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nikethestatue · 2 months

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this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.

Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh

And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.

All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out

Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!

Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?

I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??

They got mad because you were right. That's it.

SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.

We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).

These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.

Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.

They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.

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stardustdiiving · 7 months

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I would read your zhongxiao codependent yuri Like, I do generally picture them as a vaguely father/son dynamic BUT THAT IS NOT CANON. It's just as much fun to view them through a romantic interpretation! Idk why people can't view the same characters in different kinds of relationships without being weird about it.

Anyway I love your vision and would love to hear more about it lakdjs

THANK U SO MUCH Im not sure if I’m gonna write zx in the future since I’ve tended to be shy about posting my stuff relating to them for over a yr now, but I did post this fic with them last year while trying to get a hold on how to write them (mind the tags it’s pure angst omg). I was too shy to tag it as ship since it didn’t feel shippy enough, which is kind of funny to me in hindsight bc I reread it and am like. Man I think only a zx shipper would write this NUFNVJVJV

Post got kind of lot Im gonna go on a tangent about them under the cut

Honestly my theory for why ppl r very set on the father/son interpretation is everyone’s immediate thought on to how to make the power imbalance between them seem less uncomfortable is to apply a parental interpretation to it. Which is fine ofc, I get it, but the way ppl push it as canon a lot kind of grates on me a little bc they’re usually incredibly passive aggressive and pushy even if u clearly designate ur post as ship OTL

Also not really a fan of the characterizations either since ppl tend to treat Xiao like a moody teenager Zhongli has to reel in (this is hilariously reminiscent of the post I made about how ppl handle scaramouche and nahida a bit ago haha). And idk I just feel kind of polarized about the headcanon overall bc I associate it with people being really uncomfortable and frustrating about zx

I just like how there’s sort of an imbalance to them, some zxs like them being more fluffy and functional but I sort of like it where it’s not like, entirely dysfunctional but I’m prioritizing a specific kind of character study over romance. This tends to be how a lot of my ships go ngl I just sometimes enjoy the intensity/intimacy of romantic feelings thrown into the mix if it makes it interesting but I’m not often interested in a lot of my ships following more standard romance plots(?) I guess? Unless it’s specific ones. Which sounds clinical when I put it like that but this is just bc I am very aromantic NHFBVJVJ

When I say codependency in zhongxiao honestly it’s sort of a theoretical(?) codependency—not sure how to word it? I think Xiao would be really fucked up if he didn’t have Zhongli in his life suddenly but I don’t think his relationship with getting attached to people invokes what people would majorly think of when they think of codependency in a ship I suppose. It’s moreso I just feel Xiao could be at his worst with dehumanizing himself in comparison to other people with Zhongli, because said mental state is driven by how he feels about debt, service, and duty which are very closely tied with devotion and how he would feel about someone he considers his god and leader, as well as someone who saved him

It’s fun this is paired with Zhongli who generally knows how to work with Xiao kind of understands the self destructive depth Xiao’s loyalty/devotion comes with. Also fun they have been around each other for a very long time and Xiao as one of the adepti is familiar with the past I think Zhongli appreciates having around. They work but it’s also a case where Zhongli is in such a position of power over Xiao its kind of very delicate situation that’s hard for both of them to navigate. Which is fun to explore. I esp love contrasting it with other Xiao pairings (actually i think i still have that xiaoven fic up on my ao3 where I tried to convey a specific interpretation of them in a similar exploration vein too)

I totally get why people wouldn’t like it (I feel a lot of my opinions on xiao ships just clash with a lot of fandom consensus so bad all the time And it’s just bc I’m like this I’m not even trying to be contrarian or anything. HELDINCJD) but I just tend to handle shipping in a specific way. It’s not I don’t enjoy fluffy or lighthearted zl and xiao stuff I actually enjoy it a lot I just like there being layers. This makes it feel more impactful when I think about how Zhongli looks out for Xiao in canon or how Xiao gets like textually flustered talking to him (lantern rite 2023 was so tailored to my tastes it’s not even funny)

#the yuri part is more of an inside joke w my friends bc this is how we all talk but I did once compare zx to my sapphic awakening pairing #which is rose & Pearl from steven universe and it is truly my favorite thing to pitch to people verbally bc It kind of sounds #incomprehensible but also I’m totally onto something….no one understands….#Pearl and xiao r literally both spear wielding birds who’s arc revolves around being ok w being a person who lives for themselves ://#and they r eternally grateful to their war general leader . no one gets it. it torments me personally bc #I loved Pearl SU when I was 11 and now I enjoy xiao a lot and it’s like…we’ll these r very different characters but also I think I have not #changes. JUDJDKXJD #it’s 3am I woke up in a haze to answer this…I need to go to bed smh #fern.txt #zhongxiao #Edit: I woke up and finished writing this post and I a #am so tired #asks

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thefloatingstone · 10 months

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Ok I know you probably never want to hear about high guardian spice again (and honestly fair if I were to put so much time into something I disliked I wouldn’t want to touch it ever again) but I just finished watching the 5 hour complete saga compilation of your essays (which has been added to my comfort video essays playlist bc I watch it so religiously now) and you make the point of the characters failing because Raye Rodriguez was too emotionally attached and saw them as OCs to the point where he couldn’t stand to see them do wrong.

But here’s the thing - isn’t the whole thing about being an artist or writer with OCs is to endlessly traumatize or torture them (or at least from my internet experience)?

So not only is Raye bad at writing characters, he just doesn’t know how to have OCs other than “yeah I draw them in cute setting and ship them because their color palettes go together”

(Also love your videos, love your art, please make a million more ok thank you goodbye)

askhdkasjkdjs THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU????

When I saw the notification I thought I was gonna get yelled at for a recent post I made saying "tumblr is actually fine right now" so this was a really nice surprise to wake up to 😂

And I get what you mean but i think I would word it differently;

I think the whole thing with OCs is to push them into situations that forces them to act in extreme ways they wouldn't otherwise, most often for the best (they can heroic, they can emotional, they can say the things they've been holding back, they can be open to be cared for, they can be emotionally honest, they can show weakness, they can show strength) but also sometimes for the worst. (they can become enraged, they can lash out, they can become violent, they can become selfish, they can harm others etc etc). Or more often than not, a mix of both (they can be selfish and therefor decide to heoricly protect the people they are selfish about because those people belong to THEM.)

But I don't think this is the be all end all. Some people may just want OCs to have as comfort characters. Some people NEED those OCs to be comfort characters, for whatever reason in real life, to just have characters who live gentle, quiet lives, form bonds with their friends, forms close connections with the community, and just live peacefully.

I think in HGS' case, the problem is not that Raye is too attached to his OCs to "put them in situations", but more he is too attached to his OCs to allow them to make mistakes in a way that might put them in a bad light. Of course, in doing so it makes the characters come across as HORRIBLE people. When his OCs make mistakes, they tend to be mistakes that stem from them actively being bad people (or just nonsensical like Rose being the one to kill the sea dragon for no real explained reason at all). But the resolution to these mistakes is most often to acknowledge "I did something bad" but then go "BUT it's because I am struggling with x y or z" and turn the apology into excuses and explanations in a way that makes the person they're apologising to have to make THEM feel better.

"Wow I'm so sorry! I never knew you were going through all that!".

But I'm going off track here.

Basically I don't think all OCs need to be pushed into extreme situations or emotions to be "good". Not at all. I just think the situations that the HGS characters are put in are not handled correctly in the lead up to those events, nor the follow through to those events.

But I do think that you cannot write characters in a professional tv show and still treat them with the same mentality as "these are my deviantArt OCs who I ship together and like drawing cute outfits in".

There has to be a certain level of criticality to the characters. You have to be able to recognise flaws they have. And that's not even a problem! Because those flaws are what make a character INTERESTING.

I'm busy having fun watching people watch Unicorn Warriors Eternal, and it's been a lot of fun seeing what people make of my favourite character, Edred. Some people REALLY fucking hate him, but most people really enjoy him. Because he is an EXCEPTIONALLY flawed character. But he's likeable because he is very obviously a good person who deeply cares about the people close to him. And also because every fuck up he does in the show comes back to bite him in the ass a few episodes later and make his own life harder.

lol YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, EDRED!

You cannot write your characters as if their flaws are insults when pointed out. Even if you're only writing cute, slice of life stuff without any extreme situations or emotions.

My favourite Slice of Life anime are the OG classics, Lucky Star and Azumanga Daioh. Nothing extreme happens in either shows, but their characters, especially Azumanga, are still alowed to have flaws which are treated AS flaws.

And it's fine. It's ok to treat those flaws AS flaws and not try and excuse or quickly justify the things the characters do wrong.

#C-Puff answers #long post

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astraeus-moon · 11 months

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@melchinafan Sorry for the late ish response I feel kinda sick so it took me a while longer to organize my thoughts. Also here we fucking go apologies for no read more sins I am on mobile

And no I haven't seen those ign articles! More canon info to add to my hordes! And Jacob :( sad baby girl. I'll probably post those (The screenshots of the new info) later for easy access for others

Your point on all 4 of heros being effected makes me wonder if Grave lock girls magic has sort of an area of effect or if the alpha vampires magic is a double edged sword in positively affecting the heros

And ooooo I didn't know there were other blood remnants that came in dif forms makes me wonder if they are somewhat similar to the alpha vamp remnants bc I think i remember it being mentioned somewhere the vial also had psychic residue?? Could not be I'm just losing it but eh. And the psychic residue perhaps being in the blood/body? And that's why it alters you?

And yeah I agree! I think that we don't carry them into the fight just to crack open the door and sort of wave a red flag at a bull sort of way

And then when the alpha vampire dies we get the remnant imbued with a bit of that vamps specific magic

And yeah perhaps using the skulls almost a psychic lockpick if those chosen had been imbued with some of the alphas powers (referring to the trickle down effect you noticed, Vampire mlm is a concept that will be lodged in my brain now)

The biggest one for Bellwether not giving a shit I believe was a piece of dialog that said like "once we get out of here do you think they'll drop a nuke on this place" which made me laugh bc I audibly went just like resident evil grqt2h3 which despite some of the negative reviews comparisons to other games the lack of resident evil with vampires is making me laugh (I mean it in a positive way I'm very attached to RE)

Plus I don't think a privately funded not so small military/mercanary group is gonna lose sleep over a "few" civilian casualties (especially not when you can write em off as vampire deaths when it comes down to it)

Yeah I agree! One of my main grievances was I wish that side quest/mini bosses got more diversity and watchers idk if those are miniboss types as I think they go down p easy (but like I said can't/haven't played the game so I could be wrong) they seem closer to the mutated cultists than "true" vampires

And totally get you on lore one of my other favorite games is destiny 2 and holy shit the amount of environmental storytelling/lore is so strong they have a fan run website to compile it all so I totally get you.

And ooo I'm always looking for new games to watch/obsess over so I'll have to check it out

And yeah unfortunately the people I watched wernt too into grave lock collecting and the only 100 locations video I've found doesn't play em in full

And yeah with Addison I won't spoil it but holy shit he was the worst one too me I wrote out/expanded on the house of Echos mission so I was rewatching and it ended up being 4k words but also it was woof. I almost wish they swapped the order of the map start out in the second way with the other 2 then work into the 1st area for the hollow man

Yeah my sort of interpretation (both in how I'm writing and general fun) is that his Ravens outlines + his guns lock on are from that eye but a fun thing I had was giving them all like the way things are highlighted blue for you to grab some of the psychic residue as most of the psychic energy we see (barring layla) tend to be a pale blue - teal(?) Ish color and it was just funny to me that the highlights for important objects were similar

I agree with vampires probably having night vision as they are supposed to be a sort of apex predator so night vision fits with the whole can't go in the sun. It does make me wonder if Jacob would run into issues in direct sunlight with that eye time to invest in sunglasses my guy

And yeah I hadn't considered the psychic spaces as like stronger spaces where the trance is louder, bc in my thoughts I think the trance is a seperate but adjacent magic thing to what turned them into vampires

It definitely seems like the magic sort of got them all or bolstered abilities in some way and come on we both know that devs def smart enough to crack teleportation lmaooo necessity is the mother of invention and all that. But I do think that magic and science go hand in hand (destiny 2 is so great for that reason aswell because so much of what looks like magic can be kinda turned into science)

I think Remis ult is pure video game but healing it would make sense if it gave out a sort of opposite end of the spectrum vampire healing and helped you regenerate by like tapping into that magic that's settled in you or the vials/remnants

yeah we don't know how the healing actually works as you don't regen health unless you find medpacks which leads me to believe you do have to needle and thread it up instead of magic video game heal as explained in dishonored or prey

And yeah I'm assuming vamp regen at best at worst, you should uhhhh probably got get that looked at bud and yeah blood as fuel is a good idea even if it was connected or disconnected

And yeah the tissues, I'd imagine a wash cloth would be slightly more useful than tissues but eh and yeah sort of a gunk goop dripping thing (ie Eris Morn from destiny with her hive eyes)

And yeah! I think to be a bloodbag/sin eater it also I think is slightly voluntary(?) As the sin eaters are like that. And the blood bags seem pretty eager so maybe the most devoted cultists get turned into em

And yeah I'm uncertain bc I remember for one of the missions Jacob has a line like "but slitting the throat of your neighbor to get in." Or smth like that it's been awhile

And yeah vampire mlm, and yeah definitely maybe the more sacrifices brought in = higher chance of getting turned

I think it's a bit of both as we see with the alphas they were all real shitty people beforehand and yknow being willing to kill others to further your own gain definitely fits under "bloodsucker" (derogatory) in my mind lmao

And I think that's why Jason got away was bc hes not a bad person and was rather selfless hence but still also perhaps shaped by the intent of the person giving you magic (jacobs raven, laylas telekinesis which is something other higher up vampires can do as weve seen with the sea) But also made to shape you're own natural abilities remis healing, devs gadgets :) especially in those latter two cases where they wernt forced really to have the powers

The slow boil is soooo intresting to me bc like where were they? Like in the nests psychic spaces and just coming out to feed plus with the size of the alphas I think that'd kick up a fuss

I think probably a but of both, as drug trials/medical research like aevum was doing was bound to test on mice at least and upon observing the effects may have worked there way up to humans but huge fucking claw marks are probably vampires especially from what we've seen they are extraordinarily wasteful with animals perhaps both as food and ensuring surviving humans can't get it

And birds + animals disappearing evokes a similar feeling of when animals tend to dip before natural disasters because there senses and instincts are so much stronger than ours but also vampires killing them because they couldn't go after people yet

also lmao yeah like idk where tf they were going with that like was the plan to eventually move out of redfall or use it like a home base or smth bc you kill the animals and the people you're gonna have to start eating each other

And yeah I have to imagine at least one cultist was wincing and didn't voice it but was very much like aw come on guys

And yeah! Idk if it's ever explained if vampires exclusively have to eat blood/meat or can eat other things aswell

And oh my God don't get me started on the impacts of introducing a fuck ton of apex predators into your ecosystem and food chain not to mention if other animals mutated and are breeding. Like just removing Wolves from Yellowstone was enough to fuck over the ecosystem I can imagine something on this scale plus the probably intense growth from the decomp rates of bodies.. anyone in an environmental science field would be tearing their hair out (specifically my own redfall oc whose a park ranger is not having a great time with that)

You would have to build ground up essentially as trying a top down approach would fuck up the few remaining secondary and primary consumers (obligatory environmental science rant over)

They all def do the trance def is giving hive mind vibes aswell as a removal of emotional/rational thinking makes me wonder if the blood trance heightens base instincts/hunting drive or aggression like with animals being aggressive and shit being fucked

And oh def, bc each of the bosses has there own space but the nests aswell which makes me wonder if vampires have their own allegiances or a nest is like a pack

And yeah hindsights 20/20 and yeah fears a hell of a motivator and cults pray on scared lonely people with no other options and yeah in too deep

I haven't! Unfortunately I haven't watched a dev playthrough and there's not too many multiplaythroughs on YouTube but I'll inform you if I come across any! And as for rough speculation on mothman physique(?) I think leathery makes sense from someone as logical as dev since it glides so it being similar to a bat or moth it almost makes me think of point pleasants.. intresting... statue of the mothman to say the least...

And yeah woof the scientists sure as hell are doing some malpractice although I'd admire arkanes commitment to fuck the rich with them being consistent enemies. And yeah sorry this got Hella long

#txt #wolf barks #redfall meta #redfall #but yeah i fucking love this game its lodged in my brain #can you tell i was a bane upon my english teachers #they either loved or hated me either way i was not shutting the fuck up #tysm talking to me about this tho!!!#im normal about video games

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babyjakes · 2 years

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keep the lotion on hand. [blurb.]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

summary | andy helps take care of your dry hands.

pairing | boyfriend!andy barber x reader

warnings | none :-) just andy barber being a sweetheart, a bad title bc i am kind of peabrain sometimes

word count | 250

requested by anon | I have a blurb idea: My hands tend to get dry and cracked in the cold and sometimes if they are dry hand sanitizer makes it worst but when I’m little or stressed I forget to put lotion on my hands and it just hurts 🥺 So I’m wondering if you can write a blurb about getting dry hands and Chris or Andy having to remind the reader to put lotion on and maybe give like a little hand massage 🥺💙

an | oh aww what i love this 🥺🥺 especially bc like yes omg dry hands are the worst and mine have been sooooo bad with all the hand washing and sanitizing due to the pandemic so here you go friend hope you enjoy!

“Baby, wait a second,” Andy says over your shoulder as you start adding water to the sink, planning on washing up the dishes from the night before.

“Hmm?” you hum, pausing the sink before turning to face him. His brow furrows with concern as he looks down at your hands, taking them in his own as he frowns. “What’s wrong?” you ask worriedly.

“Honey, do your hands hurt?” he asks, causing your concern to break into soft fondness as the sweet man fusses over you. “Here, I think I’ve got some…” Andy’s voice trails off as he reaches down into his pocket, pulling out a small tube of floral scented lotion. “These look painful, sweetheart. Gonna crack and bleed if you’re not careful.” Pumping out a decent amount of the lotion onto your hands, he returns the tube to his pocket before gently beginning to work the white cream over your tender hands.

“Thanks, but you really don’t have to-”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he assures you quickly as he continues to soothe your aching skin, causing you to flinch at one point from how damaged the flesh has become. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I’m trying to be gentle, I swear,” he murmurs as he finishes up, bringing both of your hands to his lips to give them a kiss. “Need to take better care of these, sweetheart. Next time they get dry and hurt like this, come tell me, okay? I’ll keep the lotion on hand, just for you.”

#eun's writing #keep the lotion on hand #andy barber #andy barber fanfiction #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #andy barber fluff #hurt/comfort #andy barber one shot #andy barber imagine #andy barber drabble #andy barber blurb #andy barber headcanon

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again-please · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @septemberskye c:

YOU go ahead and do this if you want! I tag THEE. go unto the tag and prosper.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

just the five!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

164,059. neat!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

actively just BG3. in the past, Star Wars, and a couple of extremely random, disparate things exclusive to my desktop

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

lmao I only HAVE five but A Little Further has the crown!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh god, I'm sorry, I do reply to a few here and there especially when I see direct questions for me, but honestly I just feel so awkward bc all I can think to say is "thank you!" with varying numbers of exclamation points. and I am extremely blessed in that recently a lot tend to come at once and I feel terrible that I don't have the brain capacity to give everyone a proper reply

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

of the fics I HAVE ended (slides down in chair), I don't think any of them are angsty! I will do some bittersweetness, but honestly, I like a generally happy ending. I like to include angst, but resolve it - even if the resolution is in a next part in a series

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess that'd have to be find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel. takes place post victory against the First Order (in a pre-TLJ AU setting) so everything being resolved is just FEELINGS (and we all know how we resolve FEELINGS in this house)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did actually get I think literally my first purely vitriolic comment the other day (again, I am DEEPLY fortunate) but honestly it didn't sound like they even read the fic it was left on? I guess I was just overdue for the experience lmao

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but uhhhh what kind...I'm not sure how I'd categorize it? I guess my aim is for it always to be predominantly romantic, but I will go where the wind takes me in a particular scene

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, just one! I wish I could find it but someone translated find a thread to pull, and we can watch it unravel.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! and unfortunately I would not wish me as a writing partner on my worst enemy lmao, I'm simply way too slow

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

it's always hard to see beyond the current obsession, but reylo and spuffy are soooo dear to me

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I feel particularly bad about survival season because I was in the home stretch, but man, when the inspiration dies it really dies

16. What are your writing strengths?

I want to say/dialogue banter, especially big group scenes, because that's when it really feels FUN for me and I accidentally go into a trance and do 1700 words of just conversation

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

other than being sloooooooooooow (700 words is a GREAT full day of writing for me), I cannot stick to an outline for the goddamn life of me. I really try and DO outline/summarize future chapters, but in the midst of a chapter suddenly something else will grab hold of me and I realize I actually need to write the complete opposite thing happening

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

oh I'm not remotely up to that task

19. First fandom you wrote for?

babes, it was Teen Titans. and NATURALLY I had an OC that joined the team and whom I (gasp) also freely used in half-baked X-Men stories. 10-year-old me had zero concept of the Marvel/DC divide and honestly I was happier for it

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I think A Little Further. that one kind of gave me my confidence back and in my head it's permanently associated with that "oh god why am I so obsessed with this FICTIONAL MAN" energy that gets you through the tough times

#tag games #adventures in writing #ty for the tag!!

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plan-d-to-i · 2 years

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today I am having an inordinate amount of feelings about jiang cheng and the tragic downward spiral that his entire arc is and how much he manages to achieve still

like we all tend to focus on wei wuxian for obvious reasons when it comes to this, and I love him dearly and do believe he embodies the jiang motto in the purest, most straightforward way, but actually all three jiang siblings attempted the impossible. it killed two of them. assuming that getting resurrected via demonic cultivation ritual against all odds and your own will gets you disqualified from this race, the only one who succeeded at the impossible in the long run and lived to tell the tale. was jiang cheng

this, what, eighteen, nineteen year old? watched every single member of his family but his newborn nephew die in extremely quick succession. had to rebuild his sect from ashes in the worst political circumstances. and post-nightless city, which we don’t get to see, had to navigate the fresh grief of losing both of his siblings, his precarious alliances with powerful sects, and the political consequences of the entire cultivation world turning his brother’s legacy into that of a traitor and a monster — which, regardless of jc’s own tangled mess of feelings on the matter, can you imagine the stain that would inevitably put on all of yunmeng jiang? how hard it would be to bounce back from something like that?

and yet the first time we see jiang cheng post time-skip it is so abundantly clear that he has restored yunmeng jiang to its previous standing and power and that he is far past needing to rely on the jins politically. jin ling gets upset with this masked stranger and the first thing he tells him is that he’ll regret crossing him when he finds out who his uncle is. not because he’s the jin heir. not because his other uncle is chief cultivator.

jiang cheng is the one people are scared of.

I know this is long but I had to share because this is peak JC stan delusion

"the only one who succeeded at the impossible in the long run and lived to tell the tale. was jiang cheng"

jc: *folds under peer pressure like a broken lawn chair*

jc stans: he'S doinG the impossibLe 🥺

"jc’s own tangled mess of feelings on the matter"

the way these people write triggers my fight or flight...

"is so abundantly clear that he has restored yunmeng jiang to its previous standing and power and that he is far past needing to rely on the jins politically"

LOL jc can't rely on anyone politically bc he's too annoying to have formed any alliances and everyone thinks he's unhinged bc he won't stop kidnapping and torturing randos on the off chance they're WWX...

#when I first got this I didn't realize it was a quote and I thought it was the weirdest jc stan anon hate I ever got

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thetearsofadove · 7 months

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I honestly love writing and writing for other people, but after doing it for years and seeing just how rude people can be is really making me reconsider releasing my writing for other people.

I love fanfiction. I've been writing it for almost 10 years. Started when I was 12, I'm 21 and turning 22 in February. I've blossomed. Fanfiction, both reading and writing it, has helped me grow as an author.

So obviously I'm going to want to share it with people. But...my god, it's become a horrible experience every time I've tried.

First, the entitlement that I see from readers. Sometimes, even from fellow writers. I don't know what's worse; when a reader is being an entitled douche, or a fellow writer.

Stop clogging my inbox with "UPDATE!! UPDATE!!" or things along the lines of begging me to update. I have a life. I have animals to tend to, I have money to make, I have mental health to keep in line. I'll update when I get to it. And if I don't? Apologies. But don't make it worse by making me panic.

I was nice enough to release free shit for you. Show me respect.

Also, stop telling authors what to write. Stop dictating what they should be writing. They don't have to write for a specific audience if they don't want to.

I wrote for DBD at one point and stopped because one asshole spammed me saying "write for Adam!! Horrible author, won't write for Adam".

I was going to in the future, I only started writing a few of the characters so I could work my way up. But I gave up.

Go find a writer that suits your tastes instead of insulting and demanding a random ass author to do it for you. Or, better yet? Do it yourself. We cannot read your mind, we have no idea what you want.

Wattpad is one of the worst sites for this. As a writer? Fuck Wattpad. Some of its users are so immature and entitled, it's insane.

I also cannot stand how people treat authors/writers like we're just these emotionless writing machines. I've specifically stated I am not taking requests right now, it's on my profile, so why are y'all sending me requests after I've stated they make me anxious and make me feel pressured? I left my ask box open for questions, that's it. I'm urged to now close it.

Authors/fanfiction writers are writing stuff for YOU for free. I am more than happy to write. I write for fandoms I'm not too involved in. I educate myself about said fandoms and characters in those fandoms so I can write them the best I can. I do it for YOU. Stop treating me like I'm not a human behind the screen with a life.

Also the lack of manners drives me fucking INSANE. Say please and thank you. Show some appreciation instead of "write this 4 me kthanx". It feels horrible, and like I said above, I am not some emotionless AI that writes for you. I have feelings. I spend an hour at the least out of my day writing for YOU when I could be writing for myself, drawing, watching my favourite TV shows...whatever.

Like...in general, be nice. Be kind. You wanna request? Add a please and thank you. Don't pressure authors. Also, don't make authors feel like they're responsible for your moods. I've been guilt tripped with "write this bc I feel sad and if you won't, I'll be more sad and it'll be your fault :((" and it makes me feel horrible.

I gave up writing for people in the past because I am let down every. single. time. It's 2023, fanfiction has existed for a VERY long time, the fact that being kind, patient and understanding isn't common knowledge is mind boggling.

Also? Get to know me a little bit, ffs. I have emotions. I have interests. Don't use me for just my work. It feels awful when I post something rambling about an interest or asking a QUESTION and I end up being ignored. It's fucking horrible.

#this is a vent but you can rb if you relate to this #writing #fanfiction #x reader #i get a lil heated in here i'm sorry lol #do not reblog or reply w/ arguments because idgaf and you will be blocked #let me vent. let a writer vent #vent #tw vent #vent post #i'm just fed up ykwim #speaking up for the fellow authors #cause after nearly a decade of poor treatment i am Tired with a capital T

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arisatominakos · 1 year

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i want your gif making lore. 7, 9, 17, 15, 20, 26, 40, 45, and 49!

dfkjaj LORE REQUEST RECEIVED

7. Who are your top 3 gif makers

ohmans thats hard khfdsa. i actually am big fans of a lot of gifmakers out there that i dont follow but i see their stuff all the time in the tags & rb from them etc etc. but like i do follow a lot of folks who’s stuff i rlly enjoy and are folks that tend to inspire me. its a bit unfair to list just three so fkjsdha uhh @aartyom @eurodynamic @onewingedangels @preciousgyro @entreri @marogarreh @thequantumranger @trident

9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs

i dont fully remember, i think a mix of just fandom stuff w/ friends & rp blogs. i do remember it was a hellacious journey until i could figure it out and since then i just have tried to keep improving or learning new things etc etc.

17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set

this is VERY dependent on the set im making at the time. i try to avoid like sets with a lot of images bc i get very tired with the task. but some stuff like i try to do between 2-5 so it looks nice in a post.

15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted

constantly. usually its my avan gifs or star trek gifs. which is like the major reason i dont do them anymore or do a lot of non-video game slash anime sets. i tend to confront the person or ask them to take it down & it goes as well as you expect half the time: not the best. the worst time was a rp blog stealing all my avan gifs, not aware i was in the same rp circles so like tons of mutuals( most shared between the two of us ) notified me & they blocked me on said blog so i had to message them from my personal + other blogs i had at the time as well as said mutuals spoke with them as well before they took them down. it was a very frustrating day.

20. Mac or PC

i have experience with both mac & pc, however my default is my pc which is built for gaming. i’ve had mac laptops in the past via my older sister who would give me her school handmedowns. as far as specifically creating art gifs what have you, i have no preference between the two.

26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now

sO I KNOW A LOT OF PPL DO THAT WHERE THEY MAKE STUFF AND SAVE IT IN DRAFTS BUT IM DKSJHA i just i dont have the like mental fortitude to make something and not post it soon after. back when i was doing rp stuff & writing i used my drafts very heavily for wips & i sorta do that w/ gifsets in a way. as i make them i have a opened draft to upload each one to see how they look on tumblr, if they upload correctly, & to check coloring between my main monitor secondary monitor & phone as well so i make sure colors are good theres no washes etc. so usually if there is something in the drafts im currently working on it or its about to be posted so there are zero things in my drafts other than this ask kfsha

40. Why do you make gifs

good question. no clue. fkjhdsa but its fun & i enjoy it. its also just fun to share my interests in a way that can be shared by other people in reblogs etc. reading the tags of my sets & seeing ppls reactions or just opinions or whatever is just it rlly makes it. I Make Gifs For The People.

45. Ever gotten hate over a set

i’ve had ppl disrespect me bc of a gifset but ive never gotten hate persay. i do get a lot of bitchy people upset about my “do not repost or remove caption.” that i add to my posts which like i tend to ignore. realistically i cant stop ppl from doing such but it has helped so i keep doing it. usually i get a comment on said set they reblogged that day or in the tag but ive gotten 1 ask once about it & it was p funny. but proper hate with a valid reason ? nah.

49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing

oH SO MUCH LOL. from coloring, to timing of the frames, to composition, to typography, to quality. the more i make the better i get. && there are things i want to redo to see how much i’ve improved. im not using the best tools to make these, but i’ve seen my improvement i’ve seen how much better i am & it’s rlly nice to be able to visually see your growth.

/ GIFMAKER ASKS

#farllee.asks #fashionablyfyrdraaca #yEAH THANKS FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS

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mementofloreo-archived · 1 year

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An Update/Happy New Years Letter from Toby!!

hi folks, here's a catchup post from yours truly! it's a bit long so i've put it under a readmore, but there's nothing too serious under there, it really is just a life update of the same sort I try to write every new year!

sorry for not being around lately! i've been having a pretty bad chronic pain flareup and have been kinda sick.

a while back my cat- who is a nasty little escape artist and very naughty boy!!- managed to get outside the house. it was on an evening when it would later get into the single digits.

milo's very important to me, and we live right next to a highway now, so every time he does this it's stressful. when he wasn't back home by around ten pm(despite each of us periodically going to check and call for him) I got pretty desperate. it was so cold out, and i felt distraught just thinking about him possibly getting sick or hurt or worse out there somewhere when it was 12 degrees and getting colder.

In the end I was wandering around calling for him out there for about half an hour, and then spent half an hour sitting on the patio with my phone and calling for him periodically. I knew spending so much time in the cold would make me really sick bc I've always been frail and highly sensitive to the cold dry of winter, so i have myself to blame for that.

i had to leave a blanket out for milo in the end bc it was getting hard to breathe; he did finally come home a little later and i found him on his blankie close to midnight. he was calm and not shivering or seeming sick, so he must have found somewhere pretty safe to hang out before coming and staying warm on the porch. he was VERY hungry and thirsty when he came inside but he's remained healthy since and in good spirits, so I'm fine with being sick. he's my baby and I would rather get a cold working to get him home than have him not come home at all, or let him get hurt or sick.

storytime aside, it's just a time of year when I tend to struggle a lot more with my emotional and mental health. my family has suffered through a lot of tragedies that took place around this time and it's also the worst time for my seasonal affective disorder. so on top of my physical health being worst in winter, so is all my other health. ongoing shortages of several different medications(mostly for adhd and similar symptoms) in my area mean that I am also without my adderall or concerta and haven't had reliable access since about november. I don't function at nearly even ten percent without them, so that has also been a big factor.

to my new mutuals, I'm sorry I haven't been around! I hope we can finally start chatting and plotting soon, because I truly do want to get to know you and see what clicks for us as writers.

and to my friends and other mutuals, thank you as always for your patience with my spotty activity and for still being sociable with and happy to hear from me even when I'm not feeling able to write. you're more precious to me(every one of you!!) than I can adequately express.

since the start of 2020, my life and my family's lives have all been very difficult, fraught with hardships of all different sorts and a lot of chaotic and unpredictable change. the divorce and eventual remarriage of one of my brothers; my mom and i moving out to live with her sister in the first months of 2020 in a last ditch effort to drive my dad to finally really address his drinking problem(he is now over a year sober!!!)

and then of course my mom getting sick that may,

and then never getting better.

and then we found out that she never would. she has chronic fatigue syndrome now, and issues with low blood pressure and breathing. the family home we'd lived in since I was just a little kid was old old old and we found out eventually that she had new mold allergies. as our savings dried up and we finally managed to sell and move out at the end of 2021, I knew '22 would be harrowing.

and it was. it was awful. from the end of january to the end of august I lived in the spare room at my brother's home, unsure what would happen from one day to the next, how long i would be there.

since early september my parents and i have been slowly settling into a double wide mobile home we were(by the grace of luck and higher powers) able to purchase rather than simply rent, when we had thought initially it would be difficult to even find an apartment that would meet mom's needs and be withing our range.

but we finally have some stability and peace of mind in our lives again. and I hope that will bode well for the rest of this year.

I don't know how soon I'll be consistently active here on the dashboard again, but I do want to try, even if it ends up a slow process. happy new year to all of you, and i dearly hope you will see more of me as it goes on.

-Toby

#tobes talks(ooc)#emo hours xoxo(in an optimistic way tho dw)#i am hoping to try and get back to more consistent and frequent activity here on-dash this year #it may take time!! but i do want to be here #thanks for your patience everyone!!

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slowdesire · 2 years

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oh my god ur post about being uncomfortable around ppl who know you and everything from ghosting and to moving accounts and tumblr being the only safe social media bc of its anonymity,,, i've been struggling with this for years and i didnt even know it had a name of its own, i thought it was just how i was or maybe a symptom of regular anxiety at worst and idk if this is something you'll relate to but its especially anxiety inducing for me when ppl who know me from different settings meet and i suddenly have to reconcile who i am with both people, or how ive always been okay with strangers seeing my art but never ppl that actually know me bc then theyd know too much. anyways sorry this is rambly and ik u said what u like abt this site is not having to talk to anyone so pls dont feel pressured to respond i just had to write this down somewhere bc it is a Revelation

it's totally fine that you sent this in! i actually deal better with asks and especially anon asks compared to messages. hope it's okay im responding, if you need me to take this down just let me know :-)

im glad you could relate to my post (which i deleted, sorry😭) on some level bc i know how great it can feel to be seen or understood by others in that sense. i feel the exact same way as you in terms of struggling with people from different social circles meeting, thus making you reconcile different sides of you in a way... i feel like that's an experience a lot of people have, not just limited to avpd or neurodivergence or anything, but it really is such an alienating conflicting kind of feeling. this was especially hard for me whenever i'd date anyone because other than when i dated a friend we all knew, my close friends would always want me to introduce my partner and even if that was perfectly reasonable i was always just internally like sorry i can't do it.... i can't let any of you meet one another. right now im wondering if that was one sign i wasn't all too ready to be in romantic relationships (and im still grappling with my conflicted feelings abt romance and being single rn). that was a huge tangent on my end lol but im just like you, i actually thought i was struggling with general anxiety for nearly forever!!! so the diagnosis for avpd was kind of shocking ... but also made a lot of sense in retrospect. though even right now, after several months, i don't quite know how to deal with it bc i can't afford therapy rn. but the label and knowledge abt it has been useful nonetheless. there isn't as much research on it and it's not as widely talked about, so i'm still trying to figure out what will help me out.. probably DBT (because CBT tends to stress me out for some reason). ANYWAYS that was another tangent ... im not saying you should say you have avpd or anything bc really there are so many overlaps with general anxiety, social anxiety, avpd, and even other personality disorders but !!!! i am just glad my random vent resonated with you and helped you reflect on things. im always trying to reflect too, since this is something i struggle with pretty much everyday in more aspects than just social life, so it's really nice to hear from you :-) making each other feel less alone :-)

#ans #omg i rambled hardcore

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artheresy · 7 months

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random Blade hc

Okay listen, I feel like Blade's senses are severely fucked up in a way and if I ever write a fic about him or smth, I will absolutely incorporate this

Like I can imagine him having weird sensations in areas where he never healed likely due to the injuries happening before being revived, but like I feel like the sensations he feels especially there cycle between either extreme numbness to the point he doesn't feel anything touching those areas or a deeply suffocating awareness and subtle pain coming from anything touching those areas including even the damages over his chest (which if those are not merely to keep a wound clean but also to keep his actual chest together like I saw someone theorize, then too bad for him bc he won't be able to take it off)

So yeah, in those areas it tends to be the worst, cycling between I can't feel parts of my body completely to a worrying degree or I am extremely overstimulated by the sensation of the fucking air surrounding those parts of my body and I want it all to end. He has these sensations all of his body though as well. It usually tends to lean closer to the numbness with Blade sometimes touching his limbs and feeling either as if his sense of touch is being muffled by something despite it being skin on skin (whether the space between his fingers and his limb is muffle or it feels as if the nerves themselves and the signal being sense is "muffled" just depends on the day) or like he uses his hand to touch his bare arm and it in his hand as if it isn't his own arm that he is touching and it feels in his arm as if the thing touching it isn't a hand that belongs to him. Never disconnected sensations if that makes sense to literally anyone else.

I imagine these both also heavily linking with him having frequent periods of disassociation. Like this man feels as if he's not within his body truly so so often and these sensations other keep furthering disconnecting him. He forgets those times a lot, or at leastthe details because he's definitely aware he experiences this and that he feels those sensations, he just can barely tell when exactly he's going in and out of those states and when he's had times previously like that. The rest of the Stellaron Hunters have found many ways to work around this and felt him out if they can, each having their own kind of methods to ground him. Or if they can't, they just look out for him.

Maybe I'll talk more about his other senses later as well, but it's 2 am rn so

I just am a firm believer of the idea of Blade feeling further dehumanizing and disconnected from the identity of Yingxing through this disconnected feeling to this body of his as if it is not his own. Just going rapidly through worrying disconnected feelings to feeling way WAY too much to the point it's painful

Is this post primarily projecting my own issues both sensory and otherwise onto Blade? Perhaps it is yes, but listen-

#This post is major projection #Vut I have never been more certain that a character would experience those strange strong disconnect from touch sensations as him #No but the disconnected ones? The muffle sensations shit?#That always sends me spiraling legitimately one of the worst feelings I ever get #Anyways #Blade definitely disassociates often becaus #Sources? Me #I'm sources #he's just like me fr #Yingxing had sensory issues too #But very different from Blade #Also again #Maybe its mostly projection #But looking at blades mental state the other factors affecting his memory and consciousness almost and like spirit whisper stuff #I just think he gets those feelings of depersonalization #Again though #This is mostly projection as #I am an autistic person myself eith a grocery list of other shit going on with me #Who experiences this exact sensory shit way too often #ALSO last bit of projection but #Autistic Yingxing/Blade is real to ME idk if you disagree #He is Autistic to ME #It's 2:30 am I fear the sleep Deprivation is getting to me #Good night everyonneee #hsr blade #Hsr #honkai star rail #yingxing #stellaron hunters #blade headcanons

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chronic-invisibility · 8 months

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I stopped coming on here for like almost a month i think bc i added some tags onto a post i reblogged and the op called me out and said i completely misunderstood everything (except they misunderstood what i was trying to say so fuck me ig) and i got upset and dipped. In the meantime, lots of stuff has happened, but also not much.

I went back to university, the semester started last Thursday and it’s going well so far, I’m majoring in Museum Studies bc I am a big nerd, and it’s a 100% online program so I’m still working and I don’t have to like, move to Arizona, which is good.

Work is meh, we’re starting vaccine clinics again soon so I’ll be doing that again with this season’s flu and covid shots, and maybe other vaccines as well I’m not sure what the regulations are now. We still only have one pharmacist on staff so we’re stuck with a rotating cast of floaters, some of whom are more helpful than others. And the customers are still horrible, that hasn’t changed. I got yelled at for 10 minutes today by someone who’s doctor called in over a dozen prescriptions and then faxed us and cancelled all of them so we put them all back, which was a mistake apparently and then after we finally got it sorted and got them called in again, we were supposed to close in 10 minutes so it was physically impossible to fill 15 prescriptions for one person, and she wanted us to stay open late just for her, which legally we can’t do and also no, we want to go home and she was being so rude we didn’t really want to help her at all. So yeah, work is work

In good news, I’ve been talking to someone i matched with on a dating app (my intro that they messaged me about was mcr related, so you know they’re a keeper) and we’ve been on 2 dates and text a lot and we’re planning on hanging out again this Tuesday. They’re a special ed teacher and they have adhd so they get how my brain works and they work with kids whose brains work similarly to both of ours, and they’re really funny and cool and smart and nice and pretty, I really hope this keeps going well bc I really like them.

I watched the newest season of Heartstopper twice in a row after it came out, reread all the comics that are out (Alice Oseman is still publishing them, too, so that’s nice) and then rewatched both seasons in a row. It’s so cute and so good and i can feel the hyperfixation building. I’ve watched it enough that I keep slipping into a british accent when I talk, which is entirely unintentional but not the worst thing. I can also do it on purpose, but i tend to pick up accents from people I hear talk a lot, which is maybe the only fun side effect of masking my whole life

I’ve seen a few really good plays and musicals recently, I know I saw The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window before i stopped posting on here, but that was really good, and then I saw Kimberly Akimbo the other day, it was INCREDIBLE. The music and the writing are amazing, obviously, and the actors were all so good, again obviously. They won 5 Tony’s last season, including for Best Musical and Best Featured Actress in a musical and Best Lead Actress in a musical, which were so well-deserved, I seriously cannot hype this show up enough. There’s so many good shows on Broadway right now and I wish I could see them all, there were a bunch I wanted to see but closed before I got the chance, too, including Prima Facie starring Jody Comer, but I bought the script for that one.

In less fun news, I think i might need to put a read more here bc there be triggers coming

Between my chronic GI issues (trying to see a specialist about it again but there’s a whole mess of problems with that i just don’t feel like typing) and watching season 2 of Heartstopper and also rereading it and seeing Charlie struggling with his eating disorder, I’ve lapsed pretty hard with my own. I can’t really call it a relapse bc I was never really actually trying to recover, but I was trying for a while to eat a little more normally, but that’s basically out the window now. Thanks brain, so helpful of you to see a person struggling with a similar mental illness to mine and say “well they’re sicker than you so you suck and also you need to work harder at being sick like them” like FUCK OFF that’s not helpful and also Charlie is literally a fictional character and most of the storyline is about how he’s trying to get help for his ed and how awful they are, and his ed and mine aren’t the same, nor are our reasons for being disordered. So that’s not been fun.

I also realized (after watching a video by a therapist reacting to the scene when Ben assaults Charlie in Heartstopper and then going and obsessively researching legal definitions) that what happened to me in the summer of 2019 would probably be classified as a rape, not just a sexual assault. Which it also was, but what happened falls under the legal definition of rape, not just assault. So I’ve been spiraling about that, even though I still remember almost none of it and once again my garbage brain has decided that I’m somehow not allowed to be that upset or say I’m traumatized bc I don’t experience two of the most common symptoms of ptsd (flashbacks and nightmares) so clearly, this is all me being dramatic, even though basically everything else fits. And those aren’t required to be diagnosed with ptsd. Not that I WANT ptsd, but for whatever reason I feel like i’m not allowed to even say i’m a little bit traumatized by what happened bc of that. Again, stupid brain. I also realized after talking to the person I’ve been talking to (idk if we’re officially dating, maybe i should ask) about boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with, that the last person who I’ve had any “romantic” physical contact with was the person who raped me, and also the only sexual contact I’ve ever had (unless i’ve blocked out more than just the one assault I know happened) was with that same person, so now i’m extremely anxious about doing anything with the person i’m sort of maybe dating, even though neither of us are interested in just jumping right to physical intimacy, they’ve also experienced similar situations so they’re anxious about it too, and also they’re a nice person who i’d trust to not push it if i wasn’t comfortable with something, but idk how to say “i’m anxious about kissing you even though i like you and i want to kiss you bc the last person i kissed was the person who raped me over 4 years ago”

I’m working on finding a new therapist now that i’m done with my IOP and i know that’s going to be one of the (far too many) things i need to deal with in therapy, as well as all the other trauma from that summer, and from my previous university experience, and my whole fucking childhood, and also my other issues that aren’t necessarily trauma related, although most of them probably are to a certain extent bc being an undiagnosed audhd person who also doesn’t realize they’re trans until they’re an adult is inherently traumatic.

I don’t know if there’s any other big stuff I want to/feel like I need to say that’s been going on, not that anybody will probably read all or any of this. But yeah, a lot is going on, but also not much is actively going on. This was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Oops.

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xoteajays · 8 months

Note

Oh! I did message you in instant messages. I can't always remember who I message someone. And I know that I send long messages that not everyone likes. So there's also that reason too.

Yeah. The High&Low franchise came out eight years ago. So you wish there was more people who still created content for the H&L fandom.

Which is bizarre to me? Because High&Low was a popular franchise when it came out, but now there seems to be nothing for the fandom. Especially because there are similarities between High&Low, Worst and Tokyo Revengers. Pretty boys who are delinquents. [I've only ever seen the Worst crossover movie with High&Low, not even the original series. So I can't comment much on Worst.]

Chimknj also wrote another High&Low story. Well.. There story would be a one shot, a one chapter story. Not that you have to read it. But it is a smutty story between Rocky and his girlfriend (original character) - during the events of the first movie.

And, I think, there is a person who's under the name FireOfJudgment on here. They have H&L stories, and AIB stories too. But I don't know what characters or ships they write for though. In case you may want to search their work. They might be an option for you.

It's best for me to write notes for ideas to stories, and characters, and who knows what else while being involved in the fandom. Because if I try writing when I'm not in any fandom, then my thoughts and ideas... I became fickle and scattered on what I want to write. It's a problem.

Being in a fandom makes me more focused to write for that fandom. If that makes any sense.

I mean.. The color coordination to my characters was accidental for me. Because I tend to go for a specific appearance for my characters, I was very adamant about using those people for my face claims but I wasn't sure for what fandom - and I probably will use them for a lot of other fandoms too. Most likely. But not sure which other fandoms yet though. Anyway. Anyway.. But one person's favorite color is blue, one is orange, and another is red which eventually became their signature colors. So I unconsciously connected them to their respective gangs, which is kinda funny because their personalities actually seem fitting for those gangs too. And since the High&Low cast of characters have been predominantly men, I wanted more female characters involved in the story. But there have been a few things I've been stick on lately.

i am just hella awful at answering my private messages. i’ll be like ‘ill reply to that in a bit’ and then completely forget.

it’s just weird. like fandoms used to stick around for longer and h&l is still relatively recent. like 2016 wasn’t even a decade ago yet! everybody go watch h&l and feel emotions you didn’t expect about a pretty boy gang show. the song ‘break into the dark’ literally got me F*cked Up, everybody go watch the unofficial music video.

i will absolutely go read a smutty fic, that’s half of what i’ve been reading lately anyway. love me an explicit fic. and rocky has grown on me, do really like that dude.

i used to be really good at writing short original stories, but now i find it a bit harder. need that high school inspired brain back. fanfics do come a bit easier for me, but i also second guess myself a lot and some stuff i don’t end up posting or even finishing. which is a shame bc it’s supposed to be a fun hobby. i definitely need a fandom to obsess over or i just go totally blank in the brain.

im so bad at colour coordinating my ocs, i can rarely ever decide on what colour suits them best. idk if anyone’s noticed how many light blue or pink characters i have ahsjdl. my own h&l oc kinda started as an oya oc and then developed into something more and got switched around a bit, i think i’m mostly happy with where she’s at rn tho. im having a lot of fun with her.

h&l is definitely lacking in the female character department. like even the strawberry milk girls don’t get a whole lot of screen time like i thought they would, which is a shame bc i think they’re cool and i love pink. i think naomi got the most screen time out of all the girls and even that wasnt a whole lot. n-e-way yamato’s mum and the bartender lady are, like, definitely gfs tho, that’s my hc.

#tj answers #writers bc like ‘its not gay!’ and then have no women in sight #there is no bechdel test passing here #long post //#long post anon

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three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat · 10 months

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OHH MY GOD THE "BEYOND..." OPTION I FORGOT AB THAT ONE!!! sksw link is such a rascal i love him so...

and donot fucking worry i know EXACTLY what ur talking abt with how it permeates the tags and ao3. finding good ao3 fics is impossible and ESPECIALLY for sksw and oot. im surprised ive found what good ones i can man. also i could talk for hours alone about how L/U has impacted malons character bc i adore her to the point of devoting a major part of my post-oot aus to what happens to her and seeing how shes interpreted nowadays is so. hhhhh !!!!!!! :((( stop making her a scolding mother figure stop making her Links Wife and nothing else she can be so much more than just that!!!!!!!!!!!! aauauausbaa. actually i could talk forever and ever abt how fanon link and malon and zelda tends to make them the worst possible versions of themselves and how l/u kinda perpetuates that but its 1 am and i have a fic to write so fffff

and the names man the names. its such a small thing (and im no stranger to sometimes using those abbreviations in some of my posts when i get especially verbose or have to talk abt multiple links all at once) but i try to go outta my way to refer to the chars as [game] [name] just to make it as clear as possible that im not talking abt the l/u counterparts. theyre practically their own chars to me at this point which sucks when im looking for content of my favs sksw link or oot link and i get Sleepy Soft Boy and Responsible Serious Soldier like no! no!!!!! thats my purse i dont know you /ref!!!!!!!

anyways. maybe i am just old and not with it since ive been a loz fan almost my entire life but it is nice to see someone who feels the same 👍 ty for lettin me complain for a moment there.

on a lighter note tell me about the "sksw link is not actually sleepy" thing bc im curious. its a thing thats mentioned abt pre-destiny link but after zelda falls it does kinda go away aside from the eyebags in his character model and i wanna kno what u hafta say ab it.........

You and I, we can be haters together

The one SMALL mercy I've found while looking up loz fics is that there's no lu fics in the ghiralink tag. For obvious reasons I think. Everywhere else seems to be a fucking HELLHOLE (the first thing I search when I first start looking for fics in a fandom is time travel and uh-- you can imagine what I found (BARELY FUCKING ANYTHING (and also lu)))

Also I haven't gotten around to watching an oot playthrough yet-- is it really that bad with Malon? (For the record I much prefer zelink and like-- I don't even really like zelink all that much beyond ss. And also I hc oot as siblings sometimes. So yeah.)

Honestly I would love to play oot but I can't :( and alas, watching playthroughs is just dreadfully dull (I got a decent way through an mm one though but gave up eventually). Regarding oot link's character though-- I admit I myself have not yet written a fic where it's not lu (or adjacent) so I don't really get the intricacies of his character (see also aforementioned playthrough dullness) so like. If you ever want to talk to someone about it all I would be interested

I also do the name thing, with game then character (on one hand the "hero titles" is just lazy and i really hate how it's become common and they would never give each other names like that but on the other the reason I haven't written much for MY links meet au is because I can't come up with 12 names that don't sound stupid and are also names they would give each other, so. And also apparently those names aren't official to lu (in comic jojo will use things like the old man (time) the smithy (four) the rancher (twilight) and full hero titles on posts (hero of the skies, hero of the four sword, etc)). So as you can see all bad things come from fandom, in this essay I will,

Ok so. It's been a while since I've fully played ss (like two months but my memory is just shit). So I might be wrong. But Link simply does not seem very sleepy to me? Especially not to the extent he is in lu.

For one-- our first introduction to him is him sleeping, yes, and we get told by many npcs and Zelda herself that he oversleeps, but there's a VAST difference between oversleeping and being sleepy. I myself am bad at alarms and such and beyond Premium Loftwing Mail (letter spat in your face) there's really nothing to wake him up, so he'd probably just sleep too long

Also he's been having dreams about the Imprisoned for who knows how long. Dude probably ain't sleeping that well (fi I love you but I think that might have been a mistake)

(Side note he's still in school and there's an open book on his desk-- he COULD be staying up late studying. Unlikely but I think that would be interesting)

Honestly it all just seems like teasing to me-- there's no indication that he's ACTUALLY constantly sleeping too long, just that it's happened enough times that some people have noticed (and it's not like everyone says it). Honestly the only thing pointing to a constant sleepiness is his "sit too long on a stool and start nodding off" animation (which is still like, really funny imo. how are you even DOING that you are SITTING STRAIGHT UP)

Now, delving into my own hcs and such-- he did not sleep. After Impa calls him lazy and too late at the earth temple, something I think would distinctly Fuck Him Up (he SAW the chains Zelda was held by), he would simply-- forgo sleep until it was necessary. I've seen estimates that sksw took place over about 11 months, and that's what I generally use in my fics, so-- my dude really said "I wont rest until I find Zelda" and then took a knife to his sleep schedule

(Side note-- do you think they held a funeral (or Skyloft equivalent) for Zelda? Like it seems that after a week or so of searching, the reasonable conclusion of her being dead would be reached (especially if her bird came back, which-- what's up with that? There must be some nesting area for loftwings, so either it would be seen there or it would also be presumed alongside Zelda if it got sucked down to the surface))

So anyway. His tiredness is self imposed, not something he's always had. (One of my febuwhump fics was that he was literally so exhausted he got hurt and passed out midfight. It was fun.)

Also like I don't know if it's just me but sleepy and tired have different meanings-- sleepy is, idk, cuter? Softer? And tired is. I haven't slept in 17 hours and before that I slept for three hours. (Maybe THAT'S just why it bugs me so much)

And also! Like you said! Beyond the eyebags (which are always there, lending credit to my theory of oversleeping because he simply didn't sleep well/enough) he's really... not tired OR sleepy for the majority of the game

Anyway moving onto lu :) SKY BEING THE LAZY ONE REALLY BUGS ME BECAUSE SIR HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED THE GAME. YOU'RE GOING TO ASSIGN HIM THE ATTRIBUTE OF LAZINESS WHEN HE ALMOST CERTAINLY PUSHED HIMSELF HARDER TO RESCUE ZELDA AFTER BEING CALLED SUCH? AND THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO REDUCE HIM TO? YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST PICKED SOMETHING COOL LIKE "GOD KILLER" OR SOMETHING ACCURATE LIKE "LITTLE SHIT"

Ha. He's the one who bugs me the most because ss is my favorite game (not just Zelda game, favorite out of anything) and I've put literal hundred of hours into it. There's honestly more I could say but i fear I've already descended into "wildly incomprehensible"

#sorry if i was talking weird in some bits i get like that when its late #mb and strawberryrosewood scream about hats

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