#i'm letting myself enjoy things more

[kimchokejin]

i was tagged by the rootinest tootinest @mindofnmn, the ra ra rasputinest @sugaggukkie​, and the snake in my bootinest @blueside-hobi​ to share the top songs i have on repeat right now. i wasn't sure how many to share so i'm just doing as many songs as i can fit into a screenshot...and since i have a big monitor i can fit 15 hehehehe why am i like this

tagging: @namjoonsmissingairpods, @mutedstring, @softertune​, and anyone else who would like to do this!

#tag: i'm it! #mindofnmn #sugaggukkie #blueside-hobi #namjoonsmissingairpods #mutedstring #softertune #unfortunately you've caught me back on my listening to the same 3 albums on repeat bullshit #which i haven't been on since 2020 #so either the albums are that good #i'm letting myself enjoy things more #or i am...regressing... #anyway time to gush about these songs sorry in advance #first off harry's album sounds SO nice very feel good oldies on a sunday morning and his most gorgeous vocals ever?? #daylight and satellite and music for a sushi restaurant are indeed my faves #but i cannot speak for a lot of the lyrics...esp cinema...i hate that it's so high up here but it's CATCHY #kehlani is in love and a witch now AND i'm going to her concert in sept couldn't ask for anything more tbh #renegade is a song for anyone who has ever loved an emotionally unavailable person #emotion sickness...i hate that i love this song the lyrics are so cringe but it appears i'm still nostalgic for old parachute #and the way the instrumental builds so smoothly through the second verse?? and things occasionally coming in on the off beat toward the end? #[chef's kiss] #slow song is such a bop just don't pay attention to the lyrics they're toxic as hell #the pandemic is NOT over...but that that is still a banger so i just bleep that line out when i listen to it #listen to bad love! watch the mv and a performance!! key didn't go that hard for nothing!!! one of my FAVE songs from last year #all night is literally one of the best sounding bts songs of all time and i feel like no one notices :( #i will say again mr. morale album of the year? experience of the year actually #it's pride month of course i'm listening to honey nonstop who do you think i am #and if you're into folksy singer-songwriters pls check out donovan woods if you've never heard of him his voice and lyrics are exquisite #highly underrated imo...most canadian artists i love are it seems #sorry again i don't know what comes over me sometimes lol

[tapakah0]

Is Jacob's ladder over ?

Nope. It is freezed till I get back to rottmnt 👍🏻

I currently wanna concentrate on doodling what gives me serotonin right now, on animating, animatics, college, side works and learning, especially since it will be finals dor me soon and I don't know what will be happening later

So feel free to unfollow me since there will not be what you want for the near time 👍🏻

#I think I should put “freezed” somewhere on masterpost. And just clean masterpost *sigh* #but with what percentage people will see it #I'm pretty sure very little amount of people can start drawing something on command #I am still on the tumblr only because of one person in the first place #I can't draw even more and not expect myself not to explode #It is with the fact that I don't even have an official work like most people do #So yeah I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to sound bad or anything but the more asks I get about if JL is finished or not the more I don't #want to get back to it. I have drafts and main ideas finished. I will get back to it when I will feel like drawing rottmnt again #For now let me enjoy other things *bow*

[airanke]

One of the dumbest things I've ever drawn 🤣🤣🤣

Please appreciate these two idiots if their story was a Rom-Com! It's a scene from a manga called "Do-Chokkyuu Kareshi x Do-Chokkyuu Kanojo (Super Straightforward Boyfriend x Super Straightforward Girlfriend)"!!! The panel is under the cut (also that's why you read it <<<<<<<<< that way)

Props to @celest-star-collection for sending me the panel!

#Dabi #Abiteth Kenka #Touya Todoroki #bnha oc #mha oc #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #lov #league of villains #dabi x oc #oc x dabi #oc x canon #canon x oc #dabi art #touya art #oc #original character #this is so FUCKING STUPID WHO LET ME DRAW THIS?!?! #I will never not see Dabi being more shy about intimacy #tbqh #I haven't read the manga I referenced from but it looks cute?? #Even though Rom-Coms are really not my thing 😂 #Mostly because I can't write humor very well myself #At least not in my opinion?? #I'M SURE MANY OF MY FRIENDS WILL ARGUE WITH ME THAT MY HUMOR IS A-TIER #Anyway I couldn't stop laughing drawing this so enjoy

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

Pokémon said bisexual rights 🫵✨✨✨

#fluff binges !!! #treating myself to more Horizons eps since I had a pretty awful past week mentally and need a pick-me-up #I keep smiling so wide while watching this series it's just so lighthearted and sweet #and can get unexpectedly resonant at times (I'd honest to god tear up from Liko's moments early on because right now identity's something-- #--I'm deeply struggling with - so seeing her always want to try and find out more about the kind of trainer she wants to be hits close) #this series is comforting to me and I get to enjoy it at my own time and pace 💖💕✨ #(that may seem like a superficial thing but I've been through a lot lately aight I'm taking the little joys I can) #(and frankly I've been............... hiding out from other places because I just. need time away from things) #(so let me be silly on my lil blog here this is like a safe space heehaw 💃💃💃) #but anyways Horizons is for the queers amen #I'm not going insane right like . y'all see the queer-coding in other episodes tooSDKJFSJNDFNS #I also say bisexual Orio because of her talking about Friede earlier on there were sparks aiiiight they're cute #pokemon horizons #anipoke #pokeani #orio pokemon

[cathalbravecog]

i'm the antonymph of the internet

#how many tributes to this song will i make in my life #MANY ! it literally changed my life and means a lot to me. i love antonymph and vylet pony's music is worth checking out - please do. #unsupervised internet access as a queer neurodivergent kid anthem !! #i chose to do misty since we all know i like drawing her in experimental pieces and putting her in outfits. she also has art in a gir hoodi #from the clash team in treasure trove!! :D #this is also experimental/stylistic as well!! had fun!! nice to just draw something in one day and not worry. leaves me tired but... #haven't done a nice piece like so in one day in a while!!! i'm very proud :] it's a fun one #anyways... both a little tribute to the song and misty as a character #ihave so many thoughts about misty even if i dont talk publicly on them. shes a very interesting character to me and i care about her so #much. i compared her to fluttershy in the past - and realized that if i liked ttcc as a kid she would've been my favorite. #fluttershy on her own meant a lot to me as a child. including mlp itself as it's one of the core things that got me into drawing art online #a lot of my analysis on misty and headcanons at least on the more emotional scale do come from a bit of projecting but...it makes it more #fun to me when i can put myself into the shoes of a character like her who i already relate to. rrghh too bad im scared to talk about her #too much in nuanced detail in public since some people are... not so nice about her. though i know the tumblr audience is nice and unders #standing!! #anyways from me just having fun being me #i let misty have a little bit of fun... something i think she would possibly enjoy? i do see her as someone who gets nostalgic #and is stuck in more childish things and matters. she wants to play ip dip with you...its very sweet to me. letting myself and her be #confident through a song that means so much to me is kind of powerful to me. i had a lot of fun making this drawing. #anyways. love this song. love ttcc. love mity /p. be swag and be self indulgent and have fun. you can do anything u want forevah #toontown #toontown corporate clash #antonymph #guz art #rainmaker

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

gratitude list time I'll go first

#stopped caring about some things I was caring far too much about #it's another rainy dreary day which means I can wear cozy clothes and curl up with my brother's dog and coffee and a book #little guy and I are just chillin. he's tiny and shorthaired so he gets cold easily and likes to cuddle up #and seeing as I'm the only person home rn... doggo cuddle time it is!!! #I've been reading more lately!! I'm having trouble with tbosas so I got out a couple other things (sea of tranquility included) #that I've really enjoyed. I'm reading turtles all the way down right now and oh boy I forgot how nice a little contemporary #coming of age novel can be at times. also forgot that john green is a genuinely good writer. as in I personally enjoy his style. #let's see... my favorite sound guy for church is home from college for the summer which means THERES SOMEONE HERE #WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW THE SOUND SYSTEM WORKS. me and the other sound guys have been barely #managing the last couple months bc there's been a ton of random technical glitches (the system is pretty old tbh) #so HALLELUJAH THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT TO DO IS BACK!!!! #I've been branching out into a bunch of things I wouldn't have thought to enjoy lately bc of the time I've been spending #with my sister in law. music and tv shows and even foods and stuff!!! #Gurt is coming to visit me in a week and a day!!!!!! I'm SO EXCITED #and last but certainly not least I gave myself bangs again and honestly I'm so happy about it.

[hajihiko]

hey rumps, we're stood on 'loves every art you make' island.

We can see 'finds you annoying' island from here, trust us. You're the only one on it. You should just get a boat and join us.

We're willing to wait till you're ready to join us but if you ever need extra help just give us a short and we'll personally drag you here if need be

Ok I will reply to this before I sleep bc it is very sweet

I am getting to that island, I'm like more than a halfway there, I just keep looking back bc there's a lot of footsteps on the previous island (half are mine). But the encouragement is wind in sails hang on that's too sappy what I mean is I appreciate it

#It's not that I think I'm wrong. It's just like #The more I let myself enjoy things the worse it is when someone either ruins it for me or else makes me regret it somehow #<past exp shit nothing to do with anyone here #But ty fdg I do appreciate it #Idk if I can ever learn to not be anxious about what I do but I'm at least aiming for it #Not an art

[meownotgood]

Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥

YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!

so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.

and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.

but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)

anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history

#I love this question #I also think it's important to say #albeit it's a bit silly #when I read chainsaw man I was going through a pretty hard time in my life #I'd gone through a bad breakup and I felt very lost #I was reading a lot of manga because I needed something to do to get my mind off things #I think that's part of the reason why I got attached to aki so quickly... #but he means a lot to me because of that #aki helped me to become myself again #also I'm sure I've said this before #but I started writing fanfic because I'd read all the fanfic of aki and #I still needed more #I thought it would be fun bc I always enjoyed writing but it'd been years since I did #suddenly on a random night at 3 in the morning I was like #you know what... I can't sleep... I know how to write... I can make my own aki content... let's do it #and I wrote that first fic like there was no tomorrow #(don't read it btw it sucked BAHAHA) #I posted it on ao3 for fun expecting no one to care but when just a handful of people read it and said they liked it I was overjoyed #I'm grateful I started writing again... I'm glad I get to do what I love and write about what makes me happy #and people actually enjoy it?? THAT'S CRAZY #sorry for ranting too much #can't wait to see where this journey will continue to take me #ask mags

[elephantbitterhead]

Having finally been driven to blacklisting content, I'd like to take this moment to say that no annoying/overexposed/boring/formulaic/etc. musician will ever be as irritating to me as their fans and their haters are.

#let us all shut up more often & more vigorously #especially about the artistic virtues & vices of strangers whose lives affect us not at all #amen #just go about your business in peace #also why is this something that happens to me so often #so many musicians I could do without attract the most devoted evangelists #for example #perhaps I could have learned to like Nick Cave #but I will never know because too many Cave-ites were constantly trying to ram him into my ears at every turn #and eventually I rebelled on principle because so many annoying people were trying to make me do the same thing #there are very few people with whom I want to have in-depth conversations about music #as someone who does not press music upon others #I don't understand this behavior #if you like the music I am playing #presumably you will ask about it #if you hate it #I assume you'll let me know #that's good enough for me #also if you hate the music I'm playing & say so #I will not start crying about how the music is actually great & the musician is secretly the messiah #I will play something else that we can both enjoy #I am OK with you not liking my music #I can blast it for myself when you are not around

[mainfaggot]

life is all about sitting in cafés with a latte and a cute outfit on

#hi everyoomfie. today I'm feeling less sad than usual. casual melancholy? maybe a bit #but deep sadness and even deeper melancholia? no... and that's okay because im more than my misery #isn't it so weird! I've spent a small period of my life clinically depressed and suddenly it feels like my identity #i dont enjoy it. i dont like it. im not fond. it's not romantic. it's miserable. but at age 16-17 when all my friends were transforming and #figuring themselves out .. i got sick #and now being sick feels like all i can be. but thats just not true!!!!!! so im trying to let myself float along #sometimes im miserable and sometimes im neutral and sometimes im even pretty good over the smallest thing (a song or a compliment or a well #made cup of coffee or a grin from the girl i like) #and yeah. whatever i dont know i contain multitudes and i dont have to be miserable forever. maybe I'll #recover from depression and maybe i won't #maybe i will and then relapse #but it's not who i am #z.post

[craycraybluejay]

Bruh I be having literally the worst urges and I feel bad that I don't feel bad at all. Like damn. Guess I'm really like that. Well, anyway.

#i am apathetic to whatever monstrosities lie within my mindscape #or rather i enjoy them and am apathetic to the idea that they are evil #unfortunately the fact that I'm excited ab them makes me rly rly rly want to talk ab them #which would be bad #but if it gets bad enough i think its time i let my therapist in on the next circle of anouther hell #i know she will be kind no matter what i spring on her #but this. i dont know how to feel or what to think about all this #its pathological. i can fix it about as well as i can fix the fact that i adore music or get turned on by fear or am consistently- #-platonically or otherwise pulled to murderers and the like #i know its some psychosexual nonsense-- some fixation rooted in some perverse symbolism that i cant fully grasp #its so difficult to be a BadWrong thoughts and desires person #bc even tho i have like. some level of control and ethicsband whatnot. even tho im not doing the guilt ocd thing. #even though i know im ok the way i am #i also know i cant talk ab it. cant be excited about it. cant vent or happy rant about it. stay quiet. let it eat ya #cause ppl cant accept some things cant like. come to terms with things. again and again #i find myself relating more to 'good people' but being able to talk more openly and honestly with 'bad people' #like im too far from either side to ever be fully myself but i must let it out #and so i find i cant trust the people i love most with some of the most personal things more than i can trust a complete stranger #because at least that stranger has no spare room to judge. and i cant give af about losing a strangers high esteem of me #i share something truly heinous and sure i may be threatened but. disappointment from ppl u love is worse than murderous rage from strangers #which came first- the fixation or the corruption? i think it was the fixation #i was like that before. whatever false indulgences i have given myself will always sate the beast and not create it #i am not a bad person. but i will always have a monster inside me. a balancing act between #being a somewhat polite functioning member of society and completely losing myself to the dark #i dont hate myself. i wish i did sometimes so i wouldnt have the urge to vomit it all out #i wish i hated myself and felt such guilt over all that so i could be happy with being quiet. i wish it was only good that excited me proper #or rather i wish i knew someone like me in the right ways. irl. no phones no danger. who i could share with excitedly and not feel like ill #be told that im a freak who deserves to die. someone who will share equally horrific things with me and will keep me in check #i want talk therapy but with someone that has something SO wrong with them. a friendship that is nasty and fun and grossly honest #someone to say 'i know what ur talking ab/how u feel' when i say something pitch dark

[iguessitsjustme]

you do you. i'll do me. and then after that we can do each other

#and that's just playboyy the series ain't it #no idea what i watched #but i watched it #this will probably be my only post that even slightly references the show #it's definitely not something to my taste and i probably won't have any fun things to say #so i'm gonna keep my big mouth shut and let y'all enjoy your gay sex and crimes show #the show that talks about sex rights and gay wrongs #i'm just gonna see myself out #wait i might have one more thing to kind of say about it but in relation to other shows #hold on

[ruelpsen]

I genuinely mean it when I say I hope the L****posting isn't annoying btw

#i mean yeah this is my blog but i'm not used to being this upfront about thirsting for a crush even if he is fictional #he does actively feed many of my fantasies (no pun intended) these days though #maybe i'm just being too self-critical and i need to let myself enjoy things idk #i should come up with a tag for my posts about him at some point regardless though #but also hey if you do want to know more about him/my thoughts on him i am always down for that #londarling

[steakout-05]

i was thinking about how it took me a while to figure out i'm aegosexual (which basically means that there's a disconnect between yourself and being the subject of attraction) and i thought about how much i really dislike and just cannot see myself in slash reader fics. i tend to dislike these fics for multiple reasons, but some of them include that the reader self insert is usually really boring, has no personality outside of being lovey dovey and isn't unhinged enough for certain characters for reasons outside of contrasting personalities for my tastes (like spamton for example, why are you writing a normal protagonist to pair with fuckin spamton of all characters). but another reason is that i literally cannot connect myself to the reader self insert. like i cannot imagine myself in their place at all, it's always another stand-in that i imagine instead and thinking about myself in their place makes me uncomfortable. i can't see myself in their place because i don't see myself as a subject of attraction, and i'm repulsed to that idea. so i imagine someone else instead because that's better to me. and also because of the aforementioned reasons that have more to do with the writing of the self insert, i just cannot imagine myself acting the way the self insert does because I Personally Would Not Fucking Do That™. like i would not be romantically kissing a guy on a date, i would be infodumping about my special interests for 3 hours and then start ranting about how funny cars are while he just smiles and nods lmao

this is why i've never really self-shipped with any character. like i can be attracted to them and be like "i wanna hold his hand/kiss him/do inexplicable things to his psyche", but in reality i could never actually see myself as a subject of attraction by this character, so i'd either ship them with another character i like or imagine a sort of stand-in that has some of my traits and lives out my fantasies but still isn't me. i can fall in love but i can never connect because ew that's gross and weird. watching from the sidelines by reading fics and looking at fanart about characters being shipped with others and being intimate with each other is more my cup of tea.

#aegosexual #also i'm not like. sad about this or anything #maybe i'm a little disappointed that i probably won't experience some things but i'm not like. crying about it. #i literally don't care about it and i think i actually prefer it this way #being seen as something arousing is fucking disgusting and weird in a bad way to me and i don't think i should ignore how i feel just to- #-experience something i won't enjoy. #i just want to watch my little fictional men hold each other and kick my legs like an excited schoolboy about it in peace #also unpopular opinion but slash reader fics SUUUUUUCK and i'd rather read something else instead #now let's sit back and watch literally everyone get mad at that opinion lmao #i'm kidding i'm kidding you're obviously free to enjoy slash reader fics #i just find them to be completely unrelatable and i feel like throwing a self insert into the mix kinda ruins the whole dynamic for me #like i just personally find the idea of meddling in that character's life and being their hubby to be very unattractive #especially when the self insert is so barebones that there's no chemistry #we need more slash reader fics that are just an expression of how much the reader admires the character and nothing more i think #idk maybe i just haven't read enough slash reader fics to appreciate them as their own thing disconnected from me but i really just kinda- #-don't like them because the ones i've read were mostly kinda boring..... sorrgy #i always preferred projection anyway #although i do like dating sims. of course i don't attach myself to the MC but i do like them more than reader fics. i wonder why that is. #probably because the MC tends to have more character traits i guess? so then i can just consider them to be a different person- #-and i'm just pressing buttons for them #it's more free and directional i guess

[redrockbutch]

I know everyone hates The Power of Positive Thinking on this webbed site bc it's so often used to dismiss serious structural or societal issues but tbh I wonder if it's a branding issue. Will enjoying the spring breeze or thinking about things you like about yourself fix your entire life? No, probably not.

But what do you think a commitment to negativity is doing for you? Do you really think it's helping? After a certain point, constantly and aggressively acknowledging the negativity serves no purpose, especially in your own mind. If you already know you're miserable, why does it require so much enforcing? Why not try something else and see what happens?

Why not let yourself enjoy what you can?

#I have worried a lot in my life that I'm not enjoying things enough as I did them and that must mean I was incapable of True Happiness #turns out it's easier to notice unhappiness etc bc I put a name to it #'I don't enjoy this. I hate this. I'm uncomfortable. I'm in pain' #never did that for positive things and now I try to #just saying 'this is nice' when things are nice makes that feeling surge #it's so easy to feel like negativity is more realistic but it isn't and I was obliterating my ability to enjoy things by not giving them th #same fanfare as I did when I was unhappy #turns out i gotta speak its name and it shall appear #and stop constantly thinking about everything wrong with me. turns out that makes you unhappy #I already know my issues no need to beat the dead horse. I'm working on them and that has to be enough #cassidy.txt #I have to write these things or I'll forget forever #but the past week has been really nice bc I let myself call it nice #anyways let's call it the skeleton blast of negativity that you should avoid. will that help.