#i'm not joking about the friends part

[lnkedmyheart]

This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

#soukoku #ah my ramblings #i just really really love the light novels #i am mostly joking about the romance of it all #mostly #but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character #like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya #not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human #he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend #and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way #i love this boy so much #someone hug him please #dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either #yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life #long post #i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.

[alyxinfact]

was no one going to tell me this was canon

#ace attorney #spirit of justice #apollo justice #athena cykes #the best part about ace attorney is how you can't tell if i'm joking #the best part about friends is that they were there to witness this with me so i know it is real ;_;

[simplepotatofarmer]

i think i've been sad lately because a lot of things have changed with the way i see people and the fandom space and realizing how common place this sort of cruelness and denial of room for growth is.

#beyond also making me feel bad and like... i don't know. #i have my own experiences and since oct. '22 i've felt like they're just buzzwords or jokes and it sucks #sorry i've been struggling a bit #there was a part of me that truly thought a lot of the people i was friends with especially on twitter #just. i don't know. i don't know how to explain it. #i feel like i'm constantly being judged for very personal things #loyal talks about stuff and things

[lilac-lemonade]

"you can choose your family, but you can't choose your friends" is so funny but it's also so

#i'm being so normal about this comedic dnd campaign i swear #i just !!! #i know it's a joke line but i'm still unwell about it #the idea of chosen family is always nice #but the idea that you CAN'T choose your friends #that they just become part of you #idk idk idk #sword af #fernie #shayne topp #smosh #smosh games

[auberginesdonthavelimbs]

Sellswords headcanon/thing that is amusing to me to imagine.

When Artemis and Jarlaxle were adventuring together, if someone asked Artemis about his "friend," he would immediately respond, "He's not my friend."

Jarlaxle overheard this of course and started playing along, also denying that they were friends when asked. Unlike Artemis, though, he always elaborated.

e.g.:

We met five minutes ago

I'm just following him because he owes me money

Who - Oh Hells, I thought I lost him

I've never seen that man before in my life

He's my husband

He's my twin brother

That's an automaton I built

We're members of rival factions tasked with spying on each other

"It's just that it's mostly my fault he got cursed so I feel obligated to help him find a way to break it." "In what way is he cursed?" "That's very polite of you to pretend not to notice."

He's a shape shifted red dragon and he's planning to eat me. Please help.

You can see him too??

#legend of drizzt #the legend of drizzt #jarlaxle #jarlaxle baenre #artemis entreri #what i am on the fence about is whether artemis also started playing along #on the one hand he was not much for talking to people #on the other hand he was much for being mean to Jarlaxle #so maybe not really jokes but just telling some part or version of the truth. like. #he's not my friend he's the asshole who enslaved me. #he's not my friend i'm just cursed to travel with him until i can figure out how to kill him #probably specifically when Jarlaxle was clearly listening or even just standing right there #like Jarlaxle makes a point of introducing him as “my friend Artemis” to set him up #so he can immediately say “we are not friends. words cannot express how much i hate this drow." #and Jarlaxle is smiling like *ain't he a scamp* while Artemis does not look remotely like he's joking

[maulfucker]

This song is making me want to start yet another fic to never finish,, "Tell me... Where is your hideout? Who are we running from? I'm starting to think that you were right, and now I'm afraid of letting go of your hand...." Maul giving up on his Mandalore plan and deciding to just stalk Kenobi to tell him about his vision. Staying illegally in Obi-Wan's room because I love putting these guys in situations (and because Maul would NOT leave him alone until Obi-Wan actually accepted Maul is right, which he won't). Following Obi-Wan to Utapau and helping him escape after the clones attack, feeling equal parts vindicated and enraged (because he was proved right but Sidious still won). Them being on the run together....

#hm i should make an original post tag #maul #obi-wan #obimaul #<- probably but not necessarily. i can write non shipping fics i swear. #song is jamoga by selvagens à procura de lei #i love the original version but the acoustic version with roberta campos is also really really good #that part up there is the chorus and not the only part that's giving me fic vibes but it's the best example #''we were two winding roads seeking each other through separate ways... i thought you had blamed me‚ but no one had trapped me.. #you were the only one I could call the only one‚ and yet.. i stopped calling your name....'' #<- part that also makes me Think #back to story ideas i am also thinking about maul faking padmé's death on mustafar (with magick. because it's fun) #and padmé moving in with the larses. pretending to be beru's sister. raising luke there‚ both of them in hiding. #she would enjoy the simple life. it reminds her of her youth in naboo‚ before she became queen. #[... meanwhile maul and obi-wan are fighting for their lives] #i am a huge sucker for enemies to friends (to lovers) with these two #and i think having to live together in a small ship and shitty space hotel rooms would be great for bonding (joke) #(but i'm still shoving them in there) #what's more fun than roaming the galaxy with your worstie because you're both hiding from the government #bickering the entire time because you still lowkey want to kill each other

[torgawl]

if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.

#either platonically or romantically having people genuinely appreciate you and having genuine connections with people is what makes life #worth living #frieren is a beautiful show about loss grief and how people change you just by being present in your life how they add to your life how #your true friends inspire you and how we keep each other's memories alive how love is timeless despite the finality of our human condition #and you tell me himmel is pathetic? #what a joke #i'm biting himmel haters like an enraged chihuahua #infection you with the power of love so you understand that loving makes the world more beautiful #besides frieren not understanding her own feelings at the time she always cared for himmel and the others as well #she just took more time to learn how to reciprocate and demonstrate the importance they had for her #because she isn't humans which is normal #a big part of life for everyone is having regrets and wishing it wasn't too late #frieren explores that perfectly #the friendships in that story are so pure and well nurtured #it's a shame internet culture rotted your brains so much that you think there's something inherently wrong with having unrequited feelings #and being okay with it #it's a shame you reduce such a genuinely good character who proved his will was above anything mystical to a 'simp' #anyways. himmel stays winning. #he put a ring on it too like imagine thinking he's losing when frieren is having dead wife flashbacks of him the entire show

[homicidalbrunette]

This is some heart eyes right here

#the Brians #heart eyes #im dying to know who this female billionaire is #I hope it's Bezos's ex #i know she called trixie a wife when she's telling a story about being annoyed with David which might make some people jump to conclusions #but babies it was a joke #and him trying to be supportive #I'm seeing all these little gestures katya is making about David as her trying to be a good friend #and accept him as an unavoidable part of trixie's life #while also being the person who trixie goes to for unending support and complete devotion and love #and the person he has the most fun with #so its okay #trixya #cj post

[fisheito]

slithering out from under a rock or something to inform you that you DO have followers who are yaku lovers <3 he's been my fave since day one and i would love to accompany him to the farmers market

ah.. i sit corrected... valuable confirmation of intel. *enters it manually into the nucadex* where to find yakufans: farmer's market (they will be farming and/or marketing)

#i also am likely to be found in such an environment #i will be talking to the mushroom people for 20 minutes #my non-browsey friends in the background lingering like bored toddlers for the first 3 mins #until i start gesturing wildly about logs. then they give up and start wandering #oh no they got started on the logs this ain't wrapping up any time soon #that last post definitely brought out more yakufans than i've seen around these parts!! #like the rain brings out the worms (～￣︶￣)～ #hello everyone. thank u for visiting. make sure to grab a soil bag on ur way out (it is moist and finely textured) #gently scooping the wild yakufans back into their habitat so they may resume stealthy slithering #i'm gonna start joking about nucadex collecting now #u raise an eyebrow at me. i sigh. i know i knooooow #just because ppl share similar interests does not mean they are similar creatures #individual differences stronger than group differences yadayada yes we understand this implicitly #and i do so enjoy having a diverse biome of fans around me. FOR EXAMPLE: #YOINKS the wolfboy fans by the scruff of their necks #u can't do this to yakufans. but these guys??! built of sturdier stuff. #uses one of those long distance ball throwers to launch them across the field (they are chuckling mildly mid-flight) #BUT FOR THE JOKES 🙌👌👌 FIND YOUR LOCAL YAKUFAN AT THE PLACE THEY SELL FRESH FRUTAS #asks

[kittyandco]

part 1 dio: oh my god my sweet baby angel so beautiful amazing hot sexy sweet immaculate perfect so handsome gorgeous 🥺🥺🥺🥺😳😳😳

part 3 dio:

#jk he's beautiful -- i love SDC dio but PB dio is superior in every way. like That is my husband actually for real #the only reason i didn't change my tag for him to reflect part 1 is because my friend gave it to us 😭 #i'm legally obligated to make this joke every now and then #it's just the animation style changing so drastically and for the worst. the only one it looks good on is hol horse like DAMN #not me making this post about hol horse now don't co-opt 😭 #💕 you're za warudo to me

[soldier-poet-king]

Need to find someone who can meet me on my level*

* keeps accidentally calling non-standard descriptive terms & subject access points 'homebrew' instead of 'in-house'

#for legal reasons this is a joke #im living my best boring little life #almost called the non lcsh subject headings homebrew to my 60yr old white woman boss today #IN HOUSE. I MEANT IN HOUSE. AS IN. NOT PART OF A WIDER STANDARD ACCEPTED IN THE FIELD #i mean lcsh kinda suck major ass #but y'know. im not getting into the subject heading debate here. I'm tired #anyway yeah im ur weirdo boring friend who gets excited about metadata and database management #spreadsheets my beloved. hierarchical and relational data points my beloved. neatly ordered finding aids my beloved. #FACETED AND FINDABLE MATERIALS MY BELOVED

[fleshdyke]

hchkvgjvfj

#csa warning for tags #goddd being raped at 6ish and brutally bullied is a hell of a combination #i was the one kid in not only my grade but multiple above and below me as well that the boys would dare each other to 'ask out' #absolutely CONSTANTLY. like jesus #by the time i was raped i'd already been bullied pretty badly for a while. including being constantly told i was ugly by all the boys #which is like. a huge reason i was raped in the first place. i still dont know who it was but i can only assume he took advantage of me #being constantly bullied to abuse me. as child rapists so often do #but like i was always the one that would be 'asked out' as a dare bc why would any of them want to talk to me #it was so inconceivable that any of them could want to be near me let alone 'go out' with me. they didn't even bother trying to hide the way #they laughed. like they didn't try to hide it bc they knew no one would do anything #and this happening to me fucking constantly for years on end throughout my ENTIRE childhood. that fucks with you man #like i dont think its even possible for anyone to like being around me at all. let alone find me attractive #there's still never been a single person who's had a crush on me or whatever #like all my friends have stories about annoying boys having crushes on them when they were younger. and what does it say about me that im #the complete opposite. and like it's so stupid because who fucking cares what 10 year old boys thought in 2016 but it really really fucks #you up bad man. like if anyone ever does come to be attracted to me for whatever reason i dont think im ever going to be able to believe it #i'm always going to be waiting for the joke to end and them to start laughing. i'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop #and the worst part of it all is that i fucking want to be raped again #being raped as a little kid is the only time anyone has ever wanted me. it's the only time i've ever been desired. and i dont even like sex #but it's just the only time anyone has ever loved me in a non parental way #like i have one crush story to all my friends'. and it was a grown man that raped me when i was little #and i want to be raped again so fucking badly not because i would enjoy it but because it would prove that someone actually fucking wants me #i want to be sexually harassed and not in the way i usually am. i want to be catcalled and have to be scared walking around alone #i want men to grope me and say disgusting things and rape me because then i would finally be fucking wanted #it would prove that i'm actually likeable in some capacity. that i still am #im so scared that now that im grown im just a lost cause. because i was only desirable when i was little. now im just nothing #and i know i shouldnt even care but its so fucking hard to shake. i just want someone to love me #and i love my mom so much but i want them to love me because they want to and not because they have to #rambles #vent

[sailor-aviator]

.

#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point #i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one #i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit #and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair #and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again #i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl #and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it #and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill #and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with #and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own #i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person #and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks #also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me #and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now #and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do #and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this #but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me #and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end #anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down

[timetravellingkitty]

.

#last night an ex friend who ignored me for 6 fucking months just messaged me saying “oh im sorry i want to make things clear between us” #“i dont want any bad relations before the end of the year blah blah blah” #and she didn't even apologise properly #i told her i didnt accept her apology because i didnt trust her anymore and that i deserved friends who cared about stuff like that #and her response to that? “wow nice to see you're so cocky let me knock your ego down a few notches” #“you're a loud and obnoxious bitch you think you the world revolves around you just cause you read some feminist books” #which tells me that she really didnt mean her sorry #she just wants a clean slate and validation she's actually a good person #im sorry but you dont get to use as a stepping stone for YOUR character development #why apologise if you don't fucking mean it #and the worst part is my friend still thinks she's a good person and whatever blah blah blah FUCK OFF #i know no one really wants to listen what i have to say given that i'm always taken as a joke #but srsly fuck off it's amazing how her friend hurting me isnt a big deal cause she's “not as bad as i think she is” #god i miss my old friends we have such a strong bond but we don't meet that often i just want to hug them so bad #i'm glad i didnt listen to the part of me that wanted to forgive her one of my ex friends was also like her and i've learnt my lesson #vent #personal

[blujayonthewing]

well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'

#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me. #I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose' #this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it #the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot #and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly #this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN. #I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it #AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still... #OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME. #trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time) #I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it. #my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number' #when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct #my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒' #going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed #including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim #like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right' #because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY. #no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about. #I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though' #which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect #and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character. #'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up' #you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot. #maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people #or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say. #about me

[magentagalaxies]

i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating

#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is #but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person #they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it'' #and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing'' #and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense #however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z #i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material #(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them) #(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least) #i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience #bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials #and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it #luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib #for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic #so i'll get a lot of data points this summer #@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people #(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town) #(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'') #also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics #bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all #i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops'' #like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity'' #BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like. #this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term #but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me #and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen #like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling #the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context #and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50 #bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase