily minimalist in inherent style though imo.

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Wakes up extra early, takes a quick cool shower to wake himself up, eats a quick and simple breakfast full of protein; most likely something with a lot of nuts and eggs as it’s ingredients + big salad. packs a simple lunchbox and starts his day: Every morning, he walks to the statues of Nald and Thal, viewing the warm pink sunrise in the process. he pays his respects to each; cleans and dusts with a simple cleaning kit he’s left there prior. Leaves some simple offerings. Finds somewhere nice and empty in Thanalan to do some excercises and martial arts training for the day. sits down and eats lunch afterwards. lazily walks home, takes another quick shower to get the sweat and dust off. while his hair is drying, he puts on makeup and decides a proper outfit to wear for the day. meets up with arc, goes on their obliged military-issued mission for the day.

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Makes an effort to drag Arc over to his place for a big fancy dinner. Tea and crumpets as an early evening appetizer. Alus cooks everything while Arc hangs out and talks, lending a bit of help when Alus demands asks for him. Arc sneaks in alcohol. Alus yells at him. repeat next week.

What do they do on a Friday night? this but like, outside, alone, in the middle of thanalan somewhere

What is the soft drink of choice? If soft drinks existed in Eorzea I can’t help but feel like Alus is one of those freaks who don’t like any of them.

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? NO

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? This question originally linked to some basic archetypes, but I already have TVtropes collected and they’re far more interesting as an answer imo SO: [All-Loving Hero], [Reluctant Warrior], [Cloudcuckoolander], [Warrior Poet], [Stepford Smiler], [Motor Mouth], [Large Ham], [Stupid Good], [In Touch With His Feminine Side], [The Fashionista], [Light Is Good], [Flower Motifs], [Declaration of Protection].

Who is their hero? I don’t think Alus has a specific person in mind that isn’t fictional - fact is, nobody is as perfect as the type of person he strives to be. I think he finds traits of admirable heroism everywhere in people, though. Everything from his friends who fight for the good of the world no matter what, from the villain who unexpectedly saves someone while nobody else is watching, to the single mother who works hard to raise her children, to the homeless people who just continue to fight on to live even when everything feels so hopeless around them. I think he sees traits in others he wishes he had all the time. He wants to embody all the good traits of everyone. And I should mention, if one is to have a ‘hero’, it is expected that person to be better than one, yes? I don’t think Alus believes he’s particularly better than anyone else, especially in their positive traits.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? Alus goes HARD on All Saint’s Wake. He and Arc’s signature best costume always ends up being these hyper-realistic ghost costumes that they trick out with special glamours, magic, and tech to surprise the passerby. If it doesn’t genuinely scare someone, it isn’t enough!

Are they comfortable with technology? I think he’s absolutely got the boomer brain when it comes to allagan technology. He can get by fixing old mechanical clocks and the like but when it comes to allagan stuff, he’s just absolutely out of his element. He’ll certainly listen if someone wants to try explaining it to him, but it’ll take considerable time before he fully “gets it” and usually when he does, it’s more on blind faith and an ability to follow basic directions more than true understanding. I think in general it just doesn’t really interest him and if he’s going to spend the time and energy to learn about it, he’d rather use that energy on his other interests - books, physical training, baking and the like. (Modern AU: He’s absolutely the guy still using an ancient flip phone because “It still works!” Also, he capitalizes and uses perfect grammar in all his extremely-hard-to-type number code texts.)

If they could save one person, who would it be? It’s a difficult question, because of course - the first person to come to mind is Arc. But the thing is, Arc can take care of himself. And Alus knows this. Alus trusts this. So when it comes down to choosing between Arc and someone less capable.. Alus will most likely help the less capable person. If Arc is hurt, Alus knows he’ll forgive him. But if Arc were to die? And it be Alus’ fault? It would utterly crush him.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Arc, of course. There’s nobody Alus would rather have by his side while dealing with problems.

What is their favourite proverb? “Since it is likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and courage.” – C.S. Lewis (Personally my fav proverb in thinkin about Alus is “Because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell.” – Hermann Hesse)

What is their greatest extravagance? This is kind of a depressing and even controversial answer, but it’s honestly any time he has ducked out from military duty with or without permission when all of it has just gotten to him too much. He knows that him not being there will be more of a problem than a solution - he knows that - but any moment he can just pretend, for a moment, that he’s just a normal man running a normal little girlish cafe during a time without war.. That’s his greatest extravagance.

What is their greatest regret? The amount of enemies he has been forced to down when talk wasn’t enough is piling higher and higher every moon cycle. It’s an absolute horror. He tries so hard to be nonlethal as possible. He’s studied so much how to avoid vital organs, how to down someone without hurting them badly, but no matter what there is always the chance of there being a prior injury he didn’t know about, or a undiagnosed medical problem that was just activated by the smallest knock.. That isn’t even to mention the people who have been hurt because the people he talked down didn’t keep their word or stood back up when he thought they’d stay asleep. No matter what, he just isn’t enough to save everyone. Why is it that no matter how hard he works to have this ideal of pacifism, it never works completely? Why is it never enough?

What is their perception of redemption? That the unwavering truth of this world is that people are fundamentally capable of change. He refuses to believe otherwise, no matter what. Perhaps it is an active choice instead of an instinctual one, nobody is certain for Alus’ mindful case. He believes the expectation for lifelong punishment for a past crime is petty and cruel, and in itself deters people from switching sides for the better. He believes anyone and everyone deserves the right to have the choice to right their wrongs at any time. Don’t misunderstand though - He understands sometimes people are far too gone for simply dropping everything they’ve done and that’s enough to erase their mistakes - he knows that some people can only find rightful redemption in the afterlife after execution, even if execution is not an ideal solution to stopping them in his eyes. But he prays for them. He’ll never give up on anyone.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Back into investments or savings to get an even bigger profit later. Alus knows how to play the smart long game. But uh... If the fates play a trick and he sees a beautiful fashion piece in a shop window, maybe that won’t last too long. He’s also notoriously overly generous with money to the needy, he spends money on service tips like pouring water out of a glass. Money is always moving, and if he starts to run low, he just works a little harder to get back to the comfort zone. He’s in a pretty good place in his life monetarily wise atm already.

What is their favourite fairytale? It’s difficult to answer this because I don’t know what sorts of stories exist in Eorzean canon! But I can say that the real-world 1986 manga “The Sword of Paros” is a huge inspiration to Alus’ character. It’s about a person born with the title of ‘Princess’ who believes to have been born the wrong gender, and does everything in their power to prove themselves worthy of the title of ‘Prince’ despite immeasurable odds against them from their family and their country. The hero also falls in love with a commoner woman who wishes nothing more to be loved by the idyllic image of a charming knight in shining armor that comes and rescues her, and their love is ultimately tragic as it’s also not recognized as valid.. but the prince never stops fighting for his title and the right of his love, and the ability for them both to be happy. Though the story ends without the ideal conclusion, the very concept of these characters fighting against all odds for something genuinely better for the whole world is something Alus is really all about. (Also, seriously, read this manga. It’s groundbreaking. It’s Utena done right.)

What fairytale do they hate? Any faerietales that have unhappy endings, or seem to focus strongly on tragedy or pessimistic ideas of realism in the world. That tends to fall into the category of ‘cautionary tales’ most the time. He’s also really not a fan of stories with body horror or gore.

Do they believe in happy endings? I think he believes that happy endings should always be the goal, but I don’t think he truly accepts that they actually exist. He understands that happiness and safety is always temporary, and this is why he should always strive to make the world a better place. If he helps someone get to a point that they’re happy, healthy, and safe - he’ll just move on to the next person who needs his help. A happy ending for himself though? I think he’s not confident in it, but he wants to live every day to the fullest as he can before he dies. He accepts this as part of his duty - he knows he’s living on ultimately borrowed time.

What is their idea of perfect happiness? Being in love, being surrounded by people you love, having the support of others you trust and having the ability to spoil the people you care about. Having a home you’ll never be kicked out of.. And no war that you have to leave to. No people you have to harm. Just the peace to drink tea with your former enemies as you gaze out onto flowers on a warm day... That’s all he ever wants.

What would they ask a fortune teller? I think he’s concerned if he’ll ever someone to truly share his life with besides his brother. He just really wants a good friend.. Ideally, someone attractive he can hold the hand of!

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Before the Calamity. He’d just want to listen to his father tell him a few more stories again. He misses the peacefulness of his childhood, the certainty that someone out there stronger than him loved him and wanted to keep him safe, the ability to ignore his own call to war... He wouldn’t so selfish to want to try and bend fate enough to save his father, though he would if he had the chance.. But he knows it’s impossible.

What sport do they excel at? (Modern AU) He was definitely a cheerleader in highschool and/or college, I feel like. Probably into dancing! And ofc a dedicated martial artist. I feel like he’d be pretty good at football and wrestling too - games that require a bulky build to be great at - but he just doesn’t have a particular interest in either of those.

What sport do they suck at? (Modern AU) Probably stuff like archery and tennis - not only would he’d thrive better in big team sports, he’s just not much for long-range dexterity. He’d also be absolutely incompetent as an esports competitor lmfao.

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Anything that was especially effective at saving peoples’ lives. Time travel to stop mistakes before they happen or say the right thing before a war breaks out, super effective healing powers... anything. Just to stop suffering and death.

#meme #alus beauregard #ffxiv rp #this literally took me like 4 months to complete fuck

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recordmcqueen · 4 years

Text

when ppl ask me why im anxious

sorry i just have a lot going on n i kinda need to vent

uhh trigger warning for a bunch of stuff? dont bother reading but if u are gonna click then just beware

this education system freaking sucks theres like 13h till school is supposed to start but i havent heard a peep from either of my teachers so uhhhh lmao what the heck wHAT IS GOING ON SOMEONE TELL ME SOMETHING PLS HHHHHH

ive been swinging between feeling bitter and spiteful and just plain sad cause heck i cant stop feeling lonely like ive basically limited myself to tumblr to avoid certain toxic individuals but even here its just so dead n lonely and i feel awful for underappreciating the people who are here for me on this hecksite but god a hyperfixation is a hyperfixation and ngl im kinda miserable :’)) not to be “not like other X” but fr theres a thousand ways i fail to relate from timezones to socmed platforms to talents and just hhhhhh yeah ive had way too much drama and bad experiences and i kinda wanna move but i also feel guilty again for underappreciating the ppl who Do support me and im just perpetually torn between wanting to feel accepted and wanting to just break away from All of Them and hhhhhh it just plagues my mind and wont go away :’))

the weight loss is so confusing and stressful cause i just end up feeling bloated and everything feels out of proportion and im so tiredddd all the time and just hhhh i want my body to look normal and my clothes to fit the way they used to :’))

university applications are coming up real soon and idfk what im doing like ye im pre sure im going into psych but god is it even worth it?? and then whereeeee do i apply like hhhhhhhhhh

cause like my dad is anxious as i am abt where to work hes got a job in bc which he loves but he just got an offer in ontario which is like TORONTO!!! but like uni there is so expensive and he really does like his bc job but the perks of being based in ontario like also cause all the social life is there?? hhhhhhhhh and hes constantly debating it and asking for our advice and man u know im indecisive hhhhhh

im always irritable and annoyed and ive been sleep-deprived for this past week and gosh look at school tomorrow :’))) it just gets so overwhelming ahahahaha

not to mention the depressive episode i had a few weeks ago we went to the doctor n talked abt it n the lab results should be in soon but oh gosh those episodes mess me up so bad like my train of thought is effed up and this time was even worse than the first cause this time i was at home and had access to a blade so ofc i just went for it but what iff next time (is there even gonna be a next time?? like i thought it was a one time thing but then it happened again and im???) and im scared ill be in an even riskier position hhhhhh i dont Want to hurt myself but,,,i also kinda wanna do?

i keep having thoughts of not deserving life and just how my presence isnt worth much to other ppl and how i end up hurting the ppl who Do care and just being hurt over and over but gaslit every time so ofc i end up feeling like every bad thing that happens to me is inherently my fault and god im so tired im so tired of having to reach out every time in attempts to communicate and make rationality of whatever mess my headspace is hhhh and im not a good enough student or friend or fan or Anything at least ill be good dead???

im not actively trying to hurt myself most of the time but its just that lingering feeling of wanting to go to sleep and not wake up and every moment of happiness is so Fleeting and dont get me wrong im doing Better but Better is still Bad so :’))))

on top of that i feel god awful for neglecting people who care abt me all while continuing to complain about being lonely lotus i am so sorry i barely check whatsapp idk why i just dont have the energy but you deserve better than that :’))

and ofc being surrounded by hypocrisy gets real draining so ahahahahahaha

therapy is $$$ but venting to tumblr under a readmore?? free real estate binches

#allya squawks #allya vents #ignore me pls #im just trying to make sense of my braincells #:'))#im trying okay #god its hard

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lunarchaeng · 4 years

Note

I just notice you reblogged the ask game so : fairy lights, daisies, 11:11, storms & marble ? 💕

Fairy lights: Answered!!

Daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

hhhhhhhhh idk existing??? making it through college and a year early at that?? i dont feel v accomplished rn so thats all i got.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

hmmm 1. a stable job - bc i have two rn and both arent that great so far and do not pay as well as id like so im constantly worried about financials.

2. financials can just disappear honestly - like the amount i had to pay for both car insurance and registration alone....i hate this country.

3. get to hang out with one of my best friends more - i just saw her today but were both so fucking busy its hard to ever see each other :(((

Storms: you only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

only seeing one person for the rest of my life and (you guessed it) it’s my sister. because i know if i pick a song i will get sick of it eventually but i literally want to live with my sister for the rest of my life so i already know i could not get sick of her.

Marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

here we go again haha My Sister!!! we talk everyday even though we are states apart and i do not get to see her until november but we are making it work!!! she is my rock ok i love her to bits.

#korimi4 #asks #thank you love!!

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woodswolf · 4 years

Note

Let's go buck wild. Even numbers

i did this........ on mobile........ for You............

also im not bolding all of these its absolutely painful on mobile

2. How old did you turn this year?

4. Did your appearance change in anyway?

uhhh not really, been that kinda "lowkey dumpster fire" look for like the entire decade tbh

6. If you traveled, where did you go?

went to las vegas with family for three days over thanksgiving

8. Which fashion trends did you hate?

i dont even know what fashion is i just wear business casual for work and dont get dressed at all on the weekends unless i need to buy food.

10. What song sums up this year for you?

home by cavetown and/or strawberry blond by mitski

12. What was your favorite movie of the year?

i cant even remember if ive SEEN any movies this year tbh but uhh did good blood's oot analysis video essay come out this year? because if so ill go with that

14. Favorite new TV show?

i dont watch SHIT because i am uncultured and have no time!!!!!! but i guess steven universe future has been entertaining to watch from the sidelines

16. What food did you try for the first time?

uhhhhhh i guess i had shepard's pie. i know very new and original but considering my usual diet is "pre-portioned shit that can be thrown in a microwave and consumed" its something

18. What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

i dont remember things that happen more than like 3 days ago at any given time so idk

20. Did you develop a new obsession?

not particularly? just a few old hyperfixations came on stronger

22. Did you move?

yea for work, im in the civilization now

24. Did you get a pet?

sorta? my parents adopted a puppy but shes not mine n im not up there to see her most of the time so

26. Do you regret doing something?

sorta but its hard to explain

28. Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

sorta yea? but idk how to explain it in short form

34. Did you have to cut ties to someone?

not really? i dont remember

36. Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

i dont remember. this whole list is just kinda reminding me of how fucking long this year has dragged on tbh

38. What was the best moment of the year for you?

not really any one specific moment? idk, just goofing off with friends

40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

this question makes me feel Things in a way thats hard to describe. same with the companion question thats an odd number. how the fuck are you supposed to determine if something should change you as a person? how do you quantify that? and then how do you make a comparison at the end? i have megabig identity issues that im not really public with on this blog and pretty much never have been! it's just a huge series of cop-outs and shit! and like this isnt even getting into the idea of how im supposed to anticipate a change ahead of time? like whats up with neurotypicals n their future vision shit i want that?

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

uhhhhhh i got a job n i finished my first big project on that job. i am still working at that job and i hope that i can continue to work there because if i cant im beyond fucked.

44. Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

uhhhhhh i dont really know? i mean sorta but can an opinion really qualify as having changed for the better if it previously just didnt exist? like oh, i now know more about this person other than their name and the fact that they exist and turns out they are cool and nice. like that doesnt really count as an opinion change imo

46. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

if i made resolutions i sure as fuck dont remember them. but i got a job in my field at least so thats something

48. If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go this?

kinjago reunion party in fuckin uh. some big cabin in the woods where we can subsist and have sleepovers. n we never leave we just stay there forever.

50. What do you wish for yourself?

really need to keep my job hhhh. really need to fix my pc hhhhhhhhh.

#long post #my posts #i guess tbh

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gboxventspace · 4 years

Text

man. i hate how unfamiliar with being uncomfortable I am. i hate how afraid of it I am. im tired but im not, not enough to put my phone down for more than 30 seconds lest i be left to my thoughts. fuck. i can't even form coherent anxious thoughts rn, im just uncomfortable and upset and dont know how to cope with it.

i don't have the energy to explain it all here, but basically I just can't handle being a disappointment? it's one thing to know you are, it's another to be told so straight up. i try to spend time with my mom but it's either really nice or really not, either she's great or she's angry and there's no in between. I go out to hang with her bc we're both awake late at night, it's good for a few minutes, then she's going off about how disappointed she is in me and demanding explanations for things that both are and aren't her business at once, I'm upset and confused and just left

but I can't stop thinking about it, how much it feels like a punch to the gut. how much is my fault? how much isn't? idk but it hurts and I'm tired and i wish i was stronger. I wish living didnt hurt. I wish I could do basic things, basic responsibilities, without it being such a Big Deal in my brain, without it weighing on me. life is exhausting. and it never stops, does it? never. fucking hydra. do one thing and two more pop up. it never ends, apparently you just... get better at it? it's tiring, everyone agrees, but you keep trucking along anyway? what the fuck. I hate it. I don't want to. Let me be a petulant child, let me stomp my foot and cross my arms and pout and refuse. I don't want life to be like this. but im so spoiled, y'know? I'm a fucking spoiled child. I don't know real hardship. I've faced issues, I've faced challenges, and those were real. but they were fuck all compared to other stuff. why compare? I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it.

I like life when it's easy. I'm happy when things are easy and taken care of for me. And then I'm so upset and crack under even the SLIGHTEST pressure. there's no choice, really, is there? live and suffer. life is suffering. there's good in it, but you gotta trudge through so much shit to get it. is it worth it? I'm tired. life isn't fair and I depsise myself for whining about that. everyone suffers, everyone deals with it. the happy people are happy bc they see their shit and choose to be happy anyway... I'm not there yet. I've tried to be, growing up, been mature and responsible and The Good Child and allowed myself to be back seat. yet I haven't. fuck, so many things contradict and it's all too much, so much, why is life full of nuance and exceptions? contradictions? why can't things be simple? they're not, I need to grow up and accept that. but I'm not ready yet. but I'll never be ready, nobody's ever ready, and just hhhhhhhhh

i hate spirals like this, where i can't settle on any sort of conclusion, any closing, other than "this sucks and is exhausting". a good position could be reached, theoretically, but my brain's just so eager to jump all over itself and jumble everything up to make sure I don't forget anything, can't have someone reading my mind and judging my thoughts for being biased and incomplete or poorly argued.

I want something that can stop my thoughts, or at least slow them down. weed doesn't really do that much. it makes distractions work more easily, but then being alone is worse. maybe alcohol? I've never really tried. im afraid of messing up, giving myself away, doing something stupid, but i just want to find a way to stop. stop thinking, stop it stop it s t o p i t. im overwhelmed, and by what? basic shit. being told she's disappointed in me for something I both care a lot about but also don't. I'm conflicted and confused, but more than anything I'm just fucking tired. what does she want from me..?

12-16-19 4:02 am

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honeyboyfelix · 5 years

Note

hahahah well i didn’t think this far ahead either— how about telling me things you like about each member of stray kids? it can be obvious things or details and long or short, whatever you like. i’m looking forward reading it!!! (hope i’m not asking too much + don’t do it if you don’t want to!!) - 🌻

Uwu dont worry its not too much itll just take me a bit

Chan: i wanted to do chan first because like oof this might be long i have a lot i love about himn first i love his dorky face hes very memey and i really love that for him. I love that every week he does solo vlives to keep US company and see how were doing like he totally doesnt need to do that but he does and its so cute he really does love us so much. I love how he takes care of the members, they all look up to him and listen to him even tho hes not much older or even more mature becayse hes a big dowmrk and theyre all gremlins but they still listen to him he just has like aura that makes you wanna listen to him. I love how animated he speaks, he uses his hands and body and voice pitch when hes telling stories. Hes very humble...too humble he needs to give himself more credit, hes kinda like the most beautiful person ever but hell never admit it so well just have to keep telling him.

Woojin: woojins really quiet...except when hes not, whenever he talks hes super super funny and loud i really wished he talked more but he usually just sits quietly looking fondly at the rest of the members as they talk which like mood. All the members are lowkey scared of him????????? Like what kind of proof do you need that hes a true aries king then a member says something wrong and he just has to look at them and they see their lives flash before their eyes, love that for him (me? An aries? Loving aries? More likley then youd think) but hes a big dork too!!! He treats 00 line + innie as his babys and cuddles them very uwu. Ugh his singing? Puts me through it every time especially in i am you that shit fucking uhhhhhhhhhhh made me cry. Hes also a lowkey savage and i love that too (me and woojin might be the same person👀)

Minho: fuck man minhos weird as shit, he screams for no reason says the most bullshit things ever likes the smell of sewage, love that goblin man!!!!! He also like loves feeding the other members and any time he does it i cry a bit its really cute uwuwuwuwu. Also like can we talk about his singing?!?!?!?!?! Because that shit is fucking beautiful as fuck man like thats his fucking dream and he did it every time i hear him sing i feel blessed pls let him sing more (ugh imagine dance line have their own song oof) hes so so pretty too his eyes are so nice ugu.

Changbin: (i nearly just wrote changbinnie and that doesnt tell you how i feel then idk what will) my same height buddy!!!!!! Were both 167cm but very down to throw down 24/7 👌. Hes so cute when he gets excited at things and when people roast him his face is priceless (hes so easy to roast too never change binnie) hes very serious about music he looks so cool and then he fucking goes and waddles around and does aegyo like abdndjdjs hows that the same person. Hes very dedicated to his haircut 👀 hes kept it almost exactly the same every comeback even since like the survival show and it looks so good on him idk what wed all do if he changed it idk if wed recognize him omg. UwU i love his lil dorky face so much hes so pretty sometimes it hurts and then he opens his mouth and its like 100% dork.

Hyunjin: oh boy ok hyunjin is the sweetest lil bub i fucking love pisces theyre so soft and cute every time he cries i wanna protecc but pisces also know how to attacc like have you seen the boy fucking dance uts like a switch turns on abd he goes into kill mode. His style of dance is probably me favorite (maybe tied with minho idk)but like his singings so good too who let him, actually please let him sing more i need that shit to live. His style is really nice everytime i see airport photos im like hhhhhhhhh wheres hyunjin i need to see hyunjin. He said in a vlive once that theres things he insecure about but because stays told him they loved them (those things) he started to like them too (like his eye mole) and like thank god because theres so much to love about him i hope he loves himself more, my cute shy bub.

Jisung: mmmmm unpopular opinion but like jisung is so fucking funny but like the way a pun is funny like you just wanna laugh and scream at the same time. Hes really charismatic but also really attentive when he needs to be, i think it said somewhere that jisung writes the fastest in 3racha. He so bubbly, he really makes everything feel like an adventure, this is Hans world were just living in it. He gets scared so easily and ive kinda picked up his little suprised noises, now whenever i die in over watch i make like the ':o bwa' noise my families very annoyed. Ugh can i just cry a bit about his english like oof after melbourne im like dead in a ditch and han jisung fucking put me there his accent? Cute! I feel like his voice goes deeper in english which is weird vecause usually speaking a foreign language makes our pitch go up but that could be practiced but its still cute uwu. His lil 'woooooow amazing'? Killed me dead. Love my hard working baby boi.

Felix: i would say his voice is nice to listen but its actually not (still love it tho) he shifts pitch a lot and will like go lower then go higher in the middle of speaking which is such a cute nervous tick he probably doesnt realize hes doing. He also like, if you give him a mic but hes not the one speaking he'll make little comments into it (see: the last asc they were on) this kid has got a fucking vocal range on him man for someone who can go so low he can go hella high as well i really hope theyre training him well because thats really fucking useful once you know how to sing. Speaking of singing UM HIS VOICE IS SO PRETTY, remember when everyone thought he was woojin in heros soup?????????iconic bitch we all thought he was the main vocalist. Thats fucking wild. Ugh his rapping tho? Thats what really calms me down. His rapping feels like a warm blanket and i like cant get enough of it (especially his back and forth rap with bin in n/s) hus laugh us so cute too oof he laughs at fucking everything. When his lil tongue blebs? Love that shit to death theres like five thousand photos of him sticking his tongue out. My poor nervous bub i love seeing him talk more in vlives i know he has anxiety and stuff so i feels so good to see him relaxed and laughing loudly and telling stories it makes my heart so warm to see his little freckles with a smile on his face

Seungmin: his big wide smile is amazing ugh. His fashion is also amazing like thats at least half my aesthetic with his cute little berets and sweaters and button ups underneath. He could probably roast you into the ground tho and he does it very calmly too. (Roasting is my favorite quality 00 line may be bad at aegyo but theyre so good at roasting people bless them) he may seem like the 'calm' member but the others say he the loudest and hes constantly annoying them (innie) him being clam is all for the cameras. Hes a big day6 fan hes really living his best life being famous saying he loves them with his whole chest. Hes going to college?????? We love a hard working boi going to school and being an idol just because his parents told him too and even doing vlives with us whenever he can uwu love him. HE. WORKS. SO. HARD. I love him :c my beret boi

Jeongin: ugh ok innies so cute like we been knew his eyes look like fairies and his smile cures diseases and he looks so good without his braces abd im so proud of him being so young and dealing with all this pressure. He really feels like hes my little bro (may or may not have to do with him being my sisters age) but hes so mature (i cant get his melbourne end ment out of my head he cares so much about his hyungs and he like knows when theyre hurting oof) i like his duality with seungmin and hyunjin, him and minnie are like...well me and my sister constantly annoying eachother and never letting the other live but hes so different with hyunjin he has a super big soft spot for jinnie he doesnt even have to ask for hugs anymore they just do it automatically its so cute uwu. Hes also big dork i think hes soaking up all that big dork energy from the rest. We love a cute baby maknae

#long post #i feel like i didnt get everything i love about them but this is most or at least all i could think of off the top of my head #if i was watching a vid id definitly say more

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angelixii · 5 years

Text

tag

i was tagged by @howosh thank you!!

Star sign - Pisces

Height - 5′2 or 5′3 idk

Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs:

hhhhhhhhh im too lazy :’)

Grab the nearest book next to you, turn to page 23, what is line 17?

still too lazy

Ever had a song or poem written about you?

pft no

When was the last time you played air guitar?

uhhmmmmmmm not sure fam

What’s one sound you hate? One sound you love?

I hate the sound of a assistant principal at my school ig and love the sound of like Flutes and stuff

Do you believe in ghosts?

Hell yeah

Do you believe in aliens?

mhm

Do you drive? If so, have you crashed?

nope

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

frick yes

What’s the last movie you’ve seen?

pft no idea fam

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

uhhhhh dislocated my shoulder i think idk i was like 3

Do you have any obsessions right now?

my obsession is crying apparently hA jUst kIdDing (not really)

i dont really have an obsession rn tbh, i mean ig i still have a little bit of watching Sam and Colby with their exploration videos left in me but that obsession is going away

Do you tend to hold grudges?

eh, depends

In a relationship?

i think yall know the answer to that :)

First name: Kassidy

Last name: that information is cLAsSiFied! jk its Paine

Age: mentally 5 but actually 13

Hair color: brown

Favorite fruit: idk apples ig

Favorite season: spring

Favorite animal: Lions

Favorite fictional character: Newt (Maze Runner) Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Ralph (Detroit: Become Human) and more that i cant think of

Favorite TV show: dont watch television

Favorite colour: blue red yellow and green

Dog or cat person? definitely both

Dream trip: oof not sure

Post your last selfie: mmmm im on my laptop so id have to save draft and go to my phone and upload my ugly self and thats too much work for me rn i feel like trash so ya know :’)

Also anyone who wants to do this can!

#tag #tagged #tag game #oof #about me #i feel like shit rn #like i literally dont know what to do #like at all #i didnt even really wanna do this tag #i think you can tell by my responses #:')#sorry i suck :/#ill go now

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homestucky · 5 years

Text

:^)

>:^)

>:^D

hey guys i got a mark back today for the coursework i handed in recently which caused me a lot of stress, pain and multiple all-nighters. its 20% of one of my modules, but that module is worth 3 regular modules if that makes sense. also my grades from this year are weighted twice as much as last yr in how they go towards my FINAL DEGREE GRADE. so overall this ONE report was worth 120% of a 2nd yr module. it was worth 60% of a regular 3rd yr module. something like 10% of my ENTIRE DEGREE, i handed in printed on 13 sheets of paper 3 weeks ago. and i left it to the last minute to write bcaus like... depression. and i could barely read the sources i was writing about bcaus words feel like bees in my brain. and other people went to get their results and said the marking was really harsh, and doing a stem subject and it being an essay-type report, the expectation of how people did was ALREADY VERY LOW. bcaus we are dumb stem students who cant read or think critically! but hhhhhhhhh

not to be a smug bastard but...

i got 80% !!!!! :^0000000000

for context the top grade in the uk is a first, and the pass mark for it is 70%. that means my work was ‘Exceptional’!!!! wtfwtfwtfwtfwtftwtftwtftwtftwetftwtft

(i also got 74% in something i got back yesterday which i thought i totally blew which is decent. no its great!! so much better than expected. its a first!! wtf!!!)

so anyway thats crazy!!! like unbelievably so ! like i literally cannot believe it to be true. like im seeing the grade written there and im like ‘that says 80%, one in typed font and one in handwriting and both clearly say 80% and the markscheme says 80% is exceptional’ and im like i hear you but............... are we SURE. are we SURE this reflects on me in ANY way?

(chanting: fluke fluke fluke fluke)

dyou know what i mean? like i go though my degree assuming im the dumbest pos alive and definitely getting the worst grades. and dont get me wrong, it pains me to think about but i have gotten poor grades before. my grades vary a lot. ive failed modules and had to retake them. ive barely scraped by in some things. but by now i should have enough evidence to prove to me that i am not stupid and i am capable when i try, sometimes even if i dont particularly. like, 74% is the lowest mark ive got so far this yr! ive got: 88%, 93.5%, 74%, 80%. those are legit like.... good grades. but every. single. time. im like phew!! what a lot of luck!!! cant believe nobody noticed me tricking them by pretending i know what im doing THIS TIME. onyl a matter of time before someone realises im stupid and says ‘not so fast dummy!! heres a nice fail for you’!!!!!

like idk. its so annoying. thinking lowly of myself makes me not want to try. its a self fulfilling prophecy. i know that. but i cant help but look at all my failures and all my successes.. and think hmm im gonna think about the failure pile a lot more actually, bcaus i feel like that pile really GETS me, yknow? like the success pile is such a funny weird lot of coincidences and accidents and luck. i dont know how this keeps happening!

idk. i just. sincerely have trouble internalising positive feedback about my intelligence. to the point where if i do well in a module i feel like its proof that the examination methods of the module are weak and ill-thought out enough to be unfairly generous.

OK CASE IN POINT ABOUT ME BEING STUPID: as i was typing this out i got my toe stuck in a draw. ffs

#i passionately debate my own intelligence #dnt reblog if that wasnt obvious

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httpsjaemin · 6 years

Text

85 questions

rules: answer there 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

i was tagged by @rosyeols tysm darling!!

last

1. drink - coffee (i.. just woke up djfvodnls)

2. phone call - my bhaiya

3. text message - my baaji

4. song you listened to - like that by kris wu.... r u surprised

5. time you cried - crying is a daily event for me so ya

ever

6. dated someone twice? - never dated someone ONCE

7. kissed someone and regretted it - no but one time in eighth grade i sent someone a kissy emoji and ive regretted it ever since

8. been cheated on - ya by god

9. lost someone special - yuh

10. been depressed - yu hhhhhhhhh

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no ive never drank all choke hall

fave colours

12. pink

13. black

14. grey & white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes!

16. fallen out of love - not rlly i dont think so

17. laughed until you cried - ofc

18. found out someone was talking about you - i think yes

19. met someone who changed you - definitely

20. found out who your friends are - not rlly. more like who they aren’t

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - lmao no thanks

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i think every single person? they’re all ppl from school so

23. do you have any pets - yes!!! i have an orange persian kitty named cooper and i love him!!! with all my heart!!!! he likes to nap on my bed🤧🤧

24. do you want to change your name - lowkey kinda

25. what did you do for your last birthday - uhhhh i hate my birthday and dont like going out so i just ordered some food and watched movies

26. what time did you wake up today - 7:00 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - studying

28. what is something you can’t wait for - graduation

30. what are you listening to right now - an unsolved murder podcast eojvpwrg

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - does thomas count??

32. something that gets on your nerves - when ppl dont use a coaster like bitch my tables.... also when someone reblogs one of those ‘in the tags put ur x and x...’ but they dont tag anything??? whats the point

33. most visited website - google calendar... i have 4 different calendars but thats a story for another time

34. hair color - dark brownish

35. long or short hair - medium at the moment.... stops right under my tiddy

36. do you have a crush on someone - yes and i hate it

37. what do you like about yourself - i’m positive sometimes maybe

38. want any piercings? - yes!! im getting another ear piercing but i kinda want my belly button pierced tbh lfgjnslfigvpwrg and lowkey want to pierce my nose ala brown gorl but idk

39. blood type - no clue eofvoirjv i think maybe its a or b or ab

40. nicknames - am, ....assorted other insults and etc

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - gemini

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - b99!!!! 100%!!! i also love bones omfg fvjodijdfvdfvd blease all crime shows are my shit... oo also stranger things

45. tattoos - no but i want

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - just my ears as of now

49. sport - no sport. only study.

50. vacation - okay this is. lame but i have this dream of going to japan and seeing the cherry blossoms with someone 🤧oh but i also want to go to france

51. trainers - i love heels and stuff but.... my converse

more general

52. eating - im a WHORE for a parfait

53. drinking - depends on my mood...

54. i’m about to watch - nothing rlly i like podcasts more than shows lately

55. waiting for - exo?? where r they

56. want - a kn*t fdoceof kidding! uhh good grades?? ofvogdvfjnodf

57. get married - yeah i think

58. career - o bitch

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller. i drank my milk but got nothing

62. older or younger - older.....

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship lmao

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant... i dont like making decisions or doing things

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - no??

68. lost glasses - no im careful with them

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart - hope not

72. had your heart broken - sure i guess

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - no

do you believe in

76. yourself - sure

77. miracles - mmmm idk

78. love at first sight - uhhhhh maybe... infatuation at first sight??

79. santa claus - yes

80. kiss on a first date - sure do what u want

81. angels - yes im living proof

other

82. best friend’s name - i dont rlly have like one best friend

83. eye color - brown

84. fave movie - stop um httyd is a classic but harry potter movies are good too. ooh all marvel movies ummm ragnarok changed me

85. fave actor - ooh bitch idk :((((( andy samberg?? jake gyllenhaal??

I tag @pcys-l @hakmyeon @lofiloey @loeycoaster @emperorzyx

#amna.txt #tag game #this took so long bc i kept fucking contemplating my answers #pdfjpvfodigv #anyways dont do it if you dont want to!!#thanks im lov u all

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eelssauce · 6 years

Text

soft bias asks

tagged by @jenostransbf

who is your bias?

Johnny Seo :3c

what made you notice him?

I believe some lame ass joke he made in one of the early nct life vids sdjvndfjkvnkdfjvndf

what’s your favorite thing about him?

oof, hes so happy and positive??? like the members saying hes so optimistic its a problem and him saying he loves waking up, which is the exact opposite of me tbfh, just makes me love him so much more????? like it love that sm!!! it fills my heart with light and joy hhhhhhhhh im gay

who would initiate skinship more?

at first he would, but when i get comfortable its cuddling for his ass

who would hog blankets more?

he would djsnkjsdvndjvsdc

who would be more clingy?

me for sure lul

who would say I love you first?

him, id stress over saying it first or too early or messing it up pls

who would be more easily flustered?

hmmmm,,,,,,,, him??? he gets easily flustered by compliments but i also get flustered easily so idk???

what cuddling position would you two have?

guess id adapt to whatever he wanted/was most comfortable with, ive never really cuddled so i dont know

which colors remind you of him and why?

blues, bc of his whale plushie he loves so much jfknjfdfsdgkjsdn

which season would you like to spend with him?

Fall?? idk why just rlly love the fall, hes super cute in like sweaters and fall attire

who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter?

both, for both probably, i love baking and he said he wanted to make cookies from scratch before so we’d do that n have a little bit of batter

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

he’d make all the puns and i’d laugh or smile probably

who wants to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

probably him, i like reptiles more dfjvndjfvnkdjfvnjfsf

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

id say id burn the kitchen down but im fairly good at cooking when i have directions/recipe in front of me/i know how to cook it yknow?

who likes to lean over on train railings and who has to pull them back?

hed probably lean over and id pull him back tbh

what would watching a horror film with him be like?

he doesnt seem to be too affected by them, so id do what i do and try not to flinch at jump scares but im also not affected by them too much either

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

either wed both be cheesy flirt or hed be smooth, id be cheesy

who is more competitive?

lul him, i try not to be competitive tbh hhhhhhhhh

who would have to be given constant reminders (to eat, not forget something, etc.)

me PLS i forget to eat and take care of myself all the time and shit i need reminders

who sends memes and who sends cute “I miss you” texts at 3 a.m.?

me lul, im up at all hours usually and im too gay

im not gonna tag anyone but if u wanna do it, just say i tagged you

#tag #tag game #darry.txt

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blossom-hwa · 4 years

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Swing anon! :) (i see you got another nice anon message but it wasn't from me lol) This part was so good! You're masterful at building subtle suspense, and the way you write conflict makes it easy to follow. I understand everyone's motivations, and why they say/do harmful things to one another, but it still hurts when thinking of what each character is going through. Also, stark's dialogue was so believable and him-sounding lol

I also noticed the lil lines you've included alluding to the growing feelings btwn mark and y/n ;) they dont feel rushed though and I love the platonic care they have for one another. They're just 2 crime fighting bros before anything else lol. I'm sad about waiting another 6 days for the next part, but your writing is worth it!! Lina does it again!!!!! :) - z

anon I literally FUCKING LOVE YOU you’re so awesome (I'm so sorry I got you mixed up with that last anon hhhhhh I DIDN’T MEAN TO I JUST KNOW YOU COMMENT EACH TIME AND IT MAKES MY HEART WARM I’M SORRY)

I’m really glad you love the suspense and stuff!! Tbh the balance was difficult for me to set at first because I kept thinking some things were too much or other things were too little and I’m glad you think it worked :) also IT’S KILLING ME THAT MARKY/N HASN’T HAPPENED YET AND I’M THE FUCKING WRITER. BEFORE ALL THEY ARE B R O S BUT. GOD DAMN THEY NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER HHHHHHHHH

as for stark’s dialogue I literally took it all almost verbatim from Captain America Civil War (the scenes a) where he picked up Peter Parker and b) the airport fight) so that’s why it sounds like him LMAO it’s not all verbatim, just most of it and a lot of the meaning is the same?? idk he’ll have a slightly bigger role in the later chapters, especially the epilogue, so we’ll see more of him then :) be forewarned that I took MUCH inspiration from a lot of irondad/spiderson fics I’ve read so Tony is very lovable. He’s softer and deserves the world, NO ONE is allowed to tell me otherwise (I’ll fight to the fucking death for him)

#lina answers #nas #z anon #anyway this turned into me rambling but. WHATEVER

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