#i like cried twice and then picked up my ipad and did my best | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

your name: Stephanie. do you like to shoot pool?: I’ve never played pool. are you any good?: what is the scariest movie you ever saw?: Hmm. I’m not sure what horror film gets the scariest movie title. I love horror films, but I haven’t been really scared by one in a long time. the funniest?: That’s tough, too.

the saddest?: I’m not good at this haha. do you daydream?: Yeah. My wanders and drifts a lot. do you dream at night?: Yeah. We all do, it's just sometimes we don't remember them. <<< I rarely remember them. Sometimes I will briefly, but then it’s gone. It has to really affect me or something for me to remember. A lot of my dreams are just so random and weird. do you remember them? Care to share?: ^^^ when you're sick, do you like to be pampered, or left alone?: It’s definitely nice to be taken care of, but I do like to sleep a lot when I’m sick so it’s a bit of both. who's the better actor, jack nicholson or anthony hopkins?: I don’t know, they’re both good at the creepy. are you superstitious?: Nah. I do the knock on wood thing, but it’s really just out of habit at this point cause I’ve done it so long. how many pictures are in your wallet?: The only photo in my wallet is my ID. do you like getting pictures taken?: No. if someone cries while watching a sad movie..do you laugh at them?: Nooo. Not sure why that’d be funny. I don’t even acknowledge it, I just let them have their moment. I’m probably too into the movie to really notice anyway. how often do you change your sheets?: Twice a month. is you bedroom upstairs or down?: We only have one floor. is it true blood is thicker than water?: Sadly, not always. Some people have toxic families. if you could wish someone out of your life ..who would it be?: The only people in my life currently are my family and I wouldn’t wish any of them out of my life! I’m here because of them. if you could be with anyone in the world..famous or not..who would it be?: It’s best that I’m single. are you high maintenance?: No. if you could change one thing in the world..what would it be: No violence. if you could star in any movie..which would it be?: One with Alexander Skarsgard where I play his girlfriend. haha. deliveryman at your door..who's the package from?: *shrug* I didn’t order anything. if you could completely change who you are..would you?: I’d change a lot that’s for sure. if you could live in a fairytale..which would it be?: Alice in Wonderland. if you could live in the past..where would it be?: I just wanna go back to the 90s, honestly. if you could see only one person right now..who would it be?: I’d love to see my grandma again. :( do you wear shoes in the house?: No. do you dream in color or black and white?: In color. what is your favorite accent?: British accents and some southern ones. do you like sunsets or sunrises?: Both are beautiful. what age did you find out santa wasn't real?: I think I was 8. do you write poetry/songs/stories?: Nope. do you wear socks with sandals?: No. I never wear sandals. would you marry for money?: Absolutely not. do you have any "in the mood" music you like to listen to?: Haha there are some songs where I’ve thought it would be a song to do the deed to. :X would you vote for a woman president?: If she was a good candidate in my own personal opinion, yeah. <<<< This. I want to vote for someone who I feel can do the best job. Their gender has nothing to do with it. Are looks/appearances really important?: I can’t say it doesn’t matter at all, but it’s not the most important. what are you most looking forward to?: There isn’t anything coming up. if someone lied to you and came clean is that forgivable?: I could forgive them most likely in time, but whether we remain friends or close is another story. It really depends on what the lie was. if you had to repeat a day over and over again..what day would you pick?: Ugh, my life already feels like that. It’s like Groundhog’s Day. Even a good day I wouldn’t want to repeat forever. When you die, do you want to be cremated or buried? Cremated. Did/do you like high school? Parts of it I liked. Do you like to play video games? Some. I’m always down for Mario games. Do you like Final Fantasy? Which one do you prefer of all? I’ve never played. My brothers loves that series, though. It does look interesting. Have you ever caught on fire? The tips of my hair did once while blowing out birthday candles :X Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah, but I don’t upload. I use it to subscribe to channels and leave comments if I want. Do you ever go to video game arcades? No. Do you care what people think of you? Yes and no. Not as much as I used to, but that’s not because I’ve become a confident person or anything. I just don’t have the energy to care. I’ve become numb to it I guess. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nope. Do you like Lady Gaga? I like some of her songs. Don’t you hate when your foot falls asleep? I don’t have that problem, but I hate when my hand or arm falls asleep. Do you think you have been in love before? Yes. Do you write poetry? No. I dabbled with it briefly my sophomore year in high school, though. They’re super cringe looking back on them. Do you like Edgar Allan Poe? I liked The Tell-Tale Heart. Have you ever met anyone famous? If so, who? Jamie Lee Curtis and Drake Bell. Have you ever gotten hit on by some creeper? Yeah, a few. Do you watch LifeTime? My mom and I used to all the time back in the day when I was younger. Now we do every once and awhile, usually if there’s nothing else on of interest. What happens is once you start one movie, you end up watching the rest of the day. Do you bless random people when they sneeze? Sometimes. Do you have a short temper? No. I get irritated quite easily, though. Do you like Sarah Dessen? Yeah, I’ve read a few of her books. Do you want to have children? If so, how many? No. Have you ever had a yard sale? No. Do you go to Barnes and Noble for books, the library or someplace else? I use the Kindle app, honestly. I have access to a ton of books. If I wanted a physical copy; though, I’d go to Barnes and Noble. Do you have an iPad? Nope. Are you scared to die? Yes. Do you go to church every Sunday? I watch the videos the church near me uploads every Sunday. Have you ever called one of those Hot Line numbers? No. I can’t believe those are still a thing. I see the commercials for them still. Do you think you draw well? Ha, no. I can’t draw for shit. Have you ever wanted to be a meteorologist? No. Do you like Taylor Swift? I’m not a fan.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

2 notes · View notes

angel-ishme-blog · 6 years

Text

Plane Ride

G E N R E : Angst

W O R D C O U N T : 1 9 2 7

W A R N I N G: It’s angst so death, suicide, crying, suicide notes

S U M M A R Y : A father is always in a totally different country to work and he’s always video calling to see his family. During the christmas holday he promises to come home and see his kids and wife, but then there’s a delay.

"Baby, when will you be home?"

"I promise I'll be home for the holidays. That's only a day away, okay?"

His wife frowned and pushed back strands of her almond hair. They were on a video call and it was lagging badly like most video calls did, but it was the only way they could talk to each other from miles apart.

"I promise I'll be home tomorrow and then we can just do something together. Something special. We can go out to eat and watch a movie without the kids, how does that sound?" He was speaking so quickly he wasn't even sure she heard him, but it was important she knew he would be home for Christmas. He had promised everyone that.

She stayed silent and kept frowning, her eyes darting to the sleeping baby in her lap. He couldn't tell if it was lagging that bad that she wasn't saying anything, or she really was not talking.

"Hey, hey, don't be upset. It's only one more day and then I'll be home and you can get a break from the kids for a while, okay? Go to your mothers' house for today I'm sure she'd love to see them, and then maybe for Christmas dinner, we can go to that restaurant you've always wanted to go to, how does that sound?"

She gave him a small smile and slowly nodded. She looked unsure but that could have been video acting slow. "Where's my cookie at?" He asked and pretended to look around. His wife held up a finger, telling him to wait a minute and laid the baby on the floor before getting up and not being seen on the camera.

He watched the tiny baby boy, that was bundled up in a soft blue blanket, sleeping peacefully. He had been late to see his son's birth, and he wasn't there to see his son open his eyes for the first time. He had even missed seeing his son turn three months old, but for once he didn't feel bothered about missing more important moments now that he could just see the tiny baby breathing softly.

He hoped his son was dreaming of his daddy come home and hold him tight for the first time.

His wife came back seconds after the moment that he and his son had and sat down with a toddler in her lap.

He grinned. "Cookie!"

The toddler grabbed the ipad from her mother and let out a high-pitched squeal when she saw her father. To the toddler, her daddy was right there in front of her and he was glad she was still young enough to not tell the difference.

"Daddy!" The little girl kissed the ipad and her mother had to quietly scold her for doing that.

He chucked. "Hey, she's just giving me a kiss!"

"She's going to smudge the ipad." She said flatly.

"Hey, dear are you-"

"Daddy come home?" The toddler interrupted.

He nodded and his daughters face lit up.

"I'm coming home tomorrow cookie, so you have to take care of your mommy for one more day."

She bobbed her tiny head up and down, looking as serious as a two-year-old could be, "Cookie care of mommy." she gripped onto her mother's wrist.

"Now look what you've done, she's not gonna let go until dinner." The mother of the little toddler gently kissed her daughter's head as if she was going to break.

He quietly laughed, but he was aching to be there right now and throw his daughter in the air to make her laugh, or cradle his son and worry he might drop him. Even just kiss his wife and make his daughter scrunch her nose in disgust and scream, 'You can't eat mommy! Food only!'.

One more day.

"I best big sistah." The tiny girl said proudly, holding the ipad tightly and away from her mother. "Here, go play with your toys I'm sure daddy has to go soon and pack." The mother shooed her away. "Love daddy!" The toddler screamed and got off her mother's lap as fast as her little legs could move.

He silently watched as his wife carefully picked up the sleeping baby and held him with her free hand, causing him to stir and wake up. His eyes fluttered open and within two seconds of the tiny baby recognizing his father's face, he smiled.

The mother's face was blank, but even her eyes widened the slightest bit. The father told himself not to cry, but he couldn't help wiping a few tears away from his face. Not only was that the first time his son ever smiled, that was the one time he was able to experience seeing his only son do something for the first time, for him.

The mother wrapped the baby boy more in the blanket. Her arms were shaking and her lips were parted.

Worry started to cloud his mind. "What's wrong? Why are you shaking?"

"Nothing, it's just..this is such a special moment." She smiled at her husband and pushed her hair to the sides of her face again to hide her dusted pink cheeks.

He watched her struggle for a moment to push her hair in a certain direction and slowly said, "Are you sure that's it?"

She nodded unsurely again. "Yeah. My ipad's battery is about to die and I need to put the kids down for a nap. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

The rest of the day passed smoothly. He packed his stuff within an hour or two and then spent the rest of the day anxiously watching tv and checking his phone in case someone called him, but no one called him which was a relief. He couldn't handle seeing his kids till he got home.

The next day, he woke up way earlier than expected which gave him plenty of time to get ready and look good. He felt jittery and his stomach felt fluttery thinking about seeing his wife again. It was like he was going on a first date with her all over again.

Half an hour before he was supposed to get to the airport he gripped onto the handle of the suitcase and trudged out the door. The suitcase seemed a lot heavier than when he first traveled and maybe that was because he had bought tons of stuff to surprise his family. He wanted to say sorry for being gone for months- years.

The airport wasn't too far, so he walked. It gave him time to think about how excited his little Cookie would be, and how his son would get to enjoy his daddy holding him for the very first time.

Arriving at the airport, he had to go through security and everyone knows that security is always tiring but he didn't even mind it this time. He was too excited to let it ruin his day.

Right after he was done with security someone talked into the speakers that surrounded the airport and blasted an announcement. His heart sank as the lady talked.

"Hello everyone! I hope you're having a wonderful day today, as the weather is beautiful and there's no rain. However, plane A-80 will be delayed till tonight because of the holidays. Thank you for your patience."

Delayed? He wouldn't be able to get home till the next day, and he had promised he'd get home today. He took out his phone and shakily dialed his wife's phone. No answer.

Please leave your message at the beep.

It was weird no one answered. Usually, if his wife didn't answer then Cookie would. They were probably out for Christmas and he wouldn't be able to get a hold of any of them until tomorrow.

He slumped into a vacant seat and kept calling his wife.

Please leave your message at the beep.

Even though he was about to go up and beg to get on another plane he knew he couldn't and the only option was to wait.

Hours later, at eleven at night, he was finally able to board the plane. There were almost no empty seats from how full the plane was so he had to squeeze in.

He looked down at his phone. Not one returned call.

Were they angry at him because he couldn't keep his promise? He really did try. It wasn't even his fault. If he could have done something he would have. He had to make this up to them.

The plane ride went as well as it could go when you're squished between people. Any babies crying, he imagined as his son and at one time during the ride, a little kid no older than his daughter waved at him and he almost cried. He longed to see his family.

He arrived at the airport at five in the morning. He barely slept during the ride because of how guilty he was so on the way out, he bought a bouquet of white roses and a stuffed teddy bear twice the size of Cookie.

He started running to the house. A cab might have been faster, but he didn't want another delay. He just wanted to hug his family.

His legs ached when he reached the door but he had to ignore the pain. He quietly grabbed his keys and turned the lock, walking as quietly as he could on the hardwood floor.

The house was completely dark and silent. It seemed unusual since kids are pretty loud, especially if you have two.

He walked down the hallway, not a person to be seen. He had to remember there was a chance they were still at his mother-in-law's house and not to start making assumptions. He'd just take a cab this time, and go to her house.

Before he could head out, a note lying neatly on the corner table caught his attention. It was probably a grocery list but it was always good to make sure.

He picked up the note and skimmed through it, but instead of a list of groceries, there was a familiar cursive handwriting his wife used a lot.

I know you tried hard.

Did he?

But I can't live like this, and neither can our kids.

His bag, packed with little presents, that was sitting on his shoulder now fell hard on to the floor.

I love you lots, you know that.

Don't cry for this. It'll make the kids sad.

His hands shook as he skimmed through the rest of the two-page long letter. His heart raced and his breath was erratic now.

I know you never meant to be late, or lie accidentally, or miss the children's birthday.

They love and miss you a lot, and we all forgive you.

He wanted to wait till he got home to tell them that he'd be staying home forever now and that he wouldn't leave them again

This wasn't meant to hurt you.

He choked back a sob.

Don't cry.

Salty tears fell on the letter and ruined the paper. He didn't realize he was crying till the tears rolled down his face and stained his cheeks.

He quietly sobbed and shakily closed the letter, a child-like person was drawn on the front of the paper as well as a smiley face.

It wasn't a to-do list it was a suicide note. She killed herself and took their children with her.

And then 9-1-1 was called.

#writing #angst #planeride #writing angst #story #short story #suicide #death #suicide note

18 notes · View notes

whydontwe-fanfics · 7 years

Text

The ‘L’ Word (J.A)

Description: You accidentally tell Jack you love him and he grows distant afterward.

Warning(s): angst

Word Count: 1.6k

---

You sat in the front passenger seat of Jonah's car, which was being driven by Jack that night. He was driving you home in the aftermath of the date night you both had endured half an hour before. His right hand held yours as you both dramatically sang to random songs that played on the radio. He'd reach over and cover your mouth with his free hand so he could sing louder, and even licking his palm wouldn't make him move away. Laughs and giggles filled the car and by the time you guys pulled up to your home, you didn't want to leave his side. "I don't wanna go inside," you complain, sinking into your seat and turning to your boyfriend with a small pout on your lips. "You do this every time," he rolls his eyes with a small grin. "I know," you huff, unbuckling your seat belt and reaching back to the back seats to grab your messenger bag. When you moved to sit back down, Jack surprised you with a kiss on your lips, taking your jaw into the palm of his hand as he reeled you in closer. You didn't object to the action, returning the kiss instantly, dropping your bag onto your lap before bringing your hands up to embrace him. A smile broke out on both of your lips when you pulled away from each other, hands still touching the other's faces. "I love you." And you went to sleep that night thinking one thing. He didn't say it back.

---

It's been four days. No texts, no calls... nothing. You hadn't cried yet, but you knew eventually the tears would shed. You felt rejected in the worse way possible and it hurt like hell. You and Jack had been dating for about a year now. You had lived in L.A long before he had, and when you both met, thanks to Logan, your cousin who lived three buildings away from you, an immediate connection took place. Ever since then, you and Jack have been connected at the hip. So when you told Jack that you loved him, you were as serious as ever. You loved him with all of your heart and you wanted him to know that. But now all you can feel is regret. You knew that if you hadn't uttered those three words nothing would've changed between you and him. You wouldn't have spent the night before staring at your ceiling with furrowed eyebrows and a frown inked onto your face. "What's wrong, Sunshine?" You dad asked you as he made his way out of the storage unit in the back of the store. You picked your head up from your view of the notebook placed beside the cash register, your hand pausing, putting a halt to your sketch. "What? Why would you think something's wrong?" You asked, raising a single eyebrow. "You have that lost puppy look on your face," your dad places the box of recycled tech on the table. "Is it because of Jack? I haven't seen him around in a while-" "It's not because of Jack, Dad. I'm fine," you shrugged, turning back to your sketchbook and doodling away on the paper. "Okay then," he shrugged. "I'm gonna go put these in the trunk. Could you sort the others in the back for me?" "Who's gonna work up front?" You ask. "I'll be back if I see a customer," you dad said before picking the box up again and exiting through the front door, the bells jingling at the top. You sigh before closing your notebook and heading to the back of the store you, your dad and grandpa owned. It was a crossover of a pawn and thrift shop for technology. It wasn't the most successful but it was enough to pay your bills. A sigh left your lips as you pulled a cardboard box off of the top shelf, grunting at the heaviness of the package. You set that and three other boxes on the floor. You whipped your head up to the doorway of the room when you hear a soft knock on the wood. Your eyes come in contact with Jack, who stood there with his hands in his jacket pockets. A few seconds of silence passed over the two of you before you scoff aloud and turn back to the boxes, kneeling before them and cutting them up with knives. "Hey," you heard him, but you didn't say anything back. You couldn't find anything to say. If anything, you knew the second you say something you'd blow up. The room went silent again, besides the sound of clinking and clicking as you went through the first box that was filled with broken phones and tablets. You began to take each and every one of them out, pressing the buttons trying to see if any of them would turn on. "I stopped by your house, but you weren't there," he said. You stayed quiet. "I've missed you." You roll your eyes. "You gonna say something?" "God forbid I do. Maybe you'll go ignoring me for another week," you mutter. "Y/N-" "What do you want, Jack?" You finally look up at him. "I told you I loved you. You obviously don't feel the same. Stop dancing around the subject." "I don't-" he couldn't even find the words to say. "I didn't mean to-" "I really don't care," you utter, not thinking twice about all the interrupting you've been doing. "Y/N just listen to me," Jack pleaded, taking a few more steps in. "I'm sorry. You just caught me by surprise." "Is that your excuse for avoiding me?" You raise a single eyebrow. "No. No, it's not. I don't know what came over me when you said... when you said you loved me," Jack mumbled. "I do," you dusted your hands before rising straight up onto your feet. You turned to the shelves behind you, taking another box and placing it beside the other one on the floor. "The feelings aren't reciprocated. And I get that. What I don't get is why you had to decline all my calls, ignore my texts and completely dodge me when all you had to say was that you don't feel the same way. Yeah, it may hurt but the fact is it hurt even more than if you went ended your relationship without even telling me," you ramble, your eyes growing glossy as you feel the burn of oncoming tears at the back of your head. "It's not that I don't feel the same way. Lord knows how much you mean to me. I just... I don't know, I guess I panicked." "Over me loving you?" The word 'love' felt foreign in your mouth. You've said it a million times to your family and best friends, but meaning it at a different level like this one wasn't normal. "I've been in relationships before, okay? And they hadn't worked out so well-" "So you think ours won't? Because I'm starting to see that in our near future, too." You didn't mean it, and you knew that. You weren't too sure if he did, though. "I'm not saying that," he takes another step forward. "I'm saying that I was just taking precautions." "We've been together for a year," you confront, agitation clear in your tone. "I know that. Trust me, and I don't regret it. You know about my girlfriends before you. I've been cheated on, dumped out of nowhere-" "Yeah, well now you can tell everyone that you broke my heart before I could've had the chance to break yours," you quickly say, not looking up at him. "Y/N," he sounded desperate. "Can you please leave?" "I'm not going until you understand what I'm trying to get at," he objects. "Jack-" you cut yourself off when you see his shadow come closer - close enough for him to reach out and pull you into a hug if he wanted to.

"I'm gonna say this again, and I'll say it as many times as I have to until you get what I want you to hear. I panicked, and even I can't deny that. You are one of the most important things in my life and you mean the world to me. I was stupid and made a huge mistake by avoiding you, and I still don't know why that was my backlash to you telling me you love me. So, once again, I panicked - over you loving me and me loving you. And how I would tell you that I love you, too."

You froze, your eyes staying put on the cracked iPad in your hands. You didn't want to ask him to repeat what he said because in your head it was too good to be true. "I love you, too, Y/N, and I regret not telling you that in the car outside of your house that night."

You still didn't speak, paralyzed with relief and unsureness.

"Please, just look at me," he pleaded, slowly kneeling in front of you. Your heart began to pound faster when his hands brushed against yours as he took the iPad out of your hands, only for him to take yours right into his. It was like the first time you guys went on a date and he grabbed your hand - as cliche as it is, butterflies taking over the inside of you. "I'm sorry, and you need to know that."

Your eyes briefly glance up to meet his before they go back to staring at the floor in front of you. Letting out a small sigh, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a hug, to which he instantly hugs you back, taking you into his arms and embracing you.

"I know you are," you mutter, feeling his arms temporarily tighten around you.

"I'm an idiot," he says.

"Yeah, you are," you mumble.

---

Masterlist | Request Here

485 notes · View notes

raychulemma · 4 years

Text

50 Completely Random Questions People Rarely Ask Tag:

1. What’s your favorite candle scent? Red Apple Wreath - Yankee Candle. It's perfectly Autumnal and always goes on half price sale after Christmas. I have far too many versions of it

2. What female celebrity do you wish you were related to? Probably Maya Rudolph because she's a shameless weirdo like me

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? Probably Peter Kay. I feel like he would be easy to open up to. And he would make awkward family events so much more bearable

4. What’s your favorite thing about marriage? (And if you’re not married, what’s your favorite thing about being single?) Security. Safety. I didn't expect it to feel any different because we had been living together for a while but something about the actual marriage made me feel protected and comfortable. Also because its a same-sex marriage it's a lot nicer to say my wife than my fiancée, because i would wonder if they assume my fiancée is male

5. What’s one thing you own that you should probably get rid of, but just can’t? Books that I'm not going to re-read but have memories linked to buying/receiving/reading them.

6. Can you do a split? not a chance

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Seven. i learnt at the end of my road because it's a dead end. and i got a green bike for my birthday with a seat for my teddy

8. How many oceans have you swam in? just the Atlantic ocean 🌊

9. How many countries have you been to? 6. France, Spain, Germany, USA (Florida), Wales, Scotland.

10. Is anyone in your family in the army? No, my Grandad was, and some of my Great Uncles but no one during my lifetime

11. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? Superted, Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, The Story of Tracy Beaker, Dick n Dom in da Bungalow, Jungle Run

12. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? A classy binbag witch

13. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? I got into the Harry Potter books in 1998 and am still in love with the series. I went to the midnight release for the last book. I watched all of the films in the opening week and vividly remember that the cinema i saw the first film at in 2001 had a Harry Potter themed sweet shop. I have jewellery, clothing, books, dvds, wands, other collectibles. I read the books with my mum when i was younger and watched all of the films in the cinema with her. she had her own HP merch. My wife also loves Harry Potter. We have been to see Cursed Child twice and have been to the Studio Tour 3 (or 4?) times. We had a Harry Potter themed wedding which was absolutely perfect. Hunger Games was something i avoided reading until the first film was coming out, and then absolutely loved the first 2 books (3rd one got too political for me) and the films are still some of my favourites for costume and set design. I read the twilight books after my best friend recommended them to me. We all actually read them as part of our sisterhood club. I went to blackpool to watch the first film in the cinema with my best friend. I watched the last one at midnight with my wife and one of the girls from the sisterhood who is one of the biggest twilight fans i know still. she has behind the scenes books and dvds and has re read the books that much that the spines are just gone. my mum was also a big twilight fan and would watch them any time they were on tv. i watched a few at the cinema with her, always her choice. she hadnt seen hunger games at the time of them being released but we did watch them all with her a few years ago

14. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? i film YouTube videos and always think my accent would be more interesting if it was American

15. Have you ever taken karate lessons? no, my 2 brothers and sister did when i was 5 or 6. i didnt like being touched so never did it

16. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? yup

17. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? im going to guess Gullivers world Warrington because its the closest one to where i live

18. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? French because I love disneyland paris. or japanese because i would love to visit tokyo but its way out of my comfort zone

19. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? grey. e for england, a for america

20. Do you know triplets? yes, 2 girls and a boy but i only met the girls

21. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Titanic. my mum was a massive fan. She watched it 3 times in the cinema when it first came out. we watched it with her when it was released in imax on an anniversary. she had behind the scenes books, a few versions of the vhs and dvds, playing cards. her love for it made me love it

22. Have you ever had Indian food? no im a very fussy eater and have never tried indian or Chinese

23. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? Of all time? Tough choice but im going with pizza hut. Cheesy bites base with double mushroom. Never craved something more

24. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? they dont have it in England so no but i would probably like it

25. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? i have no idea, maybe jason after my dad?

26. If you have a nickname, what is it? rach, chicken, chickadee

27. Who’s your favorite person in the world? i want to say scruff but shes technically not a person. kirsty is my best friend and i would pick her every time

28. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? where i live is in between. drive one way and its city, the other way is farms. so living in one ot those farmhouses not far from city life would be the dream. i would have chickens, sheep and cats.

29. Can you whistle? yep but my cats hate the noise

30. Do you sleep with a nightlight? i can see the hallway light from where our bed is so i dont generally need a nightlight but we do have cute ones. i have 3 HP ones on my bedside table

31. Do you eat breakfast every morning? yea as long as i have time

32. How many times have you been to the hospital? ive only ever been to a&e. once for palpitations, a few times for mental health and once for an x ray on my hand. ive been to walk in centres for urine/kidney infections and for fractured fingers. oh i did go to hospital to see a neurologist to be diagnosed with essential tremor

33. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? yes i love it. my brother and sister both bought me the dvd for christmas the year it came out so i had 2 copies for a while. i also had the game for pc and ps2. and i had a game on my phone and ipad where you could build up the seabed and gain fish. the film is just so nice and calming to watch. the scenery, the sound effects, the movements are all just gently flowing. and somehow you get attached to these characters and root for them whether youre a fan of tropical fish or not.

34. Where do you buy your jeans? primark, next, sainsburys, asda

35. What’s the last compliment you got? kirsty said my eyelashes look like im wearing mascara when im not

36. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? yea and they're weird as fuck. the latest one was about the bath being clogged with poo

37. Favorite beverage that isn’t water? Tea ☕

38. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? a disgusting amount. maybe 20. maybe more

39. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? about 8 which I think wasnt too young or too old. my brother told me which I was glad about because i was prone to being bullied at school and would have hated to be told by nasty kids

40. What is one food that you used to hate but now you love? cheesy garlic bread WTF

41. What is a weird lie you’ve told? i told kirsty once that i had pood the bed and asked her to help me clean it.

42. Heels or flats? flats always. specifically trainers. i think dresses look so much cuter with trainers. same with suits

43. Do you have any weird phobias? no just common ones. moths, spiders, flying insects, beetles, heights, being completely isolated, finding a dead person

44. What is a phrase or word you always say? i cant actually think of a current phrase i say but i do get stuck on phrases

45. What is a song that you bast or belt out when you are alone? part of your world, let it go, bridge over troubled water, over the rainbow. any that i try to actually hit the notes on

46. What is one of your biggest pet peeves? nails. nails tapping, and the sound of cutting or biting nails. or people that stop in the middle of an aisle or walkway when you're trying to get past

47. Do you sleep with your closet door open or closed? they dont even have doors on yet so open

48. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? bear. the noise of bees terrifies me. i had a flying ant in my hair on flying ant day but i didnt know. i heard it buzz and cried

49. Do you have any weird things you do? i cant have 2 cream biscuits together (custard cream and jam n cream). i sometimes say hi to my teddies so they know i havent forgot about them. i buy hatchimals when theyre on sale even though i havent previously collected them cos im an impulsive pos. (honestly collecting animal jam figures and my little ponies were the best though)

50. What movie could you watch over and over again and still love? any of the harry potter films, titanic, sisterhood of the travelling pants, Princess diaries 1 and 2, enchanted, princess and the frog, raise your voice, catch me if you can, chalet girl, the shining, slumdog millionaire

0 notes

robbinsarizonas · 7 years

Text

Tag Game!

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people i was tagged by @only-freakin-sunflowers who is amazing and knows I love these things xD Thankyou Belle <3

i tag anyone who sees this and wants to do it :)

the last: 1. drink: Ribena 

2. phone call: My mum 

3. text message: My dad

4. song you listened to: Hail The Queen - East of Eli 

5. time you cried: I don’t know some time in the past few days

have you ever: 6. dated someone twice: Nope

 7. kissed someone and regretted it: I haven’t been kissed anyone ever xD

 8. been cheated on: Nope. 

9. lost someone special: Yes 

10. been depressed: Feeling wise, yes. Mental illness wise, yes. 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never even had alcohol so xD

3 favorite colors: 12. Navy Blue 13. Dark Green 14. Purple

in the last year have you: 15. made new friends: Um I don’t know, I’ve met new people? 

16. fallen out of love: Nope. 

17. laughed until you cried: Not for a while, I think the last time was at a stupid meme on here xD 

18. found out someone was talking about you: Probably. 

19. met someone who changed you: I love you twinsie <3 

20. found out who your friends are: Yes.

 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope.

general: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don’t use Facebook anymore. 

23. do you have any pets: A cat named Twinkle, and I’m supposed to be getting a bunny but that’s been happening for a whole year now so who knows xD 

24. do you want to change your name: Nope. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I worked, I cried, life was great xD 

26. what time did you wake up: 11am

 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Probably watching something on my iPad. I know I watched Doubt at 1.

 28. name something you can’t wait for: I don’t think like that cause I worry things aren’t gonna happen xD 

31. what are you listening to right now: Watching Doubt :D

 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes I used to be friends with two Tom’s in Primary School and then there was a Tom in my advisory in Secondary School. 

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Life. Mental illness. Physical illness. A lot of things. 

34. most visited website: Tumblr probably. 

35. hair colour: I don’t even know any more. It’s not quite brown but it’s not any other colour either? 

36. long or short hair: Right now my hair is awfully long and I hate it I just wanna grab scissors and cut it all off.

 39. piercings: Two on both ears. 

40. blood type: No idea at all.

 41. nicknames: Izzy is a nickname, but a lot of people call me Iz too.

 42. relationship status: Single

 43. zodiac: Cancer or Gemini depending on where you look. 

44. pronouns: She/Her 

45. favourite tv show: Grey's, Arrow, Legends, Supergirl, The Flash.

 46. tattoos: None. 

47. right or left handed: Right

 48. surgery: Doctors went in to fix my bladder and nothing changed. 

49. piercing: Why is this question there twice?

 50. sport: I've done Trampolining, Ice Skating and Karate. 

51. vacation: New York City.

 52. pair of trainers: They're like brown and grey with green laces and they're super comfy

more general: 53. eating: Nothing right now. 

54. drinking: Nothing either.  

55. i’m about to: Watch another episode of Doubt this one literally just finished as I started typing for this question. 

56. waiting for: Nothing right now. 

57. want: Too many things. To be able to be okay again? 

58. get married: One day. 

59. career: I have no idea anymore.

which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs. 

61. lips or eyes: Eyes.

 62. shorter or taller: Well I don't think anyone could be shorter than me so you know xD

 63. older or younger: Doesn't matter, as long as it's not by a crazy amount. 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Both? But also, aren't stomachs all the same? Arms aren't. 

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship always. 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: Nope.

 68. drank hard liquor: Nope. 

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose everything Belle said in her answer 'it's hard to lose contacts' but I bet you I could do it. My glasses aren't lost right now though, I can see them on my chest of drawers.

 70. turned someone down: Nope. No one's ever asked me out xD 

71. sex on the first date: I don't think I'd rule it out? I haven't, cause I've never properly been with someone, but I feel if things feel right you've gotta go with that.

 72. broken someone’s heart: Nope.

 73. had your heart broken: Apparently. 

74. been arrested: Gosh no. 

75. cried when someone died: Yes. 

76. fallen for a friend: Yes.

do you believe in: 77. yourself: Never. 

78. miracles: Absolutely. 

79. love at first sight: Yes yes yes.

 80. santa claus: Not a kid anymore. 

81. kiss on the first date: Whatever feels right. 

82. angels: Not really. More Ghosts, even if we're talking about heaven. Grey people floating around. Not angels.

other: 83. current best friend’s name: My amazing twinsie is called Emilie <3

 84. eye colour: Brown

 85. favourite movie: Oh come on? I'm supposed to just pick one?

#me #about me

1 note · View note

leave-m3-alone-im-lonely · 5 years

Text

Today

I’ve brushed my teeth twice today. I’ve eaten 3 meals today. I’ve taken both my medications today. I cleaned the kitchen today. I wiped away tears today. I smiled today. I cried today. I gave my brother in law a high five today. I had a shower today. I washed my hair today. I shaved my legs today. I haven’t napped today. I haven’t panicked today. I’ve stayed in control today. For once.

You see, today wasn’t just like any other day, today was painful and scary and amazing and beautiful and so many other things in so many other ways. Today I held it together. I woke up on 2 hours sleep to see my sister off and take my nephew and little best friend to school. I wiped his tears and calmed his fears and got him ready to face whatever happened today, and he did. I treated myself to breakfast on my way home. I Skyped my mum. I cleaned the kitchen. I took the bins out. I washed up, numerous times. I did 2 loads of washing, hanging each out to dry. I picked my nephew and little best friend up from school, I spoke to him about the day. We went to buy mummy a card and a balloon for his new baby brothers that he would soon get to meet. I gave him my full attention for a while, I told him I loved him and how brave he is, we video called mummy to see her. We then answered the door to the delivery man and packed away the £120 food shop. I cooked tea, for the first time ever - everything was ready at the same time. I hurried him to get ready and wrote his card for mummy. I held his tiny hand while we walked to the bus stop, nearly missing it but we made it just in time. I told him how kind he was when he let everyone else off the bus before getting off, unprompted. We went to find mummy in the hospital. We gave her cuddles and saw the babies on the iPad screen. Then daddy came and took us to see them. I stood in awe at how someone so tiny could be so loving while not fully understanding the situation. I also fell in love today. Not only with my two beautiful new nephews. But with life again. It was only for a second but I realised I had something to stick around for. Visiting was soon over and we made our way home. We completed his reading book and although he’s very behind in school, he still tried his best to read the simple words. I gave him a snack and ran him a bath. His behaviour was out of control because he doesn’t understand how to express what he is feeling or even be able to pinpoint what he is feeling so he misbehaves. Maybe I lost my rag a little, only for a few moments but when he shouted back I realised that he was angry too. I changed my tone and got down to his level, I told him it was okay but it was time to get clean now and he let me use the nail brush to remove the eyeliner from under his nails that he’d used to decorate the house with this afternoon. He enjoyed the gentle ness of it tickling his fingers and asked that I do it on his back and the palms of his hands. He smiled and laughed and it almost made it worthwhile. There were a few tears when I washed his hair, you see he doesn’t like getting his face wet, or messy for that matter but they were soon calmed by a soothing voice, a dry towel and a cuddle. Then the bedtime saga began. It was time to get clothes out for tomorrow and get pyjamas on. He did that with minimal fuss but then pleaded with me to lay with him for a while. The cruel person inside me said no and that he needed to relax, knowing that he needed time in his own space to collect his thoughts. 10 minutes later he was asleep. That became my time. I decided to make some noodles and watch some shit tv. Then spent half an hour sat on the toilet seat scrolling through Facebook just taking in all that has happened today. I decided to run a bath. Like a proper bubble bath with candles and lights off. I was in there for an hour, during which time I managed to wash my hair AND safely shave my legs. I got my pyjamas on and went downstairs to speak to my brother-in-law. He told me how the twins are breathing on there own now at only a few hours old. How they let him and my sister hold them for the first time. How strong they are. How much they’re progressing in only a few hours. Then I had a drink and some snacks, took my nighttime meds and came upstairs, brushed my teeth for the second time today and here we are. In bed, thinking about the day.

You see, normally I wouldn’t be able to get up and face the day on such little sleep. I wouldn’t have had the strength to wave my sister off to the hospital. I wouldn’t have made it outside alone being a responsible adult. I wouldn’t have cooked a meal, or cleaned or showered. I wouldn’t have shaved my legs and I have been known to leave my hair that long between washes it has been stuck to my head. Because, self care isn’t something that comes naturally. Everyday is a constant battle and I have to decide where I am going to use my spoons most effectively. I get scared going out and need support to do so. I only really brush my teeth if is 100% necessary and I struggle to eat the smallest of meals and when I find myself hungry I spend too much money on takeaways because I don’t have the energy to cook. I normally forget my meds and it takes me a long time to calm down. But not today. Today was different.

Today I fell in love with two beautiful boys, I got to hold my first nephew close while he cried and was overwhelmed by all the changes of the day. I got the chance to prove to myself and everybody else that I can do this. And I did.

#actually bpd #personal #bipolar #recovery #longroad #worthit

0 notes

rosequartzharry · 7 years

Text

92 Truths

I was tagged by @jollystyles

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST…

1. Drink: Ice water

2. Phone Call: My mom

3. Text Message: my mom said “It’s about damn time”

4. Song You Listened To: (im not sure because i cant tell, so ill just put in my most listened to song on itunes) Focus - Ariana Grande

5. Time You Cried: Fuck if I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

6. Dated Someone Twice: No LOL

7. Been Cheated On: Not yet

8. Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Not yet

9. Lost Someone Special: Not yet

10. Been Depressed: Probably, idk

11. Gotten Drunk and Thrown Up: Never gotten drunk

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS…

12. Most shades of pink

13. Black

14. Most shades of blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made New Friends: Yes

16. Fallen Out of Love: Sadly, no. No matter how hard I try

17. Laughed Until You Cried: Yes

18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yes 👀

19. Met Someone Who Changed You: Yes

20. Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: Yes

21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook List: No

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know In Real Life: I have a lot of people from high school that I don't talk to anymore so idk

Do You Have Any Pets:

23. A ragdoll cat named Dude

24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: No

25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I think I went out to eat with my mom and my brother. I didn't do much of anything tbh.

26. What Time Did You Wake Up: 9 i think?

27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: Sleeping

28. Name Something You Cannot Wait For: Seeing Harry next year omg 😍

29. When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Mother: like 10 minutes ago

30. What Is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: I wish I could like let go of crushes easier, cause I tend to just be a patient ass bitch and like wait out the time period between me liking them and finding out they like me? Like the longest is currently like 6 years and counting and I hate it cause I wish I could use that time to work on some shit idk

31. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Im watching My Cat From Hell on my iPad lmao

32. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: My dads step dad

33. Something That Is Getting On Your Nerves: how cute Harry styles is

34. Most Visited Website: Tumblr

35. Elementary: I was bullied a lot so I tend to not like to really remember those days LOL

36. High School: It was fun while i was there, and I will DEFINITELY go back to visit, and I have. But I'm for sure only friends with very few people I knew in highschool

37. College/University: So far so good 🤷🏻‍♀️

38. Hair Color: Brown, but i dye it Dark Brown cause i wanna

39. Long Or Short Hair: Long, but i want it longer tbh

40. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: Yes

41. What Do You Like About Yourself: My ability to learn things quickly

42. Piercings: Ears

43. Blood Type: ??????its a mystery?

44. Nickname: Bay or B

45. Relationship Status: Single

46. Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

47. Pronouns: She/Her

48. Favorite TV Shows: KKWTK, Shameless, That 70′s Show, etc.

49. Tattoos: None yet

50. Right Or Left Hand: Right

51. Surgery: not that im aware of

52. Piercing: Ears

53. Sport: I used to do T-Ball, Soccer, and Gymnastics, but i was really little

54. Vacation: Maybe the ocean or some place with a beautiful landscape

55. Pair of Trainers: i have shitty ones that i bought for a week trip to disney land last year

57. Eating: nothing rn

58. Drinking: Water

59. I’m About To: watch TV

60. Listening To: My Cat From Hell on my iPad

61. Waiting For: My brother to get out of the bathtub so i can go pee lol

62. Want: a steady income lol

63. Get Married: I hope so

64. Career: hopefully something with music, whether its making it, or recording it like behind the soundboard

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or Kisses: depends on the person lol

66. Lips or Eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or Taller: Taller

68. Older or Younger: I prefer older

69. Nice Arms or Nice Stomach: ive always been an arms girl

70. Sensitive or Loud: i can deal with either lol

71. Hook Up or Relationship: Relationship

72. Troublemaker or Hesitant: i guess it depends idk

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. Kissed A Stranger: nah lol

75. Drank Hard Liquor: Yes

76. Lost Glasses/Contacts: Yes

77. Turned Someone Down: Yes

78. Sex On First Date: No

79. Broken Someone’s Heart: idk probably

80. Had Your Heart Broken: lmao

81. Been Arrested: No

82. Cried When Someone Died: Yes

83. Fallen For A Friend: you bet your sweet ass LOL

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: idk man

85. Miracles: Yes

86. Love at First Sight: to a point

87. Santa Claus: lowkey

88. Kiss on the First Date: meh, it depends

89. Angels: Yes

OTHER…

90. Current Best Friend’s Name: i feel like picking best friends hurts feelings, but i have good friends and just friends, and i dont know if i could name them all LOL

91. Eye Color: Blue

92. Favorite Movie: The Crow, The Lion King, Purple Rain, Captain EO

I don’t have 25 people to tag but I am tagging @harryslittlekiwis @goldenstyles @harrycloseups @theartistformerlyknownasprince and whoever wants to do it cause fuck it why not?

0 notes