#i want it to stop but i literally cant do anything about it

[diorsluv]

feather , the drama queen

“ i say she’s too dramatic ”

series m. list

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, missseraphina and 310,937 others

yourusername photo dump time 🗣️🗣️

guess who ran into connor bedard at the family function 😱 he was looking at me weird n shit cuz me and mark were cosplaying as rapunzel and flynn rider

also i love taking screenshots of my bf and his goofy brothers when they look stupid!

tagged: lhughes_06, markestapa, _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, jamie.drysdale, masonmctavish23, _connorbedard

view all comments

jamie.drysdale where did you find that pic of us.

→ yourusername use ur common sense

→ trevorzegras this feels like a violation

→ yourusername it is! ☺️

_connorbedard i was looking at you weird because you are weird.

→ yourusername awww cmon ur no fun 😔 we all know im ur favorite relative

→ _connorbedard we’re not related.

→ jamie.drysdale oh my god not even your cousin loves you yourusername

→ yourusername SHUT UP JAMIE

→ _connorbedard WE’RE. NOT. COUSINS?????

→ trevorzegras breaking news!!! bedsy and jamie are related 😱😱

→ _connorbedard my finger is hovering over the block button

username44 funny that she posts this RIGHT NOW..

→ username10 they all have her blocked they don’t know anything

trevorzegras WHEN THERES SOMETHING STRANGE

→ yourusername IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

→ _quinnhughes aw that sounds just like the two of you

→ luca.fantilli WHO YOU GONNA CALL

→ rutgermcgroarty GHOSTBUSTERS!

→ adamfantilli 👻👻👻

→ yourusername quinn YOU’RE the strange looking thing in the neighborhood 🤬 _quinnhughes

→ jackhughes flashbacks to when that little kid got scared when he opened the door

→ _quinnhughes oh my god I WAS WEARING A COSTUME

username79 did anyone else notice who liked the post…

→ username3 good lord she’s back

luca.fantilli it seems war is NOT over 😔

→ yourusername ????

→ dylanduke25 luca i thought you had her blocked smh

→ luca.fantilli how’d you know who i was talking about unless you didn’t have her blocked either???

→ yourusername …

_quinnhughes everyone’s gonna start calling me depressed now 😐

→ yourusername sweetie they’ve been calling you depressed keep up

→ _quinnhughes 😨

→ jackhughes 😱

→ lhughes_06 🤯

dylanduke25 let’s give me the credit for that costume idea!

→ yourusername you told me to dress up as mother gothel.

→ dylanduke25 out of love 🤗

→ markestapa YOU TOLD ME TO DRESS LIKE THE FUCKING HORSE.

→ lhughes_06 HEY MAXIMUS IS A GREAT CHARACTER

edwards.73 why is mark at the family function 🤨

→ yourusername his mama wanted to come 😈

→ markestapa that’s a lie she forced me to come because i was the only one willing to dress up as flynn rider for her

→ edwards.73 …why are you dressing up in costumes at the family function?????

→ yourusername THE KIDS ALWAYS DO A LITTLE COSTUME PLAY CONTEST THING

→ jamie.drysdale she made me dress up as the lorax when we were in middle school

→ yourusername stop complaining i was literally mr o’hare

→ jamie.drysdale AND THEN YOU MADE ME LORD FARQUAD THE YEAR AFTER THAT

→ yourusername 🙄🙄

→ trevorzegras pics or it didn’t happen.

lhughes_06 you really snuck that cute ass pic of you thinking we wouldn’t notice

→ yourusername ew i hate you

→ lhughes_06 you love me

→ yourusername 🙄

→ lhughes_06 say it ☹️

→ yourusername 🥱

→ jackhughes PLEASE JUST SAY IT ALREADY I CANT STAND HIS WHINING

→ yourusername no can do jacky boy 😓

→ lhughes_06 you little shit

→ yourusername luv u too 😒😒

username10 connor looks so done

username98 quinn has never had a good pic of himself posted by any of his friends 💀

mackie.samo I COULDVE BEEN FLYNN RIDER WHY DIDNT U ASK ME

→ yourusername i asked mark first 😓

→ markestapa HAH take that

colecaufield i took that second photo 😒

→ yourusername our lovely backup photographer 🫶🫶

→ lhughes_06 your quality is kinda ass

→ colecaufield BRO i took it on your phone???

missseraphina

liked by yourusername and 202 others

missseraphina i know you miss me, bc why else would you have texted me last night? 🥰

view all comments

username24 oh babe.. that’s not…..

username8 girly this is a bit obsessive don’t you think? 😭

username61 he’s taken. TAKEN.

username82 yesss girl get your man back!!

→ username40 …as in the one that’s in a relationship rn??

username77 sweetie just find someone else already

username95 I THOUGHT THEY ALL BLOCKED HER but lil drizz just liked the post what

→ yourusername it gave me a good laugh what can i say

username43 they’re making an absolute mockery out of her

username20 LMFAOOO

username18 don’t tell me she’s still going on with ts 😭😭

username55 but let’s think about it.. she wouldn’t have posted this unless he actually texted her

username39 it’s bc he still wants u 😝😝

→ username14 i KNOW you’re not talking about luke hughes 💀

yourusername

liked by adamfantilli, jamie.drysdale, dylanduke25, and 347,252 others

yourusername oh girl you’re obsessed 🥱

view all comments

username90 HELL YEAH we’re back on the drama train

jamie.drysdale i thought i told you to block her 😑

→ yourusername I DID but then all my friends were telling me abt the shit she was posting and i couldn’t resist 😞😞

mackie.samo you’re so petty

→ yourusername aw cmon mack you know you love my pettiness 🤗🤗

→ mackie.samo uh huh i definitely do

→ markestapa bro ur literally pettier than she is

→ mackie.samo give me ONE good example

→ markestapa you blocked me for a week because i said your hair looks like a rat lives in it 😐

→ mackie.samo thanks for the reminder im blocking you again

username10 babe ur feeding into the drama 😭

→ yourusername i know 😈

username34 WHEN SHE PLAYS MULTIPLE INSTRUMENTSSSSS

username28 our multi-talented queen!!

adamfantilli will we ever be done with the couple-y shit 😒

→ yourusername when she’s done obsessing over my man 🫶

→ lhughes_06 what’s that heart for yourusername

→ edwards.73 you’re so possesive luke get over yourself 🙄🙄

→ adamfantilli FR

→ markestapa FR

→ luca.fantilli FR

→ jackhughes FR

→ rutgermcgroarty FR

→ _alexturcotte FR

→ _quinnhughes FR

→ trevorzegras FR

→ dylanduke25 FR

→ jamie.drysdale FR

→ colecaufield FR

→ mackie.samo FR

→ yourusername not again 😭

username88 is she ever gonna go away

luca.fantilli but when you think about it.. luke probably DID text her to provoke that post

→ yourusername LMFAO he would neverrrrr right? lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 um

→ lhughes_06 i don’t wanna lie to you

→ yourusername oh

→ luca.fantilli oh shit 🤯

→ jamie.drysdale what.

→ markestapa DUDE I THOUGHT YOU BLOCKED HER lhughes_06

→ edwards.73 there’s no fucking way

→ _quinnhughes …

username20 goddamn what happened under luca’s comment 😭😭

username24 holy shit there’s no way luke actually texted her again

username80 oh my god???

notes ) cliffhanger 🙊🙊 yes we’re back but not really (?) this one’s been sitting in the drafts for a while so.. i hope it’s fairly adequate LMAOO

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s @jackquinnswife @freds-slut @love4ldr @blueeyedbesson @43hughes @v1olentdelights @dancerbailey3 @random-human02 @ho3forfakeguys @loveforaugust @cstads-blog @h0e4fictionalme-n @bunting58

#luke hughes #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes fic #quinn hughes #jack hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #trevor zegras #jamie drysdale #rutger mcgroarty #adam fantilli #luca fantilli #ethan edwards #mark estapa #dylan duke #mackie samoskevich

[ceasarslegion]

The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀

Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.

This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:

Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.

And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.

Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.

I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?

Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.

Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.

Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.

Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.

Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.

The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it

#ramblings

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator #i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much #but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday #forever and ever drawing #but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal #literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i #chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms #bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys #the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so #long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from #everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is #warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable #but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head #hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor #for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b #i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am #but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the #past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria #unrelated

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[8rujaa]

my therapist really saved me….

#tw abuse // tw sa #i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this. #like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her #i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling #literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her #i was so dissociated during our first few sessions #thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out #i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking #i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session #she’s truly incredible. #i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’ #i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong #and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’ #she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be #best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’ #i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply #doing what’s best for me was an option… l #ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress #when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength. #yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D #me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress #im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help. #the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened. #my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’ #LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said #’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’ #she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point #she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help) #im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it #my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.

[krispiecake]

tell me why i can hear another tenants fucking music from my flat. HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN MY BUILDING. HE LIVES IN A COMPLETELY SEPARATE BUILDING ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND I CAN HEAR HIS MUSIC FROM MY FLAT. MY FLAT WHICH IS IN A DIFFERENT SEPARATE BUILDING.

#and staff just say ‘oh we can’t do anything bc its not 11pm yet.’ #ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. #i am autistic person who has just spent a full 12hrs in extremely overstimulating public spaces #i am exhausted and i have had to wake up at ass o’clock in the fucking morning #every day for the past like week and a half and will be expected to do so for the forseeable future #i am extremely sensitive to noise and have no ability to zone things out #like everything is always at the same volume for me #all the fucking time no matter what #and they say like oh well in the community there wouldnt be anything to be done so we cant do anything here #BUT WE ARENT IN THE COMMUNITY. ARE WE. WE ARE AT A SUPPORTED LIVING ACCOMMODATION WHERE I HAVE BEEN PLACED #BY MY LOCAL AUTHORITY WHO ARE PAYING TWENTY THREE GRAND A YEAR #AND I AM PAYING FIVE HUNDRED A MONTH #IN ORDER TO RECIEVE SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITIES. A BIG ONE BEING MY FUCKING AUTISM. #YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHICH IS BEING DIRECTLY IMPACTED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF ANOTHER TENANT. #WHEN I AM BEING PUSHED TO MY LIMIT ALREADY. LIKE IDK FEELS KINDA CRAZY THAT THIS ISNT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE SORTED. #i fucking hate men there is just literally no fucking respect or consideration like its genuinely disgusting and so fucking infuriating #and like he says that staff (women. btw) are being too naggy about it. but never fucking stops to consider that maybe. #maybe people wouldnt have to ‘nag’ you about it IF YOU JUST. DIDNT DO THE THING THAT IS ACTIVELY CAUSING OTHER PEOPLE STRESS. #IDK FUCKING WILD IDEA JUST THOUGHT OF IT. #literally die i want everyone involved to die like I CANNOT DO THISSSSSSSSSSSS

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D

me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening

#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in #like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying #i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty #it #like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night #am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired #or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once??? #idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop #id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem #because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines #so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping #but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real #and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE #i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters #actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists #and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the #7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant #fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get #knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am #and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be #doing them at all #like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding #schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters #delete later

[seeinglittlestars]

Bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#it doesn't' really matter if biden does horrible things cause if a republican candidate wins u dont seriously think theyre going to do #better do you? ok so biden sends weapons to israel and u think if a republican wins then theyll just stop sending them? at least biden #implemented some environmental protection and reversed some of the policies that trump made but i cant believe some ppl really think that #republican winning would be any BETTER than a democrat winningn no itd just be worse so stop being stupid #im talking about u leftist tumblr people... if u want things to not be worse then why dont u just fucking at least vote for a democrat beca #because literally no a third party candidate is not ever going to win and i dont understand what exactly ur even trying to say when ur sayi #saying dont vote for biden ok so then vote for trump instead? or dont vote at all even though u have the power to? or vote for a 3rd party #which is useless and wont do anything? #thats literally ur 3 choices if u can vote and one is better than the others sorry *shrug*

[twilightarcade]

I loooove when people respond to you being mad by being mean to you. Like yeah thanks that's really improving my mood

#wordstag #IM NOT EVEN DOING SHIT TO THEM I AM DOING THE BARE MINIMUM TO MAKE THIS A FUNCTIONAL INTERACTION #I am not yelling at you. I'm not saying anything mean to you. Why do you keep bothering me about being mad #THEN THEY KEEP GETTING ALL OFFENDED !!!!! LIKE YOURE GOING TO POINT OUT HOW I SEEM TO WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE #THEN MAKE IT ABOUT YOU. OUHHH WHY DONT I WANT TO BE WITH YOU? WHY AM I GIVING YOU THE COLD SHOULDER ? ☹️ #like. Cod. Maybe stop being mean to me and I'll want to be with you again. But it's literally not ABOUT you #but for real I announced my intention on making a cake because like. I do that for fun. It brings me joy. Gives me stuff to do #and they would NOT stop bullying me over it yesterdat for some reason ????????? #because I was supposed to make it yesterday. Then didn't. And it turned into a game of #'Ohhhhh I wonder when Neptune's gonna make the cake ☹️☹️☹️ when are you gonna make the cake neptune? ☹️☹️ #you know I would have cake right now if neptune had made the cake but she didn't isn't she so terrible and lazy ☹️☹️☹️☹️' #like bro. You're lucky I like baking and cant eat a whole cake myself or I would personally ensure that you never saw a cake again. #vent #I guess. Hate to put a personal post in a commonly used tag but don't have a vent tag over here because I DONT !!!! #like cod whatever. I think we just need to sit in the dark for an hour or whatever. #eat some grapes.

[skrunksthatwunk]

yeah i can't come to class today, sorry. yeah. yeah. it's cause my hair's too long. mhm. gonna put me out of commission til the weekend at least

#fuck it's too long it's too long it's too long hate hate hate hate hate kill kill kill #i am resisting the urge to cut it all off with scissors but just barely #i havent been able to go home lately and my clippers are there. fUCKK #ITS TOO LONG SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE #i cant stop thinking about shaving my head again or at least cutting it short #it's summer i should have short hair summer is for short hair FUCKK THIS IS WEIRD #i feel like a sad stonermetal mushroom. in middle school. and NOT in a cool way if that wasnt clear!! #hhhhhhhhgnnnghfhn fuckk i feel so gross and weird #i didnt even do anything why are my spoons gone FUCKK. SHITITTTUJ DAMMIT #this is so dumb i literally skipped my second class for no reason and i have so mucj work but i didnt even do anything #i shoudktn be this out ofnit. euhhhhhghh #and i have a new friend and he really really wants to hang out and i dont hav.e the spoons #but i feel so bad.. and i have other ppl i wanna hang out with but i cant bring nyself to readh out #and even if they reached ouy i probably wouldnt be able to respond and i have to go see a show thid week too #bc theyre doing into the woods and i love that shit and i promised id go ans ive been lookign forward to it for months #but i cant. bwuhhhhhhhhghhhh #and i cant just tell the new friend i don't wanna hang out twice this week (one is the play) bc i blew him off all last week #i really dont wanna hurt his feelings but i really can't communicate like he wants me to. and ive kinda said that but still #mmmmmmnnnnuguhghh hes only doing it bc i mean a lot to him but it's moving so fast ans I can't really be there forbhim the way he probably #deserves.. i should probably eat skmething idk. eughhhhhhhhgghhghhggh. melting into a pile of slop and slurry rn #just gonna sink into my bed and not sleep and feel bad. hoorayy

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[thehardkandy]

Travelling back home tomorrow hoping for a smooth groove

#i did have a really nice week last week but now im back to everything feeling busy #(its not really that busy) #and oh i miss being slow like idk ever since i was a literal child doing ONE excursion weekly #for an hour #always felt like such s draining burden #and tbh i would like to know why thst is because while it's easy to see as poor habit as an adult reinforcing itself #as a kid i was always made to do things. see people. #i did a summer camp every year at least during the day #i did sports i went hiking in forests #but i remember so distinctly like an age where i stopped asking my parents to try new things #because i would get so excited!!!! but then every week it would become this overwhelming presence #despite being something that i actively enjoyed #and it eventually felt so awful i was like okay no more wanting things you dont use them wisely #like ouch yeah actually that's a big one. wanting things usually wraps back #around to shame or guilt just about always #anyway how is this relevant to travelling? #it's just that i have to travel tomorrow and i have a doctors appointment Friday i have to go to in person #ive changed beds ive slept in 3 times in 5 days #and all i can say at the end of it is that even these little things are JUST enough to be on edge #to feel like im putting my hands over my ears and closing my eyes and pretend nothing bad is gonna happen #even thougu DEFINITELY something bad is going to happen #but of course it doesnt because this is all benign stuff ive done a trillion times before of no note #crazy how complicated it can be to be a person #it is why i dream of living in a small village where i am an apprentice tradesperson and i live simple house #and the house you can walk to anywhere you need to anywhere you need in an your #but no one is that urgent about anything anyway. #beautiful little place that has never actually ever existed for anyone in anytime #but i am still wanting to scream and pull my hair out just asking why why cant everything slow down and be smaller

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[naes-dairy]

Hey.

#i feel like im so desperate for attention its kinda disgusting #but at the same time like. no??????? 💀 #i literally dont do anything isnt it a basic human need to want attention (or something like that i guess 😒) #but no i guess i hate myself soooo much i cant even want to speak to ppl #idk. im weird. i feel weird. #im literally such a loner and kts evident with my interactions. i probably look like a clown. I'll never do this right i swear #i cant even be called a friend. i dont even talk to my irl friends! im just so boring. theres nothing interesting about me. #im a 'nice' person thats it. i dont really like anything #i dont hate anything too badly. im a people pleaser. im disgusting. tbats ot #thats literally it. #i really should've just stopped trying ages ago. but im not good at that #im sorry for not giving up. #honestly im so selfish thinking things like these. my thoughts are so swlf centered. sigh. i wish i could think about things other than. #yknow. my feelings? #oh boy time to hate myself again #oh. i need to stop this. I'm gonna cringe over this in the not so fistant future. im so embarrassing. #expresso the depresso

[androcola]

if you could see that you’re making excuses for yourself instead of opportunities we wouldn’t be having this conversation whatsoever. you post shit online and then when people try to help you avoid it. grow the fuck up and get a spine.

give me $9000

#asks #anon #bitch im not fucking making excuses did you Just Read My Post you dumbass???? #i just GAVE YOU REAL REASON. why i DONT DUCKING HAVE THE MONEY OR RESOURCES!!!!!! #im glad youre so fucking privileged!!!!!!!! #also im fucking VENTING!! im not asking anyone to fix my problems!! im just blowing hot air!!!! #god DAMN i cant stand people #i DONT have thw money. i DONT have the resources. i DONT have the support system. i DONT FUCKING HAVE ANYTHING!!!!!! #WORST OF ALL. I SUFFER FROM FUCKING DEBILITATING ANXIETY AMD AGORAPHOBIA!!!!!!!! #ALSO every god damn apartment complex in my town will just put me on likw a 5 fucking year waiting list!!!! #you dont understand not SHIT about my fucking situation!!!!!!! stop acting like you fucking know #wanna donate to me? i can make a fucking cashapp. put your money whwre your mouth is #no??? no????? pipe the fuck down then #there is NO available housing in my area. i DONT have the money for a car. i CANT afford to move out of town. I CANT DO SHIT #want me to work a fucking miracle or something???? leave me the fuck alone i didjt ask for your input in the first fucking place #literally the only real way to make any money thats actually enoigh to live off of is fucking sex work atp #and foe my own mental health im not doing that shit #whatever guess ill get on my andrew tate sigma chad grind or whatever. grindset. i dont fucking know

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!