#i rly had to stop myself from talking abt all of these more LMAO but i love them all sm..... thoughts many. head full

[astrolavas]

what are your favourite toh dynamics?

AGHGHGHHHHH OKAY, SO- this is mostly gonna be me talking abt hunter dynamics cuz kxjsjks i'm predictable, that's where my brainrot lies, but boy. i love toh dynamics so much

my probably Favorite favorite dynamics are hunter & flapjack and hunter & luz.

like, flapjack being hunter's first ever friend, the first instance of someone caring abt him genuinely and unconditionally, the first step to him breaking free from belos... the fact that he brought so much love and joy into hunter's life.

hunter had always had so much love in his heart, he loved his "uncle", but he'd never known what being loved was supposed to feel like; he thought love was conditional, and angry outbursts were just a normal part of it. but then flapjack came into his life and showed hunter what it felt like to love and BE LOVED BACK. he helped him open up, helped him find ppl who'd care abt him, helped him realize that whatever belos felt towards him…. wasn't love, that being loved wasn't supposed to feel like how he felt near belos; but that being loved was supposed to feel GOOD and WARM. (hunter being near tears because flapjack offered him a half of his berry instead of getting angry and lashing out at him like he'd predicted he would, since that's what he was always used to..... not comprehending this amount of kindness was even a possibility UGHHHGH)

they genuinely cared abt/for each other so much. flapjack was with hunter every step of the way, he supported him ALWAYS and he helped him and was such a big comfort in the scariest and most uncertain moments of hunter's life; like, this little magical bird loved his boy like no one else in the entire world. he was always by hunter's side and always indulging that boy's dumb ideas kxjsjk ughhh... the way flapjack didn't even hesitate to sacrifice his own life so that his boy could live, and even though he's gone, a part of his soul will always live inside of hunter. and hunter also cared abt flapjack so much, that was his BEST FRIEND. the apple of his eye!!!! the way belos almost crushing flapjack was the only thing that managed to give hunter enough strength and motivation to break through belos' possession and take back control of his own body. the way hunter always made sure that flapjack had the best care he could possibly have offered him, he loved him and still DOES... and always will. just!!!! gah. hunter and flapjack...

now, hunter and luz's dynamic is also just...... SOOOO SO interesting and full of SO many little nuances. how much it progresses, how much they go through together, how much they change. the fact that they started off on the wrong foot, on "opposite sites", but even then luz didn't consider hunter an enemy- they bickered a lot and luz didn't hold back from calling hunter out but ever since hunting palismen she saw him as hunter, not just the golden guard; and then as time progressed, they slowly grew to care abt each other and became some of the most important ppl in each other's lives.

thinking abt hollow mind, how traumatic of an event it was and how that mutual shared trauma that only they can understand affected and strengthened their bond. how luz gradually went from being angry/irritated at hunter for defending belos to being more protective of him and worried for his safety when she saw what his and belos' relationship REALLY looked like, that this situation wasn't safe for hunter, that he needed help, that he needed to be away from belos asap. her offering him to stay at the owl house, assuring him that everything was going to be okay as he was being pulled underground..... GOD. hunter immediately switching from calling luz "human" to her name after finding out the truth.

thinking abt their secret-keeping deal and how it rly wasn't healthy for them at ALL because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "haha yeah they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets!" during their stay in the human realm. how they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; like a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have only grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months and, ah!!!! them becoming so comfortable in each other's presence to the point where they allowed themselves to be vulnerable and voice their fears and worries around each other. luz calling hunter family and hunter truly letting his emotions out and letting himself cry next to another person for the first time in, like… EVER…….. HHHGHGHGHHH !!!!!

there's just so many factors to their dynamic, i love it so much....

but just in general, i love all the different relationships hunter has with everyone so much. emerald trio and all the distinctive dynamics within it... GAHHHHH hunter and gus, hunter and willow, willow and gus; they're all so unique and independently interesting and built upon, which makes the whole trio just WORK, so naturally. they're best friends, they're the trio ever, they care abt each other... ugh. LOVE THEM. you don't understand how much emerald trio brainrot i've got, they torment me on a daily basis.

hunter and gus... labyrinth brothers... they've got such fun, supportive friendship. both treated as "prodigies" of sort, both knowing what it's like to feel naive or used. both just wanting the best for one another. nerds (affectionate), i love them sm...

huntlow, how well they fit together and how supportive they are of one another... they just work so well because they're truly equals, their relationship is full of understanding and respect, but also comfort, and silliness. they're silly! and fun! and they get each other, and comfort/protect each other when the other truly needs it, just- ughhgh the bi4pan couple ever...... they're so good.

gus and willow, how they were each other's first ever friend (willow was gus' first genuine friend and gus was willow's first friend ever since amity suddenly broke it off with her)... how they've been inseparable since they met and know each other so well.

emerald trio, man

i love the potential of hunter and amity's dynamic as well; he may not be as close with her as he is with other members of hexsquad but there's stuff that they just get abt each other's home/family situations. them having this... playful/bickery dynamic at times but still being able to have serious, comforting conversations abt things they both relate to when they need to >>>> (also no, they wouldn't genuinely hate each other, and amity wouldn't ever threaten hunter or hold a grudge cuz of what happened at eclipse lake, like some ppl seem to think; that's not what their canon interactions or personalities suggest to us at all)

hunter and vee's dynamic also had SOOOO much potential, i will forever mourn that we didn't get to see it on-screen cuz of the shortening. ugh... the complex nature of hunter having been the golden guard and vee also having had a very traumatizing past related to the emperor's coven. her being distrustful of hunter at first, being uneasy in his presence; hunter also feeling guilty solely cuz of his past involvement in the emperor's coven and staying away from vee himself, in order not to make her more uncomfortable. then, slowly, gradually, them becoming friends... hunter assuring vee he isn't going to hurt her; vee noticing that some of hunter's behaviors are worrying (like maybe him flinching when camila raises her hand a little too fast near him, or him saying sth deeply disturbing that he considers normal, etc etc); them talking... vee finding out what hunter's life at the emperor's coven was actually like, what his relationship with belos was like. them realizing they actually have a lot in common, that they were both mistreated by belos, both his victims. getting to know each other and being supportive of each other's experiences. i could even imagine that hunter could tell vee that he's a grimwalker at some point, before ttt, making her the second person to know. if she expressed sth abt being one of the few last remaining basilisks or belos' experiment, or a species brought back from the dead, hunter would want to show that he sympathizes by relating to her, cuz that's how he shows he cares and understands. and the thing that relates him to this the most is his grimwalker identity. and so they could talk abt it too, maybe... (and the stakes here wouldn't be as high as sharing his secret to willow and gus was to hunter, since he was truly afraid of being rejected there; he thought he'd lose his best friends forever if they knew the truth abt him)

hunter and darius' dynamic..... gah. there's so much complexity and nuance here, so much potential to explore their past as well as future. with darius taking hunter in, there's definitely a LOT they must've worked on during those first few months. there's this specific trauma that has come from their stay in the coven, the specific ways in which this hostile environment had affected their behaviours and the way they both acted... that's definitely not sth that was just automatically dealt with, they had to work through that.

we know darius cared abt and respected his mentor a lot, so much to the point where he thought hunter wasn't worthy to be the next golden guard and was taking that feeling out on him, thinking he didn't deserve to inherit such important title after the previous GG's death; didn't rly respect or care abt hunter until any sport in a storm. i feel like darius definitely had a lot of guilt abt the way he treated hunter in the past, so moving forward he really tried his best, especially since hunter's had this deep need to impress him and make him proud and all. he wanted that kid to have a good life and to stay safe. we know their relationship has progressed throughout the rest of season 2, with the implication of them growing closer and spending more time together, but even as of watching & dreaming, it all definitely wasn't just sunshine and rainbows + darius rly didn't have much experience in being a parent. but he tried his best, darius (and eberwolf) definitely did everything in their power so that hunter could have the best possible environment to live in, and eventually they've worked through this complicated past and post-coven habits, and made their living space a comfortable home... made sure to always be supportive to hunter, to accomodate his needs, made sure he isn't overworking himself or trying to "earn" the right to live with them; made sure that he's flourishing and taking care of himself and being a kid. made sure he feels loved and safe and sleeps well and hgghh yeah....... also, thinking abt darius and hunter sharing that experience of grief, abt darius teaching hunter how to sew, abt how darius sent hunter on that mission to "keep luz safe" to keep him away from the danger of the day of unity... man!!!! (i do wish we'd seen their relationship progress and develop on-screen more though, rather than in the background/through subtext... but h)

hunter and camila's relationship is also... SO precious to me. the fact that during their first meeting, she made sure to let him know he doesn't have to be overly respectful to her, that they're on an equal ground; he kneeled and she told him to never do that again. hunter's stay at camila's was the first time he was under long-term care of an adult who truly cared abt his well-being. lots of it was probably so confusing to him, cuz of how different it was from his relationship dynamic with belos, and it was definitely trial-and-error in many instances, and it was a while until these more healthy habits started to feel more natural to hunter, but it also made him feel loved. apprecciated. safe. i just know camila was always just... so patient with hunter. never raised a hand at him, made sure he'd never fear her, didn't let him overwork himself... she taught him how to use a sewing machine, told him all abt wolves. she definitely picked up on some of hunter's behaviours and deduced what it meant regarding his family past, and tried her best to make him feel comfortable. just!!!!! the fact that this was the first time where hunter truly felt cared for, where he lived in safe conditions..... GAHghghhhh (thinks abt the scrapped ttt credits idea featuring hunter helping camila out at her vet clinic. so normal abt it... i love winning... brainrot lvl 2000. man...)

there are so many more hunter dynamics that exist in my head...... hunter and raine, them being able to bond abt their (very traumatic) possession experience and their post-possession scars; raine being one of the very few ppl who seemed to have been nice to hunter in the coven, rather than cruel or dismissive of him. the fact that hunter (and dell) canonically helped fix raine's palisman after their battle with belos. GAHHHGHH...

hunter and the clawthornes; the fact that he works with dell, gwendolyn and the bat queen, that he canonically has been mentored by them!!! the fact that he and the clawthornes are in a way related but haven't discovered it yet, but are going to discover it eventually (love to imagine eda and lilith's reactions cuz this is like, comedy material). he works with them, he spends there so much time... i just know they've grown to be fond of that boy, he's like their unofficial grandson.

hunter and king, and their identity-related arcs. finding out you've been lied to your whole life and that you're the last representant of an extinct/legendary species, after thinking you were sth else all these years.... man! also the fact that king wrote one of hunter's favorite books xksjjsk AND hunter's whole...... religious trauma thing with "titan has big plans for you" versus king being an actual titan. AND the fact that king saw the uncountable piles of bones and skeletons of hunter's "family", the other golden guards, grimwalkers. do you see the vision-

even hunter and the collector! the fact that since the collector didn't understand death, they thought belos murdering all the grimwalkers and then making new ones was him just playing and then "fixing" the grimwalker, rather than actually KILLING a whole bunch of people. the collector realizing this... hunter having mixed feelings knowing how they didn't see grimwalkers (him included) as people and feeling bitter remembering how they spoke abt him with belos in the memory he'd seen in hollow mind, but also knowing they were belos' victim too, and it wasn't entirely their fault; that they know better now. sympathizing with that... the fact that both hunter and the collector have a traumatic, abusive past with belos; they were both manipulated and mistreated by him, used for his own selfish goals. it all coming together to just two kids with a complicated past who've gone through terrible things, trying to heal… hhgh

and soooo many more! i love lumity, i love raeda, i love the collector and king's friendship, the owl trio, luz and camila's dynamic, i hate-love belos and hunter's relationship cuz i love how it's written but Uggh. GOD. PAIN.... but it's written so very well. philip and caleb's dynamic is too, it's so interesting. and more! there are just so, so many good, interesting dynamics in toh, i could brainrot abt them forever...... man.

#meant to write this short and concisely but kxjsjskskk um #i rly had to stop myself from talking abt all of these more LMAO but i love them all sm..... thoughts many. head full #hunter toh #my toh talk #nicole answers #Anonymous

[ashdreams2023]

YAY THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE :3

ok so my idea is- i’m poly, and kate is my ex, we broke up bc of my stanky mental health and like that aaaalll happened in my former dr but i loved being with kate so i’m keeping that. but obviously bc of the issues i’m going to be nervous to get in a new relationship once the realisation hits me that i’m in love with loki. so i wouldn’t want to being anything yet until i’m 100% sure i’m ready

meanwhile loki wants to ask me out and asks nat for advice- who already knew that loki and i like eachother bc sam can’t keep his mouth shut around her and steve. so they start scheming and try to set us up and after like 6 dates they made us go on it clicks in both our head and we’re like “oooohhh so that’s what happening” and we talk for a while abt it and i tell loki i’m not rly ready for a relationship yet, and loki being the angel that they are is understanding and respectful ofc :3

then over the next few weeks every now and then we ask eachother “how’s your love life?” and just gush about eachother being all cute like “yeah it’s going pretty good i think- they recently got a new haircut and it looks amazing!” and loki just blushes as i say that 😖😖❤️

and then we go on a holiday with the team. and sam and nat are like “:oo our chance for more romantic dates!! let’s scheme muahahaha” and meanwhile i come to terms that i’m finally ready to commit myself again and while we’re watching the sunset and cuddling loki start the “how’s your love life” conversation again. i start talking about the amazing date we just had and how much i liked it and it gets all romantic and stuff and i start rambling and try to explain that i want to be together with them and loki stops my rambling with a kiss :o. and they’re like “do you love me? not like how you love me as your friend.. but as a lover?” fmaghdhs and i’m like “yes.. yes i love you loki, and i’m ready to love you like a lover, i want to be yours” AND THEN KISS AGAIN OR SMTH AND ITS LIKE ALL ROMANTIC AND CUTE BUT MY WRITING SUCKS SO HERES THIS FMAGDHS 😂😖🥰not sure yet if i’m going w this- but i rly like the line “i love you like a lover” idk where i picked it up from lmao. hope this wasn’t too long i’m sorry oops

AAAAAAAA THATS SO CUTE!!!! SLOW BURN AND FLUFF, I WILL MELT.

ITS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

Loki just being the patient sweetheart he is, my heart 🥹

[magnoliamyrrh]

just in case i don’t want to talk abt this any more tw incest u could just delete this

horrific n downright wrong. i wanna say u n everyone else includin that anon did not deserve this n the collective u deserves so much more but i am so grateful seein people talk abt this. i was raised w the extreme pressure that my gen was goin to break the cycle of that type of abuse n i have to come to terms that we didn’t n that’s ok at least to me. it’s so hard to admit to n so impactful to say out loud but it’s what has to b done. it a type of trauma that’s been in my fam for many many yrs n i gaslight myself into believin that we broke it. i stayed in denial n tbh still am in denial bcuz it’s so hard to blame a fam member. esp for me a girl n a teenage girl at that. this isn’t always the universal reaction so there is no guilt if this isn’t the case or if it is but u still luv them no matter what they did it’s so hard to blame them. but sexual abuse is sexual abuse. i hope to god every day that when i have children that will b when the cycle is broken n it all stops but i will never put the verbal pressure on them the way my parents did. one of them was a victim of smthn v extreme so i do not blame them (there it is again) but it’s torture to feel like u let them down when u did nothin wrong. admitting is always the first step to healin. i’m so proud of u for talkin abt this n that anon n everyone else.

ya! i think even though its uncomfortable as hell and disturbing its important that we talk about it. thank you <3 im proud of everyone who pitched in too, and of you, thank u for sharing; its really not easy. i dont think this is the sort of thing we can heal from individually, you know? especially when its a cultural thing. theres so much shame and fear and repression surrounding this kind of stuff, and the only way were gonna heal from it is if, like u said, well start accepting it and talking about it

and yea youre right it is really hard. like my father crossed any possible line with what he did and he abuses his wife too and. i really just want him dead like i dont give a damn, i have to try to calm myself bc i get too focused sometimes on how much i actually want him to suffer. but even with him at times im like,,,, ,, eh but i still care abt him? i went through a whole phase where i felt like it was my responsabilites to help him or like heal him from how deranged he is lmao. but it doesnt last long. but with everyone else its different. (?) like. i realized like idk a year ago that uh yea my grandma did lowkey molest me and it actually made me feel fucking insane. i had no idea what do with it and i still dont?? and its fucked and definitely not ok but like...,,, we all pretend like its fine or just didnt happen i guess bc its,, normal? acceptable??? its weird as all hell, most of the time i just kinda try to not think abt it because i have no idea how to even feel abt the woman when i do. if anything as much as it definitely kinda fucked me up, im frankly way more pissed abt the physical abuse/beatings and endless insults and yelling and shit - like that actually probably did more damage to me. but still like idk yea i .. idk if i excuse it but i definitely explain it like oh she didnt know better etc etc etc. but that doesnt.. ugh it doesnt excuse it?? but i still love her and care for her?? its a fucking nightmare to try to detangle all that. and the shit w my mom too and other family members like uh yea it grosses me out and definitely got to me, this combination of being raised as property + controlling parents + sexualized + actually being whored out by father has k.o.d whatever mental sanity i could have had and it took me many years to.... idk. even start remotely working through all that. but. i still care abt them...?? i think the fact that its no longer happening and dont rly consider it on the same level as the shit w my dad makes it kinda different in my head but its still not fucking ok

and yea. definitely one of the hardest parts of it is being blamed for being uncomfortable/grossed out or even punished for being so when rly thats such a normal reaction to have to this shit. it is psychologically torturous and it is gaslighting and it rly fucks u up in the head..... and its really hard to get to the point where u dont feel like u did anything wrong or you werent to blame. i do presume that w this particular kind of shit tho a lot of it is that they probably went through similar stuff, internalized and repressed it, never dealt w it, and then just proceed to do the same

i hope to god too ill be different. i want to believe in both of us and this new generation that we'll do a better job. i think the fact that were even talking abt it shows some progress u kno. my mother and grandmother told me for many years that i wont do a better job than them and its just normal for kids to be raised w beatings and yelling and insults and controlling behavior and all that shit,,,, but. ive always been terrified of that. since i was little i knew if i ever had a kid i wouldnt want to put them through any of this. if i cant break the cycle id rather not raise a kid at all. at least for the past like year or two my mother has actually accepted that some of the shit she did wasnt okay and that she was abused by my grandmother too and..... apologized??? which was insane. so. idk. its been a long and weird fucking process. but. i dont think its hopeless

#lmao speaking of mommy issues #god so many of us are so fucked up huh

[scarlethallow160]

the dopamine rush i needed: attending a con for the first time as jill

i went to my first anime/gaming convention today in my remake jill cosplay and it was so much fun! at first people didn’t really recognize me/thought i was lara croft but i was still having fun with my friends, but then later on i ran into some other re cosplayers!

i took pics with a HUNK cosplayer, on my way in a guy that thought i was lara said he was gonna be chris later on (i never crossed paths with him again tho lol), i saw a heisenberg and said hi but i felt too awkward to try and ask for a pic tho lol

we saw a super awesome aloy cosplayer (we told her she looked amazing but didn’t want to bother her to ask for a pic and i def didnt want to try and take one w/o her permission but omg she looked so good), i saw an advent children cloud cosplayer but same dealio lmao this rly nice person got excited when she saw me and asked for a pic, she said she almost came as ada 😭 apparently there was a leon cosplayer too but there was one point when we were all chilling in the hotel room for a couple hours cuz my friends were staying the whole weekend so i guess i missed him. :(

and then i got another compliment from another jill! or swimsuit version of jill lol cuz the con was at this resort that had a waterpark n stuff. she was telling me about the other re cosplayers cuz she saw an ada as well, and she said there was a carlos!! and apparently there was talk of all the resi cosplayers meeting and taking a group photo tomorrow but i had only planned on going today :( and initially we were gonna take a pic together i think? but we ended up just saying bye to each other lmao cuz i was telling her i was prob gonna have to miss it

at this point i thought abt maybe starting to head home since the rest of the group was gonna hang around and party and stuff since they were staying at the resort, but i decided to stick around longer and i’m glad i did bc lo and behold.....i found the carlos cosplayer!!!

he was talking w some other people so i got nervous trying to talk to him at first, but i really wanted to get at least one pic together, and thankfully he turned out to be super nice and was really excited by my jill costume lol! he was calling me supercop and stuff and it was so much fun. and another guy asked to take a pic of the two of us xD

we took pics and he got a video of us, he had carlos’ rocket launcher earlier in the day and we were joking we could’ve recreated the opening scene when they first meet if he still had it lol. and we were just vibing, it was such a great way to end the night finding the carlos to my jill. i really didnt think i’d find a carlos cosplayer 😩 i had my little carlos keychain attached to my costume the whole day lmao

i get off work kinda late tomorrow but i still thought of maybe still coming? but the pass for saturday is like 50 bucks cuz i think its the most popular day....so maybe if i can leave work early i’ll go, cuz i dont think 50 will be worth being there a couple hours since i do work kinda early the next day. so maybe sunday since its a little cheaper....

oh i also saw swimsuit version of vi, jinx, and caitlyn lol! and omg two of the people in my group were chica and roxy earlier in the day, and they both looked sooooo good! esp our roxy cosplayer, their wig was styled so well, so many people stopped to ask them for photos and stuff lol esp like the actual staff at the con

i also saw someone cosplaying as the cowboy hero in ovw but it got super awkward cuz when i was about to call out to him to say hi i almost accidentally used the old name.....and by the time i was going to correct myself we’d already walked past him rip

next time there’s a con i’d love to whip up jill’s og stars uniform, and go as tifa as well :3 i wish i’d requested off more/planned to go multiple days but i was saving my last vacation day for my birthday :\ but still, even tho this is one of the smaller cons it was such a fun experience. i didnt even care that much about events and stuff, it was just so much fun seeing all the different ppl and being able to nerd out with friends

(i also got an artbook of yoshitaka amano’s work, and this suuuper gorgeous ghost of tsushima print by seerlight, whose work i’d actually already seen before so it was a pleasant surprise to see the prints being sold!)

#after this extremely shitty past week or so #dealing with a number of different bullshit at work and in life in general #and therefore my mental health taking a rly bad dive #this was such a wonderful way to relieve some stress #things are still a little uncertain with my cat however #their examining her stool and blood #and in the meantime i have some different medication to give her #but rly hoping things turn out well or what she has isnt anything serious

[spookybreadstick]

hi, im new :) Dont worry abt what u write its rly good and ily💗 i came 2 stay and hope ur doing well!

I was hoping if i could get some fluffy™ headcanons or a scenario -whatever ur choice is- with a female reader and L.J? The reader has a strong sense of justice but is extremely compassiomate, wise, quiet/shy and like touch starved🥺🥺👉🏻👈🏻 sorry if im crinGe i need more content of him on this site-- Im not sure what else to add 2 help u w this since i just woke up lolol but yeah thank u sm in advance, i wish u all the best💌💛💋

hello newbie! thank you for stopping by and i’m glad you want to stay! i am doing pretty well (i took down my x-mas decorations today and there are a lot of them bc decorating is fun, so i had mini chocolate santas as a reward lol) i hope you are well, also! and thank you so much for the writing compliment, it means a lot to me!!

🍬 LJ x Reader (compassionate, wise, quiet/shy, touch-starved, strong sense of justice, female) Relationship HCs 🍬

💖💞💖💞💖💞

🍬 LJ thinks you’re the cutest girl in the whole world!!

🍬 He adores your compassionate nature, it makes him feel very happy to have such a caring girlfriend 

🍬 He also likes that you are wise. It makes him feel very proud to have such a smart girlfriend. 

🍬 You will have to step in to keep him out of trouble, and he'll listen to you.

🍬 If you tell him that telling that joke at the dinner table is a bad idea, or that you shouldn't trap a bunch of bees to launch at Jeff's head because he won't find it too funny, then he won't do it. 

🍬 Which is saying something, because LJ usually just does what he wants despite other people's opinions because he thinks his bad jokes/pranks are funny. 

🍬 But also, if you'd like to have some fun with him, you could tell him literally anything in a serious tone and he'd believe it 100%. 

🍬 He trusts whatever you say because you are wise (especially compared to him lol, he's the opposite of wise) 

🍬 If you have a strong sense of justice, that can mean a couple of different things: 

Situation One: You're really into criminal justice and the law. This can be sort of a problem because, you know, LJ's "line of work". But LJ is totally justified in his actions IMO (remember, he 'deals with' those who have hurt children) so hopefully you understand. It's his personal way of dishing out justice, and if you get behind him on that, it'll make him feel even better about what he does. He'll be sure to keep you away from people like Jeff though, who don't dish out justice. 

Situation Two: You're really into justice as in people being fair and treating others well, with those who don't getting what's coming to them in the end (like karma). LJ would love this, as he believes that being nice and making others happy is the key to your own happiness. Again, he would keep you away from Jeff who is kind of believes the opposite.

Situation Three: You're really into social justice (LGBTQ+ rights, equality, racial diversity, etc) which LJ adores about you. You correct him on his outdated language (he was created in the 1800s, and obviously times have changed since then). He would never want to offend anybody, but he often genuinely doesn't know because society has progressed past when people considered certain things appropriate in the 1800s. So if he says something outdated, please gently correct him, he wants to know and he'll refrain from using that word/phrase in the future. LJ also finds social justice topics very interesting, he could listen to you talk about them for hours.

🍬 LJ is easily excited by the small things. 

🍬 "LOOK, LOOK!" 

"What is it, LJ!?" 

"THERE'S A CLOWN ON TV!!!"

 "T-that's it? Why are you shouting then?"

 "He's like me :)" 

🍬 Honestly, he finds joy in little things like that. Seeing a fellow clown on TV. Judging by the way he talks though, you would have thought that something incredible was going on. 

🍬 LJ's also very loud in everything he does. 

🍬 This fool has no concept of "using your indoor voice". 

🍬 He's also extremely outgoing and extroverted, and he loves talking to people about anything and everything. 

🍬 Ah, but you're quiet/shy? 

🍬 That's okay, he'll do the talking for the both of you :) 

🍬 He'll also try to take the spotlight from you if you're uncomfortable with being the center of attention. LJ adores being the center of attention, so it's the opposite of a problem for him. 

🍬 Everyone kind of thinks you make a funny couple; the sweet, quiet girl and the obnoxiously loud clown. 

🍬 But those kinds of pairings can be the best ones. Opposites do attract, after all.

🍬 Also. You're touch-starved? Well.... 

🍬 This is literally what happens. (I made this meme myself because I had a stroke of inspiration lmao) 

🍬 Girl, he was trapped in a BOX for YEARS.

🍬 OF COURSE HE'S TOUCH-STARVED!!

🍬 Also like, he's spent many decades without any romantic partners, so now that he's got a girlfriend he's eager to be all touchy-feely 

🍬 He really likes that you are touch-starved as well, so you won’t mind his abundance of affection. 

🍬 LJ loves to give hugs <3 He gives surprisingly great hugs with his noodle-y arms

🍬 Loves to cuddle as well. Major cuddle-bug. You are small compared to him, (no matter how tall you are, he is taller) so you're like a lil stuffed animal for him to snuggle up to. 

🍬 All in all, LJ loves you and you would make a perfect couple <3 

also, don’t worry about being cringe/self-indulgent! that’s what this blog is for, essentially!

- breadstick 🥖

#🍬 #🍬Laughing Jack/LJ🍬 #laughing jack #creepypasta laughing jack #laughing jack x reader #LJ #LJ hcs #LJ x reader #🍬LJ🍬 #🍬Laughing Jack🍬 #creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #💖💞 #💖 #💞 #💞 hcs #💖 requests #creepypasta x reader #spookybreadstick

[chikkou]

Talk more abt your interests or we're selling you to 1 direction(jk I just like listening to you ramble about things cause you have a lot of cool and indepth opinions)

OH GOD OH FUCK PLEASE DONT SELL ME MOM AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly its SO sweet to ask this and im rly glad u guys dont mind when i ramble about shit no one knows or cares about LMAO... i honestly struggle to reel it in sometimes bc i can just go tf off kdfgd

one hyperfixation i rarely have the opportunity to talk about on here is my lifelong OBSESSION with fairy tales and folklore.. ever since i was a kid ive been in love with all kinds of fairy tales!! im very partial to the brothers grimm because they just collected so many of these stories, but i have a very special love for lesser known ones, and ESPECIALLY the original versions of popular ones bc they tend to be so much more different than people know

for example did u know that in snow white, the apple was the evil queens THIRD attempt to kill snow white? the first two attempts were a corset tied too tightly and a poisoned comb, both of which were thwarted by the dwarves coming home from work like 5 minutes later dgkfjgndf

and did u ALSO know that that story ends with the evil queen being invited to the wedding of snow white and the prince, only for them to force her to dance in red-hot iron shoes until she died?? they really didnt play in those stories LMAO

what i find really fascinating about these kinds of folklore (and this applies to general mythology too) is that a lot of times you can easily tell which stories were originally the same story that got either repurposed or retold with different details, as almost every fairy tale was originally shared orally, and therefore details were changed and/or were forgotten between tellings.

for example, there was a fairy tale i read years ago about a character named buh nansi who was caught stealing from a king and was captured. as the king decided what to do with him, buh nansi begged not to be thrown into the ocean as he could not swim and would surely die. the king decided to throw him into the sea, and buh nansi swam away freely as he told the king that the ocean was his home and hed just set him free.

there was ANOTHER one i read abt a selfish rabbit who refused to help the other animals dig a well, and so was banned from using it. however the rabbit ended up drinking from it anyway, and as punishment, the animals created a wolf out of tar to keep it away. the rabbit first reacts accordingly, but when it tries to talk to the wolf and the wolf doesnt answer, it gets angry at the disrespect and swings at the wolf, causing it to get stuck in the tar. the animals find the rabbit the next day and try to decide what to do with it, so the rabbit begs them not to throw it into the thicket, which they of course do. the thicket catches the tar and sets the rabbit free, and it brags that the thicket is its home before it runs off. sound familiar?

if not, let me spoil it for you - both of these stories are more modernly associated with the uncle remus br’er rabbit fairy tales (these were some of my favorites as a kid). the br’er rabbit story is that br’er fox, who is br’er rabbits enemy, wants to capture him, so he sets up a tar doll (or tar baby; incidentally, this is a VERY racist term now LMAO) in the road to trap him. br’er rabbit comes upon the doll and bids it good morning, but the doll (obviously) doesnt answer. br’er rabbit gets angry at the disrespect and eventually tries to smack the doll, which of course gets him stuck fast to the tar. br’er fox comes along and grabs br’er rabbit as he decides what to do with him. br’er rabbit begs the fox to do whatever he wants, as long as he does not throw him into the briar-patch (its just thorny brambles basically), which he is deathly afraid of. this of course prompts the fox to throw the rabbit into the brambles, which sets the rabbit free and he escapes while bragging that the briar-patch is his home

all three of these stories are essentially the same tale retold very differently - and, fun fact, “buh nansi” is actually anansi, a trickster god seen in a LOT of west african and caribbean folklore. also, both “br’er” and “buh” mean “brother” (which becomes obvious if u say them out loud LMAO), and are used as terms of respect. br’er rabbit is a little more new than buh nansi and the rabbit story - the uncle remus collection was published originally in the late 1800s, while the other stories have likely persisted for centuries. transparently, br’er rabbit is an amalgamation of these two stories (and probably many others), and was repurposed to fit the environment that the storytellers were in; in this case, they would have been slaves living on southern plantations, thus why the story had to be retold to cut out anansi (a non-christian god). almost every br’er rabbit story i can think of is actually a retelling of a traditional west african fairy tale, updated to suit their circumstances.

its honestly pretty fucking fascinating, and there are quite a few stories that share a lot of commonalities like this if you look! not just the southern folklore either, but pretty much any folklore you can think of dates back much, much farther than you might know. as a quick thing, if youve ever heard of the “firmament” in the bible, that is referring to a layer of water surrounding the earth which was believed to cause rain and, if too much water fell onto the earth, floods. but, if you can believe it, this did NOT originate with the bible - the idea of the firmament is actually a holdover from babylonian mythology, which makes perfect sense as the writers of the bible would have been IN babylon at the time of the firmaments inclusion, and therefore would have been influenced by its own folklore!

ok i can talk about this forever so im gonna stop myself here but like. yeah fairytales and shit are fucking cool LMAO

#anya's anons #long post #thank u for opening the floodgates LMAOOO

[binniesthighs]

miss ro!!! ur jeongin fic was so cute that letter with all the misspellings made me cackle low-key - really can imagine 바보 빵 (fool bread(?) not sure how they render that nickname in english for him) writing it 😭 him and mc were so cute no lie

so like i swear dpr ian used to have a soundcloud that i would listen to but for some reason i can’t track down the stuff anymore ?? but equally maybe i’m getting confused bc i listen to a lot of k-artists on soundcloud (i remember the day i discovered got7 jb’s music on there and completely lost my shit lmao but that’s a diff story) i’m honestly such a sucker for soundcloud artists why am i like this 💀💀 but he literally dropped off the grid apart from his insta after his idol group disbanded and his spotify is basically empty apart from zombie pop (which is p cute it’s in the dpr archives album) and his new album. i honestly love all the tracks on it bc have been listening to the singles since they dropped but nerves and scaredy cat are my faves i think of the new ones?? i low-key suck at song recs lmao bc usually I just queue the entire album start to finish / listen to ppl’s curated spotify playlists for like kr&b/indie&chill etc while i’m doing work so i usually hear stuff i like but don’t know the titles ?? last year i was heavy obsessed with dpr live’s album tho “is anybody out there” and also ph-1’s 2019 album “halo” is still one of my faves. i can try and dig through and find specific songs i saved tho if u want!

also i’m watching the making of the album documentary now and it’s honestly spectacular (and only 13mins it needs to be longer 😭😭😭) - he goes into the back story of each song and talks about his life too and there’s clips of him filming the MVs and laying down the tracks. it’s low-key getting me v emotional especially when he was talking about dope lovers and how he had some p bad relationships bc he tends to push ppl away when he’s going thru stuff and he was recording the lyric “it was all for a kiss” and then he said “was it for a kiss or was it from a kiss because honestly, i think a lot of shit happens after the kiss” and ooft that hurttttt

british insults are honestly the best - i love them bc they’re like super snarky/get to the point but they’re not actually like properly derogatory names? like i rly get uncomfy when ppl properly swear at someone even if I like hate them with a burning passion lmaoooo

omg snow day??? we haven’t had snow for a while now :(( my friend lives in mass tho and she said it was snowing yesterday too i’m jel :(( i thrive in the night too lmao but man my insomnia’s been kicking my ass lately 🥲🥲 i deadass live my life like chan and i rly thought this would stop after uni but i guess it’s just my state of being 😭😭

i love reading ur replies they rly brighten my day 🥺🥺 i get a bit in my head sometimes lmao gotta love that anxiety/depression mix 🤪🤪 and rly worry i’m being annoying/ saying too much / blocking up ur feed for other readers also 🥲🥲 i hope other ppl aren’t getting annoyed by how long my asks are 🥺🥺 mayb one day i’ll reveal myself n we can just msg instead or sth idk 😭😭

n e ways i’m gonna dip now but i hope you have a good day/night/week too, miss ro!! my life is spiralling low-key so might be gone for a bit but in the meantime i hope things go well for u!! and do lemme know what u think of MITO !! (and honestly check out the making doc if u have time!!) -😖

😖 awe heck, my responses make your day? 🥺 that makes me so so happy!! i know how ya feel, I tend to have hot and cold weeks, and my writing is what tends to keep it at bay :) as well as talking to all you cuties! You don’t annoy me at all sweets!! however ya feel like talking is fine with me!! ;) also don’t ya worry about dipping either! life gets crazy and I totally get ya! <3 

more under the cut! 

also thank you so much about my new jeongin fic!! writing his lil letter was my favorite part actually hahahah i was trying to channel my inner awkward teen boy for that one LOLLL to suit his character being super sweet and loveable and a lil shy on the side I knew that he would make some cute lil mistakes hehe 

I’ll def listen to your recs!! I really need to listen to more kr&b tho! I have like two or three playlists that i listen to allll the time and am in dire need of new music haha the other week I discovered Kali Uchis’ new album and that’s been on repeat for me like crazyyyy recently FRICK its so good haha so that is my recommendation hehe 

That sounds like a really interesting documentary tho!! I actually really like music documentaries! hahah I watch them with my dad sometimes about classic rock artists etc. it super cool to me to hear about everything that goes into an album as well as the creative process behind it too! like when skz do their little interviews and stuff before an album releases I lovvve that haha for the same reason I love hearing about why authors write what they did too! gahhh i’m ramblin but the creative process is so cool to me! I’d love to check it out! 

whats funny abt swearing is that (oddly) even at nearly 21 years of age I am still not allowed to swear around my parents hahaha but when I’m not around them??? i will say anything and everything lolll but never at people like ya said haha i remeber a while ago I heard “bucket of fucks” and I thought that was pretty funny haha, also yay for snow days!! its funny bc I’m currently not in the state where I go to school so the weather was just fine here but there was like two feet of snow on the actual campus haha i heard that the students got together to have a snowball fight on our soccer fields (i just hope they were safe ooP) 

#binniesthighs ​💌 #😖anon #binniesthighs feedback

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

#nothingunrealistic1 #you know that's my On Brand query lol.....the three dozen ways of annoyed i probably am / have been on any given day

[bugdotpng]

i feel like i....never really talked abt my april surgery last year actually? it was a shitshow from start to finish ghdfljksk

cw: lots of blood talk, stitches, operations, etc.

this was probably...one of the more “traumatizing” post-op experiences...apparently something similar happened when i was younger but the drugs always fucked me up so i thankfully don’t remember much but now i’m old and dense and the drugs don’t hit like they used to (which is...honestly a good thing) so i remember.....everything from april....

long story short (who am i kidding this is going to take forever) i have to drive to houston for my surgeries (which is abt 2-ish hours from my hometown where i’d be doing recovery) so we often stop halfway at our usual pit stop so i don’t get blood clots (since all my surgeries are of the podiatric variety). my mom tells my dad she’s gonna go inside to run to the bathroom then get things ready for me, so he should wait in the car with me. she leaves. i’m obstinate and drugged. i insist that we go inside. my dad is like “well if you insist” and helps me inside on my crutches. the fact i can use my crutches so effectively while i’m stupid drugged honestly amazes me

idk how to explain this place...it’s a smokehouse so you can buy meats n stuff but you can also get sandwiches and pastries...i guess it’s like a small bucee’s, but there’s places to sit down and eat (which is why we like to go there; plenty of room for me prop my leg up and eat a sausage roll). anyway we make it a few steps past the cash registers and my dad goes on ahead to go get me a table. two men stop me and go “oh my god, are you okay?” and i’m just kinda like “uuuuh yeah?” “you’re bleeding!” and my dumb drugged ass starts looking at my arms like “oh shit did i cut myself on something?” and that’s when my dad comes over and practically faints (blood/barf/etc. makes him very queasy) because there’s a trail of blood behind me and it’s like...gushing out of my wrap LMAO so he takes me to a table and props up my foot, my mom comes over, they freak out, call my surgeon, everyone’s afraid i popped a stitch, we’re an hour from the dr office, 1:30 from the surgery center, my parents are trying to figure out how to facetime with my surgeon and show her my blood soaked bandages, it keeps dropping calls bc we’re in bumfuck, texas and they eventually decide we should drive all the way back to houston so she can check things out.

they unwrap me, inspect and tighten a few of my (very fresh) stitches, but ultimately they’re all fine, no popping....they stab me with a numbing shot (horribly painful) since my pain meds wore off and send me on my merry way. we think what ended up happening was that i stood up too fast. usually my mom helps me get out of the car and does it really slowly but my dad and i are very similar and just fuckin...bolted inside ghsdlfkjdsk i don’t fault him but he feels awful ghdflksj

THEN my incisions end up having trouble healing (assuming bc they got all fucked around that day) and i have to wait longer than usual to get them removed (not a huge deal but i basically can’t go anywhere until i get my stitches out since they were so close to the wrap opening so it was rly inconvenient). i end up getting put on a second round of antibiotics bc i still technically have an open wound. and for some moronic reason my horribly dumb ass thinks this is a good time to start my fucking zoloft prescription that was prescribed before this all happened. told my doc i didn’t wanna start em during surgery stuff bc i didn’t want that affecting how i felt. at this point it’s maybe 3-ish weeks post-op, so i thought that’d be a good time to start. for some reason.

thankfully my mom is staying with me up at my apartment to help me adjust to post-op life and i take my zoloft before bed. bolt awake at 3am in a cold sweat, my heart is racing, i feel like i’m having a panic attack. i figure out how to stand up (hard to do when non-weight-bearing) and hobble to the bathroom. the whole time i’ve got bad vertigo. my pupils are blown out so bad my eyes look black. i have full-body goosebumps, i feel like i’m gonna barf outta both ends, and i feel like there’s something in every corner that’s watching me and about to kill me lmao. mom and i eventually figure out i’m experiencing serotonin syndrome, but thankfully not bad enough that i had to go to the emergency room. it was certainly touch and go for a while, but once we knew what it was, we felt a little better. i tried to go back to bed but i just stared at the ceiling all night. got a little bit of sleep. woke up the next day in a horrible fog. my heart was still racing. i somehow still fucking went to work.

ANYWAY that was my april surgery :^) once i got my stitches taken out i actually healed pretty okay and it’s been fairly uneventful since then. my next surgery was actually less intense and i had a horrible recovery so i think the april recovery was like....an apology for going through the whole stitches incident ghlsdfkjdks

#bug.txt #hm. this was fun to write but afterward i feel like i banged my head into a wall and then threw up

[stateofirrelevancy]

CALM First Listen Impressions

I’ve been doing these since SGFG and imma keep doing it till the day i die!!

Red Desert - OOF harmonies okay I see you !! Intro is hella soulful don’t tell me I’m about to cry ALREADY guys… okay that bass in the bg is thicccc and I’m living for it OOF AND THEN THE CHORUS HITS AND THOSE DRUMS BITCH THIS SONG IS SO GOOD ON JUST THE FIRST LISTEN Y’ALL AHHHHH and then that TRANSITION from chorus to second verse my mans ashton did not disappoint !! Guys I’m really feeling this song holy shit it’s so good. Bitch this RED in the bridge is rly TEASING ME like bitch KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!! Low key this song sounds like it’s 90% saying “red desert” over and over but I’m not complaining issa bop and a half !!! AHHH THAT ENDING AND THEY REALLY WENT TO A LOWER NOTE THAT WAS SO GOOD if that ain’t my fave song on the album i’ll be hella shook. Rating: 10/10 obviously

No Shame - I’ve liked this song since the very first time I heard it it’s actually such a bop. I can’t wait to drive around with this song blasting in my car. I LOVE when Luke says “Go on and plaAaAaAce me” it’s so pretty!!! Rating: 9/10 I just wish the bridge had something different I’m not a big fan of sos ALWAYS doing slowed down choruses for bridges and once you notice it it’s hard to stop lol

Old Me - I wasn’t a huge fan of this song the first time I heard it and genuinely didn’t think it’d grow on me AT ALL, but even after the second listen I really liked it, and I’ve really come to appreciate, like, the fan service message behind it? And that music video just made me love it more. The thing I didn’t like initially and still am not a huge fan of is how autotune-y the song sounds. I know everyone uses autotune, but imo it’s way too noticeable in the song to the point where it sounds a little unpleasant once you catch it. Rating: 8/10

Easier - Okay to be honest, I hate this song LMAO like one time I was crying in the shower while I was listening to my music on shuffle and this song came on and I literally stopped crying to change the song and then went back to crying daskjfkaljl Honestly the verses are really catchy and I like the prechorus but god I DETEST the chorus so fucking much it’s so fucking annoying and that’s low key like most of the song,,, I don’t even wanna finish the song but imma force myself to lmaooooo Rating: 3/10

Teeth - I love the bass at the beginning I’m such a slut for thicccc basses. I also like how crisp? Luke’s voice sound initially idk if that’s like a weird thing to say lol. I also hate the chorus here but not as much as Easier and the other parts of the song def make up for it. Rating: 6.5/10

Wildflower - This song was also like Old Me to me where I didn’t really love it at first but really liked it the second time. It’s definitely not gonna be a favorite of the album or a song I’m probs gonna remember forever but I bet it’s gonna be a BOP at concerts which is always appreciated. PLUS I love that Calum is singing he has a very unique voice I think. Also side note I justopened the livestream and it’s a hot mess lmaooo Ash rly fucking fucked up and needed to move it onto Cal lmaoo here I thought I was in sync with everyone smh. Rating: 7.5/10 with room to grow with more listens i’m assuming

Best Years - Anyways moving on from the livestream mess from these kids who don’t know technology,,, oof first impressions: sounds like same vibes as ghost of you?? I love the line “I’ll build a house out of the mess” or whatever. The part where he sings “best yeeaaarrs” is uhhh kinda weird? I thought that when Luke sang this on live but I thought it might sound better on the track but lmao nah I still think it sounds awkward tbh. But the verses are cute. Oof that instrumental was so long I legit stopped paying attention dafkdasjlk OOF OOF OOF THAT PART WHEN THE INSTRUMENTS KICKED IN okay I live for that. Song is kinda short so it gives me vibes of Lie To Me + Ghost Of You in terms of vibe (not lyrics). Rating: 6/10

Side note: I open the stream and they’re?? Just talking abt the album???? What happened to group listen lmaoo okay I guess gotta do everything in isolation around here smh

Not in the Same Way - woah okay start right away I guess !! “You say go I won’t leave” oof I don’t like that lyric cause a bitch has dealt with it and it’s terrible!! Omg when they said “NOT IN THE SAME WAY” in unison I legit live for the boys singing in unison okay OMG WE FUCK WE FIGHT AFDKAKLDJKL he really just gets more blatant every album w these swears huh fdskjkl OOF THAT DRUM BUILD UP SOUNDED SO GOOD Okay this is def a song to bop to live I can’t wait !! “I’m sick of sadness you’re sick of sadness” oof these lyrics bitch…. okay this song is kinda repetitive which is making me kinda tired BUT it’s not the worst thing and I like the parts that they’re repeating i guess LOL oh WOAH that “eh eh ehh” part is kinda interesting OMG IS THAT AN ORIGINAL BRIDGE/THIRD VERSE? From *MY* 5sos?????????? OKAY I SEE YOU,,, Okay the repetitiveness is kinda rly annoying now but it’s okay I still enjoy the song for now but can see myself maybe not listening to this song much later bc of it (Rating: 7/10)

Lover of Mine - Okay acoustic song of the album icu icu “Butterfly lies chase them away” interesting I like that  “dance around the living room” 👀 oof this pre-chorus is really good I’m such a slut for good prechoruses !! Luke’s voice sounds so soothing and smooth but the drums in the background in the second half are a little? Much? I don’t know maybe they’ll grow on me… I really like the lyrics of this song, I didn’t focus completely on everything but,, dare I say,,,, it might be some of their strongest writing yet??!? Omg I love love love these instrumentals near the end esp the piano sounds so beautiful and kind of reminded me of the interlude after San Francisco. Overall I think this song was honestly very beautiful. Rating: 8/10

Thin White Lies - more bass yessss it sounds so good,, are these lyrics about depression? Ehhh not feeling this chorus at all, too much going on and it’s just not a bop and that’s my only criteria for liking songs lmaoo. This song is giving me Empty Wallets + Babylon vibes kind of? Which isn’t rly my favorite vibe in songs tbh it’s just not for me, I don’t think it’s a bad song, though. “I don’t really like me anymore” :((((( mood Rating: 6/10

Lonely Heart - That one two three was so hot ngl,,, ANOTHER acoustic song?? Okay okay interesting. WOAH WHEN THEY CAME IN together god I love that and this OH OH OH part sooo catchy yesss okay also smth I’ve noticed 5sos doing a lot: quiet beginning (or quiet verses) and loud/bop-y choruses… that’s like half the album look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong !! It’s the equivalent of YB being mostly normal guitar verses and then instrumental pre-choruses lmao at least this I like a lot more WOAH THAT BRIDGE???????? WHO IS SINGING THAT IS THAT MICHAEL? I literally don’t recognize whose voice that is has it been that long since I heard his voice am I tripping?? But either way that was really cool. The song overall was pretty? Plain but not at all bad and it’ll definitely grow on me with more listens. Rating: 7/10

High - last song im so sad ahhh oof that sound it sounded like Michael? And it was umm very ear orgasmic lmao weird to put two songs that start like that one after the other tho but whatever. Woah the way Luke sang “highly” was so angelic !!! This is very acoustic-y too, but it seems like it’s truly mostly the same vibe throughout. Oof Calum’s harmonies sound so good. I also like the background “Ah”s this song sounds very angelic and pretty. I really like the way he sings the lyrics like “I hope you think of me high… think of me highly” and the part after that kind of mirrors that line. Not a huge fan of the lyric saying your friends just want you to yourself oof friends don’t like imma be honest that line was kinda cringy lmaoo But this song was very pretty, though honestly I doubt I’ll listen to it much or remember it just cause slow songs aren’t my cup of tea, but I can really appreciate the song for what it is and it was enjoyable to listen to. Rating: 8/10

Unrelated: I like that the album isn’t crazy long like every other album of theirs. I much prefer concentrating on 12 great songs than making 16-20 and then inevitably them hating/ignoring a few of them cause they’re like,, way worse than the rest of the album

Average rating: Okay technically 7.1/10 BUT if you take out Easier, then it’s a solid 7.5/10

I liked a lot of the songs and I’m sure I’ll like them even more with more listens, but the only ones I really LOVED were Red Desert and No Shame. It’s honestly a fantastic album, I just don’t think it fits my personal vibe. I’m very proud of the boys!! I really think it’s some of their best work. (Besides Easier,,, she can choke 💀💀)

#also idk music terms so if any were wrong pls dont come for me lol #forgot to mention this but i like the album a lot better than yb #i'd rate them sgfg > calm > yb > self titled #calm #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos thoughts

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 15

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY LOSES THEIR SHIT ON MAIN:

“Tell her I said: fuck you, you miserable, conniving bitch. I don’t answer her summons. I don’t obey her orders. I’m through. I’m through with her, with all of you—”

THERE’S LORE, BUT IMPORTANTLY MURPHY REMEMBERS WHY THEY THINK CINDER’S HOT. LITERALLY.

already??? already??? yes, already. this chapter is called ‘nothing personal’ anmd i think that this is a lie. this is abt to get very personal very quickly.

It had taken two more days for Glynda’s soul to become bearable enough for Cinder to sit next to her on a bus.

out of the funniest lines they could have used to open the chapter up, this is just Peak. there’s so many moving parts to this. glynda’s rank soul. cinder having to be nice for TWO DAYS to make her chill out. the fact they’re taking the most menial form of transport of all time. oh my god they were sat beside each other. this is already so funny.

Gravity Dust glittered like volcanic glass.

👈😎👈 we sure love volcanoes around here huh

The clearing Cinder found was some twenty minutes from where she left Glynda with instructions for something salty for her.

im almost POSITIVE im not supposed to find these lines funny but cinder you are RADIATING salt you are COMPOSED ENTIRELY of salt please. you’ve asked for smthng salty and glynda’s gonna come back announcing she’s foiled all yr plans on accident again.

Mercury had stopped sending messages a month and a half ago. Emerald’s last one was a week old.

im almost definitely mentioned it in a prior liveblog but its worth remembering: cinder’s relationship w/ merc and em rly was the deciding factor in me suddenly loving her as a character and i just. every interaction they have hurts so good. cinders got TWO kids and even if her face says otherwise she loves them very much and that heals me on the inside

“There’s no way anyone knows about this island. We’re the only ones out here. Merc and I have to get his shitty frozen pizzas airshipped in.”

“Still. Be careful.” She paused for a moment. “...Is that all he’s eating?”

“You know he’d die before he ate a vegetable.”

“He will, at this rate.”

I LOVE U MOMMA CINDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is SO good. this section HEALS ME!!!!!!!! which is good because i have a feeling the rest of this will gore me alive

"I promise. At the end of all of this, I'm coming back and I'm not leaving again. Trust me."

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA god u cant tell thru text alone but this section is K I L L I N G me and H E A L I N G me and also KIL L I

“It doesn’t have anything to do with trust,” Cinder said, miserably. “I need you to be safe.”

N G M E

The line between us and them had felt so concrete.

god i just. theres so much i still cant say that isnt 👈👈👈😨👈👈👈 but cinder and hati and all this other STUFF happening in the bg is so good and i just love how nuanced this dumbass is. cinder fall, the woman who never wins, and her brief moments of comfort. she is my ANGEEEEEEEEEEL

Now the only thing left was to deliver her to Atlas; if she had to speak with her more to do that, she would.

Not that she wanted to have to admit that to Hati.

cinder:there’s a lot of we and our going on and i’m a little nervous that the more we talk the more thats gonna happen and i gotta say; not a fan.

and [Glynda]’s desperate for—”

A heritage? A purpose? Belonging?

“She’s desperate,” Cinder finished, softly. Then: “She’s coming willingly.”

this might be another 👈😎👈 situation or im just drawing parallels like a three year old with a newfound ruler but HRM. CINDER. HRM.

Rather, her stomach twisted at the implications. Everything was ready. The machine worked. All that was left was to deliver the final piece.

“Okay. Good.” It was good. It was the culmination of years of work.

whats good and fun is watching cinder wrestle w/ her own humanity and its rly good because even as she tries her very best to use ppl to her own ends that pesky lil soft bitch inside makes her second guess everything and its GREAT fun. u can rly see that as soon as she spends longer than an allotted 10 minutes w/ somebody she starts being like ‘hrm. oh no’. oh cinder. u soft bitch. ilu.

The spot beneath his wing, though… Cinder folded into it as though it were meant for her, as though they were meant for each other, bodies fitted so easily. Here, safe, she closed her eyes and dreamed bleakly of the days to come.

i swear to god i cannot wait until [redacted] and [redacted] and [REDACTED] happens cause then i can lose my shit abt this ALL OVER AGAIN but for now. for now. immerse myself in cinder cuddles. im holding back but on the inside im feral

but Cinder was all calm, sliding through the trees like she belonged here. Like it was her domain by birthright.

FERAL.... FERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because they were not friends, Glynda asked, “Where are we going?”

i love that glynda has to preface it like a reminder. because they were not friends. because she cannot trust winter. because she blocked oz’s number lmao. it’s great seeing how much more... clinical, i guess, glynda’s thoughts are, and it’s a great way to show the narratives differences? its GOOD is what im trying 2 say on main,

Instead, she complained, “It’s so difficult to be so wanted.”

firstly: i love cinder “i have a complaint” fall is secondly: i am going to read into this. i am going to read into this and divine a second meaning. i am reading into it.

Cinder emerged from the dark like a leviathan sloughing off a sunless sea. It rippled around her shoulders, swallowed the back of her skull, but the only sharpness to her was her smile. It was the first time Cinder had smiled since returning from her meeting with the Manticore.

oho. ohoohohohoooohohohooOUGHHOHOHO she hot. nasty mean lady big hott.

“You don’t scare me,” Glynda insisted.

“Silly you,” said Cinder. “Come on. I’ll lead.”

hohogughgohohoghgh f flirtign.......................,,,,,,,,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

a faint light was stirring to life before her—suffusing out along Cinder’s chest and throat, spilling from her heart and out through her skin. In the beginning, it was so faint it seemed to be an illusion; but no, soon enough it was undeniable, and Glynda could even make out the rough shapes of the wall and floor.

YEEEEEEEEES i love. glowy lantern cinder. like theres a lot of fun little canons abt cinder in this fic i adore but the fact that she glows is like fuckin TOP. look at her. lil candle baby. shes like a microwave bean toy. i adore her.

She walked like a queen through her domain, seemingly irrespective of where on Remnant they were; even here, underground, in forgotten left-behind places, Cinder reigned.

god im sorry im too busy being gay to even be paying attention to anything rn i LOVE cinder to DEATH,,,,,,,,,, she knows shes the thing 2 be feared around here and its so good. i cant wait for her to open her big mouth and fuck it up again!!!

“High Leader Khan requires your presence in Mistral, Ms. Fall. She advises that you attend promptly, in order to discuss the missing members of our organization.”

A hum. Cinder said, “I don’t want to.”

GHSDFGSDFGHKJDF cinder you are. smthng else. shes just so LIKE THAT. what a great chapter for cinder this has been im SIPPIN baby

okay im doing a lot of leaping haead here and its not for lack of having anything 2 say in fact its QUITE the opposite because this whole bit is. wow. we got lore??? lore??? abt so many things??? what does any of it mean????? I AM NOT SURE BUT IM LOVIN IT (tm)

“It’s not a Semblance, idiot.” The control in Cinder’s voice was all staccato, pitching cold to inferno in an instant. “It was a gift.

okay bear with me for this JUICY LORE but i am Deeply fascinated by this section. im not gonna. say anything because idk how this is tying up yet (bear with) but HOO. HOOOOOOO. im trying to like keep grabbing sections but this whole part is SO GOOD i am loving-- like-- id have to-- TRUST ME THE OG WASNT AS SPICY AS THIS OKAY

THIS IS SO MUCH SPICER AND ITS GOOD

Cinder glowed like the magma heart of a volcano.

ITS SPICY ITS GOOD ITS 👈😍👈

im gonna have to reread this bit to get the full effect because the downside of a liveblog like this is having to stop-start but OUGHGHGHGUGHUGH THE LORE,,, THE MASKS,,, THE FANG??? also sienna dont listen 2 her baby i love u too

Cinder looked like a line to be crossed, and even though they weren’t friends—rather the opposite—Glynda found she didn’t want to cross her. Not now, when the emotion was still raw on her face.

oughgh... the vulnerability. cinder... snoft... but also angery 😔

this was SUCH a good chapter im DYING i love cinder in offal hunt to BITS and this arc is already feeding me so much good shit. fuck yea. FUCK YEA. HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog #welcome to the cinder fall defence squad how may i take yr order

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

#god rip to my gf when every question i answer abt what its like having sex w me is just 'uh! awkward!' #Anonymous

[xp-egg]

paranoia/mental illness/disturbing tw.. related to the post i made on my main blog

So im about to drive up to see my mama for hanukkah, alone as i do each yr. redacted THING happened a few summers ago but essentially bc of it she believes ppl from [Japanese automobile corporation] tried to m*rder her on the job nd now cant keep a job or a place to live so she lives w my baba . i havent talked to her in a year for reasons i will explain ...so we r texting abt my travel plan, cooking plan, talking for the first time all yr besides birthday wishes n stuff, shes talking normally, we say our goodbyes/cantwaittoseeyous. bht 12ish hours later she sends me, un-explained with no preface, a cryptic list of what i slowly figure out are license plate numbers out of nowhere n says ppl are trying to run her over n cackling (this is not new.. just i havent had to deal w it all year and i was hoping she could let it go for just a few days....), i ask if she has gotten to a safe place and ofc she says shit like 'well unfortunately natasha i will never be safe. they follow me at all moments and one day you will read abt ur mother having been killed, etc etc.' like omg i just cant talk to u. At all. Anymore. can i not have one day.. without this... please g*d... she cant be around ANYONE bc she thinks they are all working w [car company] conspiring to m*rder, slander, whatever her.. shes lost 12 jobs in the past 4 years. everytime we go out in public she screams at people for even glancing at her/smiling at her and claims they were [doing some weird threatening thing they certainly werent ? .. like sometimes ppl with certain names or wearing A CERTAIN COLOR is enough to be a SIGN and she loses it and starts telling them loudly to fuck off and stop looking at her.... my non-hallucinating brain as a witness] and im mildly concerned someone WILL kill her in retaliation for her being insane in their face.. (she had some guy start yelling back at her and she recorded it as 'proof'. He was clearly very annoyed at her saying terrible accusations at him when he was trying to mind his fucking business.....it was indescribably scary but like can i blame him? she was being highly inappropriate publically.. SHE was prob scaring HIM. she scares me lmao) like she has been so mild mannered and rational her whole life.. she has a degree in chemistry and a literal genius IQ. its like watching a loving animal slowly go violently rabid. It Sucks

last year she finally accused ME of also being paid off/threatened by [company] to conspire against her JUST bc i went to visit her older brothers family (my aunt n cousins who are the family members ive been closest to our whole lives aside from my mother nd baba) w my bf at the time bc i wanted him to meet my non-insane family members..... JUST FOR VISITING MY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS BC THEY ARE EXPECTING ME TO VISIT N THEY LOVE ME ? Like they love my mom too but multiple years of being accused of being bought off, or [company] threatening to m*rder my cousins (she always says the most brutal and disturbingly specific details too) if they didnt do whatever thing would intimidate my mom, [in this case purchasing the most affordable reliable new family car they could from [company] ..it WAS right after she told them about her initial event but likethey needed a new car and her claims are literally delusional. i rly dont want to disown my other family for that but its a hard decision.. terrible situation], but being accused to conspire to m*rder her gets tiring so they gave up a while ago. when she accused ME even tho i have been the literal last person to stand by her for the past 4.5 years.. i never made her feel like her claims were impossible even when literally everyone else did bc i figured she needed a buoy.. i said fuck it i can't talk to you anymore. i will start going insane too . we have all tried to comfortingly reason w her (well i didnt for a while, i just wholly accepted her story without trying to reason with her INSANE JUMPS IN CORRELATION.. fully bizarre and delusional.. bc i wanted to support her), i spent so much more money getting a less reliable car just to avoid buying from [company], supported her contacting the authorities (obviously they can't help bc she is making insane claims), make her feel as safe n protected.. did as much as we possibly could but like... theres a limit. this is year 4.5 of this, every day, every hour. EVERY year she says well the dirt on [company] will get out this year.. youll see.. ill be validated (essentially). she went to inpatient treatment and she said they accused her of having barbituates in her system when she arrived (what) nd the only diagnosis they gave her was 'rule out paranoid delusion' (bro come on... she thinks EVERYONE is trying to k*ll her.. help) so she wont get any more help. i want to at least try and save my baba bc she is old and puts up w this every single day. but on top of having my own problems, by saving my baba id be damning my mother, or myself. i never know what to do....

but well anyways i love driving hours into a fucking hornets nest each year. at least there are latkes ig

#i cant imagine what its like on her end but i just cant take it anymore #shes the only one im close to and this is so much worse than her dying.... i feel very alone #she says TERRIBLE things too #like in a normal casual conversation just forcing erratic phrases containing m*rder r*pe #insanely violent and disturbing phrases #its so embarrassing bc she does it around strangers... the two boyfriends ive tried to let her meet... our landlord in 2014.. #idk what to do. #tw disturbing #on a personal level its miserable isolating n combined w my own personal failures contributes to my own s**** ideation #but on an impersonal level omg i want to write a book SO bad the things she has tried to accuse this company of are like otherdimensional #its very sad and almost hilarious bc it is SO insane #whatever i hate everything

[pepprs]

[DONT RB] ok so there’s no way for me to talk abt this that isn’t gonna make me look like an absolute dumbass but im in the middle of a creative existential crisis and i rly need help figuring it out :•( this is gonna get SUPER LONG so im putting it under a readmore. thank u to anyone who reads this!!! and double thank u to anyone who can give some input / advice, i rly rly appreciate it. im sorry abt the length!

aight so for some background.... ive been drawing n writing poetry for abt 5 yrs now and both of those things r rly important to me. in school im an english major w a creative writing minor (for the poetry) and i work as a graphic designer (for the art) so ive been growing a lot as an artist and writer esp in the past 2 yrs and im kinda workin towards one or the other (or ideally both somehow!) as a career. one of the biggest dreams ive had since i started seriously pursuing both of these hobbies 5 yrs ago is to publish a book of poetry that i design / illustrate myself, and also to have a portfolio online where ppl can read all of my poetry and see all of my artwork (both professional / work stuff but also archives of all of my sketchbooks since those r rly important to me!!!) and maybe even make some sort of online shop where ppl can buy my art (stickers, keychains, etc!) and my poetry books!

that sounds pretty simple right? WRONG!!!!!! why? bc im a fucking idiot! and there are several dumb things i do that make this dream completely impossible for me to achieve! love that for me!

so for starters... ive been posting (almost) all of my art and ALL of my poetry online for all 5 yrs ive been creating it. that’s bad because:

ive hardly ever used my real name (which i would want to use for the book / shop / portfolio), it’s been under my usernames / aliases that go along w them (p*pe, pep, pea, etc and related usernames that shall not be mentioned) and i started going by my real first name only abt a yr ago, but still maintain those usernames for the most part in conjunction w my real name

my work has been primarily been posted to d*viantart and tumblr which aren’t exactly the most uh... professional places to do that. not that there rly are many i guess lmao but still

my online persona on these platforms is rly like. lax and loose which is Cool And Quirky when brought into a professional setting if it’s done right i guess.... but im just immature and unprofessional. i swear all the time, i shitpost constantly, im incessantly tmi? and that’s not even it like it’s just a whole mess!

SO there’s that whole set of problems and like im just concerned because... i stopped posting art online last yr for the most part and a lot of the old stuff that’s on dA (since that was rly where i did it most) is bad and not worth sharing like that anyways, so im not as worried abt that. but my poetry.... i still actively post that online in all my messiness and candidness here and like. it’s rly not that hard to find me? like if u copy a poem of mine and put it in google it’ll pull up my dA right away! and that’s like.... GOD i just am embarrassed for anyone irl to see that or for that to be connected with my irl / professional self in the future, but i don’t want to stop posting my work there (or here!!!!!) bc the community is so supportive and ive made some rly good connections / built a lot of traction over the 5 yrs ive been doing it. (PLUS for the online portfolio i wanna do specifically... i kinda want to post all of my art and poetry there, like everything ive ever done (specifically poetry, ive written almost 500 poems over the 5 yrs ive been doing it!), but i feel like that’s not rly the most professional thing to do and idk how to even gauge whether it is or not :-/)

but that’s not all!!!! because there’s another part to this and that is: the very nature of the content i produce is Not Good! for my art it’s not as much of a problem bc since I work as an artist rn a lot of what i make is professional, but for my personal art... a lot of that is either self portraits or my characters and a lot of my characters are like. animals. like specifically pepe (who is basically Me As A Cat).... i draw her constantly and so much of my best work is of her but it’s just like? embarrassing i guess for my ocs to take up so much of my portfolio and sketchbooks and stuff and share that. like i know everyone has characters and it’s not bad to do that and share that but i feel like ppl will judge me :-( so it’s made me rly hesitant to post stuff to my art ig for example bc i just don’t fucking know how to act, like it’s bad enough that i can’t type the way i want to and i have to type in proper caps n whatever instead bc irls i don’t know / trust as well follow me (including some ppl from work? Yikes?)....... but i feel like i can’t share my sketchbook stuff for example bc it’s all cats and my characters and visual shitposts and im uncomfy to share that bc like... im almost 20 and i don’t want ppl to think im immature or whatever? i kno i should feel like it’s my account and i can post wot i want but like. i fucking can’t bro i just can’t!!

and THEN.... my poetry. that’s the biggie bc like for my art? even tho im uncomfortable i don’t mind sharing that w ppl i know irl but for my POETRY.... it’s very easy to find like where i share that i guess? (the google thing i mentioned earlier but also its linked to my art on here and dA too... f) but i literally never actively share my writing w irl ppl unless im performing @ an open mic or workshopping in class bc im fucking terrified of the possibility of irl ppl finding my poetry. it’s almost ironic how public ive been w it online but how private i am abt it irl... it’s like im living a double life and it’s fucking terrible but it’s the only way i feel safe. bc like art is what i do for other ppl and also to destress and vent when i need a quick fix on my own time. but poetry.... that’s personal, it’s where i feel most like myself, it’s how i talk abt my life and ppl in it and make meaning of things and talk abt things authentically and Get Deep. and my literal worst nightmare is for ppl (who have the explicit ability to by virtue of Knowing Me) to read into it and Understand what im talking abt and have that power over me and see me differently for feeling the way i do or doing what i do. ive actually already been burned by this before after my mom read some work of mine that had been published irl (i don’t want to get too into it but basically i retroactively outed myself thru her reading that poem for what it was and it was Very Very Bad) and as paranoid abt it as i was before, it’s even worse now that it’s actually happened to me and could happen again at any time, esp if i decide to take my work further.

that manifests in a few ways too, like my writing is so cryptic and vague and very heavy on metaphors / symbolism and shit partially out of that deep fear and need to shield myself and my work. sometimes in spaces where i do feel comfy sharing, ppl have a hard time understanding my poetry unless i give context. online and on stage and in workshop ppl don’t rly know me outside of a context where the only thing we have in common is self expression thru poetry, so i don’t rly mind sharing more when it’s appropriate. but if i were to share my work as a book or w/e, ppl im close to (who maybe don’t always think like a poet / artist does bc they aren’t that) would want to buy it and read it and might ask abt what it means and i don’t even know what i would do in that situation. and if ppl were to read my work and see themselves / others in it, whether it is abt them or not, im scared it could genuinely damage relationships like it did with my mom.

SO UH.... idk where im going w this rly, i kno it’s long and rambly and melodramatic and im probably overthinking it and making a mountain out of a molehill and nobody even knows / cares abt me AND my work @ the same time enough to read That Deep into it. but it just fucking sucks that im so uncomfortable and insecure that i can’t comfortably fulfill literally the one single long term goal / life dream that i have. andthe thing that sucks is i can’t talk to Anybody abt this except like... my sister and brother bc they’re the only ppl i genuinely tell everything to, but they don’t have the knowledge and expertise abt art / poetry that like... my poetry prof does, for example. and my poetry prof is one of the best ppl ive ever met and the Only person ive ever met irl who respects and understands my poetry in the exact way i need someone to. she and i have been talking and she rly wants to help me publish my poetry bc she sees merit in my work and knows how bad i want to / how successful it’s been already, but i don’t know how to talk abt this to her bc im embarrassed to tell her abt posting online and being ashamed abt my muses and all that and it just!!! sucks so much bc i kinda want to publish my work @ least once before i graduate and do it semi regularly for the rest of my life? but there’s so much in my way and it’s just! FGGFHDGJGGGG

#purrs #DONT RB #lms if u read please!!! #ALSO!!!! i sound so dumb but i rly hope i didnt offend anyone.... i dont judge anyone but myself for the stuff i do and as for being uncomfy #w sharing my work.... its literally not u its me and my deep dissatisfaction w who i am as a person. and in a perfect world i would b comfy #sharing things abt my life w other ppl but im not and its on me and not bc of anyone else (w the exception of my mom lel) #i guess the aquarius moon rly did jump out 😔 #god i feel so dumb and mean and conceited for posting this but if anyone has suggestions / advice / anything rly i rly appreciate it! #and thank u so much to anyone who took tje time to read this @ all bc like. its a lot i kno im just. a lot

[musashi]

why'd you stop talking to velv//etvi//olence

ooooh this is the kinda spicy invasive drunk ask i love lmao

the timeline is like....... god i need to really fucking remember, ok so

so i saw her in the pokeani tag and was like oh she seems chill, invited her to my rocket server, everything seemed mostly alright but she had this tendency to like, dominate conversation that i think i was sympathetic to because i also do that without trying. she cut me a lot of times (usually by interrupting me mid-sentence or just like. changing the topic when i was infodumping) which kinda sucked but i didn’t rly think much of it at the time

i think at one point i did get kinda upset w her a few times but i mostly kept it to myself, we talked it out once and she was pretty chill and i was like cool. that’s the only time i can ever really remember it like, even coming close to conflict.

but then she just kinda disappeared from my life. she left my server, stopped following me, stopped interacting with me. i have abandonment issues like woah but i tried to like. get over myself i guess? cause i rly liked being friends with her. but seeing her on my dash all the time (i was still following her cause... friend? idk) was starting to weigh on me. at some point she started interacting hardcore with another rocketblogger who was just really mean to me out of the blue 

(tothestarsabove/fairy-feather, who basically hardblocked me and when i asked why said it was because i was an elitist dsfgsdf.... when i asked them what they meant they basically cited how i don’t like genwunners. which, like, whatever i guess, if hating genwunners & gatekeepers makes me an elitist then cool, ill get that word tattooed, fuck you & ur celebrating of negativity)

and so i unfollowed her because shit just got too painful. around that time she went on a vagueblogging spree where she basically implied that i “drove her out of the pokeani fandom” and i vagueblogged right back because like... wtf dude. in the time since i’d stopped talking to her, i found out she made a NUMBER of my friends wildly uncomfortable--a lot of them felt talked over and made smaller whenever she’d get online, and several of them cited instances to me where she’d literally just backhandedly insult them and pretend it was friendly or constructive criticism. we started combing through reviews she’d left on our fics, and found that a lot of these reviews were just, like... her talking about herself, and her opinions, and then leaving some subtle sneering comment and saying NOTHING good about the artwork. the only person she didn’t do this to was me, the most outspoken and confident of all of us. it was... weirdly predatory. one of my friends in particular confided to me that whenever she would get online, they would leave the chat, cause her mere presence made them feel like utter shit.

a little while after i made my vagueblog abt rachel she was creeping on my blog like she does and she saw some art i drew of me & a friend (one of the aforementioned friends who was in the chat w/ us) and she literally SENT THAT FRIEND A MESSAGE UNSOLITICED, OUT OF NOWHERE, that just said ‘are you and madi dating?’

this made me livid, for a number of reasons, like

1. she insists on using the name madi. people in bad graces with me LOVE doing this. they KNOW that name is reserved for my close friends, they KNOW i do NOT allow people to use it unless they have earned it. they always go out of their way to disrespect me by using it. ALWAYS. it is such a subtle way to insult me.

2. the picture i drew with this friend was completely platonic. it was me and my closest canonmate, dressed in our kintype’s outfits. in the description, i talked about how happy i was to know this friend, to have met them again. it was like, romantic in a poetic sense, but it was nothing i would not say to any other close friend, regardless of gender. the words were just, like, sweet and purple? like most of my words are?

when u consider these facts, the statement ‘are you and madi dating?’ is incredibly fucking gross. what grounds does she have to fucking ask something like that 1. to someone she hasn;t SPOKEN to in months and 2. to someone minding their own business just trying to move on from the terrible fucking experience of knowing her? like, i’m gonna be fucking blunt: it was lesbophobic. it was MAJORLY lesbophobic. one of the most COMMON stereotypes about lesbians is that we prey on women. she saw a lesbian write a sweet message for a close female friend, and she could not POSSIBLY comprehend the idea of a lesbian NOT jumping said friends’ bones. her immediate assumption was that we HAD to be dating.

not to mention, she more or less circumvented the fact that i blocked her by sending this message to a former friend of hers who DIDN’T. and when said friend sent me a screenshot of this message, like “holy shit, can you believe she SAID this?” rightfully appalled, she tried to guilt trip this friend ( “how could you? why would you screencap that? i trusted you!” )

the more i’ve distanced myself from her the more i realize i agree with my friends. she was incredibly mean to me and she made me feel small and afraid to speak up. her defense for this is that i ‘constantly vagueblogged’ about her which is absolute bullshit. she even told me herself that she had anxiety and ‘automatically assumed every single subtweet’ was about her. to this day, she sticks to this story. that i vagueblogged about my friend, even though i’ve never ever since my YOUTH vented about a friend in a public place where they might see it, where it might hurt them. she didn’t even upset me enough when we were friends to warrant that, all the vagueblogging came long after she left my life.

anyways when i called her on this she had the audacity to say she wasn’t a raging lesbophobe. as if she has a right to speak over a lesbian on what is and isn’t dykephobia. she’s not a lesbian. she lost the argument before she opened her mouth.

anyways her fic fucking sucks and she writes the most ooc jessie i have ever SEEN and is probably fandomhopping as we speak but yeah girl is made of red flags and reeks of potential abuser and every time i think about her i really fucking feel like i dodged a bullet. stop reblogging her shit and supporting her. it was a mistake for me to be her friend and a mistake for me to keep her around for so long. i possess immeasurable guilt for exposing half of my closest, kindest friends to her knowing the damage she has done to some of them. i can never fuckin get that time back.

#n0 rebl0gs #wendy rants #Anonymous #wendy answers

[unproduciblesmackdown]

The opposite of your last post for the ask meme! Like 1, 5, 9..

thank you lol sorry it took me a minute to get to posting these answers......i also skipped a couple that got asked previously via answering all primes lol

1: What inspires you?

hm well just basic stuff like “being in a good mood” lol or “being hyped up by friends” or “having reason to be particularly excited about something” which is all like, factors that Contribute Energy......learning about stuff / trying something and discovering like oh i’m Into this thing, or that for whatever reason something turns out to be more within reach / doable than i might’ve thought, like, hey i wanna get on this maybe.......~creatively~ it’s great to like, see other ppl’s art, and while i’ve sure been Inspired by professional artists, overall i’m more like, influenced and motivated by seeing the styles / specific works of Online Randos like me.......i also Draw to create [self-indulgent (usually fairly) niche fanart which is also probably gay and is all the time of characters i like] so like, the Stuff I Wanna Make Fanart Of (which has Whatever characters i specifically would like to draw lol) is sure directly Inspiring in that way. i’d say i never had that experience of like, ppl being kids and seeing some [distributed work in a certain art medium] like oh i want to make my own [distributed work in a certain art medium] as in like, i wanna publish a book, i wanna make movies, etc, but i guess i Did b/c i was like elementary school age in the early-to-mid 00s and experienced some instances of online fanart like :o :o wow damn ppl can do that?? just be a rando drawing fanart and sharing it w/ other people online???? and today i am living that dream, so good for me lol. and also i’d like to shoutout marge simpson anime, which is a particular piece of Online Art (technically fanart even lol) which was like, unusually Motivating as a single work of art lol, i made a notes app fanart like immediately and then a way more “painterly” piece of fanart that was v directly inspired by it lol.......and i was sure Drawing It Up last last winter when bmc 3.0 was impending / happening, b/c i got into like Just in the dec before, so that was Fresh, and then bam the Content is happening concurrently and as soon as we even just learned that jeremy has glasses i immediately spent like honestly 25 consecutive hours making fanart for that exact Inspiration. we didn’t even know abt the hello kitty shoes yet!!! and naturally im not out here for stats or clout but it is Inspiring when ppl enjoy the stuff i make and let me know one way or another. [tag comments that express enthusiasm in any way.....Appreciated]

9: Do you trust people easily, or do people have to earn your trust?

i have to say i am wary! that’s in part just like, a default anxiety defensive mode lol. but it takes me a hot minute (aka weeks....or months.....) to realize when someone like, would like to be friends or something, so while i can be Friendly and Outgoing w/ people like, immediately, i’m not picking up relationships left and right that are close enough that i’d particularly talk about “trust” or whatever. i’m not necessarily Distrustful either lol, it’s more just like, again re: the constant wariness thing. it is not unlike a cat lmao i vibe with them lol i Get that [approach]....and there’s been times i’ve been like “hmm i sure do Not vibe with this person ever and am not comfortable around them / interacting with them to any extent beyond occasional casual interactions that i don’t super enjoy. that’s me being overly anxious and failing to be personable i guess!!” and then that person Does give that reason down the line like oh, actually, that eternal uneasiness was warranted :/ damb

21: How does someone become friends with you?

yknow i was like “didn’t i Also answer this one previously” but it turned out the question i was thinking of, which i Had answered, was “how does someone become important to you” lmao.....same diff

tbh it’s kind of an arduous process lmao like. first of all i am Bad about initiating shit, and a lot of times will like, be wary of Directly Interacting with people for a while b/c i am also Bad At not being too passive / unwilling to assert anything so like, if someone’s regularly interacting with me but i’m not into it / Eventually Realize i’m not into it, it’s that thing again where my main strat is [v gradually sidle away] lol and just find it difficult to extricate myself from interactions / relationships and so that plays into me really feeling like i have to have some real confidence that i’d get on with / vibe with someone Before i start significantly interacting with / getting involved with them which....is also difficult natch lol like. can’t rly get a great feel for what someone’s like w/o talking to them.......but then if i Distance myself at all at any point will that be taken as rejection or whatever.......and then anyways say i Am talking to someone, then it’s like, also i’m just not fantastic at casual conversation always and that stage where you don’t know someone too well and talking is mostly a Polite Ritual and it’s like oh god don’t mess up, respond Normally lmaoo......i am nervous. and i also have a tendency to just naturally try to make an interaction go smoothly than immediately prioritize / feel comfortable busting out My Personality lmao.....so then even if ppl are responding well enough it’s like ah jeez i know we’re all performing always but have i shown them What I’m Actually Like to any significant degree, am i just masking it up / mirroring the crap out of how they talk?? and also it then takes me quite a while to put together “if someone keeps talking to you / choosing to interact with you for like, weeks, it probably means they want to / are interested in doing so” lol.........and then i’ll take ages more of trying to consciously Be More Myself without *also* feeling like this is too much of an act lol, and gradually picking up like oh they’re still not like, annoyed or disinterested or something..............what i am trying to say is it sure takes a minute lol

also when i Am attempting sometimes to like [initiate interaction] with people my version of being Active is still not all that active lmao i will be like [occasional Like] or [even more occasional reply] or [tag comments or no comments coz it’s twitter and im rt-ing stuff] and it’s like oh wow if we’re not having more regular interaction i suppose i’ve failed or something?? does this mean anything further lol, did i do anything.....but welp gotta have that perspective that Not Necessarily lol and i’m not the only person in the world who might not make friends or even friendly acquaintances easily / at the drop of a hat and u can’t necessarily read way into shit that hasn’t Actually been communicated to you.......naturally though it is easier to have some ~perspective~ and Serenity about all this sort of thing when you do already have some Friends lmao........been feeling (and consciously nudging myself towards feeling) More Chill about say like, friendly acquaintances i have who aren’t raring to interact with me on the reg.......ppl i’ll go months or half a year or more between having a convo with and then we’ll be like trading dm’s for a couple days and then it’s back to not really talking, and that Is What It Is, not necessarily a tragedy, and really it feels “rude” to acknowledge to myself like oh i’m not sure that me and whomever even Vibe well enough that *i’d* be raring to talk all the time either, but hey, it’s also true, i don’t have to be Validated by ppl who know me having me in their friend circles in any significant way......i be out here on the peripheral / outer orbits and i can appreciate that for what it is, even if, again, easier to be more Cool with that when i’m not Only in ppl’s periphery...........i appreciate the pal i have who like, 99% of how we Communicate is occasionally sending each other pics of our cats, not very intimate but also back when i was offline for months on end they eventually went out of their way to find someone to get in touch with to verify i hadn’t like died or anything lol........i appreciate the Gestures of Caring that ppl have and do extend, even if we do not actually talk regularly. 

and like also i’m bad at like. idk the main way i talk is again, At Some Length and often about real specific shit lol so im like woop aware that many ppl are not into that, or they might be down for having an exchange like that for a day and then they’re done.........not at all like wholly Against more lol Conversational conversations but i gotta say that’s more of a struggle lmao..........so let’s say befriending me takes some Patience. i kinda operate on [cat] rules. jellicle

25: How do you stop yourself from going back to toxic people?

i absolutely am Refraining from launching off on a ted talk of a tangent that is also me being the [the guy about to throw down a card on the pile on the table and that card pile is like “any conversation” and the guy is labeled “me” and the One Card about to be played is labeled “it’s capitalism” or smthing like that and also it’s all in spanish].jpg.......

anyways idk just try to keep things in perspective, right......i generally am pretty Passive about gradually sidling away from relationships that are bad and so by the time i Have exited them it’s pretty overdue lmao and i get to be quite confident that it was The Right Thing........and just when looking back on stuff it’s like, well if you remember the Good or “Not That Bad(tm)” parts maybe consciously think about the whole of it And specifically the Bad parts / the reasons for peacing out.......also the other day i was mulling over some standard [conflicted / complicated feelings about having cut certain ppl out entirely] and it also occurred to me that a lot of the [conflicted] feeling part came from sympathy for them, whereas from the perspective of Entirely My Own Feelings On The Matter minus that “how do/would they feel about it” consideration, the thought of never interacting w/ these ppl is like. fine with me lol........stuff like this is always Complicated and Individual and there’s certainly no like, one-stop simple Guide To Navigating All This Kind Of Thing, Cmon It’s Easy........another consideration i saw the other day via a graphic on twitter, which is probably most relevant re: say, controlling / abusive Partners, was how like, to think about how someone is acting if they’re saying you should Take Them Back b/c they’ve Changed their behavior, but to pay attention to if they’re trying to guilt you into it / justifying or downplaying their previous behavior / shifting blame and otherwise manifesting the inherently harmful and controlling patterns that are supposed to be gone now........anyways yeah complicated stuff and also just p.s. (and what would’ve been the jumping off point for the It’s-Capitalism tangential essay lol) ppl shouldn’t be blamed if they do choose to let someone back in their life like oh now they’re responsible for bringing their mistreatment upon themself.....no better than blaming someone for, say, having a harmful / controlling romantic partner in the first place like oh well they should’ve known better than to have gotten involved with this person..........ppl are in control of their own abusive behavior and shouldn’t be considered Forces Of Nature no matter how intransigent they are

33: Do you have someone you know you can always rely on?

tbt question 9 lol there’s defo some people that i do trust! love it....

45: Do you consider yourself creative?

another #tbt to question 1 lol.......i mean Yes i am creative in ways but like, who Isn’t, really.......think sometimes “creativity” means “do you like, do Art things” which, yes i do, but then within that there’s art that’s deemed more ~creative~ or w/e......not to mention that i don’t think something has to be definitively labeled an Art to be creative. like, for example, Science and Art aren’t opposites / the antithesis of each other, and anytime defines ~science~ as like, people just memorizing and outputting Facts and Numbers and considers this a distinction from Being An Artist.....wild and i Will fight you lmao. i tell you i can v much remember times i have had to completely disengage to keep from losing my cool at people arguing about “why i respect science but could only be an artist :’|” or “why Art is actually harder than Science and also we’re the underdogs b/c society values science so much more :’|” like.....mf...........anyways scientific pursuits may certainly have a different Methodology (see: scientific method) than art but lbr it still requires creativity and science and art are friends you fucking fools................and then also just zooming in on the Art-Making business here, i also like, have never had any interest in coming up with Original stories / characters and the like, and i don’t enjoy trying and it just really is not my thing, and it’s Funny or something when people wanna say that creative fanworks have value b/c they let ppl cut their teeth for what really matters, inevitably making their own original content(tm)......that isn’t inevitable for me lol and certainly is nothing i aim to do ever, and when there’s the suggestion that if you’re Good enough at ur medium you gotta manifest some of that original the character do not steal shit.........anyways i’m not pressed to claim i am an Artist(tm) or Creative(tm) lol like i guess technically i am both but i have no professional aspirations and my brain does not Do [generate original content] so it’s all like, i’m just out here.........s/o to this time i was trying to do my fuckin thing drawing on a tablet in a cafe and some random annoying guy is trying to talk and i happen to mention like “lol i don’t exactly call myself an artist really” and Guy goes “OH REALLY??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ARTISTS? WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE WITH ART” like please cool it lmao but god p sure it was a guy who was just. very Around and very annoying in general

49: Do you feel like you’re a good person?

yeah i think i’m alright but really what is the use in like considering there 2 be achievable Good or Bad Person Statuses for everyone........let’s say it’s an ongoing, active state to be in the process of consciously choosing to be Good and working towards Better. especially considering that We Live In A Society which tries to teach everyone and continuously imbues our existence with Bad Messages about how to perceive and engage with other people, and being A Good Person is a lifelong effort and it’s unhelpful to feel that if you’re already Good or well-intentioned enough you can just dust off your hands and be like “well my work here is done” and be unprepared to examine your beliefs/actions or deal with the might-as-well-assume-it’s-an-inevitability that even if u have some noble-ass beliefs you’ll fail to live up to them at some point/s.......so like yeah lol again i feel like i am a pretty good person but can always be better and ought to be aware of / willing to work on that at any point